TTA CT trfIY !0 KL ISProprietor.] new series, A weekly Democratic paper, devoted to Poli % tic, News, the Arte -jl -Alirf^rm^k and Sciences Ac. Pub- " ■ ished every Wednes- g pay, at Tunkhannock * n Sfc^^yfrfr^ Wyoming County, Pa yi" '\ U I" BY HARVE Y SICKLER Terms —1 copy 1 year, (in advance) $2.00 net pain within six months, 82.50 will be charged NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all a rear*gee are paid; unless at the option of publisher. AUVERTISINO^ 18 lines or . ! ) J.I less, make three \four] two \three six one one square weeksweckslmo'thmo'lh moUh' year 1 Square LOO- 1,25 2,25-' 2,87 ; 3,00 5,0 * do 2 00! 2,bo\ 3,255 3.505 4 50' 6,0 3 do 3,00! 3 75' 4,75 5,50; 7,00; 9,0 t Column. 4,00< 4 50'; 6,50 8,00; 10,00; 15,0 ft do. 6,00, 9-50 10,00? 12.00! 17.00; 25,0 ft do 8 00? 7,0! 14,00; 18,00 s 25,00. 35,0 1 do. 10',00 12,00' 17,00! 22,0029,00 s 40/1 EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, 82,50 OBITUARIES,- exceeding ten lines, each ; RELI GIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of genera interest, one half the aegular rotes. Business Cards of one square, with paper, 85. • JOB WORK of all kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit the times. All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB WORK must be paid for, when ordered. fusing gjata. GEO. S. TUTTON, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Tunkhonnock, Pa. Office in Stark's Brick I eck, Ttoga street ,R. LITTLE, ATTORNEY AT LAW Office on Tioga street, Tunkhannock Pa. WN. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, 01 fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk " bannock, Pa. H S.COOPER, PilYSlcrAN A SURGEON • Newton Centre. Luzerne County Pa. &jio fuejilfr §)mtSL HARHISBURG, PENNA. The undersigned having lately purchased the " BUEIILER HOUSE " property, has already com menced such alterations and improvements as will render this old and popular House equal, if not supe rior, to any Hotel in the City of Ilari-i*'"""-*- A oontinuanee of the public patronage is refpcct fully solicited. 3 GEO. J. BOLTON WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN HOUSE, TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. THIS establishment has recently been refitted an furnished in the latest style Every attention will he given to the comfort and convenience of those mho patronize the House. T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor ; Tunkhannock, September 11, IS6I. I>K. .T. C- BECKER . PHYSICIAN As SURGEON, Would respectfully announce to the citizcnsof Wy ming, that he has located at Tunkhannock where he will promptly attend to all calls in the line of hia profession. EST Will be found at home on Saturdays of •aeh week NORTHBRAW CHH 07£ L, MESHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA Wb. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above Hotel, the undersigned will spare no effort to vender the house an agreeable place of sojourn for all who may favor it with their custom. Win. H. CCRTRIIIHT. June, 3rd, 1863 Pots Intel, TOWANX3A, PA. D. B. BARTLET, (Lata of the Bbrairard HOUSE, ELMIRA, N. Y. PROPRIETOR. The MEANS HOTEL, U one of the LARGEST •nd BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt is fitted up in the most modern and improved style, •ad no pains are spared to make it a pleasant and agreeable stopping-place for all, v 3, n2l, ly. CLARKE, KEENEY, CO., MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLESALE DEALERS IN LADIES', MISSES' & GENTS' silfeanti£amiitete§)ats AND JOBBERS IN HATS, CAPS, FURS, STRAW GOODS, PAIASOLS AND UMBRELLAS. BUFFALO AND FANCY ROBES, 840 BTLOADW A -y y CORNER OF LEONARD STREET, HSW 8. F. CLARKE, I A. C KEENE T, ( M. L KEENEY, J M. GILMAX^ OILMAN, has permanently located in Tunk • bannock Borough, and respectfully tenders his professional services to the citizens of this place and urrounding country. FACT L ION ORK WARRANTEI >. T0 gIVE SATIS- over Tqttou's Law Office, near the Pus I>w', 11,186| § ftfgto 14 A Wfe i iite 11 nil farattch Hc tn IHT,U . MANHOOD. Third Edition, Fifty Thousand, 96 pages cloth covers, By ROBT. E, BELL, M. D., Member of the Royal College of Surgeons. London, addressed to youth, the married, and those CONTEMPLATING MARRIAGE. Sent by mail, post paid, on receipt of TEN CENTS A careful perusal of this small book has been a BOON TO THE AFFLICTED ! ! and has saved thousands from a life of misery and AN UNTIMELY GRAVE, It treats on the evils of Youthful Indiscretion, Self- Abuse, Seminal Weakness, Emissions, Sexnal Dis eases, Genera! Debility.Loss of Power, Nervousness, Premature Decay, Impotence, <fcc.. <fcc., which unfit the sufferer from fulfilling the OBLIGATIONS OF MARRIAGE. and illustrates the moans of cure by the use of IMPORTANT "MMF' 1 ' 1 * 0 ™ CE. and other treatment necessary in some cases and which Never fails to Cure and can be Relied on. They do not nauseate the stomach, or render the breath offensive, and they can be USED WITHOUT DETECTION. They do not interfere with business put suits, and are speedy in action. NO CHANGE OF DIET IS NECESSARY. They are Warranted in <d Cases, to be effectual in removing and curing the disease. Upwards ot two thousand cases are on record that HAVE BEEN CURED by using BELL'S SPECIFIC PILLS, and certifi cates can b e shown from many that have used them No Case of Fa lure ever Occurs. Upwards of a Hundred Physicians use them ex tensively in their private practice, and they can not effect cures without them. BELL'S SPECIFIC PILLS. Are the original and only genuine Specific Pill There are a host oi imitators—BEWAßE OF Til EM THESE ARE WARRANTED. They are adapted for male or female, old or young, and are the only reliable remedy known for the cure ol all diseases arising from YOUTHFUL INDISCRETION. In all sexual Diseases, as Gonorrhea, Stricture, Gleet, and in all Urinary and Kidney eomplaiuts, THEY ACT LIKE A CHARM. Relief is experienced by taking a single box ; and from four to six boxes generally effect a cure- SOLI) B\ DRUGGISTS GENERALLY, in boxes containing six pills, price 81. or six boxes $5 ; also iu larg- boxes, c-outairing four of the small, price 83 It you need the Book or the Pills, cut out this advertisement for reference, and if you cannot pro cure them of your druggist, do not be imposed on by any otner remedy, but enclose the money in a to tin, nninriei' DR. J. ERiA.y, HO. Y 5079, 442 BROADWAY. N. Y. who will take all risk if properly directed, and will sen.l the Pills, secured from observation, by return mail, p st Paid. SOLD L Y DR UGGISTS GENERALL Y. ni boxes containing S.xty pills. DUMAS BARNES A CO., NEW York, Wholesale Agents. IMPORTANT TO LADIES. The Private Medical Adviser. An invaluable treatise of 64 pages, by DR. JOHN HARVEY. published for the benefit of the sex. On receipt of TEN CENTS, it will be sent post paid, ira sealed envelope to all who apply for it. It gives a concise description of all the diseaseses peculiar to females, together with means of cure, | and treats of Conception, Pregnacy , Miscarriage, Sterility, Sexual Abuses, Prolapsus Uteri, Fe male Weakness, Consumption, \c.. and much othar valuable information not published in any other work. Every lady should procure a copy without delay. Three Editions, 50,000 each, | have already been published & distributed this year m a aril bbbbib^ the most infallible and popular remedy ever known for all diseases of the female sex. They have been used in m iny thousand cases with unfailing success —and may be reiied on in everp case for which they are recommended, and particularly in all cases aris ing from OBSTRUCTION, OR STOPPAGE OF NATURE, no matter from what cause it arises. Tbey are ef fectual in restoring to health all who are suffering from WcaAmess and Debility, Uterine Discharges. Nerrousncss , tj-c-, and they ACT LIKE A CIIA R M ! in strengthening and restoring the system. Thous ands ot ladies who have suffered for years and tried various other remedies in vain, owe a renewal of their health and strength wholly to the efficacy of DR. EAR VE Y'S FEMALE PILLS. They are not a new discovery but a long tried rem edy—the celebrated I)K, JOHN HAKVEX, one of the most eminent physicians, prescribed thorn for many years in his private practice, and no phy sician was more truly popular or widely known than hsrn in the treatment cf FEMALE DIFFICULTIES All who have used Dr, Harvey's Female Pills recommend them to others. Nurses recommend them— Druggists and Dealers recommend them in preference to other medicines,because of their merits No lady objects to take them for tbey are elegantly PKKPAKED BY AN EXPERIENCED CHEMIST They ar perfectly harmless on the system, may be taken at any time with perfect safety ; but dur ing the early stages of Pregnancy they should not be taken, or a miscarriage may be the result. — They never cause any sickness, pain or distress. Each box contains sixty pills and full directions for use. Price One Dollar. Cut this notice out if you desire Dr. liar- I j rei/s Pills or Book, and if you cannot procure them of your druggists, do not take any other for some dealers who are unprincipled will recomend other Female Pills, they can make a larger projit an—but enclose the money and send direct to Dr. J. BY RAN, General Agent, Bo x 5079 . 442 BROADWAY. N. Y. Who will take all risk if properly directed ; and you will receive them post paid, securely scaled from observation, by return mail SOLD BY DRV ■ 71 EI'ERALLY. DEMAS BAllNi-S L CO., NEW York, Wholesale Ag*n v4D 29 j "TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RlGHT.—Thomas Jefferson. TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 26, 1866. DICK'S INFATUATION. BY MISB A. L. MUZZF.T. "You are beside yourself, Dick," I said, as entering our private sitting-room late one morning, I caught him covertly kissing a withered knot of violets which bore a suspi cious resemblance to those adorning the cor sage of dainty Laura Miller the previous ev ening. "What do you mean by that remark, Miss Caustic?" he asKed, hurriedly thrusting the love-token out of sight, and takiDg up a late Review to cover his confusion. "You are making a fool of yonrself, Dick," I ssid unequivocally My brother recovered his dignity in a trice, "There is some redeeming grace, I suppose, in having a strong-minded Bister who never indulges in such pastimes," he answered, drily. "Exactly; and still more in having the ability to appreciate said sister's admirable qualities. But now, in sober earnest, Dick, I warn you that Laura Miller"— I paused in astonishment at the fiery flush that suffused his handsome face as I sjtoke that magic name. Who would have believed that my stately, self-possessed brother could have blushed like a very school-girl at men tion of her first love ? "Laura Miller is an unmitigated coquette," I concluded, emphatically. '■By what authority do you make such an assertion ?" he asked, in an offended tone. "By the authority of my sense, and, if that is not sufficient, by the universal consent of her dupes and victims. If you doubt file truth my opinions, goto them for a de* cision of the matter." "I shall do nothing of the kind. lam per- R-ctly satisfied to trust my own judgment in (he case. Ido not consider Miss Miller's rejection of numerous suitors a proof of her beanltssness, but on the contrary, I think it a testimonial of her superior truthfulness and integrity in not bestowing her hand where -he could not give her heart." "Nonsense ! No one could wish her to do that. But she leads her admirers to be tieve the former engaged before the lattct is - >licited " "1 don't belßve it. Vanity may have so niseoustrued her. but I am confident that '>e never purpo>ely encouraged the attention •f u man she coutd not love. A more guile less being never existed. I know that she is not a favorite with the majority of her own sex. They imagine her (rans, simple, artless manner mere affectation, because they have not themselves that purity of heart which prompts her every action. But I long ago learned to put no faith whatever in oue wo man's opinions regarding another. 1 never yet knew her to give a fair and impartial judgment in the case. Good morning !" And brother Dick threw down the Review which he had made the pretence of reading, and with a very cold bow walked straight of the room. Ileigho ! Was there ever a man who liked to be told he was mistaken in his views up on any subject, more especially if the sub jeet happened to be a woman ? Thereafter Dick devoted himself more as sidously than ever to Laura Miller. In hr presence, he was absent to all others. To speak the truth, she was as perfectly irrestst ible and fascinating a creature as I ever met with, and might have deceived the very elect by one of her bewitching glances, and half a dozen of her melting words. I should not so much havo wondered at Dick's entanglement if he had not known her reputation for coquetry, and if he had not also been a silent looker on, while other noble hearts, lured by deceitful favor, were being offered np to her insatiate vanity And now that his time has come, and the fair, bewildering will o'-the-wisp had flick ered her treacherous light across his way he followed eagerly, surrendering himself wholly to her guidance yet in his foolish simplicity fondly cheating himself that he was the wooer, and not the wooed— the cap tor and not tho captured. But perhaps, after ail, this was not sur prising either, for the skillful little lady nev er condacted two campaigns alike,—by some peculiarity of treatment impressing her dupe that he was without precedent in her re gards,—=o tha tihe lady always fancied him self the favored man. T think she must have thoroughly studied the heart she proposed to carry captive before laying her plans for a Beige, and varied her tactics accordingly, be ing grave, dignified, and sedate with one ; gay, piquant, charming with a second ; pen sive, tender, and sentimental with a third 5 learned, wi'ty, brilliant with a fourth, and so on indefinitely, like St. Paul, making her self "all things to all men," though with a different purpose, and wholly irresistible iu every phaze. With Dick, she was timid, childlike, and confiding, deferring sweetly to his opinion on every occasion, looking at him with wor shipful eyes, and listening with the most profound attention when be spoke. She would meet his love-confessing glances with a frank open gaze, (as ingenius as 'a little child's ; then, as his tender meaning seemed slowly to dawn upon her, the blushes would surge over her beautiful face, and dye even her pearly neck with their crimson stain, and her eyes would fall, and her head droop in the prettiest confusion imaginable, while poor, bewtldere 1 Dick looked on as if he thought her the most delicious, enchanting, bewitching, enrapturing, seraphic creature that was ever named woman. It was at a party given oy an intimate friend near the last of the season, that, grow ing weary of the glare, the music, the danc ing, and the feasting, I stole away unnoticed to a familiar reading-room, situated in a dis tant wing of the house, and curling up iD a luxurious chair that stood in the curtained recess of one of its windows, surrendered myself to tho enjoyment of a few brief mo ments of quiet and repose. But my selfish pleasure was of short duration, for I pres ently heard the sound of approaching feet, and a murmur of voices which I instantly recognized as those of Dick and Laura. My first impulse was to retreat and leave them to the solitude they were in)6earch of; but on reflection I resolved to hold my place, justi fying myself in the thought that I was not an intentional eavesdropper, though 1 must own to a womanly curiosity as to the man ner in which Laura would receive tb; con fession which some instinct told me was about to be made. Tbey sauntered slowly into the room, con versing in low, tender, confiding tones, and brushing past me, sat. down upon a tete a tete in such close proximity to my shadowy hiding place, that 1 must have been discov ered but for their entire absorption in them selves. They had been more engrossed in each other than ever that evening, if such a thing were really possible. Every one was re marking upon their wrapt devotion, and meaning smiles were interchanged by those who had good reason for knowing how the affair would end. 1 could see in the dim light that Dick's eloquent face was all aglow with passionate tenderness, as he bent low over his timid and expectant companion, and his deep mu sical voice vibrated with iutcßse feeling as he told his love in brave, honest, manly woiilo | wutic JLittui auiia Mtjvu t'luoui&ib and trembling, yielded little by little to his clasping arm, until her siren face lay against his breast, flushed and burnin-j with his idol atrous kisses. Then hurriedly starting from his embrace ,as if suddenly smitten with a sense of the impropriety of the whole pro ceeding, she exclaimed, in tones of conster nation and displeasure— "Mr, Harrington, what do you mean 7" "1 love you, Laura," he said, seeking to draw hor again to his bosom. "But you mustn't—indeed you must not !*' she cried, shrinking slightly away. "I I love—the fact is," she continued, with lu dicrous distress, I'm engaged, Mr. Ilarring ton." "Laura!" "Yes. J supposed you were acquainted with the truth. I'm sure I never dreamed that you felt other than a brotherly regard for me." "Laura !" "Please don't look at me in that way, Mr Harrington. 1 really had no thought you cared for me, excepting in a hum drum, stu pid brotherly fashion, you know." "It has not needed to-night's confession to assure you of my love, Laura. You have known it long, and you never repulsed ine." Hypocrite and dissembler as she was, she could not look in his grove, truthful face and deny his words, and 6lie sat awkwardly twirl ing her fau, until no longer able to endure his 6tern, silent regaad, she pouted her red lips prettily, and said, half petulantly— "Come, Come, Mr. llarrington £ do put off that woful visage, and take me back to the drawing-room. People will begin to remark our absence." He smMcd a little contemptuously, think ing. no doubt, of the many times she had lin gered apart with him, untroubled by any such scruples. "You have added another to your list conquests," he raid slowly, "but you have lost in womonly dignity and honor infinitely more than you have gained, 1 feel more of shame or you this moment than I do of sor row for the frustration of my own late hopes, for since you have given me this revelation of yourself I cannot sufficiently express my grat itt.de for your rejection of my suit. I pity you, Laura Miller, from my soul I pity you for the misarable, petty ends for which you live " He rose and rravely offered her his arm, which she. with Rteadily averted face, silent ly accepted, and they passed out of the room, in appearance as little like the pair that had entered there a half hour before as could well be imagined. "Dids't thou clasp a fair woman, Ludwig, Lud- And find her an Elle-mnid gay 1" 1 quoted, as Dick and I Rat toeetber the next day, he looking wretched and crestfallen ' like a man newly convicted of his errors. ' He gave uie a quick, 6tartled penetrating glance. I crossed the space between us, and sat down on the ottoman at his feet. ''Dick," I confessed, 'T was concealed be hind the cartains in the reading-room last night when you entered with Miss Miller, and as 1 couldn't think of yielding my com fortable position, and was minus any cotton to put in my ears, 1 had the pleasure of lis tening to your proposal to that 'guileless be ing,' and of witnessing the 'frank, simple, artless manner' in which she received the same." The blood mounted in a crimson tide to his face, and for a moment he seemed half inclined to be angry. "It was a pretty farce, was it not?" he asked, recovering. "Very pretty; 1 especially admired the winding np of the 6cene." "Don't you feel triumphant ?" he asked presently. "1 ? why should 1. Dick ?" "Why don't you say, woman fashion—T told you so ?" "Now, D'ck, don't show your weakness by beginning to jibe at our sex. 1 would so gladly confess the error of my judgment in the case of Miss Miller if the truth of yours could theieby be established." "1 cannjt, unfortunately. It is a matter of ever increasing wonder to me how 1 could have been so utterly blinded," he added, af ter a long pause. "1 can see nothing to enchant me now in her who did entice me. 1 atn like recovering from a fit of in toxication—peifectly loathing the cause winch led to degrade me, and full of self abhorance that 1 could be so weakly seduced.' Au Affecting Scene at the White House. Efforts were made during all of Thursday night, bv counsel and friends to secure a re prieve for Mrs. Suratt, but President John son declined to tnteifere. About half past 8 o'clock, Friday morning, Miss Suratt accom panied by a female friend, visited the Whitc llouse, having been there last evening for the purpose of obtaining an interview with the President. President Johnson having given orders that he would receive no one that day, the doorkeeper stopped Miss Sarat at the foot of the steps leading up to the President's office, and would not permit her to proceed further. She then asked permis sion to see General Muzzy, the President's Military Secretary, who promptly answerer! the summons and came down stairs where Miss Suratt was standing. As soon as the General made his appearance Miss Suratt threw herself upon her knees before him,and catching him by the coat, with loud sobs and streaming eyes, implored him to assist her in obtaining a hearmg with the President General Muzzy in a tender manner informed Miss that he could not comply with her request, as President Johnson's orders were imperative that he should re ceive no one. Upon General Muzzy return ing to his office, Miss S. threw herself upon the stairs, where she remained a considers ble length of time sobbing aloud in the great est anguish, protesting her mother's inno cence, and imploring every one who came near her to intercede in her mother's behalf. While thus weeping she declared her mother was too good and kind to be guiltv of the enormous crime of which she was convicted, and asserted that ifher mother was put to death r.he wished to die also. The scene was heart-rending, and many of those who witnessed it, including a number of hardy soldiers, were moved to tears. Miss S. hav ing become quieted, gave vent to her feelings in silent tears, and was finally persuaded to take a seat in the East Room, where she remained for several hours, jumping up from her seat each time the front door of the mansion was opened, evidently in hopes of seeing some one enter who could be of ser vice to her in obtaining the desired interview with the President, or that they were beir ers of good news to her. Two of Harrold's sisters, dressed in full mourning and heavily veiled, made their appearanoe at the White House shortly after Miss Suratt, for the pur pose of interceding with the President in be half of their brother. Failing to see the President, they addressed a note to Mrs. Johnson and expressed a hope that she wo'd not turn a deaf ear to their pleadings. Mrs. Johnson being quite sick it was deemed ex pedient by the ushers not to deliver the note, when, as a last expedient, the ladies asked permission to forward a note to Mrs. Patter son,'he President's daughter, which privil ege was not granted, as Mrs. P. was also quite indisposed.— Correspondent Boston j Times. The Rev. Robert. Hall, disgusted by the egotism and conceit of a preacher, who, with a mixture of self-complacency and im-' pudence, challenged his admiration of a ser mon, was provoked to say ; "Yea, there was one very fine passage of your discourse, sir.' "1 am rejoiced to hear ynu say so—which was it Why'sir, it was the passage fjom tho pulpit into the vestry." <t ii Jitß: <•. .■ car An Irish painter advertises in Eng aod a picture of Death as large as life. —j The talk of women is generally about the men. Even their laugh is but' he !he ! TiEiiMa 02.00 PBR Amroai CORRY O'LANVS AT THE OIL GIONS, I have reached the land of oil, having to* ken a safer route than the Erie. Pennsylvania is a good sized State but it takes some lime to get there. When you do get here you wish you had not come. There is plenty of oil—and that is all ex cept lots of people. lam for ''Snake Run," the most likliett place for oi 1. They call these places runs because every person who is after oil runs here. Every man you meet is a president, direct or or and engineer of a petroleum company. The natives, who are white people resets* ble country folks, live by selling land to greenhorns. They have a system in both transactions. They double the price of land every morn ing. If you know anybody who has got a couple of vacant lots that he wants to sell tell him to briDg them out here. The folks arc so busy looking for oil they havn't time to build honses, and every body is afraid to put up a house for fear he might cover an ile well. Consequently the hotels are a little crowd ed. The Muggins house where I put up is much so. Muggins the proprietor, is the most accom modating man you ever saw. A city railroad conductor isn't a circumstance to him. He has only got six beds in the house but he is always ready to take in everybody. lie took me in. Also two hundred more petroleum pi I. gritns. The sleeping accommodations are various. We go to bed on pautaloons* W lien the first pantaloons get asleep they are carefully taken est and hung on a close* line. The second pantaloons go through the same process, until everybody is provided for. Preferring to sleep alone, I slept 011 the mantle piece with the coal scuttle for a pil* low. As I observed land is precious out here. I boughi a lot ten inches by four, for ten hundred thousand dollars, and commonced operations. The next thing is tn onm m"ni hnrinir. Ton want a sharp bore. A public lecture won't do. neither will a skating gimblet. I took a orace and bit and went in. Got down about seven thousand feet into the bowels of the land, when I came to an impediment. Found that I had struck a Pre-adamite rock of ossified strata of the Silurian forma tion. That is geology, aDd you perhaps won't understand it, but I will explain It all in tbo paper to the Historical Society I am about writißg. Got a candle and went down to see about it- Found a big Megathereum about six hnn dred feet long, and nine wide, in a capital state of preservation. 1 got him and will send him along, by ex press. Went on boring through forty feet of sand stone. There encountered a strange smell of snl pher, which alarmed the native who sold me the land, and to ease his conscience gave back the money, and wanted me to stop bor ing. Told him 1 was bound to keep on until 1 struck ile, or come to the other side of crea tion. Bored on. Went through t about sixty thousand feet more, when suddenly the brace and bit went in, and there was a report like that made by Butler's powder boat thai didn't blow up Ft Fisher. Things were slightly confused for a time.— A section of Pennsylvania went up, and 1 went up with it. 1 guess I must have come down again, and the next idea I had was finch ing myself comfortable, hung over the close line at Muggins Hotel. An investigation into the matter showed; that I had struck into a gas factory in and killed half a million of Chinese. Th casualties on our side were confined, to* one native and a small dog. I havn't given up yet. The folits here are very encouraging : they will stick to a man as long as ho has a cant left, and I never knew Muggins to turn a. man out of his hotel to pay his bill. A kind-hearted chap offered me another piece of land, the size of a stove plate, withia a mile and a half of a seven hundred barrel well, for the reasonable figure of half a mil* lion and two thirds of the oil, 1 had concluded that boring for oil is nob so profitable as bleedirg the public. 1 shall start an oil company on more lib eral terms than any yet offered 1 shall be prepared to guarantee anything. The capi tal will be a million of dollars, divided iota two million shares, at fifty cents each. Dividends of two hundred per oent. wiH be paid weekly, in addition to wbicb each subscriber will have a season ticket for Lani gan's Ball, a new hat, a farm near La Oroaap, and a ton of coal at market price. The "Scaly Run" Petroleum Company will be the biggest thing in oil In the market, 1 am going to arrange the business as aeon as mv friends send me the money to pay my wav back. 1 am yours oileaginiously. Coaav O'LANVS. VOL. 4 NO. 49
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers