THE FULTON COUNTY NEWS, McCONNELLSBURG, PA. Messages From f the Cross Br REV. CEORCE E. CUIU.E gJ Tachn, Eimaioa Department. MonJf Bibb latum CLtcto TFXT-Antl Ihey cruclflid lilm. Malt. r.s.' So one ran read this Rtory without being Hi ruck by the artless manner in which It Is told. The writer, if left to his own wis dom, would have filled page after page, omitting no detail and adding imposing imagery of every kind to heighten the ef fect. The Spirit of God Is the nar rator of theso events and in them he is tell ing the story which, however Blow men may bo to hoar, he moot delight h to tell. And thus be has writ ten down, as a part of Holy Scripture, certain things that transpired, that, wherever the story of the cross rtiould be told, these things must be told In connection therewith. bet us look at three of these. The Place. First, then, the place of the crucifix ion will speak to us. "And when thry wore come unto a place called Golgotha, that is to say, the pluce of a skull." There, at the "place of i skull" the utter wreck 'of human Tlnloni, did they put to death the 'Wisdom of God." "For of him are tp in Christ Jesus, who has made unto us wisdom from God." The world boasts of its wisdom to day, boasts of the achievements of tclenre and philosophy, but for the most real problems sin and death, It hat found no solution, nor has It tauplit us anything about God. "The world by wisdom knew not Ood." "And the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness." Herein li the offense of the cross, that It sots aside all of man's wisdom forever, as ell as all his glory. The Greeks were wisdom worshipers, but at Corinth the apostle would know nothing "Bave Jesus Christ and him crucified," tho rross in all its marvelous attractive aesfl for hearts enlightened from alwve. In all tys intolerable, repulsive wsb for unrepvnerate men. Modern rationalism despises the cross, but the hamblest believer in it has found it to be what the apostle declares, "The power of God and the wisdom of Cod." The Crown of Thorns. The Inst king of David's line to be frowned at Jerusalem is crowned with thorns. In derision they crown him, bet the Spirit of God writes It down, fir that crown symbolizes the curso hlch he has come to put away. In Genesis 3 we read of the curse pro nounced upon creation because of man's sin: "Cursed la the ground for thy fake . . , thorns " also and tkistles shall It bring forth unto thee." Thorns, then, have become the em blem of the curse of sin, and now we fee them on the Savior's brow. "In lorrow." goes on the pronouncement, "halt thou eat of It," but the One ho wears the crown of thorns Is the "Man of Sorrows," saying, as he goes to the cross, "Now Is my soul exceed In? sorrowful, even unto death." "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread." and of him who hangs on the "oss It is written, "His sweat was u It were great drops of blood falling torn him." So the Wiorns are telling what he is made for us: "Christ twh delivered us from the curse of law, being made a curse for c. as It Is written, cursed Is every ne that han'geth on a tree." "Made curse:" How simple to utter the "wds; how unutterable the depth of' ""eir meaning! The Supernatural Darkness. "The darkness sought his woes to Ne," is a beautiful hymn which somo taes wo sing, but It does not explain t awful darkness. That "darkness 0v'r all the land" Is witness that God. " Is light, has withdrawn- his pres from it scene lnwhlch he can tovc no pan. And it"was a faint out ard expression of a deeper darkness "t pressed upon the Savior's soul. "d thus his own cry interprets It: Ood, my God, why hast thou wsaken me?" And there is no an j'r from God. Where shall we find answer to that cry of forsaken rrow? Ave have but to turn to the 'fenty-second Psalm, from which it Puoted, and there we shall find the Ho'y Sufferer answering his own ques ll0". "Thou art holy, oh, thou who nhabitopt the praises of Israel." God 11 holy and he turns away. "Thou of purer eyes than to bohora" In " and canst not look upon sin." fl upon the sinless One? Yes, yours uid mine! fist in the darkness, Christ for ken of God is Christ "made sin." H hath made him to be sin for ' And this was his anguish. To J'lvary they take him, as unfit to J Within the holy city. "For the of those beasts whose blood Is 'eht into the sanctuary by the J! Priest for sin, are burned with- ' the camp. Wherefore Jesus also, "jt he might sanct'.ry the oeoul with ' n blood, suffered without the ,e' Christ on Calvary, Christ '"andoned, Is the true sin offering. The darkness, expressing God's In holiness, is a terrible warning ' "len. if ood would turn away from own btloved Son, the Sinless One, aiise sin was laid upon him, what iri v6 do wlth the 8,nnfir whose sins his own by nature and practice . e" be stands before him, as stand '0rehim he surely will? ill. Dmy God holp thos0 wh0 hoar "Id story of the cross to cry out lo"'he apostle, "The Son of God tor n 6 and 8,78 hlm8elf for me," l ' " that belleveth on the Son H1 everlasting- life." i f I pt ' toMlONAL SUNMSOIOOL Lesson (Bv O. E HKIXKK8, Acting Director of tli Hunilny Hrhool coiime ut tliu Moody HHihi institute.) LESSON FOR AUGUST 22 ASA'S GOOD REIGN. LESSON TEXT-II Citron. 13::1-15. QOI. DEN TEXT Draw nigh to (1ml and no will uruw nigh to you. Jann-a 4:8. Skoptlcs who formerly laughed at the record of II Chron. 14:9 or at the reputed size of Xerxes' army are pain fully silent In the face of the present European struggle where armies are reckoned by the millions. Abljah, He- hoboam's successor, easily defeated Jeroboam (ch. 13:13-20) because ho "relied upon the Lord,"' and "Asa his son reigned in his stead." I. Righteousness Exhorted, vv, 1-7. Returning from his wonderful victory over Zerah the Ethiopian, Asa is met by the spirit-anointed prophet, Azarluh (v, 1). This man was taken posses sion of by the spirit of God (II Pet 1:21; Num. 21:2; Judges 3:10: II Tim 3:1C). Thus It was that he commands even the king, "Hear ye me"" (v. 2) His first words were encouraging ones, "Jehovah is with you," and tho proof of his word was the victory Asa bad Just won, (:h. 32:8; Rom. 8:31: Deut. 20:1). That victory was a dem onstration, it involved an obligation and had a lesson for the king as well, viz., that If he and his people would seek Jehovah they would find him, but if they forsook him "he will forsake you." The words recorded In verse three were a fearful indictment ("with out the true God," Eph. 2:12) and they are a suggestive picture of this age that Is bo sadly in need or a "teaching priest" and is so constantly acting as though "without law" or cine is a luw unto itself. Hut God was merciful (Ps. 103:8; 117:2), and in that time of testing was working bis good will. Thus It came that "in their great trouble" (v. 4) they sought Jehovah and "he was found of them Negloctlne him there was "uo peace," and "great vexations" also (Isa. 48: 22) Our Ird has prophesied even greater calamities in the last .days of Israel's apostasy (Matt. 24:6, 7) and the pres ent upheaval in Europe can be large' ly traced to apostasy and to the treat' ment of God's people Israel. God will remember his covenant (Deut. 4:29-31; Judges 10:10-10; Ps. 106:44, lios. 14:1-3) even though Israel has forgot ten him and has "no peace" anywhere upon the earth. All of this came from the hand of God (v. 6; Judges 2:4; Isa. 10:6) and was an exhortation (v. 7) that Asa should remember and that he should work as well. We, too arc taught to "desplHe not prophesy, ing (I Thess. 5:20) and to work," (John 6:2S; Phil. 2:12; Matt. 21:2S; II Thess. 3: 10). At the same time there is for us a sure reward (v. 7; Matt 10:41, 42; I Cor. 15:68; Col. 3:24; Heb. 6:10; 10:35). II. Righteousness Executed, vv. 8-15. (1) The King's Part, vv. 8, 9. Asa hud shown himself worthy of this spe cial revelation from God: (a) his con duct (14:2, 3, 5); (b) his words of command and exhortation (14:4); (c) his care for and service in be half of others (14 : CO) ; (d) bis reliance upon and zeal of God (14:11). Verse eight is suggestive of the way he re ceived this revelation; (a) he "took courage" a word of commendation will revive any weary heart, (b) He "put away the abominations," most thoroughly, which his great-grandfather Solomon bad brought into Israel, and In accordance with the word of God (Deut. 7:5). There are many strange altars In our land today, forms of religion that stand not the test of God's word and which not alone deceive the very elect but are sweep ing into their vortex the sons and daughters of the saints of God. Any thing, no matter how esthetic or moral ly elevating or professedly religious, that measures not according to this word, should be torn down, (c) Hut Asa was constructive as well as de structive for he built again "the altar of Jehovah." "Tis Bad to think that so many homes and communities de mand such a work in tbclr midst to day. 2. The People's Part, vv. 10-15. (a) They obeyed and gathered together at Jerusalem, at the proper time and the place, (b) They "offered sacrifice unto the Lord." Heretofore their of ferings had been to their selfishness or to strange gods. Their gift was a costly one and the Lord's treasury is always a standard whereby to meas ure .the work of grace lu the hearts of his people, (c) They made another covenant "to seek the Lord." (Ps. 105:3, 4; Amos 5:4, 6). Those who aeek him find h'"i (Ps. 14:2). To seek blm is pleasing to him, but it must be as theirs, "with all their soul." We find God in Christ (John 14:6; I John 5:20). Whosoever sought him not were punished, even so will those be who now turn from him (John 16:8, 9; Matt. 25). (d) They gave publlo testimony of their determination (v. 14). Loud protestations are not al ways permanent, still there must be an open confession (Rom. 10:9, 10; Matt. 10:32). Their confession was accompanied by music. There Is no joy like that which comes with a new faith, a new sense of God's love, a real revival.' (e) Lastly, the people found "rest" or rather It was "given" to them. In verse five there was "no peace"; now, after having earnestly sought him (v. 15), "a rest was given" which they had not been able to find. This is ready for all who truly, seek hlra (Judges 3:9; Matt. 11:28, 29). Conclusion. Though Asa had a parental handicap (I Kings 15:13) and lived In a corrupt court still he yielded to the teaching of God's word and therefore wrought a great refor mation. Recognizing the source of power In his own life Asa taught the people the word of God, to seek God and to keep his commandments. Asa's reformation was In reality a religious revival and such is the only kind that has any permanency. Varied Designs jrUj sn wm V' 1 llff XiA'-"' V ., TV -V. .v- W i t- - . -it: When one watches the dancers at the dinner or club dance it is hard to decide upon the most attractive gown or to pronounce judgment that will not straightway be contradicted. Dance frocks are so varied In design that this variety adds a Treasure to those already falling to toe lot of the onlooker. But certain of the styles possess unusual fascination. Among them the gowns made of lace or net flounces over underskirts of silk never fail of admiration. In nearly all dancing gowns the waist lino is high, the bodice very simple, and the arms unccered. nut not all the pretty frocks are sleeveless. A flowered chiffon, made with a flaring Bkirt, is worn with a taffeta bodice having a square neck and elbow sleeves. These are finished with wide lace frills. The bodice ends cross at the front In surplice fashion and fasten at the sides under rosettes. The bodice is extended Into a point at I'.io front, reaching below the waist line, and needs no girdle to bo worn with it. Points are not tp be lost sight of In any of this season's apparel. An other effective drens has a plain bodice of lace with long sleeves ter New Breakfast Usually boudoir caps are fascinating little headdresses made of lace and trimmed with ribbon or other little coquetries of decoration. Here are some of the new oaes made of ribbons and trimmed with other ribbons or with lace. This reversal of the usual order of things has resulted In caps that have lost nothing In beauty. The;' have just one advantage over the lace caps they cover up certain little sins of omission in the matter of hair dressing. Thus they Ingratiate them selves with tho fair wearer who hesi tates in choosing between the cap of ribbon and the cap of lace. All the light colors in satin mes sallne and other lightweight, high:lus- ter ribbons are used to make these lovely accessories of dress, but Just now rose pink and pale yellow are hav ing a remarkable vogue. Some people can't wear either of them, and many designs are made up in light blue, a few in heliotrope and in cream white and an occasional one In pale green. Almost everyone can wear certain shades' or tints of blue, and people who have never experimented with yellow may discover its becoming- neBS. A wide roae-pink ribbon Is used for the' cap at the right. It Is shaped to the head by means of shirred pin tucks. The first row 1b run in about Notes and Notions. A linen cushion cover could be very Quickly embroidered in white wash silk or flax thread with insertions in cluny lace added. Should a touch of color be desired, the cover might be drawn on over a colored cushion, which would show through the lace. Where a strong color effect Is desired, the cover might be of cornflower-blue linen, with nut-brown silks for the embroid ery, the cluny lace being In a deep tone of twine color, or It might be In let tuce green with white embroidery. in Dance Frocks m:2 H 't- i, -Tl r. V ..WJfefc-k.. i minating In small points over the hand. The lace Is repeated In the skirt In a pointed yoke, to which a flounce of muslin Is set. Following the outlines of the yoke this flounce forms a point at the back and front. Two similar flounces below It are set on to a foundation skirt, and they also form a point at back and front. The fourth flounce is set to the bottom of the underskirt, which is cut with a decided flare. The flounces emphasize the skirt's flare, and thin materials like organdie look wonderfully pretty made In this way. A good and simple model for a dance frock Is shown in the picture. It is made of messallne satin and ad justed to the waist with shlrrings over cable cord. The bodice Is of chiffon and velvet. Nothing looks as well with the dance frock as a lace petti coat as fluffy and dainty as it is pos sible to make it. Attractive Dress. Make the bodice of your crepe de chine dress of flowered design and the Bkirt of the plain, then trim the bot tom of the skirt with the flowered ma terial and you will have a most at tractive dress. Caps of Ribbon two lncbes from the edge to form the ruffle about the face. At a distance of less than an Inch a group of three Is run in and a second group of four (the last row on the edge of the rib bon) draws It up to form the crown. This cap Is trimmed with narrow black velvet ribbon, which In turn la ornamented with tiny ribbon flowers, sewed flat to its Burface. The cap at the left Is a familiar de sign of lace and ribbon. It is made in pale yellow with cream-colored lace. Over tho bow at the front a cluBter of miniature apples, made of ribbon, in yellow, coral pink and light blue, takes tho place of the usual little flow ers, with strikingly good and original effect. JULIA BOTTOMLEY. Silk Suits. There are many women who, when appearing upon the street in the day time, must have a coat Butt In order to feel well dressed. Of course, the cloth suit is too warm when the ther mometer soars high, so a substitute must be provided. It is for this reason that the silk suits have been launched forth so profusely. Shantung, pongee and faille are the favored materials for these suits, and in some cases the silk is combined with cloth not enough to add warmth, but Just sufficient to make a novel and stunning suit The most approved style of edge Is a band of Its own material cut on the bias. " Place a thick sheet of cotton wading under the cover which you have embroidered. Both the appear ance and the feel of the cushion are Improved by this treatment. Balm for Little Women. The fine Uttle woman who weighs only one hundred pounds can thank her stars that she Is on earth. If she resided on Mars she would weigh only thirty-eight. Galveston Newt. TAKING 'iY FROM DAMN DOES NOT TAKE THE CURSE OFF BY ANY MEANS. When One Doesn't Care a Well, Even "Tinker's Dam" Is Bad Language to Say the Best About It. A contributor to the Sun grieves over the Ignorance of those who as sume that "tinker's dam" Is a "pro fane expression." A tinker's dam, says he, was a chunk of dough or bat ter used before the days of muriatic acid to keep the solder from spread ing; and as the solder commonly did spread nevertheless, the tinker's dam was as nearly worthless as the com mon expression of dlsesteem for it Implies. He differentiates it from the common or garden damn and says: "There Is no profanity about It" But not to care a tinker's dam Is just as profane as not to care a maver ick damn, unbranded with ownership by tinkers or others. Taking the "n" out of damn does not tuko the curse off. If it Is profane not to care a damn, it is just as profane not to care a whiffer, a Jabberwock, a goop, or any other illegitimate and unsanctioned word. When one stentorlously enun ciates his refusal to appraise tho ar ticlo under discussion at the value of a damn, he -is not Bwcarlng or curs ing; ho Is literally using bad language, for, in the sense he means, there Is no such noun as damn. We know what a tinker's dnm Is, but what Is a damn? When one says he does not care a whoop, he is far more definite, for there Is such a thing as a whoop. Whence arose the Idea that not caring a damn was being profane, and why do persons who do not care one plume themselves on their devlllshness? It is not profane, but It has the sound of being profane, and that Is all that is needed. An individual who would not for the world have used blasphemous language used to relieve his feelings by pronouncing the name of one of Wagner's operas in a tone that caused neighboring windows to full In, and "Gotterdamtnerutig" gave him as much satisfaction as If he bad violated a commandment. And who was the man who always swore by Charles G. D. Roberts and Josephine Dodp Daskam because they sounded o proline? There is an excellent Methodist In this town who severely reprehends profanity whenever he hears it. but who produces all the ef feet of shocking blasphemy by the im bittered emphasis he lays on the ex claniatlftn, "For government's sake!" Colonel Roosevelt plumes himself on his abstinence from profanity, but none of the unregenerate ever got such satisfaction out of a real cuss word as he does out of "Uy Godfrey No, tinker's dam belongs In the com fort-giving galaxy of profane refuges for the emotions; and that is the worst you can say of the other damn New York Times. Mysterious Zones of Silence. A meteorologist of Zurish, Dr. A. de Quervan, directs attention to a new theory which he calls a zone of si lence. Ho says that strong noises like explosions or the sound of cannons, while heard In a normal way in their immediate neighborhood, are not heard In a distant zone even when most In tense. It is now known as a historical fact that Frederick the Great on August 17, 17G0, won the battle of Llegnltz be cause the Austrian generals Daun and Lasen asserted that they had not heard tho sound of cannons. It was sup posed at that time that the statement of the Austrian commanders was an untruth, but It Is now believed that a zone of silence existed. Similar phenomena have been observed recent ly. In 1908, when the Jungfrau rail road was being built In Switzerland fearful detonation took place, caused by the explosion of 23,000 kilograms of dynamite. The noise was heard at a distance of 30 kilometers, but not at 140 kilometers. Strange to say, how ever, the noise was hoard GO kilometers from the last named zone. 'The Bible In Russia. Tho holy synod at IVtroerad has been busily engaged In tho work of producing popular editions -of tho Bible. These are bolne widelv dis tributed by the Orthodox church among soldiers on the battle field as well as to the sick and wounded. Various Russlun Red Cross aid asso ciations are including Bibles and Testaments In their parcels of "com forts" for troops at the front, and as the available stock of the British and Foreign Bible Boclety has be came exhausted, the holy synod Is undertaking the work of printing fresh editions. Should this wave of enthusiasm for the propagation of the Holy Scriptures prove more than a passing phase we may look for ward to a revival of intelligent re ligious Instruction in Russia. Novel Porch Light A porch lamp of a new type, Just placed on the market, is made to be Installed Inside the building bo that It Is not only protected from the weather, but serves to illuminate the hall or front room as well as the porch. The lamp Is mounted Inside the wall ad jacent to the porch. Part of the light Is diffused through the room, while a part of the horizontal rays are trans mitted through a lV4-lnch tube to a globo mounted on the odtslde of the wall, where, with the aid of a reflector, It Is uniformly distributed over the porch. Popular Mechanics. Enchanted Valparaiso. The night view of Valparaiso from the balconies of the cliff dwellers is one of the great sights of the world. The vast sickle of the shore lit tor nearly two hundred thousand people, the scores of ocean vessels Ivlne at anchor, the harbor lights, the glowing avenues below from which rises mel lowed the roar of nocturnal traffic, the rippling water under the moonlight and the far horizon of the illimitable Pacific produce an effect of enchant ment. Edward EUworth Ross' "South of Panama." Children Cry The Kind Ton Ilare Always in use for orer 30 years, - ana Has Dccn iuado under bis per tonal supervision since Its Infancy. Y, -CtfoAA! Allow no ono to deceive you In thU. All Counterfeits, Imitations and " Just-ns-good " are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of lnlants and Children Experience against lisperlnicnt. What is CASTORIA Castorla Is ft harmless snbstitnto for Castor Oil, Pare goric, Drops and Soothing Byrnps. It Is pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphino nor other Narcotic substance. Its afro Is Its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Fevcrlshness. l or more than thirty years it has been In constant use for tho relief of Constipation. Flatulency, "Wind Colic, all Teething Troubles and Diarrhoea. It rcjrulntes tho Stomach and Uoweln, assimilates the Tood, giving healthy and natural deep. The Children's 1'anacea The Mother's Friend. GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAY pBears the In Use For Over 30 Years The Kind You Have Always Boufiht THt etWTAU COMPANY, NCW VOSIK CfTY. C rfT Both Busy. "Where is Clarence?" "lie's In the house playing jack straws." "And where is Edith?" "1 dunno. She may be out railing the motor boat, and then again, she may be trying out her new aero plane." DISTRESSING PIMPLES Removed by Cuticura Soap and Oint ment. Trial Free. Smear them with the Ointment Wash off in five minutes with Cuti cura Soap and hot water and continuo bathing for some minutes. Repeat on rising and retiring. These fragrant supercreamy emollients do much for the skin, and do it quickly. Sample each free by mall with Book. Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. XY, Boston. Sold everywhere. Adv. Worth Listening To. "Those two men over there are hav ing a warm argument. It must be about the war." "I think not. They are probably dis cussing a subject they know some thing about.". "Why so?" "Half a down pedestrians and the policeman on. this beat seem inter ested In what they are saying." She Needs It. "I hope you won't be angry, dear est," said wlfey as she displayed tier purchases, "hut I simply could not re sist buying this lovely wrap to wear over my bathing suit at the bench." "It's a beauty," admitted her hus band. "Why don't you buy auother one to wear over your street cos tume." To Be Sure. "You seldom hear of a man after he enters prison." "That Isn't surprl? Ing." "No?" "Holng time Is comparatively a noiseless performance." It is calculated that 19.OtiO.nOO tons of carbon, most of it in the form of coal, is the average yearly amount burned In large cities. In novels and on the stape the bully Invariably is whipped. Hut In real life the bully often wins. A close friend is one who won't loud you money. Daily Building To be continually well, calls for food that contains elements that surely build upt the whole system body, nerves and brain. Grape-Nuts -made from whole wheat and malted barley con tains the full nutriment of the grain, including the mineral salts, so essential to balanced re-building. Grape-Nuts, partially predigested, agrees splend idly with child or adult Requires little work from the digestive organs and is quickly absorbed by the oystem, generally in about one hour.' Thousands have found a helping hand in Grape Nuts food There's a Reason' Sold by Grocer. for Fletcher'G Bought, and which has been has homo tho sltrnatare of Signature of PREVENTION" better than cur. Tutt'i PHI. If taken In ttee v. not oolr re medy tor, but will prevent SICK HEADACHE, bfllou con.tlpatloa and k Indred dl.eanM. HUH & LADIES!! USE CILBERT'S JEWEL TALCUM POWDER The Talcum of Qualltf, tor rtlud pwipla; Perfume rich, luting, and ! quisao; i'oitdor of vclreiy ttiieoeu. In Clau Jan-lSc ana 25c buld bf til (ieal.rt. MADS BY GILBERT BROS, A CO. BALTIMORE. MO. i Every Lady ?.; preaerre or regain 'oitthfiil viovr b IinSlHitllN. Heml Jc atamp (or trlnl l,i t.xiHjr. me SAFttM mnr-aii, sunt a ncacil bit., rbuiiclHia, fa. n Ptlnra-Mr M..rA-,nl r a will, to ln an iaihi V I'll. (Ti vi WIUU4 f .UU If ti ll run niak aa. lualif v 40 without fanbrtixuM4 lor Dfit im itrs Atfjrr. iiT(ti. t kjth tMlt M. a, n pialn. rig.nsujr Mitf. tw., au urv-vanaj, new York Liif PATERTSk on R.'ntemnn.Wate ii.l't'. Ikjuknfiv. Mix rclercncm. Ural reauJA W. N. U., BALTIMORE, NO. 34-191i i Office Chatter. "How do you like your job?" asked the Inkwell. "it's dirty work," replied the new blotter. "Still It's rather absorbing." RKMARK AIM K I FTTFR FROM A TntJX KNOWN AMIINi; TON lltt'(i(iT. In reference to l.llxlr Itahi'k thc rmlnmtjy for rhiltt an J fecrnntl nil malarial d'tmatn. "Within the Inst Ave month 1 have lil and hot lle., r i:illlrHMlek.fi.rMHlrl.( hllliin4 Kerer. Our ru.l.impnt en verv well of it, Henry Frn n, B'.'S V St., V.W.. Washington. D C fr.llllr lliihek 5il rent, all ilnu-KiM, or hf TRn-elH Pom, prepaid, from Klocaewakl Cu. VnkuiUBtull, V. C. The Reason. Simpson I wonder how It is IhAt nearly all (he misers we read of are old bachelors? Mrs. Simpson (insinuatingly) Oh, married misers are so common that they are not worth mentioning. Wasn't on the Map. I.lttle l.enruel Say, paw, what state Is Effigy in? Paw Effigy! Why, I don't believe 1 ever heard of such a town, son. Utile Lemuel Well. 1 was Just reading about a man who was hanged In efllgy, and 1 can t find It on the map. Fine Scorn. "Lady," said nodding Pete, "could you spare a hungry man a meal o' victuals?" "You go away from here or I'll call my husband." "Is that there stonp-shouloVred man plowln' corn in the next field your husband?" "Yes. It is." "I take back what I said. I've got a heart in me, I have. If you've got a meal o' victuals for a poor starvin' man, give It to your husband." A Forlorn Hope. "Mr. Comcobble, I dnre say your son has learned a grout many things at college." "Yes. He's lnrnt how ter yell, how ter danco, how ter play football an' basebnll, how ter set In a stiff game of poker, an' has other accomplish ments 1 haven't been able ter classify yet, but I hope ter find among 'em what I'm looking for." "And what Is that?" "Something that will help him ter get more out of an acre of land than I've ever been able ter get" - Longings. A well-know essayist and connois seur of. New fork attended recently an ardstlc tea In Washington square. Near-artists of all sortsi near-poets, near-sculptors, near-painters and near novelists attended the tea. The ladles wp-e djibbahs of green burlap. The ' gentlemen wore sandals. The collation was vegetarian, of course. Looking calmly at that mass of freaks, be said, with a smile: "Artistic longings consist Invariabjy, It seems, of long hair, long teeth and long 'faces everything but long purses, In fact." Pills
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers