EPISODE. Heart with lmtf mt high, Loe h come, but Love pewed by. Faithless Hope hie colore bore; Folly opened wide the door. And he etopped a little apnea, Kre he turned awy hie face. iinxr thou elialt alike repent That he entered, that he went. i The Loss of His c c Bill'i Lon Search Rewarded. A figure of haggard and bewil dered Inebriation came in through the swinglns doors of the Seaman's Glory Saloon, and came to an un steady halt against the bar. "I didn't leave a small tin bucket In here, did I?" the new-comer asked of the bar tender. This officii' 1 cast a bleared eye upon the qiK's' loner, and shook his head. "No, you ain't 'eft no such pall around here, Bill. Maybe It was at the Bowhead?" "I Just came from there," said the other, thickly. "It ain't there. I do wonder now what. I did with them there remains." He threw a flutter ing glance at the bartender, and then dug deep into a pocket. "Lemme have some gin," he continued, more briskly. The barkeeper set the bottle out, and watched his customer Imbibe. As he put the bottle away again, he said: "Maybe you'll find 'em at Smith's. Look there?" "That's so. I may have left them remains right there." He smiled faintly, and wavered on his legs. "By gum, I'll Jest bet that's wheie they are. I'll go see." And with labored rait BUI departed. "Porr chap!" said Twlzzle. "That misfortune did for Bill." "What misfortune?" I Asked. "Who's Bill?" "Bill was terribly unlucky," was the response. "Bill lost his mother-in-law." " don't see how that should af flict him." I retorted. Twlzzle drained his beer glass, and shook his head with an understand ing look a', the bi rtender. The lat ter also shook his head, and both seemed stricken with a sad and poig ant memory. "It's a terrible mis fortune, ' murmured the barkeeper. "To think." continued Twlzzle, "of what Bill has suffered every night when he goes home and his wife says, 'Bill, Where's mother?' and Bill don't know. Awful!" " 'Orrible!" assented the other. "Lost his mother-in-law In a tin bucket," Twlzzle went on, raising his voice. "And set it down without ever know:n' where he left it!" exclaimed the bartender. "Awful!" boomed Twlzzle. " 'Orrible!" the bartender respond ed. I plucked Twlzzle strongly by the sleeve. "Look here," I protested, "I'm all In the dark. Tell me bow Bill lost his niother-iri-law. What's all this nonsense about a tin pall?" "It was an awful misfortune," Twlzzle answered, solemly. "It did Bill up. He ain't never held his head up since." "fclnco what?" I cried, In vexation. "Since lie lost his mother-in-law In a tin bucket," roared Twlzzly, fiercely. "What do you suppose I mean?" . "Easy now, Sam," urged the bar tender. "The gent don't know the partlc'lers." "I don't," said I, "and I'm -anxious to learn them." "Why didn't you say so before?" Twizzle demanded, suspiciously, "and not go a-doubtlng of my word?" "y protestations of credulity near ly partlcipited another flurry on Twizzlo's part, but the bartender came to my aid, and between us we soothed '-lm into a narrative mood. "BUI was my mate on the Oom Paul," he explained, "and he got married to a little woman living on Kusslan Hill here In San Francisco. Bill was terrible pleased. 'Never saw such a woman, Cap'n,' says he. 'And she and her mother run that house shipshape at you please.' " 'Mother-in-law living with you?' I asks. v "Bill sort of edges away. 'Of course,' sajg he. 'I couldn't expect Mary to live all by her lone while I'm at sea. She needs company.' "But BUI didn't cotton to that mother-in-law the way he wanted to. She sat heavy on his digestion. He couldn't warm up the way he ought to and the way bis wife thought he should. But Bill didn't say much ex cept one day before we got into port he Bays, 'Cap'n, I wonder if my mother-in-law likes me.' " 'Do you like her?' I demands, real blunt. " 'I try to do my duty, says he. " 'An unpleasant duty?' 1 sug gests. " 'She scms to sort of hoodoo me,' be blurts out.. 'I'm afraid she'll be a inlBfor une ..o me yet.' And which same Bhe was. Poor Bill! he tasted what was coming. "So things wont on for voyages several. Bill he seems sad In his bosom when he thinks of his wife's ma, and speaks considerable about misfortunes. You see she wr.- a small, black-eyed woman with Ideas. One voyage we got back to San F.-anclsco, end Bill leaves for Rus sian Hill in hlll bart clothes. In a couple rf hours he comes back 'Can I have a couple of days 0ffT' he In quires. 'What for?' i demand.. 'My wife's ma is dead says Bill 'and I want to bury her.' J7Tal!!.a Week'' ,asr 1 real berty, seeing it your mother-la-law. Do the Job up well, and good luck" Tm afeard.' says Bill. Tin "'She can't do you dirt now' I comforts hlni. 'Stow her away la the ground, and batten w down Uinta. .,1.1. . " Though noon glory be withdrawn, Grateful waa the radinnt dawn. Muster of the aubtleet art, Hope hae gladdened soul and heart; Folly more than Truth waa wiae, While the dwelt in Paradine. Better far my Aug half mint. Than that Love had never painted. F, Rubbing, in Lippincott'e. Mother-in-Law. t By John Fleming Wilson. " 'But she's left a will,' says Bill. " 'What's the difference?' I retorts. 'Bury her.' " 'I can't,' says Bill. 'She loft it in her will that she wbb to be cre mated.' " 'Cremated!' I exclaims. 'Do you you mean she wants to be stuffed and put on tho mantle-piece ? Don't you do it, Bill.' " 'It's not that,' says he. 'She wants to be burned to ashes cre mated in an oven.' " 'I see,' I remarks, real hearty, 'and you don't fancy eating vlttles cooked after her.' " 'No!' he yells. 'I've got to take her to a crematory and burn her In a place made for that. It's a cere mony same as burying.' " 'Well, why don't you go ahead?" I demands, some vexed at his stupid ity. 'I'd burn my mother-in-law in a minute. I take it kind that your wlfe;s ma left word to do it.' " 'I'd rather bury her,' Bays Bill. 'You see when she's burned, Mary wants the ashes back to keep In the house. She says it's the proper thing.' "I dln't Just see what the trouble was, but at; BUI was low in his mind I cheered him up as best I could, ar.d told him to take as many days as was needful to make a good Job of burn ing his wlfe'B ma. "Next day Bill turns up in the afternoon, quite solemn In black clothes. 'I want, you to do me a favor,' says he. " 'What is it?' I asks. " 'Come with me to the cremation,' he says. 'Mary says she can't bear to go, and I don't want to be alone. Doesn't seem scarcely decent.' " 'I alnt a good mourner,' I says, 'but I never desert a shipmate.' So we trotted off to the crematory, and sat on chairs in front of a furnace while Bill's wife's ma was cremated. It was terribly gloomy, specially when tin man in command came and says very solemn and blue, 'It's all over. What shall you do with the ashes?' " 'She's gone,' 3ays BUI. 'Poor woman! Did she leave many ashes?' " 'Not many,' says the man. 'Will you take 'em with ;ou?' "That's the proper thing?' Bill demands. " 'It is,' says the man. ' 'AH right,' says Bill, resigned. 'I thought maybe Mary was wrong, but what's proper must be done." 'So the man sweeps up the ashes and brings them out in a little pot. Here are the remains, he explains. " 'How'll I carry her?' asks Bill, all in a cold sweat, looking at the little pot. 'Put her in your pocket,' I says. 'It don't seem decent,' Bill pro tests. 'I can't carry my wife's ma home to her in my pocket.' So we discusses the matter, and I diigge3ts a hearse. 'Too big,' says mil. i aint going to make a Joke of it hauling this little through San- r'rancisoo in a big wagon.' "It all ends by us starting out with the pot in our hands very gin gerly. So we goes for a few blocks, when Bill gels an Idea. 'I'll buy a bucket,' says be, 'and put the pot in that. There won't be no scandal that way.' "I was doubtful iu my mind, but let It go, seeing it wasn't my funeral. We got a tin pail stowed the re mains in it, and started on. Present ly Bill says, 'This Is a sorrowful oc casion. 'Lot's have a drink ' So we had a drink, end BUI felt better. We had another, and Bill thought it was all for the best. We stopped in an- otner place, and he said it was queer to tnink how death came to all of us. 'I thought she never would die,' he remarks, lugubriously. " 'You better get home with them remains,' I exhorts him. " 'Looks like a lunch-pail,' Bays he. I :nust comfort Mary for the loss of her ma.' " 'Do,' says I. 'Excuse me if I quit chief mourning and go back to the ship.' "So I left him and went back to the Oom Paul, where I ate a dinner not so hearty as usual for thinking of a tin bucket with a mother-in-law in it. I was imoklng ray pipe afterwards when in comes Bill,- all flustered. " 'What'; the matter?' I demands, for he looked terrible upset. " 'I've lost her,' he retorts. " 'Lost who?' I inquires. " 'My mother-in-law,' says he. 'She's around somewhere In a tin bucket.' "Come to find out Bill had been terrible low after I left him, and stopped several times for drinks. When he gets home he's some ex alted. 'Where's ma's remains?' de mands his wife. "Then Bill was up against It, and can't explain. 'How could IT' he de mands, tearful, 'when I'd left the old woman sitting on no rue bar?' " 'You couldn't,' I answers. 'But haven't you found her?" "'No!' he bawls. 'She ain't no where to be found. I knew Bhe'd bring mo bad luck.' And he ain't to be consoled." Twlzzle heaved his huge shoulders In commiseration. "You saw him Just now? Well, Bill's teen hunting that tin pall with them remains In all these years. Of course, every bar he goes Into to Inquire he takes a drink. When he said that old woman would bring him misfortune. hu was right. He ain't been sober ilooe that funeral, It so you might call It. Poor BUlt He was a good f seaman, too. But marriage undid hlni. They say his wife takes on. awful." "Do you mean to say," I remarked, "that you've let that man go to the dogs Just because of his mother-in-law's remains bplng lost iu a tin bucket?" Twlzzle looked at me with renewed suspicion. "What of it?" he de manded. I took him to one side and spoke In his ear. A grin overspread hit heavy visage, and the bartender was called Into consultation. "It's a scheme," said the latter, genially. Twizzle swore with vociferous Jub ilation. "If there's anything I cher ish," he said, boomlngly, "It's the thought of fooling that ma of BUl'f wife." Two weeks later I went down to see Twizzle oft for Shanghai. He In troduced me to his mate, a somewhat pinched-looking seaman. "Bill's been Buffering from the loss of his mother-in-law," Twlzzle explained. "I hope it's all right," I said. The captain of the Oom Paul took me into his cabin. "He found her In a tin pall In tho Bowhead," he told me with prodigious solemnity, "Just where he lost her." "Funny he shouldn't have found It before," I remarked. "You never can tell what a moth-er-ln-lnw will do," was the response. "But them ashes looked wonderful natural." San Francisco Argonaut. BUYING BY AUCTION. It Is Kusy, Snys a Youth, When You've Learned! the Trick. "You never bought anything by auction?" exclaimed the experienced youth. "Best place in the world to furnish a studio, once you get them trained. I trained them with my table. That is, they found out they couldn't monkey with me. It was like this: You see, I thought I would buy a table first, a centre table, and drape a couch and a few other things around it as I got them. I picked out the table I wanted at the auc tion room. " 'How much are you willing to pay for It?' they asked. "I looked It over. " 'About six dollars,' I answered briefly. "I made a mistake wheu I said, 'About.' That's what cost me three weeks getting the table. "I went around the next day. They put up my table. I bid to six and stopped. Somebody else ran it up to seven and a half. I went homo and concluded I would have to pick out another table, since that was gone. "The next, week I went back for the other table. I had not been there ten minutes when they put up the same table. I was a little surprised, but as I still wanted it I bid right along till I got to my price, $6, then I quit. It was knocked down to somebody else. "Well, I went back the third week to get a table. As soon as they saw me they put up my table. I bid on it. Somebody ran it up to live. "Five and a half,' I said, and they knocked It down to me. C t it, you see, at half a dollar less trin I had started out to pay, ' and It served them right. "After that they treated me square. You see that brass lamp? A beauty, isn't It? Worth all of $ if it la worth a cent. Guess how much I paid for It? One dollar!" Sparrows Beaten by u Hen. Few mothers have triumphed over more difficulties In tho rearing of their families than NelUe, a little brown hen whose home Is In a box on the bank of the Chicago River, near North avenue. Besides the per ils of steam and street ca"s, of heavy traffic and deep ditches, Nellie has been forced, literally, to f ght for the protection of her brood ever since I she brought the little o:sfi Into the world three weeks ago. In that time she has killed tweni sparrows, members of a colony se. mlngly en tered Into a pact to destroy her off spring. ' The birds have killed four of Nellie's chicks, half of her family. War was declared between Nellie and the sparrows the morning the little hen proudly came from her nest with her eight tiny chicks. The trouble started over a dish of corn meal provided by a bridge tender for the hen and chickens. The sparrows wanted the mel,. and to get it made a concerted attack on the hen and chicks. Nellie killed four sparrows In the first battle, while the birds took the lives of two little chickens. The scrimmage ended with the sparrows in flight, but a guerrilla warfare has followed. The spar rows have succeeded only twice In their efforts to isolate Nellie's young ones, but on those occasions quickly beat the little chicks to death with their wings and bills. The chickens have now reached an age to be able to tight back when attacked, and the sparrows are giving up the fight. Chicago News. West Virginia Bear Hunt. A large black bear caused quite an excitement In this section last week. He was first discovered near Aleck Park's residence with an air of bravery not altogether lovely, Aleck has two fierce dogs that chased him up against the garden fence, and, as Is often the case, no gun could be found loaded, and after tossing the dogs around over the meadow with apparent case he crossed over- to near Harper Wol ford's on the creek and made his es cape In the Jungle, hotly pursued by a dozen or more men and dogs with short breath and fast beating hearts. Hampshire Review. Flying Squirrel Came Down Clilmncj, A flying squirrel recently oame down the chimney, a la Sauta Claus, at William C. Leavltt'a borne In Nor way. He got Into the soot on his passage down and got out through the flue Into the room. He looked black, and at first was called a black squirrel. He was a rare looking ani mal. He did not appear to be much frightened and waa easily caught.' Kennebeo Journal. No Plutocrats HOW IT PREVENTS THIS BUILDING UP OP ENORMOUS FORTUNES. :-: w Florence Pinch Kelly, I have Just returned from an ex tended trip through New Zealand, and In all the time I was there I did not see, in city, town or country, a single person who did not have enough to eat and wear, plenty of work at good pay and the will to do It. There Bre no beggars, there are no tramps, there are practically no unemployed, and there are no big fortunes. There Is probably no one In the islands whose wealth exceeds a million dollars, and those whose possessions amount to that much are very Jaw. When the Liberal Govern ment came Into power fifteen years ago the colony was In a very bad way. There were big landed estates j and absentee owners, so that most of the wealth produced in the islands went overseas. Consequently Indus-1 try had come to a standstill, and most of the worklngmen had no work. Those who could get enough money together to pay their passago were leaving by the shipload, and those who could not were being cared for by the Government In shelter sheds and soup kitchens. Since those days the created wealth of the colony has Increased by 122,000,000, and there is no reason to suppose that if the Government had not Interfered with the commercial laws of gravity a large part of that would not have gone into the building up of big for tunes and commercial bodies morn powerful than the Government. One of the first things the Liberal Government did was to inaugurate the policy of the bursting up of the big lauded estates. These have been bought compulsorily If the owners were unwilling to sell divided Into small holdings and leased to actual settlers. In this way the Govern ment has resumed over 700,000 acres, 'ihe leasehold tenure for 999 years of these land?, and also unim proved Crown lands, and a flat rental of four per cent, on the unimproved valuation made It possible for any man, no matter how poor, to estab lish himself on a farm. Then the Government went into the business of loaning money and advanced to th settler at five per cent, interest, reducible to four and a half by prompt payment, the money needed to get himself started, and make his improvements. The Government Labor Department was run In co operation with this land policy, an.1 It made every effort to help the un employed to get on the land. The Secretary of the Labor Department told me that he has put not less than ten thousand men on the land who otherwise could have done no better than to drift along on the perilous edge of day labor, to fall into dire straits at the first calamity. This policy has made them independent, prosperous farmers, producers of wealth for themselves and the col ony. For some yars the long term lease was the favorite form of land tenure, but there is now a strong and grow ing sentiment in favor of the free hold, and It Is probable that the Gov ernment will soon grant the right of purchase to all leaseholders, but It Is determined that this shall not result In segregation of laud Into large holdings. Keeping the land as wide ly distributed as possible among the people is one of the means by which It controls the distribution of wealth. There Is already a restriction upon the number of acres that may be ac quired by either lease or purchase from the Crown. To forestall the danger of the building up of lnrge estates which will come with the ex tension of the freehold the Govern ment proposes to limit the amount of land that can be held by ona person, by whatever title, or however ac quired. The law, which the Govern ment expeuB to enact at the next session of Parliament, will not affect existing titles, but will make Invalid the title to any land in excess of, probably 6000 acres, which any one person may attempt to acquire. Most systems of taxation are de vised for the purpose of providing revenue, but It is characteristic of the New Zealand idea of the tunc tlons and purposes of government that the primary intention of Its scheme of direct taxation Is to pro vide another means of combating the tendency of wealth to flow where molth already Is. There is no prop erty tax, and there is no tax on im provements. The laud tax Is on Ue gross salable value of the land less tho value ot all improvements. In addition to the ordinary land tax there Is a graduated land tax, which begins when the unimproved value of the land Is $25,000. Between this and $35,000 the rate Jb one-eighth of a cent to the pound Bterllng, and above that value he rate increases by equal steps until It reaches six cents to the pound, payable when the value Is a million dollars or more. Fifty per cent, additional tax is lev ied upon absentee owners. Holdings of small value are exempt from the ordinary laud tax. the exemption amoimtlng to $2500 where the un improved value does not exceed $7500, and gradually diminishing up to the value ot $12,500. This Is in accordance with the settled policy of the Government to make It eas for the poor and difficult for the rich to increase their possessions. - The re suit of the exemptions and deduc tions is that only oue-flfth of the New Zealand land owners pay a land tax; but during the last ten years the number of laud tax-payers has In creased by ninety per cent. The Income tax Is lovled In con junction with the graduated land tax, and Is assessed on all Income ex cept that derived from land or frora -.mortgages on land. This Is exempt, of corn-Be, because Its capital is as sessed under the land tax. Incomes ot less than 1X500 are exempt from the Income tax, and there Is a further deduction from all incomes ot $350 in New Zealand In the Indpn'.nt yearly for life insurance premiums. The rate of the tax last year wa twelve cents on the pound for the flr.f taxable $5000 and twenty-four cents on the pound for all exceeding that amount respectively, two and a half and five per cent. The num ber of Income taxpayers Is about one In 100 of the population. They have more than doubled in the last ten years, and In that time the receipts from the Income tax have Increased by 174 per cent. The Government officials think that their returns are remarkably complete, and do not be lieve that there is miu-h, if any, eva sion of tho law. Inspection officers verify returns at the taxpayer's dom icile, and the commissioner can com pel the production for their use of all books, balance sheets, stock sheets and other evidence of tho taxpayer's Income. The knowledge that tills will be done If necessary andthepen altles attached to refusal have had a wholesome moral effect, while the careful and systematic work of the Inspectors, who also give Instruction to taxpayers when necessary ns to the ke.eplng of simple forms of ac count which will facllltatethemaking of returns in correct lorm, and the system of revising anu checking by comparison in the commissioner's of fice, have made the law very effi cient In Its practical workings. The land and Income tax act has been in operation since 1891, and has therefore had ample time in which to be thoroughly tested. The .arge landholders, naturally enough, do not like the graduated land tax, tint there seems to be no dissatisfaction with the income tax, In either prin ciple or practice. Florence Finch Kelly, in the Independent. QUICK WIT OF YAXKKF. GUNXKit. An Incident of Power's I'lj-lit li Manila Buy. A group of army officers were dis cussing the difference in naval smart ness between the British and the American bluejackets as shown dur ing the recent visit of Prince Louis of Battenberg. A lieutenant who saw service In the Spanish part of the war in the Philippines told this to point his moral: "You remember how Dewey filed in squadron formation past the Spanish ships, firing as he went. The big guns were firing In order, each one in Its turn. "Now, maybe, you know how they load a big gun first, the projectile, wWh is rammed in tight; then, two bags of powder. The projectil Is ground exactly to fit the bore. The least obstruction puts it out of fit. "The crew of a forward 8-lnrh gun had fired early In the action, swabbed and loaded again. In clean ing they missed a burned bit of can vas sacking which holds the powder. "So the projectile didn't fit, but they didn't find out until they'd shoved In the powder sacks behind It. They stuck an inch beyond their proper place, and it. was Impossible to close the breech and, of course, to fire that shot. ".There was only one way of get ting the load out. This was to haul the muzzle close inboard and send a sailor with a twenty-four-foot rammer to shove it out. It would have taken a quarter of an hour. The gun crew stood to undergo the disgrace of losing their turn and of going out of action at a vital mo ment. "The gunner in charge, without the slightest hesitation, yelled: " 'Bill, give me a needle.' "He whipped out his sailor knife, ripped open the butt of the nearest sack and took out a double handful of powder. He sewed up tho rip, closed the breech, and said: "'Allow 1,500 yards on that shot letergo! ' "The shot struck the hull of the target ship, and the gun was behind Its turn by only two or three sec onds. "I bolieve this story Is true. I heard It from the gun crew the week after the fight. And the question is: Would any gunuer except a Yankee have had the savvy to solve the problem In two seconds of think ing?" Quepr Names For Horses. A turf critic -vho learned to read and write before he learned to race, once mado a bltier enemy of a highly respectable Texas sportsman by hav ing fun with the name he gave his pet two-year-old filly. The filly was tho foal of the pet of the ranch, Lit tle Pearl, r.id the sire was Gallr.ntry. The Texan called the offspring Little Pearls Gallantry. The first and only tlr.io Little Pearls of Gallantry Btarted the young critic took occa sion to chide the gentleman who hung that title on the filly. In the course of his playful tart remarks he undertook to name the future pro duct of the ranch whence came Lit tlo Pearls of Gallantry. Among the names he Buggepted were Little Things to Think About, Little Jars of Marmalade, Little Bales of Timo thy, Lizzie is My Hat on Straight. Bl;c Bill '-'It the White Hat, and such. The Texa.t could not have been more aggrieved had he been ac cused of cheating. The combination of the names ot sire and dam often result In beauti ful It meaning;ess names, but evel more frequently In laughable or ab surd groups of letters. Springfield Republican. Big T'en Prefer Comfort. The Tailor and the Cutter aaya that tall and well-developed nen are often olumsv and indltTarant in matters of drosj, preferring comfort i to style. Consequently, very few blf men appear to the best advantage. t'NRKHT OF MAN Ol It UNDO! NO. President Butler Dnrlea the llcra doner of Nation's Moral Slundnrd. Serious consideration of the present-day spirit of unrest In politics and business marked the address of President Nicholas Murray Butler at the one hundred and fifty-second an nual commencement of Columbia University. President Butler's address was brief. He began by saying that Abra ham Lincoln furnishes a good exam ple for persons to-day, owing to the fact that Lincoln "remained tranquil amid angry seas." He then said that there Is much dissatisfaction with modern social and political formulas. Continuing, he said: "That this unrest has been and Is being used by ambitious men for their own selfish ends and for gain by Journalistic builders of emotional bonfires Is certainly true, but it will not do to dismiss this spirit of unrest with a sneer on that account. "It has passed far beyond the bounds of the dreamers and vision aries, the vlolent-mlnded and the naturally destructive. Men accus tomed to honcBt reflection and them selves possessed of sincerity, always the sheet-anchor of conservatism, hase come under Its influence. Poli cies that not long ago were dismissed as too extreme for serious discussion are now soberly examined with refer ence to their immediate practicabil ity. What has brought about this change? "An answer is not far to seek. An increasing number of men have come to distrust the capacity of Boclety as now organized to protect itself against the freebooters who exist in it. "An Increasing number of men be lieve and assert that law and justice are powerless before greed and cun ning, and they are the more ready to listen to advocacy of any measure or policy, however novel or revolu tionary, that promises relief. Their Imaginations, too, cannot help being affected by the appalling sight, so often called to our attention of late, of that moral morgue wherein are ex posed the shrivelled souls and ruined reputations of those who have lost In the never-ending struggle between selfishness and s rvlce that goes on in the human breast." ' President Butler said that "greed for gain holds an appalling number of men in its grasp," and that great wealth and opportunities have caused a loosening of the old ideals of con duct and business. In conclusion he said: "It la our own Individual charac ters that are at fault, and not the In stitutions whose upbuilding Is the work of the ages. Sound and upright individual human characters will up lift society far more speedily and surely than any constitutional or leg islative nostrum, or the following of any economic or philosophical wlli-o'-the-wlsp. Unethical acts precede Ille gal ones, and Bpeedlly lead to them. Given an acute perception of the difference between right and wrong, a clear conception of duty, and an appreciation ot the solemn obliga tions of a trust, our social and polit ical system would, perhaps, be found to work equitably and well. Without these, traits no system Is workable. Moral regeneration, not political and economic reconstruction, Is what we chiefly need." WORDS OK WISDOM. Most people In love act as If it were an exquisite torture. A lie can travel a mighty long dis tance without getting lost. If he wasn't married a man could have a lot of fun being rich. The particular curse of mice Is they make people keep cats. A woman calls a hat sweet when It has a lot of mangled birds on it. It's very unlucky to propose to a girl unless you want her to accept you. An unpleasantness in your own family is a scandal in anybody's else's. A nice thing about being terribly unpopular is ft means you have a lot of money. About the meanest man Is the one who won't fib to a woman to make her happy. The man who writes articles on how to make money gets mighty lit tle out of It. It's really remarkable how popu lar you can make a thing simply by preaching against It. This is such a nice world that when you get well acquainted with It you atop worrying about the next. If you buy a house the taxes go up; If you sell It there is a real es tate boom right after you do It. A horse doesn't know much not to run away when the fellow behind with his girl has only one arm to hold hlni. You can generally tell by the color of a girl's hair what kind of ribbons she runs through her clothes that you don't see. If the baby lets the family got. in a little Bleep between 6 a. m. and breakfast Its mother will tell how good it was. After a girl has broken her heart five or six times over a man her par ents won't let her marry, they don't worry so much about whether she will die from it. From "Reflections of a Bachelor," in iuj New York Press. , Boy's Adventure Willi Bear. A black bear that had strayed from the Turtle Mountain reserva tion invaded the farm of John Dun lop at Marysvllle. The neighbors were summoned and among the party was Frank Munler, a fifteen-year-old boy, who was. .mounted and had a shotgun with which he shot the bear. j lie secured a rifle from one ot the men and managed to Inflict a mor tal wound on the bear, which charged him. The pony got away and Munler had to run for his life, but the bear fell dead Just before It reached the boy. Rolla corre spondence St. Paul Dispatch. A scientist says that automoblllng will cure insomnia. A process of producing morphine directly from the poppy Is announced by the American Department of Agri culture. , It Is estimated that the corn-stalks grown on a single acre will yield about one hundred aud seventy gal lons of commercial alcohol. Dr. Wolff, a well known authority, on the subject, calls attention to the high mortality from cancer In the beer drinking districts of Germany. He Instances Bavaria and Salsburg, both great beer drlnktng-centres. Both of these districts show high mortality among cancer patients. The new method of producing gen eral anesthesia proposed by Schnel derlin of Berlin, consists in giving three hypodermic Injections two hours, one hour and halt an hour before operation of scopolamine with some morphine. Unconscious ness continues some hours after the operation. The recent d'scovery by Mr. Allen, a Dublin veterinary surgeon, that or dinary turpentine is an antidote to carbolic acid has aroused great inter est. A well known chemical expert in Dublin tested the efficacy of the antidote on a dog. A dose of car bolic acid was first administered, and when all the ordinary symptoms of carbolic poisoning had been devel oped, oil of turpentine was applied, and the dog recovered within a short time. Loss of sleep proves to be the curi ous effect that may limit man's mountain-climbing. Dr. Bullock Workman mentions that in his camp in the Himalayas at 19.358 feet, members of his party were kept awake by lack of breath, and on doz ing off would suddenly awake gasp ing. He concludes that inability to sleep may Itself be sufficient to keep climbers from going beyond twenty three to twenty-flv thousand feet. According to the American Manu facturer, the coal deposits of North America are estimated to contain nearly as much as those ot Europe, or 681,000,000,000 tons, but. even this gigantic figure is completely dwarfed by Asia's wealth of coal, as to which it is at present impossible to make an even approximate esti mate. China more especially seems to possess inexhaustible supplies, and a German scientist has put the coal deposits of the province of Shansl alone at 1,200,000,000,000 tons. Drnfts over deep wells are usually due to changes of temperature or barometric pressure, air being forced In as the pressure rises and drawn out when the barometer Is falling. But two wells in the Vicksburg Jack son limestone of southern Georgia have shown the strange phenomena of a continuous in-draft. This has been investigated by Mr. S. W. Mc Calle, who has found a rapid subter ranean stream at a depth of about 120 feet, and it Is supposed that the air is sucked in by friction and car ried along until the water rises as large spring. TIIK EX-MESSENGER BOY. In England He Hus Developed Into a Very Serleius I'roblt-iu. The Postmaster-General's recent appeal to employers to give prefer ence to ex-telegraph and messenger boys must draw attention once more to one of the principal causes of the "unskilled unemployed" difficulty, says London Modern Society. There Is no reason for the promotion of all the telegraph boys when they are no longer boys. Nor has their train ing In the Postal Service taught them unything but habits ot cleanli ness and the use of their legs. At sixteen or seventeen the boy is turned loose with no special aptitude and, having earned a decent wage hitherto, he expects to do as well with equally unskilled labor as a man. Hence the crowds clamoring about the dock gates. But. the evil spreads far beyond the posral Bervice; for the short sighted British parent of the less provident classes jumps at the pros pect of the boy's addition to the household budget. Therefore the boy, so soon as he is free from school (and often before that), is Bet to ruu errands, to sit on the tail of a van, to perform any one of the hundred odd jobs that bring in a boy's wags but, cease when the boy reaches adolescence. A typically modem instance Is that of the golf caddie. He is on the link, in his thousands every day of the week, and makes a good thing of it for a year or two. But the caddie who has become a man has learned no trade, no handicraft. The royal game of golf may have rejuvenated many old men, but it has certainly ruined thousands of boys. Indeed, the rase of the caddie Is peculiarly typical of this evil of early waje-earnlng. For the caddie lives an easy and heulihy life In the open air; he earns good wages for a boy and, in spite of all regulation? to the contrary, may depend upon generous perquisites. But what is to become of these thousands of boys when they have to face a man's re sponsibilities with no training to help them? We suspect that a large percentage take the course that In practically but a temporary refuge for the unskilled and enlist. And here we may find the explanation of the dlamal figures supplied by re cent Investigator, , who found that about sixty per cent, of the ma!a "casuals" In our workhouses are "old soldiers." For Its white population. South Africa is perhaps the greatest market In the world for musical instruments. It spends for them $1,000,000 a year, half of which Is for pianos.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers