VERY TRUE. The Man— Society Is a funny thing. The Maid —How so? The Man —A girl is not "in it" until Ehe has "come out." SCALES ALL OVER HER BODY "Allow me to say a few words in praise of the Cuticura Remedies. About three years ago, I was affected by white scales on my knees and elbows. I consulted a doctor who treated me for ringworm. I saw no change and consulted a specialist and i he claimed I had psoriasis. I contin ued treatment under him for about six | months until I saw scales breaking \ out all over my body save my face. I My scalp was affected, and my hair • began to fall. I then changed doctors ; to no avail. I went to two hospitals and each wanted to make a study of the case and seemed unable to cure it or assure me of a cure. I tried sev- j eral patent medicines and was Anally advised by a friend who has used Cuticura on her children since their birth, to purchase the Cuticura Rem- ; edies. I purchased a cake of Soap, the Ointment and the Resolvent. After ; the lirst application, the itching wao allayed. "I am still using the Soap and Olnt- j men£ and now feel that none other is good enough for my skin. The pso riasis has disappeared and I every where feel better. My hands were 60 I disfigured before using the Cuticura ! Remedies that I had to wear gloves all the time. Now my body and hands are looking fine." (Signed) Miss Sara Burnett, ?135 Fitzwater St.. Phil- J udelphia, Pa.. Sept. 30, 1910. Although Cuticura Soap and Ointment are sold by druggists and dealers everywhere, j a sample of each, with 32-page book, j will be mailed free on application to "Cuticura," Dept. L, Boston. Flattery. Edward D. Kaston, one of the big gest manufacturers of talking Ma chines in the world, has an idea that everybody is as much Interested in grand opera as he is. He gives week ly concerts at his home and makes all lus serv.ijits, who represent vari ous nationalities, listen to them. Once r Swedish housemaid gave signs of Intense satisfaction at the hearing a particularly loud and shrill record by the great soprano, Kina Cavalieri. "So, you like that?" asked Mr. Kas ton, all puffed up because his grand j opera had made such a hit. "Ay t'ink it bane grand," replied j Alma. "It sound to me just, lak de j way de Ireesli cook she cry las, when - hossban' die." —Popular Magazine. He Was the One. A small boy with a rather lost and lonesome appearance walked into the county clerk's office at the court house. He gazed about him for a time and finally approached Deputy Henry Smiley. "Please, sir," the lad said timidly. I "have you seen anything of a lady ■ around here?" "Why, yes, sonny," answered Smi ley. "I've seen several." "Well, have you seen any without a j little boy?" the lad asked anxiously. "Yes." replied Smiley. "Well," said the little chap, as a relieved look crossed his face, "I'm the little boy. Where's the lady?"— Denver Times. The New Wife. Hubby—My dear, won't you sew on I a button for me before you go out? His New Wife —The cook may possi bly do It for you. But please bear In mind you married a typewriter, not a sewing machine. After sympathizing with people who are in trouble many a man begins to feel like a hypocrite. Garfield Tea Insures a normal action of the liver. Many a married man has a chaperon In his wife. TWO WEEKS' TREATMENT AND MEDICINE FREE no matter what your disease If you sui'er fiom Rheumatism.write. If you sufier fri m Kidney Trouble, write. No matter whit you sufier from, write to MUNYON'S DOCTORS B.ld mid Jefferson Sta., Philadelphia, Pa. NOT A PENNY TO PAY Ofier Is Good for the Next Thirty Days WE O|oo PER SET FOR TECTII PAY vl°° OLD FALSE ICbI ll which are of no value to you. Highest prices paid for Old Gold, Silver, Platinum, Diamonds and Precious Stones. Money Eei't by return mail. PHILADELPHIA SMELTING AND REFINING CO. ' (Kstnbiishcd 20 years) 833 CIIEBTN IT ST. .r IIIL A DKI.TII I A, PA. W. N. U., NEW YORK. NO. 16-1912. GOOD I JOKES PRESENCE OF MIND. There are symptoms of panic In the theater. A big man in the front row arises. "Sit down!" he roars. "There is no danger! Sit down!" The stampeding audience stops, turns, and faces him. "Sit down!" he orders. The people obediently sit down. "I will goto the entrance and show you there is no danger whatever, the big man says. He strolls along the aisle, reaches the exit, and rushes out. "That's what 1 call presence of mind," he tells himself. "I never could have get out of there if 1 hadn t stopped that panic." Poets Without Honor. "T.ook here: How did these rhymes about Washington get In the paper?" "Do you mean the poem by William CuUen Bryant?" "That's the one. Didn't I distinctly j tell you not to use any more of the ; amateur stuff?" "Yes. Have you read It?" "Me! Read It! What tor? And, ! look here, if there's anything to pay ! this man Bryant for the dope it's got to come out of your pocket, mind that!" "That's all right. I'll stand It." And the wheels resumed revolving. Making Use of Him. Ruff oil Wratz (in box car) —Naw! | I didn't git half a night's sleep. How j d'you s'pose I could sleep when you had yer cold feet in th' small o' my I back all night long! i Saymold Storey—Them wuzn't my feet, pardner; them wuz a couple o' frosted turnips I wuz thawin' out. Poor Reporting. "I don't like the way they reported my speech," complained the new con gressman. "Why, they sprinkled in plenty of laughter and applause." I "Yes; but how about all of them gestures?" Good Deeds. Tom—l told her father that I expect ed to inherit several pieces of fine property. Dick —What did he say? Tom—He said that deeds speak iouder than words. WHAT DID HE MEAN? The Dandlubber —Did you have a bad trip on your last voyage? I The Sea Captain—Yes; very bad. ; My wife went along. Needless Alarm, What's that? What's that? Did someone Are? Ah. no. 'Twas Just An auto tire. Well, Hardly. Bacon —I see in some parts of Aus tralia the telephone Is regarded as an amusement rather than a necessity. ! Kgbert—Well, they can hardly con- I sider it an amusement when central : says the line is busy, can they? Lack of Realism. "Did you see where some actress says that audiences do not like to see husband and wife aciing as lovers on the stage." "Of course not. It's not natural." Announcing the Engagement. "Miss ITpperton, are you engaged to be married to Count Nocash?" "There is absolutely no truth In the rumor. Marie, show the gentlemen Ihe ring and give him a photograph." Unhappy Jane. "Poor Jane is in despair." "What is the matter with .lane?" "Why, Bhe has just begun to realize that she's 100 fat for an actress and not fat enough for a prima donua." Not Necessarily So. "So Jones has become an actor." "lias he?" "You said so." "No. I didn't. 1 said he had gone on the stage." Supremacy. "There is one state in the T'nlon !n w£lch women have the upper hand without the aid of the ballot." "Which one Is that?" "The stale of matrimony." Its Kind. "Don't you think this open tire Is », big Improvement oyer a commonplace radiator?" "Certainly; In fact. It Is a grate jr»- Confidential. Little Willie —Mr. Jones, do you like lemon pie? Casual Visitor —Yes, Willie. Little Willie (anxiously)— You don't like It very much do you? Casual Visitor (surprised)— Why do you ask, Willie? Little Willie—Because we've got It for dessert and ma's afraid you'll want a second help. AN INTERRUPTED TOAST. | George—Miss Evelyn, I rise to pr> pose— Evelyn (hastily interrupting him) — 1 am yours, dear George. Surprising. When some "pugs" «t«.y A single round Our wonder is Indeed profound. A Sign of Old Age. "It seems to me that WorthingtOTi j has been growing old rapidly during | the past few years." "Yes, his hair is becoming rather j gray." "It isn't his hair that makes him , seem old to me. A man may have ■ gray hair and still be young in spirit; but Worthlngton has reached the j point In life where he can look at a j rosy-cheeked girl and refer to her as j a healthy young animal instead of j calling her an angel." Almost Miraculous. Pierced by the bullet of an nnseen foe, the hero had died in great agony. Ten seconds later he was standing before the curtain, smiling and bow ing his thanks to the applauding audi ence. IJeats the pulmotor, doesn't ltl Holding Him Down. "Yep," said Silas Hayrick, "we've decided t' send that no-count Keuben t' congress." "But why?" we asked. " 'Cuz every time we send him any wheres else he gits out on a writ o" j habeas corpus." Warmth. "Did that Investigation develop any thing in the nature of the third de gree?" "It went away beyond that. When I left it was in the neighborhood of a hundred in the shade." His Reasoning. "Why did the organist play the wedding march so fast that the bride and groom had almost 10 dance up the aisle?" "I suppose he thought that mar rlage was something of a two-step." Explanation. He—Why do they call a wife's al lowance pin money? She —Because the average man thinks It's enough for her if a woman gets the money buy pins enough to hold her old clothes together. THE REASON. Wiggs—l've met a whole lot of ma jors and colonels in your state; but 110 admirals. Waggs—A man has to get near the water wagon to be an admiral. Uncomplimentary. His heart was light— What made him blue. The neighbors vowed Ills head was, too! A Slight Misunderstanding. Mrs. Btngs—My son in the city has got a ottermobll and he has a grodge. Mrs. .links—Goody gracious! Who's the grodge aginstT 1 Fitting Fate. 1 "Why do you want to railroad this man to prison?" "Why not? Isn't he a train rob b«r?" Whatris Castoria.. is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Feverishness. For more than thirty years it has been in constant use for the relief of Constipation, Flatulency, Wind Colic, all Teething Troubles and Diarrhoea. It regulates the Stomach and Bowels, assimilates the Food, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children's Panacea —The Mother's Friend. The Kind You Have Always Bought, and which has been in use for over 30 years, has borne the signature of Chas. H. Fletcher, and has been made under his personal supervision since its infancy. Allow no one to deceive you in this. All Counterfeits, Imitations and " Just-an-good" are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of Infants and Children—Experience against Experiment. Letters from Prominent Physicians Pfnr — — 1: (addressed to Chas. H. Fletcher: jlllllj l Dr. Albert W. Kahl, of Buffalo, N. Y., says:"l have used Castoria fo |K||pij] jj j) P r f ct ' ce * or P* 3 * 26 years. I regard it as an excellent medicine Dr. Gustare A. Elsengraeber, of St. Paul, Minn., Bays: "I Bava tisel Si'ftf ■! 0% y° ur Castoria repeatedly In my practice "with good results, and can recom« !| ■ IIBJI'I mend it as aa excellent, mild and harmless remedy for children." ij'Ejy! KMp* ■- VP Ijlu Dr. E. J. Dennis, of St. Louis, Mo., says:"l have used and prescribes PCtojs your Castoria in my sanitarium and outside practice for a number of years 1 ''and find it to be an excellent remedy for children." ~i ALCOHOL 3 PER CENT . ill 112 Dr. S. A. Ituchanan, of Philadelphia, Pa., says: I have used your Cas m I similiiinS&S ß S' torla ,n the case of baby and ,? nd " pleasant ta *** and tava ffl 3 ting (lie Siomachs andßowcisiT obtalned excellent results from its use. Ig jjffly. Dr. J. E. Simpson, of Chicago, 111., Bays: "I hare used your Castoria la jjjigi&i cases of col la in children and have found It the best medicine of its kind ffM! mmmUZI on the market." Blip Promotes DigestionJClwcrful- Dr - E ; ildßon - Omaha Neb., Bays: "I find your Castoria to be a liill'! ncss and Rest Contains nciowr standard family remedy. It is the best thing lor infanta and children 1 IS2o Opiimi.Morphine nor Mineral, have ever known and I recommend it." Hi If NOT NARCOTIC. ! Dr. L. It. Robinson, of Kansas City, Mo., Bays: "Tour Castoria certainly l|§ .... j has merit. 191 not Its age, its continued use by mothers through all these ™j», ;i JRetiptt/O/dIkSiMLZLniWBI j years, and the many attempts to imitate it, sufficient recommendation? I#% j'- PlmfkiaSti" iWhat can a physician add? Leave it to the mothers." ||g jhMUUts- | Dr. Edwin F. Tardee, of New York City, says:"For several years I have Ulsi!' AmtS-i* \ recommended your Castoria and shall always continue to do 80, as it haa pi?? / Invariably produced beneficial results." HflSll aSSuimr- 1 Dr. N. B. Slzer, of Brooklyn, N. Y., Bays: "I object to what are called rSSynmfiavr. I patent medicines, where maker alone knows vhat ingredients are put ia ijWftS . .~~7Z A r n..' them, but I know the formula of your Castoria rnd advise its use." M '««« GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS aSS- WormsjConvulsKras.Fewrish l Yi if ness and Loss OF SLEEP. SJ Jiearg tno j, gpSjal Tie Kind Yoo Have Always Bouglit ""fJ'wrIJIHI" In Use For Over 30 Years. ILzact V-opy ox wrapper. <MI MNTAUNOOMNNV. TT MURIIAV■TMIT. NI« VORR EM. PUTNAM FADELESS DYES Color more goods brighter and faster colon than anv other dye One 10c packi.ge colors all fibers, Thevdyeincold waterbetter than any °th" dye. You CM dye any garment without ripping apart. Write lor fiee booklet—How to Dye. Bleach and Mix Colors. MONROE DRUG COMPANY. Qulncy. 11l GOOD NAME. Wise— The Choral Society should change It's name to the Chloral So ciety. Green —Why? AVise—l went to their concert last ; Eight ancl It put me to sleep. To keep artificial teeth and bridge- i work antiseptically clean and free j from odors and disease germs, l'axiine Antiseptic is unequaled. At drug- ; gists, 25c a box or sent postpaid on re ceipt of price by The Paxtou Toilet Co., Boston, Mass. His Work. "An electrician ought to be a social success." "Why an electrician especially?" "Because he Is so well posted on current topics." Garfield Tea, for the ills resulting from im pure blood, is u remedy of tried efficacy. Diiuk before retiring. He who lends money without se curity borrows trouble. Mrs. Whislow'H Soothing Svrup for Children tcfitiinK. Hoftenn th'' reduces inflamma tion, allays pain, cures wind cullc, 25c a bottle. Always remember to be a gentle man—unless you are a woman. riLES CFRKI) IX « TO 14 DAYS Yorir will rotund money if l»AZO OINT MKNT fails to euro any case of itching, HWnd, Bleeding or Protruding Pilea in 6to 14 day*. 60c. 1 O U are vowels that have caused many a man's downfall. ••Pink Fyf" In Fpldemlo In llie Spring. Try Murine Eve Remedy lor Reliable Relief If a girl really wants a Han's love she returns it. Since If is worth while to be well, take ' Garlicld Tea, Nature's Medicine. The deserving poor do not always 1 deserve to be. W. L. DOUGLAS SHOES x —x •2.25 *2.50 *3.00 $ 3.50 MOO & '5.00 M M For MEN, WOMEN and BOYS Jfe gg FOR OVER 30 YEARS life WEAR W. L. DOUGLAS SHOES *SB) You can save money because they are \ ' Js]l more economicai and satisfactory in \ J style, fit and wear than any other makes. W. L. Douglas name and price stamped -A on the bottom guarantees full value and I protects the wearer against high prices >1 and inferior shoes. Insist upon having the JS genuine W. L. Douglas shoes. s,Vh. k <uui". fffipsWl If vour dealer cannot suppiv W. L. Douglas Mioea, write W. L V_x m /SoVsk-M Douglas, Brockton, MHS*., lor cataloir. HIMH** Bent e\irvwliere SmMpy 1 W delivery charges prepaid. J'att Color £yelets uaetL K&jUmJs ooooooooooooooooooooooooccocooooocooooooooooooooooooo I "Why Crank Your Motor" 1 X GUARANVEED & SELF-STARTER !^« I GUARANTEED TIRES UNGUARANTEED TIRES | V - - " *'9 *■* 34*4 ... >20.40 X © 34*3'* " • " 20 05 3 fi ... 30.65 ft Q 34x4 - 29 80 36*5 - ' * 37-35 V X AH other sizes at the same reduction of price. Goods shipped C. O.D. sub- o {5 ject to examination. Come in and see our stock of all O § Automobile Supplies, Oils, Hardware, Cap:, Gloves and Coats g 1 WECO, 2230 Broadway, N. Y. | 80000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 pomade Vaseline fSS A choice dressing and preservative for the hair. Highly Checks dandruff and keeps scalp In health}' condition. Pomade Vaseline is put up in attractive bottles and in BH\Ky4H collapsible tulM-s. Insist on Pomade VASELINE. If your dealer do»s not carry it, write us. We will «I*o IK* glad to *en<l von 112 refi Illustrates booklet. pp.. riescrttv j'JJIMRis - lnp other choice "\a»ellue ' preparations lor toilet and laiuily use. j||HL o<t | Address Dept. K Chesebrough Manufacturing Company -Sttir 17 State Street (Consolidated) New York DEFIANCE Cold Water Starch makes knmdry work a pleasure. 16 oz. i kg. luc. ■ ■ tonic lAJlllKlll'iaitmj FOR EYES ftoji/jgre of this PaP 4 " l " desiring to buy i l\vtlUCl 3 anything advertised in its col- I umns should insist upon having what they ask l'or.refusing all substitutes or imitation*
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers