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per ye ar, invariably in advance.
COBB & VAN GELDER.
TEN LINES 07 MIRION, OR LiBB, RARE 814 SQUARE
7.,lo:olrSq're. 1 I In. gams.lns. '
I , t nn.
$l,OO $2,00 $2,60 $6,00
2.00 8,00 4,00 f_l,oo
22 8 ,00
118,00) 18,00 26,00 30,00 4 .
Special Notices 15 cents per lino; Editorial or
Local 20 cents poi line.
OSSEA LODGE, No. 317, A, Y. 31., Moots at their Nall
over Dr. (toy's drug store, on Tuesday evening, ou or
before the Full Moou, at 7 o'clock P. 32.
TYO3A CHAeTEIt, No. 194, FL A. M., moots at tho
Hall, on Thursday evening, on or bofero the Full
Sloop, at, 7 o'clock P. M.
TYOOA COUNCIL, No. 31, R. & S. MASTERS, meets at
the llall, on - the third Friday of each calendar
depth, at 7 o'clock P. M.
TYAGAGIITON CO3IMANDERY, No. 28, of KNIGHTS
IF.IIPLAR, and the appendant orders, meets at tho,
11s11, on the first Friday of each calendar month•, at
7 o'clock P. MI
COUNSELOR AT LAW
Pension Agency, Main
-- . -
ATTORNEAND COUNSELOR 'AT LAW,
Notary P blic and Insurance Agent, Blass
burg,l Pa., Tor CaidweWs Store.
W. W MERRICK,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW.
Oillee Iritti W. 11. Smith, Esq., Main Street,
o pposite Union Block, W"Olleb6ro, Pa.
July 15, 1868. " •
W. 0. TERRELL ek. Co.,
WHOLESALE DRUGGISTS, and dealers In
Paper, Kerosene Lamps, Wiridow.Olass,
Perfumery, Paints and Oils, Ac., he.
Corning, N. Y., Jan. 1,1868.—1 y. •
N. F. WILSON.
WILSON & NILES,
ATTORNEYS AD COUNSELORS AT LAW,
• (First door from Bigoney's, on tho Avenue)--:
Will attend to business entrusted to their care
in the counties of Tioga and Potter.
Wellsboro, Jan. 1, 1868.
ATTORNEY :AND COUNSELOR 'AT LAW,
Wellsboro, Tioga Co., Pa.
Claim Agent, Notary Public,
Agent. lie will attend promptly to collection of
Pagans, Back Pay and Bounty. As Notary
Public be takos acknowledgements of deeds, ad
ministers orthe, and 'cg ill act as Commissioner to
take testimony. /0 - Ogee over Roy's Drug Store,
adjoining Agitator Oilice.—Oct. 30. 1367
John W• Guernsey,
ATTORNEY AND COUX-SELOR AT LAW.
Having returned to this etlinty with a view of
tasking it his permanent-residence, solicits a
Aare of puling patronage. All business en
trusted to his Care will be attended to with
want:loms and fidelity. Office 2d door south
of E. S. Parr's hotol. Tioga, Tioga Co., Pa.
sopt. 26.'66.-tf. ' ~„
JOHN B. SHAILSPEARE,
DRAPER AND TAILOR. Shop over John R.
_OP Cutting,- Fitting, and
Repairing done promptly and in best style.
Wellsboro, Pa., Jan. 1,1668—1 y
&ILOR. Shop first door north of L. A. Sears's
Shoe Shop. '7:43'Cutting,Fitting, and Repair-
In:; Bono promptly and well. •
WoMboro, Pa., Jan. 1,1868.—1 y.
TAILOR AND CUTTER, has opened a shop
oa Crafton street, bear of Sears .35 Derby's slice
shop, where ho is prepared to manufacture gar
tants to order in the most substantial manner,
and with dispatch. Particular attention paid
to Cutting and Fitting. March 2134868-1 y
Dr. C. K. Thompson.
attund to Piefessionnl calls in the village,
f Wellsboro and elsewhere.
Office and Resit - knee on State St. 2d door on
the right going Eiist. [Juno. 24, 1868.
FA BACON, M. b., lato of the I.'d Pa. Cavalry, after
IJ., nearly four years of army service, with a large
aperience in field and hospital practice, has opened an
,alcs•for thepractice of medicine and surgery, in all
4, branches. Parsons from a distance can find good
toarding at tho Pennsylvania Hotel when desired.—
slut any part of the State in consultation, or to
prform surgical operations. Ne. 4, Unten Black - , up
•i urs. Wellsborcr. Pa., May 2,1466.-Iy.
Wm. B. Smith.
IitiOXVILLE, Pa. Pension, Bounty, and In
, urance Agent. Communications sent to the
.above address will rpceivo prompt attention.
rermS moderate: t- Don 8,1868-13]
sCRVEYOR & DRAFTSMAN.—Orders left at
as room, Townsend Hotel, Wellsboro, will
s.eot with prompt attention.
R. E. OLNEY,
DEALER in CLOCKS .t JEWELRY, SILVER
I PLATED WARE, Spectacles, Violin Strings,
,t , ?. , , te, Mansfield, Pa. Watches and Jew
dry neatly repaired. Engraving done in plain
English and German. 1 lsep t 6- I y.
Fiairkhvssing & Shaving.
',dorm over Willcox k Barkor's -Store, Wells.
Pa. Particular attention paid to Ladies'
Ilur•cutting, Shampooing, Dyeing, etc. Braids,
Pud4, coils, and tirichos on hand and made to or.
11. W. DORSEY.
J. G. PUTNAM,
ATILL WRIGHT—Agent for all the best
111. TURBINE WATER WHEELS. Also
•40vart's Oscillating Movement for Gang and
lulap Saws. •
flogs, Pa., Aug. 7, 1868, ly,
C. L. 'WILCOX,
(Nailer in DRY GOODS of all kinds, Hardware
ii,,i Yankee Notions. ,Our ti sortment is large
I[l.l prices low. Store' in, U ion Block: Call
'a 4 , ntletnan.—may2o 1 . 136 —I y.
iTIEL, PA., GEORGE CLOSE, Propri
...rot, A nAw Hotel conducted on the principle
live and let live, for the accommodation of
ht• pablio.—Nov. 14, 1866.—1 y.
; FARR'S 110 TEL,
"0 A, TroGA CO - 11,NTY, PA
stabling, attached, and an attentive hos
ways in attendance
E. S. FARR,
I.S i FIELD Borough, Tioga Co. Pa., E. G.
11 , 11, Proprietor. A now and commodious
... , ling with all tho modern improvements
w,/Ido easy drives of thebest hunting and fish
1: ;rounds in Northern Penn'a. Conveyance
fur:hilted. Terms moderate.
t' 5,1868-3 y.
AK WALTON 11101 USE,
Gainos, Tioga County, Pa.
VUE C. VERMILYEA, PROP'It. This i
• hotel located within easy aceds:. of th ,
fishing and limiting, ground: in North
atn t'eun4ylvania. No pains will be spare.
r t: le:war:iodation of pleasure seekers an.
the:raveling public- [Jan. 1, 186R.3
Bounty and Pension Agency.
ur A. VINO received .Jellnitel ontruction• i n regard t.
it the extra bounty alloived by the act approve i
1 906,811.1 haring on hand a largo 811ppl 01
try blatika .1 am prepared to prosecute all per
I !wanly claims which may be placed in my
Verson s I ill no At tit
digtxee can communicate
t•y totter, and 'il*oir communications u - 111
•,I!.tlyaniwstoLl. WM. 11. SMITH..
iho cro.October24 asus
BOOT AND SHOE MAKER
I rihon et- Van Vaikcnburg's Store, in
, e lately occupied by Reel j. Seeley.
AND SHOES of 'all kinds made
•Jr.ler and in the best manner.
[RING of all kinds dono promptly a
4 '' , l Give us a call.
• 188 8 .1 p RILEY.
Wtlldboro,Jan.2, 18 68 -/•
8 3106.16 Novi Xia,r
00,00 1 NSW
CITY BOOK BINDERY
BLANK BOOK 111ANUFAVTORY,
(SIGN OP TIIB" BIG BOOk, 2D F1,00U,)
ELMIRA, N. Y.
ova co -Frio
1 01 l AS ME BEST, CAEAP A 9 VIE CHEAPEST
• f every ) plosoription, in all stylos of Binding,
n as low, for quality of Stock, ad any Bindery
n the State. Volumes of every doscription
.ound in tlio best manlier and in any. stylo,or
o ed. •
Executed, in the best manner. ,Old l3oohere
nuidegood ß is -new. :' , --) 1 -- ^ l =•-• 1
Il4tOkii2ElE M '
COMPLETE YOUR SETS!
ale prepared to furnish heels., numbers of all
R l views or Magazines publishods in . the United
States or Groat Britain, at a low price,
• BLANK BOOK & OTHER, PAPER,
Of all sizos and qualities, on hand, ruled or
BILL HEAD PAPER, - •
,Of any quality'or size, on hand - and - nut - IT Toady
for printing. Also, BILL PAPER, and cARL)
BOARD of all colors and quality, in toCarilS` or
cut to any sizo. •
l ap, Letter, Note Paper, Envelopes,
Pens, Pencils, &c.
I am sole agent for
rof. BHEPARD'S NO.N.coRROSIVE:STEEL
PENS, or. vARI6os 1417,F:S;l'Olt
.1. B. NILES
hich I will warrant equal to Gold P . ons. „The
.st in use and no mistake. . • • •
The above stook I will sell at the Lowest Rates
all times, at a small advance on New York
ices, and in quantities to suit purchasers. All
ork and stook warranted as represented. .
I respectfully solicit a share b!' &MI6 patron
;ls. Orders by mail 'promptly , attended to,-.-
Address, LOUIS KIES,
Elmira, N. Y.
ISep t. 28, 1881.—ly
• UNION 'HOTEL.
MINER WATKINS, PROPRIETOR.
APING fitted up a new hotel bonding on the site
VI of the old Union flotel, lately destroyed by 'Oro,
I am now ready to receVe and - entertain guests: 'Tho
Union Hotel was into Wed - for a Temperance Howe,
and the Proprietor believes it can be auntained without
grog. An attentivebowler in attendance.
%Vellsboro, Juno 2(1, ISta.
E: i It. KIMBALL,
GROCERY AND RESTAURANT,
') Ono door above tho Moat Market,
ESPECTFULLY announces to the trading
public that ho has a desirable stock of Uro
o ries, comprising, Teas, Coffees, Spices, Sugars,
olasses, Syrups, and all that constitutes a lirst
c ass stock. Oysters in every style at all sea
Wellsbord, Jan. 2, 1 S67—tf.
proof' Excitentont! Johnson impeached, and Bui•
breo's Booots and Shoes triumphant) The subscriber
would say to the people of Westfield and vicinity that
heis manufacturing a patent Boot which ho believes to
possess the following advantage over all others; Ist,
there isnocrimplug; 2d, no wrinkling, saveasthey break.
to the feet; 3d, no tripping. ' short, they are just
tho thing for everybody. Samples on band and orders
s ., tlicitatl. Sole right of Westfield township and Boro'
s cared. Ile has also just received a splendid set of
bithrtoral patterns, latest styles. Come one, come alit
We are bound toiell cheap for cash or ready pay. Shop
o o door south of Sanders & Colegrovo.
Westfield Boro', Feb.l3 ISCA. J. R. EMBREP
WALKER & LATHIiOP,
I ARDWARE,' IRON, STEEL, NAILS,
BELTING, StIVS, CUTLERY,
Carriago and Liarness Trimmings,
Corning. N. Y., Jan. 2, 1867-Iy.
HEAR YE I HEAR YE HEAR YE
BARRELS, FIRKINS, CHURNS,
BUTTER TUBS, &e.,
Rept constantly on hand, and furnished to Jr
W. T. MATHERS;
at his now store, 2d door above Roy's Building,
Wellsboro. (Juno 10, 1868.)
MILE Buffalo Platform Scales, all , ordinary
sizes, far heavy; and - counter - Usti,' 'ratty be
found at the Hardware Store of Was. Roberts,
Wellsboro. These Scales are the Fairbanks pat
ent and have no snperior anywhere. They are
madoin the hest style and have taken tho premi
um at all the groat exhibitions.
I have the sole agency for these Scales in this
region. WILLIAM ROBERTS.
Wellsboro, Fob. 12, 1968.
170, 172, 174, & 176 GREENWICH ST.,
THE UNDERSIGNED takes rqeap:
ure in announcing to his numerous friends
and patrons that from this dato, the charge of
tlie Pacific will be $.2,50 per day.
Being sole Proprietor of this louse, and there
fore free from the too oomthon exaqtion of an
inordinate rent, ho is fully able Oa meet. the
downward tendency of prices without hey falling'
off of service.- „ , •
It will now, as heretofoie ;be his aim to main
tain undiminished the favorable reputation of
the Pacific, which it has enjoyed for many years,
as one of the best of travelors.hotels.
The table will be bountifully supplied with
every delicacy of the season.
The' attendance will be fo4d efficient and
loc'ation will be found convenient for
those whose business calls theta in the lower
part of the city, being ono door north of Cort
land Street, and ono block west of Broadway,
and of ready access to all Rail Road and Steam
Dec. 2, 1868—em JOHN I'ATTEN.
.New TobaCco Store 1
liC subreriber has tit t ) rci. up the rooms aa
joining a. P. Roberts! fin and Srove Store
fur the manufacture and snle of
CIGARS, (all grordes), Fancy and Common
SMOKING TUBA COO, Mich igun Fine Cul
CHEWING, and all kinds of
PLUG TOBACCO, PIPEd, and the choi
ced Brand of CIGARS.
and see for yourselco , -.
JOHN W. PURsEL.
Wollsburo, Nov. 11, isr,s— tr.
"DLit RUN PLASTER.-We hereby certify
JUJ that we have used the P)astermanu factored
by Chatopney Bernauor, at their works on Elk
Run, in Gaines township, and \ sve believe it to be
equal if not superior to the Cayuga Plaster.
David Smith S M Conable A P Cone
M H Cobb lI E Simmoila Bernatter -
G W Barker Asa - Smith E Strait
S B Davis Albert King' John C 31111er
J H Watrous Wll Watrous L L Marsh
R M Smith OA Smith H M Foote
J D Stanit. P C Van Gelder 3 J Smith
Jared Davis J F Zimmerman C L Kin" .
L L Smith.
N. B.—Plaator always on hand at the
Price $6 per ton. Nov. 4, 1888.
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11111111111111111111111111MIBORO, PA., - APRIL 21, 1869.
ALL KINDS OF GILT WORK
.1123 ca co t lEs els *LILL cr e, os..
Scales! Scales ! Scales !
I believe if I should die,
And you should kiss my eyelids when I lie
Cold, dead and duulb to all tho world contains,
The folded orbs world open at thy breath,
And from ire in the aisles of death
Life v,oull come ,gladly, back along my
I believelt worei*dead; — •
And you upon my lifeless heart should tread
Not knowing what the poor clod chanced to be,
It would find sudden pulse beneath tho touch
Of him it ever loved in life so much,
And-throb ngain , warta tender, true to thee, -
I believe If en ray grave "
Hidden in woody deeps, or by.the Wave,
Your eyes should drop some, warm tears of regret,
From every salty seed dr your dear grief ; ,
Some fair sweet blossom would leap into leaf;
To prove death could not make my love forget.
I Lelieve if I should fade*
Into those mystic realms where light is .= :de,
I would conic forth upon the hills of night, -
And.gather stars like faggots till thy ,
Led by' LW.; Wan'On hlar.e, fell full on tact.%
I believe my faith in thee,
Strong as my life, so nobly placed to be,
It would as soon expeot to see the aun
Fall like a dead king from his height sublime,
His glory stricken from the throne of time,
As thee unwoithy,thiiAiorabip• Ilion bast won
I believe who has not loved
Math half the treasures of his life unproved;
Like one who, with the grape within.hie.grasp,
Drops it, with crimson 'Juice =Primed,
And alits loseioutreweetnele left ungneseed,
Out from his careless and unheeding clasp.
I believe love, pure and true,
'ls to the soul a sweet, immortal dew
That gems life's petals in, its hours of dusk;
The wailing•tiiikelli sae
The rich'efciViiloWel,Vvo of Paradike;
Whcn life falls from us like a withered husk.
litiorvnatt : epoo . geilding.
" Wba,t,tline is it,. ladeline?'! asked
Gaffer HitChedeli, .cittefully Aiding the
evening paper, and placing it on the
The person addressed—a tall, slender
woitiati about fifty-five—looked up from
her knitting, and answered, with a
pleamnt smile :
" About half-past eight, I believe,"
and rising, began to put away her work.
Gaffer's cinestipia . had been for the
last six years theSigual - for retiring to
rest, and although it was fully an hour
and a half before the usual hour, Mad
eline never thought for a moment of
hesitating to obey.
" Something has occurred," she
thought, "and he will tell mo • before
long ; for Gaffer had looked at his watch
at eight, and a few minutes after, and
at a quarter past had changed • his hair,
and coughed uneasily,
and now he
asked, "What time is it?"
Madeline was the orphan daughter of
an old schoolmate; Gaffer had taken
her home with him when she was only
ten years old, and his sister had cared
for her with motherly solicitude, until
sbo.was wooed. and won by Frank Rey
nolds, and went toll, distant city to
G'affer had made a terrible. to-do "about
her marriage, called her an ungrateful
good-for nothing, and declared it was
proper punishment for taking her in
the beginning; but nevertheless, spar
ed no expense on the wedding trous
seau. And when, about nine years af
ter she came back to her old home, wid
dowed and childless, she was tenderly
welcomed by the lonely man, for the
o.ras , 3 waved over the grave of the good,
r 3 •
For six years she had kept house for
him; cared for him, humored him, and
made everything bend to his comfort
as few daughters ever. do. Lovers, she
had in plenty ; those Who would at any
moment, have laid heart, fortune and
hand at her feet; and when Gaffer
heard that Madeline had refused - them,
he chucaled at their discomfiture, and
smoothed her soft brown- hair, telling
her she was a good girl,. every way
worthy of their love, only he knew that
she never would leave him.
He bad grown so accustomed to see
ing her happy, contented face' by the'
opposite side of the fire, with some. kind
of work in: her, hands, that occupied
neither brain nor attention, but left her
always free to listen to him when he
or play' Chess - When the whim
seizedhim, that-he felt no fear at the
attentions she received. He Seldeni
spent an evening from home unless
Madeline was with • him-; and thad
never left his native city sinoeshescame
home. r Tie was thinking of all this. to
night, 'as he watched her folding,ber
work so carefully.— .
" What are you going to do, Made=
line?" heasked, atlast.
" Going to put away my work," 3 she
" What are you putting it away for?" .
" You asked-me the time, and • that is
equivalent to saying `.l,amAireii i
Madeline, go to : bed." _
"No, it ain't," said Gaffer, gruftlyi'
"come back-here, I - want - to - talk with
you. • There, let • the: ;knitting-work
alone; what Is• it thati,Y;oo are In .such
hurry to finish It?"
." Stockings," answered Madeline,
sententiously ;. "stocitiliga for Madeline
- " Haim% you any- more,. that, you
make such aTuss aboutthit phi r
" Yes, I have a pair on, I believe, and
in case of antmergency I could borrow,-
of von." - ' -
Gaffer sat for a few
,moments in per
fect silence ; at last, with a violent effort
and with very much the air of a man
who had Just made up his mind to
to have a tooth pulled, said :
" Maddy, I am going-a Way." .
"Going away ?" she repeated; "where
to, pray ?"
The tone of surprise in which -the
question was asked fully satisfied Gaff
er of the importance of the revelation.
" - yes! lam going to New York ;
Bon neh ue is going to be married on New
Year's Day, and wants me tobe grooms
man. Who would have thought old
Bonnehue would have got_ married at
last; why, he's at least ten years older
than I, and I run most fifty. You see,
daddy, child, your old bachelor friend
is not too old to get marriedyet. Dread
ful pity leap year is 'most over; here I
am, a hale, hearty man r inple prime of
life, with plenty of money to support a
wife, and no wife forthcoming. But
what makes you so quiet—don't you
want use togo?"
No," said 'Madeline gravely, "I
would rather you would not go ; I had
made different calculations for New
Year's; in fact I rather think of getting
married myselfy , •
"Madeline. are you crazy ?" and Gaf
fer fairly bounded in his chair with
astonishment., "Why, what will be
come of h ouse? what will become
of ? I'll starve, I know I shall !"
" You might live with me," remark
ed Maddy, in tile same grave, business
"You know very. well," said Gaffer,
testily, "that I never could live with
another man in the house; I should
put him out before the honeymoon was
over. And who may the happy man
be? some blind old dotard? some con
ceited dandy? some lame) mendicant?.
some lazy vagabond, who sings love
ditties to carry away o d Gaffer's mon
Gaffer did not stop fog breath, but for
lack of sufficiently exiiressive words to
convey his detestation.of_ the iprojected
• "N 0,".( said - Madeline ; "he ~ is not
blind ,'-or lathe or 'seeking after your' for
tune." She hesitated for a moment,
and then continued slowly, "he' is
neither very young
_cr, very old,_ very
ki - tid: cif.very'eress;._ ver y_ good or • very
bad, very rich or very Poor—but I think
ho likes me."
" Of courze he has to I d you so in most
affecting tones-;" mutt red , pafter
"No," she said quiet y, "he has not.
"Madeline, are you razy? or going
into a dotage? Why di you not tell me
that you were so anxioue to get married Z
'and I would have advertised in all the
daily papere_for 'a suitable lover, for a
widow not I.ery far advanced ,n life,
well preserved, and , anxious to leave
Gaffer Hitchcock.", Wl4 did you not
tell.rhe all?" and his face clouded woe
fully:' "It's too bad, Muddy ! I would
ave , believed(' you would .go
ad enongla' to leave me
ekaut now, now,
hink better of
when sister was
why Maddy ! Maddy.
it—do, and don'tleaVe Me _ .
Madeline's fingers worked nervous. j ,
how she longed for the knitting work !
"Gitilbri'?,:„shis ',said ;without looking
up, "Perhaps to-morrow you will not
feel so badly about it. It is no sudden
thing my determination to get married ;
I have thought about it for over ayear,
and yet last night I would have' said,
there was no telling when the wedding
would take place."
Poor Gaffer seejned perfectly: . tmdope
at tlie l -:iiati?Madeliffe lied'imparted, but
at her last words he started from his
seat, a drawing up a chair took a seat
in front ofher. "Itis nottoolatethen,"
hecsaid, - . his face - radiant ,- with hope.
"You can yet retreat; by the mem
ory of past dayS; by the solemn agree
ment I entered into with your father,
to guard his little girl by all the years
I have loved and striven to serve, do
not leave me now ; you know - that it
would 14-tak,lngaWaytiiy - life to. part
With ybtr:"'ll - e - tdok the - two cold hands
in his. "Will you leave me? dare you
leave me?" Still no answer. "If you
would be happy away from me, my
dear girl, say so, and Gaffer willuot say
another. Word •, • Speak ' Maddy; 'speak ;
don't mind nie."
The face of the woman was averted,
but the words, though soft and tremu
lous, were distinctly heard by the anx
ious man before her. "I never said I
was-going to.leave you.. If-ever I mar
ry again;it will be to be :forever , neat'.
The look of anxiety en Gaffer's face
gave place to•one of bewilderment, and
then utter astonishnient. "Do you
mean what-you say ?";he asked.
"Ido ; and it is for you to judge
whether he is a blind, 'old dotard, a con
ceited dandy, or after Gaffer's money."
Then Gaffer rose, walked across the
room and took his old seat, picked up
the evening paper, and asked "What
time is it?"
" Half-past nine. Good night."
"Good night as if
.I, lothing had oc
cured ; and Madeline ut the knitting
in her work-basket and lo . ft, tuv
1 ng, aura Lour,
the bell was rung, and Gaffer walked
down to the breafast table in dressing
gown and slippers fo tee Madeline ar
ranging the cups and saucers in her
own quiet, precise way ; they talked
very quietly together until Madeline
asked : "When are you going to New
York Gaffer ?"
"Not . until after the gist of the
month ; for I expect to be married on
NOW Year's Day myself." -
There was nothing more said, and if
Maddy ate little, Gaffer ate less. "Mad
dy," he said, when they had adjourned
to the library, "you are a very sensible
girl,laud I never knew before last night
that'l needed a wife; but I am fifteen
years older than you, and what will the
world say ?"
" You suit me," she answered, put
ting up her face for a kiss ; "and we
wilt not invite the 'world' to the wed
CAR SCENE.—Stranger.—"l say, con
ductor, do you know what that good
looking lady is there with'the book?"
Conductor.—" Yes, I've seen her n few
times.'' - :
" By Joire;• she's splendid."
"Yes, I think she is."
`.` Where does she live?"
" In Chicago, I believe."
"I'd like:to occupy that seat with
" Why don't you askher "
" I did not know. I:l4:what. it would
be out of order." j ,
" It would not be if she Is. willing to
have' you. Occupy 4. Of course you
claim; td be 'a gentleman."
" Oh;Uortaitily.: If you are acquain
ted with;lier, - giye me an "introduction ;
that is, If you, have no objections."' ,
" Certainly not."
" How far isshe going; do - you know?"
' " Rochester, I believe."•
" Give—mar-an introduction - by all
means." -," ' • •
Fiking his hair, and moustache and
whiskers. ifi becoming style; he followed
the Condkfctor, when on reaching the
Seatwber,e_oo.liidy.iat, said, with a pe
"My wife, of New York,
who..assures-me h e will die before reach=
.Ing Detroit-if-he doe not form.yourac
• The gentleman s metered, stuttered,
grew red in the face faltered out some
excuse', and retinlie to his seat; leav
ing the lady in com any with her hus
band to enjoy ':,the' oke. While they
were talking, the . , an left his seat,
came up, and said : -
"All right, Mr, Conductor, •I owe
you one ! It' you'll give me your ad
dress, 1 - will send you a basket of cham
pagne, if you will not say .anything
about - this ; and if you want anything
to drink before the champagne comes,
we Will stop at the first station
A FAcT FULL
is the finest hit we
ent popular distind
ion and morals :
In a religious exc tement in Boston,
a person met a Christian neighbor, who
took him by the baud and said—
" I have become a Christian."
" You are a christian, • then, all at
once," said the of er ; you profess to
act•strictly on Chri tiara piinciples. I
am' glad of it. congratulate you.
Suppose we now h ve a settlement of
our little accounts between us, Pay me
what thou owest."
"No," said the new-born child, turn
ing on his heel, "religion is religion,
and business is business."
So the paper telly us. And •what is
there so wonderful about it? uot - the
world full of such christiauity 7
mons, was recent!
chester Railroad •,
explained, on bel
needed a carpet hs
ings at a hotel. I
A newspaper ar
the rounds o f the
—Where is your
"Where 1 Daddy
• MEANING.--Et re
I 'aye seen at th pree
'satchel, full of ser
stolen at the Ro
• pot, and the thief
?.ng caught, that he
in order to get lodg
'lel° has been going
tress of late headed :
Boy at night ?" An
another article on
t Night ?"
(For the Agitator.]
Man an Electrical Machine.
In the last number I gave some details
iu regard to the operations as manifest
ed in the Auroral Lights, showing that
these manifestations are not eqnstant,
but irregularly periodical, and that as a
general rule they appeared simultan
eously both in the northern and south
ern,F,hernisphei s'; that whenever this
display of 'ele tricity took place, the
magnetie - need e was disturbed and that
they frequently operated very powerful
ly upon the telegraph wires and instru
ments. I , have also stated that north
ern Auroral Lights occupied a certain
zone of .the earth; near the centre of
which is the magnetic pole, • I also, quo
ted the theory of IDe la five, which is
adopted by Professor Loomis, that there
are currents orpOsitiVe-rising froM the
equatorial , waters - and ascending :into
the higher regions of, the , atmosphere,
whence they are carried north and aduth
towards the poles,•graduaily descending
till they met, coming up from the-au
rend zone, the negative _electricity of
the earth , and by their neutralization
causing the auroral lights.
I also•• attempted to 'show that 'the
Tts adduced by 'Prof. Loomis,: instead
two currents, furnished ev
^f but one eurren tor set
- setl . 9 pole to rang
,. -‘l•enared to
of currents from 1-117
netle pole, 'and yet fam n
say thatit shows either:
- In this number the question . to be dis
cussed is t .whether there is anything in
animal lite, analogous to terrestrial mag
netism or electricity. •
The atiroral lights, or perhaps the elec
trieltrotwhlch - the auroral iights - are
the manifestation affect the magnetic
needlei deflecting it from its normal po
The Torpedo Vtilge,ris; one, 9f the Ray
fishes "is stionglY electrical.' The .rapid
circulation of the blood :seems' to be an
essential - condition- for the abundant
production of electricity in this -fish.
Such, at least* the conclusion which
appears to result from the anatomy of
the electric apparatus of these animals,
so richly provided' with blood' vessels.
- There is always arapid - discharge of
electricity whenever this animal is ex
cited, and its electric discharges-com
niumcate to the magnetic needle so vi
olent a deflecting force, that it makes
the cireLit of the dial plate several times.
ThiS electrical discharge of the Tor
pedo, only manifests itself occasionally,
precisely as in the case of the electrical
or auroral lights. •
The" electrical eel or gymnotus dis
plays the same phenomena. So also,
several ether electrical fish. -
M. Moreau, a French Scientist of ern
inence has devoted much time to the
study of these electrical fish, and has
come to the conclusion that le nerves
that read •to the electrical apparatus,
perform the same fUnctions as, the oth
er nerves in their operation on the mus
cles, and that,the discharge of electricity
is produced by the action of the nerves
upon the muscles of the electrical ap
We find coming up from the earth
electrical discharges which deflect the
needle, and the same phenomena
animals ; and we find
trninrl,3 there la
electrical apparatus furnisheu
fully with blood vessels, carrying the
blood to and from this apparatus.and
nerves which act on the muscles of the
apparatus to produce discharges of elec
Now as the analogy holds holds as far
as we can investigate, may we not rea
sonably conclude that it holds through&
out., and that the earth has also the
same, or analogous internal apparatus.
Another thought suggests itself in
this connection. To produce a plentiful
supply of electricity in these electrical
animals, requires 'a plentiful supply of
blood which is furnished abundantly
by their innumerable blood vessels ; and
these discharges powerfully deflect the
needle. The human heart, the blood
fountain of the body, also deflects the
needle. The auroral lights also deflect
the needle, and the centre of these au
roral lights is, as to the earth, analo
gous to the position of the heart in man
and other animals. '
It seems tome that if we could exam
ine the Interior of this vast body on
which we live, we should find all these
analogies carried out, but on a vast
scale proportioned to its size.
But you will perhaps say, that in
general there are no manifestations of
electricity or magnetism in the animal
body, and that these few fishes are only
Suppose you reflect a moment? Did
you ever curry your horse after dark
and observe the very small scintillations
of light from the hair t lind hearthe rap
id discharges of electricity in the slight
cracking sound? Did you ever *card
your' xen or c'bws when the same phe
nomena occurred ?
When the atmosphere becomes drier
than it is now, rub your hand over the
back of a cat in the dark and see the re
sult. I_presume you have observed it
often. Did you ever comb your hair in
certain states of .the atmosphere, and
hear the incessant electribal discharges?
Sometimes you have been obliged to
wet your hair to get rid of the electricity
and make it;lie,smooth.
I Presume many a warm hearted
young lady, and old ones too, in a dry
cold evening, when she took off her silk
dress and gave it. a 'shake to . make it
come out straight, has been surprised to
see the sparks of fire emitted, and- to
hear the crackling sound of the silk.--:
And what Is , that but electricity, that
has been arrested by the non-conduet
ing silk when retreating from the
body of the lady, to find in the positive
electricity of the atmosphere, its oppo
site, and yet its most congenial com
I think it is very well established
that all animal life is more or less elec
trical, and I am inclined to.believe that
in man, there are more surprising elec
trical phenomena than in either the
Torpedo or the Gymnotus.
I know that a great many follies have
been practised under the shadow of an
imal magnetism and a great many crude
notions and fanatical ideas have been
entertained In regard to it., Yet it is
nevertheless true that man is it magnet
ic animal; that many of the common
and yet almost unaccountable opera
talons of life are the result of this elec.
tro-magnetic power. It is contin ally
exerted, yet seldom abnormally. It is
as much a part and requisite of human
life as the flesh, the blood, or the bones.
sometimes its phenomena are under
the control and subject to the will of
him who possesses it ; and Will not
say that there are not those who by
their magnetic power can control oth
ers. I am inclined to think they can :
certainly so if it be correct to say that
such or such a speaker has a great deal
of magnetism in his voice, or that such
a speaker writes a good address, but his
delivery is without any magnetic force.
M. Moreau, spoken of above, has
shown that the nerve acts upon the
muscle and causes an electrical dis
charge. On the muscle of a dead frog
or other animal recently killed, the elec
tricity excited by a galvanic battery
will act and cause the muscle to mani
fest all the signs of life:
According to Baron Von Reich en bal
and others, the emanation of electricity
from the human body, especially from
the ends of the fingers can e distinctly
seen by very sensitive persons in a dark
room. In a dark night, es fecially in a
dry state of the atmosphere when snow
is falling, persons with woolen mittens
on, sometimes s?e electricit • emanating
from the hands and running out on the
small fibres of the wool. I have once
witnessed this phenomenon upon my
self, when the woolen mit ens seemed
to be covered all over with small fibres
An electrical, current c
listed between two persons
electrified by placing 'the
feet of the one in contact w
The hair of the head seams to be es
paecially provided to carry o tho super
abundant electricity excite by the op
erations of the brain. To e convinced
that there Is a current of eleqtricity from
the head through the haht, you , have
only to comb up a child's or young - per - -
son's hair lOosely, and hring the ends of
your lingers within half ar inch of it,
when the hair will be very sensibly at
tracted towards your finger .
Insulate a person of a V ry electrical
temperament upon fourgi ss tumblers.
This may be done placing he tumblers
on the floor and laying a board upon
them. The person insulated becomes
soon surcharged with electricity;
hair begins to rise upon end, sparks are
sometimes_einitted-froth it, and bring
ing the ends of the fingers near the
cheek of a bystander and a smart shock
is felt as from an electrical machine.
7i. ht multiply - theproofs that man
is elec ' • but the above are anal
cient for the purpose of showing that in
that respect the earth and animal life
, , I
Wellsboro, Pa., April 14 1869. -
' A Matheinatical Joke
A Yitle student writes to the College
" Once I had my revenge on mathe
matics, not on abstract mathematics,
but on mathematics concrete and im
personate. The creature was a caculus
man (a kind of suicide,) it d had taken
prizes., I hated ifim. I as standing
in front of the eZcellent b ok and sta
tionary emporiuM of 'Me srs. Brown
& Gross, in ,the flourishi ig town of
Hartford, thirty-six miles iortb, when
I saw the wtetch coming d wu Asylum
street from the depot. It ad' a carpet
bag in its dexter grip, and was evident
ly just from Aeademus. I . .i‘, y eye rested
on policeman X, who wits -tinning his
manly form on the adjathent owner. I
beckoned to him. He came with state
ly tread. -
"X, my boy," said I, pointing to the
approaching Archimedes, "do you see
that chap with the carpet-bag?"—itself
a suspicious circumstance.
"Yes," says X.
" He's - a suspicious character."
" Confidence cove?" asks X, survey
ing him with a practical eye.
" lco," said L " The inference does
credit to your sagacity, bu't he'd worse
than a confidence man." .Here I ap
proached my mouth to its ear, and
whispered impressively : "He .took a
mathematical prize last summerin New-
Haven. I'll swear to it."
A look of puzzled horror slowly over
oeinewhat immobile counte
" Where did he Cake it from g- - _
" Off a hall table. He was nabbed
coming out with it."
By thi3 time my unconscious victim
had arrived opposite. I saw a look•of
stern determination mingled with sly
acuteness, steal' into X's face, and
grasping his billy, lie stalked suddenly
across the street and tapped my Mathe
matician on the shoulder. I vanished
at once into Brown & Gross', and began
turning over some plates of Dore,'s on
the counter. After some littlo conver
sation I saw my prey walk off, looking
red kind indignant, while Dogberry
solennilir recrossed the street, wearing au
expre4ibn of quiet satisfaction as for
" WII?" said I, reappearing.
"H'S a sly one, Guvnor," said X,
"but - he can't gum the Hartford boys.
He may come it over them New-Haven
pleesmen. Them kind's mostly Pad
dles ; but he can't gum me, by golly !"
"What did 'you say to him ?" I
asked. - -
Says I, " Look a'here, my covey.,
you're known here, you are. You will
take the next train south if you know
what's healthy for you„"
" What in thunder do you mean ?"
" How about that little mathematical
prize that you took in brew -Haven last
summer ?" says I, and he c-I tipped him
a wink kinder knowin r I guess that
astonished hiM some ; le just looked
sick, you bet. So I no ded my head
at him, :tied says I :
" Yoti'd better be •ke rful now, my
covey, for Number Xha got his eye on
you, and he's up to a dodge or two, if
you be froM New-Havu," and with
that I came across the street, and I
guess ho won't play any of his prize
tricks in Hartford. Much obliged to
you, sir, for putting me up to him. 77.
Robert Simson, the Scottish mathe
matician, was noted for his absent
mindedness. He used to sit at his
opened window on the ground floor,
deep in geometry, and When accosted
by-a beggar would rouse ( himself, hear
a few wordS of the story I make his do
nation, and dive. Som wags one day
stopped a medicant on ,l is way to the
window with." Now ! a as we tell you
and you will get somet ing from that
gentleman, and a shilling from us be
sides. He will ask who you are, and
you will say Robert Sinison, son of
John Simson of Kirktonhill.” The
man did as he was told; Simson gave
him a coin and dropped) ofl: He soon
roused himself and said, "Robert Sim
son of Kirtonbill ! why, that is myself!
that man must be an impostor !"
THE MAN W.llO HAD "GAUGED IT
DOWN.—Said a veteran , drinkiA once,
"I have mingled with f drinking men
all my life and have enjoyed a very
extensive acquaintance with the class.
In fact, I have known' few outside of
them, but I never knew but •one man
who had gauged the btAiness down to
a scientific nicety. He knewjust'when
to drink, just where td trink, an just
how much to drink, and never ; upon
any occasion did ho det iate from i what
long experience, had t night him• was
the thing to do. Yes,[ sir," said the
veteran drinker, reflectively, "I never
anew but one man that had gauged it
down to a complete sy:teni."•
" But what became o,
(wired with some iute6
"Oh ! he died—it kill
Ifyou and your swot
the marriage question,
she against it, don't ti‘
its being a tie.
The hopping atoll
bend in a ball-room re
Wy of a kangaroo tryi
attacks of sand fleas.
Diggory says he al+
uge, except when soul
with a pair of tough. o
It was the face for a tragedy—dark,
passionate, melancholy. The ,mouth
was sweet; the eyes, so dark and lumi
nous Elbe chestnut brown hair, SO ut
terly'beautiful: Yet the looked so in
nocent of her fate, standing there in the
red light of the damask curtains all un
conscious of Lloyd Kingman's eyes,
that one could not but hope she would
pass unscathed the ordeal of that bad
When - she felt• his lined touch - her
shoulder she started.
' Mr. Kingman
Her soft eyes dilated—she attempted
to retreat, but he prevented the move
' n be estab
th those of
Don'theafraidof me; child. I have
something to say to you.'
Her face was not encouraging, but he
overlooked, as.•was characteristic, her
1 love you. I want you to be my
wife. Don't shrink from me in that
way. You 'have nothing to be afraid of.
I want to take care of' you and make
She stood silent, trembling.
' You do not know where 'I live. It
is a beautiful place, full of trees and
fountains, and arbors covered with
blossomed vines. The house is full of
warm, rich rooms, where you could
wander all day, and constantly find
Something new and beautiful. There,
is a little boudoir, robed in crimson,
that has always been waiting for my
Wife. It has pictures and couches, and
soft swinging lights hi alabaster, for
dark winter nights like this. There is
a splendid library, holding thousands
of volumes, Madge. You love to read,
I know. There you will find all the
fairy tales, and poetry that you want,
little one, Will you come ?,
She shook her head, tremblingly.
' You need not promise now. Listen.;
I have something more to tell you.—
Madge, I have 'wealth and power, but
no one to love me. You can make me
happy. Is that any consideration to
your kind heart ?'
Sheilfted her eyes to his face. They
But I do not love you,' she said
' Let me teach you,' he said.
She tried to think;. drew a quick
Don t' tbe troubled,' he said. I will
give you all the time. you want. Only
wear this to remember me by, for I am
going away to-morrow, to be absent
As ho spoke lie slipped a golden, cir
clet on- her little band—a ring of dia
monds, glittering like name.
At the same moment some one enter
ed the room—the public boarding-house
parlor- 2 am] Madge escaped, bewildered,
oblivious of everything but her ',furi
ously beating heart and the weig it of
jewels upon her hand. :
She locked herself in her room, th ow
ing herself upon the bed,)and burying
herself in the pilliows; but that did
not prevent her hearing the wheels of
Mr. Ki ng,man's couple grind away from
the door. He came there often, but she
never knew that she had been the at
traction. She saw it all now, it made
She-lay there a \ long time, getting
restless at length, and
ly as it grew dark - . ',, -
and ltn:..lt ilocil Y'btlight (1 4)ittle lamp ,
light fell into it as she crew out a liTtl
box.and opened it. Sh turned some
lettert.rover hastily, and drew out a pho
It Was c mau's head—,za frank young
face, every line pure, and \high toned.
The girl looked at it with swimming
' Martin, how 'could yoji forget?' she
Then she laid the box away, and
walked the floor until utterly exhaust
A .week of daily toil and care—the
old round—brought tlio girl's resolu
tion. She looked at the sparkling ring,
and saw ease, comfort, protection ; on
the other side was only loneliness and
toil. e )
. The alternative that should hav
been was not; The soldier lover had
proved false ; the mashe did love with
all her heart had forget-ten her ; the ro
mance was ended, and.here was a blank,
,but for this new episode, .
She looked at herself in the mirror as
she daily brushed out the waves of her
beautiful hair, and saw low the rose
had faded upon . her else k in the last
year, and how the shados seemed to
have gathered around her yes.
" Martin will come bac some day in
shoulder straps and spurs , )Itb. a South
wife upon leis arm, add I shall
such a pale shadow, that he will even
wonder that he ever called me pretty,!
she thought, and pride strengthened
Kingman's cause. 3.
When he came, . the girl's promise
was gained without difficulty.
She seemed, to lose herself after that.
The novelty of her position gave her a
new existence. It was so strange to
have anything worth caringfor but the
old, wearing thought, Martin. Rolls
of rich goods appeared in her little
room ; flowers and billets followed
them. Lapped in the velvet cushions of
the luxurious coupe, she rolled out of
the dingy city into the free breadth of
the country where the blue birds had
come, and the skies were growing soft
She was young—not ready, after all,
to give up life for you. It was so pleas
ant to be taken care of, wealth brought
so much that was gratifying!
So she drove with Lloyd Kingman to
a clergyman's house one evening—was
made a wife. Then the horse's head
was turned to a splendid hotel, where a
luxurious suite of rooms were provided
for two rainy days.
He was her husband. She tried to re
alize it as he shut the rosewood behind
them, and quietly took off the wrap-
Pings which had pr tected her from the
murky night. He drew a cushioned
chair before the Om ing grate.
' Sit down, love, and get warm. I
will be back in a moment.'
Inn sort of dream she saw him go
out. Slowly she glanced around the .
exquisite room. Velvet carpets, snowy
draperies,•glowing faces upon canvass,
the wreath of glittering lights, suspen
ded from the corniced ceilings, showed
she hmiled. The warmth was luxur
ious ; the place seemed to smile upon
Nearly an hour passed, and Kingman
did not return.
She rose at last, passed softly to the
window and looked.
The street was brk , ht with gas. The
crowd surged to and fro beneath it.
' Olt God!' she cried suddenly.
She turned, then silawlied her cloak
from a couch, and fled num the room.
She flitted down the broad stairs, and
out at the en trail CC into the chilly night.
She ero z .:Aed the street under the heads
of dashing horses, and knew nothing
but the law beyond—Martin's face,
pale,and ,ad and abstracted, as he
slowy walked the pavement. She
must look at him—speak to hint. IA a
moment more she 'mai : Tallied the curb,
reached him, grasped his arm.'
HO started, clasped 'her harids, and
drew her aside.
inn. we in
;theart yote upon
. you for it and
tter yourself as
'id . of a Grecian
,1 Inds one forci•
fi g to escape the
For her fitee was pale, and wild, and
pitiful, upturned to his, ae dung the
ys respects old
one cheats him
TIIADGE LYNN'S TRAGEDY
The proprietois haVO stocked th s t &bit oh
with a new a -varied assortment of
JOB • AND CARD TYPE
AND FAST PRE.1381113,
and are prepared to execute neatlyand proniptlyj
P.OSTERB, HANDBILLS, CM:IMAMS, BILL
HEADS, CARDS, PAMPHLETS,' .to., Ate.
Deeds, Mortgagee, Leases, and afull assortment
of Constables and Justices' Blanbi on hand.
People living at a distance can dependon har
ing their work done 'promptly sent ba kln
folds of his cloak about her, as they
stood in the shadow, and drew 4 er 610 v
ering form close to his side. sh: stretch-.
ed her little bare hands up to is face,
forgetting the jewel upon it.
'Martin, where have you 'heett 50
' , ln Libby, Madge.'
' Then you did not forget me?'
Forget you? Oh, my child t'
Lips to lips, and she a wife
She remembered then •, turned to see
her husband looking wildly about from '
the opposite pavement..
' Martin, Martin, save Mel' she
Kingman saved the gleam of her pearl
—legman sal he glea.—
hued dress beneath the arch.
He sprang forwal.d.
They saw him start to cross the stnet;
they saw, also, the foam-white; unman
ageable horses tearing dciwn upon him,
but he saw them not.• He saw only
the pallid face 'of his wife. They struck
him, trampled hini. Madgeeam the
crowd gather about him, thenl saw no
When she returned to coneoi
she was a widow. -
But in time she married thf
JOINING ME MASONS.—Kn bb l° .s " ha o rt f ; -
joined the Masons, and here is his ex
perience In getting into a L dge I
must tell you of the perils and, trigs I
had to undergo to become aMa on. On _
the evening in question I p esen;ted
myself at the door of Lodge doom. No.
38666, sign of the skull and cr ss-bones.
I was conducted to an ante-roin, where
five or six melancholy chaps, in sashes,
and embroidered napkins, were waiting
to receiving me. On my entrance they
all got up and turned back-summersaults
and then resumed their seats: A big
fat fellow who sat in the middle, and
who seemed to be the proprietor, then
said : "Sinner from the other . orld,
advance! I advanced. "Will yo give
up everything to join us? " "No if I
know it," I said; "there are my wife
and fourtegn fine—" Another 'party -
here told me to say "yes," as it was
merely a matter of form. So I said
"Yes, I give up everything." - i y
The fellows in the towers thtln grOan
ed and said : "Tis well. _ Do You swear
never to reveal anything you may see
or hear this evening to any. human; be
ing, or to your wife?" I said, 'Ton my
word, I will not. They then elcamined
my teeth and felt my Ong e, then
groaned again, I said. i 1
" If you don't feel well, fha e mit a
little bottle here." The fat' an here
took the bottle from me and told Ime
to shut up.c He then, in a voice of thun- I.
der, said, "bring in thegoat I" Another'•
fellow then comes up with a ;cloth to i
blind me." No,you don't, Mr.MaSoia," i
I said "no tricks on travelers, if; you
please, I don't believe in playing blind
man's buff with a goat. I'll ride the
devil if you like, but I don't go it blind.:
Stand back, or I'll knock you into
smithereens." They were too much for
me, however, so I had to submit to
being blindfolded.. The goat Was then
led in, and I could hear him make an
aWful, racket among the furniture. I
began: to feel that I - was urgently wanted
at home, but I was in for it, and could_
not help myself. _
. .. __ .
Three or four fellows then seized me,.
and with a demoniacal laugh pitched
me on the animals back, telling me at
the dame time to look out for squalls. I
have been in many scrapes, Mr. Editor;
beegnitfilihi.ll....election fights; I' have
I have gone down in a railway - C - dn'itil3E;
but this-little goat excursion was afiead
of them all. The confounded thing
must. be all wings and horns. It
bumped me against chairs, tables, •and
the ceiling, but it hung on like a Tro
jan. I turned front summersaults and
rolled over. I thought it was all over
with me. I was just on the point of
giving up, as the bandage fell from my
eyes and the goat bounded through the
window with a yell like a•wild Indian
giving up the ghost. I was rn a Lodge
of Masons. They were dancing a war
dano around a big skull, and playing
leap-frog, and turning handsprings,
and4he big fat fellow of the ante-room
was standing on his he i adin the corner.
It is worthy to emulate examples of
contentment. The following little sto
ry may prove a lesson to our juveniles
as well as older readers: Once upon a
time there was a poor woman, who was
left to take care of several small child
ren. One very cold winter night, the
wind piercing through the chinks of
her: , Old log cabin, displaced the rags
that constituted the bpd covering of the
children. The poor Woman Was much
distressed at suffering : from the intense
cold, when, a i happyl,idea occurred - to
her, and proaeding !to the cellar, she
unhinged a large door which, after re
placing carefully the covering oder the
little ones, she placed over all. After
that was done, all was quiet for some
time, until one little urchini sucoeeded
in extricating his head from underneath.
and said : Mother, how I pities all
them poor children what hiiin't got no
' Two gentleman at Saratigo Springs,
last summar, bay' lig a dispnte,kturo went
to the other's door early in!the morn
ing, and wrote , strDundrel updin it. The
other called upon hisneighb r, anawas
answered by a servant that is master
was not .at home ; but if h - ha d any
thing to say he might leave': it with him.
"No, no," said he, "I was only going to
return your master's visit,'as he 14ft his
name at my door in the. morning. '
An honest rustic went into the shop
of a Quaker to buy what-, for which six
dollars was demanded. 11.1oloffered five
dollars. "As I live," said the Quaker,
"I cannot afford to give it thee at that
price "As you • live," exclaimed the
countryman, "then live" more moder
ately, and be hanged Ito you l"
"Friend !" sald the Quaker, "thou shalt
have the hat for nothing. , I .l.Anive sold
hats for twenty dollars, acid my- trick
was never found out till tui*."
Henry Viard Beecher,in ono of ,his
discourses, said that "somo men will
not shav'ta , on Sunday, and yet they
spend all e week in 'shaving' their
fellow me ; and many fools think it
very wicked to black their boots on
Sunday morning, yet they do not hes
itate to black their neighbor's reputa
tion on week days."
A gentleman took his country cousin
to a theatre recently. On coining out
he remarked: "They played well, didn't
they r \The cousin from the rural dis
trict looked round at him mid said: "(X
course they pid, that is what they are
paid to do." There's practical criti
cism for you. I 1
A /Rile boy, some six years-ohi, was
using his slate and pencil' on Sunday,
when his father, who was a minister,
entered and said, "My son, I prefer
that you should not use your slate:o-n
-the Lord's day." "I tun drawing-meet
ing-houses, father," was the propp.tre-
The local editor of an up, the country
paper drew a sewml , machine at a fair,
and now advertises for a good looking
young woman to wino and run it for