I S I ) L' , if • rl , - , 4! • ' / WM. BREWSTER; EDITOR & PROPRIETOR. NEW BOOK AND STATIONERY STORE. n the "Globe" Office Building, Market Square HUNTINGDQN, PA. Tho subscriber respectfully informs the citi. zone of Huntingdon and adjoining c tunties. that he has opened a New Book and Stationery% Store, in the corner room of the "Globe" buil. ding, where may be found a general assort- ; ment of Miscellaneous and School Books and Stationery, all of which he will sell at reason- table prices. He will add to his stock weekly i all Books and articles in demand, and expects :It a short time to have on hand as full a stock of saleable Books, Stationery, &c, as can ho found in any town in the State. Having made the necessary arrangements with publishers, any Book wanted and not up on his shelves, will be ordered and furnished at city prices. As he desires to do a lively business with i t email profits, a liberal share of patronage is solicit ed. Dec.22,%5..tf. VIM. LEWIS. (Estate of Nary ffleively, dec.) ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. Letters of Administration on the estate of Many Shrively, late of Porter township. dee. having been gra ard to the undersigned, all persons indebted to said estate are required to make immediato payment, ane those having claims will present them duly authenticated for settlement to Jacob W. Shively,Adrar, • • N. B.—The Administrator will attend in Alexandria, on the Bth .d 15th days of Jan " ToZtownship, Jan. 5. 1E59. Ayr's Sarsaparilla ronrund remedy, in which we have la- bored 1 twines the most effectual alterative that can he made. It is a concentrated extract Para Sat,aporilla, co combined with other si:l;ptefflees of still greater alterative power as to laird an effective antidote for the diseases Sorraparilla is reputed to cure. It is believed that sitel: a remedy is wanted by those who suffer from Strumnus complaints, and that one which will aceranyliali their cure must prove of immense rcrvieo to this largo class of our • ; afflicted fellow-citizens. How completely this ; compound will do it has been proven by roper- hunt on many of the worst cases to be found • of the ft:firming complaints:— SCROFULA AND tiCCOPULOUS COMPLAINTS, Itinerrioxs AND Ent:rave. DISEASES, ULCRIIS, nue:Jig, Btormyes, Towns, SALT RUM!, Scorn Snittime AND SYPUILIFIC Ar rar.:lo::s, llententer, Dianne, Dnorsx, Neu a.s.l.en ox Tie DOULOCRFUT, DEBILITY, Dos. Port, axe Nolo es•rtox, ERYSIPELAS, Rosn or se: AxriroKy's 1 and indeed the whale class of complaints tri log from letruurry oil Trio Tli.oou. This compound will be found a great pro tiv:t•7 of health, when ink., in the spring, to ex1. , 1 the foul humors which fester in tho b1. , - , thr.:•rason ofthe year. By the time :, evpolsion of them runny rankling disorders are nippeel iu the bud. Multitudes can, by the aid of this remedy, space themselves from the endurance of foul eruptions and ulcerous sere , , thiouglk which tho system will strive to rid itself of corruptions, if not assisted to do this through the natural channels of the body by an alterative medicine. Cleanse out the vitiated blood whenever you find its impurities bursting tl trough the skin in pimples, eruptions, or sores; cleanse it when you find it is ob struct,' and sluggish in the veins ; cleanse it whenever it is foul, need your feelings will tell you when. Been where 110 partiunlor disorder is felt, people enjoy better health, and live longer ' for cleansing the blond. Keep the blood healthy, need all is well; but with this pahnlum of life disordered, there can be no lasting health. Solner or later something must go wrong, and the great machinery of life is disordered or overthrown. Sarsaparilla has, and deserves much, the nslmtxtion, of acromplishing these ends. But the v.sbrld has been egregiously deceived by ir,parations of it, partly becaus - e the drug alone, has not ell the virtue that is claimed for it, hut more because many preparations, pretending to he concentrated extracts of it, contain Lot little if the virtue of Sarsaparilla, or any thing else. During into years the public have bee, mis led by large bottles, pretending to give a quart of 'Extract of Sarsaparilla for one dollar. Most of these hove been frauds upon the sick, for they not only contain little, if ally, Sarsapa rilla, brit often no curative properties whatev er. Hence, bitter and painful dirappnintrnt ut has followed the acre of thq various extracts of rampacilla which flood the market, until the name itrrlf it justly de=piscd, and has become synonymy,. with rim:coition and cheat. Still we call this compound Sarsaparilla, and intend to rnpply sneh a remedy en shall rescue olio name from the lend of obloquy whirls rests upon it. Ard we think too have ground for ncleving it but victoria which ace inesistible 1w the ordinary rmi of the diseases it is intend ed to cure. In rester to secure their complete eradication from the system, the remedy should he ;ludic ion,-ly token according to disco:am on the bottle. Mrs. Wheeler asked him to walk in and be seated. She, of course, supposed he had come after her daug,hter ''Rushiu." 'What do you want of Ruslim ?' asked the old lady. 'To make hats,' was the reply. 'To trim hats, I suppose, you mean,' re* sponded Mrs, Wheeler. 'No, for the outside of hats,' replied the It st CO. I hatter. ntrAttrn * it 11. • .1T . C LOWELL, MASS. - Pr. • , i , I. per Bottle y . Mx Bottles for s's, Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, won fur itself torch n renown for tiro core of rrery vorir ty of lire, raid Lung complaint, that i! is entirely unnere,ery for us to reemitit the cadence of its %Limes, wherever it hos been As it hva long Levu in constant use tlAZuglmt,t recti.n, Or neva not do more than assure lie reople ita Vality is kept up to the Lett it coon 1,0 Lein, owl that it may be tilled on to do for their relief ell it has ever been found to do. Ayer's Cathartic Pills, FOR THE COVE OP aoldirtorls, Jaundice, Dyeyeria, Byerittrry, Paul Nemeth, Et yairtlas, Ikadache, Pike, 11l eutnatiano, Pruptione and Shin Macaw, t',;noplaint, Downy, Totter, Tamara and ll'ornta, Gout, Neuralgia, as (3 Dinner Jill, and for Purifying the Blood. They are .71m-coated, no that the most sensi tive can take theta pleasantly, and they aro the heat aperient in the would for all the purposes of a family physic. Price 95 cents par Post 5 Zone for $l.OO. (trent raimbers or Clergymen, Physicians, State.- men, nod eminent per,olmgcs, have lent their names to certify the unparalleled usefulness althea° reme.lies, but our spice here will not permit the linealon of them. The Agents below named Tur- Malt gratis our AIARItICAN ALMANAC in which they are given ; with also full descriptions of the above complaints, nod the treutment that should be fol lowed for their cure. Do not be put off by unprincipled deniers with other preparations they make more protit on. Demand Aykn's, and take no Mbar, 'The sick scant the beat aid there is for them, and they should have it. All our Remedies are for solo by Juan RUA, Agent Wintiugelon, Pa. Yer. le, 1168.-4 y. • cittect go ctrg. WITHOUT. WRITTEN FOR THE SATURDAY EVENING POST. BY FLORENCE I'ERCY, My walk was long and wearisome, Aud bitter was the winter night t I paused before a princely borne Whose rooms were all ablaze with light— I heard the children's joyful din, I saw the smile their mother wore,— For he who latest entered in, Remembered not to shut the door. And there was laughter, and the sweep Of ivory keys by one who song Old songs—such melodies as keep The heart forever warm and young. The sharp wind entered from the street, And crept shoed the velvet floor, Till a soft voice; low•toned and sweet, Said, with a shiver--" Shut the door !" Aye, shut the door shut out the cold, Shut out the snow and bitter wind— Shutout thu friendless and the . Those who have grieved, and striven, and sinned,— Shut nut the loiterers, like me, Who dream of homes which are no more— Shot out all want and misery Ant wrong and suffering;—shut the door! Oh, home—"sweet home----how sadly they Whom wayward- Fate condemns to roam, Wcaring their reiticss lives away, Outside of love, and peace, and home— Fame at thy gates, as I to-night, Calling thy dear name o'er and o'er, Drinking thy music and they light, Until the doom comes—"shut the door Why list the infant's merry shout, Why watrh the mother's loving glance, Oh, homesick soul, thou waiest without, Hindered of thine inheritance? Why yearn mot pine for joys which are Denied to thee forever more? The inaccessMle and far— Love's Land of rromiA3—shut the doer Aye, shut the door—hat I shall keep The memory of the pleasant room, The pictured walls, the curtain's sweep, The carpet's wealth tif woven bloom, The glimpse of faces sweet and fair, 'I he dear ohl song 1 er, d before, The light ppmi !lie children's hole— I hare theta all--now shut the door ! ekct ;).Itisctilaiii. A HAILER IN SEARCH OF RUSSIA FUR. On one occasion a hatter named Walter Dibble called to buy some furs of us, For certain rousons I was anxious to play a joke upon him. I sold him several kinds el fur, including bear, r end conoy. He wan. ted some “Iluvia." l [Ad him we had none, but Niro. kV heeler, whore I boarded, had several hundred pounds. *What on eorth is a woman doing with RUS'ia V he •.rid. I could not answer, hut assured hint that there were 130 pounds of old Rushia and 150 pounds of young llushia to Mrs. Wheeler's house, and under her charge, hut whether it was for sale I could not say.' Oil' he started with a view to make the purchase. He knocked at the door. Mrs. 'Wheeler the elder made her appearance. want to g t your Russia,' said the hatter. , Well, I don't know much about hots, but I will call my daughter,' said the old lady. Passing into another room where Rushia the younger was at work, she informed her that a man wonted her to make hats. he means sister Mary, probably, I suppose he wants some ladies' hats,' re plied Rushia t as she passed into the par lor. •1 suppose you wish to sea my sister Mary ; she is our milliner,' said the your• ger Rushia. wish to Ace whoever own§ the proper ty,' said the hatter. Sister Mary was sent for and soon made her appearance. As soon as she was in troduced, the hatter informed her that he wished to buy "Russia." 'Buy Rushia !' exclaimed Mary, in stir. prise. '1 don't understand von.' 'Your name is Miss Wheeler, I believe,' said the hatter, who was annoyed at the dif ficulty he met with in being understood. 'lt is, sir.' 'Ah ! very well. Is there old and young Russia in the house.' '1 believe there is,' said Nary, surprised at the familiar manner in which he spoke " LIBERTY AND UNION, NOW AND FOREVER, ONE AND INSEPARABLE. " HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23, 1859. of her mother and sister, both of whom were present. 'What is the price of old Russia per pound,' asked the hatter, .1 believe that old Russia is not for sale,' replied Mary, indignantly, 'Well, what eo you ask for young Rus sia 1' purmed the hatter. 'Sir,' said Miss Rushia, the younger, springing to her feet, you come here to insult defenceless females? If you do we will soon call our brother, .vho is in the garden, and ho will punish you as you de serve.' .Ladies !' exclaimed the hatter, in as-1 with his business, little deserves the pat tonishment, .what on earth have I done to 1 ronage of the community in which he offend you? I came here on n business 1 lives; and, as far us we nee corcerned, • matter, I want to buy somAßussia I 1 snob will receive the .cold shoulder.' was told you had old and young Russia in! 7.—lf you have the control of any le the house. Indeed, this young lady just gel advertising, send it to your friend, stilted such to be the fact. but she says the I This kind of business pays Letter than old Russia is not lot sale. Now, if I can any other and the more you can send the buy the young Russia I want to do so—but 1 editor of your paper, the better for hint if that can't be done, please say so. and I and n. In proportion to the amount of the will trouble you no further.' receipts of a paper, is an editor enabled to .Mother open tile door, and let the gen make it useful, !musing and entertain• tleman pass out ;he is undoubtedly crazy,' ing to the community in which it is pub. said Miss Mary. lished. .13y thunder! I believe I shall be if I I B.—no not expect much of 0 .paper remain here long,' exclaimed the hatter. 1 when an editor is driven to be his own considerably excited, 'I wonder if folks ! compositor proof reader, pressman and never do business in these parts, that you ; rind has torus all Over wise every :hick a man crazy if he attempts such a forenoon in the vain search fdr a 'quarter' thing?' to buy something for his dinner. 'Business! poor men,' said Mary sooth ingly, approaching the door. '1 um not a poor man, madam,' replied the hatter. My name rs Waiter ; ' 1 carry nu hutting extensively in Danbury; 1 came to Grassy Plains Li buy fur, null have purchased some beaver and coney, allow it seems I am to be called 'crazy' and a 'poor man' because I want to buy a little 'Russia' to make up an assortment.' The ladies began to open their e yea a lit.; tle. They now that Mr. Dibbles was quite in earnest, ant! his explanation threw con. siderubld light On the subject. 'Who sent you here ?' itslcgd sister Mary. Thc clork at the store opposite•,' was the re ply 'tie is n wicked young fellow for inAcing this trouble,' said• the old lady. 'He bus been doing this for n j,,ke,' she continua. , A joke exclaimed Dibble, in surprise. 'Rave you not got got any Russia then ? •My name is Jerushia, and so is my dau,;hter's,' said Mrs. Wheeler, 'and that I suppose is what ho meant by telling you about old and young Mishits; Mr. Dibble bolted through the door with out a word of explanation. and made direct ly fur our store. 'You young scamp I' he said, as he entered, 'what did you mean by sending me over there to buy Russia 1' '1 did not send you to'buy itushia. I supposed you were either a bachelot or a widower, and wanted to marry Rushia,' I replied, with a serious countenance, 'You lie, you dog, and you know it,' he r. plied ;- 'but never mind, I'll pay you oil for that seine day.' And taking his furs he departed, less ill humored than could have been expected under the circumstances. How to Sustain Your Local Pui►e& l.—Lay aside your fears that the Edi tor will get rich faster than his neighbors.' We have never beard of a twin making'. more than a decent living by a ! Lion of a country newspaper, even if he had ever such good business. A case in point is an acquaintance of ours who had been publishing some six or seven years, has had all the business of hie own town and country, and ti large portion of that of the surrounding; but with all this he gets into as tight pinches for money to buy his white paper with as any other publisher with whom we aro acquainted. 2.—lf the paper agrees with your ways of thinking, subscribe and pay for it, and persuade your neighbors of the same tnind to to and do likewise.' Do not tell the editor to send your paper without paying and when you get to owe two or three dollars tell your friends who speak of it. that the paper is of no account, that it will bust up one oldies() days. The way, un der such a state of the case, to keep a pit -per trom 'busting up,' is for each subscri ber to keep the editor's books free from charges against himself. Once we had to close, and on posting up found booked and outstanding seine $2OO inure th an we had capital invested. This thing of apply. tog the credit system to the newspaper business may be likened to a fanner sell. ing out his crop, a bushel does not seem of any account to the debtor, but the aggre• gate of bushels may make or break the pour delver of the soil. 3.—lf you have a father, mother, broth er, sister or friend of any kind residing at distance, and aro able, subscribe, pay for and send them a copy. 4.-1 f yeti have any printing you wish- We may also state that an Irish family none, do not •jew this editor down ton star. h:d lived in the house, and left it without votive price,' and when he comes to make saying anything about it, previous to the a purchase of you. 'spike en the tariff.' German's going there whose unceremo.l s.—lf-you have any advertising or job ideas exit we noticed a few weeks ago, work to he done, take it to your county pa. and the former now says that they were per, except, perhaps, you may %visit to ad. troubled in the same way as the hater, vi ruse in more than one paper. Hut the cream of the whole affair is that 0. -Do net run ofl to the city to get the Dutchman left a barrel of sourcrout in . your hand-bills, labels, cards, Sc. printed, the cellar which lie dares not go and get ! because forsooth, you can get a reduction Ii is said that several parties of our cit e( a few cents in price. Support your izens have been down to investigate the own as you wish to be supported. A man tarter, but were frightened away by the who is always !wining away from home ...secret manifestations." 9.--110 not expect the editor to make honorable mention of you or your business every few weeks fur nothing. The spnce inn paper, and a man's time, are worth something, and every notico comes bark to the drawer or the recipient m dollam and cents. An editor should not be al, lowed to go hungry, barebacked or bare footed. they, teat drink and wear, just other people.' 10.—If the editor owes you n shilling, do lot chase him Irvin 'ro,y morn to balmy eve' for it, and when you happen • • to get the balance on the other side. taut the gentleman's ncquitintar.ce.; 11.—Tinally, my bretlii-m,' if you wish to properly sustain yoacouutry pa ! per, to live the balanee — erlitr days in pence with God and mon, rod occupy n seat in l'nrattise after death, practice the Golden Rule—'Do unto others ns you would wish diem to do unto you,' under like circumstances. A GHOST. The people of null way, i 11g. to the Republican, are having a ghost excite• Dieu!— a spent being supposed to :mum it ceriniu house, 'the Republican rays : big doubled•fisted fellow, who glo ries in fearing neither mon nor Satan, went one night recently all alone to investigate the- mystery of the opparation, taking his gun with him. It was about I L o'clock, ,tad the moon was shining clear and bright. lie went to the gate, and after some exer tion succeeded in forcing it open wide e. sough to crowd him ell in , owing to the snow and ice which woe around it; but it soon slammed shot as if some one had done it in spite. lie then went and ant down on the porch, and after sitting there a few moment he heard a great noise in the house like knocking over chairs and break ing things in gin- ral." This he listened to for some true, and Olen went and look• cc'. around at the side of tine house, and on the pavement, about three feet from him, he raw a little thing about a foo t long; he wo'ched and sow 4 enlarge, un• til it got to be about the size ol'a man, when he stretched oust his arms and there stood ~ G id Morrie," (so Ito says) as plain as ever he saw him in life. He spoke to the I ghost several times, asked it who it was , and what it wanted, telling it that if it did I not spent( he would shoot, for he says he was not frightened, but thought perhaps it .was a trick of some one to score hits. It made no reply, but it stood per fectly still with its arms extended. At length Ito placed his gun at its heart and fired. He says it was- perfectly still—no wind blowing at the limo—but his face and eyes were, completely filled with smoke: which blew nff in a moment, whets the ghost had disapeared with it. Ho looked around, but could see nothing of it and then it was that the strorg man fail ed hint, and he thought to himself, Legs, do your office. • Hear me but to my home, Then fail me if you must, and suiting his action to his thoughts, ha left for tome as fast as he could navigate —arrifng at which he threw himself over the fence, too much overcoats to try the gate, and after ,somewhat recovering Its told his adventures, much to .he sur prise of his listeners. It may be of inter est to the canons to know that wo have i-card it said that "Gid" had been frequent ly heard to declare during his life-time, that he'meant to haunt that house after his death. AMU I. Witahington's Coffin. At the present time when so much IS being spoken and written about Mount I Vernon and the illustrious retnuins which a whole nation venerates, we feel disposed to call attention to the fact, thot Chester county furnished n portion of the marble which now encloses all that remains to earth of the Father of his Country. The body or the coffin is an excavation I from a solid block of marble taken from the quarries or Nlessers. Jacobs & Cornog„ in :Ito Great Vall e y, tn We, Whitoland towr.abip, Chester county. a bout six miles from this place. The lid of Washington's coffin is of Italian mar ble, on which is reilesented in relief the American shield, suspended over the flag lof our Union. The latter is hung in festoone, and the whole is surmounted by an eagle with open wings, perdd opts this ; superior bar of the shield. The coffin of Nlartha ‘Vashiagion is entirely plain, with a simple inscription. The body of this also is from the sam e quarry os Ilse above, and bath were pre s_ uteri by Mr. Struthers, of Philadelphia. The same quarries furnished the marble for Girard College.— West Cluster 11',0! Repttblican. ./In Eccentric Millionairc.—The Hart• ford Post, in speaking of Cyrus Butler, of Providence, says he was worth, when he died, s rue live millions of dollars, yet lived !more,' than most men worth one thousand dollars. - Salt codfish was a standard dish %val. him, and even in his last sickness, it is said he upbraided these who had the care of hint, for their extravagance in providing delicacies for him, assuring them that he could net afford it. He was a bachelor and a snuff taker. His snuff he kept in a large box, and bought by th a cents worth. There was but ono store in Providence, and that on India Point, where he could get his box filled for a cent, and the old man used.to patronize that stortr, more than a tails dis sant, whenever his box required filling, ['Roar: POETRY.-I gave her a rose and gave her a ring, and I asked her to marry toe then—but Its sent them all back, the insensible thicg, nod said she'd no notion of men. I told her I'd oceans of money and goods, and tried to fright her with a growl, but she answereu, she was not bro't up in the woods to be scared by the screech of on owl. I called her a haggage and cc. erything bad ; I slighted her features and form, till at last 1 succeeded in getting her mad, and she raged like a sea in a storm. And then in a moment I turned and smiled and called her my angel, and she fell in toy arms like a wearisome child, and ex. claimed, "We will marry this fall," NONE OF YOUR FUN.-A minister was one Subbath examininga Sunday school in a catechism before the congregation. The usual question nas put to the first girl, a strapper, who usually assisted her fatli,r, Who Was a publican, in waiting upon cus tomers. 'What is your name ?' No reply. , What is your name Y repeated the par. 'None of your fun, Mr. Minister,' said .the girl, Von know any name well enough. Don't you say when you comb to our house on a night, 'Bet, bring no some more ale. An Ugly Squint, A butcher who was afflicted with an ob liquity of viston known as strabismus, tvas about slaughtering a bullock, and employ ed a little negro boy to stand by the hull's neck. grasp his horns and hold hie head steady, on that he (the butcher) would have a certainty of knocking him down. As the butcher poised his axe in the air, he seem. to be looking directly at the negro instead of the bullock. 'Look hero, look here, bossy,' exclaimed the darkey with a great deal of nervous trepidation, you g wine to strike what you is loolon'.' 'Of course I am. y ou black sca,undrel,' 'Den you get somebody else to hold the bullock,' ejaculated the negro : 'you tsn't g wine tor knock dis child's brains out !' 151111101 TM FROM THE OLIVE BRANCH. AUNT HANNAH AND THE CHURCH FAIR. AUNT lIANNAn lived out of town. "Did I ever tell you what a time I had at our church lair last winter' " said slip to me one evening. 'No! What of it?' ""Now ain't that strange ? Thought I had told everybody about it, to be sure. Ln, well 'twill be news to you then l You know Nora Thorndale, Judge Thorndale's darter She mine over to our house and said our congregation were guilt' to have a fair in the village ineetin'•hotise." 4 0n tell," suz I. "Who's goin' to preach r 'Oh !" said she mighty smilin', 'two ain't guilt' to have preachin'; u f"w young persons of the congregation, who seem to take it deeper interest in the church's we' . fore than the members themselves, desire to purchase is few indespensable articles for the nieetin' house; and we thought if all the church would present us pies, and cakes, said *meats and such things, we would tippoint a night to seil them is the vestry of the church, and take the pro ceeds to buy the necessary things. The I plan is well received, especially by the young. You know the money is to be spent for charitable purposes anti on that account, everything given us will sell for double its value." ,‘WeII, I wouldn't have believed that there was sn much wisdom left in the world, as to have conjured up that : " sus I. 4 "fis even so," said Nora. “And what will you give ? You live on a farm, and farmers produce lots of things that would he acceptable." "Well, I will give two roast turkeys and six roast chickens," suz I, thinking that would he as much as anybody could ex• pent then hard times. .I. l m ! Well, wind else ? for the c hurch you gfvo it you know. Church members should not he less noxious fbr their interests than the world." “You see 1. was a church member and she wasn't." "Well, VII give a jar of peach jam,' suz f. "That will help along some. A few pusliels of apples or a roast pig, would be acceptable !" ''She was was so ravonous I began to be sorry I'd offered her anything. How somever, 1 thought I'd go the whole hug or none, au I promised the ptg and ap• ples." ' , Of course, you will give us cheese, and pies, and cakes, and milk, and cream, and then I think you will have done your part at given'. By the way, we are to have historical tableaux, and Nlre. Amos Bruce wanted I should ask you to talon the part of the witch of Endor. All you will have to do will be to dress to represent that lady, and stand perfectly still behind a curtain; and people will pay something to see you!" l'so old and ignorant and didn't know what l'so about, so I consented. "I sent them the itig, and the turkeys, and chickens and apples, and the rest of the things wanted np to the meafjng house, th day bafore the fair. "The next day husband tackled up his old horse and chase to carry me to the ft ir. Our old chaise, somehow or other, don't look very well. There's a bole in the top and sides, and some of the spokes of the wheels are gone.—The wheels squeak powerfully, two Wall we hadn't but just got in town, when it seemed as jf all the boys out of jail coma hollarin' and booths' arter us as if they were possessed. "Harrah for the witch of Endor ! Her chariot approacheth ! Make way for her majesty !" they kept equal lin' at the top of their lungs. „, ..Do ask them unsightly critters to be civil," euz I to husband—my patience gone entirely. ..At that he clamored out of the chaise, and alter um lick.orte-split, tight as ho could leg it. And, oh ! massy sake! ho drol.ped the reins on the ground, and the old horst, took a notion to go and ho went. You see ho know thu way to the church, and put chase for it. Husband ha came hollarin' 'whoa, whoa!' just as 1 was rldin' up to the meetih'-house. The meetin'- house yard was full of folks laughin' and startin' as if they hadn't no respectibility in um. 1 got out oldie chaise, and made nay way throbgh the crowd, and when they wouldn't make room, I elbowed them right smartly, I'm despw thin of flesh, and my elbows awful sharp, and when hit His, they gave back as if they'd been struck with a dagger. VOL. XXIV. NO. 12. "Paid twenty cents to go into the church.—The tables inside did look beau. titul. Norn, she explained the fixing to me. There were grabboxes that Contain ed a hundred things worth one cent, and one thing worth ten, and they paid five cents to grab, and if you grabbed right you would get twice your money's worth. And there was a ring cake. "twat divi ded into fifteen slices. You paid a dollar a slice, and ono slice contained a ring worth fifty cents. So he that got the right slce got a ring. And there were guess cakes and ever so many such kind of thing s too numerous to mention. they drest me up to represent the witch of Endor. I never was very handsome and they rigged me up at rich a rate that I must have looked awful. I stood behind a curtain and people paid a ninepenca ta come in and see me. Some went off mad, children generally scared. some went off laughin, as if they'd split. I evidently produced a powerful impres. sion on all that saw me. People at last, came to see me faster than they could be accomodated. I could hear urn talking around the tables about the witch of Endor and the witch of Endor's pig, and turkeys, and cake; and I began to feel, at length, dreadfully as though I was making a fool of myself. 1 stood there feelin' desputly and had Just made up a face to cry over my unfortunit condition, when, all of a sodden, down came the curtain, and there I stood right eat afore um all ! They set such a hurrain as I never heard before or aince. 1 elbowed my way through urn like wild fire made for the gettiu out place I and started for home. "Wall I went home with all my witch of Endor riggon on. • When husbandcome to the door to let me in ho was so freigli tened that ho set the dog on me. The dog eame towards me find run as if he'd break his neck; and I havn't seen him from - that. day to this. lat last convinced husband that I was his beloved wife, When I en plained it all to him, and the way he growled was a caution, 4iWall, they raised 5800 at that about itiab'e fair. With it they bought an orna mental chandelier and a silt pulpit cosh. ion, hived carpenters to make gingerbread work all over the meeting-house. "l'in just Mrs, Deacon IVare's opinion about church fairs, I am—that they are just the wickedest swindles that orthodoxy . ever tolerated. She says they are killin' to religion and I think so too. She says that the older church members thinks I was desputly imposed upon at the fair, and I declare, 1 don't beleive but what I SATISFACTOR7.-- , ‘Halloll, boy I did you sec a rabbit cross the road there just now t 'A rabbit?' •Yes ! be quick !a rabbit !' 'Was it a kinder grey varmint 'Yes ! yes !' longish cretur, with a short tail 'Yes be quick or he'll be in his burrow.' glad it long legs behind, and big ears 1' ,Yes ! yes !, 'And sorter jumit i s when it runs r 'Yes, I tell you.' 'Wall, I !taint seed such a creter about here.' Cue Woum—An Eastern Editor nays that a man - got himself ir, trouble by mar. rying two wives. A Western Editor re plies by assuring his contemporary that a good many men in that section have done the same thing by marrying one. A Northern Editor retorts, that quite a num. ber of his acquaihtances found trouble e. nough by barely promising to marry, with. out going any furthei. A mend of ours was bothered enough by., simply being caught in company with another men'; wife, ,-The rhyming of silly boys and girls and the whistling of the win , l through hollow tree, are equally signal instaoces of music caused by emptiness. ' air A woman recently drank thirty-two glasses of lager beer, at one sitting, in a bar-roon. in Lafayette, 111., to the great delight of all the loafers present. Br Miss Dubois says that the first time a coat sleeve encircled het waist, s he felt as if she was a pavilion built of rainbows, the window sills of which were composed of tEolian harps. A grand ssp 7 . cation that. Bar An old Dutch proverb says. •stealing never makes a man rich." The simple old Dutchman who got up that proverb knew little of the exploits of of fice-holders in the United States. Mr Answer to question in the Jour nal of last week, 56 quart bottles Bur W hat three hguree multiplied by 4, will make precisely 5.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers