I S I )
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WM. BREWSTER; EDITOR & PROPRIETOR.
NEW
BOOK AND STATIONERY STORE.
n the "Globe" Office Building, Market Square
HUNTINGDQN, PA.
Tho subscriber respectfully informs the citi.
zone of Huntingdon and adjoining c tunties.
that he has opened a New Book and Stationery%
Store, in the corner room of the "Globe" buil.
ding, where may be found a general assort- ;
ment of Miscellaneous and School Books and
Stationery, all of which he will sell at reason-
table prices. He will add to his stock weekly i
all Books and articles in demand, and expects
:It a short time to have on hand as full a stock
of saleable Books, Stationery, &c, as can ho
found in any town in the State.
Having made the necessary arrangements
with publishers, any Book wanted and not up
on his shelves, will be ordered and furnished at
city prices.
As he desires to do a lively business with i t
email profits, a liberal share of patronage is
solicit ed.
Dec.22,%5..tf. VIM. LEWIS.
(Estate of Nary ffleively, dec.)
ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE.
Letters of Administration on the estate of
Many Shrively, late of Porter township. dee.
having been gra ard to the undersigned, all
persons indebted to said estate are required to
make immediato payment, ane those having
claims will present them duly authenticated for
settlement to
Jacob W. Shively,Adrar,
• •
N. B.—The Administrator will attend in
Alexandria, on the Bth .d 15th days of Jan
" ToZtownship, Jan. 5. 1E59.
Ayr's Sarsaparilla
ronrund remedy, in which we have la-
bored 1 twines the most effectual alterative
that can he made. It is a concentrated extract
Para Sat,aporilla, co combined with other
si:l;ptefflees of still greater alterative power as
to laird an effective antidote for the diseases
Sorraparilla is reputed to cure. It is believed
that sitel: a remedy is wanted by those who
suffer from Strumnus complaints, and that one
which will aceranyliali their cure must prove
of immense rcrvieo to this largo class of our • ;
afflicted fellow-citizens. How completely this ;
compound will do it has been proven by roper-
hunt on many of the worst cases to be found •
of the ft:firming complaints:—
SCROFULA AND tiCCOPULOUS COMPLAINTS,
Itinerrioxs AND Ent:rave. DISEASES, ULCRIIS,
nue:Jig, Btormyes, Towns, SALT RUM!,
Scorn Snittime AND SYPUILIFIC
Ar
rar.:lo::s, llententer, Dianne, Dnorsx, Neu
a.s.l.en ox Tie DOULOCRFUT, DEBILITY, Dos.
Port, axe Nolo es•rtox, ERYSIPELAS, Rosn
or se: AxriroKy's 1 and indeed the whale
class of complaints tri log from letruurry oil
Trio Tli.oou.
This compound will be found a great pro
tiv:t•7 of health, when ink., in the spring, to
ex1. , 1 the foul humors which fester in tho
b1. , - , thr.:•rason ofthe year. By the time
:, evpolsion of them runny rankling disorders
are nippeel iu the bud. Multitudes can, by
the aid of this remedy, space themselves from
the endurance of foul eruptions and ulcerous
sere , , thiouglk which tho system will strive to
rid itself of corruptions, if not assisted to do
this through the natural channels of the body
by an alterative medicine. Cleanse out the
vitiated blood whenever you find its impurities
bursting tl trough the skin in pimples, eruptions,
or sores; cleanse it when you find it is ob
struct,' and sluggish in the veins ; cleanse it
whenever it is foul, need your feelings will tell
you when. Been where 110 partiunlor disorder
is felt, people enjoy better health, and live
longer ' for cleansing the blond. Keep the
blood healthy, need all is well; but with this
pahnlum of life disordered, there can be no
lasting health. Solner or later something
must go wrong, and the great machinery of
life is disordered or overthrown.
Sarsaparilla has, and deserves much, the
nslmtxtion, of acromplishing these ends. But
the v.sbrld has been egregiously deceived by
ir,parations of it, partly becaus - e the drug
alone, has not ell the virtue that is claimed
for it, hut more because many preparations,
pretending to he concentrated extracts of it,
contain Lot little if the virtue of Sarsaparilla,
or any thing else.
During into years the public have bee, mis
led by large bottles, pretending to give a quart
of 'Extract of Sarsaparilla for one dollar. Most
of these hove been frauds upon the sick, for
they not only contain little, if ally, Sarsapa
rilla, brit often no curative properties whatev
er. Hence, bitter and painful dirappnintrnt ut
has followed the acre of thq various extracts of
rampacilla which flood the market, until the
name itrrlf it justly de=piscd, and has become
synonymy,. with rim:coition and cheat. Still
we call this compound Sarsaparilla, and intend
to rnpply sneh a remedy en shall rescue olio
name from the lend of obloquy whirls rests
upon it. Ard we think too have ground for
ncleving it but victoria which ace inesistible
1w the ordinary rmi of the diseases it is intend
ed to cure. In rester to secure their complete
eradication from the system, the remedy should
he ;ludic ion,-ly token according to disco:am on
the bottle.
Mrs. Wheeler asked him to walk in and
be seated. She, of course, supposed he
had come after her daug,hter ''Rushiu."
'What do you want of Ruslim ?' asked
the old lady.
'To make hats,' was the reply.
'To trim hats, I suppose, you mean,' re*
sponded Mrs, Wheeler.
'No, for the outside of hats,' replied the
It st CO. I hatter.
ntrAttrn *
it 11. • .1T . C
LOWELL, MASS.
- Pr. • , i , I. per Bottle y . Mx Bottles for s's,
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral,
won fur itself torch n renown for tiro core of
rrery vorir ty of lire, raid Lung complaint, that
i! is entirely unnere,ery for us to reemitit the
cadence of its %Limes, wherever it hos been
As it hva long Levu in constant use
tlAZuglmt,t recti.n, Or neva not do more than
assure lie reople ita Vality is kept up to the Lett
it coon 1,0 Lein, owl that it may be tilled on to
do for their relief ell it has ever been found to do.
Ayer's Cathartic Pills,
FOR THE COVE OP
aoldirtorls, Jaundice, Dyeyeria,
Byerittrry, Paul Nemeth, Et yairtlas, Ikadache,
Pike, 11l eutnatiano, Pruptione and Shin Macaw,
t',;noplaint, Downy, Totter, Tamara and
ll'ornta, Gout, Neuralgia, as (3
Dinner Jill, and for Purifying the Blood.
They are .71m-coated, no that the most sensi
tive can take theta pleasantly, and they aro the
heat aperient in the would for all the purposes of a
family physic.
Price 95 cents par Post 5 Zone for $l.OO.
(trent raimbers or Clergymen, Physicians, State.-
men, nod eminent per,olmgcs, have lent their
names to certify the unparalleled usefulness althea°
reme.lies, but our spice here will not permit the
linealon of them. The Agents below named Tur-
Malt gratis our AIARItICAN ALMANAC in which they
are given ; with also full descriptions of the above
complaints, nod the treutment that should be fol
lowed for their cure.
Do not be put off by unprincipled deniers with
other preparations they make more protit on.
Demand Aykn's, and take no Mbar, 'The sick
scant the beat aid there is for them, and they should
have it.
All our Remedies are for solo by
Juan RUA, Agent Wintiugelon, Pa.
Yer. le, 1168.-4 y. •
cittect go ctrg.
WITHOUT.
WRITTEN FOR THE SATURDAY EVENING POST.
BY FLORENCE I'ERCY,
My walk was long and wearisome,
Aud bitter was the winter night t
I paused before a princely borne
Whose rooms were all ablaze with light—
I heard the children's joyful din,
I saw the smile their mother wore,—
For he who latest entered in,
Remembered not to shut the door.
And there was laughter, and the sweep
Of ivory keys by one who song
Old songs—such melodies as keep
The heart forever warm and young.
The sharp wind entered from the street,
And crept shoed the velvet floor,
Till a soft voice; low•toned and sweet,
Said, with a shiver--" Shut the door !"
Aye, shut the door shut out the cold,
Shut out the snow and bitter wind—
Shutout thu friendless and the .
Those who have grieved, and striven, and
sinned,—
Shut nut the loiterers, like me,
Who dream of homes which are no more—
Shot out all want and misery
Ant wrong and suffering;—shut the door!
Oh, home—"sweet home----how sadly they
Whom wayward- Fate condemns to roam,
Wcaring their reiticss lives away,
Outside of love, and peace, and home—
Fame at thy gates, as I to-night,
Calling thy dear name o'er and o'er,
Drinking thy music and they light,
Until the doom comes—"shut the door
Why list the infant's merry shout,
Why watrh the mother's loving glance,
Oh, homesick soul, thou waiest without,
Hindered of thine inheritance?
Why yearn mot pine for joys which are
Denied to thee forever more?
The inaccessMle and far—
Love's Land of rromiA3—shut the doer
Aye, shut the door—hat I shall keep
The memory of the pleasant room,
The pictured walls, the curtain's sweep,
The carpet's wealth tif woven bloom,
The glimpse of faces sweet and fair,
'I he dear ohl song 1 er, d before,
The light ppmi !lie children's hole—
I hare theta all--now shut the door !
ekct ;).Itisctilaiii.
A HAILER IN SEARCH OF RUSSIA
FUR.
On one occasion a hatter named Walter
Dibble called to buy some furs of us, For
certain rousons I was anxious to play a joke
upon him. I sold him several kinds el
fur, including bear, r end conoy. He wan.
ted some “Iluvia." l [Ad him we had
none, but Niro. kV heeler, whore I boarded,
had several hundred pounds.
*What on eorth is a woman doing with
RUS'ia V he •.rid.
I could not answer, hut assured hint that
there were 130 pounds of old Rushia and
150 pounds of young llushia to Mrs.
Wheeler's house, and under her charge,
hut whether it was for sale I could not say.'
Oil' he started with a view to make the
purchase. He knocked at the door. Mrs.
'Wheeler the elder made her appearance.
want to g t your Russia,' said the
hatter.
, Well, I don't know much about hots,
but I will call my daughter,' said the old
lady.
Passing into another room where Rushia
the younger was at work, she informed her
that a man wonted her to make hats.
he means sister Mary, probably, I
suppose he wants some ladies' hats,' re
plied Rushia t as she passed into the par
lor.
•1 suppose you wish to sea my sister
Mary ; she is our milliner,' said the your•
ger Rushia.
wish to Ace whoever own§ the proper
ty,' said the hatter.
Sister Mary was sent for and soon made
her appearance. As soon as she was in
troduced, the hatter informed her that he
wished to buy "Russia."
'Buy Rushia !' exclaimed Mary, in stir.
prise. '1 don't understand von.'
'Your name is Miss Wheeler, I believe,'
said the hatter, who was annoyed at the dif
ficulty he met with in being understood.
'lt is, sir.'
'Ah ! very well. Is there old and young
Russia in the house.'
'1 believe there is,' said Nary, surprised
at the familiar manner in which he spoke
" LIBERTY AND UNION, NOW AND FOREVER, ONE AND INSEPARABLE. "
HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23, 1859.
of her mother and sister, both of whom
were present.
'What is the price of old Russia per
pound,' asked the hatter,
.1 believe that old Russia is not for sale,'
replied Mary, indignantly,
'Well, what eo you ask for young Rus
sia 1' purmed the hatter.
'Sir,' said Miss Rushia, the younger,
springing to her feet, you come here to
insult defenceless females? If you do we
will soon call our brother, .vho is in the
garden, and ho will punish you as you de
serve.'
.Ladies !' exclaimed the hatter, in as-1 with his business, little deserves the pat
tonishment, .what on earth have I done to 1 ronage of the community in which he
offend you? I came here on n business 1 lives; and, as far us we nee corcerned, •
matter, I want to buy somAßussia I 1 snob will receive the .cold shoulder.'
was told you had old and young Russia in! 7.—lf you have the control of any le
the house. Indeed, this young lady just gel advertising, send it to your friend,
stilted such to be the fact. but she says the I
This kind of business pays Letter than
old Russia is not lot sale. Now, if I can any other and the more you can send the
buy the young Russia I want to do so—but 1 editor of your paper, the better for hint
if that can't be done, please say so. and I and n. In proportion to the amount of the
will trouble you no further.' receipts of a paper, is an editor enabled to
.Mother open tile door, and let the gen make it useful, !musing and entertain•
tleman pass out ;he is undoubtedly crazy,' ing to the community in which it is pub.
said Miss Mary. lished.
.13y thunder! I believe I shall be if I I B.—no not expect much of 0 .paper
remain here long,' exclaimed the hatter. 1 when an editor is driven to be his own
considerably excited, 'I wonder if folks ! compositor proof reader, pressman and
never do business in these parts, that you ; rind has torus all Over wise every
:hick a man crazy if he attempts such a forenoon in the vain search fdr a 'quarter'
thing?' to buy something for his dinner.
'Business! poor men,' said Mary sooth
ingly, approaching the door.
'1 um not a poor man, madam,' replied
the hatter. My name rs Waiter ; '
1 carry nu hutting extensively in Danbury;
1 came to Grassy Plains Li buy fur, null
have purchased some beaver and coney,
allow it seems I am to be called 'crazy' and
a 'poor man' because I want to buy a little
'Russia' to make up an assortment.'
The ladies began to open their e yea a lit.;
tle. They now that Mr. Dibbles was quite
in earnest, ant! his explanation threw con.
siderubld light On the subject.
'Who sent you here ?' itslcgd sister
Mary.
Thc clork at the store opposite•,' was
the re ply
'tie is n wicked young fellow for inAcing
this trouble,' said• the old lady. 'He bus
been doing this for n j,,ke,' she continua.
, A joke exclaimed Dibble, in surprise.
'Rave you not got got any Russia then ?
•My name is Jerushia, and so is my
dau,;hter's,' said Mrs. Wheeler, 'and that I
suppose is what ho meant by telling you
about old and young Mishits;
Mr. Dibble bolted through the door with
out a word of explanation. and made direct
ly fur our store. 'You young scamp I' he
said, as he entered, 'what did you mean by
sending me over there to buy Russia 1'
'1 did not send you to'buy itushia. I
supposed you were either a bachelot or a
widower, and wanted to marry Rushia,' I
replied, with a serious countenance,
'You lie, you dog, and you know it,' he
r. plied ;- 'but never mind, I'll pay you oil
for that seine day.' And taking his furs he
departed, less ill humored than could have
been expected under the circumstances.
How to Sustain Your Local Pui►e&
l.—Lay aside your fears that the Edi
tor will get rich faster than his neighbors.'
We have never beard of a twin making'.
more than a decent living by a !
Lion of a country newspaper, even if he
had ever such good business. A case
in point is an acquaintance of ours who
had been publishing some six or seven
years, has had all the business of hie own
town and country, and ti large portion of
that of the surrounding; but with all this
he gets into as tight pinches for money to
buy his white paper with as any other
publisher with whom we aro acquainted.
2.—lf the paper agrees with your ways
of thinking, subscribe and pay for it, and
persuade your neighbors of the same tnind
to to and do likewise.' Do not tell the
editor to send your paper without paying
and when you get to owe two or three
dollars tell your friends who speak of it.
that the paper is of no account, that it will
bust up one oldies() days. The way, un
der such a state of the case, to keep a pit
-per trom 'busting up,' is for each subscri
ber to keep the editor's books free from
charges against himself. Once we had to
close, and on posting up found booked
and outstanding seine $2OO inure th an we
had capital invested. This thing of apply.
tog the credit system to the newspaper
business may be likened to a fanner sell.
ing out his crop, a bushel does not seem of
any account to the debtor, but the aggre•
gate of bushels may make or break the
pour delver of the soil.
3.—lf you have a father, mother, broth
er, sister or friend of any kind residing at
distance, and aro able, subscribe, pay for
and send them a copy.
4.-1 f yeti have any printing you wish- We may also state that an Irish family
none, do not •jew this editor down ton star. h:d lived in the house, and left it without
votive price,' and when he comes to make saying anything about it, previous to the
a purchase of you. 'spike en the tariff.' German's going there whose unceremo.l
s.—lf-you have any advertising or job ideas exit we noticed a few weeks ago,
work to he done, take it to your county pa. and the former now says that they were
per, except, perhaps, you may %visit to ad. troubled in the same way as the hater,
vi ruse in more than one paper. Hut the cream of the whole affair is that
0. -Do net run ofl to the city to get the Dutchman left a barrel of sourcrout in .
your hand-bills, labels, cards, Sc. printed, the cellar which lie dares not go and get !
because forsooth, you can get a reduction Ii is said that several parties of our cit
e( a few cents in price. Support your izens have been down to investigate the
own as you wish to be supported. A man tarter, but were frightened away by the
who is always !wining away from home ...secret manifestations."
9.--110 not expect the editor to make
honorable mention of you or your business
every few weeks fur nothing. The spnce
inn paper, and a man's time, are worth
something, and every notico comes bark
to the drawer or the recipient m dollam
and cents. An editor should not be al,
lowed to go hungry, barebacked or bare
footed. they, teat drink and wear, just
other people.'
10.—If the editor owes you n shilling,
do lot chase him Irvin 'ro,y morn to
balmy eve' for it, and when you happen
• • to get the balance on the other side. taut
the gentleman's ncquitintar.ce.;
11.—Tinally, my bretlii-m,' if you
wish to properly sustain yoacouutry pa
! per, to live the balanee — erlitr days in
pence with God and mon, rod occupy n
seat in l'nrattise after death, practice the
Golden Rule—'Do unto others ns you
would wish diem to do unto you,' under
like circumstances.
A GHOST.
The people of null way, i 11g. to
the Republican, are having a ghost excite•
Dieu!— a spent being supposed to :mum it
ceriniu house, 'the Republican rays :
big doubled•fisted fellow, who glo
ries in fearing neither mon nor Satan, went
one night recently all alone to investigate
the- mystery of the opparation, taking his
gun with him. It was about I L o'clock,
,tad the moon was shining clear and bright.
lie went to the gate, and after some exer
tion succeeded in forcing it open wide e.
sough to crowd him ell in , owing to the
snow and ice which woe around it; but
it soon slammed shot as if some one had
done it in spite. lie then went and ant
down on the porch, and after sitting there
a few moment he heard a great noise in the
house like knocking over chairs and break
ing things in gin- ral." This he listened
to for some true, and Olen went and look•
cc'. around at the side of tine house, and
on the pavement, about three feet from
him, he raw a little thing about a foo t
long; he wo'ched and sow 4 enlarge, un•
til it got to be about the size ol'a man, when
he stretched oust his arms and there stood
~ G id Morrie," (so Ito says) as plain as
ever he saw him in life. He spoke to the
I ghost several times, asked it who it was ,
and what it wanted, telling it that if it did I
not spent( he would shoot, for he says he
was not frightened, but thought perhaps
it .was a trick of some one to score
hits. It made no reply, but it stood per
fectly still with its arms extended. At
length Ito placed his gun at its heart and
fired. He says it was- perfectly still—no
wind blowing at the limo—but his face
and eyes were, completely filled with
smoke: which blew nff in a moment, whets
the ghost had disapeared with it. Ho
looked around, but could see nothing of it
and then it was that the strorg man fail
ed hint, and he thought to himself,
Legs, do your office. •
Hear me but to my home,
Then fail me if you must,
and suiting his action to his thoughts, ha
left for tome as fast as he could navigate
—arrifng at which he threw himself
over the fence, too much overcoats to try
the gate, and after ,somewhat recovering
Its told his adventures, much to .he sur
prise of his listeners. It may be of inter
est to the canons to know that wo have
i-card it said that "Gid" had been frequent
ly heard to declare during his life-time,
that he'meant to haunt that house after
his death.
AMU I.
Witahington's Coffin.
At the present time when so much IS
being spoken and written about Mount I
Vernon and the illustrious retnuins which
a whole nation venerates, we feel disposed
to call attention to the fact, thot Chester
county furnished n portion of the marble
which now encloses all that remains to
earth of the Father of his Country.
The body or the coffin is an excavation I
from a solid block of marble taken
from the quarries or Nlessers. Jacobs &
Cornog„ in :Ito Great Vall e y, tn We,
Whitoland towr.abip, Chester county. a
bout six miles from this place. The lid
of Washington's coffin is of Italian mar
ble, on which is reilesented in relief the
American shield, suspended over the flag
lof our Union. The latter is hung in
festoone, and the whole is surmounted by
an eagle with open wings, perdd opts this ;
superior bar of the shield.
The coffin of Nlartha ‘Vashiagion is
entirely plain, with a simple inscription.
The body of this also is from the sam e
quarry os Ilse above, and bath were pre
s_ uteri by Mr. Struthers, of Philadelphia.
The same quarries furnished the marble
for Girard College.— West Cluster 11',0!
Repttblican.
./In Eccentric Millionairc.—The Hart•
ford Post, in speaking of Cyrus Butler, of
Providence, says he was worth, when he
died, s rue live millions of dollars, yet lived
!more,' than most men worth one thousand
dollars. - Salt codfish was a standard dish
%val. him, and even in his last sickness, it
is said he upbraided these who had the care
of hint, for their extravagance in providing
delicacies for him, assuring them that he
could net afford it. He was a bachelor and
a snuff taker. His snuff he kept in a large
box, and bought by th a cents worth. There
was but ono store in Providence, and that
on India Point, where he could get his box
filled for a cent, and the old man used.to
patronize that stortr, more than a tails dis
sant, whenever his box required filling,
['Roar: POETRY.-I gave her a rose and
gave her a ring, and I asked her to marry
toe then—but Its sent them all back, the
insensible thicg, nod said she'd no notion
of men. I told her I'd oceans of money
and goods, and tried to fright her with a
growl, but she answereu, she was not bro't
up in the woods to be scared by the screech
of on owl. I called her a haggage and cc.
erything bad ; I slighted her features and
form, till at last 1 succeeded in getting her
mad, and she raged like a sea in a storm.
And then in a moment I turned and smiled
and called her my angel, and she fell in
toy arms like a wearisome child, and ex.
claimed, "We will marry this fall,"
NONE OF YOUR FUN.-A minister was
one Subbath examininga Sunday school in
a catechism before the congregation. The
usual question nas put to the first girl, a
strapper, who usually assisted her fatli,r,
Who Was a publican, in waiting upon cus
tomers.
'What is your name ?'
No reply.
, What is your name Y repeated the par.
'None of your fun, Mr. Minister,' said
.the girl, Von know any name well enough.
Don't you say when you comb to our house
on a night, 'Bet, bring no some more ale.
An Ugly Squint,
A butcher who was afflicted with an ob
liquity of viston known as strabismus, tvas
about slaughtering a bullock, and employ
ed a little negro boy to stand by the hull's
neck. grasp his horns and hold hie head
steady, on that he (the butcher) would have
a certainty of knocking him down. As the
butcher poised his axe in the air, he seem.
to be looking directly at the negro instead of
the bullock.
'Look hero, look here, bossy,' exclaimed
the darkey with a great deal of nervous
trepidation, you g wine to strike what
you is loolon'.'
'Of course I am. y ou black sca,undrel,'
'Den you get somebody else to hold the
bullock,' ejaculated the negro : 'you tsn't
g wine tor knock dis child's brains out !'
151111101 TM
FROM THE OLIVE BRANCH.
AUNT HANNAH AND THE CHURCH FAIR.
AUNT lIANNAn lived out of town.
"Did I ever tell you what a time I had
at our church lair last winter' " said slip to
me one evening.
'No! What of it?'
""Now ain't that strange ? Thought I
had told everybody about it, to be sure.
Ln, well 'twill be news to you then l You
know Nora Thorndale, Judge Thorndale's
darter She mine over to our house and
said our congregation were guilt' to have a
fair in the village ineetin'•hotise."
4 0n tell," suz I. "Who's goin' to
preach r
'Oh !" said she mighty smilin', 'two
ain't guilt' to have preachin'; u f"w young
persons of the congregation, who seem to
take it deeper interest in the church's we' .
fore than the members themselves, desire
to purchase is few indespensable articles
for the nieetin' house; and we thought if
all the church would present us pies, and
cakes, said *meats and such things, we
would tippoint a night to seil them is the
vestry of the church, and take the pro
ceeds to buy the necessary things. The
I plan is well received, especially by the
young. You know the money is to be
spent for charitable purposes anti on that
account, everything given us will sell for
double its value."
,‘WeII, I wouldn't have believed that
there was sn much wisdom left in the
world, as to have conjured up that : "
sus I.
4 "fis even so," said Nora. “And what
will you give ? You live on a farm, and
farmers produce lots of things that would
he acceptable."
"Well, I will give two roast turkeys and
six roast chickens," suz I, thinking that
would he as much as anybody could ex•
pent then hard times.
.I. l m ! Well, wind else ? for the
c hurch you gfvo it you know. Church
members should not he less noxious fbr
their interests than the world."
“You see 1. was a church member and
she wasn't."
"Well, VII give a jar of peach jam,'
suz f.
"That will help along some. A few
pusliels of apples or a roast pig, would be
acceptable !"
''She was was so ravonous I began to
be sorry I'd offered her anything. How
somever, 1 thought I'd go the whole hug
or none, au I promised the ptg and ap•
ples."
' , Of course, you will give us cheese,
and pies, and cakes, and milk, and cream,
and then I think you will have done your
part at given'. By the way, we are to
have historical tableaux, and Nlre. Amos
Bruce wanted I should ask you to talon
the part of the witch of Endor. All you
will have to do will be to dress to represent
that lady, and stand perfectly still behind a
curtain; and people will pay something to
see you!"
l'so old and ignorant and didn't
know what l'so about, so I consented.
"I sent them the itig, and the turkeys,
and chickens and apples, and the rest of
the things wanted np to the meafjng
house, th day bafore the fair.
"The next day husband tackled up his
old horse and chase to carry me to the ft ir.
Our old chaise, somehow or other, don't
look very well. There's a bole in the
top and sides, and some of the spokes of the
wheels are gone.—The wheels squeak
powerfully, two Wall we hadn't but just
got in town, when it seemed as jf all the
boys out of jail coma hollarin' and booths'
arter us as if they were possessed.
"Harrah for the witch of Endor ! Her
chariot approacheth ! Make way for her
majesty !" they kept equal lin' at the top of
their lungs. „,
..Do ask them unsightly critters to be
civil," euz I to husband—my patience
gone entirely.
..At that he clamored out of the chaise,
and alter um lick.orte-split, tight as ho
could leg it. And, oh ! massy sake! ho
drol.ped the reins on the ground, and the
old horst, took a notion to go and ho went.
You see ho know thu way to the church,
and put chase for it. Husband ha came
hollarin' 'whoa, whoa!' just as 1 was rldin'
up to the meetih'-house. The meetin'-
house yard was full of folks laughin' and
startin' as if they hadn't no respectibility
in um. 1 got out oldie chaise, and made
nay way throbgh the crowd, and when
they wouldn't make room, I elbowed them
right smartly, I'm despw thin of flesh,
and my elbows awful sharp, and when
hit His, they gave back as if they'd been
struck with a dagger.
VOL. XXIV. NO. 12.
"Paid twenty cents to go into the
church.—The tables inside did look beau.
titul. Norn, she explained the fixing to
me. There were grabboxes that Contain
ed a hundred things worth one cent, and
one thing worth ten, and they paid five
cents to grab, and if you grabbed right you
would get twice your money's worth.
And there was a ring cake. "twat divi
ded into fifteen slices. You paid a dollar
a slice, and ono slice contained a ring
worth fifty cents. So he that got the right
slce got a ring. And there were guess
cakes and ever so many such kind of thing s
too numerous to mention.
they drest me up to represent
the witch of Endor. I never was very
handsome and they rigged me up at rich
a rate that I must have looked awful. I
stood behind a curtain and people paid a
ninepenca ta come in and see me. Some
went off mad, children generally scared.
some went off laughin, as if they'd split.
I evidently produced a powerful impres.
sion on all that saw me. People at last,
came to see me faster than they could be
accomodated. I could hear urn talking
around the tables about the witch of Endor
and the witch of Endor's pig, and turkeys,
and cake; and I began to feel, at length,
dreadfully as though I was making a fool
of myself. 1 stood there feelin' desputly
and had Just made up a face to cry over
my unfortunit condition, when, all of a
sodden, down came the curtain, and there
I stood right eat afore um all ! They set
such a hurrain as I never heard before or
aince. 1 elbowed my way through urn
like wild fire made for the gettiu out place
I and started for home.
"Wall I went home with all my witch
of Endor riggon on. • When husbandcome
to the door to let me in ho was so freigli
tened that ho set the dog on me. The dog
eame towards me find run as if he'd break
his neck; and I havn't seen him from - that.
day to this. lat last convinced husband
that I was his beloved wife, When I en
plained it all to him, and the way he
growled was a caution,
4iWall, they raised 5800 at that about
itiab'e fair. With it they bought an orna
mental chandelier and a silt pulpit cosh.
ion, hived carpenters to make gingerbread
work all over the meeting-house.
"l'in just Mrs, Deacon IVare's opinion
about church fairs, I am—that they are
just the wickedest swindles that orthodoxy
. ever tolerated. She says they are killin'
to religion and I think so too. She says
that the older church members thinks I
was desputly imposed upon at the fair,
and I declare, 1 don't beleive but what I
SATISFACTOR7.-- , ‘Halloll, boy I did you
sec a rabbit cross the road there just now t
'A rabbit?'
•Yes ! be quick !a rabbit !'
'Was it a kinder grey varmint
'Yes ! yes !'
longish cretur, with a short tail
'Yes be quick or he'll be in his burrow.'
glad it long legs behind, and big ears 1'
,Yes ! yes !,
'And sorter jumit i s when it runs r
'Yes, I tell you.'
'Wall, I !taint seed such a creter about
here.'
Cue Woum—An Eastern Editor nays
that a man - got himself ir, trouble by mar.
rying two wives. A Western Editor re
plies by assuring his contemporary that a
good many men in that section have done
the same thing by marrying one. A
Northern Editor retorts, that quite a num.
ber of his acquaihtances found trouble e.
nough by barely promising to marry, with.
out going any furthei. A mend of ours
was bothered enough by., simply being
caught in company with another men';
wife,
,-The rhyming of silly boys and girls
and the whistling of the win , l through
hollow tree, are equally signal instaoces of
music caused by emptiness. '
air A woman recently drank thirty-two
glasses of lager beer, at one sitting, in a
bar-roon. in Lafayette, 111., to the great
delight of all the loafers present.
Br Miss Dubois says that the first
time a coat sleeve encircled het waist,
s he felt as if she was a pavilion built of
rainbows, the window sills of which were
composed of tEolian harps. A grand ssp 7 .
cation that.
Bar An old Dutch proverb says.
•stealing never makes a man rich." The
simple old Dutchman who got up that
proverb knew little of the exploits of of
fice-holders in the United States.
Mr Answer to question in the Jour
nal of last week, 56 quart bottles
Bur W hat three hguree multiplied by
4, will make precisely 5.