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WILLIAM sitzwenilt, EDITORS.
SAM. G. WHITTAKER,
(01IRT AFFAIRS.--APRIL TERM 1857.
TRIAL LIST—FIRST WEEK.
Robert Wilson vs. Wm. Foster's Ex'rs.
Huntingdon county vs Andrew Robison's Ex'rs.
Dumas vs James Patter.
Dr. Shoenberger's Ex'rs vs A. P. Wilson et al.
Stevens tbr use of Myton vs Smith & Healy.
John Fleming vs B. X. Blair, et al.
Thos. Clark's heirs vs Brison Clsrk.
George bleCrum vs Thomas Wilson.
Davis Crow's Adm'r, vs Abednego Stevens.
hlichnel Quarry vs Wise & Buchanan.
Patrick Kelly vs Penn's R. R. Co.
Aga Cochin vs John Dougherty, et al.
N. C. Decker vs Boat & Buckingham.
TRIAL LIST—SECOND WEEK.
Juba O. Orlady vs Gable's Ex'rs.
John Penn Brock vs John Savage.
Same vs Same.
John M. Walter vs David Varner.
Union Trans. Co vs Penn. & Ohio Trans. Co.
Leonard Weaver vs Lock & Snyder.
Samuel Caldwell vs Michael J. Martin.
John Dougherty vs Taylor, Wilson & Petriken.
Weiner, Mine & Ellis rs Christian Coots.
George Couch vs Far. Insurance Co.
Matthew Truman for use vs. Robert li. Paced'.
Peter Long & wife vs Daniel Roberts' Adtn'r.
Joie. & Rougher vs James Bricker.
Mary E. Trout vs Martin Flenner et al.
Matson Walker vs Andrew Walker.
L. & S. Ilecthl vs John Jamison.
Ettinger & Theedman vs liuyett &Seeds.
Barcroft, Beaver & Co. vs Josh. It. Cox's Ad.
Isaac M. Ashton, vs. Same.
Same vs. Same.
klrieo Blair, farmer, Dublin.
Michael Baker, carpenter, Porter.
Alexander S. Briggs, farmer, Tell.
Philip Crouse, tailor, Caseville
James B. Carothers, farmer, Morris.
John M. Cunningham, carpenter, Huntingdon
William L. Couch, reamer, Barree.
David Restart, farmer, Walker.
John Foster, farmer, Shirley.
John Graffius, tinner, Warriorsmark.
Jacob Hoover, &Titer, Penn.
Robert F. Ileslett, innkeeper, Barris.
Geo. W. Hazard, farmer, Union.
Robert Johnston, farmer, Jackson.
John Leo, miller, Walker.
Thomas Osborn, farmer, Jackson.
Oatenkirk, farmer, Brady.
John F. Parsons, farmer, Tell.
Livingston Robb, former, Walker.
Wm. Stapleton, farmer, Tod.
David Swoope.„jr., carpenter, Clay.
Andrew Smith, farmer, Union.
William Walker, carpenter, Porter.
ElMs B. Wilson, J. P., Cassville.
TRAVER SR JURORS—FIRST WEEK.
William Africa, shoemaker, Huntingdon.
Alexander Appleby, farmer, Dublin.
Samuel Bowman, farmer, Shirley.
Jacob Brnmhaugh, farmer, Penn.
Jobli tilolinger, farmer, Cromwell.
Marra eunningham, flamer, Jackson
# ••airman, farms.. Tod.
a k..4.•,rnelius, farmer, Cromwell.
F. 1,114 •
„Jou, Darcy, mmem,'lsprhigita. '—
Gideon Elias. surveyor, Tod.
Math Planner, wngonmaker, Walker.
Hobert Fleming, farmer, Jackson.
Jonathan Frazier, tanner, Jackson. -
Michael Flasher, farmer, Jackson.
.Tames Goodman, carpenter, Huntingdon.
/Bram Grady, farmer, Henderson.
Austin Green mechanic, Cassville.
Joint Ilewit, farmer, Porter.
Thomas Hamer, Jr., farmer. West.
Samuel Harvey, farmer, Shirley.
Solomon Houck, farmer, Tod. •
Daniel Knode fanner, Porter.
Charles 11. Miller, tanner, Huntingdon.
Abraham McCoy, brickmaker, Huntingdon.
William Morgan, farmer, Shirley.
William C. McCauley, tanner, Brady.
Asa Price, farmer, Cromwell.
John S. Pheasant, farmer, Union.
Charliaphinehart, former, Clay.
John Slitaer, farmer, Morris.
Philip Silknltter, farmer, Barree.
Peter Shaver of Samuel, clerk, Shirley.
Peter Shaffer, farmer, Morris.
'David Snare, J. P., Hnntingdon.
Jacob Snyder, tailor, Huntingdon.
William Filmes. clerk, Franklin.
Thomas Weston, J.Warriorsmark. •
Thomas Wilson, J. P.:Barre°.
F. B. Wallace, blacksmith, Huntingdon.
Armstrong Willoughby, tailor, Huntingdon.
Leonard Weaver, limner, Hopewell.
Thomns Whittaker, farmer. Porter.
Jneob Walters, farmer. Franklin.
Samuel Wall, merchant, Penn.
John Kirsch, blacksmith, Franklin.
Jahn Rung, gentleman, West.
TRAVERSE JURORS—SECOND WEEK,
James Bell, farmer, Warricsesmark.
William Cramer, former, Tell.
James Cress, farmer, Dublin.
Hugh Cunningham, firmer, Porter.
David Celestock, firmer, Huntingdon.
John Duff, fanner, Jackson.
Thomas Duffey, former, Springfield.
John Eberly, threw, West.
Martin Fleming, foresee, Brady.
David 11. Foster, merchant, Hopewell.
John Geghagan, consenter, Porter.
Joshua Green, farmer, Barree.
John G retitle, laborer, West.
Vnleb Greenland, harmer, Cass.
1;1•1.1TO Hight, farmer, Tod.
sl , .;:e Limit, farmer; West.
Jacob 11. Knodu, firmer, West.
Hugh King, fennel, Shirley.
James Kerr, farmer, Brady.
Join I'. Murphy, shoemaker, West.
George Myerly, farmer, Springfield.
Franklin 11. Neely, farmer, Dublin.
John A. Nash, printer,llentingdon.
Henry F. Newingliate gentleman, Huntingdon
Christian Pelghtal, tai lor, arrer.
Jacob Spanogle, %neer, ihirley.
John Simpson, fanner, Ilungegdon.
Henry W. Swoopo , farmer, Porter. '
Samuel Smith, farmer, Union.,
Valentine Smittle, farmer, Tell.
James Stevens, farmer, Clay.
William P. Taylor, carpenter, Clay.
John Weston, fanner, Union.
John Whittaker, gentleman, Huntingdon.
Richard Wills, eabinet•suaker, Warnorsmark.
Michael Wale, farmer '
Huntingdon, March 25, 1857,
What an Infirtuatecl Young Man - would do
for his Lady Love :
"For thee I'd climb Parnassus high,
And there I'd scan the weather,
I'd wrench the rainbow from the sky, .
And tie both ends together."
For thou I'd apple dumplings make,
And stud 'em•full of plums ;
For thee I'd castor oil-ah take,
And then lick both my thumbs.
For thee I would my boozum tear,
And then I'd wallow in the dirt ;
For thee Pd pull out all my hair;
And then I'd tear my shirt.
For thee I'd meet either joy or care,
Commit any sort of folly,
And thee I'd cover with kisses rare.
Indeed, I would by golly.
TWENTY YEARS AGO,
I've wandered to the village, Tom,
I've sat beneath the tree
Upon the school house play ground,
That sheltered you and me;
But none were left to greet me, Tom,
And few were left to know,
Who played with us upon the green
Just twenty years ago.
The grass was just ac green, Tom,
Barefooted boys at play
Were sporting, just as we had been,
With spirits just as gay.
But the master sleeps upon the hill,
Which, coated o'er with snow,
Afforded us a sliding place
Some twenty years ago.
The old sehool•hoose is altered some;
The benches are replaced
By new ones very like the same
Our jack•knives had defaced.
But the same old brick are in the wall,
The boll swings t 6 and fro,
Ito music's just the same, dear Tom,
'Twas twenty years ago.
The spring that bubbled 'neath the hill
Close by the spreading beach,
Is very low ; 'Loan once so high
That we could scarcely reach ;
And kneeling down to get a drink,
Dear Tom, I started so,
To think bow very much I've changed
Since twenty years ago.
Near by that spring upon an elm,
You know I cut you name,
Your sweetheart's just beneath it, Tom,
• And you did mine the same.
Sonic heartless wretch haspcaled the bark
'Tons dying, sure, but slow,
Just as that ono whose name you cut
Some twenty years ago.
My lids had long been dry, Tom,
But tears came in myeyes ;
I thought of her I loved so well,
Thom early broken ties.
I visited the old churchyard,
And took some flowers to strew
Upon the graves of those we loved
Just twebty years ago.
paw in um uhurcluvartllaid.
Sot" steep beneath the sea,
But nekte arc left of our old class,
Excepting you and me.
And when our time shall come, Tom,
And we are called to go,
I hope well meet with those we loved
Some twenty ycare ago.
REPORT ON THE WORM LAWS.
In compliance with the resolution of the
Temperance Alliance, of Huntingdon, the
'undersigned begs leave to report: That the
Act of Bth of May, 1854, commenli called
the BIAALEW Law; the Act of 26th Feb
ruary. commonly called the SUNDAY Law,
and the Act of 31st of March, .1856, the
present LICENSE Law,
,contain nearly the
whole rtatutary law now in force in Penn•
sylvania, attempting, regulating and re
stricting the use of intoxicating liquors.
The last named Act expressly excepts
from Its repealing clause, the Buckolew law
and the Sunday law, and declares they
shall be and remain in full force. The
Act of Bth of May, 1854, is highly penal ;
the first section declares the ' , wilfully fur
nishing intoxicating drinks by sale, gift or
otherwise to any person of known intem
perate habits, to a minor, or to an insane
person for use as a beverage, a misdemea
nor, and upon conviction thereof the offen
der shall be fined not less than ten nor more
than fifty dollars, and undergo an imprison
ment of not less than ten nor more than six
ty days ; and the wilful furnishing of in
toxicating drinks as a beverage to any per
son when drunk or intoxicated, shall be
deemed a misdemeanor, punishable as a
The next section provides "that , any
member of the family, or blood relation of
an intemperate person, or any overseer of
the poor, or any magistrate of the district,
or the committee of a drunkard, may give
notice, verbal, or written, to any person
making, selling or having intoxicating li
quors, forbidding him or them from turish
ing such intemperate person with intoxi
cating drinks; and if within three months
after such notice any one to whom same is
given, shall furnish or cause to be fti'nish.
ed intoxicating liquor to such intemperate
person to bo used as a beverage, he shall be
deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon
conviction thereof, shell be punished as
provided in the first section of the act."
The third section is general in its provi
sions, and makes ..any and every person
responsible civilly for any injury to per
son or property in consequence of furnish
ing intoxicating drinks in violation of any
existing law, and any and every person ag
grieved may recovery full damages against
the person so furnishing, by an taloa On
the case, instituted its the proper Court."
" LIBERTY AND UNION, NOW AND PORIVER, ONE AND INSEPARABLE."
HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 52, 1857.
The fourth section prohibits "any Judge, I
justice, or clergyman from performing the
marriage ceremony between parties when
either of them is intoxicated, under a pen
alty of fifty dollars, and imprisonment not
exceeding sixty days."
The fifth section prohibits the "adulter
ation and corruption of liquors made or in
tended as i beverage, whereby the same
are rendered noxious and injurious to
health ; and the sale of such adulteratedyli
quote, with the knowledge that they are
such, under the penalty of $5O for the first
and $lOO for subsequent offences, and im
prisonment not exceeding sixty days."
The sixth section provides that "the
Court shall allow any person prosecuting
an offender to conviction for violation of
this law, a sum not exceeding $2O for his
expenses and services, to be taxed and paid
as part of the costs of the case, such al
-1 lowance to be in addition to his compensa
tion as a witness in the case."
The seventh section deolares that "no
suit or action can be maintained for liquors
sold in 'violation of any law of this Coin- .
monwealth, and the eighth section author
izes the Court -'to revoke the license, when
any person holding a license shall be pro
ved to have violated any law of this Com
monwealth relating to the sale of liquors,
or whenever the premises of such person
shall become the resort of idle and disorder
ly persons so as to disturb the general peace
of the neighborhood, upon notice given to
Such are the provisions of the Act of
1854—any town or neighborhood that will
enforce this law will become a temperance
community in six weeks, for if the sale of
intoxicating liquors to minors and persons
of intemperate habits is stopped, as it can
be by this law, drunkenness is at an end
The first section of the Aot oftGth of
February, 1855, makes it unlawful for
g.any person or persons to sell, trade or bar
ter in any spiritous or malt liquors, wine
or cider, on the first day of the week, com•
monly tolled Sunday ; or for the keeper
11.141...14. L0w..., oh, hoar.. boor-
house, or other public house or place,
knowingly to allow or permit any spirits-'
ous or malt liquors, wine or cider, to be
drank on or within the premises or house
occupied or kept by such keepers, his, her
or their agents or servants, on the said first
day of the week."
The •second section provides that "any
person or persons violating the provisions
of the foregoing section, shall for each and
every offence forfeit and pay the sum of
•50—one•half of which shall be paid to the
prosecutor and the other half to the Guar
dians of the Poor, to be recovered before
any mayor, alderman, burgess or justice of
the peace, as debts of like amount are now
by law recoverable."
The third section provides that in ad
dition to the "civil penalties imposed by
the last preceding section for a violation of
the rrovisions of the first section of this
Act, every person Who shall violate the
provisions of that section shall be taken and
deemed to have committed a misdemeanor,
and shall on conviction thereof in any
criminal Court of this Commonwealth, be
fined in any sum not less than ten nor more
than ono hundred dollars, and be imprison•
ed in the County jail for a period not less
than ten nor more than sixty days."
Such are the provisions of this humane
law; while it protects the sacred hours of
the Sabbath from the contamination of a
sinful business, it affords rest to him. who
sells and him who drinks intoxicating li
goons. "The way of the transgressor is
hard," and no one more than he needs
one day in seven to rest.
The third and last statute referred to is
the Act of 81st March, p 856, containing
thirty-five sections. We shall only give a
summary of the law, without referring in
detail to its various provisions.
Instead of sales by a not less measure
than a quart, as attempted in former laws,
this law prohibits all sales by less measure
than a gallon, by venders of vinous, spirit.
ous, malt or brewed liquors, either with or
without other goods, wares and merchan
dire, under a retailer's license, and in
creases the price of the license to sell by
the gallon to double the rate of the Act of
Bth of May, 1841. end "in no case shall
such license be less theta $50." It also
classifies all breweries and distilleries and
increases the price of the Fcense for the
same, double the rate of the Act of 10th of
April 1849, and in no case is such license
to be less than $5O, nor shall such license
authorize sales by them of less than five
gallons, mei* malt and brewed liquors,
which may be bottled and delivered in
quantities not less than one dozen bottles.
It authorizes the Courts of Quarter liiss
sions to grant tavern licenses at the first
and second sessions in each year, upon the
proper applications, and provides that ob
jections to such applications for license
may be heard by evidence, petition, remon
strance or counsel. The Clerk of the
Court shall publish thorn three times in
two newspapers of the county, the names
of all such applicants, their respective res
idences, and kind of license. The petition,
its under former laws, must be signed by
twelve citizens, certifying to the necessity
of the tavern, to the honest and temperate
character of the applicant, &c. The 9th
section requires that the tavern-keeper
must have in cities and county-towns, for
the exclusive use of travellers, at least four
bed-rooms and eight beds, and in any other
part of the State at least two bed rooms
and four beds for such use. No provision
is made for feeding the hungry traveller
or his horse. Liquor to drink and a bed
to lie down on, is all the law requires.
The tenth section provides that before
any license for the sale of liquors under
the prbvisions of this' Act shall be granted,
such person applyitrg for the same shall
give a bond to the Commonwealth of Penn
sylvania, with two suffieient sureties in the
sum of one thousand dollars when the li
cense shall be above the seventh class, and
in five hundred dollars for all in and below
that class, conditioned for the faithful ob
servance of all the laws of this Common.
wealth relating to the business of the prin
cipal obliger, and a warrant to confess judg
ment, which bond, &0., shall be approved
by the said Court, and filed in the Clerk's
office ; and whenever a judgment for any
forfeiture or fine shall have been recovered
or conviction had for any violation of the
provisions of this act, or any other law for
the observance of which said bond shall be
conditioned, it shall be the duty of the
District Attorney of the proper county, to
enter up judgment and institute suit there
on, and thereupon the same proceedings
shall be had and with the like effect and
with the same cats as now p-ovided by
law in the ease of forfeited bonds and re
cognizances, in the several counties of the
Commonwealth. The bond to be given
by .tho kattpera of eating 4. .stall in
all cases be in the sum of five hundred
l'he fourteenth section pi.ovideethat no
license shall be granted for the keeping of
eating houses, except when they may be
necessary for the accommodation of the
public and traveller..., and shall only au
thorize the sale of domestic wines, malt or
By the 28th section the penalty for a
violation of any of the provisions of this
law, shall be a fine of not less than ten nor
more than one hundred dollars, and upon
a second conviction, imprisonment of not
less than one nor more than three months;
and a forfeiture of his license if such offen
der had license, and incapacity from re.
ceiving another license for hve years there.
The 29th section provides that any per
son who shall be found intoxicated in any
street, highway, public house or public
place, shall be fined upon view of or upon
proof made before any mayor, alderman or
justice of the peace. not exceeding five dol.
lars, to be levied with the proper costs upon
the goods and chattles of the defendant.
The 30th section provides that any per
, son wh ) shall sell spirituous or other intox
icating liquors, to any person who shall
drink the same on the premises When sold
and become thereby intoxicated, shall be
sides his liability in damager, under any
existing law, be fined five dollar s, for every
such offence to be recovered by any wife,
husband, parent, child, reletion, or guardi
an of the person so injured, to be levied on
the goods, &c., of the defendant, without
By the Slot section, the Court is author
ized to award to the prosecutor a reasonable
part not exceeding one•third of the penalty
imposed on conviction of any offender, and
the residue as well as the proceeds' of all
forfeited bonds as aforesaid shall be paid to
the directors of the public schools of the
proper district—nnr shall this prevent the
prosecutor from being r witness in the case.
By the 3sd section the Constables of the
boroughs and townships shall make return
of the retailers of liquors, and in addition
thereto, it shall be the duty of every con
stable each time of the Court of Quarter
Sessions of the respective counties, tb
make return on oath or affirmation, whe
ther within his knowledge there is any
place within his bailiwick, kept and main
tained in violation of this act, and it shall
be the especial ditty of the Judges of all
said Courts to see that this return is faith
fully made ; and if any person shall make
known, in writing, with his or her name
subsctibed thereto, to such constable, the
name or names of any one who shall have
violated this act, witltthe names of wit
nesses ivho can prove the facts, it shall lac
his duty to make return hereof on oath to
the Court, and upon his wilful failure to
do so, he shall be deemed guilty of a mis
demeanor. and upon conviction shall pay a
fine of fifty dollars, and be subject to im
prisonment not less than ten nor more than
thirty days in the county jail.
Section 84th makes it a misdemeanor
punishable with fine, and for the second
offence fine and imprisonment, for any per
son engaged in the manufacture or sale of
intoxicating liquors, to employ or permit
any intemperate person in any way to as- I recti on.
last in such manufacture or sale. I A short time'since, when a train under
Such are the provisions and restrictions his direction was on its way East from
of the liquor laws of the Commonwealth, Utica, one of these interesting incidents
of Pennsylvania, and such the pains and occurred on board the train, which adds to
penalties of their violation. If these laws the visible number of passengers, but
were observed and enforced, drunkenness scarcely ever increases the profits of the
would cease id a day. • I trip. Ward, as soon as he discovered the
Hastily and respectfully submitted, condition of the lady, hustled nbout, and
D. BLAIR. with the train running forty miles an huur
An Arkansas Joke,
An Arkansas correspondent of the New
Orleans Picayune tells the following good
In early time:, in a county not far off
these dram shops were common, as they
were all over the State, where the b'hoys
met every Saturday evening to shoot for
whiskey and get drunk; and cool off with
a fight or two. On one of these occasions
a big strapping six footer full of "bust
head" and Dutch courage, having been
beat at the mark by another, slapped his
fists together, and swore he was "spiting
for a fight," and could whip any man that
could beat him shooting.
This was not noticed by the man for
whom it was intended. That of course,
made him braver and madder. He roar
ed out .
I kin whip any blink•eyed sucker who
kin beat me shooting—whoop ee !"
The man aimed at still said nothing.—
Six-footer here biled over—so he walked
right up to him, shook his fists in his face
'•You kin shoot, km yout but you
dar'n's to fight me—l'm a unanimous hor
bee ! W hoopee !"
The man addressed still said nothing.
Six footer roared again the louder, and
said he must have a fight if he had 'to buy
"Look 'ere! Sfickemgoeusy, if you'll
give me u fair fight I'll give you a cow
Slickem deliberately began to strip....
Says he "if thar's anything to be made
I'm in. Six-footer-turned a little pale--
couldn't back down now—struck a ring—
pitched in, and Six footer got most con•
foundedly and soundly thrashed. Rose
shook the dirt off and swore he wouldn't
pay "for 'iwarn't in the bargain he was to
Slickem said .I'll sue you."
"Sue away !" said Six-tooter; and
mounted his bear skin and rode off.
Slickcm went to the county seat, saw a
lawyer told him his case ; lawyer told him
it Was a good case, and he would gain it
for him; told him to funk° out an account
'for labor done,' and sue before a justice
of the peace Ile did so ; justice of the
peace gave judgment for plaintiff; and or
dered the constable to drive I,he cow and
the calf to him. Here it rested. The de
fendant was heard to say ;
' , Well, I reckon that moot be law, but
my losing that cow and calf all come o'
my not kivering all the pints in the trade,
Dimensions of American Lakes .
The latest measurement of our fresh wa
ter seas are as follows :
The greatest length of Lake Superioris
335 miles; greatest breadth is 160 miles;
mean depth 988 feet ; elevation 687 feet;
area 33,000 square miles.
The greatest length of Lake Michigan
is 360 miles ; its greatest breadth 108 ms;
mean depth 800 feet ; elevation 087 feet;
area 13,000 square milos.
The greatest length of Lake Huron is
200 miles ; its greatest breadth 160 miles;
mean depth 800 feet ; elevation 674 feet ;
area 20,000 square miles.
The greatest length of Lake Erie is 250
miles ; its greatest breadth is 80 miles; its
mean depth 200 feet; elevation 555 feet;
area 6,000 square miles.
The greatest length of Lake Ontario is
180 miles ; its greatest breadth 65 miles ;
its mean depth is 500 feet; elevation 262
feet; area 6,000 square miles.
The total length of all Ave is 1,584 miles;
covering an area altogether of upwards of
90,000 square miles.
The neit Yankee enterprise we hearof
will bo the draining of these great basins,
fur "meadow land."
A Great Mistake.
Jim Ward is a conductor on the Eastern
Division of the New York Central Rail
road running daily between Utica and Al
bany. Ward has been in the employ of
the Central Railroad for a long period of
years, and is one of the oldest conductors
in the country. Invariably accommodating
and polite, he is particularly attentive to
ladies, and always manages to make him
self a favorite with those of the fair vex
who accompany the trains under his . di-
had her conveyed thereto. A physician
by the name of Beecher was on the train,
His services were immediately put in re
quisition, and in a short time Ward had
the pleasure of announcing•to his anxious
passsengers, that mother and babe were
"doing as well as could he expected under
The mother was a poor woman, and as
soon as it became known, Ward went a
round with a hat and in short time a hand
some purse was collected, and Jim with
his countenance absolutely filtering off hap.
piness, took it into the mother. After he
re-appeared the passengers proposed that
the child be named. No sooner said than
done. Jim went in and got the baby,
with the consent of its delighted mother,
brought it ought, when it was proposed
that it should be named "James Ward,"
after Jim, and Beecher, afterthe physi
cian who had professionally attended the
mother. It was adopted by acclamation,
the babe was named "James Ward Beech
er —." Jim with a smile of ill-con
cealed delight, was lugging off his little
namesake, when some or the ladies reques
ted to see the “little baby." It was pass
ed mini hand to Land arum,' th.
admiring the little bundle, but at the same
time a general disposition to smile and
stuff handkerchiefs in their mouths, be.
came manifest among the women—Jim
I wondered but wondered in vain, what this
subdued laughter meant, until the babe was
handed to an old lady. She had not had
it more than a minute or two when she
"Law, Suz !"
"Well, what's the matter," saia Jim,
'Why, it's a gal !" said the old woman,
bonding the babe to Jim.
Then rose a yell of laughter; the men
broke out first, then the women then they
broke out tcgether until one universal
scream filled the car. Several gentlemen
threw their hats and mufflers out of the
windows, while others endeavored, unsuc
cessfully, to 'saw their legs off.'—'l'he wo
men blushed and screamed ; the men
shouted and held their sides. In the
midst of this storm of fun and laughter,
Jim made his escape from the car with his
female "Jim Ward Beecher," and, for the
rest of the trip, on the platfarni of the
baggage carruminated on the changes and
imitations of human life.—Buf.
At a meeting of the American Board,
Dr. Bacon 'made a spicy allusion to this to
pic. Perhaps our readers would like to
see the thought as first stated by grand old
Saurin, (Sermon on 1 Cor. ix. 20, 27:)
"It was in this light, that God set the min
istry before Paul at first: "I will show him
how great things he must suffier for my
name's sake." Show linn how great things
ho must suffer,for my name's sake! 'What
a motive to engage a man to undertake en
office ! Now.a-days, in order to give a
great idea of a church, it is said : It has
such and such advantages, so much la cash
so much in small titles, and so much in
great titles. St. Paul saw the ministry on-1
ly as a path filled with thorns and briers,
and he experienced through all tht course
of his life, the truth of that idea which was
given him of his office. Hear the cata
logue of his sufferings : "Of the Jews
five times received I forty stripes save one,
r Thrice was I beaten with rode, once was I
stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night
and a day have I been in the deep. In
journeyings often, in perils of water, in pe
rils of robbers, in perils by my own coun
trymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils
-in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in
perils in the sea, in perils among false bre
' thren. In weariness and painfulness, in
watchings often, in hunger and thirst in fas
tinge often in cold and nakedness." Good
God ! what a salary for a minister ! Mtn
; ger, thirst, fastings, nakedness, peril, per
VOL. XXII. NO.-12.
Church Goers Excuses.
“Wind blows too hard—going to rain ;
head aches ; don't feel just right ; bonnet
is shabby; got a new novel—prornived to
return it to-morrow; sun is too hot; want
to rest; no other day to enjoy myself; got
a large dinner to cook; forgot to buy gloves;
too far off; only next door—can sit at my
chamber and hear the sermon ; minister
preaches too long; singing makes me ner
vous; got nothing for the contribution
box; baby sneezed this morning; going
to meeting don't save folks ; can read a
sermon at nome (bat won't); can't keep
awake ; lame foot and new shoes ; all
form ; ministers preach for pay—asked
our minister, why he still wanted more
salary, if he didn't preach for souls—said
he couldn't eat souls, (very sharp for a
minister); Susy D— has got a new
mantilla—won't go with my old one;
coughed once Ins Sunday—set all the
cOngregatios co ing; minister hasn't
called upon me p'svant to sort my letters
going a riding.”
Party Goers Emma
'Rain wont hurt me—neither sugar nor
salt; been doting on it a week; sun ain't
sp very hot; rather wear my old gown
than tot go ; cure my .headrche—always
does; worked hard all day, but don't feel
the least bit tired ; borrow a pair of gloves;
no matter fora carriage—Walked two miles
many a time—long walks do mo geed ;
put air the dinner—eat a cold cut ; Tom,
my's a little flushed, but that's nothing,
to danger ; want a bit of fresh air ; can
write that letter some other dry as well as
not ; ain't afraid of getting sleepy ; I tell
you where there's a will there's a way.,
and I'm bound to go.
A Chapter on Murders.—The Love of
Murders seem not to ~c ome singly, but
in battalions." The New York murder
was followed promptly by the one at Hing
ham, one of the most quiet of places; then
one in Altoona, one at Groton Junction,
and another in Manchester, N. H. Severe
and denunciatory newspaper comments do
to one. &Ise.. :raga:ft...y-441f1m,
but rather operate as a stimulus to the evils
deprecated. 'the love of notoriety is a
strong feeling with ninny, and they will ob
tain it sometimes at any cost. Newspa
pers should discontinue 'their romantic de
tails of murders and murderers. The hid
eousness should be unrelieved by any invi
ling circumstances for no such circumstan
ces can naturally be coupled with it. No
puling or morbid philanthropy should in
terpose to save the Riurderer from his just
doom. After his guilt is fairly proved, we
should have his seqtence pronounced with
the brief emphasis of Richard—" Off with
his head ;" for we think society cannot be
protected but by this summary vengeance.
One of the best things we have yet
seen on hoops, is tho following from the
Prairie (Miss.) Nevys, in the form of a
question put by a gentleman, who had
just returned home after a year's absence
On the way up front the landing, he
met a number of ladies. After kissing
his sister,.&c., he suid—"Pray are all the
girls in Aberdeen married ? I met Miss
, ‘Why, brother, Miss A. isn't mar.
"What, llot married! Nor Miss R.?
Nor Miss C. ? Nor bliss-?"
pshaw ! brother," said Sis, just
beginning to catch the idea, that's nothing
but hops !"
The Spirit of the Lord'e Prayer,
The spirt of the Lord's Prayer is beau
tiful. The form of petition breathes a6l
inl spirit—'Father.' t•
A catholic spirit—Our Father.
A reverential spirit—Hallowed be Thy
A inissionary spirit---Thy kingdom,
An obedient spirit—Thy will be done
A dependent apirit—Give us this day
our daily bread.
A forgiving spirit—And forgive our tres
passes as we forgive them that trespass
A cautious spirit—• Lead us not into
temptation, but deliver us from evil.
A confidential and adoring spirit—For
thine is the kingdom, and the power and
tho glory, forever, Amen.
A gentleman sat down to write a
deed and began with—"Kno•v one woman
by these presents."
"You are wrong," said a bystander "it
ought to be know all men "
"Very well," answered the other, "if
one . woman knows it, all men will oS,