~. • • . Ai. 1,...;•••• • , " • •„. „ - L • • \ • • f , Get •• WILLIAM BREWSTER, 1 EDITORS. SAM. G. WHITTAKER, * , tlett Vnetrg. SUNSHINE OP THE HEART. Oh 1 don't go sighing through the world There's sunshine all the way; if you'll but do the acts that e'er Reflect the blessed ray. It glistens in the grateful tear, That flows for kindly deed, And quivers iu the voice that sobs Its thanks, for help, in need. At sparkles oft in radiant smiles, . At tones, turned in the heart And guideth °mt. the page of life With beams that ne'er depart. It dwelleth in the loving book, That answers to our own, And swelleth up a spring of joy, To selfish touts unknown. It smooths the rugged ways of life, With carpets, soft and light, Woven of conscience free from frowns, And impulse acted right. - It cheers the darkest hour - on earth— Steels under sorrows deep : And even smiles above the path, That leads to dreamless sleep. OrapOt*littclys A PAIR OF SLIPPERS; FALLING WEATHER. Thin 1, and you, and all of us fell down, Whenever we look upon the crowded thoroughfare, or regard the large assembly we ore compelled to admit that the infinite I variety of form in the human race contrt butes largely to the picturesque!. The eye travels over the diversity of shape end size without fatigue, and renews its strength by turning from one figure to another, when, j . at each remove, it is sure to find a differ ence. Satiety with gazing at rotundity, it is refreshed by a glance at lathiness ; and, tired of stooping to the lowly, it can mount Nike a tird, to the aspiring head which tops : a maypole. But, while the potency of these pictorial beauties is admitted, it must be conceded that the variations from the true standard, althougli j good for the eye sight, are productive of much inoonveni ence ; and that, to consider the subject like a Benthamite, utility and general advan-, cage would be promoted if the total amount of flesh, blood, bone and muscle were mere equally distributed. As affairs are at pro. sent arranged, it is almost impossible Co find 4 a "ready made coat" that will answer one's purpose, and a man may stroll through half the shops in taws without being able to purchase a pair of boots which he can wear with nay degree of comfort. In hang ings lamp, every shop-keeper who "lights up," knows that is is a very troublesome matter so to swing it, that, while the short can see the commodities, the tall wi,l dot demolish the glass. If an abbreviated "turnippy" man, in the goodness of his heart, and in arlicido martin, bequeaths his wardrobe to a long and guant friend, of what service is the posthumous present 1 It is available merely us new clothing for the juveniles, or es something towards an other kitchen carpet. Many a martial spi rit is obliged to content himself' with civic employment, although a mere bottle of fire and wrath, because heroism is enlisted by inches, and nut by degree. If under "five foot six;" Caesar himself could find no fav or in the eye of the recruiting sergeant, and Alexander the Great would be allowed to bestride no Bucephalus in a dragoon re giment of modern times: Thus, both they who git too much, and they who get too little, in Dame Natare's apportionment bill as well as those who, though abundantly endowed, are not well made up, have div ers reasons fOr grumbling, and for wishing that a more perfect uniformity prevailed. Same of the troubles which arise from giving a man more than his share in alti• tuck, finds illustration in the subjoined nar rative Linkum Lengeslo is a subject in extol so. He is, to use the words of- tits poet, suggested by his name, -"A Sour "Of linked steccitiee, long drawit out :" and, in speaking Or him, it is not easy to be brief. Linkum is entirely too long for his own comfort—something short—if the word short may be used in this connexion —something short of the height of the Ti tans of old, who pelted Saturn with brick bats ; but how much has never yet been ascertained, none of his acquaintances be ing snfficiently acquainted with trigonom etry to detormine.the fact. 'lie is one of thoso men who, like the gentle Marcia ‘..tower above their sex," and must always be called down to their dinner, as eo infor mation can be imparted to them unless it be hallooed up ; and tn. conversing with whom, it is always necessary to begin by hailing the maintop. There is not, howe ver, more mateeial in Linkum than enough for a man of ordinary length. The fault is in his not being properly made up. He is abominably wire err wn —stretched out, an Shakapeare say's, almost to the crack of doom. It is clear that there has been an attempt to make too much of him, but the frame of the idea has not been filled out. Ile is the streak of a Colossus, and he re• sembles the willow wand at which Lock-1 sley shot his gray grins, shaft in the lists of Ashby de la Zouche. The consequence is, that Linkum is a crank vessel. If he wore a feather in his cap, he would be cap sized at every corner; and as it is, he finds it very difficult to get along on a windy day i without a paving stone in each coat pocket to preserve the balance or power. Ile is, however, of a convivial nature, and will not refuse his glass, notwithstanding the aptitude of alCohol to ascend into the brain and so to encumber it as to render a per pendicular position troublesome to (teen . who may be shorter than himself. When in this condition, his troubles are number less, and among other matters, he finds it very difficult to get a clear fall, there being ! in compact cities very little room to spare for the accommodation of long men tumb ling down in the world. - .pne evening Linkom walked forth to a convivial meeting, and supped with a set ! of jolly companions. Late nt night a ruin came on, which froze as it fell, and soon made the city one universal slide sufficient ly “glip," for all purposes, without the aid of saw dust. Of Linktun's sayings and doings at the redid board, no record.ie pre served ; but it is inferred that his amuse ments were not of a nature to qualify him for the safe performance of a journey so slippery as that which it was necessary to undertake to reach home. No lamps were -lighted, they who were abroad being un• der the necessity of supposing the moon shine, and of seeing their way as they walked or of gathering themselves up when they fell, by the lantern of imagination. 'Good night, fellers," said Linkum, at the top of the steps, as the door closed after bins. He pulled his hat over his eyes de terminedly, buttoned his coaat with resolu tion, and sucked at his cigar with that Von ; energy peculiar to men about to set forth on their way home on a cold, stormy night. The fire of the cigar reflected from his nose was the only illumination to be seen; an-1 Linkum, puttitig his hands deep into his pockets, kept his position on the first step of the six which were between him and the pavement. "I've no doubt," said he, as he puffed forth volumes of smoke, and seemed to cogitate deeply—"l've not the slightest doubt that thi; is as beautiful a night as e ver was; only it's so dark you oan't see the pattern of it. One night is pretty much like another night in the dark ; but it's a great advantage to'a good looking.ev ening, if the lamps are lit, so you can twig the stars and the moonshine. The fact is thet intiis 'ere city, we do grow the black est moons, and the hardest moons to find, I ever did sue. Sometimes I'm most dispo sed to send the bellinan after 'em—or get a full blooded ',inter to pint 'eta out, while. I hold a candle to see which way he pints. It woeldn't be a bud notion on sick aces mons to ask the inan in the steeple to ring which way the moon is. Lamps is lamps and moons is moons, in a business pint of view, but practically they ain't much if the wicks ain't afire. When the lumina ries are, as I may say, in the raw, it's bad for me. 1 can't see the ground as perfor ately as little fellers, and every dark night I'm sure to get a hyst—either a forrerd hyst or a backerds hyst, or some sort of a hyst—but more baekerds than forrerds, 'specially in winter. One of the most un• feeling tricks I knows of, is the way some folks have got at laughing out, yaw-haw ! when they see a gentleman ketching a rig gler hyst—a long gentlemen, for instance, with his legs in the air, and his noddle split down upon the cold bricks. A hyst of it, self is bad enough, withont being snigger ed at ; first, your sconce gets a crack; then you see all sorts of stars, and have free ad• mission, to the fireworks; then, you scram ble up, feeling as if you had no head on your shoulders, and as if it wasn't you, but some confounded disagreeable feller in your clothes ; yet the jacksnipes all grin, as if the misfortunes of human nature was only a poppet show., I wouldn't mind it, if you could get up and look as if you did n't care. But a man can't rise, after a royal hyst; without letting on he feels flat. In suoh cases; however, sympathy is all gammon ; and as for sensibility ol a win ter's day, people keep it all for their own noses, and can't be coaxed to retail it by the- small." Linkum pausod to his prophetic dieser. " LIBERTY AND UNION, NOW AND FOREVER, ONE AND INSEPARABLE. " HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY., MARCH 18, 1857. tation upan "hysts"—the popular pronun ciation, in these parts, of the word hoist, which is used—quasi locus a non lucendo —to convey the idea of the most complete tumble which man can experience. A fall, for instance, is indeterminate. It may be an easy slip down—a gentle visitation of mother earth ; but a hyst is a rapid, forci ble performance. which may be done,, as Linkum observes, either backward or for ward, but of necessity with such violence as to knock the breath out of the body, or it is unworthy of the noble appellation of hyst. It is an apt, but figurative mode of expression, and it is often carried still fur ther ; for people sometimes .say, "lower him up, and hyst him down." Our hero held on firmly to the railing, and peered keenly into the darkness with out discovering any ooject on which hip vision could rest. The gloom was sub stantial. It required sharper eyes than his to bore a hole in it. The wind was up, and the storm continued to coat the steps ,and pavements with a sheet of ice. 'lt's raining friz potatoes,' observed Lin kum ; "I feel 'em, though I can't see 'em, bumping the end of my nose ; so I must litv•ry home as fast as I can." fiqedless and hapless youth! He made. a vain attempt to descend, but, slipping, he came in a sitting posture upon the top step, and, in that attitude, flew down like lightning—bump ! bump ! bump ! The impetus he had acquired prevented hint from stopping on the sidewalk, not withstanding his convulsive efforts to clutch the icy bricks, find he Bkuted into the gut ter, whizzing over the curbstsne, and spla shing into the Water, like a young Niaga ra. A deep silence ensued, broken solely by the pattering of the rain and the howling of the wind. Linkum was an exhausted receiver the hyst was perfect, the breath being completely knocked out of hint. "Laws•a•massy !" at length he panted, 'ketching" breath at intervals, s and twist ing about as if in pain ; my eyes ! sich a hyst! Sich a quantity of hysts all in one! The life's almost bu nted out of rue, and I'm jammed up so tight, I don't believe hem so tall by six Inches as I WWI before. I'm druv' up and clinched, and have to get tucks in my trowsers." Linkum sat still, ruminating on the car tailinent of his fair proportions. and made no effort to rise. The door soon opened a gain, and Mr. Broad Brevis came forth, at which a low, suppressed chuckle wits ut tered by Linkum, as he looked. over his shoulder, anticipating "a quantity of hysts all in one" for the new comer, whose fig ure, however,—short and stout—was much better calculated for the operation than Linkum's. But Brevis seemed to suspect that . the sliding was good, and the skating magnificent. "No, you don't!" quoth he, as he tried the step with one foot, and recovered him self ; have'nt seen the Alleghany Port age milt inclined planes for nothing. It takes me to diminish the friction, and save the wear and tear." So saying, he quietly tucked up his coat tails, and sitting down upon the mat which he grasped with both *hand,, gave himself a gentle impulse, crying "All aboard!" and slid slowly but majestically dawn. As he came to the plain sailing across the pave ment, he twanged forth ..'ra-ra.ta-ia.ta.ra tra.a-a !" in excellent imitation of the post horn, and brought up against Linkum.— "Clear the course for the express mail, or VII report you to the department!" roared Brevis, trumpeting tho ..alarum," so well known to all who have seen a tragedy,— "'l'ra.tretra•ta•ra tra-a-a !" 's queer fun, anyhow,'•said a care ful wayfarer, turning the corner, with lan tern in hand, atid sock on foot, wto, after a'short parley, was induced to set the gen tlemen do their pins. First planting Bre vis against the pump, who sang ''Let me lean on thee," from the Sonnambula, to prime style, he undertook to lift up Link- UM. " , Well," observed the stranger, "this is a chap without no cad .to him—he'd be pretty long a drowning, any how. If there Was many more like him in the gutters, it would be better to get a windlass, an' wind 'em ups. I never see'd a man with so much slack. The corporation ought to buy him, starch I - 7im up stiff, cut a hole for a .clock in his hat, and use him for a steeple ; on. jy Downing wouldn't like to trust himself on the top of such a ricketty concern.— Neighbor, sliall I fetch the llumgno Soci ety's apparatus 1" "No—l ain't drownded, only bumped sewers. The curbstones have touched my feclinks. I'm all over like a map—blue, red, and green." "Now," said their friendly assistant grinning at the joke, and at the recompense he had received for the job, "now you two hook on to one another, like Siaineses, and mosey. You've only got to turntle one a top of t'other, and it won't hurt. Tortle off—it's slick going—'speciatly if you're going down. Push ahead!" continued he as he bitched them together ; and away they went, a pair of slippers, arm in arm. Many were their tumbles and many their inischances before they reached their se lected resting place. "I can't stand this," said Linkum to his companiv, as they were slipping and fal ling ; "but it's mostly owing to my being so tall, I wish I was razee'd, and then it wouldn't happen. The awning posts al most knock the head off me ; l'm always tumbling over wheelbarrows, dogs, and children, because, if I look down, I'm cer tain to knock my noddle against something above. It's a complete nuisance to be so tall. Beds are too short ; if you go to a tea-fight, the people are always tumbling over your trotters, and breaking their no ses, which is what young ladies ain't par tial to ; and if you tipple too much toddy of a slippery night—about as easy a thing to do as you'd wish to try--you're sure to get a hyst a square long—just such a one j as I've had. If I'd thought of it, I could have said the multiplication table while I was going the figure. Stumpy chaps. j such 'as you, aint got no troubles in this I world.' 'That's all you know about it,' pulled Brevis, as Linkum alternately jerked him from his feet, and then caused hint to slide in the opposite direction, with his heels ploughing . the ice, like a shaft horse hold ing buck : ''phew ! That's all you know about it—stumpies have troubles.' can't borrow coats,' added Linkum, soliloquizing, 'because I don't like cuffs at the elbows. I can't borrow pants, because' it isn't the fashion to wear knee-breeches, and my stockings are socks. I can't hide when anybody owes me a lambasting. You cuts sue me a mile. When I sit by the • j fire, 1 can't get near enough to warm my body, without burning my knees; and in ! a stage-coach, there's no rosin between the benches, and the way you get the cramp ----don't mention it.' 'I don't' know nothing an et ail tiles& things; but to imagine I was a tall chap" 'Don't try ; you'll bur yourself, for it's a great stretch of imagination for a little feller to do that.' After which amicable colloquy, nothing more was heard of theta, except that, be fore retiring to rest, they chuckled over ..the idea that the coming spring would sweat the ice to death for the annoyance I I it had caused them. But ever while they live, will they remember 'the night cf the hysts.' ilopular ;SZAttf.s: Over the mountain, and over the MOW', Comes the sad wailing of many a poor slave; The father, the mother, and children are poor, And they grieve for the day their freedom to Lave. Pity, kind gentlemen. friends of humanity, Cold is the world to the cries of God's poor, Give us our freedom, ye friends of equality, Give us our rights, for we ask nothing More. Call us not indolent, vile and degraded, White men have robbed us of all we hold dear ; Parents and children, the young and the aged, Are scourged by the lash of the r ugh over seer. Pity, kind gentlemen, Lc. Aud God in his mercy shall crown your endea• TM, The glory of heaven shall be your reword, The promise of Jesus to you shall be given, "late•, ye faithful, the joy of our Lord." Then pity, kind gentlemen, &e. 4 6Bott *ling DRESSING BEFORE GIRGN ! A PAINFUL PREDIt ANENT. Lewiston Falls, Maine, is a place, it is! You can't exactly find it on the map, for it has been located and incorporated since Mitchell's last; but it's there, a manufactu ring city, with' bunks, barber shops, and all the fixtures and appurtenances of a lo comotive, going ahead, Yankee settlement. Just about the newyst thing in the new city is a, new clothing store, that .riz up,' 'rained down,' lately, on the Jonah's gourd or Aladdin's palace principle, and which, by the same mysterious dispepsation, be came endowed with the cutest Yankee salesman that the Dirge State ever turned out. The other day, an up river young 'un. who is about to forsake father and mother, and cleave unto Nancy Ann, came (town to get his suit, and was, of course, 'bound' to find his way into the new clothing store. Not that he swaggered in with the easy swagger of the town-bred searcher of cheap clothing, for the verdant was tolerably fresh on hint yet, and he stopped to give a _ knock at the door. Ho had effected an entrance at the grist mill at the Journal office, where he had been doing business in the some unobtru- sive manner, and the boys agreed that Mr. Nehemiah Newbegin was from the 'Gulley,' and was paying his virgin visit to Pekin. Nehemiah was let in 'immejit. ly,' and was delighted with the cordial re. ception he met with. The proprietors were ready to forward his suit at once, if they saw 'fit' or they take measure and furnish him to order. Nehemiah drew a handbill from the top of his hat, and spread it on his knees for easy reference. I: was headed in Gothic letters, 'Winter Clothing at Cost,' and sta ted that in Consequence of the mildness of the season, over five thousand dollars worth of ready made clothing was to be closed up and sold at an 'Enormous Sacrifice I' A list of prices followed, and Nehemiah run ning his short, stumpy finger down the column, lit on a particular item. 'Say—ye got envy of these blew cotes left, at five dollars ?' 'Smith, are there any of those cheap coats left ?' inquired the polite Mark of his partner. 'We sold the last one this morn• ing, did we not 1' Smith understood the cheap clothing business, and answered promptly : 'All gone, sir.' 'Jest's as [expected,' murmured the dis appointed candidate; 'dernation seize't ell! I told dril they'd all be gone !' 'We have a very superior article for ten dollars.' "l'en dollars? that's an all-fired price for a cote ?' .We can make you one to order,' 'Y-e s ! but I want it now—want it right straight oft—the (tot is, Squire, I must have k I' 'You'd find those very cheap at ton dol lars.' !Dunne 'baout it ! say v'ye got enny of those dewrahle doeskin trotvsers left at tew 'ern all tew, I expect, hain't yet' Fortunately there were a few left, and Nehemiah was open for a trade, but acting on the instinct of the Newbegins, it must be a dibker. 'Dew you ever take projucu for your clothing ?' • Take what ?' 'Projuce—garden sass and side, don't do it, dew yew ?' 'Well, occasionally wo do, what have you to sell ?' 'Oh, almost anything; little of every. thing, frost marrowfat pens to rye straw; got the allkillinest dried' pumpkins you ever sot your eyes on,—'xpect neow, you'd like some of thal d 4.1 minions, squire ?' Murk declined negotiatiating for the dried punkin; but inquired if ho had any good butter. G o•o•d butter! now squire, I expect, I've got some of the nicest and yallerest you ever sot your eyes on; got some ecut here now—got some in , a shooger box, out in dud's wagon ; brought it down for Ker nel Waldron, bar k yeou can have it ; bring it rite strata in here, darned of I. don't !' On the strength of the butter, a dicker was speedily contracted, for which Nehe miah was put in immediate and absolute possession of a coat, vest and pants, of a good material and fit 'Now, then,' said Mark, 'what kind of a coat will you have P reckon I'll have a blue 'tin,' Yes, but what kind—a dress coat V 'Certainly, squire, certainly—jest what I want a coat for to dress in.' 'Alt, exactly, just look at those plates,' pointing to the fashion plates in the win dow; and see what style you fancy.' '0 darn your plates—don't want any crockery ; 'spect Nancy has got the allkil linest lot of arthenware you ever sot eyes ou. Yes, I see ; just step this way, then, stud I think 1 can accommodate you.' Nehemiah soon selected a nice blue coat, and a vest of green, but was more fastidious in his choice of the punts, those crowning glories of his now suit. Ho ap peared to indulge a weakness for long pan taloons, and complained that ids last pair had troubled him exceedingly, or, ache expressed it, ‘blamedly,' by hitching up over his boots, and wrinkling about the knees. Nelidmiah delved away impetuously a mid a stock of two or three hundred pair of lengthy ones, real blazers, with wide yellow stripes running each way. Neb. iniah snaked thorn out in a twinkling. He liked them—they were long and yellow, just the thing, and he proceeded at once to put them on. The new clothing store .had a corner curtained off for the purpose, and Nehemiah was speedily closed therein. The pants had straps, and the straps were buttoned. Now Nehemiah had seen straps before, but the art of managin' them was a mystery. On consideration he do. cided that the boots must go on first. Ire then mounted -a chair, elevated his pants at a proper onele, and endeavored to coax his legs into them. He had a time of it. His boots were none of the smallest, and the pants were none of the widest; the chair, too, was rickety, and bothered him ; but bending hil engy to the task, he succeeded in in ducing one leg into the 'pesky things.'— He was straddled like the Colossus of Rhodes ; and just in the act of raising the other foot, when whispering and giggling in his immediate vicinity, made him alive', to the appalling fact, that nothing but, a chintz curtain separated him from twenty or thirty of the prettiest and wickedest girls that were ever ranged in one shop, Nehemiah was a bashful youth, and would have made a circumbendibus of a mile any day, rather than meet those girls even if he had been in full dress; as it was his mouth was much ajar at the bare pos• sibility of making his appearance among them in his present dishabille. What if there wus a hole in the curtain ? What if he should fall ? It wouldn't bear thinking of, and plung ing the foot Into the vacant leg with a sort of frantic looseness, he brought on the very catastrophe he was so anxious to avoid, The chair collapsed with a sudden scrouch, pitching Nehemiah heels over bead thro' the curtain, and lie made u grand entrance among the stitching divinities on all fours like a fattened rhinoceros. Perhaps Collier himself never exhibited a more striking tableau vivant than was now displayed. Nehemiah was a 'model' every inch of him, and though not exactly revolving on a pedestal, he was going thro' that movement quite as well on his back— kicking and plunging, in short personifying in thirty seconds all attitudes ever chis eled ! As for the gals, they screamed of course, Jumped up on cite& and cutting, boards, threw their hands over their faces, peeped through their fingers, perfectly na tural l—screamed agatn, and declared they should die—they knew they should ! .0, Lord ! blubbered the distressed young man i 'don't, gals, don't ! I didn't go tew, I swan to man 1 didn't,--it's all owing to these cussed trowsers—ev'ry mite on't, ask your boss, he'll tell you how it was. 0, Lord ! won't nobody kiver me up with old clothes, or turn the wood-hex over me 0, Moses in the bulrushes, whut will Nan- w , cy say?' He managed to raise himself on his feet, and nude a bold plunge towards the door; btu the entangling alliauces tripped hits again, and he fell kerslap upon the goose of the pressman. This was the unkindest cut of all. The goose had been heated expressly for thick cloth seams, and the way it sizzed in the seat of the new pants was afflicting to the bearer. Nehemiah riz in an instant, and seizing the source of all his troubles by the slack, he tore him self front all save the straps and some frag- Ments that hung about his al:cies, us he dashed through the 'Emporium at a'2:4o rate, and 'made tracks' for hum. The Dutch Widower. "Mine troy vos no better us she ort to be till shust befuru she diet ; then she vas so good as before," remarked Mr. Vander hoard to his neighbor. "Your wife was an amiable woman, and ynu do great injustice to her memory," said Mr. Pluggins. • "Vel, vat you know so much about mine Prow ?" I was not immediately acquainted with her, but I ant sure that all her acquintan nes loved her. 6, Vot right had they to love her? May be— " May be what ?" "May be you love mine Prow, too." "Why do you speak so strangely !" "Vy, von day a pig man shunt like you canto into our house and kissed mine kow right before her face." "Were you present at the time ?" "to pe sure I vos." "Well, what did you do ?" "I kicked !tint right pehind his pack." "Did be resent it ?" "Yaw, he broke me and te looking glass and all the rest of the crockery in te house ce?t the fodder ped, int* tam smash r , "What did you do then ?" 'Then I cried muter! muter! muter ! and I called for the shudge, and to shury and to te poleice office and to constoble to come and he rued avey ?" "Do you intend to charge the with ta- FOL. XXII. NO. 11. king such unwarrantable liberties with the companion of your bosom ?" , 'Ale no charge nothing for it now, pe cause she pe tead and perried." "I will not allow you to make such in sinuations. You are an old tyrant, and everybody said you was glad your wife di ed." "Everypodypo one tarn liar." "I saw no symptoms of sorrow. Me felt more wosht tan if my best cow had Lied "Your cow ! What a comparison ! "She vos a great loss—a heavy loss— for she was pig as dat, (spreading out his arm) and she weighed more tan two bun-. dred pounds." "Look out old man or you will see trouble—l doubt if your wife was ever kissed by any man after her marriage.— At all events you inusi apologise for what you have said of me." "Vot is pologise ?" - "You must beg my pardon ana say you are sorry; if you do not I will enter a complaint against you, and have you ar rested." pe sorry ten." Sorry for what V "Sorry you kissed mine Prow." "You Incorrigible idiot ! Thai is not what you must say, for I hover did such a thing in my life. "Must I say pc sorry that you 'never do such a thing ?" • “No—you must take back What you have said." While the Dutchman was in this dilem ma, his friend Hans Hamburger came a long and finally succeeded in reconciling the parties, when the trio adjourned to a neighboring coffee house. Quter Wu/qt.—Three small boys went into an spa tkocary's stare a few days since, when tho youtk A cent's worth of rock candy ?'' Don% sell a cent's worth," was the 144 - _ . The boys adjournedoutside, and held a con• sultation, and then entered, all smiling. "Du you sell three cents' worth V' willAtell.threo cents' worth," we don't want any," was the quick re, ;posse, us the , boys left the store. .Iloops in Me Olden Thee.—The following lines are copied front an old magauine : "Ye white hridLd widows, young virgins and old Who wear hooped petticoats, we take it fin granted, (Indeed, the moo is so plain, that we need not he told,) 'Tin the true swell of nature alone that in wanted." t . tit'‘At a laic public Meeting tho following ',lcy" toast was given. The author will get "buttered" when he reaches home : The Press—the Pulpit—arid Petticoats; the three riding powers of the day. The first spreads knowledge, the second morals, the last spreads —considerably. Sltir• The editor of the Nebraska News, says a green member in their Legislature, on the day of organization, said—Mr. Speaker, I move that u ,we vote vice versa. The house roared:— the member not understanding what it meant, asked—"was i not that in order ? I don't know rinthing about these d—d parliamentary rules. 26y. Some editor says that '•the destiny of the world often hadgs on the smallest`trifies.— A little miff between Chates Bonaparte and his love Ketetia, might luv broken off a mar riage which gave birth to Napoleon and the battle of Waterloo." yes, that's a foe'. Sup. pose a little miff bad taken place between Ad amant] Eve ; what then? SrarA lady once remarked to Chrles Lamb that she did not care for him three skips cf a louse. The witty gentleman at once took w card and wrote and handed her the following A lady once told me, and in her own house, That she eared not for me three skips of a louse; I forgaVe the deur creature for what she had said For ladies will talk of what caw in their head. kir A noted politician was recently caught by a friend perusing the Scriptures. Upon as. king hint what particular portion of the good book Le had selected for examination, ho repli. ed : 'I am reading the story abcut loaves and fishes.' Arrr"There is a woman at the bottom ery mischief," mid Joe. "Yes," replied Char. ley, "when I used ro get into mischief, my ins titer wns at the bottom of me. But it never did sny good—it only taught me to cheat and' lie like the devil." X 012.1 "An' will ye be Lather telling what kind o' baste ye call this?" said a newly arrived Irish. into, holding up a wasp between his thumb and linger. "Och, murder 1 spake quick, for he's biting me 1" .1 Riddle— Between a thick got hedge of bones, A small rod dog now harks, now moans. •:luna .toasun au, I onNuol Inman( v„ A Scene in New nrk.—Shopkeeper—"Hul. 10, there ; here—you nigger, what are you do ing with those boots ?" l'so only jos' ta kin"um away." - Shopkeeper—" Taking away, you scoundrel, don't you know that stool tng V "Be koelltd, manna, how you 'cuag din niggn oh stenlin'. Pao morally insane
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers