1 if- HI HI - U !4 4 THE BLESSINGS OF' &tT7EBXMEXT, LfKE THS DEffS OF HEAVES, SHOCXD BB BISTBXBSTElj ALIKE tfOS TUB HIGH AND TI1X LOW; THE Bid 'A.ST THE POOR. 1 II r 0 SERIES. TEH91 S: IlltsheJ every Wednesday Morning at LVrrv ' v:Ta nor annum i,?v.irce: One Dollab and Sevestt fvsw if "ot Paul wilin Sl3t months, and (EH )i.LAr.s if not paid until the termination 1 - W.1 1" .. .:.i,c,;nt nn-v-'.H ue ias.cn lor biiurici II .... . . ,1 1 9"l"k" i i :v :niu, i tlian six raontns. aim nuuui.iiu m" "iberty to discontinue his paper until all ar-a-w are paid, erccret -at the optida of the or. .,y person subscribing for six rl OSE DOLLAR. UlllcSS the months vrVil he money is paid .ivrtuiic Rates. fi,it insert'n. Two do. Three do snare, 12 lines I 50 $ 1 2 G $3 4 7 9 12 22 $1 2 3 12 $5 9 12 14 20 00 00 00 ares, 1 CO 1 50 months. $1 50 2 50 4 00 6 00 10 00 15 00 00 00 lo. 00 50 00 00 00 00 do 00 00 00 rc or less. ,,Ure, f 12 lines mns, '2i lines 1n.in's.6 lines 00 00 00 f a column. AH advertisements must he marked "ith .' number of insertions desired, or !ihy Will 'be inneil until forbid, and charged accordingly. Select Poetry- I :s7lT SHflEAMllTG. st thinking idly dreaming Of the friends my heart once knew. Till my fancy brought their beaming, Laughing faces back to view, Olden pleasures, -scene ot childhood, Pas.4d before in shadowy train; "TiW I roaiiifcd once more the wild wood. And I as a boy again. tick through years and sorrow Oe'r bright hopes that couid Rdt i&st, Till my heart did eager borrow Suuliglit from the buried -past As these phantoms by me glided, In the twilight dimly there, I heard again the "vtfice, that guidod Mine so oft in mfant prayer. Q'lictTy turning, to the grasping Her i ur j hand within my own, Xight before mo nothing clasping Fur the vision fair had ifLiwa Oh my years m-ey va'n'iA, Disappear iatime'a dark sea; SiULt of earthly fcrief can bauuh Thy remembrance dear rem me. TUC VrOR&IA'GJX.tV. T-tobicst men I know on earth, X-e men whose hands are brown with toil; backed by o ancestral slaves, H:w down the woods and till the soil, Aal win thereby- a prouder fame Than follows k?g or warrior name. Tae worVingmen, what'er t'neir task, To carve the aUXio or bear the hod They war upon t?eir hoiK-st brows The royal ttamp and seal God! Ami brighter are the drops of sweat Thau ilirr.onds in a ci tonet! G'd bless tire n.b;5 workiagmen, Wiorear the cities of the plain, ho dig Ihe miner and build tire bhip?. And drive the commerce ot the main; G .!b!css them, for their swarthy hands n r . "What ia thunder makes vou look so grum "Oh, Tve hud to endure a sad trial to my .lings." "To your pheelinga ! What on airth was "Why. ahem ! T had to tie on a nrettv ifFs bonnet whilo hpr ma was looking nn !" Sad trial indeed. Tom. Wonder vou U&'l faint !" fcvsiLT Ccred Fkecklks. Take a nut tt prater and rub the iskiu eutirely from jwir fae and neck ; then, with a hot iron. the fcurface perfectly smooth. Hub 'til ita oil of vitriol, and cover the tops of 'u. The next skin that crows will be "e, and perfectly free fron freckles. A little girl said: 'Mother is Tom a Pod cat ?" Y es." Wtll, Le'll go to heaven, won't EUMtosft bo hnt if VHi'rs no he r not a better ...i . 4 r. - j fnyoa will never eet there." . "Ob." said the little cirl. -Til hdd on to -Ooxe Craky. ' Well youv e been CJ' to Wk at Texas: did yoa see any thiD J.d friend , there?' Ycs; gone dera gone ueran Real crazy what Yen. indeed: he does not know n hog3 from his neighbor's.' v A.' the Bums celebration in New itVv Francis thus related his interview tonnie Jean Madame,' said the doc t!l ' 0Ur busband was a great man.' So Kohrt e'lme' 8a"l,i tho god wife, 'but oert never said a word to me about it and 6eas seldom at home.' . i aim .v. !?rvant asked her mistress whether fenl, r vw,6e "Cr by going out oa a par jjj,, - as nut) wu r'v ua wanted tho h.nn uoou, as sue was going to nave a room of tho urawmg A friend who recently returned from !e hAym' m rep,y 10 a qaeston as to where t5ce , ' r.ePlied' tavebeen after an te n got the refusal of it-' sofjl? V10" taU ia cut ff-entirely, will tuuerf re with his locomotion? latit ifi, r l wiU not effect bia carriage, ' lUetcphia waggicg. 1 ittlSCCllaUCDUSu JACK. IS PICOSrERITY. Jack had dow been in the service of his master for seven years, and wishing to change bra -situation, he said to him. 'Master, my time is out. and I should like to return home again to my mothe; please pay me now the residue of my wages.' His master replied to him You have served me faithfully aJ hon estly; and as your service has been so, you shall be rewarded.' And he cave him a lump of gold, which was as big as Jack's bead. Jack pulled his handkerchief cut of, his pocket, and Laving tied it around the lump. he put it on his shoul der, and started a hfe ?a!y home And as he walked along Tstep by step. h3 met a horse man who mounted on a lively steed, ttas trot ting by hita merrily and briskly. Ah, said Jack, so loud that the traveler coti!dhear him quite distinctly, 'what a splen did thing it is to ride ou horse back, lou can sit as comfortably as in a chair there is no danger of your stut&bling against any stone, lou save j'ourself and shoes, and you get on you scarcely know how.' 1 he horseman, bearing this, CFlled out to him said: Eh Jack What is the reason ydu are travelling on foot?' Why, because 1 am obliged to carry thrs lump here; it's gold :to be sure, but I can not carry my head -straight tvith it, and then too, it weighs somewhat heavily upon my i ii "j .thi .-li t.. l: I l- snouiaor. a. u ieii you wuai, repweu iub horseman, stopping his horse,' we will ex change; "I will give you my horse, and you give me your lfenyp "of gold for it. With all my heart, said Jack, btt i must tell you beforehand, you will have hard work to get along with it. The horseman dismounted, and took Tie gold, while helping Jack into the saddle, and after helping him to hold the reigns tight in his hands, he added: Now if you want hira to go fast, you have only to chuck a little with your tongue and call hopp, hopp.' .Jack was delighted in his very soul, as he was thus seated on the stately horse, and ri ding along as magniSccoiIy and merrily as a knight. Hut after a little while it occurred to him, that he ought to advance a little fast er, and he began to chuck the horse a little with his tongue, and to call out hopp hopp! Whereupon the horse at once launched ahead in a very fast trot, and before Jack became aware of it, he was thrown and found himself lying in the ditvh whseh seperated the field from the highway. His horse would havb run away from him Into the bargain, had it not been stopped by a farmer who happened to be passieg that way, and who was driving a cow before him. Jack, however, soon picked himself up, and got upon bra legs again But he was very much out of humor and said to tho farmer: It is no pleasant joke this riding on horse back, especially if you happen to get a. mare like this, that trots so hard, and throws you, so that you might break your neck, I am de termined never to get on one again. I'd much rather have a cow like yours, where one can walk along behind at his leisure, and is sure to get him milk, butter and cheese into the bargain every day. I'd give any thing to have such a cow.' Well.' said the farmer, 'if that would be doiDg you so great a favor, I would tro Til ling to exchange with you, and to give you my cow for your horse.' Jack was too dtlightrd to accept the prop osition at once; and the farmer having vault ed into the saddle of the horse, galloped away with it as fast as he could. Jack now quietly pursued his journy, dri ving his cow before him, and thought over the lucky bargain he had made. If I have nothing but a piece of bread and I shall certainly never be in want of that I hope then I cau eat my butter and my cheese with it as often as I please. If I am thirsty, I have odIv to milk ibt cow. and drink some of the milk. What more canst thou now devise my soul. And when ho came to an inn, he stopped, and in his creiit delight at his success, he eat up all the victuals he had with him, his din ner and his supper both, and expended the last farthicg he had in his pocket, on a glass of ale. lie then drove on steadily towards the vil lage where his mother lived. But the heat became more oppressive the nearer the hour approached noon, and Jack found himself on a heath which might extend perhaps a league further. And he felt so hot that his tongue nearly cleaved to the roof of his mouth. 'I can easily remedy the difficulty,' said Jack to himself, 'I will now milk my cow and get some refreshment from her milk." Thereupon he tied her to an old withered tree, and held his leather cap under in place of a pail. But in spite of all his efforts cot a drop of milk would make its appearance. As he was rather awkward in his attempts to milk her, the animal at length got out of patience, and gave him such a kick on the head, with one of her hind feet, that he reel ed and fell on the ground, and was for some time entirely unconscious as to where he was. At that very moment it luckily to hap pened that a butcher was passing that way, driving a wheelba'rrow with a pig in it. 'What kind of va scrape are you in hero,' said he, while he assisted poor Jack in get ting up again. , -. Jack told him what had taken place, and how he got kicked over by the cow. The butcher handed him his flask and said to him: 'There, take a drink and recover yourself! Your cow is not likely to give any milk at all, for she is too "old a creature, and is scarcely fit for anything butvthe yoke or the butcher's knife. 'Ay. ay said Jack, whilo passed his hand through, his hair, 'who wauld over have ( EBEXSBURG, PA., WEDNESDAY, JtLY 6, 1859 thought of that. It's an excellent thing, to be. cure, if due has such an animal to kill for , domestic use, and what a quantity, of meat j one gets from it I But I am not Very fond of: cow's meat; it is not juicy enough for ni'e. Yes, yes, if I had only a young hog like yours, That would be a different taste, 'to say nothing of the "sausages.' I'll tell you, Jaok,' replied the butcher, 'to oblige 'you I will exchange with you, and give you my hog for your cow.' 'God blew .you for .your friendship I' ex claimed Jack, and surrendering his cow, he -got tba butcher to untie the pig from the wheelbarrow, and took the lino to which it was fastened into bis hands. Jack proceeded cn his journey' homeward, delighted in bis heart, as he thought, over the success of bis exchanges, for what 'if -sometimes he did get into a little trouble, did he not got out of it again at once to his entire (Satisfaction ! As he was walking en thus musing to himself, he was joined by a young fellow who was carrying a splendid white goose under his arm. They bid each other good morning, and then Jack began to tell him what good luck he had mt with, and how fortunate he always was in his bargains. The young fellow to!d him that he was carry ing his goose to a house where they were getting up a christening dinner. 'Just lift it once he contiuueJ, 'and feel how heavy it is. But this i? cot surprising when I tell vou that &ha has been crammed these eight weeks Tho man who gets "plate of a roast like this will Lave to use his napkin more than once at it if he wants to keep his chin clean.' 'It is so said Jack, as he was balancing the goose ia his Land'; 'she is heavy enough, but then my pig is no sow either. Meanwhile the young fellow began to look about him on every side as if he were suspi -cious. and now and then would shake his head. 'See here, Jack said he after a littl while, 'I am afraid there is something wrong about your pig. The burgomaster of the vil lage through which I have just passed has had one stolen from his stye quite recently, and 1 m inclined to tains tnis is the very one. It is bo, and vou are caught with it, vou will be in a bad scrape. They'll have you shut up ia the dark lantern, to say the least of it. i'eor dacx was irigutenea at tne very Uiougnt or such a thing. 'Mercy said he, 'then you must help me out of danger. Yon are better acquainted in these parts loan 1 am 1 wish you would take my pig and give me your goose for it ... 'I shall iucr some risk with it. nndouht". edly said the young man, but then I do not wish to be the cause of your getting into trouble, and so I will not refuse. Whereupon he took the rope into his hand and drove the pig away on a by-path that branched off from the main road, as fast as he could go; but Jack, who now felt entirely free from caro or apprehension, pursued his journey homeward with his goose under his arm. This bargain properly considered, said he to himself, will prove even an advantage to me. For in the first place. I shall get out of it an excellent roast for dinner, and when the quantity of fat which will ooza out of it in roasting, and which I can spread on my bread instead of butter for three months at and lastly the magnificent . white feathers, with which I'll get pillows stuffed, and then I'll warrant you I'll fall asleep on it without being rocked or cradled. Wha: a joy this will be to my mother ! . lie had just passed through the last village on the road, when he met a scissors grinder with his cart, who accompanied the rattling music of his wheel with tho song : . w Im grinding my scissors before and behind, And set up my sail to every wind. Jack stopped a moment to lake a look at him, and by and by ha spoke to him and said : " ' 'You must be doing a successful business, since you are so merry at your grinding 'I am, indeed replied the scissors-grinderj my trade has a golden bottom to it, aud a good workman at it is a man that never puts his hands into his pocket without rinding money in it. But pray tell me where did you buv that splendid goose of yours i I did not buy it anywhere ; I got it in ex change for my pigJ 'And the pig V Why that I got for my cow.' And the cow ?' That I got for my horse , 'And the horse ?' 'For that I gave a lump of gold as big as my head. 'And the gold V V by, that was tuo residue ot my wages for seven years' service You have always got along very well, see added the grinder, 'now, if you ever get so far as when the money jingles in your pocket whenever -you put your hand in it, your fortune is a made one.' 'And how shall I set to work about that ? - Ynu must become a -grinder like myself, and for that purpose you in fact want noth ing but a grindstone, the rest will come as a matter of course. - 1 have one here with me, which is already somewhat worn, but I will charge nothing more for it than your goose Will you agree to that?' How can you ask me such a question?' answered Jack, if 1 have money as often as I put my hand into my pocket, am I not then provided for life t And thus savinc bo reached him bia gooso 'Well said the grinder, as be picked up a heavy field-stoao which happened to be Iy ing bv his side, 'there I will make you i present of an excellent lap 6tone which may bo useful to you. You can hammer your old nails on it. Take it and preserve it careful lv ": . , ". Jack went along with a laerry heart, his very "eyes sparkling with joy, as he said to himself : I must have been born with a silver spoon in my mouth, for all my wishes and desires are gratified as if I were a Sunday child.' But as be had been on his leg since day break, he began to be quite weary now, and then he began to be tormented by hunger, too, for he had consumed all his provisions st once, in cis aeitgnt over tne grand bargaiu he had made when he traded away his cow. It was only with great difficulty that be co'd get on any farther now, and he was obhed to stop evsry moment, and then the stones on his shouloers, tco, felt abominably heavy, so that he l oula not help thinking what a fine thing R.sould be if he were not obliged to carry tbctn aiy further. lie thus moved slowly onward like a snail. until he reached a Spring by which he wanted to benu over to get a drink. But in order that he might not injure the stones in setting them down, he laid them down by his Fids, close to the edge of the well. Thereupon he turned around, and wanted to bend over to get a drink, when he inadver tantly hit his elbow against the stones, so that both of them fell -plump into the water. Jack jumped up for joy, and then fell on his knees in gratitude to God, with tears in his eyes, for having shown this great mercy, and delivered him from his burden in so miracu lous a manner, and said that this had been the only thing, he needed to complete his happiness. There is not another man under the sun as happy as I am now he exclaimed, and with a merry heart, and exempt from every burden, he ran forward,- until he was at home with his dear mother. A Tale rr'UsKEO.oiiTED Love. The edi tor of the Eureka "Union" relates as follows how he once fell in love and 'got the mitten:' "We were never, kind readers, 'desperate in love' but once, and that was with a red no, auburn hiired girl with a freckled com plexion, and who had bnt few pretensions to beauty ; but then she had such really beauti ful eyes, deep liquid Orb's, through which her soul in moments - of tenderness looked out with a passionate fervor, and in joyous mirth flashed and sparkled with the light of a thou sand dew drops diamonds we were going to say but we never saw a thousaud diamonds. Her name was Laura which when breathed softly by a very soft lover, is a sweet name and her clear ringing laugh fell all around you like a shower of silver bells. Moreover, she wore a dark wine colored dress, trimmed with lilac colored velvet and dark frioge, with a neat white collar of fine lace, which is the prettiest of dresses, and has the effect to i-o a -r-rry .Uin - gtri too It afecoi-atet j Cttir- mmg. ona never pertoraieu uer ears to nacg tfrcreby a p?ndulum of brass and glass ; and Ihe only ornament on the little white band, which needed none, was a plain gold ring, sacred to the memory of a maiden promise. Well, one evening, it was summer time we sat alone in the porch by the cottage door holding that little white hand in a .gentle ressure. one arm had stolen around her waist, and a silent song of joy, "like the mu. sic of the night," was in our soul. Our lips met in a sweet, delicious kiss, and bending, softly to her ear we whispered a tale of pas sionate devotion we proposed. . In a mo ment she tore her band from ours, and with look of ineffable scorn, Bhe said in a voice trembling with suppressed rage, "Vhat, marry an editor I yoii git outT' We slid. Mosev vs. IIusbands. A correspondent of a Western paper relates this incident : Just as lb& tram was about starting tor GreehfieTd,'lfriday"morning, on the "Vermont and Massachusetts Railroad, a sprightly tittle woman with a child, took a seat in tho car near where I was sitting. The cars were be ginning to move and the little woman looked anxisously through the end window of the rear car for her missing husband, who was in the depot attending to the purchase of tick ets. &c. Tho speid of' the car increased and the r . . rr-i . 1 1 1 woman lootcca more anxious, ine nusoauu now appears and commences to run. He gains on the Cars at first, but they are too - , . . . . - far ahead of him, and soon leave nim nenina, although he did run well for a season, It is now the wife s turn to try wuat sue can uo. In aony she implores the conducter that her "husband is left, but ho can t help that. 1 am starting on a journey and can't get along without my husoand "Then let him attend to his business next time." was the cold answer. "But," says the woman, "I have no money with me." ' The brakes were applied, and tho cars brought to. a stand still, and the panting husband erters the cars to the delight of all thr nassengers. esneciallv of his wife. Moral money will stop traits of cars much quicker than husbands. Italy s Glories. Ihe hrst modern epic poet, says a French writer, is an Italian, Dante ; the first lyric poet, Petrach ; the first poet of chivalry, Tasso ; the first romanticist poet, Ariosto ; the nrst modern late writer, Boccacio; the first sculptor, Michael Acgelo; the first vigorous political writer, and the first historian of Modern Italy, Machiavelli ; the first philosophical historian, Vico ; the discoverer of tho New World, Christopher Columbus ; the first demonstrator of the laws of the celestial sphese, Galileo ; were all Italians. Morphef European Victories. The Chess Monthly givci; a table showing Mr Motphey's scores in Europe. Out of 149 even games he won 117. lost 19, and 13 were drawn. Of 33 blindfold games ho won 29, lost 1, and 12 were drawn. Of 35 consultation games he on 17, lost 2, aud 16 were drawn. Giving the pawn and move he won 18 games lost 2, and 5 were draw u, GWing pawn aad two moves he won 14 games, lost 2, and 1 was drawn. - The Conflagration or Old itoine. Crowded, as the mass of citizens were, in the close wooden dwelling chambers, ' acci dents were constantly occurring which in volved whole streets and quarters 'of the city in wide-spreading conflagrations, and the efforts of the night watch to stem those out "bursts of fire, with few of the appliances, and little, perhaps, even of the discipline of our modern police, were but imperfectly 'ef fectual. But the greatest of all the fires which desolated Rome was that which broke out on the 29th of July, in the year 817, the tenth Nero, which began at the eastern end of the circus, abutting cn the Palatine.Vhctice they forked in two directions, following the draught of - the valleys. At neither point were they encountered by the nrisom-y of walls cr temples, 'till 'they had gained "iftch head that the mere intensity of the heat crumbled brick and stone like paper. The Circus itself was filled "from end to end with wooden galleries, along which the fire cour sed with, -aspeed which defied all check and pursuit. The flames shot up to the heights adjacent, and swept the basements of many noble structures on the Palatine and Aven tine Again they plunged into the lowest levels of the city, the dens, habitations and narrow winding streets of the Velabrum and Forum Boarium, till stopped by the rivers and the walls. At the same time another torrent rushed towards thts Velia and the Es quiline. and sucked up all the dwefangs witb in its reach, till it was nally arrested by the cliffs beneath the gaidens of Majcenas. Amid the horror and confusion of the scene, the smoke, the blaze, the din, and 'the scorching heat, with half the population, bond and free. cast loose md houseless into the streets, ruf fians were seen to thrust blazing branda into the "buildings, who affirmed, wloa seized by the indignant sufferers that they were acting with orders ; and the crimp, which was pro bably the desperate recourse of slaves and robbers , was imprated by 'fierce suspicion's to the Governm ent. Melancholy Tragedy in the Pix Woods. A correspondent of the Camden (Ala.) Republic relates the following melancholy acd shocking story : I learned from a source perfectly reliable, "on Saturdav last. while oa a visit to the south-west oi the county ot YV llcox, tnat Jir. Davis, a very poor man, who resided with his wife and" four children ia a sparsely set tled piney woods neighborhood in this coun tv. was confined to his bed by a disease threatening his life, when his. two eldest children, (sons,") who assisted him in the cul tivatioa of his farm, after completing their tasks on Monday last, went in search of an gelica, commonly called earl-root Procu ring a large quantity, ss they supposed, of the root sought they ate freely of it, and took with them some for the children who remained at home. They also partook of it The root? proved to be deadly hemlock. In a few hours the two first named were seized with convulsions and died. The remaining two. who had not eaten so much of the poi son. were also seized with convulsions, aud became blind and deaf. To add to the hor ror of the scene, tbe mother was taken in labor, and gave birth to a fifth child. In this situation the family remained until the following Wednesday, no one of the family being able to leave the house, and no neigh bor crlling. On Wednesday, a passing neigh- called, and found the dead children still in their clothes in which they died, aud lu a state of decompostion. Their condition was soon made known to all in reach The dead were buried, and tho living have since been properly cared for- A Quaker's Onxirx of a Cnuucn Okgajt. The following is vouched for as a fact by Harper's Magazine : The Society of Friends, as is well known, are among the roost upright and worthy of the Christian sects. Their mode of public worship is very plain and simple. Divested of all forms and ceremocies, they profos to serve God in spirit aud in truth ; sometimes in silence, at other times by exhortation or preaching by 6ome one who feels impelled to address them. Thomas Coles more fainilhrly known, from his great amiability and good nature, as Tommy Coles was a consistent member of this society. At the delightful village of Glen Cove, Long Island, where he resided, the Episcopal congregation had- just erected in their church a very sweet-toned organ, which was the admiration not only of the members, but to many others who were at tracted to tbe service by the eloquence of the Rev. Mr. Mal'.aby, tho rector. On some particular occasion our venerable friend, Tommy Coles, took a seat among the congre gation, and his opinion of the organ was gathered from the following conversation a few days afterward : "Friend Mallaby, I am pleased that thee has got such a fine organ iu thy church." "But." said the clergyman, "I thought you were opposed to havirg an organ in the church " "So I am," replied Tommy, "but then if thee will worship the Lord by Machinery, I would like thee to have a first-rate instru ment." tGUMr. Fudge, ia describing an interview with bis Mary Ann says : She put one arm around my neck, and t'other one whar the circling goes round a hoss, tuk the iaturn on me with her left foot, and give mo a kUs.- My toes felt like as if mianies were nibbling at uni a cold streak ruu up aid down my back like a lizzard with a turkey hen after him in settin limo, and my stumiuick was hot and onsaiisfied like. Bjs. 'What church you' attend Mrs' Partington?'. ' ' ' Cb. toy paradox chore'-i where th Gos- j pel 13 dispensed with VOL. 6 SO. 32. Gettfng out. off dove Quarters. Gov. C , of Jflorida, tyas as celebrated for his waggery as for his exectttive qualifica tions. Giving a crowd of gaping listeners an account of the strango things he had seen dhring his . peregrin iatioifa throcgh. the t far west, he said: 'Fact, gentlemen, 'thatv y o? may travel for days together without, finding them more than three feet spart; and then the game, such... yasit 'shlm'bers of buffalloes and bears and wild 'cat, but in all the world X never saw such deer. '" ' , What of the deer, Goy.C V asked squint-eyed descendant of -Nisirbi, Vbo, to use his own expression, "I'd 'ratber hunt than eat any time and so he had. 1 'O, the biggest bouncing bucks you. ever saw! why,.iny dear air, the woods tro perfect ly alives with them, charging aboit with great branching horns full four feet apart 'Well, but Gov. C , if the trees are only three feet apart, and the deer's horns four, I want you to tell me how they get through?' - O, well, well, that's teir lookout, Than nothing to do Kith that. Caugut Xappliiff. t A Scotchman and an Irishman were slee"- ping at an ran together. The weather being rather warni, the weoreuman, in nis sleep, put his leg out of bed. A traveler, in passing the room door, saw him in this situation, and having a mind for a frolic, gently fixed a spur on Sawney's heel, who, drawing his leg - .... . i io"to the.bed, "Bo disturbed ms companion tnat he exclaimed, "Arrah, honey, have a care of your great tee, for you -have forgot to cut your Ea'h, I belc lve The Scotchman being sound asleep, still kept on scratching Pat, till his patience be ing spent', he succeeded in rousing Sawney, who not a little surprised at nnaing tne spur on his heel, loudly exclaimed : - Hell dum the dafe chiel of ari 'ostler, he's ta'en my boofs off last night, and left on the spur. Tbe Ii'It liman's Pen. An Irishman called at a bookstore in Jorj dan, the other day, to purchase a steel pen; The clerk handed him one, and after examin ing it a moment, he threw ft down, declaring that 'he didn't wan$ to be cheated in that manner. Tbe clerk then picked it up and asked : "What Is the matter with it ?" It's broke said the man ; "I want a whole one. or Til not pay ye for it." The clerk assurred him that it was wholes aud a good one he was effectually silenced bv the Irishman, who poluted out its defect, f exclaiming,-" Au' will ye b after ealling that a whole one? Don t yeu see that it a SFLIX ; 3T May 17, 1809, fifty years ago, Na poleon crossed the Alps. The march com menced in soperate columns, by five distinct routes over the Simplon, St. Gotbard, the Great and Little St. Bernard, and the Mount Ccnis. After four days of immense difiiculty and hardships, the troops deended iuta the valleys of Piedmont. Driving ihe surprised Austrians before them, they passed the river Sesia and Ticnio, and appeared on the 2d of June at Milan. Oa the 14th they crossod the Po Then gained the battle of Monte -bello, and the 14th June saw BoDaparte victorious at Marengo. Tho first Italian campaign was ended. Five weeks had sufii ced to cross the Alps and conquer Italy, ah;l on the 3d of July the conquerer was again at Paris. - Effectually "Cleaned Oct Col. Dicfe Nash once demanded the band of a cross- grained Alabama planter s daughter. cquire iny business to-day is to ask for your daugnter s iianu. It is, is it? What; voa marry my gal? Look here young man, you leave my preaie- scs lastanter, and sf joa ever set toot again. I'll mate my niggers skin you. herd You marry my daughter! You .' Nash left; uo saw the old gentleman was angry- After getting off to a safe place, he thought he would turn off and take a lait fond look at the hoiue of his last idol; when he espied the old man busyshoveling up his tracks from the yard and throwing them, over the fence. torcihott'jht. There never was a wiser maxim tlAu that of Frauklin i -Nothing ia cheap that you do not want," yet how many persons are perfectly insane on tbe subject of buying thirgs cheap. "Do tell me wi:y you hate bought that cast off door plate V asked a husband of one of these notable bargainers. "Dear me," replied the wife, "you know that it is always my plan to lay up things against a time of need. Who knows but you may die, and I may marry a man of the same name as that ou the door plate V i While Miss Fanny Fits Farren4 the ac tress, was performing her part at the Holiday street Theatre, Baltimore, in tbe play entitled "Loan of a Lover," in which the song ' Who will have me ?" she paused a momant as if waiting for an answer, when a verdant youth exclaimed at the top of his voice, which was tbaracteri2el by a feeling of deep earnestness "I will V to which the lady replied with a bow, "Thank you. sir T XT Elder Munger, speaking of the time when he was a boy, says it was the custom of the school children, as you passed a school house, to make a bow -But iu these latter days as you pass a school house, you mn&t keep your eve peeled, cr you will get a snow ball or a biLk-bat at the side of jour head, or face. ... ' I There being a report that Charles Fox at tho begiaing of his career, was going to be arrested, it was toid to his father Lord Hol land, who TcpV.ed, 'l am fclad of it. for thea he will go to bed at least outf night in time.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers