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Select Poetry-
I :s7lT SHflEAMllTG.
st thinking idly dreaming
Of the friends my heart once knew.
Till my fancy brought their beaming,
Laughing faces back to view,
Olden pleasures, -scene ot childhood,
Pas.4d before in shadowy train;
"TiW I roaiiifcd once more the wild wood.
And I as a boy again.
tick through years and sorrow
Oe'r bright hopes that couid Rdt i&st,
Till my heart did eager borrow
Suuliglit from the buried -past
As these phantoms by me glided,
In the twilight dimly there,
I heard again the "vtfice, that guidod
Mine so oft in mfant prayer.
Q'lictTy turning, to the grasping
Her i ur j hand within my own,
Xight before mo nothing clasping
Fur the vision fair had ifLiwa
Oh my years m-ey va'n'iA,
Disappear iatime'a dark sea;
SiULt of earthly fcrief can bauuh
Thy remembrance dear rem me.
TUC VrOR&IA'GJX.tV.
T-tobicst men I know on earth,
X-e men whose hands are brown with toil;
backed by o ancestral slaves,
H:w down the woods and till the soil,
Aal win thereby- a prouder fame
Than follows k?g or warrior name.
Tae worVingmen, what'er t'neir task,
To carve the aUXio or bear the hod
They war upon t?eir hoiK-st brows
The royal ttamp and seal God!
Ami brighter are the drops of sweat
Thau ilirr.onds in a ci tonet!
G'd bless tire n.b;5 workiagmen,
Wiorear the cities of the plain,
ho dig Ihe miner and build tire bhip?.
And drive the commerce ot the main;
G .!b!css them, for their swarthy hands
n r .
"What ia thunder makes vou look so grum
"Oh, Tve hud to endure a sad trial to my
.lings."
"To your pheelinga ! What on airth was
"Why. ahem ! T had to tie on a nrettv
ifFs bonnet whilo hpr ma was looking nn !"
Sad trial indeed. Tom. Wonder vou
U&'l faint !"
fcvsiLT Ccred Fkecklks. Take a nut
tt prater and rub the iskiu eutirely from
jwir fae and neck ; then, with a hot iron.
the fcurface perfectly smooth. Hub
'til ita oil of vitriol, and cover the tops of
'u. The next skin that crows will be
"e, and perfectly free fron freckles.
A little
girl said: 'Mother is Tom a
Pod cat ?"
Y
es."
Wtll, Le'll go to heaven, won't
EUMtosft bo hnt if VHi'rs no
he r
not a better
...i . 4 r. - j
fnyoa will never eet there." .
"Ob." said the little cirl. -Til hdd on to
-Ooxe Craky. ' Well
youv e
been
CJ' to Wk at Texas: did yoa see any thiD
J.d friend , there?' Ycs; gone dera
gone ueran
Real crazy what
Yen. indeed: he does not know
n hog3 from his neighbor's.'
v A.' the Bums celebration in New
itVv Francis thus related his interview
tonnie Jean Madame,' said the doc
t!l ' 0Ur busband was a great man.' So
Kohrt e'lme' 8a"l,i tho god wife, 'but
oert never said a word to me about it and
6eas seldom at home.'
. i aim
.v. !?rvant asked her mistress whether
fenl, r vw,6e "Cr by going out oa a par
jjj,, - as nut) wu
r'v ua wanted tho h.nn
uoou, as sue was going to nave a
room
of tho urawmg
A friend who recently returned from
!e hAym' m rep,y 10 a qaeston as to where
t5ce , ' r.ePlied' tavebeen after an
te n got the refusal of it-'
sofjl? V10" taU ia cut ff-entirely, will
tuuerf re with his locomotion?
latit ifi, r l wiU not effect bia carriage, '
lUetcphia waggicg.
1
ittlSCCllaUCDUSu
JACK. IS PICOSrERITY.
Jack had dow been in the service of his
master for seven years, and wishing to change
bra -situation, he said to him.
'Master, my time is out. and I should like
to return home again to my mothe; please
pay me now the residue of my wages.'
His master replied to him
You have served me faithfully aJ hon
estly; and as your service has been so, you
shall be rewarded.'
And he cave him a lump of gold, which
was as big as Jack's bead. Jack pulled his
handkerchief cut of, his pocket, and Laving
tied it around the lump. he put it on his shoul
der, and started a hfe ?a!y home And as
he walked along Tstep by step. h3 met a horse
man who mounted on a lively steed, ttas trot
ting by hita merrily and briskly.
Ah, said Jack, so loud that the traveler
coti!dhear him quite distinctly, 'what a splen
did thing it is to ride ou horse back, lou
can sit as comfortably as in a chair there is
no danger of your stut&bling against any
stone, lou save j'ourself and shoes, and you
get on you scarcely know how.'
1 he horseman, bearing this, CFlled out to
him said:
Eh Jack What is the reason ydu are
travelling on foot?'
Why, because 1 am obliged to carry thrs
lump here; it's gold :to be sure, but I can
not carry my head -straight tvith it, and then
too, it weighs somewhat heavily upon my
i ii "j .thi .-li t.. l: I l-
snouiaor. a. u ieii you wuai, repweu iub
horseman, stopping his horse,' we will ex
change; "I will give you my horse, and you
give me your lfenyp "of gold for it.
With all my heart, said Jack, btt i must
tell you beforehand, you will have hard work
to get along with it.
The horseman dismounted, and took Tie
gold, while helping Jack into the saddle, and
after helping him to hold the reigns tight in
his hands, he added:
Now if you want hira to go fast, you have
only to chuck a little with your tongue and
call hopp, hopp.'
.Jack was delighted in his very soul, as he
was thus seated on the stately horse, and ri
ding along as magniSccoiIy and merrily as a
knight. Hut after a little while it occurred
to him, that he ought to advance a little fast
er, and he began to chuck the horse a little
with his tongue, and to call out hopp hopp!
Whereupon the horse at once launched ahead
in a very fast trot, and before Jack became
aware of it, he was thrown and found himself
lying in the ditvh whseh seperated the field
from the highway. His horse would havb
run away from him Into the bargain, had it
not been stopped by a farmer who happened
to be passieg that way, and who was driving
a cow before him. Jack, however, soon
picked himself up, and got upon bra legs
again But he was very much out of humor
and said to tho farmer:
It is no pleasant joke this riding on horse
back, especially if you happen to get a. mare
like this, that trots so hard, and throws you,
so that you might break your neck, I am de
termined never to get on one again. I'd
much rather have a cow like yours, where
one can walk along behind at his leisure, and
is sure to get him milk, butter and cheese
into the bargain every day. I'd give any
thing to have such a cow.'
Well.' said the farmer, 'if that would be
doiDg you so great a favor, I would tro Til
ling to exchange with you, and to give you
my cow for your horse.'
Jack was too dtlightrd to accept the prop
osition at once; and the farmer having vault
ed into the saddle of the horse, galloped
away with it as fast as he could.
Jack now quietly pursued his journy, dri
ving his cow before him, and thought over
the lucky bargain he had made.
If I have nothing but a piece of bread
and I shall certainly never be in want of that
I hope then I cau eat my butter and my
cheese with it as often as I please. If I am
thirsty, I have odIv to milk ibt cow. and
drink some of the milk. What more canst
thou now devise my soul.
And when ho came to an inn, he stopped,
and in his creiit delight at his success, he eat
up all the victuals he had with him, his din
ner and his supper both, and expended the
last farthicg he had in his pocket, on a glass
of ale.
lie then drove on steadily towards the vil
lage where his mother lived. But the heat
became more oppressive the nearer the hour
approached noon, and Jack found himself on
a heath which might extend perhaps a league
further. And he felt so hot that his tongue
nearly cleaved to the roof of his mouth.
'I can easily remedy the difficulty,' said
Jack to himself, 'I will now milk my cow
and get some refreshment from her milk."
Thereupon he tied her to an old withered
tree, and held his leather cap under in place
of a pail. But in spite of all his efforts cot
a drop of milk would make its appearance.
As he was rather awkward in his attempts to
milk her, the animal at length got out of
patience, and gave him such a kick on the
head, with one of her hind feet, that he reel
ed and fell on the ground, and was for some
time entirely unconscious as to where he was.
At that very moment it luckily to hap
pened that a butcher was passing that way,
driving a wheelba'rrow with a pig in it.
'What kind of va scrape are you in hero,'
said he, while he assisted poor Jack in get
ting up again. , -.
Jack told him what had taken place, and
how he got kicked over by the cow. The
butcher handed him his flask and said to him:
'There, take a drink and recover yourself!
Your cow is not likely to give any milk at
all, for she is too "old a creature, and is
scarcely fit for anything butvthe yoke or the
butcher's knife.
'Ay. ay said Jack, whilo passed his
hand through, his hair, 'who wauld over have (
EBEXSBURG, PA., WEDNESDAY, JtLY 6, 1859
thought of that. It's an excellent thing, to
be. cure, if due has such an animal to kill for ,
domestic use, and what a quantity, of meat j
one gets from it I But I am not Very fond of:
cow's meat; it is not juicy enough for ni'e.
Yes, yes, if I had only a young hog like
yours, That would be a different taste, 'to
say nothing of the "sausages.'
I'll tell you, Jaok,' replied the butcher,
'to oblige 'you I will exchange with you, and
give you my hog for your cow.'
'God blew .you for .your friendship I' ex
claimed Jack, and surrendering his cow, he
-got tba butcher to untie the pig from the
wheelbarrow, and took the lino to which it
was fastened into bis hands.
Jack proceeded cn his journey' homeward,
delighted in bis heart, as he thought, over
the success of bis exchanges, for what 'if
-sometimes he did get into a little trouble, did
he not got out of it again at once to his entire
(Satisfaction ! As he was walking en thus
musing to himself, he was joined by a young
fellow who was carrying a splendid white
goose under his arm. They bid each other
good morning, and then Jack began to tell
him what good luck he had mt with, and
how fortunate he always was in his bargains.
The young fellow to!d him that he was carry
ing his goose to a house where they were
getting up a christening dinner.
'Just lift it once he contiuueJ, 'and feel
how heavy it is. But this i? cot surprising
when I tell vou that &ha has been crammed
these eight weeks Tho man who gets
"plate of a roast like this will Lave to use his
napkin more than once at it if he wants to
keep his chin clean.'
'It is so said Jack, as he was balancing
the goose ia his Land'; 'she is heavy enough,
but then my pig is no sow either.
Meanwhile the young fellow began to look
about him on every side as if he were suspi
-cious. and now and then would shake his
head.
'See here, Jack said he after a littl
while, 'I am afraid there is something wrong
about your pig. The burgomaster of the vil
lage through which I have just passed has
had one stolen from his stye quite recently,
and 1 m inclined to tains tnis is the very
one. It is bo, and vou are caught with it,
vou will be in a bad scrape. They'll have
you shut up ia the dark lantern, to say the
least of it.
i'eor dacx was irigutenea at tne very
Uiougnt or such a thing.
'Mercy said he, 'then you must help me
out of danger. Yon are better acquainted in
these parts loan 1 am 1 wish you would
take my pig and give me your goose for it
... 'I shall iucr some risk with it. nndouht".
edly said the young man, but then I do not
wish to be the cause of your getting into
trouble, and so I will not refuse.
Whereupon he took the rope into his hand
and drove the pig away on a by-path that
branched off from the main road, as fast as
he could go; but Jack, who now felt entirely
free from caro or apprehension, pursued his
journey homeward with his goose under his
arm.
This bargain properly considered, said he
to himself, will prove even an advantage to
me. For in the first place. I shall get out
of it an excellent roast for dinner, and when
the quantity of fat which will ooza out of it
in roasting, and which I can spread on my
bread instead of butter for three months at
and lastly the magnificent . white feathers,
with which I'll get pillows stuffed, and then
I'll warrant you I'll fall asleep on it without
being rocked or cradled. Wha: a joy this
will be to my mother ! .
lie had just passed through the last village
on the road, when he met a scissors grinder
with his cart, who accompanied the rattling
music of his wheel with tho song : . w
Im grinding my scissors before and behind,
And set up my sail to every wind.
Jack stopped a moment to lake a look at
him, and by and by ha spoke to him and
said : " '
'You must be doing a successful business,
since you are so merry at your grinding
'I am, indeed replied the scissors-grinderj
my trade has a golden bottom to it, aud a
good workman at it is a man that never puts
his hands into his pocket without rinding
money in it. But pray tell me where did you
buv that splendid goose of yours i
I did not buy it anywhere ; I got it in ex
change for my pigJ
'And the pig V
Why that I got for my cow.'
And the cow ?'
That I got for my horse ,
'And the horse ?'
'For that I gave a lump of gold as big as
my head.
'And the gold V
V by, that was tuo residue ot my wages
for seven years' service
You have always got along very well,
see added the grinder, 'now, if you ever get
so far as when the money jingles in your
pocket whenever -you put your hand in it,
your fortune is a made one.'
'And how shall I set to work about that ?
- Ynu must become a -grinder like myself,
and for that purpose you in fact want noth
ing but a grindstone, the rest will come as a
matter of course. - 1 have one here with me,
which is already somewhat worn, but I will
charge nothing more for it than your goose
Will you agree to that?'
How can you ask me such a question?'
answered Jack, if 1 have money as often as
I put my hand into my pocket, am I not then
provided for life t
And thus savinc bo reached him bia gooso
'Well said the grinder, as be picked up
a heavy field-stoao which happened to be Iy
ing bv his side, 'there I will make you i
present of an excellent lap 6tone which may
bo useful to you. You can hammer your old
nails on it. Take it and preserve it careful
lv ": . , ".
Jack went along with a laerry heart, his
very "eyes sparkling with joy, as he said to
himself :
I must have been born with a silver spoon
in my mouth, for all my wishes and desires
are gratified as if I were a Sunday child.'
But as be had been on his leg since day
break, he began to be quite weary now, and
then he began to be tormented by hunger,
too, for he had consumed all his provisions st
once, in cis aeitgnt over tne grand bargaiu
he had made when he traded away his cow.
It was only with great difficulty that be co'd
get on any farther now, and he was obhed
to stop evsry moment, and then the stones on
his shouloers, tco, felt abominably heavy, so
that he l oula not help thinking what a fine
thing R.sould be if he were not obliged to
carry tbctn aiy further.
lie thus moved slowly onward like a snail.
until he reached a Spring by which he wanted
to benu over to get a drink. But in order
that he might not injure the stones in setting
them down, he laid them down by his Fids,
close to the edge of the well.
Thereupon he turned around, and wanted
to bend over to get a drink, when he inadver
tantly hit his elbow against the stones, so
that both of them fell -plump into the water.
Jack jumped up for joy, and then fell on his
knees in gratitude to God, with tears in his
eyes, for having shown this great mercy, and
delivered him from his burden in so miracu
lous a manner, and said that this had been
the only thing, he needed to complete his
happiness. There is not another man under
the sun as happy as I am now he exclaimed,
and with a merry heart, and exempt from
every burden, he ran forward,- until he was
at home with his dear mother.
A Tale rr'UsKEO.oiiTED Love. The edi
tor of the Eureka "Union" relates as follows
how he once fell in love and 'got the mitten:'
"We were never, kind readers, 'desperate
in love' but once, and that was with a red
no, auburn hiired girl with a freckled com
plexion, and who had bnt few pretensions to
beauty ; but then she had such really beauti
ful eyes, deep liquid Orb's, through which her
soul in moments - of tenderness looked out
with a passionate fervor, and in joyous mirth
flashed and sparkled with the light of a thou
sand dew drops diamonds we were going to
say but we never saw a thousaud diamonds.
Her name was Laura which when breathed
softly by a very soft lover, is a sweet name
and her clear ringing laugh fell all around
you like a shower of silver bells. Moreover,
she wore a dark wine colored dress, trimmed
with lilac colored velvet and dark frioge,
with a neat white collar of fine lace, which is
the prettiest of dresses, and has the effect to
i-o a -r-rry .Uin - gtri too It afecoi-atet j Cttir-
mmg. ona never pertoraieu uer ears to nacg
tfrcreby a p?ndulum of brass and glass ; and
Ihe only ornament on the little white band,
which needed none, was a plain gold ring,
sacred to the memory of a maiden promise.
Well, one evening, it was summer time we
sat alone in the porch by the cottage door
holding that little white hand in a .gentle
ressure. one arm had stolen around her
waist, and a silent song of joy, "like the mu.
sic of the night," was in our soul. Our lips
met in a sweet, delicious kiss, and bending,
softly to her ear we whispered a tale of pas
sionate devotion we proposed. . In a mo
ment she tore her band from ours, and with
look of ineffable scorn, Bhe said in a voice
trembling with suppressed rage, "Vhat,
marry an editor I yoii git outT' We slid.
Mosev vs. IIusbands. A correspondent
of a Western paper relates this incident :
Just as lb& tram was about starting tor
GreehfieTd,'lfriday"morning, on the "Vermont
and Massachusetts Railroad, a sprightly tittle
woman with a child, took a seat in tho car
near where I was sitting. The cars were be
ginning to move and the little woman looked
anxisously through the end window of the
rear car for her missing husband, who was in
the depot attending to the purchase of tick
ets. &c.
Tho speid of' the car increased and the
r . . rr-i . 1 1 1
woman lootcca more anxious, ine nusoauu
now appears and commences to run. He
gains on the Cars at first, but they are too
- , . . . . -
far ahead of him, and soon leave nim nenina,
although he did run well for a season, It is
now the wife s turn to try wuat sue can uo.
In aony she implores the conducter that her
"husband is left, but ho can t help that. 1
am starting on a journey and can't get along
without my husoand
"Then let him attend to his business next
time." was the cold answer.
"But," says the woman, "I have no money
with me."
' The brakes were applied, and tho cars
brought to. a stand still, and the panting
husband erters the cars to the delight of all
thr nassengers. esneciallv of his wife.
Moral money will stop traits of cars much
quicker than husbands.
Italy s Glories. Ihe hrst modern epic
poet, says a French writer, is an Italian,
Dante ; the first lyric poet, Petrach ; the first
poet of chivalry, Tasso ; the first romanticist
poet, Ariosto ; the nrst modern late writer,
Boccacio; the first sculptor, Michael Acgelo;
the first vigorous political writer, and the
first historian of Modern Italy, Machiavelli ;
the first philosophical historian, Vico ; the
discoverer of tho New World, Christopher
Columbus ; the first demonstrator of the laws
of the celestial sphese, Galileo ; were all
Italians.
Morphef European Victories. The Chess
Monthly givci; a table showing Mr Motphey's
scores in Europe. Out of 149 even games
he won 117. lost 19, and 13 were drawn.
Of 33 blindfold games ho won 29, lost 1,
and 12 were drawn. Of 35 consultation
games he on 17, lost 2, aud 16 were drawn.
Giving the pawn and move he won 18 games
lost 2, and 5 were draw u, GWing pawn
aad two moves he won 14 games, lost 2, and
1 was drawn. -
The Conflagration or Old itoine.
Crowded, as the mass of citizens were, in
the close wooden dwelling chambers, ' acci
dents were constantly occurring which in
volved whole streets and quarters 'of the city
in wide-spreading conflagrations, and the
efforts of the night watch to stem those out
"bursts of fire, with few of the appliances,
and little, perhaps, even of the discipline of
our modern police, were but imperfectly 'ef
fectual. But the greatest of all the fires
which desolated Rome was that which broke
out on the 29th of July, in the year 817, the
tenth Nero, which began at the eastern end
of the circus, abutting cn the Palatine.Vhctice
they forked in two directions, following the
draught of - the valleys. At neither point
were they encountered by the nrisom-y of
walls cr temples, 'till 'they had gained "iftch
head that the mere intensity of the heat
crumbled brick and stone like paper. The
Circus itself was filled "from end to end with
wooden galleries, along which the fire cour
sed with, -aspeed which defied all check and
pursuit. The flames shot up to the heights
adjacent, and swept the basements of many
noble structures on the Palatine and Aven
tine Again they plunged into the lowest
levels of the city, the dens, habitations and
narrow winding streets of the Velabrum and
Forum Boarium, till stopped by the rivers
and the walls. At the same time another
torrent rushed towards thts Velia and the Es
quiline. and sucked up all the dwefangs witb
in its reach, till it was nally arrested by the
cliffs beneath the gaidens of Majcenas. Amid
the horror and confusion of the scene, the
smoke, the blaze, the din, and 'the scorching
heat, with half the population, bond and free.
cast loose md houseless into the streets, ruf
fians were seen to thrust blazing branda into
the "buildings, who affirmed, wloa seized by
the indignant sufferers that they were acting
with orders ; and the crimp, which was pro
bably the desperate recourse of slaves and
robbers , was imprated by 'fierce suspicion's to
the Governm ent.
Melancholy Tragedy in the Pix Woods.
A correspondent of the Camden (Ala.)
Republic relates the following melancholy
acd shocking story :
I learned from a source perfectly reliable,
"on Saturdav last. while oa a visit to the
south-west oi the county ot YV llcox, tnat Jir.
Davis, a very poor man, who resided with
his wife and" four children ia a sparsely set
tled piney woods neighborhood in this coun
tv. was confined to his bed by a disease
threatening his life, when his. two eldest
children, (sons,") who assisted him in the cul
tivatioa of his farm, after completing their
tasks on Monday last, went in search of an
gelica, commonly called earl-root Procu
ring a large quantity, ss they supposed, of
the root sought they ate freely of it, and
took with them some for the children who
remained at home. They also partook of it
The root? proved to be deadly hemlock. In
a few hours the two first named were seized
with convulsions and died. The remaining
two. who had not eaten so much of the poi
son. were also seized with convulsions, aud
became blind and deaf. To add to the hor
ror of the scene, tbe mother was taken in
labor, and gave birth to a fifth child. In
this situation the family remained until the
following Wednesday, no one of the family
being able to leave the house, and no neigh
bor crlling. On Wednesday, a passing neigh-
called, and found the dead children still in
their clothes in which they died, aud lu a
state of decompostion. Their condition was
soon made known to all in reach The dead
were buried, and tho living have since been
properly cared for-
A Quaker's Onxirx of a Cnuucn Okgajt.
The following is vouched for as a fact by
Harper's Magazine :
The Society of Friends, as is well known,
are among the roost upright and worthy of
the Christian sects. Their mode of public
worship is very plain and simple. Divested
of all forms and ceremocies, they profos to
serve God in spirit aud in truth ; sometimes
in silence, at other times by exhortation or
preaching by 6ome one who feels impelled to
address them.
Thomas Coles more fainilhrly known,
from his great amiability and good nature, as
Tommy Coles was a consistent member of
this society. At the delightful village of
Glen Cove, Long Island, where he resided,
the Episcopal congregation had- just erected
in their church a very sweet-toned organ,
which was the admiration not only of the
members, but to many others who were at
tracted to tbe service by the eloquence of the
Rev. Mr. Mal'.aby, tho rector. On some
particular occasion our venerable friend,
Tommy Coles, took a seat among the congre
gation, and his opinion of the organ was
gathered from the following conversation a
few days afterward :
"Friend Mallaby, I am pleased that thee
has got such a fine organ iu thy church."
"But." said the clergyman, "I thought
you were opposed to havirg an organ in the
church "
"So I am," replied Tommy, "but then if
thee will worship the Lord by Machinery, I
would like thee to have a first-rate instru
ment." tGUMr. Fudge, ia describing an interview
with bis Mary Ann says : She put one arm
around my neck, and t'other one whar the
circling goes round a hoss, tuk the iaturn on
me with her left foot, and give mo a kUs.-
My toes felt like as if mianies were nibbling
at uni a cold streak ruu up aid down my
back like a lizzard with a turkey hen after
him in settin limo, and my stumiuick was
hot and onsaiisfied like.
Bjs. 'What church you' attend Mrs'
Partington?'. ' ' '
Cb. toy paradox chore'-i where th Gos-
j pel 13 dispensed with
VOL. 6 SO. 32.
Gettfng out. off dove Quarters.
Gov. C , of Jflorida, tyas as celebrated
for his waggery as for his exectttive qualifica
tions. Giving a crowd of gaping listeners an
account of the strango things he had seen
dhring his . peregrin iatioifa throcgh. the t far
west, he said: 'Fact, gentlemen, 'thatv y o?
may travel for days together without, finding
them more than three feet spart; and then
the game, such... yasit 'shlm'bers of buffalloes
and bears and wild 'cat, but in all the world
X never saw such deer. '" ' ,
What of the deer, Goy.C V asked
squint-eyed descendant of -Nisirbi, Vbo, to
use his own expression, "I'd 'ratber hunt than
eat any time and so he had. 1
'O, the biggest bouncing bucks you. ever
saw! why,.iny dear air, the woods tro perfect
ly alives with them, charging aboit with great
branching horns full four feet apart
'Well, but Gov. C , if the trees are
only three feet apart, and the deer's horns
four, I want you to tell me how they get
through?' -
O, well, well, that's teir lookout, Than
nothing to do Kith that.
Caugut Xappliiff. t
A Scotchman and an Irishman were slee"-
ping at an ran together. The weather being
rather warni, the weoreuman, in nis sleep,
put his leg out of bed. A traveler, in passing
the room door, saw him in this situation, and
having a mind for a frolic, gently fixed a
spur on Sawney's heel, who, drawing his leg
- .... . i
io"to the.bed, "Bo disturbed ms companion tnat
he exclaimed,
"Arrah, honey, have a care of your great
tee, for you -have forgot to cut your Ea'h, I
belc lve
The Scotchman being sound asleep, still
kept on scratching Pat, till his patience be
ing spent', he succeeded in rousing Sawney,
who not a little surprised at nnaing tne spur
on his heel, loudly exclaimed :
- Hell dum the dafe chiel of ari 'ostler, he's
ta'en my boofs off last night, and left on the
spur.
Tbe Ii'It liman's Pen.
An Irishman called at a bookstore in Jorj
dan, the other day, to purchase a steel pen;
The clerk handed him one, and after examin
ing it a moment, he threw ft down, declaring
that 'he didn't wan$ to be cheated in that
manner. Tbe clerk then picked it up and
asked :
"What Is the matter with it ?"
It's broke said the man ; "I want a
whole one. or Til not pay ye for it."
The clerk assurred him that it was wholes
aud a good one he was effectually silenced
bv the Irishman, who poluted out its defect,
f exclaiming,-" Au' will ye b after ealling
that a whole one? Don t yeu see that it a
SFLIX ;
3T May 17, 1809, fifty years ago, Na
poleon crossed the Alps. The march com
menced in soperate columns, by five distinct
routes over the Simplon, St. Gotbard, the
Great and Little St. Bernard, and the Mount
Ccnis. After four days of immense difiiculty
and hardships, the troops deended iuta the
valleys of Piedmont. Driving ihe surprised
Austrians before them, they passed the river
Sesia and Ticnio, and appeared on the 2d of
June at Milan. Oa the 14th they crossod
the Po Then gained the battle of Monte -bello,
and the 14th June saw BoDaparte
victorious at Marengo. Tho first Italian
campaign was ended. Five weeks had sufii
ced to cross the Alps and conquer Italy, ah;l
on the 3d of July the conquerer was again
at Paris. -
Effectually "Cleaned Oct Col. Dicfe
Nash once demanded the band of a cross-
grained Alabama planter s daughter.
cquire iny
business
to-day is to ask for
your daugnter s iianu.
It is, is it? What; voa marry my gal?
Look here young man, you leave my preaie-
scs lastanter, and sf joa ever set toot
again. I'll mate my niggers skin you.
herd
You
marry my daughter! You .'
Nash left; uo saw the old gentleman was
angry- After getting off to a safe place, he
thought he would turn off and take a lait
fond look at the hoiue of his last idol;
when he espied the old man busyshoveling up
his tracks from the yard and throwing them,
over the fence.
torcihott'jht. There never was a wiser
maxim tlAu that of Frauklin i -Nothing ia
cheap that you do not want," yet how many
persons are perfectly insane on tbe subject of
buying thirgs cheap.
"Do tell me wi:y you hate bought that
cast off door plate V asked a husband of one
of these notable bargainers. "Dear me,"
replied the wife, "you know that it is always
my plan to lay up things against a time of
need. Who knows but you may die, and I
may marry a man of the same name as that
ou the door plate V
i
While Miss Fanny Fits Farren4 the ac
tress, was performing her part at the Holiday
street Theatre, Baltimore, in tbe play entitled
"Loan of a Lover," in which the song ' Who
will have me ?" she paused a momant as if
waiting for an answer, when a verdant youth
exclaimed at the top of his voice, which was
tbaracteri2el by a feeling of deep earnestness
"I will V to which the lady replied with a
bow, "Thank you. sir T
XT Elder Munger, speaking of the time
when he was a boy, says it was the custom of
the school children, as you passed a school
house, to make a bow -But iu these latter
days as you pass a school house, you mn&t
keep your eve peeled, cr you will get a snow
ball or a biLk-bat at the side of jour head,
or face. ...
' I There being a report that Charles Fox
at tho begiaing of his career, was going to be
arrested, it was toid to his father Lord Hol
land, who TcpV.ed, 'l am fclad of it. for thea
he will go to bed at least outf night in time.