p 7 " Am v If THE BLESSIXG3 OF GOVERNMENT, LIKE THE DEWS OP HEAVEN, SHOULD BE EISTE13UTjy AiLKE UPON TEE HIGH AND THE LOW, THE BICH AND THE POOB. SEW SERIES. EBENSBUBG," Pi., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23, 1859. VOL. 6--X0. 18. fl 4;-rEMOCRAT & SENTINEL IS PUB j lished every Wednesday Morning at ns D'llae and Fifty Cents per annum, niribl ID. an Vance; w-xc juula asu otv bmi tvHCBN-wif not paid within six months, and Two Dollars u not paid un.tn tao termination r the vear subscription will bo taken for a shorter eriod than six months, and no subscriber will be liberty t discontinue his paper until all ar reingea art" pai J, except at the option ot the i Mr ior six rnontns wui te varsea ohe dollar, unless the money is paid idverilsfnc, Ities. One insert'n. Two do. Tlirc-e do 5 41 00 licrcJre, 12 lines? jta'inres, 2i lines equr.v, fo'3 lines $ 50 1 00 I SO S months. n so 1 00 2 On 2 CD 6 do. $3 00 1 50 7 00 y oo 12 00 nr i 12 do i 5 00 j 9 00 i 2 lines 50 4 00 00 10 00 12 0) j 14 00 ?.e .... .'-9 OVU7"." ! 20 00 S3 00 15 00 22 00 "a- A !v.rt'.--':T.f:,.t.- must be iriftr ed with tLe i.ur.';-fr of ir..-.:rti-:is desired, or they will be r. !. i vk-.!:1 i'orlid, and charged accordingly. Select poctrn. Bt V. HENET. My l.irk is on hfo'd troubled sea, I cara ::ot where it goes, 's -.t matter lifo's w ild stoirns to me? JYLat matter where its clse? TLf b'jst of earth, iti hopes and j"vs. Are drearay, fading things; w::b, W9 sigh, we gr.p somo praise, I: i;cs cn magic wings. i: U that I hate tht world, Or it hath bated me; IlUnot that no eye hath emiled, io '.iht my weary way; lis not because what'er I loved. That death 1ms loved it too; io, 'tiS not that makes me sad, .ul circles whero I go. I'vq r;-.:idly luvfe'l, yet all in vain; Stiil ia.v".!y. still vnhlest, J love, p.nd nur&e the roi!. vala That bur::a v.ithiu my brt-at. my heart wait weep, it will iK t brt aL My must wrtlio .ir.-i 1-vr ind u-;r hji:' know tiiftirv.vsri cch?, "Cy or feign, or ter. L''..,v J I came, caiovsj I j.; What there lft for m-- v". :. litttrn U yet to ki.w, V: c . g- r.e for aye fr.m thoe? W !.-. J 'wiiv j-.vn lhv'.s caih riyti, .. :. : 1 -t:i is L.au'.n. ".t. I !.: v.;.h 1M l.vci ti.ee U?. 1 i IV. i u-i-d me rr iUisccllancous. "O l JUL II FlII TO riSl'." i ri ii WILLIAM HEN RT FECK. I 4'; a Tr.irry that young man, never dare ; f ,:'.:k t; i:.e uain Marry him ! If cvt i j as Mif ak toiiiiH, look at him, or ! -a ..r h' 'I- J X..S --li..., 8t C ii't you Fpeak to me V criad i ft v . V. y to Li3 loving aaugiiier reahfsst table, Lt the same . 1 . I . clutlrg the tabby, thai Jaj upon the 'u2, v.I'..'i a tr-a? .-""'.io kick'tbat fle- 1 that demure &n;.aiai's body d ideas l -ire tever admitted thatl wish to tanr - remarked the blue-eytd Eunice, e-i course not I I never knew a woman U.; aivtbir.2. except that she was richt j'-i pretty, and everybody ebe wrong and said Mr. JJyway, hammering at an , &s if he bel l a cocoa-nut. 'You are a , Mi.-n Eurdce, and cue of these days you U.iovf if. Who am I ? Wby I am Jonas of Tehoupitouhis street a man said He worth two hundred thousand dollars T i iiurr1! ! .-.. .-i il.i-fl T u irifii ? Tint-. 'J , hem ! I won't swear to it I will arrj a young wife immediately, if you let -' tharp-eyed, broad-headed, jack-a napes so much as 'good morning to you, from - -ij.tow, henceforth and forever Amen ! u- P u;c. Jacob !' v ''!'.GlG woaU yoa marry, father?' asked i5 Luaiee, in a tone as mellow as a flute. 'H'-a? Vhy, anybody,' cried Jonas wrathfiilly crushing a biscuit to 't ct me see y anybody vould if they hnev7 him as well as I do," -e, passing the sugar-bowl to him as ''to look less sourlv over his coffee-cup, Wspkasa-t.: that's filial ! I shall cer J has my temrer. Mv temncr is a race- u'-jei ih,log I bite when I am angry,' v. . uQurisning nia silver rori, ana t0 look verv determined. futufcr. vriTi TiTf rr) f urTiin rn-' r.r.' , .lT?, Lut then vou crowl amainclv at all t l . , -. . . " jtaV. e ao iauy OI your ac- ''jc would have" you; therefore, I am t;,j.rc ' :f Ca tre Then I'll marry some lady not roared Jonas, Til gee, you'll eee, ev -,;J il see. --ww A A kj kj tJ AAA J 4-AA I'l IUV ,1 T ... ... 'J3rev..: are you going woo t on onar Q ecP o company '? exclaim- ki to t76 t0 fon1 of pepper, father ; bc- ,rPMH .t . worn P"60- but very 1 bare other fish to fry." retor- 'f.00(1 news for the blind,' blindly ''it. yli,s.KQice, aa the rose and swept Siil lV T00 leavinn her father breakfast alonn.' ted Bliss Eunice, as she disappeared, hum- iuiuR an operatic air. 'Too much pepper ! fish to fry !' growled Jonas, cutting savagely at bis mutton-chop ; you ll see pepper 1 l-'ll pepper that black eyed, bve-sick. moneyiessFIoatfast, if bo ever iQtrude3 bis smirking visage into this house again. Hah! he'll bo the fish that I shall fry fry him to a crisp." She's just liko her mother ' said he pausing to look at the portrait of his deceased wife, which hung over the mantelpiece. Mrs. Mrwavhad lff. .Tnnns. n. widower ?nrrm eighteen years before the scene just describe,!, and'T7facn !Vd"uce was about two years old. WhU-3 sha lived, Jcc32?as hf no mccr.f the head of tho fauiilv; cn the contrary, he misht aptly have bcn called tha tail-cncl, for Mm My way was one of those firm and self-willed dames, by eo means common csw-a-days, who will have their way or die for it. Jonas was naturally as good nature J auu pliant as his Letter ha.r was milexible, aid he found it conduced much move to his comfort to say nothliig and shako his ears, than to rc.'art ana have them bosed. As his only child grew up to womanhood sho had impercepti bly swayed her fond tether as psicntiy as bad her mother ; but with iuSoitely more s'.reot ness. Jcr;,-.s used to say his wifo steeped him in vinegar, while his daughtor coated him with honey. He had yitlded to c-rery whim and wish of tho latter for so many years thai ho found it rather tough now to thwart her. But he had resolved to have his own way for enco in his life, cot only because he j could not bear the idea that Floatfast should carry daughter, but because ho had j lately discovered that a certain spinster, Miss j Gauzy; was Vciy loving towards him, and h? imagined she had the sweetest temper m the Tvoman-world. Xow, Miss Gauzy detested Mr. Bob Floatfast. principally because- that young gentleman had insinuated that the red of her cheeks was artistically laid on, and the vrLiisness of her cuticle of Chinese manufac ture She emphatically declared to Mr. Jona:- that she would give all she had iu the world if that fellow Flotfast was chased out of New Orleans; in fact banished to some Pt. Helena She "said, besides, that whoever liked Floatfast hated her, and vice versa. Therefore, Jonas, to show his devotion, de tected him. Tbe spinster, whose age was uncertain, let as say forty-five, was reported to bo very wealthy, ihcuh where that wealth wts. no cue could tell. Sho had, of late, ma le eyes and mouths at Jonas, whose heart was very susceptible, urji',1 that worthy en- t'-vn!ri bad falLu profjruiy ia love with her j and Lai gosc fhr as to dT r her Lis h?r:d iShe had graciously accepted it upon the cou ' ditlon that he ?hoi.U refuse 1 loatfatt as a ! fcon-in-I.iT. ai,d c'.'k,T her to ui.-cse of the i baud cf Euric ; ir.torjding to f;ive it to her ntphcHr Jofiu Je:k.; ia fact she had stipu j lated that bc'.h Widdigs jhouli con:e cfT on the fame d i. I here YU, in ti.e eves cf limce, nol it; ; m-.re c '-uumvribio iu to wid wor;u tiiau ! that fellow J"!m Jerr ., and nothin;? so ma - L'C'.-ctit as Eohcrt Floaifatt ; and the latter ! lreiitli :;:r.?! va n.u.-h ef ihe f-arr.e ordnioc. Mr. a it atfjtt was a very agreeable young f ahoi;t twcrifv-Sve years, and not as ' man. o !i as Cfci-Uo. Ir. Jerks was a very d'.o- ; a;:rotah!e youns n:aG, cf the same ape. and i rer'ited Liir to h!j aunt's refuted wealth. I A Tl.ti rich s..ck the ilc-h, and. therefore. Jonas Al.' AW I 1 . v UiJVA( 4.AVftV4 f My way sought Miss Gauzy. He had no yet ir.fjnrcd Eunice of his matrimonial had not as in- truiions, l ut the time Lad come waea tee ice jh.uid be broken. Altfir unisfiinc Lis orcaktast, ho sauntcrea iito the pailor to find bis daughter He found htr Elated at the piano. I hats the gridiron, I suppose, said he, as he entered, 'and 1 suppose that sheet of music is the fbh you are trying : it puts me in mind of a sea of tadpoles. Sit down, father; I see that you have smetbing very important upon your mind,' said Euuico, revolving her chair. 'Yes, I always had an esnressive counte nance Your mother said stie married me more for that than anything else,' said Jonas. 'Most ladies marry for Eomething of" that kind,' remarked Eunice, tbiuhing of the handsome and .very expressive face of 11. F., Esq , attorney at law, No. 12 Exchange 'I am very glad we are upon the subject rail Jouas, twirling his thumbs uneasily. 'In fact, I yes I mean that is ' 'You seem agitated, father.' said Eunice. 'Hut I am not; I am icy cool,' said Jonas wiping his forehead nervously. 'I mean, that I intend to marry somebody shortly.' Really !' 'Most unequivocally and emphatically. I have offered my hand and have been accepted conditionally.' said Jonas, with a grimace, for he abominated John Jerks, And who is the victim ?' Victim ! there is no victim, unless it be you. Miss Gauzy is tbe lady.' 'Father, you are crazy !' 'I know it ; I have been aware of it for some time, and have determined to put on a matrimonial straigbt-jaoket. Miss Gauzy is the jacket.' 'She ' id undoubtedly a yellow-jacket, and has btung you eoreiy,' eaid Eunice ; 'but let us hear the coaditinus upon which tho lady accepts you ' " That's the tough part,' said Jonas 'Now, I have been a most excellent and indulgent father to you, ' You know it. You have al ways had your oy7n way I let'you have it. In fchort, I wh;b yo.a to do as I wish you. ' for once. Tho conditions are such as must proye very zpTczzblo t,o you. 'First, 'yoi mutt marry.' ' 'So far I havo Jio objection,' baid Eunice, whom Jonas thought remarkably cool. 'I am glad to bear it. Well, what thiuk you of John Jerks V eaid Jonas, flapping his legs. I think him a fool, and that is the failing of all bb family, snarled Miss Eunice. 'Sorry to hear that ; for unless you marry Mr. John Jerks lean never marry Miss Gauzy and that thought is teriific,' So is she, and her gojrgle-eyed nephew is horrific, - if marked Mhs Eunice, tartly. Very well, very well ; but ycu must mar ry him.' That i? wholly and forever impossible.' 'Eh? Impossible is a word that Napoleon expunged from his dictionary. I have been taught to resemble him much, more especially in my in my my iuode of expression rni and laconic, liui whv do vou tiiint that it H imrapossihle?' 'liecuuse I; father, tlajl never commit mit, Yh; it cried Jonas, fprisgicg up, 'biga- my ' 'That means more than one husband, dos tu't it'f And as I marr:ed lat night lo Mr. Fioatfaat, I cannot, unfortunately, marry Mr. John Jerks said Eunice, blushing. ' 'This ii deli-htfal cried Mr Myway, rapidly pacing the floor. So you have mar ried that fool-head. I detest you, I scorn ycu; I east you off forever!' 'And I will gll:y take charge of so pre cious a jjwe!,' said a doep and manly voice, as a tall and noble-looking young man stop ped from the heavy curtains of an alcove, and placed Lis arms around the slender waist of Eunice, who reciprocated the caress. IIo, oh! I see that is tho Call you w?ro frying!' cried Jonas, grinning wUh rage. 'A speeles of shark, commonly mailed attorney! Out of my Louse, and fry the sh elsewhere. I disown you. I sh?.!I marry Miss Gauzy and adopt her nephw.' No you wont. I will bet ycu a new hat that you never will urry that portrait paint er,' said Floatfast, boning. 'Done Mr. Shark. I will marry her this very diy, and Mr. John Jerks shall occupy that uugi -ateful girl's apartment ro-ired Jo nai, co-founded by the cojlnein of h;s son-:u law, and bv the smile that played upon L'is da ught.-r s rosy l:?s T will bet the prije of my vrea-iin suit at Mr. Julia Jcih's never enters tnis Louse. said Floatfast, tauntinl, 'for I had him ar- res-ca thii? luornirig UjOU thc charge of f;r- crerv, and fee! couule t ho will sojourn for the next ten year?, at least in Ea'.oa Kou?e.' Fir tr! I v.oit Ithcvc it. Yi u trimncd u'j the ehar'e to .serve your own ra.s- car ; .nJ:?. l il Lau t. cri?a Myv, r.Z around f.r L hat. ! hot :1 ! you a we .i-n c.tt,' .at yea do no: :id 1 ' cmiiir 'an.lly. Mid r.-e s r:i i ce Sber: ki 1 I.)Vtlv ?y i. ''Ihis is ufihcan? Mr. I .'.r.i not ik-.'us- t '.Teir. gir. Luc m u;nale.' shot.iclJ. w m? ti say that .1 roam to r-j. !ii afur t!ie nIiing hat. 'Out of h re.' exatim-jd, r.s he f unl it i.t last iu the dining room, ha'f full of the tabby's pur ring prog: ny, aril tc-tttrin a thowcr of kit tens u-oo tr.c i wr: if I flu 1 eiti.er i'i vou here u n:y return, I will Lave a poli.ee- man r.i'cr y u. 'I'll b t the bridal trotisxivi: that yru will not; and that ye will kiss my wifi ud hu i me c:ied the inexorable Fh.atfast, as Jones ; rushed frntn tho house and hrstencd to the I liccorder'rf oiTioc He reaehed-that pleasant ' looainsr enatiiLer, was dirccteu to the propcr ouieial, aiid demanded the light to give bail fjr Mr. John Jerh'3. 'John Jerls? John JcrksV said clerk, fumbling amonr his papers. 'That's the man. How much? the ailibie Name the sum! I will go bail cried Jonas wildly 'Charge, frgerv. Bail required, 15, 000.' 'Eh'r' stamered Jonas, growing oool. '15,000. Forged note for S500 made way with 7000 found 1500 seed ip ia his stockiag-lefr,' said Mr. Clerk affably. 'The deuce!' ciicd Jonas 'Whose name did he forge that is, is he accused of for- j gin"?' 'No doubt of it returned Mr. Clerk He ha3 owed up confessed said he gambled away the missing S7000. Forged the name of the name of let me see here it is, Jo nas Myway 'Me? my Lame? I am Jonas My way,' cheated Jonas, growing very white; 'and spent 7 GOO. My friend confer upon me a Treat favor, I wish to choke that John Jerks I am sure that I can take 7,000 worth of strangulation out of that fellow. Give mo the 1500 at least, for I am Jonas My way.' 'Certain forms are necessary first.' 'They are?. Devil3 aSoat! 1 have schools of fish to fry cried Jonas, harrying to his lawyer. Within a few hours he had regain ed the 1500, but the 7000 were 'gome glimmering.' Jonas then hurried to the residence of Miss Gauzy; she resided on Camp street, and il luminated a boarding-house with her sub lime patronage. Jonas awaited her in the parlor, and after some, delay, was infoimed that Miss Gauzy was so seriously iadirposed that she could have the extreme felicity of seeing him only iu her room With a heart palpitating with late, hope; anger and suspi cion Jonas asoended 'to the virgins apart ment. ' She was cursing ia fa-t, all of those maiden ladies of her class are excessively ecu ning and excel iu making man-traps, the was lying cpon a sofa, a purfumed kerchief in her band, aud tears in her eye she had but one, the other was glass; j-ct Miss Gau zy was, when in full toilet, with all. her har ness 60, a very handsome woman, barring an expression of duplicity '-hat clouded " overy f c stturc ?- t Oh, Mr. Myway! ia it not dreadful?' she cried, burryrogter glass c-e iu tho "-scented cambric, and sharply watching him with tLe other. Awful! awful! especially the 7000 said Jonas, groaning. 'He can never marry your hrely Eunice, nowF TLioknot am sure of it. She'a married that follow Floatfast; sharp fellow, that.' I ilotest him; and I adore thee, Jonas!' cried Araminta Gauzy, who began to feel tho sand slipping from under her feet. 'Sit near me (arliBg, I beseech thee.' softness of the tone, the melody of the voiet; the lacgoar of the eye visable, the emaloot, the delicate hand and well round ed a:i,: had their effect upon Jonas. He moyt.5 his chair very near the mruden; he kissvii her, and as he did so, the door opened and VifVi highly amused bcarding-houie la- clcKvviispJ the room payins: ' -j, .YrSL'T-jf!' eaughSr them! Cnet" rly 'gracious! when will it . Isn't this come off' Yhai?' asked Jonas, much confused, and locking for a hole big enough to hide in. 'The ladies allude to our approaching nup tials, my dear eaid Miss Gauzy. 'This day has been appointed by Mr. Myway for the private celebration of the solemn ceremony.' I thinl that is ahem s'pose we wait a bit? , ' 'I am tstoniahed at you, Mr. Myway! I have had the parson, Mr. Tyemtite, in the next apartment since 106eloek. Admit him, ladies, and you, fchall witness the delightful ceremony In walked the parson. tev. Tvemtite. 'But, now see wait nbid on I ouiht license gasped Jonas, as the three bourdiog house ladies grasped him by the arms, and led him to the centre of the floor. 'I took the liberty to waive that form my dear, a tiie yie, and I will pay the fine if necessary said Miss Gauzy, rising and ta king her place by his side. 'But, hold up look here no ring gasped Jonas. 'All is prepared, my love,' said Miss Gau zy, placing the rio iu his hand. Jl l.i.io 4ii.i. .. Hi 1.1. i , um.ikii.au vui.13, . in fur it go ahead or back out.' 'Here is a pair of glcve, Jos6.-; be t-o l;"nd aj ti put them on said Araminta, jmv in htm a pmall package rrrai'cd u tiirue paper. 'Never wear eui crowle-1 Jjna. thut irg the pa shape into his pocket. Trocecd with the ceremony, sir sail Miss Gauzy, throwing those plump arms ar ound the neck of Jonas, ar.d saluting Lim with a rapturous Li.-s. 'I'll do it yes I will daubtcx married d Floatfast my fate,' muttered Jcna, whom this hi.-s a. l the pressure cf the; vLItc tnc3 had ii.t -xicated. Tjii.tlfe v.e.:t lire ;h the ceremony, and as he f"n.ur.clr tlerh man and wif-, th door was thrown open, an 1 I luatfist Laslil;. ttjtcr.; 1 t'te rom. 'Too UUr, to,;. IvfrMr Ilobert Fl- at fast laughed the late Miss Gauzj; alIov i.ie Vj present to veu my husband, Jonas Myway. Anl it ii &!xay Lert to begin at tLe bogin ing. allow me to teii ou that you thall Lev er enter my bouse.' But. if Mr. Myway conseiiif?" tl Flcat- it . lie t.'iil never consent to anything 1 op pose, nod if he does, then we shall see,' said Araminti,' vitb a sharpness that reminded Jonas forcibly 'of his hrst wife. 'I suspect am in for it muttered Joras, gazing wildly about him.' 'Myway, you are a dupe, said Floatfast. This woman is uot your wife, for she has two husbands now living,; One is in the city, a certain James Slider, Madam. Hold her! i she'll faint. She is the accomplice of John I Jcrks;!io is Lerl.-.tt ft bey; and he has just j told me that thi3 fine chime has the 7000 wrapped in tissue apc;- Here Jonas drew from his pocket' the package supposed to be i gloves, piven him by the late Mi3 Gauzy, and ha.fi!y unfolding it he found seven one thousand dollar bills, neatly rolled up. 'It is all true groaned the late Miss Gau zy, alias Slider, alias ShifHe, fainting in car nest. Hurrah. cried "Jone?. -What a narrow escape. What a shiver rrn thrc-gh m? when she sail 'she'd see Jah. the chill came from the tomb . Come, Bob, my Eon glad to own you as one come heme let's have a grand blow-out, and on the way tell me all about it, I'll not prosecute that fellow Jerks let hliii wide from Slider he'll fix him. Good-by, ladies. ollitr Ji.'h to fry? Not this time no, 1 hav.s Xol Exactly Lewi. A noble star, the other cigliiot quite full of brandy and mu sic, in fact, jucily so, end he hal not got over it the next morning, when he was re ported to the Mayor. "How is this?" cidd the Mayor, "noi sober yet?" ' I. "Sober," was (he reply as ho straightened himself up with drunken dignity, 'v.ho cays A am uut ei'oci ; "VtThy you can not walk a straight line' said the Mayor; "there try aud walk along that seam in tho floor." Buttoning up his coat, with determination, be sfarledto try it, but doubled over the line several times. At lasi he exclaimed You know it ain't a fair shake, the tloor ins't level' T "Ma, has your tongue got legs?" "Got what, child?" "Got legs, ma?' "Certainly not, why do you ax"k that silly question?" ( - ' Ch.V'vihirIg, only I heard pa say your tongao was ruuning from morning tiUuisht and I was wandering how it could 'run' witho'-t Ieg3 ' That's all, ma. v "I; your Dabster?" horso perfectly gentle. Mr. "Perfectly .gentle, sir, tho only fault he baa got, if that be a fault, b a playful habit of extending his hinder hoofs now and then.' "By extending his hinder hoofs you do not mean kicking I hope?" Soma neonle call it kickins. Mr. Green, lut it's only a slight reaction of tbe muscles. a debase rather than a rice." SItort I'attnt Sermon, Text Pay the Printer. My Deas Friends : The debt that sits heaviest upon the conscience cf a mortal, provided he is one, is the debt due tho prin ter. It presses harder on cne's bosom than the night mare galls the soul, frets and ehafrs every ennobling sentiment, squeezes all the juica of fraternal sympathy from the heart, and leaves it dryer than the surfaco cf a roasted potato. A man who wrongs the printer out of a single red cent cau never expect to enjoy the comforts of this world, and may well have dcuts of flawing happiness ia anXther. Oh, you ungrateful siuners ! If you have hearts moistened with tho dew of mercv, in stal of gizzards filled with gravel, take heed what I say utst ycu. If there be one of you in the congregation who has not settled his account with the printer, go and adjust it immediatclv, and be able to hold un your head in society like a giraffe ; be respected j bv tha wise and tlm food : frf-e from the tor- i ture of a guilty conscience, the mortification of repeated duns, and escape from falling rirt thr olntflie r,f ' w viTs rhiMi i rn ami the same thiD?. If vou are honest and I on- orable men, you will go forth and pay tho printer. You will sot wait for to-mono?. it is but a visi .nary receptacle for unredeemed prom ises an addled eg in the great nest of the future, and the debtor's hope aud the credi tor's cur.se. If you are dishonest lew-minded sous of Satan, I do not suppose you will pay the printer, as you have no n putatiou to lose, no character to sustain, no morals to cultivate But Lt mo tell ycu, my friends, that if you c'o it, your path to the to-ib will be strewed with thorns; vou will have to gather your food from brambles, your childreu wi'.l die cf i dysentery, yourselves wi 1 never c j j the I blesrUH's of health, I once called upon a pick p doctor hjl "iven ui. is a "t,i ri' n "vbom th him if he ha 1 made l i -i aee ith Ll ktr rri l Le thought 1.2 ht '. i j'iire if he L-1 f.iri'-'i Lis 1 VI". I thei. :.ke 1 !. 2 up. t U: - im if I then i..tui 'A ti.if.-s. He r i 1, l.n.l 1 . i 'it t-.r. He hv.-itated a m - ment. aud t'.-n sail L i -u.-ht Le c-we-I him fit": v t.tit. v hich Le about twi" dciircd .":.!d Lj piil before l.r give go 1 bvc tj tho ately era. w.-rli. His dciir-: wa iriiiiieli i I. a:; 1 fr. v.: that in' :jitit Le lecan e c- nva'-.-.-'cnt. He i cw livim?. i'A tVi. t riiiTn. n it r :.r, 1 r ri rio r i' T i at Leac uith Ll, jiUvi.-.w.-i-fGtd, auf th; world. L t hi ll be at x.an t f r v .iu.uit fri-n-is Patitiiize the ptict-.r. tk- hia j ap-r and pay for it in advamv. and yc-ur days wii! b lerig upn tl.-e : .r:h , cl orrrdwic? with the hor.cy of l3ppine.. An I'nli" c-aily occupi out T.aultr. Wh li indiffer- I d, I was approached Lt au in hon I hi. 1 cl-jt-rvad diirnaiil Euclihtnatl, striding up and down in great wrath ; and Le now, aripirc-nlly, sought me fjr the purpose of unbesomiug himself, an 1 thus preventing a dangerous explosion. H-' began by de claiming -violently against the exorbitant charges of all continental iuuS. anl the oue whose hospitality we were enjoying in par ticular. The immediate cause ot bi3 c-hoH,r related to the Ixjujics, or wax caniles, he had beeu forced to use the uight before. lie abruntlv promised to teach me a leoson, anl invited" mc ta fllo-w him. I did so whin. taking me. uy.:ctiouiy up to his room, aud lockiisr every door. 1 e cautiously opened a large hair trunk, and, emphatic-il'v pointing down into itd depth;, sid "There 1" Well V" I demanded, as 1 saw the trunk was half full of partly burned iouits. aud I not unreas'onabij- took him to bo a peripatetic tallow-chandler, exhibiting specimens cf Lis manufactures. "Weil !J I repeated. "Well' said he, "you see 1 do not let them impose -upon me. Whenever at the inns they charge the Laurie in the bill, I carry it away vrith me." A New Invention. Mr. Norman Wiard, of Wisconsin, proposes to construct a water tight iron beat, for the conveyance ot passen gers and freight on i"cc, with greater safety, economy anl fpesd Lh in cvi be done by any other known means of transit. These boats wiil entirely supersede the necessity of railroads in winter, where built parallel to rivers iu cold climates. The track costs nothi-.tcr, and is kept in repair without expense ; a depth of snow which wruld stop a train "of car3 would make no vibibb im pression ca the speed or progress of this ice boat. If the ice should fail, the Loat would rest upon the wafer, aud by tbe p jwer ot the en nines couii be launched upoc tha ice with greater ease than a locomotive could bo re placed upm the track when off. The boat which I first propose to build, will be twelve feet ia width by seventy feet in length, aud wh?n resting upon tho water would displace about one f Kit io depth. It wiil he propelled by a pair of locomotive CDgines, acting cn a single driving-wheel, to which adhesion is civen bv various devices. IIo now wishes to obtab sufficient capital enable bim to construct one of tte,-e boats to enable bim -to construe: one oi ixese coats j ,iUS for th0 bcut fit he derived frciu an aiver for immediate use on the Upper Mississippi, j tisment which recei'-'C 1 tws day's insertion. Discv.Kzion irt'th as. Illustration. "Is the sense of smelling more pleasing than that of tasting ?" was the subject up before a western debating c'ub in a bar room. Uncle Jeo was the last to speak npen the negative, and .It wrr ar.xinus to ii ar him deliver luui t. Walking up -to tha barkeeni-r he called for hot whiskey .punch, and brack it oC W'.ta great guto thpn turning to hhs (vppecent, he handed the empty gliss to the l.sndiii.' disputant, and thundered out "noir email it. vou varmint!" It is needless to add that Uncle Joe "brought down the heusa nd J also the decisis ijj.ttt bp gautf . Only Tlffht. flushed, how week. Le li, WLat'f Hovf the matter with him? Only Tight! Tight !' Yes, intoxicated. Only tight, Man's best anl gretst gC his intellect, degraded,"- the only power that raises him from the brute creatien, trodioa under the foot of a debasing appetite. Only tight I' Tbe mother stands with pale face &ud tear dimmed eye to see her only son's disgrace, and in her fancy pictures the bitter cup of woe of which' this is the foreshadowing, - ' - ' 'Only tight !' The genllo sister, who strongest love through lifh has been given to her handsome, talented brother, shrinks with contempt and disgust from his embrace, an l brushes away the Let, impure kiss which he has imprinted on her cheek. Only tight ';', And the young bride stops in tbe glad dance the is niakicg ta meet hiin, and checks the welcome ou hot I;PS S"22 in tcrror f u lLo reeiing form and flushed faw of Li:n who was tho "god of her idolatry. Only ti-htl" And the father's face grows dark and sad, and with a Litter sigh, he stoops over tha aecselefts form of h s first Lorn. He has brought sorrow to all theso s.2"co tionate heart.', be has brought himself down to the level of biu'.es, he Las lasted tbe roU ououi draught aaio, bj has fjih'ea fron bigb and oobU marbood. to babling iliocy x4 heavy stupor, brought grief to kit mother, distrust to Lin tiater, almost dispair t- his bride, and bowed bis father's heai with or- row, ibut tight!" biame Lini sot fjr Le is "oulj Purmiij an jc'iijur. Gcor js Sel LrjpcLltg t-j b- at I)th fthrn it rts. Learly n.pty, i ludiccd. t r the i;jr pj f oe ef hi; losr tl-ie, t ejl.ivnte the c-iuia- tanoe v" L?Vit of 'il ihv f ''.Hi Alj h-, i1 Q th r..i ! i '.! j i j iL io-1 Iii the L'ght , Sc'wju c(.ouau.rl Lii.' I .- via; iu St. J a -" t'ix.t. Ha ti'.A.. led t-j pA.4i ut.:.u'.ietd, Lut io fata t t u.u i y a tec ; u.t: r-piif J tb l tee .".t ie.AVt:. "j m -.-t brpy 1 Y.u I ft to iiA'.L, I shall b to Iwca; trjiA.uUi with js i Girt pain. BiatL a aocticnsc: f7 uU give net tho exDreijn of trie cuuztnancd that wd! cMti-J another, or ivi'l tLriii of paia to Lt bjvjm' We ar turrcuiidrd by nsitive h arts, which a word a l ek tven. might fill tha brim with sorrow. If y -u are earths.? of the rriniots cf otbarr remember tual they are di3.-rcnt;y constitu.- ' ted from yeurstlf, and aevir. by word orti?u i . .. .1 i - i i J . . fc "ai buiuuw vu a uayinv neart. or thro aside the smiles of joy that linger oq a plea . . . auk eumjuueuec. XiT A Troy paper is responsible for this, which strikes U3 as being good: The other day, young man, decidedly inebriated, walk ed into the Executive chamber and called fat the Governor. "What da ycu want with him?" mquirrd the Secretary. "Ob, I want an ofnee with a good salary a sinecure.' "Wc-li." replied the Secretary. "I can tell you someiuing ueuer ior yoc thun a sinecure j you had better try a cater curel A ne iJJea seemed to bt;II:e tht -inebriate, snd he I vai-jjsed." J-iTMr J.ne- -T htt's a fit-e horso yoare He carried List Lead very loading, Patrick. well,' Pat 'That's thruo he carries behind him" An it's a gran-I tail Jones 'Lc-Liud him! Everything 4 carries a tail cairies it b.hiaJ.-' Pat 'No. your honer. Jones 'No! What dou't V Pat -'A cwit, sure it c?rrics is t til cue tide, and its head on the other.' on Dead Head A freight car was npejaeii at Benwcod, Ya , on Aturday. which ha-i been kept closed since it left "Philadelphia, near a week ago. No sooner was ibe door opened than out jumped a young man, whe took to Lis Leeds lii.e a grt-yhouca, w ithout stopping to answer any questions An ex amination showed that the traveler had pro vided himself with enough of eatabl -s to keep bim on a much longer trip than the one hs maua. Dr. Adam Clark, who had a ftxoag aversion to puik, was calbd upon to say grace at dinner, where the principal dish was roast pig. He is reported to Lave said 'O Lord, if thou canst bless under tha gospel what Thou didst cursa under the law, bless this piS-' CfiL. An Ohio editor eays : "What can be more captivating thau to see a beautiful woman, say about fe-ur feet eleven inches high, and clover -feet four inches 'in circum ference, passing aloDg the aisle ust as divine worship commences ?" - ;- ' .t A writer in the New York Tribune f r- j wa?ds to tfcat piper twenty dsllars, ,iUS for the bcut fit he derived frciu : as a bo- He sajs it was the best investment aa ever m-lsj Sensible man thu. Said Tom "Since I have been abarit; I have eaten s much veal that I a'n asham ed to loo!; a ca'.f in the face." "I 'pose sir. then, eaid a wag who was present, "you a glass." phave without a It is said to be diug-jrous ta bo wor king with a sewing machine near a window when there b "a thunder storm. It Is alas very dangerous to sit near some sewing ma chines whsa there is no thunder ctorux JL. least, om havft'uni it so u i1 mi o O O
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers