p
7 "
Am
v
If
THE BLESSIXG3 OF GOVERNMENT, LIKE THE DEWS OP HEAVEN, SHOULD BE EISTE13UTjy AiLKE UPON TEE HIGH AND THE LOW, THE BICH AND THE POOB.
SEW SERIES.
EBENSBUBG," Pi., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23, 1859.
VOL. 6--X0. 18.
fl
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Select poctrn.
Bt V. HENET.
My l.irk is on hfo'd troubled sea,
I cara ::ot where it goes,
's -.t matter lifo's w ild stoirns to me?
JYLat matter where its clse?
TLf b'jst of earth, iti hopes and j"vs.
Are drearay, fading things;
w::b, W9 sigh, we gr.p somo praise,
I: i;cs cn magic wings.
i: U that I hate tht world,
Or it hath bated me;
IlUnot that no eye hath emiled,
io '.iht my weary way;
lis not because what'er I loved.
That death 1ms loved it too;
io, 'tiS not that makes me sad,
.ul circles whero I go.
I'vq r;-.:idly luvfe'l, yet all in vain;
Stiil ia.v".!y. still vnhlest,
J love, p.nd nur&e the roi!. vala
That bur::a v.ithiu my brt-at.
my heart wait weep, it will iK t brt aL
My must wrtlio .ir.-i 1-vr
ind u-;r hji:' know tiiftirv.vsri cch?,
"Cy or feign, or ter.
L''..,v J I came, caiovsj I j.;
What there lft for m--
v". :. litttrn U yet to ki.w,
V: c . g- r.e for aye fr.m thoe?
W !.-. J 'wiiv j-.vn lhv'.s caih riyti,
.. :. : 1 -t:i is L.au'.n. ".t.
I
!.: v.;.h 1M l.vci ti.ee U?.
1 i IV. i u-i-d me rr
iUisccllancous.
"O l JUL II FlII TO riSl'."
i ri
ii WILLIAM HEN RT FECK.
I
4'; a Tr.irry that young man, never dare ;
f ,:'.:k t; i:.e uain Marry him ! If cvt i j
as Mif ak toiiiiH, look at him, or !
-a ..r h'
'I- J X..S
--li..., 8t
C ii't you Fpeak to me V criad i
ft v
. V.
y to Li3 loving aaugiiier
reahfsst table, Lt the same
. 1 . I .
clutlrg the tabby, thai Jaj upon the
'u2, v.I'..'i a tr-a? .-""'.io kick'tbat fle-
1 that demure &n;.aiai's body
d ideas
l -ire tever admitted thatl wish to tanr
- remarked the blue-eytd Eunice,
e-i course not I I never knew a woman
U.; aivtbir.2. except that she was richt
j'-i pretty, and everybody ebe wrong and
said Mr. JJyway, hammering at an
, &s if he bel l a cocoa-nut. 'You are a
, Mi.-n Eurdce, and cue of these days you
U.iovf if. Who am I ? Wby I am Jonas
of Tehoupitouhis street a man said
He worth two hundred thousand dollars T
i iiurr1! ! .-.. .-i il.i-fl T u irifii ? Tint-.
'J , hem ! I won't swear to it I will
arrj a young wife immediately, if you let
-' tharp-eyed, broad-headed, jack-a napes
so much as 'good morning to you, from
- -ij.tow, henceforth and forever Amen !
u- P u;c. Jacob !'
v ''!'.GlG woaU yoa marry, father?' asked
i5 Luaiee, in a tone as mellow as a flute.
'H'-a? Vhy, anybody,' cried Jonas
wrathfiilly crushing a biscuit to
't ct me see y anybody vould
if they hnev7 him as well as I do,"
-e, passing the sugar-bowl to him as
''to look less sourlv over his coffee-cup,
Wspkasa-t.: that's filial ! I shall cer
J has my temrer. Mv temncr is a race-
u'-jei ih,log I bite when I am angry,'
v. . uQurisning nia silver rori, ana
t0 look verv determined.
futufcr. vriTi TiTf rr) f urTiin rn-' r.r.'
, .lT?, Lut then vou crowl amainclv at all
t l . , -. . . "
jtaV. e ao iauy OI your ac-
''jc would have" you; therefore, I am
t;,j.rc '
:f Ca tre Then I'll marry some lady not
roared Jonas, Til gee, you'll eee, ev
-,;J il see.
--ww A A kj kj tJ AAA J 4-AA I'l IUV
,1 T ... ...
'J3rev..: are you going woo t
on
onar Q ecP o company '? exclaim-
ki to t76 t0 fon1 of pepper, father ; bc-
,rPMH .t . worn P"60- but very
1 bare other fish to fry." retor-
'f.00(1 news for the blind,' blindly
''it. yli,s.KQice, aa the rose and swept
Siil lV T00 leavinn her father
breakfast alonn.'
ted Bliss Eunice, as she disappeared, hum-
iuiuR an operatic air.
'Too much pepper ! fish to fry !' growled
Jonas, cutting savagely at bis mutton-chop ;
you ll see pepper 1 l-'ll pepper that black
eyed, bve-sick. moneyiessFIoatfast, if bo
ever iQtrude3 bis smirking visage into this
house again. Hah! he'll bo the fish that
I shall fry fry him to a crisp." She's just
liko her mother ' said he pausing to look at
the portrait of his deceased wife, which hung
over the mantelpiece.
Mrs. Mrwavhad lff. .Tnnns. n. widower ?nrrm
eighteen years before the scene just describe,!,
and'T7facn !Vd"uce was about two years old.
WhU-3 sha lived, Jcc32?as hf no mccr.f the
head of tho fauiilv; cn the contrary, he misht
aptly have bcn called tha tail-cncl, for Mm
My way was one of those firm and self-willed
dames, by eo means common csw-a-days,
who will have their way or die for it. Jonas
was naturally as good nature J auu pliant as
his Letter ha.r was milexible, aid he found
it conduced much move to his comfort to say
nothliig and shako his ears, than to rc.'art
ana have them bosed. As his only child
grew up to womanhood sho had impercepti
bly swayed her fond tether as psicntiy as bad
her mother ; but with iuSoitely more s'.reot
ness. Jcr;,-.s used to say his wifo steeped
him in vinegar, while his daughtor coated
him with honey. He had yitlded to c-rery
whim and wish of tho latter for so many years
thai ho found it rather tough now to thwart
her. But he had resolved to have his own
way for enco in his life, cot only because he
j could not bear the idea that Floatfast should
carry
daughter, but because ho had
j lately discovered that a certain spinster, Miss
j Gauzy; was Vciy loving towards him, and h?
imagined she had the sweetest temper m the
Tvoman-world. Xow, Miss Gauzy detested
Mr. Bob Floatfast. principally because- that
young gentleman had insinuated that the red
of her cheeks was artistically laid on, and the
vrLiisness of her cuticle of Chinese manufac
ture She emphatically declared to Mr.
Jona:- that she would give all she had iu the
world if that fellow Flotfast was chased out
of New Orleans; in fact banished to some Pt.
Helena She "said, besides, that whoever
liked Floatfast hated her, and vice versa.
Therefore, Jonas, to show his devotion, de
tected him. Tbe spinster, whose age was
uncertain, let as say forty-five, was reported
to bo very wealthy, ihcuh where that wealth
wts. no cue could tell. Sho had, of late,
ma le eyes and mouths at Jonas, whose heart
was very susceptible, urji',1 that worthy en-
t'-vn!ri bad falLu profjruiy ia love with her
j and Lai gosc fhr as to dT r her Lis h?r:d
iShe had graciously accepted it upon the cou
' ditlon that he ?hoi.U refuse 1 loatfatt as a
! fcon-in-I.iT. ai,d c'.'k,T her to ui.-cse of the
i baud cf Euric ; ir.torjding to f;ive it to her
ntphcHr Jofiu Je:k.; ia fact she had stipu
j lated that bc'.h Widdigs jhouli con:e cfT on
the fame d i.
I here YU, in ti.e eves cf limce, nol
it;
; m-.re c '-uumvribio iu to wid
wor;u tiiau
! that fellow J"!m Jerr ., and nothin;? so ma
- L'C'.-ctit as Eohcrt Floaifatt ; and the latter
! lreiitli :;:r.?! va n.u.-h ef ihe f-arr.e ordnioc.
Mr.
a it atfjtt was a very agreeable young
f ahoi;t twcrifv-Sve years, and not as
' man. o
!i as Cfci-Uo. Ir. Jerks was a very d'.o-
; a;:rotah!e youns n:aG, cf the same ape. and
i rer'ited Liir to h!j aunt's refuted wealth.
I A
Tl.ti rich s..ck the ilc-h, and. therefore. Jonas
Al.' AW I 1 . v UiJVA( 4.AVftV4 f
My way sought Miss Gauzy. He had no
yet ir.fjnrcd Eunice of his matrimonial
had not as
in-
truiions, l ut the time Lad come waea tee ice
jh.uid be broken.
Altfir unisfiinc Lis orcaktast, ho sauntcrea
iito the pailor to find bis daughter He
found htr Elated at the piano.
I hats the gridiron, I suppose, said he,
as he entered, 'and 1 suppose that sheet of
music is the fbh you are trying : it puts me
in mind of a sea of tadpoles.
Sit down, father; I see that you have
smetbing very important upon your mind,'
said Euuico, revolving her chair.
'Yes, I always had an esnressive counte
nance Your mother said stie married me
more for that than anything else,' said Jonas.
'Most ladies marry for Eomething of" that
kind,' remarked Eunice, tbiuhing of the
handsome and .very expressive face of 11. F.,
Esq , attorney at law, No. 12 Exchange
'I am very glad we are upon the subject
rail Jouas, twirling his thumbs uneasily.
'In fact, I yes I mean that is '
'You seem agitated, father.' said Eunice.
'Hut I am not; I am icy cool,' said Jonas
wiping his forehead nervously. 'I mean,
that I intend to marry somebody shortly.'
Really !'
'Most unequivocally and emphatically. I
have offered my hand and have been accepted
conditionally.' said Jonas, with a grimace,
for he abominated John Jerks,
And who is the victim ?'
Victim ! there is no victim, unless it be
you. Miss Gauzy is tbe lady.'
'Father, you are crazy !'
'I know it ; I have been aware of it for
some time, and have determined to put on a
matrimonial straigbt-jaoket. Miss Gauzy is
the jacket.'
'She ' id undoubtedly a yellow-jacket, and
has btung you eoreiy,' eaid Eunice ; 'but let
us hear the coaditinus upon which tho lady
accepts you ' "
That's the tough part,' said Jonas 'Now,
I have been a most excellent and indulgent
father to you, ' You know it. You have al
ways had your oy7n way I let'you have it.
In fchort, I wh;b yo.a to do as I wish you. ' for
once. Tho conditions are such as must proye
very zpTczzblo t,o you. 'First, 'yoi mutt
marry.' '
'So far I havo Jio objection,' baid Eunice,
whom Jonas thought remarkably cool.
'I am glad to bear it. Well, what thiuk
you of John Jerks V eaid Jonas, flapping his
legs.
I think him a fool, and that is the failing
of all bb family, snarled Miss Eunice.
'Sorry to hear that ; for unless you marry
Mr. John Jerks lean never marry Miss
Gauzy and that thought is teriific,'
So is she, and her gojrgle-eyed nephew is
horrific, - if marked Mhs Eunice, tartly.
Very well, very well ; but ycu must mar
ry him.'
That i? wholly and forever impossible.'
'Eh? Impossible is a word that Napoleon
expunged from his dictionary. I have been
taught to resemble him much, more especially
in my in my my iuode of expression
rni and laconic, liui whv do vou tiiint
that it H imrapossihle?'
'liecuuse I; father, tlajl never commit
mit,
Yh;
it cried Jonas, fprisgicg up, 'biga-
my '
'That means more than one husband, dos
tu't it'f And as I marr:ed lat night lo Mr.
Fioatfaat, I cannot, unfortunately, marry
Mr. John Jerks said Eunice, blushing.
' 'This ii deli-htfal cried Mr Myway,
rapidly pacing the floor. So you have mar
ried that fool-head. I detest you, I scorn
ycu; I east you off forever!'
'And I will gll:y take charge of so pre
cious a jjwe!,' said a doep and manly voice,
as a tall and noble-looking young man stop
ped from the heavy curtains of an alcove,
and placed Lis arms around the slender waist
of Eunice, who reciprocated the caress.
IIo, oh! I see that is tho Call you w?ro
frying!' cried Jonas, grinning wUh rage. 'A
speeles of shark, commonly mailed attorney!
Out of my Louse, and fry the sh elsewhere.
I disown you. I sh?.!I marry Miss Gauzy
and adopt her nephw.'
No you wont. I will bet ycu a new hat
that you never will urry that portrait paint
er,' said Floatfast, boning.
'Done Mr. Shark. I will marry her this
very diy, and Mr. John Jerks shall occupy
that uugi -ateful girl's apartment ro-ired Jo
nai, co-founded by the cojlnein of h;s son-:u
law, and bv the smile that played upon L'is
da
ught.-r s rosy
l:?s
T will bet the prije
of my
vrea-iin suit
at Mr. Julia Jcih's never enters tnis Louse.
said Floatfast, tauntinl, 'for I had him ar-
res-ca thii? luornirig
UjOU
thc charge of f;r-
crerv, and fee! couule
t ho will sojourn for
the next ten year?, at least in Ea'.oa Kou?e.'
Fir tr! I v.oit Ithcvc it. Yi u
trimncd u'j the ehar'e to .serve your own ra.s-
car
; .nJ:?.
l il Lau
t.
cri?a
Myv,
r.Z around f.r L
hat.
! hot
:1 !
you a we
.i-n c.tt,'
.at yea
do
no:
:id
1
' cmiiir
'an.lly. Mid
r.-e s r:i i
ce
Sber:
ki
1 I.)Vtlv
?y i.
''Ihis is ufihcan?
Mr.
I .'.r.i not ik-.'us-
t '.Teir. gir. Luc m
u;nale.' shot.iclJ.
w m? ti say that
.1
roam to r-j. !ii afur t!ie nIiing hat. 'Out of
h re.' exatim-jd, r.s he f unl it i.t last iu
the dining room, ha'f full of the tabby's pur
ring prog: ny, aril tc-tttrin a thowcr of kit
tens u-oo tr.c i wr: if I flu 1 eiti.er i'i vou
here
u
n:y return, I will Lave a poli.ee-
man r.i'cr y
u.
'I'll b t the bridal trotisxivi: that yru will
not; and that ye will kiss my wifi ud hu i
me c:ied the inexorable Fh.atfast, as Jones ;
rushed frntn tho house and hrstencd to the I
liccorder'rf oiTioc He reaehed-that pleasant '
looainsr enatiiLer, was dirccteu to the propcr
ouieial, aiid demanded the light to give bail
fjr Mr. John Jerh'3.
'John Jerls? John JcrksV said
clerk, fumbling amonr his papers.
'That's the man. How much?
the ailibie
Name the
sum! I will go bail cried Jonas wildly
'Charge, frgerv. Bail required, 15,
000.' 'Eh'r' stamered Jonas, growing oool.
'15,000. Forged note for S500 made
way with 7000 found 1500 seed ip ia
his stockiag-lefr,' said Mr. Clerk affably.
'The deuce!' ciicd Jonas 'Whose name
did he forge that is, is he accused of for- j
gin"?'
'No doubt of it returned Mr. Clerk He
ha3 owed up confessed said he gambled
away the missing S7000. Forged the name
of the name of let me see here it is, Jo
nas Myway
'Me? my Lame? I am Jonas My way,'
cheated Jonas, growing very white; 'and
spent 7 GOO. My friend confer upon me a
Treat favor, I wish to choke that John Jerks
I am sure that I can take 7,000 worth of
strangulation out of that fellow. Give mo
the 1500 at least, for I am Jonas My way.'
'Certain forms are necessary first.'
'They are?. Devil3 aSoat! 1 have schools
of fish to fry cried Jonas, harrying to his
lawyer. Within a few hours he had regain
ed the 1500, but the 7000 were 'gome
glimmering.'
Jonas then hurried to the residence of Miss
Gauzy; she resided on Camp street, and il
luminated a boarding-house with her sub
lime patronage. Jonas awaited her in the
parlor, and after some, delay, was infoimed
that Miss Gauzy was so seriously iadirposed
that she could have the extreme felicity of
seeing him only iu her room With a heart
palpitating with late, hope; anger and suspi
cion Jonas asoended 'to the virgins apart
ment. '
She was cursing ia fa-t, all of those
maiden ladies of her class are excessively ecu
ning and excel iu making man-traps, the
was lying cpon a sofa, a purfumed kerchief
in her band, aud tears in her eye she had
but one, the other was glass; j-ct Miss Gau
zy was, when in full toilet, with all. her har
ness 60, a very handsome woman, barring an
expression of duplicity '-hat clouded " overy
f c stturc ?- t
Oh, Mr. Myway! ia it not dreadful?' she
cried, burryrogter glass c-e iu tho "-scented
cambric, and sharply watching him with tLe
other.
Awful! awful! especially the 7000 said
Jonas, groaning.
'He can never marry your hrely Eunice,
nowF
TLioknot am sure of it. She'a married
that follow Floatfast; sharp fellow, that.'
I ilotest him; and I adore thee, Jonas!'
cried Araminta Gauzy, who began to feel tho
sand slipping from under her feet. 'Sit near
me (arliBg, I beseech thee.'
softness of the tone, the melody of the
voiet; the lacgoar of the eye visable, the
emaloot, the delicate hand and well round
ed a:i,: had their effect upon Jonas. He
moyt.5 his chair very near the mruden; he
kissvii her, and as he did so, the door opened
and VifVi highly amused bcarding-houie la-
clcKvviispJ the room payins: '
-j, .YrSL'T-jf!' eaughSr them!
Cnet" rly 'gracious! when will it
. Isn't this
come off'
Yhai?' asked Jonas, much confused, and
locking for a hole big enough to hide in.
'The ladies allude to our approaching nup
tials, my dear eaid Miss Gauzy. 'This day
has been appointed by Mr. Myway for the
private celebration of the solemn ceremony.'
I thinl that is ahem s'pose we wait a
bit? , '
'I am tstoniahed at you, Mr. Myway! I
have had the parson, Mr. Tyemtite, in the
next apartment since 106eloek. Admit him,
ladies, and you, fchall witness the delightful
ceremony
In walked the parson. tev. Tvemtite.
'But, now see wait nbid on I ouiht
license gasped Jonas, as the three bourdiog
house ladies grasped him by the arms, and
led him to the centre of the floor.
'I took the liberty to waive that form my
dear, a tiie yie, and I will pay the fine if
necessary said Miss Gauzy, rising and ta
king her place by his side.
'But, hold up look here no ring gasped
Jonas.
'All is prepared, my love,' said Miss Gau
zy, placing the rio iu his hand.
Jl l.i.io 4ii.i. .. Hi 1.1. i , um.ikii.au vui.13, .
in fur it go ahead or back out.'
'Here is a pair of glcve, Jos6.-; be t-o
l;"nd aj ti put them on said Araminta, jmv
in htm a pmall package rrrai'cd u tiirue
paper.
'Never wear eui crowle-1 Jjna. thut
irg the pa shape into his pocket.
Trocecd with the ceremony, sir sail
Miss Gauzy, throwing those plump arms ar
ound the neck of Jonas, ar.d saluting Lim
with a rapturous Li.-s.
'I'll do it yes I will daubtcx married
d Floatfast my fate,' muttered Jcna,
whom this hi.-s a. l the pressure cf the;
vLItc tnc3 had ii.t -xicated.
Tjii.tlfe v.e.:t lire ;h the ceremony, and
as he f"n.ur.clr tlerh man and wif-, th
door was thrown open, an 1 I luatfist Laslil;.
ttjtcr.; 1 t'te rom.
'Too UUr, to,;. IvfrMr Ilobert Fl- at fast
laughed the late Miss Gauzj; alIov i.ie Vj
present to veu my husband, Jonas Myway.
Anl it ii &!xay Lert to begin at tLe bogin
ing. allow me to teii ou that you thall Lev
er enter my bouse.'
But. if Mr. Myway conseiiif?" tl Flcat-
it .
lie t.'iil never consent to anything 1 op
pose, nod if he does, then we shall see,' said
Araminti,' vitb a sharpness that reminded
Jonas forcibly 'of his hrst wife.
'I suspect am in for it muttered Joras,
gazing wildly about him.'
'Myway, you are a dupe, said Floatfast.
This woman is uot your wife, for she has
two husbands now living,; One is in the city,
a certain James Slider, Madam. Hold her!
i she'll faint. She is the accomplice of John
I Jcrks;!io is Lerl.-.tt ft bey; and he has just
j told me that thi3 fine chime has the 7000
wrapped in tissue apc;- Here Jonas drew
from his pocket' the package supposed to be
i gloves, piven him by the late Mi3 Gauzy,
and ha.fi!y unfolding it he found seven one
thousand dollar bills, neatly rolled up.
'It is all true groaned the late Miss Gau
zy, alias Slider, alias ShifHe, fainting in car
nest. Hurrah. cried "Jone?. -What a narrow
escape. What a shiver rrn thrc-gh m? when
she sail 'she'd see Jah. the chill came
from the tomb . Come, Bob, my Eon glad
to own you as one come heme let's have a
grand blow-out, and on the way tell me all
about it, I'll not prosecute that fellow Jerks
let hliii wide from Slider he'll fix him.
Good-by, ladies.
ollitr Ji.'h to fry?
Not this time no, 1 hav.s
Xol Exactly Lewi. A noble star, the
other cigliiot quite full of brandy and mu
sic, in fact, jucily so, end he hal not got
over it the next morning, when he was re
ported to the Mayor.
"How is this?" cidd the Mayor, "noi sober
yet?" ' I.
"Sober," was (he reply as ho straightened
himself up with drunken dignity, 'v.ho cays
A am uut ei'oci ;
"VtThy you can not walk a straight line'
said the Mayor; "there try aud walk along
that seam in tho floor."
Buttoning up his coat, with determination,
be sfarledto try it, but doubled over the line
several times. At lasi he exclaimed
You know it ain't a fair shake, the tloor
ins't level'
T "Ma, has your tongue got legs?"
"Got what, child?"
"Got legs, ma?'
"Certainly not, why do you ax"k that silly
question?" ( - '
Ch.V'vihirIg, only I heard pa say your
tongao was ruuning from morning tiUuisht
and I was wandering how it could 'run'
witho'-t Ieg3 ' That's all, ma. v
"I; your
Dabster?"
horso perfectly gentle. Mr.
"Perfectly .gentle, sir, tho only fault he
baa got, if that be a fault, b a playful habit
of extending his hinder hoofs now and then.'
"By extending his hinder hoofs you do
not mean kicking I hope?"
Soma neonle call it kickins. Mr. Green,
lut it's only a slight reaction of tbe muscles.
a debase rather than a rice."
SItort I'attnt Sermon,
Text Pay the Printer.
My Deas Friends : The debt that sits
heaviest upon the conscience cf a mortal,
provided he is one, is the debt due tho prin
ter. It presses harder on cne's bosom than
the night mare galls the soul, frets and ehafrs
every ennobling sentiment, squeezes all the
juica of fraternal sympathy from the heart,
and leaves it dryer than the surfaco cf a
roasted potato.
A man who wrongs the printer out of a
single red cent cau never expect to enjoy the
comforts of this world, and may well have
dcuts of flawing happiness ia anXther.
Oh, you ungrateful siuners ! If you have
hearts moistened with tho dew of mercv, in
stal of gizzards filled with gravel, take heed
what I say utst ycu. If there be one of you
in the congregation who has not settled his
account with the printer, go and adjust it
immediatclv, and be able to hold un your
head in society like a giraffe ; be respected j
bv tha wise and tlm food : frf-e from the tor- i
ture of a guilty conscience, the mortification
of repeated duns, and escape from falling
rirt thr olntflie r,f ' w viTs rhiMi i rn ami
the same thiD?. If vou are honest and I on-
orable men, you will go forth and pay tho
printer.
You will sot wait for to-mono?. it is but
a visi .nary receptacle for unredeemed prom
ises an addled eg in the great nest of the
future, and the debtor's hope aud the credi
tor's cur.se. If you are dishonest lew-minded
sous of Satan, I do not suppose you will pay
the printer, as you have no n putatiou to lose,
no character to sustain, no morals to cultivate
But Lt mo tell ycu, my friends, that if you
c'o it, your path to the to-ib will be strewed
with thorns; vou will have to gather your
food from brambles, your childreu wi'.l die cf i
dysentery, yourselves wi 1 never c j j the I
blesrUH's of health,
I once called upon a pick p
doctor hjl "iven ui. is a "t,i
ri' n "vbom th
him if he ha 1 made l i -i aee ith Ll
ktr
rri l Le
thought 1.2 ht '. i j'iire
if he L-1 f.iri'-'i Lis
1 VI". I thei. :.ke 1 !.
2 up.
t U: -
im if
I then i..tui
'A
ti.if.-s. He r i
1, l.n.l 1
. i 'it t-.r.
He hv.-itated a m -
ment. aud t'.-n sail L
i -u.-ht Le c-we-I him
fit": v t.tit. v hich Le
about twi"
dciircd .":.!d Lj piil before l.r give go 1
bvc tj tho
ately era.
w.-rli. His dciir-: wa iriiiiieli
i I. a:; 1 fr. v.: that in' :jitit Le
lecan e c- nva'-.-.-'cnt. He i cw livim?. i'A
tVi. t riiiTn. n it r :.r, 1 r ri rio r i' T i
at Leac uith Ll, jiUvi.-.w.-i-fGtd, auf
th; world.
L t
hi ll be at x.an t f r v .iu.uit fri-n-is
Patitiiize the ptict-.r. tk- hia j ap-r and pay
for it in advamv. and yc-ur days wii! b lerig
upn tl.-e : .r:h , cl orrrdwic? with the
hor.cy of l3ppine..
An I'nli"
c-aily occupi
out
T.aultr. Wh li indiffer- I
d, I was
approached Lt au in
hon I hi. 1 cl-jt-rvad
diirnaiil Euclihtnatl,
striding up and down in great wrath ; and Le
now, aripirc-nlly, sought me fjr the purpose
of unbesomiug himself, an 1 thus preventing
a dangerous explosion. H-' began by de
claiming -violently against the exorbitant
charges of all continental iuuS. anl the oue
whose hospitality we were enjoying in par
ticular. The immediate cause ot bi3 c-hoH,r
related to the Ixjujics, or wax caniles, he
had beeu forced to use the uight before. lie
abruntlv promised to teach me a leoson, anl
invited" mc ta fllo-w him. I did so
whin.
taking me. uy.:ctiouiy up to his room, aud
lockiisr every door. 1 e cautiously opened a
large hair trunk, and, emphatic-il'v pointing
down into itd depth;, sid "There 1"
Well V" I demanded, as 1 saw the trunk
was half full of partly burned iouits. aud I
not unreas'onabij- took him to bo a peripatetic
tallow-chandler, exhibiting specimens cf Lis
manufactures.
"Weil !J I repeated.
"Well' said he, "you see 1 do not let
them impose -upon me. Whenever at the inns
they charge the Laurie in the bill, I carry it
away vrith me."
A New Invention. Mr. Norman Wiard,
of Wisconsin, proposes to construct a water
tight iron beat, for the conveyance ot passen
gers and freight on i"cc, with greater safety,
economy anl fpesd Lh in cvi be done by any
other known means of transit.
These boats wiil entirely supersede the
necessity of railroads in winter, where built
parallel to rivers iu cold climates. The track
costs nothi-.tcr, and is kept in repair without
expense ; a depth of snow which wruld stop
a train "of car3 would make no vibibb im
pression ca the speed or progress of this ice
boat.
If the ice should fail, the Loat would rest
upon the wafer, aud by tbe p jwer ot the en
nines couii be launched upoc tha ice with
greater ease than a locomotive could bo re
placed upm the track when off. The boat
which I first propose to build, will be twelve
feet ia width by seventy feet in length, aud
wh?n resting upon tho water would displace
about one f Kit io depth. It wiil he propelled
by a pair of locomotive CDgines, acting cn a
single driving-wheel, to which adhesion is
civen
bv various devices.
IIo now wishes to obtab sufficient capital
enable bim to construct one of tte,-e boats
to enable bim -to construe: one oi ixese coats j ,iUS for th0 bcut fit he derived frciu an aiver
for immediate use on the Upper Mississippi, j tisment which recei'-'C 1 tws day's insertion.
Discv.Kzion irt'th as. Illustration. "Is the
sense of smelling more pleasing than that of
tasting ?" was the subject up before a western
debating c'ub in a bar room. Uncle Jeo
was the last to speak npen the negative, and
.It wrr ar.xinus to ii ar him deliver luui t.
Walking up -to
tha barkeeni-r he called for
hot whiskey .punch, and brack it oC W'.ta
great guto thpn turning to hhs (vppecent,
he handed the empty gliss to the l.sndiii.'
disputant, and thundered out "noir email
it. vou varmint!" It is needless to add that
Uncle Joe "brought down the heusa
nd
J also the decisis ijj.ttt bp gautf .
Only Tlffht.
flushed, how week. Le li, WLat'f
Hovf
the matter with him?
Only Tight!
Tight !'
Yes, intoxicated.
Only tight, Man's best anl gretst gC
his intellect, degraded,"- the only power that
raises him from the brute creatien, trodioa
under the foot of a debasing appetite.
Only tight I' Tbe mother stands with
pale face &ud tear dimmed eye to see her
only son's disgrace, and in her fancy pictures
the bitter cup of woe of which' this is the
foreshadowing, - ' - '
'Only tight !' The genllo sister, who
strongest love through lifh has been given to
her handsome, talented brother, shrinks
with contempt and disgust from his embrace,
an l brushes away the Let, impure kiss which
he has imprinted on her cheek.
Only tight ';', And the young bride
stops in tbe glad dance the is niakicg ta
meet hiin, and checks the welcome ou hot
I;PS S"22 in tcrror f u lLo reeiing form and
flushed faw of Li:n who was tho "god of her
idolatry.
Only ti-htl" And the father's face
grows dark and sad, and with a Litter sigh,
he stoops over tha aecselefts form of h s first
Lorn.
He has brought sorrow to all theso s.2"co
tionate heart.', be has brought himself down
to the level of biu'.es, he Las lasted tbe roU
ououi draught aaio, bj has fjih'ea fron bigb
and oobU marbood. to babling iliocy x4
heavy stupor, brought grief to kit mother,
distrust to Lin tiater, almost dispair t- his
bride, and bowed bis father's heai with or-
row, ibut
tight!"
biame Lini sot fjr Le is "oulj
Purmiij an jc'iijur. Gcor js Sel
LrjpcLltg t-j b- at I)th fthrn it rts.
Learly n.pty, i ludiccd. t r the i;jr pj
f oe ef hi; losr tl-ie, t ejl.ivnte the c-iuia-
tanoe v"
L?Vit of
'il ihv f
''.Hi Alj h-, i1 Q th
r..i ! i
'.! j
i j iL
io-1 Iii the L'ght
, Sc'wju c(.ouau.rl
Lii.' I .- via; iu St. J a -" t'ix.t. Ha
ti'.A.. led t-j pA.4i ut.:.u'.ietd, Lut io fata
t
t u.u i y a tec
; u.t:
r-piif J tb
l tee .".t
ie.AVt:. "j
m -.-t brpy
1 Y.u I ft to iiA'.L, I shall b
to Iwca; trjiA.uUi with js
i
Girt pain. BiatL
a aocticnsc:
f7 uU
give net
tho exDreijn of
trie cuuztnancd that wd!
cMti-J another, or
ivi'l tLriii of paia to Lt bjvjm' We ar
turrcuiidrd by nsitive h arts, which a word
a l ek tven. might fill tha brim with sorrow.
If y -u are earths.? of the rriniots cf otbarr
remember tual they are di3.-rcnt;y constitu.-
' ted from yeurstlf, and aevir. by word orti?u
i . .. .1 i - i i J . . fc
"ai buiuuw vu a uayinv neart. or thro
aside the smiles of joy that linger oq a plea
. . .
auk eumjuueuec.
XiT A Troy paper is responsible for this,
which strikes U3 as being good: The other
day, young man, decidedly inebriated, walk
ed into the Executive chamber and called fat
the Governor. "What da ycu want with
him?" mquirrd the Secretary. "Ob, I want
an ofnee with a good salary a sinecure.'
"Wc-li." replied the Secretary. "I can tell
you someiuing ueuer ior yoc thun a sinecure
j you had better try a cater curel A ne
iJJea seemed to bt;II:e tht -inebriate, snd he
I vai-jjsed."
J-iTMr
J.ne-
-T htt's a fit-e horso yoare
He carried List Lead very
loading, Patrick.
well,'
Pat 'That's thruo
he carries behind him"
An it's a gran-I tail
Jones 'Lc-Liud him! Everything 4
carries a tail cairies it b.hiaJ.-'
Pat 'No. your honer.
Jones 'No! What dou't V
Pat -'A cwit, sure it c?rrics is t til
cue tide, and its head on the other.'
on
Dead Head A freight car was npejaeii
at Benwcod, Ya , on Aturday. which ha-i
been kept closed since it left "Philadelphia,
near a week ago. No sooner was ibe door
opened than out jumped a young man, whe
took to Lis Leeds lii.e a grt-yhouca, w ithout
stopping to answer any questions An ex
amination showed that the traveler had pro
vided himself with enough of eatabl -s to keep
bim on a much longer trip than the one hs
maua.
Dr. Adam Clark, who had a ftxoag
aversion to puik, was calbd upon to say grace
at dinner, where the principal dish was roast
pig. He is reported to Lave said 'O Lord,
if thou canst bless under tha gospel what
Thou didst cursa under the law, bless this
piS-'
CfiL. An Ohio editor eays : "What can
be more captivating thau to see a beautiful
woman, say about fe-ur feet eleven inches
high, and clover -feet four inches 'in circum
ference, passing aloDg the aisle ust as divine
worship commences ?" - ;- ' .t
A writer in the New York Tribune f r-
j wa?ds to tfcat piper twenty dsllars,
,iUS for the bcut fit he derived frciu :
as a bo-
He sajs it was the best investment aa
ever
m-lsj Sensible man thu.
Said Tom "Since I have been abarit;
I have eaten s much veal that I a'n asham
ed to loo!; a ca'.f in the face." "I 'pose sir.
then, eaid a
wag who was present, "you
a glass."
phave without a
It is said to be diug-jrous ta bo wor
king with a sewing machine near a window
when there b "a thunder storm. It Is alas
very dangerous to sit near some sewing ma
chines whsa there is no thunder ctorux JL.
least, om havft'uni it so u
i1
mi
o O
O