if TUZ BtESStJ3 OF OVKRSMEKT, IIKE THE DEWS OP ""IEAVEN, SHOULD BK DISTB1BUTED ALIKE CTOS THE HIGH AND THE LOW, THE BICO ASD THK POOB. ' "' ' ' " ' " ' . m " ' i i . . . , , . , " . - - - i ' Vi i ' - . ' - Tf -"i - ii iii i i .i ! i r I: if t r 1, 1 5 i i m f j. I i i : if I, . i off t : I .nic i " H WIJ, e cfr rcd , A'l y f M r 1 part Urr.4 tiy f- e wilit ttr ' will) north; (r -thrc 1 C'lM u- i 2?.l G.li ctfully ell - DC EE ed H rpo, !y m'd surr? vrhk or cst r t ACKS, j tr! n SERIES. EBE1BURG, Pi., WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 19, 18-59. VOL. C NO. 9. ittt0ccllanfon0. "t- Phmnicle of & Traveler. I vmt ie cnp uu i ii 1 -n fi n!l in nnv r?prrrrA fri- f.jj veil Mi'J " J o ; the history of Mexico, that a reg-, p ; j-steaj of highway robbery exists in r J" section of that miserably governed ui , ., . .1 v. - .n : f " . ftJJU'tUHl lurougu a i a.uu vi luitl ic- ' "f v onthorities. this has drones for my transit through their country,' she laughed. "And you expect to cotttimle & repetition of the same for your life?" "Who knows," she replied. "At least I hope to be always prepared." "And your fellow travelers,' said I; "have you never seen disposed to resist these un lawful acts? nee, Senor, an American and an En glishliiaD'. who were in the same diligencia with me, fired upon the robbers, killing one and wounding two." "And did the robbers fire back?" "Yes, but fled immediately, and fortunate ly injured noue of our party." "As I should have expected,"'returned I. 't You were not robbed oa that occasion, I suppose?"' e were not, Senor; but the two foreign- grown up m -jeb a regular and formidable shape that .ir mst be preDared to nut his VtimliTQ .c.f vrt.a rAQil iclin ,t!ie event oi . - -..-6 makf their levy with a politeness- only .'l. bv the smiling landlord, when he 1 rmr ovci charred fare for vnur last i " l ' I n r I ITC Ml lil flJ!IT r f 1 1 " fccluturiiA Vrv ;-tstuu- .. ii ' i . ..i I T V l. .3 r 4.1. 1 .:ii-j alioweu II not Wltn i Juu' "J utii u.u luiiu, uutu were kiucu . t;.CI 111 EiTancoat leufi wuu rareiy any raier- fitatn JiscDpf those mystical matters which 5r ethers so pur.zles and perplexes the r3.... f.-.i-'iincr hut that such ia th fi etui -(.--. - - fTcrv traveler luruugu mai wrciuueu -irycan biar anipl testimony. 5,me vcars ao having business which first fj to t!:e Capital of Mexico, and thence -fb tb3 bterior of the country to the ;iiK3rJ, I wet with several thrilling aJ arcs, which I have recorded for the beu- of whomsoever may take an iuterest "j'.s, emitting only the dates, they being ;.f:ential to the interest of the narrations iselrcs. first of the serins occurred on the route :ea Vera Crnz aud the City of Mexico. 4 h regular diligencia running between the c itM nientioneJ, I had taken passage, Jid fwstd through the beautiful city of jpi. ad entered the gloomy town of Pc- without meotuig with any unusual m thoagh b.'ing continually warned to n my guird agaiust the dangers ol the At l'erote. where we halted tir a re- i e 1 . . . 11 . r.ii Ml reirci-ameiMS, an my it-'imw itassuu stf.i.k h-ave of mo, very solerauly assuring :bt. if assailed ty tha lad rones, or rob- it would be much better for me to take tors qu;.etly. and FufTcr myself to be gen x rluti'. red, than to run the liak of hav n.y throat cut for res-istance, as I bad ewbat boldly proclaimed was my intention oing. I thar.k.J thcni for their advice, . rppiW that I would take the matter into is consideration. l.Ferotp. I repeat, all who had been my isroas from Vera Cruz took leave of mo ih". tnl of their journey iu that but there was one cow pnssenjrur separate aud at diCercnt times, near the same I spot. You see these crosses by the side of the road, Senor?" j "I have observed them frequently, but ! here they seem to be more numerous," I re- Hich stands on the spot where some one has met a violent death," she rejoined; "and a9 we go along, I will call your attention to those which mark the places where the for eigners lost theirs." "Do you know," said I, "that I am resol ved to emulate their example, let the conse quences be what they may?" "Holy saints defend us !" she exclaimed ; "you are not ia earnest, Senor?" "Seriously so I assure you " "iTon would only bring certain death upon us both." . "Say, rather, I should lighten the expen ses of the journey for your knights of the road understand retreat an well as advance and you yourself have acknowledged that firm resistance put them to flight for once." "But there were numbers opposed to them Senor, and you are only one." "lut, fjrtunately, 1 have a couple of re volvers, which, in two good hands, amount to ten or a dozen shots; and my friends have repeatedly told me that I am not a bad marks man. " "Ah ! Snta Maria ! you will think better of tr.is, Senor the very idea of resistance terrifies me !"' ut not the idea of robbery?" "Because I never met with violence." Wo continued to converse in a similar strain for some time longer my fair com panion gradually changing the subject, and seeming much interested in myself. I iearn- t ed that her family name was v alerde, that ' fdie was unn-.prried, that her father and I trot her were olasers in the army, ana so forth, and so on; and in return 1 gave her ; my name, stated something of my history, businefS aud prospects, and altogether became more communicative than I would advise any friend to bo with any stranger of either sex in a strange country. As we continued our journey, the conver sation gradually changing from one thing to another, Senonta Faul suddenly brought it back to the point where it first started. "We are coming upon a very dangerous part of the road." she said, "are you still re solved to defend yourself if assailed: "With your permission, Senorita." "I don't think it advisable," sho replied, "but still if such be your intentiou, I think it no more than right that you should give ;nc a chance to take part in my defence, since my risk of danger will be as great as yours. "And have you really the nerve, after all, to defend yourself ? I inquired. "If I had the means, Senor," "I have two pistols," said I; "if you wil accept one of them, it is at your disposal." "You are very kind, Senor but can I fire it?" "With case, Senorita;" and producing one of my revolvers. I explained to her the man ner in which it wato be used. "And this you say, will shoot some half a dor.cn tnies?" I think it safe to calculate that five char ges out of six will explode, Senorita." "A very formidable weapon, indeed !" she replied; "and with such 1 can almost fancy we ore Fafe. You have another, you say, like this?" I produced it. "What a beautiful invention !" she obser ved, reaching over and taking it from my hand. Then extending her hands, one of the revolvers in each, she continued ; "arm ed like this, one might almost consider him self safe agaiost a host! You say it is fired in this manner?" she proceeded, cocking one of the weapons as she spoke, and pointing it towards the road "Have you a care, Senorita, or you will "Hold!" she exclaimed, instantly present one of my own revolvers at my head. "Re sistance ia Useless you are my prisoner." "Good God!" exclaimed I perfectly as tounded. "Our prisoner did he say? Is it not possible that one so fair and lovely as yourself, can be in any way connected with these banditti?" "It is even so, Senor," sho replied with ore of the most bewitching smiles, still keep ing one of my own weapons turned against myself, and significantly pointing the other to the door. You will oblige me by Etepping forth and giving yourself into the care of those good gentlemen, who will see that your treated as a brave man should be, but who will trouble you in the meantime, for any lit tle change or valuables yotf nfay" have to spate!" There seemed no help for it the beautiful Sonorita Paula Valerde was a spy and an ac complice of the ladrones. She had entered me uuigeoco 01 x croie ior no otner purpose than to ascertain the exact state of things in side, and be able to signalize her associates as she passed along, so that they might know exactly in what manner to conduct them selves, and make the work sure without risk. By a simple stratagem she had obtained my arms, just at the poiut where she knew the attack would bo made; and the discharge of the pistol, as if by accident was the signal to show them that all was secure "I acknowledged myself conquered by be ing outwitted. l said bowing to la benor-ita. Then turning to the robbers, who had col lected in a body, in front of the door of the terly, "ho laughs best who laughs last!" The next moment I was dashing away down the road, the half-ralied robbers pour ing after me a volley," but fortunately not touching their mark. They would have fol lowed mc doubtless, in hot pursuit, but for the wholesome dread they had of the still un discharged weapon. As it wa3 I escaped, and entered the town of Puebla in triumph; where it is almost needless to aid a narra tive of my exploit made me a hero and a lion for a time. ' Here I sold my captured mustang and trappings for enough to indemnify me for what I had disposed of in the way of presents and the next day saw me an inside passenger of the same diligencia" en route'Jor Mexico, where I arrived in safety, without any other event worthy .of note " . - What became of the robbers and their beautiful accomptico I never learned; but the losson taught me on that journey I have not forgotten; and during the remainder of my stay in that country, no pretty women ever had the honor of being my business confi dante, or of getting possession of my trusty and unfailing revolvers. i;ng to go forward, whom ti ray agreeable ol f und to be a bcautiiul young lady twenty years of age. jtcnti raula. os L sut..cquently ascor- d her name to be, was indeed ono of nre 1 eauties seldom met with except in is of fiction tall, graceful, with a pro- a of long black hair soft, clear, melting features as perfect as ever came from aws of the sculptor, and with tn ani- to; the most fascinating, varying in ex- 'ma wirh every chancing mood of the ui'Ctaal possessor. A glance at her be ;IZ dnrk eyes showed mo that she was tt'wwas naturally of a social disposition; i?e rattled away from the gloomy town v4c liberty of opening a conversation. Jifj tell me," said I, "that the route feahcre and Mexico is a very dangerous f to travel " "Ihsre is little to fear," she replied, with eet trail'! an! in a raclodiou.3 voice, "cx- frooj the professional robbers, and they oa harm any one who makes no resis- It teem? strango to mc," I rejoined, -it joa Mexicans should take such things natter of course, and dem resistance a 7 polite way of treating the knights of ral, instead ot boldly asseniug your and abating the evil by a mauly spirit "'lacc. For myself, 1 must consider iacst cowardly of proceedings, for any "-able party to set out prepared to qui- j fiufy the cupidity of the ladrones, and :tyartd to treat them to their just de- Every traveler, Sf-nor." she replied, ;u!J, before setting out, count ihe cost of joarcey, and of course value his life J, it seems tome natural that he should 1 certain sum for positive safety rather pit life in jeopardy. For instance in a; trom era Cruz to iMexico. it he -Rckon that so much is the fare of the ?&ria, and that so much will be required K'-ma'iDrcent on the way, and so much couicgency you speak of, he will 11 Ur tlm exact cost between the two &r,J if he will look at the whole sum Lis ionrnpw tin trill not to be 1t any one tarty more than the The words were scarcely uttered when her f finrrpr nressed the triTrcr. and one of th "That ." T rpri;.l mnh T L.llovo i loads was exploded with a sharp report. A .' , J 1 - i - , .. -r - , .,. 4? Xf'fln TY AIn Jin lt.i-i r-r-i' Vit.fr JnAfl discharge it ! .Mith the preconceived ideas of us 'Pi-i.n EVerv rnn " i-nril!.,? h filr rua!r4r J -, .VIJ44V.V " J I V5"1 conform to the custom of the coun- visits." l do you then go prepared for this "'lJ robbery? and have you no fear in ?jSJ eying by yourself r ' aecor. what pan I do' 1 am as ifttive an unnrnptfl who. for r j , -- , teaj-Ong. am rennlrod tn make the 'J between Pcrote aud the Capital some toiiiT tr'ce a 6&r' anc yu certa'n" . Cot CTTiPPt. inn f f Vw rvrnnnro.l tn In . j i ... i 1 -w ... k i nana! As to tear, I will , J 1 have my Bhare of that; but, so 4Uve ttpvcF :.u L 4 4 , -w4 4u v v nuu auy rvugu n ruv t-ni of course I trust to the saints that ".'iT iU ever be as propitious." 3 back and forth?" I inquired. 'u I DIVA Tli1 mv cliorrt a 4 7t- J iiuui w w auv w our minute after, aud while I was chiding her, we heard a loud, quick tramp of horses, and several sharp rapid exclamations. The next moment our conveyance was stopped sud denly and we Eaw ourselves surrounded by some eight or ten mounted men, one of whom iu a loud voice exclaimed : "Yield you prisoners or die!" "Quick, Senorita!" said I, extending my hand; "quick! in heaven's name; give me one of those weapons 1 now is the time for decisive action ! " "Nay," she replied putting the weapons behind her; "you will be too hasty! Let them suppose we yield let them open the door?" - "Oh no it will then be too late." As I epoko the door was suddenly thrown open, and three or four 6wartby, heavily bearded men presented tbemselvcB to my view. "Quick, Senorita, for the love ofGod!" I cried grasping at her arm. dillisencer, I continued "Gentlemen will you permit me to alight and make you some valuable presents? In the language of your country all I have is yours.' Ihe leader of the party bowed politely in return, and said with grim smile: Senor we will be most happy to re- ccive anyttiing which so uittingui&hed a travell er may have to bestow. W ith this 1 quietly stepped from the vehi cle and one quick, searching glance put me in possession of the whole state of affairs. The dilirencia had been stopped in a wild. eloounr place, and the driver was sittini? care lessly ou his box, taking every thing as a matter of course. He might also be an ac complice of the-robbers, or he might not, but in either case, there was but httle hope of as sistance from him any attempt of the kind would certainly bring upon him a severe pun ishment, sooner or later. I glanced up and down the road; where it wound between dark overshadowing trees, but discovered nothing to give mc any hope. The robbers some ten or a dozen in number, and all armed, were collected around me. part of them mounted and the others standing on their feet holding mustangs by the bridle. Looking upon my case as a desperate one, so far as being plun dered was concerned; 1 still retained my pres ence of mind, and did not wholly despair True I had been outwitted and disarmed, and now stood singly between numbers; but the idea of yielding tamely to chis outrage was repugnant to my very nature, and I resolved to put the least favorable opportunity for de fense and retaliation to the strongest test. "Will you accept this purse?" said I, pro ducing one that held several gold coins, and handing it to the chief of the lailronc "Thank you, Senor! you are very kind!" he said, as he took it in his hand, with a po lite bow, and chinked the money "This dimond pin may prove acceptable to your friend!"' I added, as I quietly removed it from the bosom of my shirt, and handed it to the gentleman on his left who received it in the same polite manner. This dimond ring I trust you will retain as a keepsake!" I con tinued, drawing the jewel from my finger, and presecting it to a third. "I beg your pardon, Secores," I pursued glancing at Sen orita Paula, who with my pistols still in her possession, was quietly standing with the dil igencia regarding the whole proceedings with one cf her sweetest smiles. "I must not for get this beautiful lady; I have here," I went on, at the same time producing the article, "a very beautiful gold snuff box set, as you perceive, with dimonds will your ladyship nonor me by accetping this as a slight token j of my legard for the pleasure afforded me by i your company and conversation?" "You arc a very gallant gentleman, Se nor!" she laughed, taking the two rovolvers in one fair hand, and presenting the other. I reached the box toward her but my hand trembled a little and just as the pres ent was about to touch her fingers, it slipped and fell between us. "A thousand pardons, Scnorati, for awk ardness!" I said, as I bent down to pick it up. Now was the all important moment the moment of life and death! All were in a measure off their guard, and ono quick, fur tive glance showed me that the girl still held my weapons in one hand, with the other re maining extended for the prfte. I lifted the box carefully; but as I raised myself, I gave a wild, startling yell: and as the Senorita started back, I with the quickness of light ning seized both weapons and wrenched them from her. To wheel and commence firing upon the patty was now only the work of a moment. The first shot, fortunately, stretched, out tbo chief; the second shot took eEect on the near est to him; and by the time the third had been sent toils mission, there arose one simultane ous yell of dismay, and the astounded rob bers began to scatter in every direction, I bad no disposition to follow them, however another minute they might rally and turn up on me; and springing forward I grasped the reins of a freed mustang, and vaulted into the saddle. Ono more glance around aie showed the Senorita Paule, ' upon the body of the chief, her laughter changed to grief, and some of the scattered cowards brinigng their weapons to bear upon me. "Adica Senortia and St-norc.?!" said I, bit- POOK, RICHARD'S MAXIM'S The following from the great .American phil osopher. Dr. Franklin, should be printed in letters of gold, and hung up in every school room, side by side with the usual a b ah, doer Lattin, and other nonsense with which our children's minds nre cramed, and which seems to be the rule in our modern system of tuition. There will como a tiaie when a Professor ship of Political Economy will be considered an absolute necessity to every school But that time is not yet. At present wo have nothing but profusion and shameful waste ou tho one hand, while abject poverty, mean ness of spirit, and total carelesness are too much observable on the other. These are the two extremes which characterize our prt-s ent false state of things in a physical point of view: all laid to the score of false training, from the highest to the lowest. But hear what Poor Bichard says: 1. Plow deep whilo sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and to keep 2. Pride is as loud a beggar as want, and a great deal more saucy, 31 Silks and satins, scarlets and velvets, put oat the kitchen fire. 4. Diligence is the mother of good luck. 5. Pride breakfasted with Plenty, dined with Poverty, and supped with infamy. C. Extravagance and improvidence and at the prison door. 7 It is easier to build two chimneys than to keep one in fuel. 8. If you would know the value of money go and try to borrow some. G. The eye of the roaster will do more work than both his hands. 10. Whatmantaina one vice will bring up two children. 11. He that goes borrowing returns sor rowing 12. Bather go to bed supperless than to rise in debt. 13. Sloth, like rust, commences faster than labor wears. 14. A life of leasure and a life of laiiness are two different things. 15. Three removes are as a fire. 10 Creditors have better memories thai debtors. 17. The roling atone gathars no moss. 18. If you would have your business done go; if not, send. 19. It is foolish to lay out money in the purchase of repentance. 20. Buy what thou necdest not, and it will oblige thee to sell thy necessaries. The Midshipman's Three Dinners. I do not think there is any harm in putting the following story on redord. It was told me, many years ago, by the hero of it, my very valued friend, Captain (afterwards Ad miral Sir Francis) Beaufort. The oddity of the circumstance struck mc so much, that I remember the details, almof-t the phrases. We were talking of a midshipman, s appetite as a thing which bears a high character for energy and punctuality, and Captain Beaufort said it had never been fully tried how many dinners a midshipman could eat in one day "I," said he "got as far as three." I . beg. ged to know the particulars, and he gave tlum rs follows. "I had eaten my dinner at the midshipman's table, and a very good one, as t always did. ' After it the captain's sist. steward came up. and said, 'The captain's j compliments, and desires the favor of your company to dinner.' 'But I've uaed, said I. -For mcrcy'a sake, don't say that sir,' said he, 'for lhhallbe in a scrape if you do. I ought to have a.ked yuu this morning but I forgot.' So I thought I must go; and two hours afterwards I did go, and I dined, and I think I made my usual good dinner. Just as we rose from the table, a signal was made by tho admiral to Send an officer on board, and, as it was my turn, I had to go CiT iu the boat. When I get on beard the admiral's ship the admiral sail to tnc ,Ah, Mr. Beaufort Mind Tour Stops. Do not "stop' at thd bar room. Merry laughter may ring out from it 8S you pass by, and voices of friends may call you to cuter. Within, it may shino brightly with ligb thrown back from polish ed mirrors, end gleans from "crystal bottles, and the voices of mirth and gaity may be heard there; but 'slop' not; there is danger in its b.-ightness. Thokc gleaming bottles con tain potions that lead to poverty, dishonor aud death. The merriment there, is thia laughter of fools and may end ih the horrible laughter of the maniac. -Avoid it, by it, turn from it. and pass away.' Do cot 'stop' at the gambling house. Those clcse ehutters conceal treacherous fascina tions, you may find yourself too weak to re- I believe?' 'Yes, sir ' said I. 'Well Mr. Beaufort,' said be, ' tho papers you are to take back will not be ready this half-hour; but I am just sitting down to dinner, and shail be glad of your company. Now, you know, as to a midshipman refusing to dine with the admiral, there are not the words for it ia the naval dictionary. So I sat down to my third dinner, and I am sure I did very well; aud got back to my own ship just in time for tea." JS'utes and Queries Ltttinj the cut out. A cute Yankee adver tised that what is styled the "humbuggery of Spiritualism" would be outdjne last evening at the City Hall, '-by letting the cat out of the bag"' admission five cents. At an early hour the house was crowded, a goodly portion be ing women, The lecturer commenced and the audience was hushed to perfect stillnesa, After making a few rcmaiks very brief in deed the lecturer took from beneath the desk a bag, and, ripping it open, ont popped a large cat, which, equalling and spittinj, made a spring among the audience, The ap plause that Lurat forth was tremendous, amidst Muddling a Justice. Josh was brought before a country squire for stealing a hog, and three witnesses being examined, sworn that they saw him steal it. A wag having volunteered as counsel for Josh, knowing tho scope of the squire's brain, aroso and addres sed him as follows : "May ii please your honor, I can establish this man's innocence beyond the shadow of & doubt; for I have twelve witnesses ready to swear that they did not see him steal it." The squire rested his head for a few mo meuts upon Lis hand, as if in deep thought, and then with great dignity arose, and brush ing back his hair, said : "If there are twelve that did not see him steal it, and only three that did, I discharge tho prisoner Clear the room 1" How to Punch a Man. "Judge, you say if I punch a man in fun, he can take me up for assault and battery?" "Yes, sir, I said that, and what I say I repeat. If you'punch a man you are guilty of a breach of the peace, and can bo arrested for ii." "Ain't there no exceptions?" "No. sir, co exceptions whatever. "Now, Judge. I guess you aro mistaken suppose, for instance, I should brandy punch him, whet then "No levity in court sir this man to the atmosphere case. Sheriff, exposo Call the next which our Yankee took walked out of the ball: bis bat and coolly He bad fulfilled his promise the cat had been latout of tho bag and his money was fairly earned. The la dies, we understand, did not take the joke so j good-naturedly as the men, snd fron: the irate I "See there?1 ' exclaimed a returned Irish soldier to a gaping crowd, as he exhib ited, with great exultation, his tall hat with a bullet hole iu it; "look at that hole, will you? Ycu see that if it had been a low crowned hat, I should have been kilt out right! spirit manifested by some, it is more than probable, that if they could have got him in their power there would have been a fine ex hibition of what women can do wheu their dander is, fairly arroused. While this hura buagcr was jingling his pocket full of coiu and laughing iu hU sleeve, the humbugged slowly left the hall with the air and folding of those who Lave been decidedly "Eold." Portland Advertiser. But the shot is in the back of the hat" ob served a bystander. "Och, to be sure," replied Paddy, ''hem' in a hurry, I had turned the back in front." 4 Had you your knapsack in front, too. Paddv," tail another. "I sec a bullet-hola there?" Paddy vmaosed. Genuine Pools. He who wipes his nos ou a nutmeg grater, and picku his teeth with a razor. She who says "no," to a proposal of a gen- A Good Name. Scene in Court. A few days ago. a man who had been bound over on a serious charge of assault and bat tery, offered as his bail a very rough-looking customer, whom he introduced as "Judge Barnes, of Delaware county." The follow ioe dialogue will explain matters : "Well, Mr. Murphy, you say you wish to give bail; pray, who is your man?" "Judge Barues. of Delaware county." "And who is Judge Barnes, of Delaware county?" "As respectable a man, sir, as you'll find north of Mason & Dixon'a line." "Is there any one here who knows him?' "Yes, sir; Mr. Wilson. "Mr. WiLon, do you know Judge Barnes of Delaware county?" "Yes, sir." "What is he?" "A Judge." "Indeed I How long has ho been upon the bench?" "Some twenty-two years." "Possible? It is very singular that we never heard of him. You are certain ho is a Judge?" "Yes, sir." "When did you last sec him act as such?" "On Monday night, at O'Brien's cock-pit, Passyunk road." "By Judge, then, you mean that he de cides chicken disputes?'" "les, sir." "But you said he had been twenty-two years on the bench. What do you expect me to understand by that?" "That Mr. Barnes is a cordwainer, and has been a maker of brogans sinco 1834." At the conclusion of this testimony, the magistrate came to the conclusion that "Judge Barnes, of Del. co." was not just the person to give vitality to a thousand dollars bail bond, and the prisoner was incontinently sent below. Queer places these police courts. If you doubt it, spend a morning at the office of Recorder Enue, after a delegate election or a firemen's riot. Phil. North American. Some time in 1838 or '30, a gentleman in Tennessee became iuvolved aud wanted mon ey; he had property and he owed debts His property was not available judt then, aud off be posted to Boston backed by the names of the best men in Tennessee Money was tight and Boston bankers looked closely at the names. "Very good," said they, "but but do you knew General Jackson?" "Cer tainly.'" Could you get his endorsement?" Yes, but he is cot worth one-tenth as much .is either of these meu whose names I offer you." "No matter, General Jackson has always protected himself and his paper, and we'll lei you have the money upon the strength of his name" In a few days the paper with his signature arrived. The moment the Bos ton gentlemen banksrs saw the tall A, and the long J, of Andrew Jackson, our Tennes sean says be could have raised a hundred thou sand dollars upon the signature without the 'slightest trouble. So much for an established charcetcr for houesty However men may have differed with Andrew Jackson political ly, no man could deny him the merit of being au liouust mac. Evening Gazette. tleman when she has reached the age ofthir- ty. He who gets eo druck at night that he puts his clothes to bed and hangs himself on the back of a chair. She who rubs her cheeks with brickbats in order to give them color. He who puts on his bat, and takes his cane and starts cut in pursuit of an honest and disinterested polatician. She who pinches and slap3 a chili to make it quit bawling Punch. man short Here is a copy of an original letter pick ed up iu one of the streets of Des Moines out West: "des Moines iowanov.12, 1S57 my Dear miss the pleasing prospect I have of takiug you out a slaying the first good snow that comes is enough to lift my sole above the sordid vanities of this whorld with such an intelligent young lady as you are. yours in love purity and fidelity E.S ." A friend asked a Dutchman what kind of a Winter be thought we should have. The Dutchman drawing himself up with an air of philosophical equanimity, and an oacular saap of the eyoj said; "I think she will be werry cold dis Winter or werry hot ouo of them both." STTbo widow of Hclvctus said to Napo leon Yon cannot conceive how much happi ness can bo found in three acres of land." A rebuke to his ambition. A Fearful Situation. A young named Lister, who was sojourning, a time ago, at St. Bees, took a stroll on tho bluff headlands, which all our readers are ac quainted with if ever they have sailed to Liver pool; known by the name of St. Bees' Head. His footing", as he contemplated the gulf bclo-v slightly gavo way, the shingle sliped, and he slid dowu about seven yards, when he caught a ledging of the rock with both his bauds. Jn this perilious position he remained three hours, suspended over a rocky chasm, thirty yards d'ep. His cries attracted the attention of a student, who was providentially walking on the beach below and tho gentlemau im- ! rueadiately called out to the man to keep his i hold, and, throwing off his gown, hastned to the nearest house for a rope, which he lowered from the top Both of Lister 6 hacus being engaged, he wr-s only able to avail himself of the rope with his mouth; nnd not till be had grasped it firmly between his teeth did he relcas his hands. He was then drawn up to the top, and his miraculous escape was a theme of rejoicing both ' to himself and his preser ver. : JI-Landlord "Mr, Editor, . I'll thank you to say I keep the best table in the city.' Editor "I'll thank you to supply my family with board gratis." Landlord "I thought v)u wera glad to get something to fill up your paper," Editor I thought you were glad to feed ineu for uothiug," It's a poor rule that won't work both ways. Exit landlord iu a rage threatcuing to have uothing more to do ...:.u .. . rn.. j Willi 1 41 0 U4UVV. An Irish servant observing her mistress foeding a pet female canary, vsked "How long it took ihem craters to batch? Three weeks,' was the reply Och! shure, that is the same as any other fowl, except a pig.' Su""An Irishman near Boston, becoiniug greatly alarmed recently at the severity of the thunder and lightning fell suddenly upon his knees, exclaming; 'O Lord, forgive cs, and stap this.' One of the dcacous of a certain church asked the bishop if he uua!l kissed the brido at weddings. "Always," was the reply, "And how do you manage when the happy pair are negroes?" was the next question. "In all such cases," replied the bishop, -'the doty of kis sing is appointed to the deacons" JEyA witty dentist, having labored in vain to extricate a decayed tooth from a lady's mouth, gave up the task with a feliticious ap ology, "The fact is, madam, it is impossible for anything bad to come from your mouth." t-IlEN"UY YIH, after tho death of Jane Seymour, had some difficulty to get anoihsr wife. His first offer was to the Duchess of Milan; but her answer was. "She had but one bead if she had two; ono should have been at his service." By doing good with his money, a inaa, as it were, stamps the image of God upou it. and makes it pass current for the merchandize of heaveu. v D
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers