VOI XXXIX iThe Modern Store's! I * CHRISTMAS SHOPPING LIST. | 8 Gifts for Grandparents, Parents, m 5 Sisters, Brothers, Sweethearts, 5 Children and Everybody. m We invite your attention to this list because it ff 3 will be helpful to you in your annual predica- K W ment of selecting just the right thing. This is m Ik v fl prices on every article in this store, that there M V will be an opportunity for you to get everything Uk tj! n you want at money-saying prices. Whether (K ready to buy or not, come to our See us a 1 'before you buy.| % Gifts lor Women and Girls. & U Silk or Wool Dress patterns, Fine|Linen Napkins. Bed Spreads, Qk |n Silk or Wool Waist Patterns, E? ne Blankets, A Handkerchiefs, Fancy NecKwear, E lae Satine Comforters, 5# fO Kid Gloves, Golf Gloves, Mittens, P™« ? Fine Perfumery and Toilet M Belts, Pocketbooks, Chatelaines, Articles.Fancv Cushions, Jpt 6 Wrist Bags. Neck Ruffs, F,ne Holiday Umbrellas, M Sash Pins, Hat Pins, P? ess Hats. Fine Hosiery, M X Brooches, Rings, Silver and Ebony Manicure Sets, JK Sterling Silver Manicure Pieces, Silver and Ebony Brush and Comb V Fur Scarfs. Fur Muffs, Sets, Toilet Sets, Glove Boxes, #, Flannel Shirt WaisU, Handkerchief Boxes. V, ork Boxes, ST £ Silk Shirt Waists, Triplicate Mirrors, Hand Mirrors, X K Dressing Sacques. Dress-Skirts, §!? ver Ebony Hair BrpshM, U Fine Under akirts. Knit Shawls, Silver and Ebony Cloth Brushes, U K Golf Vests. Fine Wool Underwear, Silver and Ebony Bonnet Brushes. Sp Muslin Underwear, BURXED WOOD ARTICLES: 1m JO Flannelette Night Robes, Bread Plates, Nut Bowls, £/ 0 Fine Linen Towels, Plate Rack, Placques, # S Fine Table Linen, Candelabrum, etc. a 3 Gifts for Men and Boys. ' $ « Neckwear, Shirts, Collars, Cuffs, Smoker Sets, Shaving Sets, S flr Linen and Silk Handkerchiefs, Silver and Ebonv Cloth Brushes, (R yj Mufflers, Way's Mufflets, Hat Brushes.Military Hair Fancy Half-Hose. Cotton, Lisle, Brushes, Desk Sets, R Cashmere; Sftk Suspenders, Hair Brush Sets, Comb Sets, Umbrellas, Fancy Night Robes, Silver Match Boxes, K Full Dress Protectors, Fancy Cushions, Uk Cuff Buttons, Scarf Pins, Burned Wood Pipe Racks, JK Shirt Studs, Watch Fobe. Beer-Stein; Uk Silk Garters.Collar &Cnff Boxes, Gloves—Kid, Mocho, Cashmere Handkerchief Boxes, and Golf; Wool Underwear, jp) Neck-Tie Boxes, Leather Suit Cases, etc. Gifts for Children. * Dolls, Children's Dinner and Tea Fur Sets, Dress Patterns, Sets, Golf Gloves, Kid Gloves, Kid Handkerchiefs, Underwear, jpt Mittens, Necklaces, Beauty Pins, Stockings, Hats, etc. Co., $ SOUTH MAS! STREET ) AA4 j* nana. r £.2\ a 'l Orders Solicited £ POSTOFFICE BOX ) 1 tr OPrOSITE HOTEL ARLINGTON. BUTLER, PA. EYTH BROS' Late Fiction SI.OB. Big line of Bibles. Magnificent line of Pictures & Medallions. Big line 1903 Calendars and Diaries. Toys at Cost. Ask about Piano Contest. eyra sros., NEXT TO P. 0. BUTLEB, PA. Bickers. The time of the year is here when you want to purchase your WINTER FOOTWEAR. Our stock of BOOTS, SHOES, RUBBER and FELT GOODS is complete. Large stock of Gokey's high cut hand-pegged shoes, Gokey's high-cut copper toe shoes for Boys and Waterproof Shoes for Girls. NOVEMBER PRICE LIST Ladies' Fine Dongola Patent Tip Shoes, $1.50 grade, .at $1 00 Old Ladies' Warm Lined Shoes at 85 Men's Fine Embroidered Slippers at 40 Ladies' Whole Btock Waterproof Shoes at 1 75 Misses' Whole Stock Waterproof Shoes at 1 40 Men's Good Kip Heavy Sole Box Toe Shoes at 2 25 Ladies' Fine Trimmed Juliet Slippers at 00 FELT AND RUBBER GOODS Men's Coon Tail Excluder Knit Boots and Heavy Duck Rolled Edge Overs. .|2 50 Men's Russian Felt Boots and Heavy Duck Rolled Edge Overs 2 50 Men's Gray Felts and First Quality Overs 1 75 Boys' Gray Felts and First Quality Oyers 1 05 Youths' Gray Felts and First Quality Overs 1 25 Men's Rubber Boots 2 25 Ladies' Rubber Boots .. 1 25 Men's Buckle Arctics 1 00 Complete stock of German stockings and rolled edge rubbers. Large stock of Ladies', Gents', Misses' and Children's Leggins and Overgaiters at reduced prices. High Iron Stands with four lasts for repairing at 50c. Sole Leather and Shoemakers' supplies of all kinds. Repairing promptly done. JOHN BICKEL, 128 South Main St., BUTLER, PA. KECK Fall& Winter Weights R Have a nattiness about thera that J] V-A f /'"vKV mark the wearer, it won't do to IJVV / J ' // wear the last year's output. You pf [* \ IHS) /J won't get the latest things at the . 'if XL J \ y"\ stock clothiers either. The up-to- ' y/ \ pj t"< Cdate tailor only can supply them, . A [/ \jV [J fS if you want not only the latest | 1/ V s TTTTr I things in cut and fit and work- i I I \> l/7Ttf I rrLonship, the finest in durability, ,1 I ill I where else can you get combina- i j 1 L 111 tlons, you get them at JU } I L Hill* KECK G. F. KECK, Merchant Tailor, 42 North Main Street All Work Guaranteed Butler, Pa THE BUTLER CITIZEN. NdSdl CATARRH mM'h In all ita itAges. x J-Uj)M Ely's Cream e'e»r.«e«, soothes and heals { y m the diseased merohrane. I 11 enrea catarrh and drive* M »'A-( away a cold in the head quickly. | Creazn Balm is placed tatt> th* *o6siU, spreads I over the membrane and is absorbed. Reief is In mediate and a cure follows. &ia not drying—doea not produce sneering. Large Size, W cenU at Bscg gists or by Tr>*ii; Trial Size, 10 cent*. Lv 14 ll M Johnston's pj ► Beef, Iron and Wine jf^ Best Tonic'' kl ► and [ S < Blowl Purifier. kl ► Price, 50c pint. f M t Prepared and W A W sold only at J Johnston s b»1 » Crystal i« < Pharmacy. H ► B. 51. LOGAN, Pb. 0.. i Manager, fp + Both 'Phones vi Everything in the ► drug line. J A Just Arrived Early Fall Goods In Latest Coronation Suitings; Also Black and White Novelties. Wedding Suits a Specialty. Call and examine before leaving your order for suit. COOPER, Leading Tailor, With Newton, Piano Man. THE MOST IMPORTANT question of the day is why Newton, "The Piano Man" can sell a bfetter piano for less money than anyone else in Western Pennsylvania. He represents the wealthiest manu facturers of Pianos. You pay direct to thein for all the Pianos. The expense of selling them is $75: less than the ordinary retail man and you H&TO his profit, which means to you $175 saved. Prices from $'.250 to $1,51)0—10 per cent off for cash. All pianos fully warrant ed. My customers aro my reference. Ask them. Call and see me and let me explain our easy payment plan. Your credit is good. NEWTON "THE PIANO MAN" 317 S. Main St. Butler Pa Pearson B. Nace's Livery Feed and*SaleStable Rear of Wick House! Butler. Penn'a. The host of Itnr.sPH and first class riRS al ways on hand and for hire. U«'st accommodat ions In town for perma nent boarding and transient trade. Speci al care guaranteed. Stable Room For 65 Horses. A eood c ass of horses, both drivers and draft horses always on hand and for sale under a full gu&rauteo; and horses bough Don proper notification bv PEARSON B. NACE, Telephone No. 21V. BUTLER, PA..THUKSDAY, DECEMBER, 18 1902 I BOW BABOUSHKA | , 1 | FOUND THE f | |l CHRIST CHILD |l TV NIGIIT was falling fast, and the snow was piled high against the outer walls of the hovel where n poor raou jik (peasant) named Kato ma lay dying in a little village in far away Russia. Katoma knew that he was going to die. It was Christmas eve, but there wiyt no gladness in the season for him. His wife, whom he had loved very (Jjprly, was already gone. For three consecutive years now his crops had f;iiled. A few weeks before the wolves had devoured his last cow. If he had been entirely alone in the world he would have said to deafh, "Come; thou art welcome!" •Rut there was one other, his boy Gssip. The idea, of deatli became ter rible when lie thought of leaving his boy all alone with not a copeck to biess Wmself with. When I tell you that it takes 100 copecks to make a ruble and that a yible is less than CO cents, you will Understand how dreadfully poor Ka <oma was. lie could not die peacefully for think tag of Ossip's future. His dim eyes turned fondly toward the pillow by his side, which the boy's thick black hair almost covered. Ossip lay motionless in sleep. The sick man put one feeble hand upon his boy's smooth forehead and silently commended him to heav en's care. The house was very still. The hour was late. Ossip's healthy, regular breatiiinn was the only audible sound. If only kind heaven would raise up one St-iend for his boy out of the millions of good people this big world swarmed with, Katoma felt that he should not mind how soon he was laid away un der the fro •••n sods. While his hand rested on Ossip's head and his heart was filled with these anxious thoughts the door of the hovel opened softly. The moujik turned wondering eyes in that direc tion, and there, coming noiselessly to ward him across the beaten earthen flotfr, was a tall woman with soft brown eyes full of pitying tenderness. She came close to the bed, on Ossip's side of it, and, looking down upon the sleeping child, she muttered: "Rcrhap's this is the one at last." Katoma looked at her anxiously. "Whence came you, good mother, ftOd what seek you?" Across the sleeping boy she an swered softly: "I have come for Ossip. They told me in the village that thy days were rfurubercd, and I knew that Ossip jrould need a friend. I will love and "I IJAVE COME FOll OSSU'." care for him as though he were my very own. I am called Raboushka, and 1 keep my promises." Then Katoma, the moujik, died hap py, for he knew that Raboushka was u friend to all little children, and when she gathered Ossip closo into her moth erly arms when the end came the child teased weeping for his dead father. When Raboushka and Ossip were well on their wtfy to the old woman's home, in the next village, they heard a pitiful sound of weeping somewhere on the tree shadowed side of the road. The oldwoman stopped at the sound. "We will go and see who is In trou ble, Ossip. Our eyes and ears should always be kept well opened so that no sign of distress may escape us." Guided by the sound, they came to a stone where, walling and shivering In tho darkness of the winter night, fifty found a little girl scarcely as large as Ossip, who was not at all well grown for his eight years. Raboushka knelt down by the child und, gathering her cold little feet into n warm clasp, muttered: "Perhaps this Is the child." Then she said aloud, "What Is thy name, little one, and what doest thou here alone In the bitter nighttime?" AX which the child's tears ilowed afresh, and between her sobs she told the kind, soft eyed woman how she had been traveling with a great com pany of men and women who were loavlng their own village to seek a bet ter land across the seas our own 1 blessed America, I make no doubt ed how, when they had encamped for the night, her aunt, who was the only relative she had in the world, had sent her Into the woods to gather fagots to put under their soup kettle, and how she had wandered no far that she had not been able to" find her way back to tfce camp, and how she feared the wolves would devour her before any ojje should come to look for her. Then she told Raboushka that her name was Vasalissa. Raboushka clasped the little wander- her great motherly heart. "That, indeed, the wolves shall not. my dear little Vasalissa. I cannot give tly>e back to thy aunt, for I know no better than thou dust where this great company of men and women may be camping for the night. Rut thou shalt £o home with Ossip and me. Thou Htijflt share our lire and our porridge, ao,A all that is mine thou shalt share Villi Ossip. 1 can keep the wolves of 'hmigervand-cold away, and lf tliyjiunt coin<*B to claim thcc she shall find thee rosy and happy." Then Vasalissa quickly dried her tears, and with her hand clasped In Baboushka's she trudged cheerfully forward until they came to a tiny little cottage set back from the road a short distance. In Its one window a lamp was burning brightly. The window and the lamp belonged to Baboushka's cottage. She pushed Its unlocked door open, and the chil dren entered with her into a clean swept, well warmed room. A large chair was drawn close up to the hearth. As Baboushka entered she glanced eagerly at this chair, and again she muttered under her breath: "I had hoped he might have come while I was out." '•Good mother," Ossip asked, "why do you leave a lighted lamp in the win dow when you go away?" "So that," she answered, "should any one go astray in the cold and the dark he might find his way to my poor cottage. And now let us see if the bean broth has kept warm all this time. 1 made it before I left home in the early morning hours so that if any wander ers found their way hither they might uot leave my roof hungered." The bean broth had kept warm. She "bade Ossip throw a few msre fagots under the pot and set Vasalissa on a stool in the warmest nook. Then she brought three bo>vls, filled them with the bean broth and put them on the table. Over them she asked a blessing. Before her own wooden spoon had made two journeys from bowl to lip she heard a timid knock at the door. She ran quickly to answer it. A tall, pale lad stood outside. In his arms he carried a small mite of a boy, about whose shoulders was wrapped a worn and soiled woman's ohawl. The tall, pale lad looked Into the fire lighted room with longing eyes. His teeth chattered with the cold as he asked: "Good mother, may we ask shelter for the night? The cold bites bitter hard, and lay little brother Pe trusha is but a sickly cripple." Then Baboushka opened wide her door with an eager hand and fast beat ing heart. Perhaps, at last, this was the child. What she said aloud was: "That indeed thou mayest. But why ».rt thou abroad on such a bitter night trith the little one?" She took the crippled boy in her strong, loving arms and carried him SHE TOOK TIIE f'IIIPPLED BOY IN lIEII AItMS. straight to the groat chair in the chim ney corner. She rapped her own best shawl about liim and chafed his small, withered feet until they glowed with warmth. The tall, pale lad looked 011 gratefully. "I am seeking an asylum for the lit tle one," he said. "I have to work hard to keep him and myself from want. A rich merchant has promised me work, but he says I must not bring Petruslia. That he would take too much of my time." "And where seek you an asylum for him?" Baboushka looked pitifully at the small, sad face of the cripple. The tall brother answered sadly! "Alas, thut I know not yet I was seeking tins nearest town to ask coun sel of the priest." Baboushka laid a kind hand on the boy's arm. "Put care away from thy young heart. Thou hast found an asylum for thy crippled brother. lie shall travel 110 farther 011 the frozen roads. He shall be my own little Petruslia. I have a tiny truckle bed Into which lie will fit to a nicety. Such as I have, dear child, I make thee welcome to In the Christ Child's name." The night was but very little older when the three children, Ossip, Vasa lissa and Petruslia, fed," warmed and comforted, were sleeping the care free sleep of innocent childhood. Only the tall lad and Baboushka sat by the fireside, because there was no bed left for them. "Tell me, good mother," the boy said, looking straight into her kind eyes, "why are you so good to all children? Your fame has gone abroad." Baboushka did not answer him at once. When she did, her voice sounded as sweet and solemn as church chimes at vesper time. "Yes, I will tell you, my son, for you are nearing your own years of respon sibility, and it will be well for you to Tearn in good time the sofemn lesson that an opportunity once lost Is lost forever. "Many years ago I was setting my house In order when three men stopped at my door with a great pieee of news. " 'We have seen a radiant star ill the east,' they said, 'and we know that the Christ Child must be come. Leave thy labor. Come with us to find him and to do him honor.' "But I sent them away with words of foolish impatience. 'Seest thou not that I am setting my house in order? Go thou to where the star beckons thee, and I will follow fit some more convenientrtime. I can eee its-light TION yi WaP . . Cop>rifht» IW2, b*. Arthur J- BurOeN ."A i|\ C, /\\ //. M N N IV, ' Earth was a desert spot, V "?* Earth was all desolati' , i ' ( A weary way, ./ \ A songless ffay, 1 'J • Till on the world there dawned Till shining ahgfls sang p Otis: Christinas day. Of Christmas ttay. ~ / i Tpcn. like the fields made green Then every tiny/ till /j y h Aj By running brook. That danced? alongj J I \j Hope Came and all the world Found voice./and wiw ( the bird: New courSge took. Burst foet/i in sotjgj jl t fc' - c Earth was a gloomy place, ■'/ ' / /'/ i fxjk Q, A dreary way. (/j{ j // j/j j Until the Star arose / / // itJk J | _ On Christmas day. r I 1 > i m Then fled the world's despair, j // / \ : : . The heart's dread night— \ Saviour came to earth \ V And therc w^s u s ht! \\ if V/u/'i f -if _L without thy help.' "So they wont their way and left mo to go mine. But when the time came that I found it convenient to follow the star clouds obscured the heavens, anil there was no star to be seen, and so I knew not how to seek the Christ Child. "I have been seeking him over since, up and down in the land. Whenever, wherever I see a little child I think perhaps I have found the One 1 seek, and my heart yearns over him. But not yet have I found the Christ Child, whose face must shine with the radi ance of the star I lost." With tears of sorrow wetting her eyelashes Baboushka fell asleep in hor chair. She had filled all of her beds with cold and friendless children. And as she slept a tender hand seemed to dry her tears and a loving voice to whisper in her ears: "Inasmuch as ye have done It unto the least of these little ones ye have done it unto me. They were homeless, and ye took them in. They were hun gry, and you have fed them. They were cold, and you have warmed thcni. The Christ Child is in thy own heart." Anil on that glad Christmas morning Baboushka awoke with a great peace in her soul, for she knew that she had found him she had been seeking far and wide. t nsmtefnl Queen Henx. Her majesty's service was apt to be more plentifully supplied with kick# than ha'pence. Every one who ever did anything fur tiueen Bess seems to have been left with a bad debt on his books. So we tind an unfortunate John Conley writing to Sir Uobcrt Cecil that for tlie last two years he had beeD suitor for £IOO for "beeves for the army," and complaining that "nnlesr. some order be taken I shall be un done." Sir Edward Hastyngs. after spending his life in serving the queen, hud to pawn his wife's jewels and beg her majesty "to bestow something upon tue in this my latter age." So badly was tlie fleet that heat the armada provisioned that Francis Drake had to seize at Plymouth ninety bags of rice, and the unfortunate own er, after ten years' waiting, was re fused payment, "rice being an extraor dinary victual not allowed for the navy." Nor did common soldiers fare better. The chief anxiety of all Eliza beth's ministers ought. In her view, to have been how to save most money.— London Telegraph. Stransce l Ulilnn Matrhe*. In the olden time in England lords and ladies sometimes Invented queer umusements. They were always on the lookout for some novelty, and one of the strangest they discovered was fishing by a goose. A line with a baited hook attached having been fastened to the goose, tied to its leg. she was flung luto the water from the boat in which were all the gay lords and ladies. Then, When a pike caught tlie bait, she was sport indeed, a royal battle between bird and fish, and all the time, between the loud splashings, wheelings and flounderings, the onlookers in the boat giving vent to their feelings in cheers, handciappings and handkerchief wav ing. Hut the goose was usually the victor, and ended the struggle by landing Its prisoner on the shore, where its quack, quack, as it cleared Itself from the line and waddled away ended the sceue. The lake of Monteith in the southwest of Perthshire was ofteu the scene of such angling matches. The lllltlc nnd I.avr. A certain well knowu lawyer, whose wife is almost an invalid, is telling a story which illustrates the often point ed, If unconscious, wit of the darky. On one occasion, It seems, his wife was suffering intensely from a nerv ous headache and. thinking, iterhaps. Ids voice might soothe her to sleep, asked him to read aloud to her. which he did as tl\e colored maid went back and forth about the room setting things In order for the night. Presently the maid quietly withdrew to the kitchen below, whore the old cook. Aunt Phyllis, was making'ready to lock up and depart "Mr. Alex sho' is a good man," said the maid, beginning. "He settln' up dar readin' de Bible to Miss Alice, an' she sick." "Go on, chile," answered Aunt Phyl lis; "don' yo' know Mr. Aisx aln' read- In' no Bible? lie's a lawyer!"— New York Ileraid. I.lvetl I'll to Iler Xiime. Apropos of the eternal domestic ques tion, an Englishwoman relates this ex perience: "I engaged a maid named Peini, and as I simply couldn't ask a Pearl to fill the coal scuttle or to holy stone the doorstep, I said: 'I would rather call you by some other name. Have you a second one? 'Yes," replied tlie damsel brightly, 'my second name Is Opal.' So I stuck to I'earl. At one time I all but engaged a maid named Ilermlone, but upon asking her, 'Have you a black dress, white caps and aprons?' she replied acidly: 'Yes, I have; but I'm not going to wear 'em. Ma didn't christen tue 'Ermiono for to wear a livery.' " LOOKING FOR SANTA CLAUS The snow was falling on the moun tains, hiding their tops in a misty veil, and the air was full of whirling flakes, which were rapidly covering the brown earth with a carpet of white and oblit erating the trail up the mountain side where trudged, or, rather, stumbled, along a grotesque childish figure in a man's rough jacket, the sleeves rolled over and over to let out the small 74 ■ brown hands, while the jj. v edge of the coat. 011 a line j with her heels, left a trail rVyl in the snow. A red hood 'j_ covered the child's head, J, . dark curls peeping out around her face, and in .' the fearless, wistful eyes j* shone a new light, for A Dorothy was going to find V • Santa Claus. When hor ' mother had gone to heav- -. en a short time before, .1 jif JIM they had carried her up ' BJ'J'JjMM the mountain, and (!od ' -MKunivj and Santa Claus were al ways associated together M ! J|pW. r |S In the child's mind. So, if God lived up there, San ta Claus could not be far away. Thus reasoned lit- S T tie Dorothy in the hours when her father was o£f u •*] working In the mine aud J she was left alone with _ 1 ill 1 .1 ii..l Dorothy was hor rag doll in the little going to brown but which served find Santa as shelter and home. Claus. "Santa Claus may not come here now mother has gone," the little girl said, "and It mast be near Christmas, so I will find him, and perhaps he will take me in his reindeer sleigh to see mother and God." Little Dorothy paused In hor task of sweeping the one room -of their home, and, putting some potatoes iu the ashes to bake, that hor father's supper might be ready for him, she had wrapped herself in his old coat, donned her red hood and started out to find Santa Claus. It chanced that day that one of the mine owners was down from the city on a tour of inspection, and, having seen Dorothy O" a previous trip, he romt ' m ' ,orin K auoth er little girl who was very happy 011 Christmas eve, brought down a Christ • aLzJ nms ' >ox ' or Dorothy and ',.JA so strolled along with her '»* father as he started horne ward, that he might give it into the hands of the $3 little maiden herself. But when they reached the 2r* - brown hut Dorothy was f not there, and wheu re peated calls brought no * " nswer the two men, alarmed, started in oppo- L site directions to seek her, Mr. Golden following the l Y almost obliterated path ) up the mountain side, I J' ■' where, n mile beyond, ho ! •* ' J found tlie little one al y..'.;,' ) most burled in the falliug snow, and as he stooped to lift her in his arms she "Dear, good murmured drowsily, see- Ci ius " UI ta ,nB tbe klnd * ace l>eml,ll ß over her: "Dear, good Mr. Santa Claus, I want"— When she opened her wistful, dark eyes again, the same kind face was bending over her as she lay on her cot in the little brown house, her father holding her in his arms, while beside her was the most beautiful doll of which she had ever dreamed, and, clasping it close to her heart, little Dorothy asked with reverent Joy, the dark eyes filled to overflowing: "Dear Mr. Santa Claus, is you God too?" CALLIE BONNEY MARBLE. Why He Lniiithfd. . Rylands, who had purchased a new horse warranted to be quiet to ride aud in harness and a good trotter to boot, had invited a friend to accompany him for a trial drive. They had not gone very far when the liorse bolted, ran against a heap of stones lying In the road and pitched both occupants violently Into the laue. When they recovered, tlie horse had disappeared, leaving the buggy shaft less aud a heap of wreckage. Itylands began to roar. "What 011 earth aro you laughing at?" dejectedly inquired the friend. "Why, the fellow who sold me that horse lent me the buggy!"— New York Times. WelllnKton na nil Art Connolaiaeiir. In his "Reminiscences" Frederick Goodall tells a story of Wellington as an art connoisseur. He paid Wilkie COO guineas for his "Chelsea Pension ers" and laboriously counted out the amount In cash. When the artist sug gested that It would be less trouble to Write a check, the great duke retorted that he would not let his bankers know "what it blank fool I have been to spend 000 guineas for a picture." * O-C—O-O'O-O-O-O-O^-O-O-O'O'O-O^-O—o-0-o*o-0-o^o-K>^o»9i || THE TWO I Sn L | 1 SOLDIERS fsm yX eg— C'tipi/rtflM, 190!, by £dirin Sdbin 0 AT IT was a brilliant holiday 6tore, the windows and the shelves and the cases ablaze with filigree and thronged with dolls and dishes and engines and trains and skates and sleds, and hobbyhorses that galloped, and cows that mooed, and mice that ran, and—and every thing, absolutely everything, that-ever enters the most rapturous Christmas dream. In the center of the large show win dows, fronting upon the gay street stood two soldiers. They were by all odds the finest soldiers In the store, much superior to the personnel com posing the different troops and regi ments and companies stationed here and there along the aisles. The pah were made of tin, to be sure; but they were ol' heroic stature, eight inches tall, richly uniformed In black and yellow, and could be wound up 60 that they would present arms several times in succession. The other soldiers, poor things, were compelled to remain the whole time at a "carry" or a "right shoulder" with out relief. Naturally these two soldiers were proud and of aspirations reaching be "OH, TO GET AWAY FROM TMS ETEKNAJj GUARD MOUNT!" yond their present narrow quarters. They pined for a wider sphere. Aa they stood and stared with stern, fixed gaze through the plate glass into the gay street they talked together in toy language, and none, not even the most versatile linguists among the people passing and repassing, knew that they talked. "Oh, to get away from this eternal guard mount over a lot of frippery!" sighed the one. "With all my heart!" agreed the other. "The monotony is frightful." "I'd give half my solder to receive orders to report to some little boy," continued the first "Oh, for a change!" "But the majority of little boys are so rough and careless," responded the second. "I understand they scratch you and bend you and mal treat you without cause, and soon you're done for. I prefer duty of a more quiet, instructive nature, where I may teach by means of my deport ment rather than by violent action." "Well, I should enjoy a hard drill and a tussle, I believe," asserted the first. "Our organism Is too fine for such active service, my lad," indulgently corrected the second. "What—scratches and dents? No, no. Give me a post of more elegance, where my uniform will be treated as it deserves." • •••••• Christmas day had been over and gone a month when after their separa tion the two soldiers again encounter ed one another, but this time in a great of rubbish at the city dump, where the dump man had unwittingly thrown them out. "Hurrah! Hello, old chap!" exclaim ed the first soldier delightedly. "Hello!" returned the second, with rather more reserve. "Goodness! Been through the Seven Years' war?" Well might he put this query. The other soldier was a perfect wreck. Ho had lost an arm and a foot, his head was sharply Inclined forward upon his chest, he had only one eye, his body was twisted askew, his gun was bro ken, his cap was missing, his features were battered and distorted, and as for his uniform of black and yellow—there was hardly a spot of paint on him! "I—l've been having my tussle," an nounced the first, with a cracked laugh. "But you—why, you evidently found Just what you were looking for." "Yes," explained the second, "I fell Into an excellent post. It was the hands of a little boy, snro enough, but he wasn't allowed to hurt me. See, I haven't a marl; on me." And ho ex hibited himself proudly. True, he was still in dress parade condition. "Thunder and Mars!" chuckled the first. "And look at me! Do you mean to say that you never were stepped on ?" "Oh, no," replied the second. "I didn't lie around on the floor. I was put away Just as soon as he was done playing with me. Ills mother had made him a very orderly little boy." "So you never stayed out all night In the hall or in the middle of the sit ting room?" "Never," said the spick and span sol dier. "And did he shoot at you :wltl» his rubber gun ever?" "Never," said the spick and span sol dier. "And he didn't bite you to see how soft you were?" "Never," said the spick and span sol dier. "Or drag you about among the chairs with a string?" "Never," Raid the spick and span sol dier. "Or sick the terrier on you?" No5I "Never." "* ■) "Or take yon to bed with him and roll on you?" 1 "Never. I was always placed on the shelf in the closet." ; "Or kick you or whack you or throwi you?" "Never. Watch—l can present arms as well as ever." "Or kiss you and hug you with all his nflght and cry for you when he was sick through eating too much candy?" "Never. He used to forget me en tirely for days and days. Did your boy really do all that to you?" "Yes, all that and more," answered the battered soldier softly. "And did he kiss you, you say?" asked the spick and span soldier a bit wistfully. "Yes; he kicked me and he kissed me," laughed the first. "And did you enjoy It?" pursued the second curiously. "I had the time of my life," declared the other. "How did you find things— up to your expectations?" The spick and span soldier hesitated; then he replied: "Possibly. I can't complain. But—, but somehow I grew dreadfully en nuled." I almost longed at times for 1 more excitement, more energy. We got tired of one another. After a day, or so we exhausted all our programme of proper exercises, and he was so cau tious of wearing me out that I was laid aside, and—and, finally, here I am. I don't suppose he even knows that I'm gone." "Dear me!" mused the other. "I'm glad my little boy was not like yours.' Of course there are the knocks; but,: TUB VXTZBANS MED. oh, our companionship was sweet! I: bet he's crying for me at this Instant, : poor chum! Still. It Is as well that I; am carted to the dump. I am old and! disfigured and a back number, and I wanted to go before he would cease to miss me." The spick and 'span soldier was si lent "HI, yl!" soliloquized the veteran, with a sigh and with a chuckle, stiffly rolling over on his back. "I'm past re pairs, but It was sweet—aye, it wasj worth It! I—have —had—the —time—of ' —my—life." And with his one eye he gazed through a chluk In the debris up atiihe; stars. Freak* of the Tariff. The following amusing details of the freaks of the custom house are told in the Munchener Zeltung: A German gen tleman returning from southwest Afri ca brought with him a tiny monkey, weighing about two pounds. From' Tanga to Genoa the animal was con veyed gratis. Thence to the Swiss frontier 15d. was charged on it as "a bird.'' The St Gothard railway of ficials, however, viewed it as "a dog,"i and charged 75., while on the Eastern Swiss railway It became a m<*re "pack-, age," liable to Bd. Through Baden and' Wurttemberg the animal was passedj free, but at Stuttgart It again became" "a dog" and cost another 17tL Cockney Riddle*. "Why is n crane like a well known shellfish?" "Because it's an oyster" (a holster). It Is stated that a well known riddle was written by a costermonger. The riddle In question is a charade and runs as follows: Vly first's a little bird as 'ops. My second's needful in 'ay crops. My 'ole Is good with mutton chops. The answer, of course, Is "sparrow grass," which the learned Dr. Parr al ways Insisted on using In preference to the politer "asparagus."—Notes and 1 Queries. Fntlent Walters. "Mary, what are you sitting out on that damp porch for? Don't you know; it's 11 o'clock?" "George and I are looking for the new comet, ma." "But the new comet isn't due for. several nights." "Well, we are in no hurry, ma."—, Cleveland Plain Dealer. Ku( S» Strnnite. It doesn't seem so remarkable that aJ diamond will cut glass when you con*' elder that It will even make an lmpres-J slon on a woman's heart. The heart of a man Is never as hard l aa his head.—Lamartine. The fool sits down and worries about the living the world owes him, but the wise guy hustles around and collects the Interest on the debt Chicago News. One of the hard things to under stand Is how such nice grandmothers ns everybody lias ever could have been mot her-lnlaws.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers