Butler citizen. (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, December 18, 1902, Image 1

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iThe Modern Store's!
8 Gifts for Grandparents, Parents, m
5 Sisters, Brothers, Sweethearts, 5
Children and Everybody. m
We invite your attention to this list because it
ff 3 will be helpful to you in your annual predica- K
W ment of selecting just the right thing. This is m
Ik v fl prices on every article in this store, that there
M V will be an opportunity for you to get everything Uk
tj! n you want at money-saying prices. Whether
(K ready to buy or not, come to our
See us a
1 'before you buy.|
% Gifts lor Women and Girls. &
U Silk or Wool Dress patterns, Fine|Linen Napkins. Bed Spreads, Qk
|n Silk or Wool Waist Patterns, E? ne Blankets,
A Handkerchiefs, Fancy NecKwear, E lae Satine Comforters, 5#
fO Kid Gloves, Golf Gloves, Mittens, P™« ? Fine Perfumery and Toilet
M Belts, Pocketbooks, Chatelaines, Articles.Fancv Cushions, Jpt
6 Wrist Bags. Neck Ruffs, F,ne Holiday Umbrellas,
M Sash Pins, Hat Pins, P? ess Hats. Fine Hosiery, M
X Brooches, Rings, Silver and Ebony Manicure Sets,
JK Sterling Silver Manicure Pieces, Silver and Ebony Brush and Comb V
Fur Scarfs. Fur Muffs, Sets, Toilet Sets, Glove Boxes,
#, Flannel Shirt WaisU, Handkerchief Boxes. V, ork Boxes, ST
£ Silk Shirt Waists, Triplicate Mirrors, Hand Mirrors, X
K Dressing Sacques. Dress-Skirts, §!? ver Ebony Hair BrpshM,
U Fine Under akirts. Knit Shawls, Silver and Ebony Cloth Brushes, U
K Golf Vests. Fine Wool Underwear, Silver and Ebony Bonnet Brushes.
Sp Muslin Underwear, BURXED WOOD ARTICLES: 1m
JO Flannelette Night Robes, Bread Plates, Nut Bowls, £/
0 Fine Linen Towels, Plate Rack, Placques, #
S Fine Table Linen, Candelabrum, etc. a
3 Gifts for Men and Boys. ' $
« Neckwear, Shirts, Collars, Cuffs, Smoker Sets, Shaving Sets, S
flr Linen and Silk Handkerchiefs, Silver and Ebonv Cloth Brushes, (R
yj Mufflers, Way's Mufflets, Hat Brushes.Military Hair
Fancy Half-Hose. Cotton, Lisle, Brushes, Desk Sets, R
Cashmere; Sftk Suspenders, Hair Brush Sets, Comb Sets,
Umbrellas, Fancy Night Robes, Silver Match Boxes, K
Full Dress Protectors, Fancy Cushions, Uk
Cuff Buttons, Scarf Pins, Burned Wood Pipe Racks, JK
Shirt Studs, Watch Fobe. Beer-Stein; Uk
Silk Garters.Collar &Cnff Boxes, Gloves—Kid, Mocho, Cashmere
Handkerchief Boxes, and Golf; Wool Underwear, jp)
Neck-Tie Boxes, Leather Suit Cases, etc.
Gifts for Children. *
Dolls, Children's Dinner and Tea Fur Sets, Dress Patterns,
Sets, Golf Gloves, Kid Gloves, Kid Handkerchiefs, Underwear, jpt
Mittens, Necklaces, Beauty Pins, Stockings, Hats, etc.
Co., $
nana. r £.2\ a 'l Orders Solicited £
Late Fiction SI.OB.
Big line of Bibles.
Magnificent line of Pictures & Medallions.
Big line 1903 Calendars and Diaries.
Toys at Cost.
Ask about Piano Contest.
eyra sros.,
The time of the year is here when you want to purchase your
is complete.
Large stock of Gokey's high cut hand-pegged shoes, Gokey's
high-cut copper toe shoes for Boys and Waterproof Shoes for Girls.
Ladies' Fine Dongola Patent Tip Shoes, $1.50 grade, .at $1 00
Old Ladies' Warm Lined Shoes at 85
Men's Fine Embroidered Slippers at 40
Ladies' Whole Btock Waterproof Shoes at 1 75
Misses' Whole Stock Waterproof Shoes at 1 40
Men's Good Kip Heavy Sole Box Toe Shoes at 2 25
Ladies' Fine Trimmed Juliet Slippers at 00
Men's Coon Tail Excluder Knit Boots and Heavy Duck Rolled Edge Overs. .|2 50
Men's Russian Felt Boots and Heavy Duck Rolled Edge Overs 2 50
Men's Gray Felts and First Quality Overs 1 75
Boys' Gray Felts and First Quality Oyers 1 05
Youths' Gray Felts and First Quality Overs 1 25
Men's Rubber Boots 2 25
Ladies' Rubber Boots .. 1 25
Men's Buckle Arctics 1 00
Complete stock of German stockings and rolled edge rubbers.
Large stock of Ladies', Gents', Misses' and Children's Leggins
and Overgaiters at reduced prices.
High Iron Stands with four lasts for repairing at 50c.
Sole Leather and Shoemakers' supplies of all kinds.
Repairing promptly done.
128 South Main St., BUTLER, PA.
Fall& Winter Weights
R Have a nattiness about thera that J] V-A f /'"vKV
mark the wearer, it won't do to IJVV / J ' //
wear the last year's output. You pf [* \ IHS) /J
won't get the latest things at the . 'if XL J \ y"\
stock clothiers either. The up-to- ' y/ \ pj t"<
Cdate tailor only can supply them, . A [/ \jV [J fS
if you want not only the latest | 1/ V s TTTTr I
things in cut and fit and work- i I I \> l/7Ttf I
rrLonship, the finest in durability, ,1 I ill I
where else can you get combina- i j 1 L 111
tlons, you get them at JU } I L Hill*
G. F. KECK, Merchant Tailor,
42 North Main Street All Work Guaranteed Butler, Pa
In all ita itAges. x J-Uj)M
Ely's Cream
e'e»r.«e«, soothes and heals { y m
the diseased merohrane. I
11 enrea catarrh and drive* M »'A-(
away a cold in the head
| Creazn Balm is placed tatt> th* *o6siU, spreads
I over the membrane and is absorbed. Reief is In
mediate and a cure follows. &ia not drying—doea
not produce sneering. Large Size, W cenU at Bscg
gists or by Tr>*ii; Trial Size, 10 cent*.
14 ll
M Johnston's pj
► Beef, Iron and Wine jf^
Best Tonic'' kl
► and [ S
< Blowl Purifier. kl
► Price, 50c pint. f M
t Prepared and W A
W sold only at
J Johnston s b»1
» Crystal i«
< Pharmacy. H
► B. 51. LOGAN, Pb. 0..
i Manager, fp +
Both 'Phones vi
Everything in the
► drug line. J A
Just Arrived
In Latest
Coronation Suitings;
Black and White
Wedding Suits a
Call and examine before leaving
your order for suit.
Leading Tailor,
With Newton,
Piano Man.
question of the day is why
Newton, "The Piano Man"
can sell a bfetter piano for less
money than anyone else in
Western Pennsylvania.
He represents the wealthiest manu
facturers of Pianos. You pay direct to
thein for all the Pianos. The expense
of selling them is $75: less than the
ordinary retail man and you H&TO his
profit, which means to you $175 saved.
Prices from $'.250 to $1,51)0—10 per cent
off for cash. All pianos fully warrant
ed. My customers aro my reference.
Ask them. Call and see me and let me
explain our easy payment plan.
Your credit is good.
317 S. Main St. Butler Pa
Pearson B. Nace's
Livery Feed and*SaleStable
Rear of
Wick House! Butler. Penn'a.
The host of Itnr.sPH and first class riRS al
ways on hand and for hire.
U«'st accommodat ions In town for perma
nent boarding and transient trade. Speci
al care guaranteed.
Stable Room For 65 Horses.
A eood c ass of horses, both drivers and
draft horses always on hand and for sale
under a full gu&rauteo; and horses bough
Don proper notification bv
Telephone No. 21V.
NIGIIT was falling fast, and
the snow was piled high
against the outer walls of
the hovel where n poor raou
jik (peasant) named Kato
ma lay dying in a little village in far
away Russia.
Katoma knew that he was going to
die. It was Christmas eve, but there
wiyt no gladness in the season for him.
His wife, whom he had loved very
(Jjprly, was already gone. For three
consecutive years now his crops had
f;iiled. A few weeks before the wolves
had devoured his last cow. If he had
been entirely alone in the world he
would have said to deafh, "Come; thou
art welcome!"
•Rut there was one other, his boy
Gssip. The idea, of deatli became ter
rible when lie thought of leaving his
boy all alone with not a copeck to biess
Wmself with.
When I tell you that it takes 100
copecks to make a ruble and that a
yible is less than CO cents, you will
Understand how dreadfully poor Ka
<oma was.
lie could not die peacefully for think
tag of Ossip's future. His dim eyes
turned fondly toward the pillow by his
side, which the boy's thick black hair
almost covered. Ossip lay motionless
in sleep. The sick man put one feeble
hand upon his boy's smooth forehead
and silently commended him to heav
en's care.
The house was very still. The hour
was late. Ossip's healthy, regular
breatiiinn was the only audible sound.
If only kind heaven would raise up one
St-iend for his boy out of the millions
of good people this big world swarmed
with, Katoma felt that he should not
mind how soon he was laid away un
der the fro •••n sods.
While his hand rested on Ossip's
head and his heart was filled with
these anxious thoughts the door of the
hovel opened softly. The moujik
turned wondering eyes in that direc
tion, and there, coming noiselessly to
ward him across the beaten earthen
flotfr, was a tall woman with soft
brown eyes full of pitying tenderness.
She came close to the bed, on Ossip's
side of it, and, looking down upon the
sleeping child, she muttered:
"Rcrhap's this is the one at last."
Katoma looked at her anxiously.
"Whence came you, good mother,
ftOd what seek you?"
Across the sleeping boy she an
swered softly:
"I have come for Ossip. They told
me in the village that thy days were
rfurubercd, and I knew that Ossip
jrould need a friend. I will love and
care for him as though he were my
very own. I am called Raboushka,
and 1 keep my promises."
Then Katoma, the moujik, died hap
py, for he knew that Raboushka was
u friend to all little children, and when
she gathered Ossip closo into her moth
erly arms when the end came the child
teased weeping for his dead father.
When Raboushka and Ossip were
well on their wtfy to the old woman's
home, in the next village, they heard
a pitiful sound of weeping somewhere
on the tree shadowed side of the road.
The oldwoman stopped at the sound.
"We will go and see who is In trou
ble, Ossip. Our eyes and ears should
always be kept well opened so that no
sign of distress may escape us."
Guided by the sound, they came to
a stone where, walling and shivering
In tho darkness of the winter night,
fifty found a little girl scarcely as
large as Ossip, who was not at all well
grown for his eight years.
Raboushka knelt down by the child
und, gathering her cold little feet into
n warm clasp, muttered:
"Perhaps this Is the child."
Then she said aloud, "What Is thy
name, little one, and what doest thou
here alone In the bitter nighttime?"
AX which the child's tears ilowed
afresh, and between her sobs she told
the kind, soft eyed woman how she
had been traveling with a great com
pany of men and women who were
loavlng their own village to seek a bet
ter land across the seas our own
1 blessed America, I make no doubt
ed how, when they had encamped for
the night, her aunt, who was the only
relative she had in the world, had sent
her Into the woods to gather fagots to
put under their soup kettle, and how
she had wandered no far that she had
not been able to" find her way back to
tfce camp, and how she feared the
wolves would devour her before any
ojje should come to look for her. Then
she told Raboushka that her name was
Raboushka clasped the little wander-
her great motherly heart.
"That, indeed, the wolves shall not.
my dear little Vasalissa. I cannot give
tly>e back to thy aunt, for I know no
better than thou dust where this great
company of men and women may be
camping for the night. Rut thou shalt
£o home with Ossip and me. Thou
Htijflt share our lire and our porridge,
ao,A all that is mine thou shalt share
Villi Ossip. 1 can keep the wolves of
'hmigervand-cold away, and lf tliyjiunt
coin<*B to claim thcc she shall find thee
rosy and happy."
Then Vasalissa quickly dried her
tears, and with her hand clasped In
Baboushka's she trudged cheerfully
forward until they came to a tiny little
cottage set back from the road a short
distance. In Its one window a lamp
was burning brightly.
The window and the lamp belonged
to Baboushka's cottage. She pushed
Its unlocked door open, and the chil
dren entered with her into a clean
swept, well warmed room.
A large chair was drawn close up to
the hearth. As Baboushka entered she
glanced eagerly at this chair, and again
she muttered under her breath:
"I had hoped he might have come
while I was out."
'•Good mother," Ossip asked, "why
do you leave a lighted lamp in the win
dow when you go away?"
"So that," she answered, "should any
one go astray in the cold and the dark
he might find his way to my poor
cottage. And now let us see if the bean
broth has kept warm all this time. 1
made it before I left home in the early
morning hours so that if any wander
ers found their way hither they might
uot leave my roof hungered."
The bean broth had kept warm. She
"bade Ossip throw a few msre fagots
under the pot and set Vasalissa on a
stool in the warmest nook. Then she
brought three bo>vls, filled them with
the bean broth and put them on the
table. Over them she asked a blessing.
Before her own wooden spoon had
made two journeys from bowl to lip
she heard a timid knock at the door.
She ran quickly to answer it. A tall,
pale lad stood outside. In his arms he
carried a small mite of a boy, about
whose shoulders was wrapped a worn
and soiled woman's ohawl.
The tall, pale lad looked Into the fire
lighted room with longing eyes. His
teeth chattered with the cold as he
asked: "Good mother, may we ask
shelter for the night? The cold bites
bitter hard, and lay little brother Pe
trusha is but a sickly cripple."
Then Baboushka opened wide her
door with an eager hand and fast beat
ing heart. Perhaps, at last, this was
the child. What she said aloud was:
"That indeed thou mayest. But why
».rt thou abroad on such a bitter night
trith the little one?"
She took the crippled boy in her
strong, loving arms and carried him
straight to the groat chair in the chim
ney corner. She rapped her own
best shawl about liim and chafed his
small, withered feet until they glowed
with warmth. The tall, pale lad
looked 011 gratefully.
"I am seeking an asylum for the lit
tle one," he said. "I have to work hard
to keep him and myself from want. A
rich merchant has promised me work,
but he says I must not bring Petruslia.
That he would take too much of my
"And where seek you an asylum for
Baboushka looked pitifully at the
small, sad face of the cripple. The tall
brother answered sadly!
"Alas, thut I know not yet I was
seeking tins nearest town to ask coun
sel of the priest."
Baboushka laid a kind hand on the
boy's arm.
"Put care away from thy young
heart. Thou hast found an asylum
for thy crippled brother. lie shall
travel 110 farther 011 the frozen roads.
He shall be my own little Petruslia. I
have a tiny truckle bed Into which lie
will fit to a nicety. Such as I have,
dear child, I make thee welcome to In
the Christ Child's name."
The night was but very little older
when the three children, Ossip, Vasa
lissa and Petruslia, fed," warmed and
comforted, were sleeping the care free
sleep of innocent childhood.
Only the tall lad and Baboushka sat
by the fireside, because there was no
bed left for them.
"Tell me, good mother," the boy said,
looking straight into her kind eyes,
"why are you so good to all children?
Your fame has gone abroad."
Baboushka did not answer him at
once. When she did, her voice sounded
as sweet and solemn as church chimes
at vesper time.
"Yes, I will tell you, my son, for you
are nearing your own years of respon
sibility, and it will be well for you to
Tearn in good time the sofemn lesson
that an opportunity once lost Is lost
"Many years ago I was setting my
house In order when three men stopped
at my door with a great pieee of news.
" 'We have seen a radiant star ill the
east,' they said, 'and we know that the
Christ Child must be come. Leave thy
labor. Come with us to find him and
to do him honor.'
"But I sent them away with words
of foolish impatience. 'Seest thou not
that I am setting my house in order?
Go thou to where the star beckons
thee, and I will follow fit some more
convenientrtime. I can eee its-light
yi WaP . . Cop>rifht» IW2, b*. Arthur J- BurOeN ."A i|\ C, /\\
//. M N N IV, '
Earth was a desert spot, V "?* Earth was all desolati' , i ' (
A weary way, ./ \ A songless ffay, 1 'J
• Till on the world there dawned Till shining ahgfls sang p
Otis: Christinas day. Of Christmas ttay. ~ / i
Tpcn. like the fields made green Then every tiny/ till /j y h
Aj By running brook. That danced? alongj J I
\j Hope Came and all the world Found voice./and wiw ( the bird:
New courSge took. Burst foet/i in sotjgj jl t
fc' - c Earth was a gloomy place, ■'/ ' / /'/ i
fxjk Q, A dreary way. (/j{ j // j/j
j Until the Star arose / / //
itJk J | _ On Christmas day. r
I 1 > i m Then fled the world's despair, j // / \
: : . The heart's dread night— \
Saviour came to earth \ V
And therc w^s u s ht! \\ if V/u/'i
f -if _L
without thy help.'
"So they wont their way and left mo
to go mine. But when the time came
that I found it convenient to follow
the star clouds obscured the heavens,
anil there was no star to be seen, and
so I knew not how to seek the Christ
"I have been seeking him over since,
up and down in the land. Whenever,
wherever I see a little child I think
perhaps I have found the One 1 seek,
and my heart yearns over him. But
not yet have I found the Christ Child,
whose face must shine with the radi
ance of the star I lost."
With tears of sorrow wetting her
eyelashes Baboushka fell asleep in hor
chair. She had filled all of her beds
with cold and friendless children.
And as she slept a tender hand
seemed to dry her tears and a loving
voice to whisper in her ears:
"Inasmuch as ye have done It unto
the least of these little ones ye have
done it unto me. They were homeless,
and ye took them in. They were hun
gry, and you have fed them. They
were cold, and you have warmed thcni.
The Christ Child is in thy own heart."
Anil on that glad Christmas morning
Baboushka awoke with a great peace
in her soul, for she knew that she had
found him she had been seeking far
and wide.
t nsmtefnl Queen Henx.
Her majesty's service was apt to be
more plentifully supplied with kick#
than ha'pence. Every one who ever
did anything fur tiueen Bess seems to
have been left with a bad debt on his
books. So we tind an unfortunate John
Conley writing to Sir Uobcrt Cecil that
for tlie last two years he had beeD
suitor for £IOO for "beeves for the
army," and complaining that "nnlesr.
some order be taken I shall be un
done." Sir Edward Hastyngs. after
spending his life in serving the queen,
hud to pawn his wife's jewels and beg
her majesty "to bestow something upon
tue in this my latter age."
So badly was tlie fleet that heat the
armada provisioned that Francis
Drake had to seize at Plymouth ninety
bags of rice, and the unfortunate own
er, after ten years' waiting, was re
fused payment, "rice being an extraor
dinary victual not allowed for the
navy." Nor did common soldiers fare
better. The chief anxiety of all Eliza
beth's ministers ought. In her view, to
have been how to save most money.—
London Telegraph.
Stransce l Ulilnn Matrhe*.
In the olden time in England lords
and ladies sometimes Invented queer
umusements. They were always on
the lookout for some novelty, and one
of the strangest they discovered was
fishing by a goose. A line with a baited
hook attached having been fastened to
the goose, tied to its leg. she was flung
luto the water from the boat in which
were all the gay lords and ladies. Then,
When a pike caught tlie bait, she was
sport indeed, a royal battle between
bird and fish, and all the time, between
the loud splashings, wheelings and
flounderings, the onlookers in the boat
giving vent to their feelings in cheers,
handciappings and handkerchief wav
Hut the goose was usually the victor,
and ended the struggle by landing Its
prisoner on the shore, where its quack,
quack, as it cleared Itself from the line
and waddled away ended the sceue.
The lake of Monteith in the southwest
of Perthshire was ofteu the scene of
such angling matches.
The lllltlc nnd I.avr.
A certain well knowu lawyer, whose
wife is almost an invalid, is telling a
story which illustrates the often point
ed, If unconscious, wit of the darky.
On one occasion, It seems, his wife
was suffering intensely from a nerv
ous headache and. thinking, iterhaps.
Ids voice might soothe her to sleep,
asked him to read aloud to her. which
he did as tl\e colored maid went back
and forth about the room setting
things In order for the night.
Presently the maid quietly withdrew
to the kitchen below, whore the old
cook. Aunt Phyllis, was making'ready
to lock up and depart
"Mr. Alex sho' is a good man," said
the maid, beginning. "He settln' up
dar readin' de Bible to Miss Alice, an'
she sick."
"Go on, chile," answered Aunt Phyl
lis; "don' yo' know Mr. Aisx aln' read-
In' no Bible? lie's a lawyer!"— New
York Ileraid.
I.lvetl I'll to Iler Xiime.
Apropos of the eternal domestic ques
tion, an Englishwoman relates this ex
perience: "I engaged a maid named
Peini, and as I simply couldn't ask a
Pearl to fill the coal scuttle or to holy
stone the doorstep, I said: 'I would
rather call you by some other name.
Have you a second one? 'Yes," replied
tlie damsel brightly, 'my second name
Is Opal.' So I stuck to I'earl. At one
time I all but engaged a maid named
Ilermlone, but upon asking her, 'Have
you a black dress, white caps and
aprons?' she replied acidly: 'Yes, I
have; but I'm not going to wear 'em.
Ma didn't christen tue 'Ermiono for to
wear a livery.' "
The snow was falling on the moun
tains, hiding their tops in a misty veil,
and the air was full of whirling flakes,
which were rapidly covering the brown
earth with a carpet of white and oblit
erating the trail up the mountain side
where trudged, or, rather, stumbled,
along a grotesque childish figure in a
man's rough jacket, the
sleeves rolled over and
over to let out the small 74 ■
brown hands, while the jj. v
edge of the coat. 011 a line j
with her heels, left a trail rVyl
in the snow. A red hood 'j_
covered the child's head, J, .
dark curls peeping out
around her face, and in .'
the fearless, wistful eyes j*
shone a new light, for A
Dorothy was going to find V •
Santa Claus. When hor '
mother had gone to heav- -.
en a short time before, .1 jif JIM
they had carried her up ' BJ'J'JjMM
the mountain, and (!od ' -MKunivj
and Santa Claus were al
ways associated together M ! J|pW. r |S
In the child's mind. So,
if God lived up there, San
ta Claus could not be far
away. Thus reasoned lit- S T
tie Dorothy in the hours
when her father was o£f u •*]
working In the mine aud J
she was left alone with _
1 ill 1 .1 ii..l Dorothy was
hor rag doll in the little going to
brown but which served find Santa
as shelter and home. Claus.
"Santa Claus may not come here
now mother has gone," the little girl
said, "and It mast be near Christmas,
so I will find him, and perhaps he will
take me in his reindeer sleigh to see
mother and God."
Little Dorothy paused In hor task
of sweeping the one room -of their
home, and, putting some potatoes iu
the ashes to bake, that hor father's
supper might be ready for him, she had
wrapped herself in his old coat, donned
her red hood and started out to find
Santa Claus.
It chanced that day that one of the
mine owners was down from the city
on a tour of inspection,
and, having seen Dorothy
O" a previous trip, he
romt ' m ' ,orin K auoth
er little girl who was very
happy 011 Christmas eve,
brought down a Christ
• aLzJ nms ' >ox ' or Dorothy and
',.JA so strolled along with her
'»* father as he started horne
ward, that he might give
it into the hands of the
$3 little maiden herself. But
when they reached the
2r* - brown hut Dorothy was
f not there, and wheu re
peated calls brought no
* " nswer the two men,
alarmed, started in oppo-
L site directions to seek her,
Mr. Golden following the
l Y almost obliterated path
) up the mountain side,
I J' ■' where, n mile beyond, ho
! •* ' J found tlie little one al
y..'.;,' ) most burled in the falliug
snow, and as he stooped
to lift her in his arms she
"Dear, good murmured drowsily, see-
Ci ius " UI ta ,nB tbe klnd * ace l>eml,ll ß
over her:
"Dear, good Mr. Santa Claus, I
When she opened her wistful, dark
eyes again, the same kind face was
bending over her as she lay on her cot
in the little brown house, her father
holding her in his arms, while beside
her was the most beautiful doll of
which she had ever dreamed, and,
clasping it close to her heart, little
Dorothy asked with reverent Joy, the
dark eyes filled to overflowing:
"Dear Mr. Santa Claus, is you God
Why He Lniiithfd. .
Rylands, who had purchased a new
horse warranted to be quiet to ride aud
in harness and a good trotter to boot,
had invited a friend to accompany him
for a trial drive.
They had not gone very far when
the liorse bolted, ran against a heap of
stones lying In the road and pitched
both occupants violently Into the laue.
When they recovered, tlie horse had
disappeared, leaving the buggy shaft
less aud a heap of wreckage. Itylands
began to roar.
"What 011 earth aro you laughing
at?" dejectedly inquired the friend.
"Why, the fellow who sold me that
horse lent me the buggy!"— New York
WelllnKton na nil Art Connolaiaeiir.
In his "Reminiscences" Frederick
Goodall tells a story of Wellington as
an art connoisseur. He paid Wilkie
COO guineas for his "Chelsea Pension
ers" and laboriously counted out the
amount In cash. When the artist sug
gested that It would be less trouble to
Write a check, the great duke retorted
that he would not let his bankers
know "what it blank fool I have been
to spend 000 guineas for a picture."
* O-C—O-O'O-O-O-O-O^-O-O-O'O'O-O^-O—o-0-o*o-0-o^o-K>^o»9i
|| THE TWO I Sn L |
yX eg— C'tipi/rtflM, 190!, by £dirin Sdbin 0 AT
IT was a brilliant holiday 6tore,
the windows and the shelves and
the cases ablaze with filigree
and thronged with dolls and
dishes and engines and trains and
skates and sleds, and hobbyhorses
that galloped, and cows that mooed,
and mice that ran, and—and every
thing, absolutely everything, that-ever
enters the most rapturous Christmas
In the center of the large show win
dows, fronting upon the gay street
stood two soldiers. They were by all
odds the finest soldiers In the store,
much superior to the personnel com
posing the different troops and regi
ments and companies stationed here
and there along the aisles. The pah
were made of tin, to be sure; but they
were ol' heroic stature, eight inches
tall, richly uniformed In black and
yellow, and could be wound up 60 that
they would present arms several times
in succession.
The other soldiers, poor things, were
compelled to remain the whole time at
a "carry" or a "right shoulder" with
out relief.
Naturally these two soldiers were
proud and of aspirations reaching be
yond their present narrow quarters.
They pined for a wider sphere. Aa
they stood and stared with stern, fixed
gaze through the plate glass into the
gay street they talked together in toy
language, and none, not even the most
versatile linguists among the people
passing and repassing, knew that they
"Oh, to get away from this eternal
guard mount over a lot of frippery!"
sighed the one.
"With all my heart!" agreed the
other. "The monotony is frightful."
"I'd give half my solder to receive
orders to report to some little boy,"
continued the first "Oh, for a change!"
"But the majority of little boys are
so rough and careless," responded the
second. "I understand they scratch
you and bend you and mal
treat you without cause, and soon
you're done for. I prefer duty of a
more quiet, instructive nature, where
I may teach by means of my deport
ment rather than by violent action."
"Well, I should enjoy a hard drill
and a tussle, I believe," asserted the
"Our organism Is too fine for such
active service, my lad," indulgently
corrected the second. "What—scratches
and dents? No, no. Give me a post of
more elegance, where my uniform will
be treated as it deserves."
• ••••••
Christmas day had been over and
gone a month when after their separa
tion the two soldiers again encounter
ed one another, but this time in a great
of rubbish at the city dump,
where the dump man had unwittingly
thrown them out.
"Hurrah! Hello, old chap!" exclaim
ed the first soldier delightedly.
"Hello!" returned the second, with
rather more reserve. "Goodness! Been
through the Seven Years' war?"
Well might he put this query. The
other soldier was a perfect wreck. Ho
had lost an arm and a foot, his head
was sharply Inclined forward upon his
chest, he had only one eye, his body
was twisted askew, his gun was bro
ken, his cap was missing, his features
were battered and distorted, and as for
his uniform of black and yellow—there
was hardly a spot of paint on him!
"I—l've been having my tussle," an
nounced the first, with a cracked laugh.
"But you—why, you evidently found
Just what you were looking for."
"Yes," explained the second, "I fell
Into an excellent post. It was the
hands of a little boy, snro enough, but
he wasn't allowed to hurt me. See, I
haven't a marl; on me." And ho ex
hibited himself proudly.
True, he was still in dress parade
"Thunder and Mars!" chuckled the
first. "And look at me! Do you mean
to say that you never were stepped
on ?"
"Oh, no," replied the second. "I
didn't lie around on the floor. I was
put away Just as soon as he was done
playing with me. Ills mother had
made him a very orderly little boy."
"So you never stayed out all night
In the hall or in the middle of the sit
ting room?"
"Never," said the spick and span sol
"And did he shoot at you :wltl» his
rubber gun ever?"
"Never," said the spick and span sol
"And he didn't bite you to see how
soft you were?"
"Never," said the spick and span sol
"Or drag you about among the chairs
with a string?"
"Never," Raid the spick and span sol
"Or sick the terrier on you?"
"Never." "* ■)
"Or take yon to bed with him and
roll on you?" 1
"Never. I was always placed on the
shelf in the closet." ;
"Or kick you or whack you or throwi
"Never. Watch—l can present arms
as well as ever."
"Or kiss you and hug you with all
his nflght and cry for you when he
was sick through eating too much
"Never. He used to forget me en
tirely for days and days. Did your
boy really do all that to you?"
"Yes, all that and more," answered
the battered soldier softly.
"And did he kiss you, you say?"
asked the spick and span soldier a bit
"Yes; he kicked me and he kissed
me," laughed the first.
"And did you enjoy It?" pursued the
second curiously.
"I had the time of my life," declared
the other. "How did you find things—
up to your expectations?"
The spick and span soldier hesitated;
then he replied:
"Possibly. I can't complain. But—,
but somehow I grew dreadfully en
nuled." I almost longed at times for 1
more excitement, more energy. We
got tired of one another. After a day,
or so we exhausted all our programme
of proper exercises, and he was so cau
tious of wearing me out that I was
laid aside, and—and, finally, here I
am. I don't suppose he even knows
that I'm gone."
"Dear me!" mused the other. "I'm
glad my little boy was not like yours.'
Of course there are the knocks; but,:
oh, our companionship was sweet! I:
bet he's crying for me at this Instant, :
poor chum! Still. It Is as well that I;
am carted to the dump. I am old and!
disfigured and a back number, and I
wanted to go before he would cease to
miss me."
The spick and 'span soldier was si
"HI, yl!" soliloquized the veteran,
with a sigh and with a chuckle, stiffly
rolling over on his back. "I'm past re
pairs, but It was sweet—aye, it wasj
worth It! I—have —had—the —time—of '
And with his one eye he gazed
through a chluk In the debris up atiihe;
Freak* of the Tariff.
The following amusing details of the
freaks of the custom house are told in
the Munchener Zeltung: A German gen
tleman returning from southwest Afri
ca brought with him a tiny monkey,
weighing about two pounds. From'
Tanga to Genoa the animal was con
veyed gratis. Thence to the Swiss
frontier 15d. was charged on it as "a
bird.'' The St Gothard railway of
ficials, however, viewed it as "a dog,"i
and charged 75., while on the Eastern
Swiss railway It became a m<*re "pack-,
age," liable to Bd. Through Baden and'
Wurttemberg the animal was passedj
free, but at Stuttgart It again became"
"a dog" and cost another 17tL
Cockney Riddle*.
"Why is n crane like a well known
shellfish?" "Because it's an oyster" (a
It Is stated that a well known riddle
was written by a costermonger. The
riddle In question is a charade and
runs as follows:
Vly first's a little bird as 'ops.
My second's needful in 'ay crops.
My 'ole Is good with mutton chops.
The answer, of course, Is "sparrow
grass," which the learned Dr. Parr al
ways Insisted on using In preference to
the politer "asparagus."—Notes and 1
Fntlent Walters.
"Mary, what are you sitting out on
that damp porch for? Don't you know;
it's 11 o'clock?"
"George and I are looking for the
new comet, ma."
"But the new comet isn't due for.
several nights."
"Well, we are in no hurry, ma."—,
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Ku( S» Strnnite.
It doesn't seem so remarkable that aJ
diamond will cut glass when you con*'
elder that It will even make an lmpres-J
slon on a woman's heart.
The heart of a man Is never as hard l
aa his head.—Lamartine.
The fool sits down and worries about
the living the world owes him, but the
wise guy hustles around and collects
the Interest on the debt Chicago
One of the hard things to under
stand Is how such nice grandmothers
ns everybody lias ever could have been
mot her-lnlaws.