V ':'P"g.y'1 oiitnn rt--fj; :' - j- The whole art op Government consists in the art of beino honest. Jefferson. m VOL 9- STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA.; THURSDAY, MAY 24, 1849. No. 43 Jrffets lleimblicittt SET polished by Theodore Schocli. pn'ts Two dollars per annum in ndvancc Two dollars a nuaricr, half yearly and if not paid before the cnclof s Tr Two dollars anu a nan. mose wiio receive men ,w bva carrier or stage drivers employed by the proprie PrM be charged 37 1-2 cents, per year, extra. w-' nancrs discontinued until all arrearages are paid, except 'X r nntion ol tne tailor. i5SiHverucments not exceeding one square (sixteen lines) H& inerte.l three weeks for one dollar, and twenty-five ".Mr even' subsequent insertion. The charge for one and $l insertions the same. A liberal discount made to yearly letters addressed to the Editor must be post-paid. : jojb printing. . -a sjcneral assortment of large, elegant, plain andorna-s.-i.,i Tvnp. we are nreoarcd to execute every description of Cards, Circulars, Bill Heads, Notes, Blank Receipts, JUSTICES, LEGAL AND OTHER PAMPHLETS, &c. Printed with neatness and dcspatch.on reasonable teims AT THE OFFICE OF THE Jcffersoiiian Republican. How to make a Horse Drink. Our friend Judge Edmonds, who, amid all his dry labors, relishes a joke as well as another, tells some pleasant stories of incidents which some times occur on his country circuits. Among them is one connected with the temperance cause, which two or three years ago disturbed the State and ag itated all classes, by reason of the submission to the ballot-box on the question whether any licen ses to sell liquor should be granted. The Judge was holding court in the country at the lime the vote was taken, and for a week or two afterwards and looked on with a curious eye to see how the matter worked. He observed especially the fact, that the strongest vote against licenses was gener ally given in those towns where there was the most drinking, and that in those towns, and in deed generally, persons who had been in the hab it of drinking, now drank harder than ever, ap parently out of spite, and to show that they could drink if they pleased,- and, would, law or no law. He therefore remarked that he never saw 30 many drunken men in his life.- When he landed from the steamboat, the men who ferried him over the urer were drunk ; when he left the' small boat, the man who took him up into the village kept his horses on the run, and, drunk as a lord, prided himself on driving within a few inches of the edge of the road without precipitating his load, a hundred feet down a ravine. Every body, in short, seemed to be intoxicated ; witnesses and parties came in court half seas over. One wit ness fell in his whole length when leaving the stand ; another got asleep in court, rolled off the' bench, and had to be carried put of the room and another was so very " jolly," as they called it, he could not give his testimony in a sober word at all. One afternoon of a del?ghtful day, early in the season, after the court: had adjourned, the Judge was sitting on the porch of his hotel, with several gentlemen around him, whose attention he was calling to the number of drunken men then within sight; and he and they were specula- t:ng upon the effect of the law, and upon the odd sort of feeling which had produced such a re sult, when a man came up to them most particu larly tiosv. He had some business with one of tiie party, and, boozy as he was, showed that he was a smart, shrewd fellow, and withall full of fun. When he had got through his business, the Judge said to him " I suppose, my friend, you didn't vote on the 'Ko License1 side, this election ?" . "Didn't I, by ?" was the reply; "yes 1 did though, I tell you." "You did!" inquired the Judge;- "how did that happen 1" " Why, Judge, I'll tell you: what it is,1' hic cupped the fellow, " I'm a pretty likely man, when I let liquor alone ; it's only wricn I get rum aboard of me that I make a fool of myself." "Well, why don't you let it alone,' then V "Oh! you see Judge, that's easier said than done. When I'm any where's where it is', 1 must have it ; so I voted to shut 'em all up." "It's a great pity," said the Judge, "for so shrewd and intelligent a man as you seem to be, to have acquired such a habit. What' has done it t" "Oh! you see, Judge, I was constable five or ' years, and then deputy sheriff three years, and then sheriff three years, and then constable again; s I've been about a good deal among the boys; and got to drinking, and now I can't stop. Judge, I'll tell you what," he continued, .with an apparent change of the subject that no one could account fr " I am the universal horse-doctor down in the -Highlands, where I live, and if any body's horse Pis sick they dome to me. The other day a fel low came to me and said his horse was sick. 1 asked him what was the matter with his horse 1 He said he wouldn't drink, and he asked me, what he could do to make him! drink; I told him to ekct him constable, by thunder he'd drink then &st enough! I'd trkdv you see, a'rid knowl" The Dead Shot. Old Gordon, the merchant, sat one afternoon re cently in his counting room, sleepily gazing at the columns of a daily journal, and was gradually growing indifferent to all things around him through the medium of a pleasant doy.e, when he was aroused by an unusual noise outside of the win dow, and rising cautiously to his feet, he peered earnestly into the small back yard adjoining. This attracted the notice of one of his junior part ners, who coming quietly behind him, and gazing over his shoulder a moment without seeing any thing to satisfy his curiosity, earnestly inquired the cause of the excitement. The old gentleman motioning him to silence, whispering in his ear, said, " There's a rat in the spout .'" and rubbing his hands with quiet satisfaction, intimated also his intention of killing the reptile. Down stairs into the yard, on tip-toe, went old Gordon, followed as quietly by the junior and surely enough, there evidently appeared to be something scratching its way up the tin channel to tha roof. " Rap the spout with a stick !" says the old gent, which was promptly done ; but no rat came forth: A stick was poked in from below, but without the desired effect, though the inmate ap peared to be thrown into a great state of excite ment. In the midst of this gymnastic exercise, it sud denly occurred to the old gent that he had nothing to operate effectively with, in case they ejected the intruder ; so the junior was despatched to bring the old gun out of the fire-proof, and slip a few buck-shot into it ; and a few momeh't3 served to mount the old gent upon the window sill, of the adjacent coal-hole, poising skilfully in his hand a terrific looking shooting iron, as long as himself. " Now its coming !" shouted the junior, exult ingly ; and the old gent brought the piece prompt ly to his shoulder, trembling the while with the most intense earnestness, just as a dark object rushed from the spout. Slap I hang! went the shooting iron, and the old gentleman pitched back violently through the window. The smoke and report perfectly bewildered the junior, who re covered himself just in. time to see old Gordon's head above the window ledge, with his face beau tifully tattoed with charcoal, and hear him ex claim anxiously " Is it killed 1" " Dead as a door-nail !" shouted a voice above their heads, and, gazing up in astonishment, they saw the head of an urchin poked over the roof, while his outspread fingers gyrated pleasantly from the end of his nose. The junior, seized with a Sudden suspicion, hurried to the corner where the shot was lodged, and, looking down, exclaimed with some embarrassment " Why, it aint no rat, after all V1 44 Why !" said the old gent, doubtingly " gra cious me ; what is it, then !" " By thunder!" says the junior, darting through the door " it's only a stone with a string tied round it." Phil. Sunday Dispatch. GratelRoof. There is over 100,000 feet of gravel roofing in Cincinnati, Ohio. One or more firms make it a regular business to attend to the roofiing of houses with gravel. It is said to be proof against both fire and water. Dreams. The Yankee blade says Those who believe in dreams as foreshadowing coming events, will give us their eternal thanks, we irusf, for copying the annexed list of " signs." Every one of them has been tried and proved infallible : To dream of a millstone around your neck is a sign of what you may expect if you marry an ex travagant wife. To see apples in a dream betokens a wedding ; because where you find apples, you may reasona bly expect pairs. To dream that you are lame, is a token that you will get into a hobble. When a young lady dreams of a coffin, it beto kens that she should instantly discontinue the use of tight stays, and always go warmly and thickly shod in wet weather. If you dream 'of a clock, it is a token you will gain great credit that is, tick. To dream of fire is a sign that tfyou are wise you will see that all the liglits in your house are out before you go fo bed. To dream of walking barefoot, denotes a journey that will be bootless. To dream of eggs, is' a sign that you will dis cover a mare's nest. Additional Curiosities. A receipt in full of the dews of eve! Copy a of temperance paper printed on a cider press. A leg of a toad-stool, - Rattle" used by the Christian Watchman. A pig from the pen that wa& mightier than the sword. . ..... Knot from trie board ol i'ore.ign Missions. The bowsprit of a dog's bark. The Slibwman Outwitted. A SKETCH OF THE PRIMATIVE MENAGERIE The menagerie was in town. A rare occur rence was an exhibition of the wild beasts, li ons, tigers, polar bears, and ichnuemons, &c. at Baltimore, at the early day of which we are writing, yet they came occasionally, and this time were visited by old Nat Wheatley, a jolly, weaiherbeaten boatman, well known in Balti more as an inveterate joker, who never let any one get to the windward'of him. He was fur thermore a stutterer of the first class. Nat visited the menagerie. As he entered, the showman was stirring up the monkey and tormenting the lion, giving elalaborate descriptions of the various propen sities and natural peculiarities of each and all. 4 This, ladies and gentlemen, this, 1 say, is the Afrikin Lion. A noble beast he is, ladies and gentlemen, as is called the king-of the for est. I have often heard that lie makes nuthing of devouring young creatures, of every descrip tion, when at home in the woods. Certing it is that no other beast can whip him!' 4M-m-mister V interrupted Wheatley, d-do y-you say he ca-a-nt be whipped V 4 I duz,' said the man of lions and tigers. 4Wha-at 'ill you bet I ca-ant fetch a critter what'll whip him V 4 1 ain't a bettin' man, at all. Bui I don't ob ject to takin' a small bet to that effect.' 4 I'll b-b-bet I ca-an f-f-fetch some-thin that'll whip him. Wha-at s-say to a hundred d-d-dollars V Now there were several merchants in the crowd who knew Wheatley well, and were fully convinced that if ihe bet was made, he was sure of winning. So he had no difficulty in finding 4 backers,' one of them told him he would give him ten gallons of rum if he won. The menagerie man glanced at his lion. There he crouched in his cage, his shaggy mane bristling, and his tail sweeping, the very picture of grandeur and majesty. The bribe was tempting and he felt assured. 4Certing, sir,- certing ; 1 have no objections to old Hercules, taking about with any cretur you may fetch.' lVe-ve-very well,' said Nat, 'it's a b-bet.' The money was planked up, and the next night was designated for the terrible conflict. The news was spread over Baltimore', and at an early hour the boxes 6f the spacious theatre were filled the pit being cleared for the af fray. Expectation was on tip-toe, and H was with' great impatience that the crowd awaited the arrival of Wheatley. He at length entered, bearing a large bag or sack on his shoulders, which as he let it fall upon the floor was ob served to contain some remarkable hard and heavy substance. The keeper looked on with indignation. 4 Where's your animal V he inquired. 4 Th-th-there,'said Nat, pointing with his fin ger at the bag. 4 Well what is it V asked the man with in creasing astonishment. 4 Th-th-that, l-l-!adies and gen'lemen,' said Nat, gesticulating like the showman, 4 is a wh- wh-whimbamper !' 4 A whimbamper V echoed the keeper. 4 Thai's certainly a new feature in zoology and anatomy. A whimbamper ! well let him 6iil,' and clear tho ring, or old Herculus may make a mouthful of both of you.' The keeper was excited. Accordingly Nat raised the bag, holding the aperture downwards, and out rolled a huge snapping turtle while the cheers and laughter of the audience made the arches ring. 4 There he is !' said Wheatley, as he tilted the 4 Whimbamper,' over with both hands, and set him on his legs. The snapper seemed; unconscious of his peril. Wheatley was about leaving the ring when the keeper swore that his lion should not dis grace himself by fighting such a pitiable foe. 1 V-very well,' said Nat, if y-y-you ch-choose to g-give me the hu-u-ndred dollars ' 4 But it's unfair !' cried the shoman. The audience interposed and insisted upon the fight. There was no escape, and the show man reluctantly released the lion making him self secure on the top of the cage. The majestic beast moved slowly around the ring, snuffing and lashing, while every person held his breath in suspense. Lions are prying beasts, and this one 'was not long in discover ing the turtle, which lay; on the floor, a huge inanimate mass. The lion soon brought his nose in close proximity to it, which the turtle not liking, popped out his his head, and rolled its eyes, while a sort of wheeze issued from its savagerous mouth. The lion jumped back, turn ed, and made a spring" at the critter, which was now fully prepared for his reception. As the lion landed on him, th,e turtle fastened his ter rific jaws on the lion's nostrils rendering him powerless to do harm yet with activity of limb, bri bounded around the circle,' growled, roared, and lashed himself, but the snapper hung on, seeming iff enjoy the ride vastly. Go it', whimbamper !' cried Wheatley from ihe boxfes. The scene was rich. The showman was no lcss enraged than the lion. Drawing his pistol, he threatened Nat with terrible threats, that if he did'ht take his turtle off, he'd shoot him. 4 Ta-ta-take him off yourself!' shouted Nat in reply. At this critical moment; by dint of losing a portion of his nose, the lion shook his danger ous foe from him, and clearing the space be tween himself and the cage with a bound, he slunk quietly in, to chew the bitter cud of de feat and pain. It was a fair fight, all declaring that the 4 whimbamper' was the victor. The money was paid to Nat, who left the theatre, delighted at the success of his whim. The next morning he carried his turtle to market and sold him. So this valiant champion, after conquering the kins of beasts, served to make a dinner for Baltimore epicures. All that is herein written is supposed to be true, though highly colored and is doubtless 'green in the memory' cf many old citizens of the monumental city. If We only had a Piano. A SHORT STORY WITH A GOOD MORAL. 4This is pleasant,' exclaimed a young hus band, taking his seat cosily in the rocking chair, as the tea-things, were removed. The fire glowed in the grate, revealing a prettily and neatly furnished sitting-room, with all the ap pliances of comfort. The fatiguing business of the day was over, and he sat enjoying, what he had all. day been anticipating, the delights of his own fireside. His pretty wife Esther took her work and sat down by the table. 4It is pleasant to have a home of one's own,' he said, again taking a satisfactory survey of his snug little quarters. The cold rain beat against the windows, and he thought he felt really grateful for all his present enjoyments. 4Novf, if we only had a piano I'satd the wife. 4Give me the music of your own sweet voice before all the pianos in creation,' he declared complimeatarily, despite a secret disappoint ment that his wife's thankfulness did riot h ap ply chime with his own. 'Well, but we want one for our friends,' said Esther. 4 Let our friends come and see us, and not to hear a piano !' 4Bul, George, everybody has a piano, now-a-days ; ,we don't go anywhere without seeing a piano.' " 4Ahd yet I don't know what we want one for ; you will have no time to play on one, and 1 don't like to hear it.' 4 Why, they are 06 fashionable I think our room looks naked without one.' 4I think it looks just right.5 4I think it looks very naked we want a pi ano shockingly,' protested Esther. The husband rocked violently. 4 Your lamp smokes, my dear,' he said after a long pause. 4 When are you going to get a solar lamp ! I have told you a dozen times how much we need one,' said Esther pettishly. 4 Those will do.' 4But you know, everybody now-adays wants solar lamps.' 'Those lamps are the prettiest of the kind 1 ever saw ; they were bought at Boston.' 4But, George, I do not think our room is com plete wilhout a solar lamp,' said ihe wife, sharp ly they are so fashionable. Why, the s, B s, and A s, all haVe them. I am sure we ought to. 4 We ought to, if we take patiern by other people's expenses, and I don't see any reason for that. Wo want to live within our means,' exclaimed George. 41 am sure I should think we could afford n as well as the B's, and L's, and many otriers we might mention ; we do not wish to appear mean.' 4George's cheek crimsoned. "Mean ! I am not mean !" he cried angrily. Then yon do not wish to appear so,' said the wife. 'To complete this room and make it like others, we want a piano and a solar lamp.' lprjsong- of- lne DO(jg0 under the Canal of the 'We want we want!' muttered the husband ;jn., f . . Vp'm. nnlv thar Here and 'there's no satisfying woman's wants, do what you may !' and he abruptly left the room. How many husbands are in a similar dilemma! How many.home8 and husbands are rendered uncomfortable by the constant dissatisfaction of a wife wilh present comforts and present provisions. How many bright prospects for business have ended in bankruptcy and ruin, in order to gratify this secret hankering after fashionable necessaries ! If the real ca'use of many a failure could be made known, it would be found to result from Useless expenditure at home expenses to answer the demands ol fashion, and 4what will people say of us V My wife has mad'e myv fortune,' said a gon tloman of great possessions, 4by her thrift, pru dence and cheerfulness, when I was just be ginning. And" miri'e has lost my fortune, said bis com panionbitterly, 4by useless extravagance, and repining when I waV dbing-' well.' What a world does ihis open .of the influence which a wife possesses over the .future prosperity of her family ! Lt the wife know her influence, and try to use it 'wtiely. Be satisfied to commence small. It is too common for young housekeepers to begin where their mothers ended. Buy all that is neces sary to work skilfully with ; adorn your house with all that will render it comfortable. Do not look at richer homes and covet their costly furniture. If secret dissatisfaction is ready to' spring up, go a step further, and visit the homes of the poor and suffering behold dark, cheer less apartments, insufficient clothing, and ab sence of the comforts and refinements of social life; then return to your own with ajuyfuf spirit. You will then be prepared to meet your husband vvith a grateful heart, and ready to ap. preciate that foil and self-denial which he ha endured in his business with the world to sur round you with all the delights! of home. Then you will be ready to co-operate cheerfully with' thim in so arranging your expenses, that his mind will not be constantly harassed with fears lest family expenditures may encroach upon public payments. Bo independent. A young housekeeper nev er needed greater moral courage than she does to resist thai arrogance of fashion. Do not let the A's and B's, decide what you must have,' neither let them hold the strings of your pures. You know best what you can and ought to af ford ; then decide with strict integrity accor ding to your means. Let not the censures or the approval of the world ever tempt you to buy what you hardly think you, can afford. It matlars little what they think, provided you are true to yourself and family. Thus pursuing an independant, straight for ward, consistent course of action, there will spring up peace and joy all around you. Sat isfied and happy yourself, you will make your husband so, and your children will feel the wa,rm and sunny influence. Happy at home, your husband cart go out into the world with a clear hea'd and self-relying spirit ; domestic bickering will not sour his heart, and he will return to you again with a confiding and un ceasing love. Depend upoja ii, beauty, wit, ac complishments, have far less to do with family comfort, than prudence, economy and good sense. A husband may get tired of admiring, but never with the comfortable consciousness that his receipts exceed his demands. When you have done eating your dinner, al ways pick your teeth with ypur fork ;' it is a prodigious saving of goose-quills. A' Monster Bedbug. Barnum the proprt ertor of the American Museum in this city, is a droll fellow. Among the natural curiosiiiea" which he has lately added to his collection, is a Ifve bedWg from' Chagres", saidt to be nearly as large as a pewter platter ! Cockroaches, and centipedes protect us ! whoever heard of such aroohster 1 We suppose he must Inve carried the young negroes around on his back, and made a meal off them at leisure. New York Dispatch. Xtjr " Father," said a four year old child,' 44 1 think you are a fool." " Why my child ?" r 44 Because you have brought that baby here' when mother is s'ick, and you have to get' woman to tak'e care of it." " Go, rock the cradle, Lucy, no more of your jabber." . : Secrets of the Inquisition. The correspondent of the London Daily Nsws decribes a visft he? had to the many small, dark and damp dungeons of the inquisition at Rome, which have lately been thrown open to the public. It is out of the beaten track behind St. Peters. The correspondent says : The officer in charge led me down to where the men were digging in the vaults below ; they had cleared a downward flight of steps', which was choked up With old rubbish, and had come toV series of dungeons under the vaults deeper still, and which immediately brought to my mind the Bridge of Sighs there was a surpassing horror. I sav embedJed' in old masonry, unsyrametrically" arfanged five skeletons in various recesses, and the clearance had only just begun ; the period of their insertion' in this spot must have bsen more than a century and a half. From another vault, full of skulls' and scattered human remains, there was a shaft about four feet'square ascending perpendicularly to the first floor of the building, and ending in a passage of the hall of the chancery, where a trap door lay between the tribunal and the way into a suite of rooms destined for one of the officials The object ol this shaft could admit of but one surmise. The ground of the vault was made up of decayed animal matter, a lump of which held embedded in it a long silken lock of hair, as I found by personal examination as it was shoveled up from below;'. But this is not alh th'ero are two large subterranean lime-kilns; if I may so call theiri, shaped like a bee- .hive in masonry, filled with layers of calcined' bonrs, forming' the sub stratum of two other chambers on the ground floor in the immediate vicinity of tho very mysterious shaft abovr mentioned; l Wwy J 4
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