h m j lA' J it' &si. ' h Pi- K i les are er via Tb Ff ei. l! -ips 'ora ) i It Is better to-w-mstte then whine: It to better to laugh than to cry, for though it U cloudy, the sua will aooa bine, . Actom the blue, beautiful sky. It is better to nliistle tlinn whine, O ninn, with the sorrowful brow. Let the words nf the chile suaMei Baas tnurn of thine. And gather his cheerfulness now. It is better to whistle than whine. Poor mother! no weary with care. Thank God for the love and the peace that are thine. And the joy of thy little onea share. It la better to whistle than whine. Though troubles yon find in your way. Remember that wise little fellow of nine. And whistle your whining away. God blew that brave boy for the cheer He brought to this sad heart of mine; When tempted to murmur, that young voice I hear, "It is better to whistle than whinel" WaTeriey Magazine. FINALE. FHILO SOPHEn once observed that a man's character could be better Judg ed by the books and and room he keeps than his company. Cyril Graves, ear ly in life, had devot ed himself to the study of politics, and all his bo;es and fears were cen tered In that en graving pursuit. One Wednesday evening he was sitting smoking in his chambers, deeply engrossed In a blue book, when he beard a gentle knock on his door. in:" he shouted, thinking It f L'uie was bis man, and again buried himself in his book. Tie door opened and shut quietly and he s:ill read on, and then suddenly looked np. There, standing in a de jected attitude, was the wreck of what had been a lovely woman. Graves sprang to bis feet, his face pale an? stern, for, rn front of him. was his Justly divorced wife. "You! Bertha! Here la my rooms!" He moved over to the bell. "Don't ring it!" she wailed; "I watch ed your servant go out, and wanted to speak to you, ah, so badly." "Xow look here, Bertha you drag ged my name In the dust you nearly ruined my career, and now, when you have been Jiiaily punished, you come back. What do you want? money?" Ills tones were Icy In their coldness, and the weak, degraded creature be fore him shivered a she heard the last words. "Cyril I've no right to come to you. I know, but the world is so cold and wretched to a woman, and God alone knows how low I've fallen. Cannot you take me back?" She sank Into a chair, and began to cry silently. "Take you back!" he cried, his eye glittering with fury, whilst, with un even strides, he paced the room; "take you back and become the laughing aock of London! What! Go and nis- .te in some dreary hole until vou left me again? You forget what you are." The Insult lashed fresh life and spirit Into the cowering woman. "And who made me what I am?" she said, with her color rising, and her breath eemlng and going rapidly. "Not I," he replied, with a sneer. "If not you. who did? When you first men ate at my father's rectory I was as simple-minded a girl as anyJn th land. You made me man-- JU ' did you not?" Her tone was ta neu suppose I aid T" heTvrered. "SteeMTiif. "You took me to a dull bouse In this London town, and there yon left me. N5ht after night you went to your po litical rowings and to your Houne of Commons' . ami trnve me what was left of your time. You fed me and clotliod me, ICs true, and there It ended. You encouraged me to mix In society, and never troubled te protect me as you should have done: and then, when 1 left you. more from heart sickness .ir,j from a dealre to be loved and petted by some one than from any other cause, yos divorced me, and received the con dolence of your Wends. Bah! you art the mai who la responsible for ray roia, and you only. Money! I scorn your money, and never until I die will I trouble you again." She left the room abruptly, leaving Graves a prey to the most conflicting emotion. Her indictment was. be felt only too true, arvi a feeling of shame oasie eror him. He unlocked his safe and took out hif will, and read it slowly through, tuet took a sheet of paper and wrote rapid ly. and replaced both in the safe. "There!" lie said. "I shall never mar ry agiiin. ami If I die before her, whe knows, it may make a difference If sh ha-'te control of money. If I coulc in ;.t..C-' rime over again!" .;.i.uMi'i:' ' debate was over, and Cyrl j.i3 rit't li-'' Its hero. Secure Is the self v.m rf biuii' a thorough knowledge ol .niberl'J (rive lis possessor, be had 1 ..v. rn-i sat djwa gmigt a chorus ol o un iess isr -cnefrsi In tbe i0bDT hl trv,'rsy Y11'1 crowded around him wltt -.,-iV, in 1 ...1... 1 . , 1 " r1"'" a"u' "rCT" ! Id itiiuu tj tr. 1.'. .i m 1 ua l mo u.i,. c E p'l j obscure private member wer ol ' The larger life of a leader ol . .. . with all Its brilliant possibilities , .ijt'd to lie open before him, and hi toe u . fcLJvo . .iiet down his overstrained n""- e he took his iiat and coat, and, althougt It was long past midnight, made bit nav to the Embankment, a favoriti tr. when There vr' U' ir '.it fleet ttionsrtit. Tbere cfa full moon, anl tlie night wasvery still, and. lost in "ev.-i i .. . . . V. 1 , A be Iw I ! over me uaiuaii nuc J guzt.-! i.vjjl- upon the glisterjing, sll- river Iwiow him. 1 '!.! utter peace and and quietude of tl:e s.-one soothed him, and he was Just a!--uf to leave when a heavy band was l."M upon his Bhoulder. "Don't do It, sir think over It," was iiiiiM.?red In bis ear. !!e turned sharply, and found a po-:i-v:ium looking at him with comnils rr.iMon. Cixwl fIoI! constable, you don't ' jTk I'm poing to Jump In the river, Jo you? Man alive! Can't any one ulk on the Embankment without do - t!:.it?" Aren't you Mr. Graves, the member f'r K.ist liui !:s. sir?" said the man. is. I am: we had a hot debate at :.p II:v.:se, and I strolled here to cool i .'.vu before turnlnc in. How did you i.::o'.v 1:1c?" queried 1 raves. "Lord bless you. sir, I'm a Bucks 'r.nn myself, and a stanch supporter of .:'-.:rs. But don't ee, sir, come here -isMn lil:e tUls; it ain't safe, for we call ir one nf the most risky beats In Lou duu. We get down here men as are 4t.syera.te for want of toed and ahel- tar. I believe half the twti.es t-. j oat of the river come from aloof aero." There waa sacs a I easing la the asan'e ton that Graves waa ton eked, ana fait In his pocket for soma money. Buddealr, eighty yards np, he saw a figure outlined against the sky, and then disappear witfc a load shriek aad a splash Am awful cry of "Heir eefeeed through the still night air. "Good God, sir, a wemaa'a gone la and I can't swim a stroke," (Tossed the policeman. "What shall we do?" "Dor said Graves, TD go 1 aoyeelf. Get on the pier below hero, for the tide will bring us down, and 70a may be able to lend a hand." Whilst he spoke be tore off bis boots, slipped off his coat and trousers, and stood for an Instant on the balustrade looking for the suicide. "Help! help!" she shrieked, coming once more to the surface. With a mat tered prayer Graves dived Into the water. Coming up, he shook the water from Ms bead and eyes, and wHh a long, graceful side-stroke made for the sinking woman. AU his faculties were keenly awake; be felt that power, life, and reputation Itself were nothing to the delight of saving some despairing creature from a terrible death. The policeman cheer ed him on with hearty shouts, and he spurted Just In time to clutch the wom an by the hair. To his horror be say that H waa his cast-off wife. "Let me sink!" she gasped. "Never!" he said, between his teeth. "You said I was responsible for your fall. I'll not be so for your death. Put your bands on my hips and 111 do all I can; don't struggle, but kick out when I do. Come, Bee," an old, old diminu tive of fond days, "try and live." The woman did as she was told, and, perhaps, loved and reverenced him more In those few minutes than ever she had before. With dogged pluck Graves put forth all his strength, bnt he knew he waa falling. Hla breath came and went In great gasps, and his arms felt like lead; an awful desire to rest came over him, which the woman seemed to guess. me drown, Cyril; save yourself." she said. "It's all right, air," shouted the con stable, "a few more stroke and I can help you." It was too late, however, for even as the man's friendly band closed on the woman's drees Graves fell back er haunted and sank like s log. A woman, whom all the night po licemen know and respect, haunts the foul places of London, night after night, relieving and comforting the lost of both sexes. There Is an unknown benefactor who gives royally to the homes and shelters of outcast London, and who never tires of giving. And one day a woman, whose good deeds will never be chronicled by man, will enter the workhouse utterly des titute, and will await In meekness and quietude the call that will terminate her chequered career forever. St Paul. Big Voice, Hasp Rad. "That winter," said the man who lets boats and does general utility work about a summer resort during the sea son, "I decided to do something easier than to go Into the woods and do heavy work In the lumber camps. 80 I got hold of a grapbophono. a magic lantern, and a mixed lot of vlewa about which I fixed up a running lecture that I thought would make a hit. I waa do ing first-rate In the little towns In the upper part of the State and refused s couple of good offers to sell out. "About the middle of the winter I went to the Indian village at the hvsd of Burt Lake, and when the time for exMhi fhe hn..y Ue 01 whit nleai iBe nlrtn 1 vwuioi sadlence, but I TTver got a EW got s Erod or s laugh. Just te see if I couldn't warm them into some show of enthusiasm, I turned on s comic song from the grapbopbone. "It stirred them, but not In the war I end boped. By the time the end of the first verse was reached half a doa en of the old men of the village were holding a council la the middle aisle. Tfaey Jabbered away In a language I could not understand, and nothisg could be read from their faces. That something was wrong, however, ap peared in the fact that the eyes of the youngsters seemed popping out of their heads and the squaws held tketr ear as they watched the old men. "The latter advanced solemnly to the little staKe, saying notbr but emit ting significant grunts, hey were bent on seeing where that voice came from, and no protest of mine received the slightest attention. They looked In every possible hiding place, ripped np the floor, and finally took all my ma chinery apart. They became angry be cause mystified, lod me down to tlie little boat on which I had eonae, threw my traps In, and ordered me to leave. "The lake was boiling; It wss pitch dark: I was nervous, sad before I reached the east shore I had lost every thing but the boat, to which I clnng. I quit the stage and took to the weeds." Detroit Free Press. Newspapers' Stability. A queatlon that was frequently asked : was: "What will become Of the Sun ' now that Dana Is dead?" The Inquiry i is based on a mistaken Ides. A great i newspaper Is far more than an lsdlvld ' uality, no matter how eminent its editor may be. It Is an secretion of years and of effort In many departments, and when It reaches the first rank has passed far beyond the limits of s single personality. The great newspaper Is in some de gree the creation of the public Kself, who, appreciating Its firm principle and intelligent championship of the j-'t make It their forum. A Journal of this high order and broad Influence Is Interwoven with current history, and has a perpetuity like the tide of human life. When It loses a laborer of excep tional ability the event Is deplored, but the paper goes forward without mlss nig a step. One day's issue of a newspaper hi the work of many brains and bands. Like an army, It needs a general. Like an army, H survives t. general, and, as the chain of human affairs Is unbroken, so the continuity of n leading Journal 1 preserved. Globe-Democrat. Her Intuit on. Helen What do you think, dear Harry Benedict proposed te me las' evening! Louise I could have guessed K. Helen Why? Ixralso I refused him the eveniut before, and when be left me I knew by his look that he Intended do aave thing desperate. I Rr wtt b ueilMtiy yourself, yon will discover that you are patient only at times when noth ing occurs to make you impatient. Biggest of Recreation Gvoands. Epplng forest is the largest public recrsettsn ground la tkm wseid. C. .OLATf C3 OAOACU aTsw Xt Orswa sjsd the Methods et lro patriae It tor Use, . t The Mexicans call the beverage com posed of the pounded seeds of the cacao tree chocolate. -The tree la a handsome one, twelve Is sixteen feet high; the (not upright, and about Ire feet long; the wood, light In weight aad what in color; the ' bark, brownish. 1 The leaves are lanceolate, oblong, , bright green, quite entire; the flowers ' are small, reddish end inodorous. The fruit Is smooth, of a yellow or red tinge, and about three Inches In disnv ' eter; the rind Is fleshy, about half an 'inch In thickness, flesh-colored; within the pulp Is white, of the consistency of batter, separating from the rind j when ripe, and adhering only to it by ' filaments, which pentrats it and reach I to the seeds. Hence it la known when the aeeds are ripe by the rattling of the capsule when K la shaken. The pulp has s sweet and not unpleasant taste, with a slight acidity. It la suck ed and eaten raw by the natives. The seeds are about twenty-live is number; when fresh they are of s flesh color; gathered before they are quite ripe, they preserve them la sugar, and thus they are very grateful te the palate. They quickly lose their vegetation If taken out of the capsule, but kept in It they preserve that power for a long time. The tree bears leaves, flowers and fruit all the year through; but the usual seasons for gathering the fruit are June and December. In two years It Is about three feet high, and spreads Its branches, not more than five of which are suffered to remain; in three years It begins to bear fruit. A tree yields from two to three pounds of seeds annually. The seeds are nourish ing and agreeable to most people, and are generally used In South America' and In the West India Islands. The seeds of the cacao were made use of as money In Mexico, In the time of the Aztec kings, and this use of them Is still partially continued, the smaller seeds being employed for the purpose. The lowest denomination of coin money current In Mexico Is of the value of about twelve cents; and as there must arise many pretty transac tions of business to a lower amount the convenience of these seeds, six of wl Ich are reckoned as the value of one ceit. must needs be very great. Cacao Is principally used after bav in; been made Into cakes, to which the name of chocolate Is given. The meth od anciently employed by the Indians in making these cakes wag simply to roast the seeds in earthen pots, and af ter clearing them from the busks, which by reason of the heat employed could be easily removed, the naked seeds were bruised between two stones aud made up with the hands into cakes. The process at present used by Europeans does not differ greatly from that Just described; more care Is taken In grinding the seeds after they are roasted, so as to convert them Into a paste which Is perfectly smooth, and some flavoring lngredienta are added, according to the taste of the people who are to consume the chocolate. Clovea and etna men are much used for this purpose by the Spaniards; other aroma tics, and eves perfumes, such as musk and ambergls, have sometimes been added; but the principal flavor ing Ingredient used with cacao la va nilla. Waa Their Meaning; tb. RaaaaT "If," said the druggist, y'you will give this new preparation a trial I'm sure you will never use any" other." "o, ' replied me invalid, "profs my not." One on Him. "That's the time I got the Joke os yon," exclaimed the lead pencil to the paper, as the humorii completed the pun. St. Louis Republic. Hard Cash. "Are you going to use bricks In th construction of your house?" asked a friend. "No," replied the owner of the prop erty, as he glanced over the estimata furnished by the contractor, "rocks." The Female Cook Agent. Timklns There goes a woman wit. a history. Slmkins Yes. I know; she was in my office yesterday trying to sell me a i-opy on the installment plan. Then She Took Him In. He (looking out at the window) It's so bright and cheerful with'-- - ' cold and gloomy without. She Without what? He Why, without you, deareai. UNJOYQ Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs ia taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to the taste, and acta gently yet promptly on the Kidneya, Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys tem effectually, dispels colds, head aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is tho only remedy of its kind ever pro duced, pleasing to tho lasts and ac ceptable to tlit: stomach, prompt ia its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities commend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. try nip of Figs is for sale in 50 cent bottles by all leading drug gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it. Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIB SYRUP CO. SAM FKAHCiaCO, CAL. iwmnu. at. e torn, It ' llore WeeVaiaga ta the- Coast?- T la a very noticeable fact. MaJ. Luak, who is authority on the question with .reference to Hymen, "that there are not as many city chaps getting married nowadaya as there are country boys. In some Instances the country boy marries a city girl, bnt not very often. The city boy seldom,. If ever, marries a country jrlrl. Of course, the city boy does not Ilka to marry where there Is a disparity of minds, for, as Dicksss says, those people can never live happy.' What do I think ia the cause of it? Why, 1 think the coun try boy is more economical wHh the money be earns than tbs boy of the city. He can do better on $25 a month than a boy reared rn the city eaa with fOO. Then again, when the country boy marries he goes on a tract of land given him by hla father or bought with hard earned money." Jefferson OHy Cou rier. Oalaed Forty-Klgnt TmrnmUm. "I had a strong appetite for liauor, which was the beginning of the breaking down ot ny health. I was also a slave to tea and eoffoe drinking. I took the gold euro, ba it did not help me." This is s portion of aa interview ollppoc from the Daily Herald, ol Clinton, lose It might well bo taken for the subject of a temperance lectors, bat that ia not our ob ject ia publishing It. It U to show how a system, run down by driiik snd disease, may bo restored., we caunoi uo Doner iiui quote runner iroin t- m r from s I I wss p. no my I dd not I or reel I L tunt ol r Tor years 1 wss unable to i work. I could sleep nights or days on aeoount WIILIUNUUD pallia . r my stomach and r .1 : , buck. I was unable to digest my food. Jieaascnes ana painful urination were frequent, and mv h-.'art's action became Increased. I loft my farm and retired to city life, for I was a con firmed invalid, and the doctors sai l 1 would never bo well Again. "Soon afterl hap pened to use fonr boxes of Dr. Will iams' Pink Pills for to orrt un. Pale People, aud siuoe then I have sees free from all pnin, hend:tclio aad dyspepsia.; I eat heartily and have no appetite tor strong drink or tea or coffee, and fool twanty years younger. "My weight has increased 4 pound. I cannot ssy too tnuob for Dr. Williams' Pink Pills and olalm that they hava cured me. "Jobs B. Cook." Subscribed and sworn to before ma this sixteenth day of Fnbruary, 1897. A. P. BiUKEit, Notary Public. . To people run down in health, from what ever causa drink or disotse the above in terview will ba of Interest, The truth of it is unloubto 1, as thn st itamnnt is sworn to, and we reproduce tua oatli bora. For any further facts concerning this medicine write to Dr. Willimns' Medloina Company, 8cbeneatady, N. V. : The name and aldressof the subject of above Interview is John B. Cook, ot 308 South Stb Ktraet- Lyon. Iowa. KING OF PICKPOCKETS Police So Dob Fred It., Who Haa Jnat Died in London.! Fred II., king of pickpockets, has Just passed away in London, says the New York Sun. Like his predecessor, Fred II. was well known on the turf both in England aud in France, and whenever a turfman's poeketbook waa jsptured by aoy of his ir.ajesty'a out poets an audience with the monarch was all that was necessary to secure its prompt return to the lawful owner. People not connected with the turf were lees fortunate. One day Fred made a bet that he mould pick the pocket of the Prince of Wales. The thing seemed to be abso lutely Impossible, because many of the Trince's friends knew Fred very well and the difficulty of getting close enough to blni to capture his pocket book was insurmountable. But It was a simple matter for the king. He picked the" Prince's pocket and won his bet. The ties of royalty are great and strong. The king re turned the pocketbook to the Prince, and the latter, of course, could not think of prosecuting a king. He laugh ed at the Joke and complimented Fred on his skill as a pickpocket. It was ambition that ruined Fred. He wanted to perform an exploit tn the pocket-picking line that wonld eclipse all his prev'ous performances. He de termined to relieve Karon Ilirsch of the burden of his heavily loaded purse. He approached the philanthropist in his usual courtly way, but unfortun ately for the king the baron recognized him Immediately. "My dear Fred," suid he, "you have come too late. I have Just lost all my money on the favorite. Be good enough to honor me with your atten tion another day, aud be sure to come before the race." Fred saluted with great dignity and departed, and after that began to go down hill. He aoon after abdicated and lived a retired life In a little house in one of the suburbs of London. His star bad set. Many curiosity-seekers attended the funeral of Fred, and upon feeling for their money and Jewelry after return ing home discovered that they had in fact been at a pickpocket's funeral. Professional fingers had been set work ing in honor of the dead. A modern Dick Turpln. Fred was good-natured, fond of children, and generous with the money of other peo ple. His bank accouut waa never overdrawn, and be never had any hesi tation about helping a poor fellow out. A few shillings or a few pounds to him amounted to nothing. There were al ways plenty of available pocketbook to call upon whenever be was short. Hewed Ilia Lips Together. One of the queerest freaks, even fot an Insane person, was discovered at the State Insane asylum at Columbus. Ohio. Alex. Myatt, a middle-aged patient In , the Institution, has always complained , of the food furnished by the State, and j has threatened to starve himself to dth rather than eat It, but aa the food was all right the attendants con sidered Myatt'a complalnlnge aa the workings of an affected brain. One morning last week, however, when he waa called to breakfast, he shook his head to Indicate, to the attendant that he desired nothing to eat, and that functionary, supposing be had lost his appetite through sickness, sent one of the hospital physicians to him. The doctor was astonished on bis arrival to find that Myatt had sewed his lips to gether so that he could not open tnem in the least. The work had been done ! wiib a needle and thread stolen from 1:11 atunuunt, and had been done very thoroughly .-many stitches having been taken. The physicians removed the stitches and Myatt is being fed on milk ; and brandy for a while, his Hps being too sore from thl- laceration to per- ' mlt of his eating solid food. If blood poisoning does not set In, he will proba bly recover from the effects of his crazy freak. Allington Ia Fierson, the mlUlo aire, a good church member? Ieacon Wadhams I thould think ha was. wny, tne rest 01 us qooi nav to subscribe hardly anything ta keep affair gols 1 I w, V T rtxr ST. JACOBS OILsciatica Tsea all aiast knew how easily and - RHEUMATIC. CHILDREN'S COLDMW. DEPARTMENT FOR LITTLE BOYS AND OIRL8. Bnntetkinc that Will Xatsrsst the J senile Mam Sen ef very Hesaehold -Qaslat Actisas sag Bright Saylsara of Many Cats aad Cunning Children. Where tho 6na Um The sua lives down behind the weed. Behind the wood at night he geest All by myself I found It out There's so one else tbst knowal All by myself I watched and watched. When nurse danced baby en her knees; I watched the sun slip down and down. Laughing- behind the trees. My father says that when I'm big I'll find the sub's house is the sky; My mother says the sun Uvea ap Higher than the clonda ia kigkl 80. I'm the only one that knows What place the sun takes aU the light, When ho is tired he pops te tea Behind tho wood at night! From "Ked Apples aud Silver Bens" Little Japo ao Athlete. Athletics and gymnastics form aa Important part In school llfs In Japan. In the large plsygroonds attached to every school the children are drilled, boys and girls forming aquares, march ing and countermarching. The atten tion given by the Japanese to providing the children proper accommodation for out-door exercise, both In wet and dry weather. Is worthy of Imitation. It la s pretty picture to see between 100 and 200 little Japa pouring from one of the largo city schools in their quaint cos tumes. The contrast between the school bnlldlngs, which are two stories high and painted, and the native bouses Is very great Canary Ate the Cat Orsndmn'o Candy Rtnry. "There you are with another bag ot candy, I declare! What with choco late and kisses, caramels sad lemon balls, and I don't know what all, you children nowadays can hardly know where to begin eating candy, nor when to stop." "Didn't folks always have candy, same as tbey do now, grandma?" "Why. no. Indeed! I can remember lMn't ! I the first candy I ever saw; I know what It was." "Oh! oh! how funny! Do tell us about I it" ! "Well, It was as much as seventy 1 years ago. for I wasn't more than 5 or S years old. It was way down In New Hampshire, in the winter, and I went ! to school. "One night when we were going ' home from school, s whole roadful of us, the stage-coach came along. "That was before eara or depots wer 1 ever thought ef. Folks-traveled by stage in those days. We children all 1 turned out In the snow on the sides of the road, the boys in a row on one side, ind the girls en the other, for we were always taught to turn out and 'make our manners' when teams passed us: nd if a scholar went to school and told the teacher that Moses or Hannah d not make their manners when the gen tlemen passed the night before, tlie teacher would call them up and punish them. "We all stood there In two rows, and as the stage passed us the boys made their bows, and we girls our courtesies. The load of passengers smiled and bowed to us, and one very pretty lady tossed out a paper of something. "Someone picked It up, and Insldo were perhaps half a dozen long, round, white things. " 'Candles!' we said. Tbey did look like that "There waa a bouse close by, and we all trooped In there with our treasure. " 'I know what that is,' said the wom an, aa soon as she unrolled the paper. 'It'a candy. I saw lots of It In the . . , t- , storeo when I was (o Boston lsst sum mer. " 'What's It good for? we asked. Good to eat,' she said. "It's sweet and nice, but tbey do say It hurts tbs teeth. Let me divide It among you all.' That's what the lrdy meant to have done, I s'pose. "So she broke up the sticks ef candy, snd gave us each a little piece. I don't suppose mine waa more than an Inch or two long, but I thought It was the nicest thing I ever tasted." "I'm glad I didn't live In those days fraud ma." "I dare say you are. One thing's sure. We had less candy and more manners, and may be It waa Just as well for us, after all." Youth's Com panion. Netnina Bcmsrkablc. Smith Hear about the fire over o. the west side thia morning? Nine per sons barely escaped with their Hves. Remarkable, wasn't It? Brown I fall tb see anything ver remarkable about H. Smith Why not? - Brown Well, suppose (hey had es raped without their liver. then it would have been truly remarkaUs. It tt said that nations awn by cy cles. A greai aaaa; El I sBs-l La-n-n-BsSa tuxr XMCnr surely it CUU3 slL FATM, NEURALGIC, OR LUMBAOIC. HUMOR OF THE WEEK STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY OF THE PRESS. MEN all. Carless sad iAaghaMa f assaa Nataro Oraahloslly si trayod hy Kaslasat Wer Artist- sf Oar Own Dny-A Buds sf Fa. A a Bacellent Beaeoaw Mrs. Beyers I wonder how the gro cer happened to put these amell pota- toea en top of the measure T Mr. Bayers Oh. I guess hs musl have ran out of fftrge ones. The One Exception. Tom Did you ever know a girl to re turn a present that she had received from a man? Jack No, I caa't aay that I ever did. but I presented a girl with a dlarr once and she didn't keep It Aaaoylaa. "Hverrthlna; seems to go contra rt wise," said the shipbuilder, gloomily. "What'a the matter r "When we build a maa-of-war It goes straight to the bottom, and when w turn out a submarine torpedo boat It ticks to the surface Uke a Hfe preserv er." Washington Star. Deanerate f tnto of Thlngra. , Mrs. Phlatthause There seems to be a nsd of Invention. Just think; there bs bees s piano Invented that can b played In bed. Phlatthause That settles R. Aftei ihis it will be no nse to stop at merely crippling piano players; they'll have te be killed. Cincinnati Enquirer. A B: iht Action. Wlllum That waa a brilliant actios of Dumley'a at the party last night. BUI um What was that? Wlllum He lit the gas. The Wrong Tnrn for Him. Barton I'd like to get you to pre scribe for my baby. It'a two month! old now aad I've stood It Just as long as I caa. The Doctor What seems to be th trouble? Doesn't it sleep nights? Barton That's Just whsre the rub Is I It sleeps too well nights. Tou see, I work on a morning newspaper and have to sleep during the day. What I want you to do la to give it something to keep it awake nights. Hor TJnfortnnato Knowledge. After he bad kissed her and pressed aer rosy cheek against his and patted her soft round chin she drew back and assea: "r;eoi-, 4 yon -efasvs jvuiaelM" "Tea," hs replied. I "I thought ao." she said. "Your fact Is the roughest I ever " Then she stopped, but It was too late, and he went away with a cold, heavy tump in his breast. SI 00 for 14 Cental Salzer's seeds never fail. They sprout, g-'ow and produce every time. We wish to get 20fl,0m new customers this year, hence this trial offer of 1 pkft. Farliest Tied Beet 10c 1 !kg. Karly Fprirg Turnip. ...... .10c 1 pks. 13 Day Rad:sh 10c 1 nkc. Risnian k I'm nnilier. ....... .15c 1 I'kir- Queen Victoria Ittuco. .... .15c 1 j kK. Klondike Melon 15c 1 kg. Jumlw) Onion .i"c 3 pkps. brilliant flower s-eds. ..... .15c Now, John A. Salzer Seed Co., I Crosse, Wis., will mail vnn free ail of above 10 splendid novelties and their g,-ert plant and seed eatnlotue, upon re ceipt of this notice and 14 cents postage. A. C. i Of 2S cities in the United States con taining over 100.00 inhabitants the death rate oi Omaha is lowest. Allen -'on is called to the advertise ment of h raciflc Mining and Trading Co. It will appear but once. There are 17,000 square miles of coal lands in West Virginia, which is regarded as an inexhaustible supply. 1 berrve Plan's (Jure for Consumption vd my boylife lsst.rnimer.-Mr. AuiKDtiOd utsa, Le Roy, Mich., Oct. SO. 18M. There are more than a dozen concerns manufacturing horseless carriages in the United States. Fits petmsnentlv cured. No flu or n"rvoni ne? after first day's ot Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Kt-storer. Si trial tou and IrenUe tre. Dr. K. U Kli.ns. Ltd , 9:11 Arch t, Phtla. i'a. During last year 53 1-2 P"r cent, of all the commodities Mexico brought abroad were taken from the United States. Mm. Wlnmow'a Soothing- Byrup for ehlMren tecihina.orteus the uumt. reducing lnflamma ll'in. ..1 a) a pain, cures win 1 colic. 25b a bottle. There are eight oil-producing samis in West Virginia, varying in thickm-a from 3c to 2 V 6 feet. Cmtmrrti Cannot be Cored With local applications, as thev cannot reach the seat of tli diwaae. Catarrh is a blood or constitutional ciieeane, anrt ia order to cure it you must take internal remedies. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, and acts di rectly on the blood and mucous surface. Hall's catarrh, uure is not a quack medicine. It was prescribed by one of lie best physicians in this country for years, and is a reicular pre- gcription. It Is composed of the beet tonics known, combined with the beat blood puriiters, accinar directly on the mucous surfaces. The periecccomoination ot tlie two Ingredients is what produces such wonderful results in cur ing catarrn. send for testimonials, free. F. J. Cheney & Co., Props, Toledo, O Sold by DruuKijts, price. 76c Hall's Family Puis are the best. The aggregate annual circnlation of the world's periodicals is 12,006,000,000, and consumes 760,000 tons of paper. fhtw Star Tobacco The Best Emeke SledSe Cigarette. It is estimated that there is $150,000,000 spent annually in North America for newspaper and magazine advertisements. -t . To Curs s Old la One Day. Take laxative brnno (,'uinlne Tablets. All Drngzists refund money it it foils to core. t&c. During 18)7 the furnaces of Alabama have sent 2uu,tKK) tons of iron to Europe. l tire Onaraatced bv DR. s. B, MATBR. ISIS ARCH ST- FHltA FA. aas at ono ao cperauan or delay from bonaeas. Ceuollattoa Ire. Eadonemeats ef phTdciana, ladles aad prominent cluzeaa. bans lor cuaalac Ofttoa Latin A. M. lot r. 11. The value ef the natural gas produced in Kansas in ISM amounted to f 124,750. The akin of the kangaroo, when prop erly tanned, never breaks. Tbs word "boycott" has now got into a oat of ths foreign languages. Nlnety-serea out of every hundred arctic explorers bars returned alive. Americana are said to have the poor est teeth of any people In the world Plants grow faster between 4 and o a. aa. than at any time during the day. The thinnest, and at the same time one of the toughest, leathers tanned la Croga akin. An apparatus has been perfects! that will spin a kind of silk from the fibrous talks sf nettles. Switzerland has the unenviable dis tinction of having a larger percentage of lunatics than any other country. Hospital statistics prove that ampu tation is four times as dangerous after the age of 50 as before. Property la said to be so safe In Fin land that packages left unguarded any where are hardly ever touched. - Germaa locomotive engineers receive a gold medal and $500 for every ten years of service without accident. Eating matches are common among the village of Alaska. He who eats the most Is considered the man of great est distinction. In Asia the average number of In habitants per square mile is forty eight; In Africa, fifteen; In America, eight; In Australia, one. Thirteen crimes were punishable by death when Queen Victoria ascended the throne. To-day there are but two treason and murder. Bleeding at the nose, a doctor has dis covered, can be quickly stopped by plunging the feet and hands In water aa hot as can be endured. Statistics prove that nearly two thirds of the letters carried by the world's postal services are written, sent io. snd resd by English-speaking peo ple. In Hindoatan, when the parents of a baby cannot agree upon a name, two lamps are placed over. the names. The one over which the lamp Is brighter ia that which Is chosen. The arrangement of the trees in Blen heim Park, the seat of the Duke of Marlborough, Is said to represent the position of the troops In the great bat tle which gave the estate its Dame. A man who Is well up In dog lore ad vises Intending purchasers of a puppy to let Its mother choose for them. In carrying them back to their bed the first that the mother picka up will al ways be her best At a wedding recently celebrated the bride, bridegroom, best man and brides maid were sll deaf ami dumb. The bridal pair nodded their "I will," and pledged their troth by pointing to the worda in tuslr payer buusa. " '- v Some Chinese phrases read very queerly; thus cheese Is known as "cow milk cake;" slippers are termed "drag shoes,-" a cigar, "atlck of smoke-leaf;" a match, "self -come fire;" and black tea. It appears. Is called "thunder tea." It Ia a etrange fact that, while the teeth of the negro slaves on the old plantations were remarkable for their whiteness, those of the freed negro of the present day are in an lnnnlteiy k worme condition than those of his white I brothers. this la nwlnir pnt'relT tn tns-' jiangj of cat fiU sia Ue COMorea man weakness for sweetmeats. The whole of a recent sitting of the Japanese Parliament waa devoted to considering whether a member had not violated parliamentary etiquette by at tending the opening Ib a frock coat In stead of the regulation dress suit. Fi nally the offending member was sol emnly warned of hla "Indiscretion." Just escsplng being handed over to tho disciplinary committee. Delicate Hint. Deal Hole, in his "Little Tear In Ire land," says that when one ef his party went a-fiahlng, tt waa to corns home in triumph, bearing a glorious salmon, its silver scales glittering ia the sun. Nat urally be was In good humor, and well disposed to pay the f Sherman who had accompanied him. This was tlie dia logue as the two men stepped on shore: "Boatmsa," said the happy tourist, "how much ia the boat?" "Pure, your honor, the boat'll be Id the bill. Tour honorll give the boat man what you please." "But what is generally given?" "Well, your honor, some'll give twt shillings, and some eighteen pi nee. A tallor'd be for giving eighteen plnce." How much the passenger gave Is nol known, but surely he was not Inellnei to be classed with stay-at-home tailors not accustomed to "sport." Tbe Licoal Flavor. An American, who had left hla na tive country to travel la Europe, wltt the maxim, "When In Rome do as tin Romans do," well in mind, found him self in Marseilles. He wanted somi Ice cream and went Into a restauran' and ordered It. "What flavor will you have?" askel the waiter. The American hesitated a moment anu then remembered hla maxim. "Ob, garlic, I suppose," be answered A Real Afr can A. B. Bo-SIayou, who has received his dt ploma from Cobb University school a Lewiston, Maine, is probably the fir heir to an African throne who eve graduated from an American college. Tbe average girl knowa enough about j photography to retouch her negativi ( whan she says "no." TO- PUBLISHERS Tbe Gentral Newspapsr Union, Lid. 6i4 CHESTNUT ST.. Philadelphia. Furnishes Machine Composition In English ana German. FOR NEWSPAPERS. BOOKS. MAGAZINES, PAMPHLETS. LEGAL DOCUMENTS. ETC Also Fhoto-Engraving, Lino and Half Tons work. Priatiag ia 3Is and ia Colors, Quickly at Seasonable Eate. ttM M Want to Look on ike briiit Side ol Hiiogs, Use SAPOLIO Tragos, a Gojf, an Ode. The word tragedy, derived from ths Oreek tragoa, a goat an ode, a aona originally denoted the song or chorus uiai accoinpauieu me sacrmce or a goat to the gods. Co-nedy, the AngUcniea- forsa of the Latin comaed'a, com from the Kreek komoa, a festive pro cession, and aeidenl, to sing, referring to the ode sung during the procession. Farce la a modern term, founded upon the Latin verb faclre, to stuff. This waa an allusion to the ancient buffoons padding out their clothing to abnormal dimensions. Later the padding waa dispensed with, but the wide garments retained. Detroit Free Press. Tho Orisinal Side-Bplitten Smiles I heard a side-splitting Joke (he other day. Giles What was it? Smiles I can't recall it Just now, bu It was something about Adam loalng his rib. There is coal in 30 of Kansas. the connties of v Established 1780. X ft ft ft ft F ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft Baker's Chocolate, celebrated for more 2 .u . & than a century as a gt delicious, nutritious, "Ot and flesh-forming jijj beverage, has our well-known 2 Yellow Label f on the front of every gi package, and our 3j trade mark,"! j Belle gi Chocolatiere,"on the back. ry "3 NONE OTHER GENUINE. ry MADE ONLY BY S g WALTER BAKER & CO. LtlL, g & Dorchester, Mass. 2 n55i5t5t5c3'5i!55i5t5t5t5t5r5i5t5tq FARM SEEDS rUlter'i feedi an YiamaUd U Prodoc. . Walter. Kara Till. Pa., astonished the world b mmlMlbO bushels Haixer corn: J. braider. 1 Miatilcou. V ia.. ITS buab. barter. Aad P. HlagtoC, Randan. lava, br rrowfng l bu&b. Matter oata per svr. If Tim dutu sriiettiim. We wub to gala leMMMl o erjutuT. oeuc ami twoa on via 10 DOLLARS WORTH FOR 10o. I pkgs of rare farm Kof Pea, Band V4b, 4Uc. Wbeat. .Sheep Hape. Jerutairm mo-u. etc., in ciadtuaj oar maromotu See 4 .atalofie, telliaf all J about tne uu gia prixss nr oesi ai"n ior oar i new marveiuug corn a a a oata, - i-rwugiea. also aampio of earns, all ana ilea yo upon receipt or tt Hie. potagr, positirstj worto auu. to gi a atari, iw ww sots. Bed KavtsatoM at II iO a bhL mi rtt. t-arlieat age labia jel aoodtbia 1 it I I .f Ut. Aluii. Ia Ha. THE BEST PLACETO BUY viit. Singing Canaries, "Mocking Klrda, Talking farnita and all nthor Fanny t'.itfe lSirda, Fine Bred Fom-J.i, Fancy I'lgeona, GOl.VFISH and ;.brs TBS la'itost and beat selected stork of firs elasn Zoods at low prices; send tor Catmt lostnea. Bird can he delivered to H part a safely hy express. N. W. VAHLE, 319 ajarket St., SSH.Sta St. Philadelphia, Pa. SEEDS; HEW SIBERIA MILLET EARLT FORTUHE MI. LET CE. R 'ST PROOF OATS FAftHEBSSURFKISECOCT Th four ftreafflt farm MtM noveltie ever ortirtn fe ted. A aitupreoftscfa. together wtt hone of tbe flaat CHtalogties ever seen, all postp-iul, fr two He stamp. JeT.0TE SEED CO.. Sienx Fill. South Bmlr. Ttw nimimWrimimjitmrrrri cinrnct. Literal mrie .- A.k tmr frim ALASKA GOLD FIELDS. Tbe PACIFIC KITtO a TXADIH8 CO , with r-e-idqnarlers .tt C joKiltLE'l .are now arransinr o sen J one liun.l.cl GiUB-STAKt D PReSPEO-T-h- 'o search fur ami tx-nte ItEW GOLD Cf Am? In vicinity of COOK INLET and COP PE . R1V :", n .w admitted i b n- RICHEST TE .RICLET in A l:isk!t I'l ni aresticb at rea dftwti ABSOLUTELY CtSTAI.1. PartW ie-t uust"j'inc'tf l-uru full particulars .f tarns ind t an by "playing er-to u.lly ur by latter at tl.e office oi the Company, 11 Broadway, N. Y.city HERRMANN, THE MAGICIAN HIS LIFE. HIS SECRETS. BY H. J. Bt RLINQA.ME. Illustrated with designs aud dia grams Scores of never before published explanations of the most puzzling tricks of the great est of all conj irers. Equally val uable for amntcurs ami profes sionals. Every apparatus fully described. Extra cloth, burnished top. Fries $1.00 The . bove book will be sent pest free to any address upon receipt of price Philadelphia DemoM PnKishim Co., BOOK DEPARTMENT, 612-614 Chestnut Street. PHILADELPHIA FOR FIFTY YEARS 1 MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP baa wd br minions of rootbev for their children wliila Tth In sr for ow Fifty Yer, ft uwvihaa thai ril1f tanft.'Wi the KUIT). aUlflTB tail RAt rtfmetlv f , cure W 1 1 u wuu, auu siv Twpnty-ivo Cents Bottle. 'ns rtl uov-Hi-nXSI !!LE PISTUP.E CF CONStlMPtlVEt ' r.eart Ezelle! T:1-14 cured iTf lrah. Ko dress. I r 1. 1 id win f,.r NASA I. INrfP-SATOR. or i cents .1 to U. It. l illBE,l'i'r.ll.U-J..UtDUI. If tflltnted with ore tyom. uaa i Thompson's Eys Wstsf PRINTERS 1 iila - of te:.u; . ,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers