20—The Daily Collegian Monday, April 20, 1987 Couples face By CHRIS ZEILER Collegian Staff Writer Couples today find themselves seeking complete control of their lives and relationships but this is not possible, a University assistant professor says. Take the case of Tom and Lisa, who will grad uate this spring and are planning to be married. Both have tentative job offers in cities far apart from each other. To stay together, one of them will be forced to give up a good offer. Each feels the right to have a career and a say in where they will live. They are an example of a symmetrical couple. In this fictitious case, said associate speech communication Professor William Rawlins, Tom and Lisa could accept their jobs, thus putting their relationship on the back burner. Rawlins said he sees many dual-career marriages as symmetrical relationships. Or, to avoid conflict, they could accept the better job offer on the condition that the next time a similar situation arises, the person who gave up the job offer would have more of an influence on whether to relocate. „ In symmetrical relationships, both partners exchange similar behaviors. For example, one partner will talk while the other listens and then the second partner will talk while the first listens. People need to be in control because they want to feel effective and not at the mercy of the environ ment and others, Rawlins said. Rawlins next gave the example of John and JoAnn, a couple in a complementary relationship a relationship in which different behavior is exchanged. John will talk while JoAnn listens, • The .Office of The University Registrar Announces The Spring 1987 Conflict Schedule • Printed below is the conflict final examination schedule for Spring 08:00 - 08:00 A.M. TO 09:50 A.M. M - MONDAY, MAY 4, 1987 Conflict examinations have been determined by the University Registrar. Semester 1987. Only those students assigned to a conflict examination 10:10 - 10:10 A.M. TO 12:00 P.M. T - TUESDAY, MAY 5, 1987 Instructors will announce to those students for whom conflict examinations should follow the schedule outlined below. All other students will have 12:20 - 12:20 P.M. TO 02:10 P.M. W - WEDNESDAY, MAY 6, 1987 have been scheduled. their final examinations at the time and place announced in the originally 02:30 - 02:30 P.M. TO 04:20 P.M. R - THURSDAY, MAY 7, 1987 • published schedule. 04:40 - 04:40 P.M. TO 06:30 P.M. F - FRIDAY, MAY 8, 1981 The time and place of a conflict examination for courses listed by 06:50 - 06:50 P.M. TO 08:40 P.M. S - SATURDAY, MAY 9, 1987 appointment (Appt) should be arranged between the students and the, The interpretation of the time designations used in the conflict 09:00 - 09:00 P.M. TO 10:50 P.M. instructors concerned at a mutually convenient time, but in no case in examination schedule is as follows: conflict with any other scheduled final examination, or at a time which . would create three final examinations on the same day. A E 202 221 222 403 ACCTG 101 104 206 AG E 327 438 453 AG EC 460 AGRO 028 AM ST 105 ANTHY 001 021 045 033 041 102 222 473 479 will not get a chance to respond back, or JoAnn will tell John when he can go out. Complementary relationships have one person holding more power than the other, either because the powerful person wants the power or because the powerless person puts the responsibility for all decisions his or her partner, he said. Once a relationship is defined as complemen tary, it is hard to break that definition, because one partner will try to preserve the inequality of the relatonship. Rawlins said there two types of control, unilate ral and systemic. No one can have unilateral control complete control over others because of systemic control which exists within the system itself. but JoAnn Appt Appt Appt Appt 158 WILLARD 71 WILLARD T 6:50 P.M. F 10:10 A.M APPT 208 WILLARD F 8:00 A.M APPT APPT 73 WILLARD R 10:10 A.M 209 WILLARD T 06:50 P.M 203 WILLARD W 02:30 P.M 350 FREAR 271 WILLARD T 06:50 P.M T 08:00 A.M APPT APPT APPT M 10:10 A.M W 10:10 A.M APPT 165 WILLARD 350 FREAR APPT APPT APPT APPT APPT . APPT APPT W 12:20 P.M 106 SACKETT 109 OSMOND T 04:40 P.M APPT problems with dual lives "People want to be in control because our sense of competence as hurnan beings in many ways derives from the extent to which we feel we can influence what is happening to us," he said. Power and self-esteem are scarce resources in relationships, Rawlins said. The two are interre lated because if people feel powerless in a relationship, their self-esteem will usually be low. Conversely, if people feel powerful in a relationship, their self-esteem is typically high. "Virtually any part of a relationship can become an area of struggle," Rawlins said. "Something as simple as who takes out the garbage can become a recurring fight in a relationship. It's an indication that there is still a struggle going on for control of the relatonship "You participate in systems that is, you exert some control over your relationships, but a relationship also has control over you. People are able to exercise various degrees of control within social systems, but the potential for you having CMPSC 101 101 101 203 211 FD SC 106 FOR 475 FR 002 003 FSC 424 GEOSC 020 L 1-4 040 1-8 330 1 GER 001 1-7 003 1-6 • Labor & Parts • 1 year warranty IBM XT TM • 10am - Bpm Compatible Complete system I Turbo Mono sys. $779.00 Color sys. --add $2OO MASTER COMPUTER, Inc. 315 S. Allen Street, Suite 118 State College. PA (814)234-4058 Brothers Pizzo Fast . . . Free . . . 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Sharon Hamilton, staff psychologist at Ritenour Health Center's Center for Counseling and Psycho logical Services, said people generally have three parts to their personalities: the critical parent, the objective adult and the child. `People want to be in control because our sense of competence as human beings in many ways derives from the extent to which we feel we can influence what is happening to us.' Professor William Rawlins If both partners in a relationship are in the parent state of mind, they will criticize each other, resulting in anger and hurt, with no resolution, Hamilton said. If both are vying for the upper hand, their problems will be increased even more, she said. "Any quarrel in a relationship could relate to the struggle for control, but it doesn't have to," Rawlins said. "A quibble over the TV , remote control is not necessarily an indicator of larger problems because it could be an isolated inci dent." "However, if it's a pattern, then it could be an indicator of larger problems," he added. 269 WILLARD 151 WILLARD 209 WILLARD 315 WILLARD 73 WILLARD 167 WILLARD 203 E E WEST 201 E E WEST 313 E E WEST 227 E E WEST 210 HAMI4OND 208 HAMMOND 269 WILLARD 151 WILLARD 218 WILLARD 21 DEIKE BEST Price BEST Quality BEST Service HL ED 019 1,2,4 APPT HIST 001 010 010 020 155 175 1-4 APPT 1-9, 13 R 12:20 P.M 1-8 APPT 1-2 APPT 1-5 W 04:40 P.M 1-19 R 04:40 P.M 1,2 R 04:40 P.M 2-15 W 02:30 P.M 2-9 APPT 1-7 T 12:20 P.M 1-9 T 08:00 A.M 1,3,4,6 APPT 1 APPT 1,2 APPT 1-2 R 08:00 A.M 1 AP PT 1-2 W 10:10 A.M 1 AP PT Engineering dean to hold meeting By CHRISTINE NICHOLAS Collegian Staff Writer College of Engineering Dean Carl Wolgemuth will hold an open meeting for sophomore engineers and other interested students to morrow night to discuss the col lege's enrollment control policy and its recent effect on students. Some University sophomores expected to have until the end of this semester to meet grade re quirements for entrance into their nriajorS, but evaluation occurred mid-semester. Students who did not get their majors as a result of the mid-se mester evaulation may sign up for end-of-semester reconsideration, but the number of additional stu dents accepted depends on how many extra spaces open by stu dents dropping out or changing majors, Wolgemuth said. The meeting, organized by Engi neering Undergraduate Council officers, will be at 7:30 in 269 Willard. Wolgemuth will explain the college's position on enroll- as i*Xfitiliaaltalr!!!!!Fill7Bl.ljll :‘,l;llllllA:iiiii7;437 P IZZAV SPECSAILt '' ~, .:' ~ , ,s ,Pliza,' Me/ ••• 4 ; 99,, ~„,, :, 1 "L • P d ,, ' C 'c l:l ti e e e e s s e Pizza ', '• 4l 2 5 0 : stylaitChees" c,,- 0 1 '95) • ' • • • oz Pepsis Ay , , ,„ , ...r...„ 04, t:4 , ,"2 in 4 41; e o dkt l ires .,,,,-' 4i2 1 :6‘43 ", t ,,, ,:fs.p,on,o•Dess•i'vesilij No checks Drivers 'w . •• ~ - imiiimianagianiass ' ' illitialomsll6l.ll°ll2 wi . Ming . A .K,'55.. , :,•.,,, ~, I ,s-- 1 4 . ,A4, ,, tv. . , : L ; I,NCk ; ::,. A '', •','''' '',•.: Tit Arr.::. v.... • • • < • • 1: ; t4:0 ili ' ' ' lr . : l ' e '' Oiiiii a ' tr i : , iti • . ' ‘: ; :.‘, I , 2 1P ; • ;,P, • A Z . ,,, , . *iti , „ ,::;:, ' .‘,.. 7, 1' '' '; ' ' •'' •'' • ' .': ‘ ''' • 4SL ,gb: lit igi 4 x ..:rio a.; -: ,c , .. , .• . 5.:, , ,; ( , • - ;• . A ,,, ,•;z:.. , • . ~ • .- - •,,,, •,, •• •<,-., .. 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Since some people see the col lege's resubmission process as "some kind of ploy to get (stu dents) of our backs," Wolgemuth said he will also explain how soph omores can sign up for end-of-se mester reconsideration for their majors. "I want to offer some assurance that we are going to look at spring grades," he added The discussion will allow sopho more engineers to "know what the next step should be," Council Vice President Patty Walsh said. Michele Burnat (sophomore-en gineering) asked council officers last week what they could do to help students who believe they had been misled by University policy. Walsh said council officers de cided to work with the University system and provide information for the students "instead of fight ing to get the wheels to turn back ward." MI S 431 6 431 9,10 202 L 203 L 204 L 419 101 101 102 102 451 1-2 APPT 1-5,19 - 21 APPT 100 200 301 401 451 460 1-2 R 10:10 A.M. 167 WILLARD 1,3 T 10:10 A.M. 217 WILLARD 2 APPT 108 H DEV 18 H DEV W 10:10 A.M F 08:00 A.M 369 WILLARD 358 WILLARD 358 WILLARD F 02:30 P.M R 06:50 P.M R 06:50 P.M APPT APPT APPT M 12:20 P.M T 12:20 P.M APPT 271 WILLARD 167 WILLARD R 10:10 A.M 67 WILLARD APPT APPT APPT F 10:10 A.M. 208 WILLARD APPT APPT
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