PAGE TWO' THE COLLEGIAN "For A Better Penn Stale" Established 1940. Successor to the Penn State Colleg ian, established 1904, and the Free Lance, established 1077. Published every Tuesday and Friday morning dur ing the regular College year by the staff of the Daily Collegian of the Pennsylvania State College. Entered as second class matter July 5, 1934. at the State College, Pa., Post Office under the act of March 0, 1879. Subscriptions by mail at $1 a semester, Member Associated Gollefticite Press Golle6ia!e Di6est Editor-In-Chief Business Manager | .Woodene BeU Mary Louise Davey ! Managing Editor " Advertising Manager Peggie Weaver Rosemary Gliantous News Editor .. Women's Editor Feature Editor Sports Editor . Senior Board .. Barbara Ingraliam, Audrey Ryback Junior Hoard Larry Foster, Kay Krell, Lynette Lund* nuist. Caroline Manville, Lois Marks, Suzanne Mc- Cauley, David Nalvcn, DovU Stowe. Gwcnneth Tim mis, Jane Wolbnrst. Graduate Counselor Louis Bell ADVERTISING STAFF Senior Board Assistant Advertising Managers Sally Holstrum. Advertising Assistants.. .Dorothy Leibovitz. Ria Hanzlick Circulation Manager Selma Sabel STAFF THIS ISSUE Managin'? Editor News Editor Cqpy Editors Sports 'Editor Independents vs. Campus Upperclassmen who were here before the wax" undoubtedly remember the heated political cam paigns between the Independent and the Campus parties. With the fraternity and sorority members composing the Campus clique, the campaigns lost <their political issues and were actually a contest between the two groups of students. Two new political cliques have recently been organized under these same names and, according to the new Independent party platform, they are appealing only to independent students. Collegian opposes this*set-up, since the empha sis is placed on social status and tends to segregate independent groups from fraternity people while the emphasis should be placed on. the merit of the candidates seeking office. VU/ SOMETHING SHE CAN WEAR ! C «. Wi± '■ i •:*. 'r.>"? SMART SHOP '.VO . ✓ ' . * . t _ „ ~ . _ _ .. Distributor of EDiTOIIIAL STAFF Gloria Nerenbevg ... Patricia Turk Morvin Will .. George Sample Phyllis Deal Dorothy Leibovitz, Kay Krell Elaine Mittleman Shirley Lyon, Doris Stowe A-S Jack Reid • Gloves and Mittens m Scarfs m Handkerchiefs m Costume Jewelry m Blouses m Sweaters Penn Statements By PEGGIE WEAVER Those insipid grins firmly planted on the faces of. all eighth semester seniors aren’t really the re sult of seven and a half semesters of being an eager beaver —they are just a perpetual reaction to the announcement of no finals this semester. Rumor s have 'been flying around wildly—rumors of finals for everyone for two weeks, or finals for seniors after graduation, but all have been pleasantly and thoroughly squelched. Ah, the re wards of acceleration. Minors Drink Water More tales of frosh antics even at this late date. This green-dinked frosh, thirsting for a milk shake. inquired of an upperclassman the best dis penser of the health potion. He was obligingly led to Pugh Street and down the steps to the place of refreshment. The frosh stepped up to the bar and ordered a jumbo chocolate milkshake. The proprietor asked fo r his customer’s matric card, which the frosh produced only to be gently shown lhe door. Sadly the thirsty frosh wandered home shaking his head over a town where you had to be 21 to buy a milkshake. Mouse Psychology The AOPi’s were rudely interrupted during the nightly bridge game by the entrance of a terrify ing mouse. The ferocious beast was greetetd by shrieks and squeals, but two brave AOPi’s vol unteered to capture him. They gathered their weapons and chased him down stairs and over furniture. But mousie won the first round. Still determined to rjid their house of the menace, the pursuers left a note for the janitor to leave a mouse trap. The janitor, anxious to join in the spoils, left two traps, baited with tempting-cheese. The AOPi’s retired that, night confident of victory in the morning. But morning found both traps empty and their victim among the absent. Mousie had his cheese and his freedom too. Sorry-Wrong Professor Last issue Collegian became a little confused over the identity of certain recently returned his tory profs. 'So, if you’ll just substitute the name Kent Forster everywhere Mr. O’Neill’s name ap peal’s in the story on five of Friday’s paper you’ll be doing us, yourself, and the gentlemen concerned a big favor. You see, Professor O’Neill was a lieutenant commander in the navy and tells sea stories . . . not air stories. So watch 'Collegian for the real word on the commander. And this time we’ll make sure we’re talking to the right fellow. CHRISTMAS TIME... THE COLLEGIAN A Lean and Hungry Look Dear Brutus I am warning you that this is going to be a very boring letter. Having just returned from an arduous trip from the City of Eirotherly Loot, I am in no mood nor mind to write anything that may even be in the slightest way humorous. Before leaving State College Friday, I had visions of doing a beau tiful satire on the latest racket the coeds cooked up, “Cupid’s Corner.” My blasphemous tongue Was eag erly waiting to vent its spleen on these deceitful babes. Imagine, some girls figure oUt a method whereby they might rope unsus pecting males into dating them, and then proclaim to the world that their sole interest is to please the fellows. • But now, I am too tired to rack my already feeble mind for ad jectives, adverbs, and epithets to insult these hypocritical “lonesome hearters.” Perhaps I should ex plain how I got into this highly dissipated condition. Friday afternoon a fraternity brother cordially invited. me to accompany him to Philadelphia. Overcome with this sudden out burst of generosity, I couldn’t hurt his. feelings, so I acquiesced. This I was later to regret; I should have stood home. Like all other trips I have taken with this gay Lothario, it started on time, an hour later than plan ned. Then he casually mentioned that the gas tank was as dry-as a Pennsylvania Sunday, and his bankroll as flat as a warm beer. After five of us chipped in to cov er his oversight, and bought him a few hamburgers to feed his tape worm, we started. The ride to Philly was most un eventful, only we had two flat tires and killed a few chickens who were doing practical research on the long standing puzzle re garding their desire to traverse a thoroughfare. Once we cleaned the tread marks from their pros trate forms, they tasted delicious. WHAT HAPPENED IN PHIL LY IS iMY OWN DAMN BUSI NESS! Our return to State was delayed two hours by a simple serf who If a contest were staged at Penn State to determine the high-point champ among veterans, one of the chief contenders would be a former Air Corps pilot, Howard Wilson. In nearly five years, including one with the RCAF, and 14 months of overseas duty’with' the' 13th AAF, Howard collected 146 points on 98 fighter missions. Even though Howard scored four confirmed victories and has hit the silk into the Pacific, to be res cued later by a PT boat, he is ex tremely modest and talk s more readily about amusing but non heroic incidents. One- of his favorites occurred during.a Jap air-raid on “Guadal,” the goat being a famous flier. As the aqe strutted by, Howard ask ed him if he were looking for a fox-hole and was answered by, “Naw, I haven’t hit one for 15 months, and I’m not startin’ now!” That exclamation point was changed to a question mark by a near-by bomb explosion. Being closer to the fox-hole, Howard ex pected to feel a pair of heels in his back, but was startled to find that the hero had mysteriously arrived first. However, he main tains that the pilot was really very brave. He also must have been very fast!- if i | Fraternity ~ v 1 Christmas Trees a I All Sizes Including 15-foot trees Leave Order Early COLLEGE FOOD MARKET i 1 Phone 4955 State College 1 missed the 9 o’clock pony express from hi s rustic hideaway. Being a Republican, this gross ineffi ciency was to. :be . expected. .We finally started off in high spirits— -100 per cent proof. I wouldn’t say that we were traveling fast, but we had a P-38 trailing us from Paoli to Lancaster. While we were hightailing along, a peculiar odor permeated the car. I first thought someone was smoking a reefer, but when the smoke poured out of the hood, I began to suspect that something was afoul. Could it be that the galley slaves .were indulging in the weed? No, it was only the oil line on fire. A State trooper pull ed alongside and, after carefully observing our dilemma, politely told u s to get the damn rattletrap off the road. But-we were brave, and con tinued the trek homeward. At Harrisburg we paused to appease our appetites at a friendly little hash house called “Ptomaine Tav ern.” Now I know how the owners got' the name. Meanwhile, a gar age mechanic diagnosed the auto’ ailment as gasketitis. He cheer fully told us *“lf you don’t get a gasket, you’ll need a casket.” It only cost two quarts of blood and one right arm OPA ceiling. , The rest of the journey was easy. We had. the 'gasket, but the way the driver, handled the car, we thought we would have use for that .casket after all. And now here I am, with the editor casually reminding me for the 2,307 th time, that the dead line for this drivel was Saturday, •Ha, Ha,, she can’t scare trie, she’s wearing slacks. . . •; Bach In Mufti j Many other humorous events j were experienced in Canada, and j one Howard will never forget was his correspondence with 50 girls. Not wolfishly, he insists; the let ters were written for Norwegians who had escaped-the Nazis. Being strangers, they had acquired the names of American girls in many devious ways. They turned to Howard since they were unable to write English with the required finesse, and could not completely understand their replies. Now a freshman in Aero Engi neering, Howard, in spite of his graduation from Cresson High School so many years ago, does not have too much difficulty with his studies, except for chemistry and mathematics. He readily a grees that Penn State beats, fight er missions over Bougainville or Rabaul. . —Eewis. Stone. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1945 —CASSIUS
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers