PAGE TWO'
THE COLLEGIAN
"For A Better Penn Stale"
Established 1940. Successor to the Penn State Colleg
ian, established 1904, and the Free Lance, established
1077.
Published every Tuesday and Friday morning dur
ing the regular College year by the staff of the Daily
Collegian of the Pennsylvania State College. Entered as
second class matter July 5, 1934. at the State College, Pa.,
Post Office under the act of March 0, 1879.
Subscriptions by mail at $1 a semester,
Member
Associated Gollefticite Press
Golle6ia!e Di6est
Editor-In-Chief Business Manager
| .Woodene BeU Mary Louise Davey
! Managing Editor " Advertising Manager
Peggie Weaver Rosemary Gliantous
News Editor ..
Women's Editor
Feature Editor
Sports Editor .
Senior Board ..
Barbara Ingraliam, Audrey Ryback
Junior Hoard Larry Foster, Kay Krell, Lynette Lund*
nuist. Caroline Manville, Lois Marks, Suzanne Mc-
Cauley, David Nalvcn, DovU Stowe. Gwcnneth Tim
mis, Jane Wolbnrst.
Graduate Counselor Louis Bell
ADVERTISING STAFF
Senior Board
Assistant Advertising Managers
Sally Holstrum.
Advertising Assistants.. .Dorothy Leibovitz. Ria Hanzlick
Circulation Manager Selma Sabel
STAFF THIS ISSUE
Managin'? Editor
News Editor
Cqpy Editors
Sports 'Editor
Independents vs. Campus
Upperclassmen who were here before the wax"
undoubtedly remember the heated political cam
paigns between the Independent and the Campus
parties. With the fraternity and sorority members
composing the Campus clique, the campaigns lost
<their political issues and were actually a contest
between the two groups of students.
Two new political cliques have recently been
organized under these same names and, according
to the new Independent party platform, they are
appealing only to independent students.
Collegian opposes this*set-up, since the empha
sis is placed on social status and tends to segregate
independent groups from fraternity people while
the emphasis should be placed on. the merit of
the candidates seeking office.
VU/
SOMETHING SHE CAN WEAR !
C «.
Wi± '■ i •:*.
'r.>"?
SMART SHOP
'.VO . ✓ ' . * . t _ „ ~ . _ _ ..
Distributor of
EDiTOIIIAL STAFF
Gloria Nerenbevg
... Patricia Turk
Morvin Will
.. George Sample
Phyllis Deal
Dorothy Leibovitz,
Kay Krell
Elaine Mittleman
Shirley Lyon, Doris Stowe
A-S Jack Reid
• Gloves and Mittens
m Scarfs
m Handkerchiefs
m Costume Jewelry
m Blouses
m Sweaters
Penn Statements
By PEGGIE WEAVER
Those insipid grins firmly planted on the faces
of. all eighth semester seniors aren’t really the re
sult of seven and a half semesters of being an
eager beaver —they are just a perpetual reaction
to the announcement of no finals this semester.
Rumor s have 'been flying around wildly—rumors
of finals for everyone for two weeks, or finals
for seniors after graduation, but all have been
pleasantly and thoroughly squelched. Ah, the re
wards of acceleration.
Minors Drink Water
More tales of frosh antics even at this late
date. This green-dinked frosh, thirsting for a milk
shake. inquired of an upperclassman the best dis
penser of the health potion. He was obligingly led
to Pugh Street and down the steps to the place
of refreshment. The frosh stepped up to the bar
and ordered a jumbo chocolate milkshake. The
proprietor asked fo r his customer’s matric card,
which the frosh produced only to be gently shown
lhe door. Sadly the thirsty frosh wandered home
shaking his head over a town where you had to
be 21 to buy a milkshake.
Mouse Psychology
The AOPi’s were rudely interrupted during the
nightly bridge game by the entrance of a terrify
ing mouse. The ferocious beast was greetetd by
shrieks and squeals, but two brave AOPi’s vol
unteered to capture him. They gathered their
weapons and chased him down stairs and over
furniture. But mousie won the first round. Still
determined to rjid their house of the menace, the
pursuers left a note for the janitor to leave a
mouse trap. The janitor, anxious to join in the
spoils, left two traps, baited with tempting-cheese.
The AOPi’s retired that, night confident of victory
in the morning. But morning found both traps
empty and their victim among the absent. Mousie
had his cheese and his freedom too.
Sorry-Wrong Professor
Last issue Collegian became a little confused
over the identity of certain recently returned his
tory profs. 'So, if you’ll just substitute the name
Kent Forster everywhere Mr. O’Neill’s name ap
peal’s in the story on five of Friday’s paper
you’ll be doing us, yourself, and the gentlemen
concerned a big favor.
You see, Professor O’Neill was a lieutenant
commander in the navy and tells sea stories . . .
not air stories. So watch 'Collegian for the real
word on the commander. And this time we’ll make
sure we’re talking to the right fellow.
CHRISTMAS
TIME...
THE COLLEGIAN
A Lean and Hungry Look
Dear Brutus
I am warning you that this is going to be a very boring letter.
Having just returned from an arduous trip from the City of Eirotherly
Loot, I am in no mood nor mind to write anything that may even be
in the slightest way humorous.
Before leaving State College Friday, I had visions of doing a beau
tiful satire on the latest racket the coeds cooked up, “Cupid’s Corner.”
My blasphemous tongue Was eag
erly waiting to vent its spleen on
these deceitful babes. Imagine,
some girls figure oUt a method
whereby they might rope unsus
pecting males into dating them,
and then proclaim to the world
that their sole interest is to please
the fellows. •
But now, I am too tired to rack
my already feeble mind for ad
jectives, adverbs, and epithets to
insult these hypocritical “lonesome
hearters.” Perhaps I should ex
plain how I got into this highly
dissipated condition.
Friday afternoon a fraternity
brother cordially invited. me to
accompany him to Philadelphia.
Overcome with this sudden out
burst of generosity, I couldn’t
hurt his. feelings, so I acquiesced.
This I was later to regret; I should
have stood home.
Like all other trips I have taken
with this gay Lothario, it started
on time, an hour later than plan
ned. Then he casually mentioned
that the gas tank was as dry-as a
Pennsylvania Sunday, and his
bankroll as flat as a warm beer.
After five of us chipped in to cov
er his oversight, and bought him
a few hamburgers to feed his tape
worm, we started.
The ride to Philly was most un
eventful, only we had two flat
tires and killed a few chickens
who were doing practical research
on the long standing puzzle re
garding their desire to traverse a
thoroughfare. Once we cleaned
the tread marks from their pros
trate forms, they tasted delicious.
WHAT HAPPENED IN PHIL
LY IS iMY OWN DAMN BUSI
NESS!
Our return to State was delayed
two hours by a simple serf who
If a contest were staged at Penn State to determine the high-point
champ among veterans, one of the chief contenders would be a former
Air Corps pilot, Howard Wilson. In nearly five years, including one
with the RCAF, and 14 months of overseas duty’with' the' 13th AAF,
Howard collected 146 points on 98 fighter missions.
Even though Howard scored four confirmed victories and has hit
the silk into the Pacific, to be res
cued later by a PT boat, he is ex
tremely modest and talk s more
readily about amusing but non
heroic incidents.
One- of his favorites occurred
during.a Jap air-raid on “Guadal,”
the goat being a famous flier. As
the aqe strutted by, Howard ask
ed him if he were looking for a
fox-hole and was answered by,
“Naw, I haven’t hit one for 15
months, and I’m not startin’
now!”
That exclamation point was
changed to a question mark by a
near-by bomb explosion. Being
closer to the fox-hole, Howard ex
pected to feel a pair of heels in
his back, but was startled to find
that the hero had mysteriously
arrived first. However, he main
tains that the pilot was really
very brave. He also must have
been very fast!-
if i
| Fraternity ~ v
1 Christmas Trees a
I
All Sizes
Including 15-foot trees
Leave Order Early
COLLEGE FOOD MARKET i 1
Phone 4955 State College 1
missed the 9 o’clock pony express
from hi s rustic hideaway. Being
a Republican, this gross ineffi
ciency was to. :be . expected. .We
finally started off in high spirits—
-100 per cent proof. I wouldn’t
say that we were traveling fast,
but we had a P-38 trailing us from
Paoli to Lancaster.
While we were hightailing
along, a peculiar odor permeated
the car. I first thought someone
was smoking a reefer, but when
the smoke poured out of the hood,
I began to suspect that something
was afoul. Could it be that the
galley slaves .were indulging in
the weed? No, it was only the oil
line on fire. A State trooper pull
ed alongside and, after carefully
observing our dilemma, politely
told u s to get the damn rattletrap
off the road.
But-we were brave, and con
tinued the trek homeward. At
Harrisburg we paused to appease
our appetites at a friendly little
hash house called “Ptomaine Tav
ern.” Now I know how the owners
got' the name. Meanwhile, a gar
age mechanic diagnosed the auto’
ailment as gasketitis. He cheer
fully told us *“lf you don’t get a
gasket, you’ll need a casket.” It
only cost two quarts of blood and
one right arm OPA ceiling. ,
The rest of the journey was
easy. We had. the 'gasket, but the
way the driver, handled the car,
we thought we would have use
for that .casket after all.
And now here I am, with the
editor casually reminding me for
the 2,307 th time, that the dead
line for this drivel was Saturday,
•Ha, Ha,, she can’t scare trie, she’s
wearing slacks. . . •;
Bach In Mufti
j Many other humorous events
j were experienced in Canada, and
j one Howard will never forget was
his correspondence with 50 girls.
Not wolfishly, he insists; the let
ters were written for Norwegians
who had escaped-the Nazis. Being
strangers, they had acquired the
names of American girls in many
devious ways. They turned to
Howard since they were unable
to write English with the required
finesse, and could not completely
understand their replies.
Now a freshman in Aero Engi
neering, Howard, in spite of his
graduation from Cresson High
School so many years ago, does
not have too much difficulty with
his studies, except for chemistry
and mathematics. He readily a
grees that Penn State beats, fight
er missions over Bougainville or
Rabaul. . —Eewis. Stone.
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1945
—CASSIUS