PAGE FOUR THE COLLEGIAN EsU.hlimhcd 1 !MO. Successor to the Venn State Collegian, irnlablishcd 1904, and be Tree Lance, established 188(. Editor-in-Chief Business Manager Emil A. Kubek Herbert Hasson Advertising Manager Managing Editor Kathryn Vogel B» J* Cutler rßdiU,liil ' N ®vß n Editor . : Helen V. Hatton Feature Editor N?. n f y C 1 ? r “j I t ™ Sports Editor VwU>r a rl* •Editorial Assistants —Peßßic Weaver, Ruth Gonstnd, Gert rude Lawatsch. Reporters—- Bennett Fairorth, Gloria Nerenbcrß, Estelle Simon, Fay Younß. „ „ , Assistant Business Manager —-—Betty Junior . Advertising Board—Bernice Fmcbcrg, Elaine Miller STAFF THIS ISSUE Manning Editor « uH ' C “" 9 ( V' l ’ Assistant Managing Editor --«• J- Sports Editor -“ V “ tor ° a, } i '°* Assistant Advertising Manager -Bernice i m*R Kows Assistants—‘Richard Glicknmn, Gcri Mnilcy, Richard Schiedel, Jacqueline Socol, Pat Turk. * Friday, August 25, 1944 Vice Versa . . . When the Pennsylvania State .College opens its doors for the Fall semester of 1944 an amazing occurrence will have tak en place. Four hundred and thirty-one freshmen will matriculate athirst for know ledge, of which 340 will be coeds. While this will provide a goodly number of green dinks and ribbons dotting the campus, it is a far cry from the 1147 hopefuls who ap plied for admission. Because of limited housing facilities the majority of these applicants, regardless of high qualifications, were of necessity denied admission. This is a dangerous sit uation, indeed, for no college can grow into a great institution if it is forced to reject such a large number of deserving would be freshmen. It is understood that the college ad ministration is decidedly disturbed over the prospect of continually being forced to turn down a large number of potentially good college students. 10ur administration need worry no longer. Recently at a meeting of some of the greatest contemporary minds, a plan to alleviate this situation was form u l'ated. It shall be known as the Collegian Plan and will undoubtedly assume its right ful place as one of the great educational advances of this generation. The Collegian Plan is simplicity itself. It recognizes the elementary fact that the student body is composed of two sexes, male and female. The relation of these sexes depends upon the ratio of men to wo men on the campus. When as in the past, men greatly outnumbered women, women were much in demand and men became the pursuers. Under these circumstances dormitor ies were erected to house the women at the College, and it was only right to do so, for the dormitories made the close supervision of coeds possible. Today, however, under vastly different circumstances, to refuse admission to women because of no dorm itory accommodations is without reason. Since the ratio now favors the coeds and will continue to do so for some time to come, women will soon become the ag- gressors. The Collegian plan, in short, suggests that the men on campus be housed in the dorms. They should be provided with chap erons, be required to be in the dorms at ten o’clock on weekday evenings, and should be made to observe a number of dating reg ulations. All this will operate for their own protection, because the large number of excess coeds will give them no peace. In the meantime all the qualified coeds who apply can be accepted and housed in the many rooming houses downtown. In this way Penn State will be able to take its proper place as a great university with a large enrollment, and the morals and welfare of its few men students will be pro tected against the ravages of the hordes of predatory females soon to descend upon its Collegiate Review Princeton has the largest collection of death masks in the United States, sadly admits the Oc cidental. "The Trojan Woman” will be presented in the Cal Greek Bowl, trumpets the Daily Californian. The Gamecock gives us this little mix-up. Phthignkhce is not a pig Latin or German or any other foreign language but is a hybrid spelling of the common (or is it common?) American word “thanks.” It’s even pronounced as the good ole English version. Just pronounce “phth” as in phthisis, “i” as in meringue, “gn” as in gnostic, “kh” as in khaki, and “ce” as in fleece. The Indiana University Theatre will shortly present the students with “A Bill of Divorcement.” See how much cheaper it is to come to Penn State! Pray, butcher spare yon tender calf. Accept my plea on his behalf; He’s but a babe, too young by far •To perish in the abattoir. Oh, cruel butcher, let him feed And gambol on the verdant mead; Let cloVer tops and grassy banksl Fill out those childish ribs and flanks; Then may we, at some future meal Pitch into beef instead of veal. The California Bruin has just issued another of its statements admitting its own superiority in the field of journalism. The story was sub-headed “A Plague on Both Your Houses.” Seismographs as far away as Harrisburg recorded the shock. The Southern California Trojan seemed very proud to report that its band would present a concert under the distinguished' baton of Morton Gould, noted modern composer. Mr. Gould planned to introduce two of his own selections at the pro gram. Details of the G. I. bill by which the govern ment helps pay for the education of veterans of the armed forces of this war were .released re-; cently by the Association of American Colleges, sponsor of the bill, we hear from Indiana Uni versity. Any man or woman who has had active service since September 15, 1940, and who has been hon orably discharged is eligible if his or her educa tion has been interfered with vy military service. Eligibility is based on service of 90 days or more in the armed services, exclusive of time spent in any such programs as the ASTP or V-12. The “ology” that holds the key to human rela tions is not psychology, biology or geology, but plain everyday apology. THE COLLEGIAN * * «k $ 0 * * * —Gamecock * * ijt i;< :> $ >;-< —The Indiana Daily Student A Lean And Hungry Look Long, long ago, in the time of peace, and beer and skittles in the Nittany valley, a young man nam ed Milton Dolinger wrote a column called “A Lean and Hungry Look.” Now with the Fifth Army in It aly, Pvt. Dolinger has favored me with a billet doux. Some of the things he has to say are well worthy of serious consideration by the student body, others are mere ly a degenerate attack upon the present Cassius. The Front, Italy My dear, my very dear Mr. , I think that is your name. That is what they have told me. Better that than address you as your pil fered name, “Cassius!” I have read, or rather regurgi tated through your efforts at “A Lean and Hungry Look.” What a dastardly mockery of the name. Haven’t you any originality? Must you steal and defame a noble col umn started by the first Cassius and bequeathed to another . . . but after that the dynasty ended! But, on. reflection, excuse me. You must have originality, if not in title matter, surely Tn content. For never did Cassius write as you do. Not even after a night’s in voking of satyrs to dance on Bac chus’ grave. A far better writer than you can e’er aspire to be, Miss Lee Learner, asked to use “A Lean and Hungry Look,” for -her col umn, but was dissuaded. “Colleg ian.” certainly has become degen erate when it will countenance plagiaristic defamations. Far be it to cry, O temporal O Mores! but, if the school’s atti tude is reflected truthfully in your paper, I suffer for it. Either that may be true, or your report ing isn’t accurate. I assume it to be in this instance. This is not directed to you alone, Nauseous, but to everyone. You prate there of “customs” and lisp of “politics” at a time when the world is bathed in .blood, and you instead should be humbly aware of it, but ho, in "Nittany Valley there is an. aura of self ishness, of greed. Let the events of the day go hang today we will make,the freshmen roll their trousers above their knees and walk duck-footed" and the mall will resound with gaiety and love of fellow men. Faugh! When, by the hairs of 'the Pro phet’s dewlaps, is Penn State go ing to wake up? In talking' to several former students, cut off in their prime from finishing there by other, slightly "more im portant world events, the attitude is—“lf State is that way now, how will it be when we go back? Maybe we won’t go back!” I don’t propose you all prac tice “weltschmerz,” but mayhaps you might try to become aware of the ancient, tiresome, and oft laugh - provoking . ch e stnut, “There’s a war going on, y’- know.” As for you personally, Mr. , you continue castrat ing Cassius through curses heap ed upon your pin-feathered head by the self-safe oracle on the side of Vesuvius who foresaw the ruin of that other false,, corrupt creation, Pompeii. Desist, desist, ere the fate of Caesar overtake' you. In short, as even an imitator of “A Lean and Hungry Look,” you stink. . Leanly' and Hungrily yours, M. B. Dolinger CASSIUS. Dear Milton, You will forgive me for calling you Milton, won’t you? I feel that any • man who insults me so warmly and intimately as you do’must" be a fri.end; no mere ac quaintance would have the bad taste. Now that we have cleared up our little matter of knowing each other, Milt, old boy, let’s discuss your letter. The last thing I expected,. by writing this column, was to bring down your fearsome wrath upon my head. You see, Milton, ma . cherifyut went like'this.'-The ed -1 FRIDAY, AUGUST 25, 1944 and said, "Why don’t you write a column?” “What shtould I write?” I wanted to know. ’ “Oh, try ‘A Lean and Hungry Look’,” he said. “Even you could n’t write it any worse than Dol inger did. Heck, nobody could.” Since I agreed wholeheartedly with the editor in this estimation, “your” column was reborn. ' From your letter I learn that Miss Lee Learner (who damn well is a better writer than 1 am) was “dissuaded” from writ ing this column. Why didn’t you add that what “dissuaded” her was your swiping the cut for the top of the column from the print shop? Is my memory a trifle too long to suit your taste, Milty? Now for you “There’s a war going on y’know.” A fellow gets a pretty good idea that there is ■ a war going "on before being dis charged from the Army as the present writer was. But all right, we are students at a college. What can we accomplish here, but do any little work possible, and hope and pray for victory, and the safety of guys like you, Milt who are making it a reality? Do you think it would expedite the conduct of the war one bit if we lifted “customs?” Do you think it would bring you home one day sooner if we did away with Campus “politics?” I don’t see that it would, Milt, and in all fairness, I think you will have to admit the same. Incidentally, ex-Cassius, I’m sorry you don’t like my column. I didn’t like the pompous ver bosity of yours very much, and I was a little bit hurt by the harsh names you called me. But then I got out the last copy of La Vie and looked at your, pic ture. Gosh, Milt, I can’t get mad at a fellow with a - puss like yours; I suppose this letter is the wrong sort to write to a soldier. Taking my cue from • yours, it turned out to be a bit facetious. ' I would like you to believe, how ever, that the last, three words are offered in gratitude, and re spect, and all sincerity. Good luck, Milt. Your pal, CASSIUS PJS. —Can -you -lend me five" bucks? I want to send you a framed, autographed picture of myself. LETTERS TO EDITOR August 23, 1944 The Collegian Staff Carnegie Hall - Penn State Dear Sirs: After reading your column of, gripes in last week’s I’ve decided to send my own. gripe in. Many Frosh are on the campus for only one semester, perhaps the last semester of their lives. If they speak to girls after 5:30 pin. let alone walk down the. street with one,, they are prompt ly forced to .appear before Tri bunal and theru God knows what!. Customs have gone for one-half the semester now; it is not time, to remove them? Have pity on the' poor boys! They want to enjoy' their last days as much as any one else. I. am quite sure' the, Penn State spirit has been in stilled in their bones! Sincerely- yours, Bill Johnson P.S.—Notice that I signed it! Dear Mr. Johnson, “. . . perhaps the last semester of. their lives.” . “They want to enjoy their last’ days as much as anyone else.” y The future looks quite obscure to you. Why not let the future . come as it may? Live the present, ■ wear your customs. One of. the most difficult situations can attempt is to explain the mean- , ing of customs.- It is only when ’ ' the student has graduated, and he reminisces of freshman days y ■
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers