si 7t The Forest Kepnbltcan la pahll-Oio. every Wcdn lay, by J. C. WcNX., Office in Sracarbaugh ft Co.'i Bulltlinj ELM 8THEET, TIOSESTA, TA. Term, H 1 .00 lr Vom r. No subscription- rw ved for a shorter period than tnroe mo UT. Correspondence aoi.;liu (ro n nil pmi of tha country. No nolc will bn taken 01 snonymous oo.iimunia.utou. RATES OF ADVERTISING! One Squire, one Inch, one insertion. .1 1 00 One rqmre, ope Inch, one cionth. ., 8 HO One Fqur. one Inch, turee months. . fl ' One Square, one inch, one year..,., 10 (HI Two Hqutre, fine yp-ir .... l"i "O Quarter Column, one year 8 ) no limit Column, one year , tit 00 One Column, one year tOU UO Je?nl advertisement ton cents per line earn insert Ion. Marriages an'! Heath notices grati. All bills ;or year y advertise r! -nu c I'eoted quarterly Tempor ir a tvurt!m- uli roust be paid in advance. Job work casli on del'verr. RE PUBLICAN. VOL. XXX. NO. 36. TIONESTA, PA.. WEDNESDAY, DEC. 22. 1897. S1.00 PEll ANNUM. RE o ST Twently-flve of tho counties of Georgia were named for men who Lad been Governors of the Htato, all of tnte-war times. A suggestion from Tennessee, that the body of General Bara. Houston bo removed thither for reinterment, ha8 aroused indiguant and vehement pro tests in Texas, A calamity has fallen upon Boston, and soon an appeal for pecuniary aid may be expeoted. Tbe calamity is without precedent in that city, al though it is common enough in some otherplnoes. There are 3000 children without a school iu which to say their lessons, and all because the funds of the School Board have run out and necessary repairs cannot be made on the school buildings. The wealth of Greater New York if almost beyond boliof, . Its real estate nud personal properly are assessed at the enormous, tho almost inconceiv able sum of $2,800,000,000. Compare this with the assessted value of all the property iu the richost States of the Union, as follows: Massachusetts, $2, 154,000,000; Pennsylvania, S2.G0O, 000,000; Ohio, $1,778,000,030, and Illinois, $810,000,000. Th.e French War Department has begun a series of experiments with horseless carriages to test their value in time of war. A number of engi neers are engaged in testing thetn in every way, going off the publio roads into lanes and by-paths or across plowed fields. Very full notes are taken as to the consumption of oil or essence speed attaiued, and all the slight inoidents of the route. "Build your own boat!" is the in struction given to Klondike explorers who would cross some of the waters that intervene between them and .the gold fields. In ono sense every man is obliged in thia . world not only to "paddle his own canoe," bnt also to build his own boat. There are some things that each human being must do for himself. Free transportation across life's difficult stretches cannot be expected to be always at hand. In dividual enterprise is continually called for. The Philadelphia Itooord says iu regard to Thomas A. Edison's latest project that it is a discovery in the soienoe of economics. Whether or not his particular operations at Edison, N. J., upon which he has expended a fortune of about $2,000,000 shall suo ceod or fall, enough is known of his work to enable us to predict that it will revolutionize future methods of blasting mountains, handling rock, concentrating low grade ore and pro ducing a marketablo product by auto inutfo appliances, using nature's forces iullie most economical fashion. Never before has a new experiment been undertaken upon such a gigantio scale, and the very nature of the problem oompelled its treatment in this whole sale manner. . Tho Boston Herald thinks it is singu lar that in the search for a parallel to the death of nenry George the in stance of Daniel Webster has not been mentioned. Thore is uo perfect par allel to Mr. George's death. Borne of our exohauges Lava gone so far as that of Horace Greeley to seek it, though Mr. Greeley died after the voting was all over. Daniel Webster died at tho height of the campaign of 1852, when there was a ticket of electors in nomi nation for him in Massachusetts, to which he had asseuted, if not as a test of his strength, with a view to lessen ing the vote of the regular Whig can didate for the Presidency. He was not living when tho vota was taken, but the ticket was kept in the field, and was supported by those who put it there, after his death. The New York Tribune thinks it is certainly something of a tribute to American educational institutions and scholars that when, some years ago, a graduate of Harvard went to Oxford and applied for admittance there to make a special study of Shakespeare for a year, he was told: "Go back to Harvard and Professor Child. They can teaoh you far more there than we cau here." It seems, however, that this opinion had been expressed be. fore, even at time when Harvard and American colleges had not nearly at' tamed their present staudard, for the elder Edward Everett, in a letter dated as fur back as 1818, said, writing from Oxford: "I have been over two mouths iu England, and am now visit' ing Oxford, having passed a week in Cambridge. There is more teaching and wore learning in our American Cauibrid(?vthan there is iu both the Euglish UgiLersities together, though betwoen tfiu they have four times our uunibeiof students." ? SWEET CHRISTMAS TIME. Oh Christmas chlmosl O Ohrlstmas. timesi The sweetest and the brightest: Whim honrti bent high and pulsos fly, Ana childhood s stops are ngiitosu When rmlily oheeks are ruddiest, And rod Una llko a cherry. O Christmas near! O Christmas uorel Ho sparkling and so merry! Old Hantn Clnns with ample cause, For children nil ailoro him Whllo thny'ro asleep, takes many a poep At trundle-beds before him; And thnn ho laughs not In his sleeve, For tnnt Is run, bollove it. Of Christmas toys, for girls and boys, Ana ooukl not well receive it. friwsw9?M?r,w?')?p'j?!y5; SMALL PERTATERS' CHRISTMAS PARTY. ill! TSy MARGARET EYTINGE. T was about nine o'clock on Christ mas Eve. Small Pertaters was standing on one leg, with the other twisted around it, looking into one of the windows of Purcell's large bakery. He could smell the mince pies, that, fresh from tho oven a short time b afore, had just been placed in it. "They smells bnlly good," he said, giving a great sniff. "I wishod I had one." But he might as well, poor little fel low, have wished for the moon (he would have stood as good a chance of getting it), for not one cent was there, either in the ragged pockets of his ragged trousers, or the ragged pockets of his ragged coat. (This coat had once been the spriug overcoat of some one twice as big as Small Pertaters, and it was worn to a fringe all around the bottom from trailing on tho ground.) "I'd rather," said Small Pertaters, "have one of them nor any thin' .else. They's meat an' wegetables an' candy an' cake all to wnnst, they is. . An' how brown their kivers is. I never seen sich werry brown kivers on a pie afore." At this moment a gentleman and a lovely fair-haired littlo girl, followed by a small white dog, went into tho shop, stayed there a short time, and ooming out again, hastened np the avenue. Small Pertaters gazed after them. "Her hair was jist like shiny gole," he said. "B'pect she has mince pie every day of her life. But it's no use me standin' here. It makes mo hun grer au' hungrer lookin' at them pies. I'll go home an' eat my supper; an' 'taiu't every boy what's got a soup bone, with a "lut of niarrer in it an' a hunk of gristle an' meat a-hangin' to it, an a fresh biscuit, au' a cole biled pertater, in his coat tail pocket." And, turning quickly from the win dow, he spied the small white dog which had been followiug the gentle man and the golden haired child sniff ing at the same coat-tail pocket. "Jimmy Jinks!" said Small Per taters; "if that hog of a dog ain't a tryin' to hook my bone. An' I sp'ect he has more soup bones nor what he knows what to do with where he lives, for he's a nobby dog, he is. Git out, yon swell pup." And the "swell pup," starting to get out, discovered that he had lost his master and mistress, and ran to and fro, with nose to the snow-covered pavement, eagerly seeking a trail of them, for five or ten minutes. Thou, giving up in despair, ho seated him self before the boy, who stood watoh iug him, and shaking his muddy little paws, looked up into his face in the most beseeching manner. "It's too bad, "said Small Pertaters, patting his head with a very dirty hand, ' 'Guess they must have got on to a car, ole feller; an' the best thing you kin do is to come home with me, an' we'll look for 'em to-morer." 'they smells bully good,' he said." And, as though he understood his new friend perfectly, the dog trotted after him as he went a few blocks down the avenue, aud turned, first into Thirteenth street, and then into Gausevoort street. Here the boy strode quickly along, whistling cheer ily, his bauds iu what was left of his trousers pockets, until he stumbled over something that was lying on the sidewalk. Stooping to see what it was, he fouud a brown hen, with her legs sticking up straight aud stiff. "It's got shut out of its lodciu's'" said he, "an" it's froze. But p'r'ps 'taiu't a hull goner. I'll git it loose au' take it home with me, anyhow." So he searched about until he found a stone, with which he broke the ice around the hen, aud, setting it free. with the loss of a few feathers, he I The good old man will p!ot and plan Like any Rrent commander, Or swim loop sons tho young to ploaso- Ai did tho brave Loandor. Not only pneks of jumplng-jnckg Adorn his ample shoulders. But bats and boots and stylish suits Astonish all beholders. O Christmas bells, your music tolls A tain of Joy and gladness Of fireside, ponce, of swoot lnoroaso And not u tale of sadness; For even Tovorty lifts up Hor thousand, thousnud voices, And for this time, this ono bright titno Of goodly ohoor, rojoloosl Mrs. SI. A. Klddor. W7tPWnP')MflllMn9iinRonerwoinBnjorDnBnBnnnnl Hi m wont on again, carrying it with him, the dog still following. But ho had only gouo o block farther, when he heurd a pitiful mewing come from an ash-barrel that stood beforo a tene ment house, and, peeping in, he saw a black and white kitten sitting on the ashes. "'Pears to me I'm boun' to have a party ter-night," said Small Pertaters. Here s another young friend a-wait- in' to come homo 'vith me. All right, pussy; here goes." Aud ho lifted her out tof the barrel, and stowed hor away inside of his bigeoat. "There's noth- in mean bout me, spociully roun Christmas times." And in another minute or two he and his three guests had arrived at the end of the street, aud the end of their journey. They had reached Small Pertaters' home "sweat, sweet home," indeed, in one sense of the word; for what do you think it was? An olu molasses cask lying upon its side on the wharf, near the river. Getting down on his hands and knees, Small Pertators, by the aid of a street lamp that stood near by, took a sur vey of the inside of the cask, and finding no intruder there, crawled in, laid down the hen and kitten, aud then went back for tho dog, who lin gered at the entrance. "Come in, ole feller," said he oonx ingly. But the dog suddenly turned tail, "MERRY CHRISTMAS, t 1 and was making off, when Small Perta ters sprung out and flourished the bone before his nose. The temptation was too much. Master Dog joined the party in the molasses cask; and, wheu the supper was served, Small Pertaters gave him the larger part of the meat and gristle, aud, spreading the marrow as well as he could for it was hard aud cold on the biscnit, he fed half of it to the kitten, keeping the other half aud the cold potato for him-' self. As for the hen, she lay on her back as stiff as ever. "Guess she must be froze all through," said Small Pertaters; and then, with a sigh, ho murmured: "I ain't bo werry full as I might bo. Wished I had one of them mince" and fell fast asleep, the cat aud dog snuggled up, one each side of him. Bright and early Christmas morning a gentleman and a lovely littlo girl called upon the owner of the bakery into the window of which Small Per taters had been looking the night be fore. "Did you see anything of a little whito dog, after we left your shop last night?" they both asked, iu tho samo breath. "No; I did not, I am sorry to say," was tho answer. The tears started to the child's eyes. "Don't cry, dear," said her papa. "We haven't half looked for him yet. We'll find the policeman who was no this beat at the time we lost him, and very likely ho can tell us something about him. If he cau't, I'll advertise in all the papers to-morrow." But, fortunately, the policenan, whom they soon found, remembered seeing a small white dog trotting after a boy, between 9 aud 10 o'clock tho night before. "The boy was Small Pertaters," he said, "and that's the reason I didn't ask anything about the dog. He's au honest, good-hearted littlo chup, though he is a reg'lar Btrect-boy, with uo friends except such as he makes iu the street. They call hiiu 'Small Per taters' 'cause he's uo bigger than a boy of 0 or 7, though he must be t) or 10. But, small as he is, he cau beat and boy I ever saw at climbing aud jumping. And, as I was saying, wheu I saw the dog with him I didu't give it a seoond thought." "Where does he live?" asked the child, eagerly. ' "Most auywhere, I guess, Miss," answered the policeman. ' He ain't got any reg'lur home." "And you can't toll ns where to find him?" said the gentleman. "My lit tlo girl's Christmas won't be a very merry oue uuloss she gets some tidings of hor pet." "Well, sir, yon might make a try for it. Go along the north side of Gause voort street till you come to the river; Small Pertaters has a sleeping place somewhere iu that neighborhood, and maybe you'll meet him coming over to tho avenue a looking forhisbreakfost." So, leaving many thauks and a sil ver dollar for the officer's baby son be hind them, the chill and her father started off again, and. reaching Gause voort street, turned into it, walking slowly along aud watching both sides of the way, when, jnst as they arrived at the last corner, they met another policeman. "Small Pertaters?" said he, in an swer to a question of Mr. Mitchell's (that was the name of the little girl's father). "I guess you'll find him at home." "And is his hone near?" asked Dolly (that was the name of the littlo girl herself). "Bight over there," replied the po liceman. Bat, at thore was no house whore he pointed, the gentleman be gau to laugh. "Do you see that mo lasses cask?" said he. "Well, that's Small Pertators' home." "What a queer home!" raid Dolly; and, running across the street, she stooped aud looked into the cask. There lay the poor bay, a pieoe of car pet wrapped around hitn, fast asleep. On his breast sat the kitten washing her face, and from his Bide, with a joy ful bark, bounded a little white dog to greet his beloved mistress. The bark awoke the sleeping boy. He rubbed his eyes with his kuuckles, opened thorn, saw a lovely faoo looking in at him, heard a swoot voice call "Merry Christmas, Small Pertaters," and scrambled, winking and blinking, out into tho sunlight. "Jimmy Jinks! if I didu't thiuk you was one of them Christmas angols, fast," he said, with acurions mixture of shynesB and boldness. "Then I 'membered 'twas you I seen last night comin' out of a mince pie I mean a baker Bhop. An' I foun' your littlo dorg, an' I picked up a kitten an' a froze chicking. Jiminy Jenks! if she ain't melted," he exclaimed, as the hen came, slowly walking out of the cask. "An I went halves with my supper an' had a regular Christmas party." "I'm ever so much obliged to you," SMALL PEKTATERS." said Dolly; "and we'd like to have you come to our house aud have a Christmas dinner. Wouldn't we, papa?" she added, turning to her father, who now stood beside her. "Indeed we would, replied the father. "I don't look good enough," stam mered Small Pertaters, glancing at his ragged clothes. "But you are good enough, all the samo," said Dolly. "Any boy that'll take home a lost dog aud cut aud chickeu, when his home's nothing but a big barrel, and give them their sup per, whefl he dou't know where he'll get his breakfast next morning, is good enough to go anywhere And you cau bring your tompany with you." Aud off they all sturtod tho little girl carrying the chickeu iu her arms, the dog running gayly by her side, 4 -uall Pertaters following with the struggling hen huggod close to his breast. Aud after they reaohed the geutlemau's house it wasn't loug be fore the unexpected visitor had had a warm bath and a warm breukfust, aud only a little louger beforo he fouud himself dressed iu new clothes from head to foot. And the next day a bright-facod, neat-looking lad tacked a paper, on which was priuted the words "To Lut," on tho big molasses cask that lay on tho wharf, aud then, stepping back ward a few steps, ho made a flying leup over it, and ran away from his old street life forever. Leather Uulurky at Clirl.tina.. Christmas being the period iu which gifts ure numerous it Bee ins rather curious that it should be thought un lucky to bring shoes or leather arti cles into the house at this period, but such things are forbidden in au Eng lish county. Iu auother it is counted unlucky to bring auy holly into the house before Christmas Eve, aud in Loudou it must ull bo burned on Twelfth Day moruiug. The Christmas Tree. A stately fir tree roars Its hond, With stars and tapers all ablvzo; And quivering la the fairy ray, The gllttorlng loaded branches spread. And childish eyos aro sparkling bright, And childish hearts with Joy o'erllow, 74:d And on that Birthday long ngo Thoy ponder with a gravo delight. Then to tholr gifts they turn onoo moro, And in tho present suushlne lost, They foar uo future teinpost toss'd, But into fairy regions soar. Two LeccniU of tho Chrlst-Cliild. The following quaint story is from tho history of "The Nativity of Mary," a work that has for centuries furnishod themes for poots nud artists: "Mary and the child Jesus were resting in a save with Joseph aud a maid and three boys, who were with them on their journey. There came suddenly out of the sides of the cave a great number of dragons, aud when Jesus, slipping down from his mother's knee, stood m His feet before them, tho dragons fell down and worshipped Him. Then the Divine Child, seeing that Mary and Joseph wero filled with terror lest He should be harmed, said to them, 'Do not be afraid and do not consider Mo as a little child, for I am and al ways have been perfoct, aud all tho beasts of the field must bo tame bofore Mo." Many of the old painters have given us the terror stricken grqnp in tho cave, including tho girl and the three boys, but minus the monsters who caused them such a fright. The most beautiful of all the legends is "The Light of the World," which Bonguereau has so exquisitely pic tured for us in his "Repose in Egypt." Some travelers crossing the desert saw a brilliant light proceeding apparently from the Sphinx. Knowing that the altar of the sun stood there, they asked of one another iu amazo, "Can the peoplo be sacrificing again to the sun?" And when they drew nearer they saw that a littlo group of wan derers was resting beneath tho shadow of tho mystery of the desert. A man of middle age. dusky and travel otuined, was feeding a small gray ass, whilo on the arms of the Sphinx rested a young woman holding an in Taut to her breast. The radiaut light which had dazzled thorn shone from tho faoe of tho young child with a gr eat and excaeping brilliancy. Now the travelers going on their way, were tilled with awe and astonishment. Yet theydid not know that they had be held the "Light of tho World." Domorest. Holly. It has boon thought that "holly" is only anothor name for "holy," as the tree was once eonsidered sacred, but it is likely that the name is from the Welsh word for armor on account of the spear-shaped leaves. Tho holly is a slow growing tree which does not usually attaiu great size. Euglish holly is uot quite hardy hero, but may be grown with some protection. The leaves are a brighter greeu and tho berries a deeper red than those of our nativo holly. Some parts o! the tree aro good for medicinal pur poses. The wood of the holly is very hard and therefore useful for cabinetwork. A variety of holly was used in the titno of Honry VIII in England to mako skewers, picks, aud oven pins for dresses. The iuuer bark has a te nacious substance from which bird lime is made. Thore is a variety of holly in South America from the burk or leaves of which "mate" or Jesuit t&t is made. Besides the red-berried holly there are other varieties bearing white, yellow, and black fruit. One kind without berries bear frugruut flowers. The holly blooms iu May bearing pis tillate aud stuminate flowers on differ ent trees. The most curious thing about the holly is that on the lower branches the leaves are notched, as for a proteotiou, but the foliage higher up is smooth. Evelyn, iu his famous garden, used holly as a hedge, aud a very beautiful hedge it must have been. On C'briatmaa. "The church-bolls of innumerable sects are all ohime-bclls to-day, ring ing in sweet accordance throughout inuuy lands aud awaking a grout joy iu the heart of our common Immunity. " liev. Dr. Cbapin. A Natural Mltftuki-. ... F? . . MS Signor Frauchesi, tho rag -picket (meeting Santa Clans iu the eurlj morning) "Uullou! How's business? SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL, Wild birds do not siug more than eight or ton weeks in the year. In a year a horse will eat nine times his own weight, so will a cow, an ox six times and a sheep six times. The greatest force known to science is that produced by the contraction and expansion of metals, resulting from tho action of heat and cold. It is stated that the right hand, which is more sensitive to tho touch than the left, is less sensitive than the latter to tho effect of heat and cold. Lightning rods may bo valuable if large enough, audinsulatod sufficiently to carry away a bolt of lightuiug. The common lightning rod is not of much uso. In a recent loctnro rrofessot Bcrgmann, of Berlin, Btatod that in lift j cases of perforating tho skull foi epilepsy he know of only one perma nont cure. It has boon calculated by Koberl Ball that the whole coal supply of out planot would barely suffice to produce heat equal to that which the nun dis sipates iu one-tenth of a second. At the beginning of a recent thundei shower after a warm and windless da M. Maurice Dospres.of Cordova, Spain, noticed electrified drops that crackec faintly ou touching the gronud nuc emitted sparks. Tho phenomenon lasted several seoonds, ceasiug as the air becarao moistened. The first nso of the phonograph ic telegraphy seouis to have been in Spain, where receiving operators wore unable to take down rapidly enough messages receivod by telephone, and repeated into a phonograph. This repetition, being heard at the sending end, serves also as a control for tho correctness of the message A new laboratory turbine, claiming great steadiness, uoiselessness nud economy of water, has been designed by a German chemist, aud is to be mado iu Berlin by Koehler and Mar tini. A circular picco of wire gauze, rotating in a thin cylindrical space, is attached to tho axle. The water jot strikes the edge of tho gauze at a tangent, escaping by a pipo iu .the center opposito the nxlo, and may readily be mado to givo a speed of 4000 revolutions per miuute. Professor Eschonhugeu, of Potsdam, has continued his researches on the Buiall variations of tho earth's magnet ism first announcod by him last year. The most important oscillations have a period of about thirty seconds nud ooour chiefly botween G a. in. and G p. in., but ou two days since hist Octobor November 7, 181)6, aud Febrnary 4, 1897 shorter waves, lasting twelve or fifteen seconds, were observed. Groups of waves have been noticed on Boverul oocasions. The cause of tho phenom enon is uncertain, but it is believed to bo atmospheric. A French Poultry School. Britain's bill for eggs and poultry last year came to jC4,G0S,G0ti, which wont into foreign pockets. On the contrary, France pocketed 14,000,000 for her eggs and poultry. It is time wo had poultry schools ou the pattern of the oue at Gambais, in the depart ment of the Seine and Oise. The course is throo mouths and the fee 14, which includes board and lodging. Scholarships are founded to assist those who cannot afford tho fee. These are, of course, given only to French learners, but other nationalities are uot excluded, aud there are three Euglish pupils at the school now. It is to bo hoped that they will bring back a few hints with them, for there is no reason why we should not rear poultry as well as the French, aud keep the greater part of thut four and a half million pounds in the country. They work hard at the Gambais School, aud they have needed to do so, for thoy hatch 30,000 chickens in the season. The hours are from G a. m, to 8 p. iu., and out of this three hours are de voted to theoretical study. Half an hour is given to breakfast and half an hour to supper. There is a recess from 11 till 1, during which comes dinner. The rout of tho time is spent iu active labor. Tid-Bits. l rultjulco Hhoe I'ulUh, 1 Orange juice is one of the best dress ings for black shoes or boots, Take a slice or quarter of uu orange and rub it ou the shoo or boot; then, wheu dry, brush with a soft brush until the shoe shines like a looking-glass. This is au Euglish recipe. Another fruit dressing is for tan shoes, the inside of a banana skin. Hub the skin all ovet the shoe, thoroughly, wipe off care fully with u soft cloth briskly. Patent leuther shoes should not be polished with blacking. These aro the hardest kind of shoes to keep looking well, and require constant care. They may be cleaned with a dump sponge and im mediately dried with a soft cloth, with occasionally a littlo vaseline or sweet oil. They must never be donned iu cold weather without heating, or they will crack as soou us expostd to the cold air. An Infant WMi Ciruy llalr. Wheu little; Meyer Lipiuau, of 815 Blue Hill avenue, Chicago, was eight months old he could talk as well us most children of four or live yeuts. By tho time he wus a year old he could spell any word iu the first reader uud cimid talk uud understuud both Eug lish uud (ieruiuu. The extent of the boy's intellect told against his health, his hair turned gray and his face grow pallid. By the advice of a physician, who recommended thut the boy be kept from everything thut required mental effort, his books were taken uwuy from him uud he wus talked to only ou the most couimouplucu sub jects. The family moved to the coun try uud the littlo mun's huir gruduully regained its normal color. His parents are both clever sud well edilcutcJ people. New York World. FOUR THINCS. Pour thlntfs a man mint losrn to do. If he would make his record true; To think without confusion elearly, To love his fellow man Blnoerely, To act from honest motlv-ps purely, T ) trust In Ood and henvnn soenndy. -Dr. Henry Van Dyke. HUMOR OF THEDAY. Willie "Papa, what's tho 'Great Divide?'" Pa "It comes after au eleotion," Chicago News. She "This flat is so cold." He "Well, how can you oxpect a fire-proof flat to be warm?" Truth. Lancelot "Poets aro born, not made." Maud Sharpo "I know. I wasn't blaming you." Tit-Bits. He "She asked me what color hail I liked best," Sho "That's just like Maud. She is always so auxious to please." Judy. Little Elmer "Pa, what does 're quie8cat in pace' meau?" Prof. Broad head " 'Please stay dead' is near enough." Puck. Brown "It mikes me tired to hear peoplo call it tho Klondike fever." Yeast; "What would you call it?" "Tho Klondike chill." "I'm auxious to meet Mr. Hobbey; they say he talks just liko a book." "Yes; he does just likoablank book!'' Detroit Free Press. "Tommy," said the teacher, "what is meant by nutritious food?" "Some thing that ain't got no taste to it," re plied Tommy. Tit-Bits. He "I am willing to admit I was wrong." She "I expect you to do moro than that. Y'ou must admit that I was right!" Puck. N. Peck "My wife hasn't spoken n cross word to mo for two weeks.' Botterhaws "Wheu is she coming back?" Indianapolis Journal. "Dar nin' no wuss victim ob mis placed oonUdouco," said Undo Ebon, "dan do man who gits tor thiukin' he knows ov'rything." Washington Star. Irascible Englishman "Aw, look here, you needn't pokefnnat Punch!" Amiable American "Why not? It's the very thiug it lacks." Brooklyn Life. Teacher "What is tho difference betweon a fixed star uud auy other star?" Pupil "It deponds a good deal upon tho advance agent." Bos ton Transcript. Buggs "Say, do you believe that story of tho goose luyiug a golden egg?" Jaggi "Well, it would be just like a goose to do such a foolish thiug." Chicago News. "What n beastly cold you'vo got, Sam! Whore did you got it?" "It's not eold; it's hay fever. I got it dauo iug with that grass widow the other night." Punch. "It must take great nerve to charge a buttery." "Oh, not so much," said the ex-uinpiro. "I've put tiues on tho pitcher and catcher mauy a time." Iudiauapolis Journal. Jill "Is Gill a good judge of cigars?" Bill "I thiuk he must bo. Ho had two last night, and he gave mo ono. He must have kept tho beBt oue." Youkers Statesman. Itaggs "All this tulkjubuut tho world ooming to au cud is rank nonsense." jagg3''Why is it?" Buggs "How can anything round come to au end, I'd like to know!" Chicago News. "No, I cau't give you a job. I've as many hands now us I cau find work for." "Well, that needn't stand iu your way, guv'uor. The little I'd do wouldn't make no difference." Tit Bits. Mamma "Bessie, why dou't you wash tho dishes? It is easier to do a thing than to sit and thiuk about it." Bessie "Well, mamma, you wash the dishes aud I'll sit aud thiuk ubout it." Browning's Monthly. "No man can kuow everything," said tho high-miudod youth. "Between you au i me," replied Senator Sorg hum, "that's a fact. But there's uo ex cuse for a man's making tho mistake of owuiugttpto it." Wushiugtou Star. Smith "Your friend Wheeler is a crunk ou punctuality, isn't he?" Brown "I should say he is. Why, ho oven carries his wuteh iu tho roar pocket of his trousers, just to prevent his ever being behind time." Chicago Nowb. A Kpi lliiig Test. If you can spell every word correct ly iu the following rhyinos ull legiti mate expressions you may consider yourself qualitiod to euter a spelliuo bee: Htuud up, yo spellers, now and spoil Hpull phiiuukl.itoscopt) uud knell; (Jr take some siuiplu word us chilly Or Kuiik'or or the k'urdeii Illy. To spoil siieh words as syllogism, Aud lachrymose and sviieliroulsiu, Aud Pentateuch aud saecharluu Apocrypha and euladlue, Jepuinc and homeoput liy, Paralysis aud chloroform. Ithiuoeeros and pachyderm, Metempsychosis, gherkins, basque, . Is certainly uo easy ta-k. Kaledioscope uud Tenuussae, Kitintehatka aud erysipelas. And otlictlo uiid-sassufrus, Infulllhlu aud ptyutistn. Allopathy aud rheumatism, Aud cataclysm uud bclcaguvr. Twelfth, eighteenth, rendezvous, Intriguer. And hosts of other words ull found lln KngUsh uud on classic ground. Thutf, lieriu Straits und Michuolmus, Thermopylae, jalap, liavaitu, l'iuiuefoii and Jpec aeuanhu, Aud lluppauliuunock aud hlieuaudouh. Aud hiiuylkill uud u thousand more, Are words some prime good spellers mis iu dictionary laud liko this, Nor ueed oue think himself a scroylo If some of ilic-.it his elTorts foil, Nor doom himself mnlouo forever To miss tho uame of either river, Tho Uueiper, boiuo or Una lahpjtver. Itostou Journal. Muftt-ular fr'Uu. The most prodigious power of muscle is exhibited by tilth. The whale .moves with a velocity through a dense medium of water that would carry him, if continue. 1, round tho world iu something less t'.iau u fortnight, uud u Hwordtish has been known to strike his weapou clean through tho oak plauk of u ship. (
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers