S Tiio Forest Kcpablicm ' Is pnhll-he.1 every Wed a I y, hy J. E. WtNK. Offic In Bmcarbaugh & Co.'i EiiilOing ELM 8TKEET, TIOSESTA, Vk. RATES OF ADVERTISINOl One Square, on. inch, on. inrXSmn . I 00 On. inr, on. Inch, oae Month. .. 8 On. quart, on. inoh, thr. ra inths. . fl "0 Onerquare, on. inoh, on. year 10 in 1 wo bqinre. on. ye-ir .... 15 ml Quarter Column, on. fur...., 8 'M Half Column, on. jir..., M no fcn. Column, on. year ItW 00 Leial adTertiaeuisut. ten cenU iw tin. each insertion. Alamagei anil d.ith notion. grtl. All bills Tor yearly advertieninw collected quarterly Temporary adverU.-uieiiU run be paid in advanc. Job work cash on delivery. ST KEPTJ ICAN. J"J"nill, H l.o I'or Vonr.. ff( subscription r'.T4 for ft i horter period than tnroo month. Corre-ipondeo'-e aolleito I fro-n nil parti of th country. No notlo. will bo taken ol inonyinou cooimunloiiloni VOL. XXX. NO. 33. TIONESTA. PA., WEDNESDAY. DEC. I, 1897. 81.00 PER ANNUM. Fore BL British landlords are said to own 20,000,000 acres of land in thi coun- try' . Gormany's proportion of Filicides is larger tliau that of any other .Euro pean country. Year ago Prince Bismarck used to spell Ms uamo without the "c." The present spelling does away with the monetary significance of ' the name Bistnark two marks. Tho Loudon Echo givos a list of lnrge laud owners in Australia. One of them has 020,000 acres, another "V 1,200,000, n third 3,000,000, while the jJniou Bunk owns uo fewer than 700,000 acres. I According to the annual report erf the Interstate Commerce Commission tho amount of railway cnpilal in em ployment Juno 30, 1890, was $10,550, 805,771. This is about thirteen times the size of tho present national debt. Tho Loudon police are much worriod over tlie problem of what to do with drunkon meu when in charge of eleo trio cabs. They don't know exactly how to stop the cab and they don't know what to do with the cob when it does stop. Florida expects to send 200,000 boxes of oranges North this season, about doublo tho quantity shipped last yonr. That, however, is but ton por coutfof the yield before the great freeze and will not count for much in the market. An Ohio poultryman says t'.iat the oest way to prepare high-bred chickens tor poultry shows is to plnck thorn in he summer. lie says ho plucks them sleuu and then rubs the birds with grease. . By fall they have a beautiful second ooat of feathers, lie adds that it doesn't hurt the birds a bit. The birds didu't testify personally. Tho social ((iiiuofruta in Germany, which means everybody who objeots to Emperor William's absolutism and jolioves in a greater share in the gov ernment for tho people, are preparing to get representation in the Prussian diet. They already poll more votos ind have a larger number of rcpre jjeututives in the rcichstag than any other party in Germany. , A member of the British Parliament sau not resign. When he wishes to resigu he accepts the stewardship ol the Chiltcrn hundreds, a nominal office iu the gift of the crown, and paying a salary of twenty shillings a year. No member o( Parliament can remain in his seat after aoceptiug a Government appointment other than a Cabinet posi tion, aud this fiction of the steward ship has thus boon perpetrated for at "east rtOif ars. A - - The increase of the British army is avidently very seriously considered by the present administration, and the Solicitor General of, England, speak ing at a public meeting in Scotland, said that as a large increase in both the army and navy might become necessary, conscription may be intro duced. The statement bus called forth comment in all tho London papers, for thero lias been no conscription in Great Brituiu since the battle of Water loo. -' The destruction of ou Abyssitiiu'i Army iu Somulilaud is a striking bit of Fate's stern irony. Tho Italians invaded Abyssinia aud were over whelmed by tb use who were far bo heath them iu the scale of civiliza tion. Then the Abyssiujis in turn iuvaded Bomullluud, and were like wise vanquished by those who were a i far below them as they were below the Italians. Complete fitness now re quires the Somalia to get beaten by some still lower tribe, if such can 1 e fouud. They might, for example, suggests the New York Tribuuo, in vade Amhara aud full prey to the baboons. ' It is an unusual compliment (hat the Gcrmau "Government has puid tj David C. Suufoial, engineer of tho Connecticut Shellfish Commissimi. At the urgent solicitation of theGermuus he goes over there to present to Ger imiu scientists in a series of lectures tho results of his study of tho iiystor and- its euomies. Mr. Suuford will take with him his oulleotiou of oy-.tera aud their destroyers, said to be the most complete iu the world, aud toll of the methods followed iu cultivating the oyster and destroying its enemies by the pluuters of Luuglsluud Sound. Germany is trying to restore to its waters the oyster beds that were once a source of considerable income to German fishermen, but that neglect has practically ruiued. Mr. Kauford will investigate the trouble aud try to find a remedy to suggest to the Gor man i'iah Commiasiov MY FOE. Not from my foos without, but thows wltn ln, I pray to bo protected hour by hour; For Hint aggresslvo self that leads to din, And lures to pleasure with seduotlve power, Hlands ever by tho portal of desire, Anil mocks my spirit when it would aspire. From that most subtle too, disguised as friend, I need be ever on my guard, for when I eeaso for one brief moment to defend The castle of my soul, ho seeks me then Iu some uulookud-for wav, with mien so fair, and voles so sweet, tho while he sets his suiire. With honeyed words and sophistries, and lies, Me argues on tho pleasures of tho sense; And pictures lMity iu a hideous guiso. And laughs at Labor's paltry recompense; "Let dullnrds toil," bo cries, "thine is the right "To gather all IKe's blossoms of dellghtl" Again, In mask of teacher he appear. And cries, "Why seek to lift anothor's load? Each soul that journeys down the vale of tears Must carry his own burden o'er the road; Aoeept thine own, but let all others go." Despite his mask, I know him as my foe. My bnso foe, self, which, ouviousof tho goal It cannot roach, siuce formed of dying ciay. Would Milder and oppose my striving sou! That longs and labors for the better wav: And with this foo my spirit must contend, uy prayer anu vigu, even to me eno. Ella Wbccfcr Wlico. Q333333333333333333333QOO B A Deal In g Petroleum, j O33333333333033333333333OO HEN I mnst take your refusal as final? Very well. Hore is the document signed by Wilfred M err io u y o n r brother ncknowl- c. leuging nunseli a forgor and thief, and giving me powor to prosecute at any timo 1 tuiuk lit or may feel inclined Here is my offer: Marry me three months from now, this document will pass into your possession and your brother is safe. If not . " "If not?" "If you are foolish enough to persist in your refusal Wilfred Mernon will staud In the felon's dock before the mouth is out, and the brother of the beautiful Norah Merrion will in all probability serve seven years' penal sorvituue. im, wuy uo you persecute me thus? I was happy and in peace when I was poor but now that I am rich you force attentions upon me which are not only an insult to me, but to another,. also " "Ah! you refer to my nephew, Charles Crawford a olever lad, Norah, but poor, lou sneak of your wealth. I do not deny that your snug little 100,000 iu hard cash makes your at tractions doubly alluring; and do you think I am going to resigu all that in favor of my nephew CharleB? No, no. in laot, i do not tniuK 1 nave any more need for nun in my ofhee. "You will not discharge him?" I '."Yon would not advise me to keep a dog that has ouoe tried to bite who knows but that the next time he may suooeed? You are anxious for your brother; tuiuk of bin. ion have the wolfare of Charles Crawford at heart; do not ruin him, for as surely as you fail, to marry me I will crush them both. If, however, yon agree to my proposal, there is nothing that I will not do for them." "Give me time to think." "Not one moment. Yes or uo?" "I cannot I " "Your brother." "You torture me." "Yes or no " "Then God forgive me. If that is the only way to save Wilfred, I must do it." Notwithstanding the questionable manner iu which John Markani se cured his victory, he walked down to his office after the interview with Norah Merriou iu a cheerful, aud avon jubi lai.t, frame of mind. John Markani & Co. were well known in the city as a firm of high re pute, engaged iu the oil trade. Johu Markani, the solo partner, had crept up from small beginnings; diring the lust mouth, however, he had made con tracts which, when completed, would plrt'ie htm outhe high road to fortune, Home three yeai s ago, when Wilfred Merriou, Norah s brother, was a clerk in John Mark ham's office, a series of petty thefts had taken place, culminat ing iu the cashing of a forged check for a considerable amount. Tho guilt being directly traceable to Wilfred Merriou, Johu Markhaui, find ing that nothing was to be gained by prosecution, compelled the youug inuu to eigu a paper acknowledging his do liuqueucy, aud discharged him. I'or some time nfter discharging Wil fred from his employ John Markani thought little or uothiug about the Merriou family, but when it cume to his kuowlefffce that au eccentric old gentleman iu the person of Norah's uucle had died, leaving her a fortune of 100,0110, his interest was suddenly i wakened. "One hundred thousand pouuds," he mused "not iu questionable securi ties, but in one solid sum ou deposit at the bank, ready o be drawn iu one single check! John Slurkam, you must see into this. Aud from that day Noruh Merrion was allowed no peace, and uotwith standing the fact that she had promised to marry Charles Crawford long before her fortune came to her, the threats and persecutions of Johu Markain cul minated as wo havo seen. Upon entering his office John Mark am rang the bell and summoned his chief into the private room. "Crawford, let me have those lust contracts. Now, lot me see," he went on when the ilocuiuentu were laid be fore, him, "how Uo we stund? Que I contract for 20,000, one for 60,000 and one for 30,000, that is to say, 100,000 tons of llussian petroleum ia all, at 1 per ton equals 100,000. We bny at an average of 64s. per ton. or 320.- 000, leaving a profit of 80,000, a very moo little ileal. 1 think, Crawford, that when I have seen this through I shall Boll thebuisuess and retire." "Indeed, sir!" "Yes, I am about 'tired of commer cial life; these transactions will be through in three months, and then I am going to be married." You surprise me, sir. "Aye, life is full of surprises. You know Miss Merrion, I think!" Miss Merrion! Yes, Miss Merrion; but why in that tone of voice? Don't you approve of the lady?" "This is no subject for iest, Bir; you know as well as I do that Miss Mer rion is my promised wife." Indeed! It is my turn to ha sur prised. I certainly knew that you ad mired the lady, and I have uo donbt that you fostered hopes in that direc tion; but when you .have tho cool effrontery to inform me that yon are engaged to marry her I can only mar vel at your audacity." "With all respect due to you, sir, as my onclo and my employer, I must say that tho statement you have just made is not only untrue, but you know it to be untrue. I was engaged to marry Miss Merrion long before she Was au heiress, and we were merely waitingnnt.il my position improved." "Aud do you think you aro likely to improve your position by calling your master a liar? After this conduct you cannot remain in my employ. 1 will dispense with the three mouths' no tice, and draw you a check in lieu of it. Be prepared to lcavo in live min utes. Go." . A few minutes later the bell rang again, aud Crawford, hat iu hand and coat' thrown over his arm, entered the sanctum. '"I am sorry to have to part with you like this, Crawford, but there ' is no other corn-Re opon to mo. I have just left Miss Merrion, and she has complained to ine of your fortune hunting propensities, and asked me to use my influence to pttt an end to your persecution of her. .Here is a check for 200, and I sincerely hope that you will endeavor to cultivate rnoro gentlemanly manners in your future career." Quietly closing the door after him, Johu Markam's nephew left the office. The fickleness of fortune as demon strated by the events of the last fif- ten minutes caused an indescribable feeling of dismay in the young man's mind. Charles Crawford aa chief clerk to John Markhain & Co., with prospects of a partnership, was now Charles Crawford, with 200 iu his pocket and a few more hundreds in the bank, aud prospects nil. His first thought npon leaving the office was of Norah. Could it be as his uncle had declared, that she looked upon him merely as a fortune hunter? No, he wonld not believe it, and full of determination to ascertain the truth from Norah herself, he made his way to her home. The cry of joy that fell from her lips when he presented himself before ber boou banished all thoughts of her inoonstaucy from his mind. In a few moments she had told him all; tho iuorimiuating document, signed by her brother Wilfred, the per secutions of John Markain, and the extraordinary sacrifice demanded from her in order to save Wilfred from ruin. "What can we do, Charlie? Poor Wilfred is bo happy with his wife aud child; is au error of the past to rise up and ruin his life? I wonld give my whole fortune to find a way out of this trouble. I eaunot give you up, Charlie, aud yet if we do not hit upon some plau " "You will marry John Markani?" "No, no, I do not say that, Charlie, but I must save Wilfred." It was stnkiug ID o'clock that night when Crawford left Nora Merrion. As he walked along plunged iu thought the rattle of a tire engine dashing past roused him from his reverie, and a lurid glare in the sky told him that a vast conflagration was iu progress. Upon hastening to the spot he fouud that the premises and store yards of a large firm of coopers were on fire. A hnge stack of many thousands of newly made barrels was well alight, and from the iutlammable nature of the mater ials it was soon evident that all etlerts to hold the fire in cheok wore hope less. In a few hours the whole of the premises would be gutted. As Crawford gazed upou the burn ing pile, a sudden thought surged through his brain. After considering a few moments he hastily retraced his steps, and lute as he was, sought an other interview with Nora. They talked far into the night, and it wus lute when he finally reached his lodgings. IusteajluHf retiring to rest, however, he" sturtodTo write, and when the dawn of the new day streamed through the window, he wus still busy with his peu. Eight o'clock saw him at the tele graph office with a sheaf of messages iu his baud addressed to all the prin cipal coopers aud barrel makers in the kingdom. They were nearly all of the same tenor, and ran as follows: "Contracts wanted for any part of 500,000 bairels to be delivered during next three nioiuhs. wire price and number you can undertake. Terms: Half cash on signing agreement, balance ou delivery. Bunkers aud references. Paris, London Merrion, Crawford & Co., Benger's Court, Loth bury, Loudon." Ilulf an hour later he had secured the offices aud fixures of a bankrupt firm in Benger's Court, and by 9 o'clock a temporary sign hung outride of the door bearing the legend, "Merriou, Crawford & Co." The services of fonr lawyers' clerks were hastily secured and they were set to work writing out duplicate contracts in blank in anticipation of the arrival of the answering telegrams. I he senior partner of the new firm. in the person of Miss Norah Morrion, drove up in her brougham at 10 o'clock, and a few minutes later saw her and Crawford in the private office of the bank manager. The banking arrangements were rapidly completed, and Charles loft with full power to draw npon the new firm s acoouut for any sum or sums up to 100,000. On their return to the office thc found that a number of telegrams had already arrived, and by noon the next day the firm of Merriou, Crawford & Co. found themselves responsible fot Bhe payment of nearly 000,000 barrels at prices ranging from 8s. to 4s. each, John Mark am was well satisfied with himself matters were flowing very smoothly with him, bis business en gagements he calculated would bring him in a comfortable fortune, and bo far as he could see no cloud appeared upon the horizon of his prosperity. In his hours of leisure the thought of Norah Merriou aud her fortune brought a smile of triumph to his face. Once wedded to her and the turmoil oi business would involve him no more. and if a doubt of the success of his matrimonial schemes crossed his mind the perusal of Wilfred Merrion'a con fession instantly banished it. "8he will wed me to save het brother. Crawford is out of my path, so I have nothing to foar. But the plans of the cleverest men sometimes go astray, and when John Markham attempted to negotiate fot barrels in which to store his oil, he suddenly awoke to tho fact that some smart hrni had cornered the market. His contracts had to be fulfilled dur ing the next three months. Unless he had barrels to send his oil away in, the contracts would fall through aud he would be ruined. But when he discovered the name of the firm, his rage knew no bounds. The delay of a few hours had placed him at the mercy of Norah Merrion and Charles Crawford. Toward the end of the month, when the first contract became due, he poo keted his pride and wrote to Merrion, Crawford & Co., asking for a quotation of 100,000 barrels, and when tho an swer came back, "10s. per barrel," he felt that he was really iu the hands of the enemy, and utter despair took pos session of him. The next day he received a tote from Crawford: "If John Markani will come to Benger's Court, at 12 o'clock, matters might be arranged to suit both parties." When at 12 o'clock he was ushered into tho private office at Benger's Court- he fonud himself iu the pres ence of Norah Merrion. Ab he came forward to take her hand, she rose and motioned him to a seat. For a moment there was silence. "We meet under somewhat different circumstances, Mr. Markatu." He bowed in assent. v "It is not my wish," she continued, "to indulge any idea of revenge which would probably recommend itself to any other person in my position. I understand from Mr. Crawford that it depends npon this firm whether you become a rich man or a bankrupt." "That is so." "I havo certain terms to offer which, if you aoeept, well and good if not " "Name them! "Iu the first place you must baud me the confession written by my brother, and sign a documeut promis ing not to molest him in any way." "And then? "Iu the secgud plaoe, this firm has contracts on which will bring in a con siderable sum; you have engagements which I understand will make you practically independent. Agree to my first proposition and take Mr. Craw ford into partuership; that is to Bay, oombiue the two firms, work off ull the contracts, and then dissolve each to have half the profits. Do you agree?" "You are too generous, but what does my nephew say?" "Here is Charles to answer for him self." "I say let us bury the whole of this miserable business aud ring a peal of bells over its grave. Norah aud I are to bo married next week, uncle; will you come aud dauce at our wedding?" "I will, my boy, and I ask pardon from both of you for the unhappiness I have caused you. It has beeu a caso of diamond out diamond. I envy you your happiness, aud I shall never forget that it was your generosity that brought to a triumphant issue my 'deal iu petroleum.'" Loudon Tit Bits. Sugar From Potatoes. Au extensive economical revolution is iu sight, if the claims of Dr. Priuzeu Geeiliugas turn out to be whut the doctor asserts they are. Dr. Goer lings, a government official of Java ami formerly professor of chemistry at the University of Amsterdum, an nounces the discovery of a simple method of converting potato standi into sugar. He has lodged his descrip tion of the method with the French Academy of Sciences, bo as to secure priority for his iuveutiou, although he is not quite ready to make the details public. Science. Corn Kt the Pari. Kto.ltiou. The Paris Exposition offers an in viting schoolroom. American cooks turning out griddle cakes, hoe cukes, corn pone, bread made from eoru and rye, bread made from an admixture of corn flour aud wheat flour and all of the many delightful corn products, serving them free to visitors from all over Europe, from all over the world, would do much to make the advant ages of America's great cereal known aud appreciated. ludiuuupolis News. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. A Taking Young Fellow Kattly Defined The lHncmtrlconii Interruption Fired Itnck Part, of fpeeeli A Onnnlnf Delight 111. Spliere ot Activity, Eto Ho took her fancy when he came; He took her hand, ho took a kiss; He took no notice of the shame That glowed her happy cheek at this. He took to coming afternoons; He took an oatli he'd no'er deceive; Ho took her father's silver spoons, Aud after Hint he took his lcavcl Easily Defined. "What is courting danger, Uncle Simon?" "Any kind of courting." The Discourteous Interruption. "What is a rude awakeniug,' pa?" "Well, it is an awakening before 8 o'clock in tho morning." Fart, of 8peec!i. "Were you knocked speechless when you ran into thnt ice wagon?" "No; but my wheel was knocked spokeless." The Wheel. Fired Rack. "You cqnsidcr this garbage question an important one, do you not?" "My dear sir, it's tho burning ques tion of the age." Chicago Post. No Limitation.. "Dodsworth, your wife seems to bo a woman of commanding presence." "Commanding presence! By Jove, sir, my wife cau command when sho's abseU." A Genuine Dellirlii. "There is one thiug which gratifies a woman more than all things else." "And whnt is that?" "Being told that other women are jealous of her." Chicago Kecord. 111. Sphere of Activity. -First Citizeu "I never was so busy as I am now." Second Citizen "Whnt nro you do ing?" First Citizen "I'm looking for a job." Brooklyn Lifo. Cleaned Out. Perry Patottio "Please, mister, sould you help tho victim of a wash out?" Mister "Of a washout?" "5fes, mister. I ain't had nothin' but wottor to drink for two long weeks. " Cincinnati Enquirer.' Tho Dln"ereuce. "What do you think will tie tho ef !ect of that politician's lutest utter ance?" "It depends on the individual," replied Willie' Washington. "Peo ple who like him will call it 'a praise worthy step,' aud those who don't will refer to it as 'a shrewd move.'" Washington Star. A Change of Heart. He "I think I shall have to preach a bicycle sermon to-morrow advising all my parishioners to rido awheel." She "Why, Joseph, it was only threo-weehf ago that you denounced the wheel most thoroughly." He "Yes; but remember, my dear, that was while I was learning to ride." Harper's Bazar. A Wpnderfiil Man. "What a patient mau thut Hanford is?" "Is he patient? I never noticed it." "Yes; he inflated his tires with a hand pump this morning without swearing thut he would throw the thing away and kick his wheel to pieces rather thau ever to try to do it again." Cloveland Leader. Tied Up. "There's the wood pile," significant ly suggested the housewife when Meandering Miko applied for a re past. "Madame,"he replied, "dis here is one o' de mos' uieluucholly coinci dents (hit ever happened. I'm de President of de 'Sociutiou of Wauder ing Woodchoppers, an' it oiu't beeu nior'n two minutes since I declared a general strike." A Jeoii. "I'm glud to observe one thiug," said the official's close acquaintance. "Your elevutiou to political honors hasn't made you at all proud." "I should suy it husu't. A muu doesn't know w hat real humility is un til he has got au appointment aud had all his intimate friends tell him they don't see how on earth he came to be picked out for bo important an office." Washiugton Star. Looking Hefore Leaping. Lady "I wish you would cull at the office of Mr. Oldrich, 0'J'J Fashion avenue, contrive to have some con versation with the venerable geutlo man, aud so fur as you are uble, ex amino into his physical condition I dosiro to know how long he is likelj to live." Physician "Certuinly. Are you his wife?" Ludy "No, but I have a chuuee U hi." New York Weekly. Way He Wa. Vt-U-oiiie. "Here, Hurry, is u dime for you,' said Mr. Harper to tho little brothel of tho one he loves. "Have you evei heard Miss Bessie suy anything about me when I wasn't here?" "Oh, lots of time," replied the sweel child. "Ami what does she suy, Harry?" "She Bays Bhe's always glad to huv you come hero w hen she's fceliu' all wore aud tired." "Aud," continued tho delighted youug man, "does alio ever explain why she likes to have me come at siu-h times?" "Yes. bhe says you're so easy she cull go to sleep and still keep you guessiu'." Cloveluud Lcuder. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. An electrio brake is announced. That bacteria may live and grow in melting ioe has beeu shown by Foster. Only one person in fifteen has per fect eyes, tlfe larger portion of defec tiveness prevailing among fair-haired people. An even cubic foot of average soil was weighed and analyzed at Cornell University. It was found Hhnt the soil in one acre one foot deep weighed 2082 1 tons. ' In a recent lecture Professor Bcrgo mann, of Berlin, stated that in fifty cases of perforating tho ' ukull for epilepsy he knew of only ono perm anent enre. The difference betweeni tho tallest and shortest races iu the world is oue foot fonr and a half inches, and the average height is live (ect five aud a half iucjies. Wheat cau be grown iu the Alps at an elevation of 3000 feet, in Brazil at 5000, in tho Caucasus at 8000, in Abyssinia at 10,000, aud in Peru and Bolivia at 11,000. Two now asteroids havo been dis covered between Mars and Jupiter by M. Charlbis, of Nice, bringing tho number dipoovered by him up to eighty-six. Palisa, the Austriau as tronomer, has discovered eighty-three. The eyes of bees are made to Bee great distances. When absent from their hive they go up in the air till they see their home, and they fly to ward rt in a straint line and with great speed Tho shortest line be tween two places is sometimes called a "bee-line." Corrosive water is a common source of trouble in metal mines. Its effect on iron, curiously enough, is greater when it simply drips on the metal than wheu the iron is immersed iu it. A twelve-pound iron rail has beeu cut in two iu a few weeks by drops of water falling on it. A German chemist, Joseph Langer, has succeeded, with iufinite patience, in analyziug the poison of a bee's sting. The amount secreted by each boe is only a tenth of a milligramme, aud he required 20,000 bees to get enough to experiment with. He did not discover any bacteria, and con cluded that the action of the poison was purely chemical. The fish's belly is white and his back greon, because iu swimming about in the water the white belly is the color of the light shining through the- water, heuce protects him from his enemies below. His back being green makes him on tho other hand appear from above as part of tho green water, and is his safeguard from hawks and other enemies. Peril, of the Iluilway Mall Service. The remarkable number of fatalities among railway mail clerks iu recent wrecks calls fresh attention to the ex treme hazards taken by these jlublio servants. It is clnimod by those who have taken some pains to gather sta tistics that the death rate is greater in proportion to numbers thau actual warfare. This seems almost incredi ble, yet it is" appareut to every oue who investigates that of all the posi tions in the railway Bervioe that of the railway mail clerk is accompan ied by the greatest risk. It is gener ally supposed thut the engineer and fireman have the most hazardous posts, but they always have at least a moment's warning and are often able o save themselves by jumping. Active preparations are being made among the mail clerks to petition Con gress for better protection. Those who have tho matter iu charge are oousidering various suggestions that may take the form of recommendations. Oue reform that will probably be sked is that the mail coaches bo placed after iusteud of before the bag gage cars, the through baggage coach, which is usually unoccupied by bag gageman, while the train is iu motion, to take the place next the engine, now invariably assigned to the mail coach. It is also probable thut the Govern ment will be asked to supply its owu cars and to make them of steel, and without platforms, which facilitate the tolescopiug process and its frightful rosnlts. Kausas City Jouruul. Th. Csar. Account of Illiu.elf, It in reported from Vienna thut a curious point recently arose in con nection with the statistical congress in Moscow. In accordance with the police regulations, it was necessary for every official of tjie congress to fill up a form giving particulars of him self and family. The President wus tho Czar, and to him two of the" forms were Bent. They were returned filled up as follows: "Name, Nicholas liomauoff; ordinary occupation, Em peror of all the ltussias aud sovereign of the ltussiau territories; secondary occupation, if any, land owner und agriculturist." The second form, also iu the handwriting of the Czar, was as follows: "Name, Muriu Feodoro vitch; ordinury occupation, Empress of all the Hutisias aud sovereigu of ltussiau territories: secondary oc cupation, if any, President of all societies and associations for female progress in liussiu." Loudon Chron icle. An Uiipluagniit Kide. A certain prominent youug man of St. Augustine, Flu., hud occasion to take a short trip into the country. If o procurod a saddle horse and, by mis take, was given a pony thut is used by the boys ou their evening lump-lighting rounds. Ou the way out of the city this pony stopped at every lump post he passed, and would only uiovu forward' after his rider hud struck u match. Wheu the lump posts guve out he stopped at every tree, aud, though the journey was rather slow, the youug man finished it with the expenditure of about two dozeu boxes of matches which Uo was obliged to purchase. Paltiuioie Suu. FIELDS. Oh, the gray fields, thlThay fields, And the azure arching over, Whn tho west wind dips to kiss the lips, Of the laughing, lazy clover; Tho rythmic swish of the swinging scythe, The ewaying of brown bodies lithe, A song from the throat of a blue bird blithe And the trilling plaint of a plover Oh, tho sweet fields, tho wheat fields. And tho blue sky bending over. When the south wind oleeps, and the wild Jiawk sweeps; And the chickens Bcek tho ooverj The wide fluid glows with noon-dny heat, Tho tea porn rest 'nenth sheaves of wheat, Tho clilrr of tho crickets sound as sweet As tho liquid notes of the plover. Oh, the lorn Molds, the corn fields, Aud tho gray skv glowing over, When tho north wlud blows from the land of snows A blustering. Boreal rover; fn scattered shocks tho soro stalks tlo, Flailed by tho wimlthat hurtles by; K Unp of wings, a crane's clear cry, Aud tho echoing pipe of a' plover. Johu N. llllllard, la the Chap Book. HUMOR OF THE DAY. "They are not very thick, then?" "No; I fancy they Bee through each other." Puck. "When there isn't company," said Edith, "the baby wakes up only with his eyes, but When there's company ho wakes up with his mouth, too." ludge. New Yorker "Have you fipent much time iu investigating microbes, Miss Back Bay?" Boston Girl "Yes, indeed; I doto ou tho dear little Michaelrobos." Judge. "The Dey of Algiers is a very short man, isn't he?" "I beliovo bo." "Thon it would bo true to Bay that tjie people of Algiers are as honest as the Dey is long." Puck. Ethel "What kind of a niaa is this Mr. llushjiigton you speak of so often?" Jack "Well, ho is what we liion call a good fellow ." Ethel "Mercy! As bud as that?" Puck. Little Bob "Aw, I could walk the rorta just as wqll as the man in the circus if it wasn't for ono thing." Little Willie "What is that?" Lit tle Bob "I'd full off." Harper's Bazar. New Servant "I fouud this coin npon yonr desk, sir." Master "I am glud you are lionest. I put it thero purposely to test your honestyt" Now Servant "That's what I thought. " Standard. "Johnny, Johnny, whnt do you mean 'by hitting your little brother on the head with tho liummer?" "I couldn't help it, maw. Jlfnt cap you've got on hiiu mude him look so much like a tuck." Iudinnapolis Jour- nal. Mrs. Farmer "Don't you never do uo work?" Tired Tomkius "Well, Bny; if yer knew w'ot hard work it wnz for a collego bred man ter keep his temper w'ilst nusweriu' uugrammnt ioal females yer wouldn't ask dut." Judge. Little Arthur had beeu to church "How did you like the sermon?" asked his sister. "Pretty well," responded the yonthful critic. "Tho beginning was very good, and so was the eud, but it had too much middle. " Loudou Tit-Bit s. "I oneo knew a man whose huir changed from black .to white iu a sin gle night because he lost his fortune." "Well, I know a girl who lost hor for tune, und her hair changed from ou; burn to red in less time thau it tukes to tell it." Dotroit Journal. Mrs. Nubbons "My husband is a perfect brute." Friend "You amaze me." Mrs. Nubbous "Since the baby began teething nothing would quiet the little angel but pulling . hi pupa's beard aud, yesterday, he went and had his beard shaved off." Standard. Host "Why did you give that mau the most expousire rooms iu the house? Do you kuow if ho has the means to pny?" Porter "Of course I J(. Would that pretty young woman have married such ou ugly old fellow if he wasnt rich as Cnesus?" Flie goudo Blaetter. First Whitecup "Here's a lettet fryui tho wife of the muu wo lyuched lust night." Socoud Whitecap "You don't Buy bo!" First Whitecup "Yes: she Buys she likes our style of doiug things very much, aud usks if we'd mind dropping up some evening this week to hung a few pictures for ker." Detroit Jouruul. Boeder "Good grucfcmH, mftn' Why do you buy thut trush-y uiuguziue? There is nothing to rcAd iu it." Wheeler (iu amazement) "Trashy! Nothiug to read? Why, man alive, you must bo crazy! Thu mugaziue contains more bicycle advertu-ouiouts than any other two magazines put to gether!" Puck. The Chicugtt Times-Herald cau give a good auswer to almost uuy qucBtiou. When tho Denver Post wondered why the cartoonists ulways represent Uncle Sum with trousers much too short for him, it said: "The trousers ure long enough, but tho old mail's legs huve beeu pulled so of teu that they are uow really longer thuu they ought to be." West Union Gazette. Miss Da Fushiou (breathlessly) "Oh, mother, it won't do to wait thre weeks before huving my party. We must send out the invitations ut once, and huve -it this week." Mrs. De Fushiou "Goodness me! whut's the hurry?" Miss De Fushiou "Thut yjious Miss Do Pretty, whom Mr. Kichfellow bo much admires, base boil on her nose." Now York Weekly. The physiciun iu charge I411I decided that an uperution should be per formed. "Do you think," asked a relative, anxiously, "that the opera tion will d-J any good?" "Weil, 1 should buy it would," replied tho doo tirr, confidently. "And he'll live?" "l)h, dear, 1(0; luit at all. But it will settle a medical polut .j. bus been iu dispute for the lut filly yours." Chieugo Post. ('in a maidcu r, bu for its ' " "-.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers