7 Forest Kepn&lican - i lie? RATES OP ADVERTISING l One Squnre, one In-rh, on inertlm..! I 00 One rqnare, one lin-h, one uonth. ., B no One r-'quare. one inch, Inree months. . ft no (Ine fqiisre, one inch, one fuar 10OI 1 wo tMiifirH, one yeir 1.1UI Quarter Column, on vmr,, .......... Jli 11 Half Column, one yenr .V) (10 One Column, one yenr I'W 00 I'el advertuteinents ten cent par Una each insertion. Marnnge and deith notice gratis. All bills for Ti ariy advertisoiniiits cdlertifcl quarterly Temp-irarj advertisements mutt tie paid in advance Job work -CAh on deliver. Is published every Wedn -s lay, hy J. E. WSMtC. Office in Smearbau(jli St Co.'s BuiliHng ELM BTREET, T10NE3TA, I' A. 1'exma, - Sl.iHIL'er Your, ST LICAH Ko subscription! rwe vod for a ahortor period than teres inontti. OorrinponJen.-eollltel fro n nil parts of th country. No no:les will to tnvan 01 anonymous oo:uru 111110.111004. VOL. XXX. NO. 31. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOV. 17, 181)7. S1.00 PER ANNUM. F Repub RE V V" One hundred nnd twenty-eight min. tsters of the Presbyterian Church died Inst yonr. The average age was Bixty six years. All reports from sections of the coun try where peauuts grow indicate that the crop will be short and the quality inferior this year on account of the drought. The horses of German cavalry regi ments are to be entirely shod with paper bIiocs, recent experiments as to their durability aud lightness having proved very satisfactory. A Goruiau paper calls attention to the extraordinary fast that at Aachen alone 800 tons of steel wire are used up annually in the manufacture of ueodlos 4,50niDi10,000 in number valued at $1,51X)00. A pretty New York deaf and dumb girl has sued a deaf and dumb man . for $50,000 for breach of promise. The young man's father is a million aire The chief wituc3s is -also deaf and dumb. Love, too, is deaf, dumb and blind, but money talks.' Says the St. Louis Globe-Democrat: "Tho Treasury Department estimates 4&tit the population of the United States is increasing 2,000,000 a year. That is fast enough withont admitting groat numbers of illiterates from oouu . tries With which we have nothing in common." . The fast that tho Japanese are a live poople, if somewhat conceited over the amount of belated progress thoy have realized, is shown by the fact that the Japaneso Government now issues every day three woathor charts, which includo observations in China and the Liu-ICiu Islands. Massachusetts has expended $700, 000 fighting the gipsy-moth, and it will require 8100,000. annually for several years more to exterminate this destructive insect. If the work is successful, as it now promises to be, the money will be well iuvestod, for the gipsy-moth devours everything green that grows, and is capable of doing incalculable damage. v. -United States Consul Charles Denby, at Fckin, gives the substauco of a representation recently made by Mr. Brennan, British Consul on Trade in China. Brenuan states that the currency of China is copper much more than silver, nnd that the rela tive value of gold aud copper is an important factor in the consideration of trade probloms. It is undoubt edly true, says Brenuan, that the or dinary business of China is done iu copper cash, aud he incloses a trans lation of an imperial decree, iu which it is shown that tho prioe of copper cash has been enhanced over twenty per cent, at tho same time that pricos for ordinary articles of consumption are materially increased. The reoent loss of three lives by the drifting1 of a disabled sailboat over the falls of Niagara has led to the suggestion that a safety cable be stretched across the Niagara River at a point just above the hearr of f oat Island. The schemo seems toss a wholly humane and practicable one, but as the co-operation of tho Govern ments of tho United States aud Can ada will have to be securod to lay the m life-guard, it is probable that it will not play the part marked out for it for some time to come. But no pre caution should bo spared to protect unwary or unskillful voyagers in the Upper Niagara from the fateful ter rors of a plunge into the rapids aud the cataract. The marvelous success of the Eng lish in keeping 300,000,000 East In dians iu subjection with a handful of men is explained, believes the Sun Fraucisco Chrouicle, by the fact that the example set by the French has been consistently followed. When Fronuhmen were operating in India they speedily discovered that there was no such thing as national feeling, aud they took advantage of the discovery to hire natives to subjugate other na tives. It appears, however, that this polk' has not been bo successful iu tho hill country, where the natives are now iu opiu rebellion. But Sir Wil liam Lockhurt has becu given a free hand since the outbreak, and we are informed that as he is not to be bound by red-tape regulations he will proba bly bring the recalcitrauts to terms in a short time. Just what this mcuus it would be hard to tell, but if Sir Wil liam Lockhart follows the example of some of his predecessors iu India, who were also uurestraiued by red tape, the concluding years of the century may be marked by brutalities which the jubilee writers told us were thing of the past. I WHEN DOCTORS DISAGREE. He looked at my tongue and be shook his head Tills was Doctor Smart Ho thnmpp il on my chest and then he snld: "All, thorn II in! Your heart! You mustn't run- yon mustn't hurry! You mustn't work- you mustn't worry) Just sit down nnd ts.ke It cool; You may live for years, I ci,nnot say; But. In the mnnntlmo, make it a rule To take this medlelno twljo a duyl" He looked at my tongue Aud he shook bis was Doctor Wise "Your liver's a tolnl wreck." he sold, "You must take more exorelsel You mustn't eat sweets, You mustn't ent incuts, You must walk nud l"ti, you must also run; You mustn't sit dowu In tho dull old way; Get out witli the boys an I hnvo some tun And tnko thr.'e doses ot this a day!" A Voyage Across the World, k Uy IS. C. ERY comfortable looking poverty, I must say, Georgie," said Geoffrey Martin, looking around the little room approving ly. Certainly the dainty furniture and haugings and the blazing fire were worthy of approval. "I quite agree with you, Geoff," an swered Georgie from her low chair, where she sot with her slippered feot on the fender. "At first we found several drawbacks, but now that we have got used to making our own beds and cooking our own dinners we rather enjoy life than not. Of course there are heaps of thing that we miss, and it was pleasauter to have servants to wait upon us thau have a woman iu every morning to 'do up' the rooms; but we are too busy to have leisure to pine. I teach the young ladies of the town to play the piano, aud to speak their notivo tongno with accuracy; and Josie is daily companion to an elderly lady hours from ten to eight, aud a holiday ou Suuday. We rather like it," "But Anna would not bend her shoulders to the yoke!" "No; Auua thought poverty iu Eng land very objoetiouable. So she wrote to James that she had changed her mind about going out to bo married, aud should sail for Melbourne in the next steamer. Wo wanted hor to wait for an answer from him, but sho had a more perfect failh iu him thau we had, I suppose; any way, she is gone." "Have you heard of her arrival yet?" "Yes, and no.lfcWe have hoard that the Petrel arrived safely, but we could hardly have a letter from her till this week. It is just about three months since she sailed." "Let us hope that her letter will not bring the announcement of her mar riage to somebody else upon the voy age. It would be too bad if she broke poor old Jamie's heart, and those things do happen." "So do Buowflalies in May. No, I am not going to waste much anticipa tory sympathy over Jamie's heart. I am auxious to hear from Anna though, aud so is Josio. That young woman is late to-night, and I am dying to see her surprise when she finds you here." "She is duo, is she?" said Geoffrey, walking to the window and pulling aside the blind that he might look out on the garden path, dimly lighted by the gas lumps ou the road. "Does Bhe walk or drive? There is a cab now coming along." "Walk, of course! We cauuot afford carriages!" "The cub is coming here, neverthe less. Stops at tho gate somebody gets out; it is Josie, or Anna!" "Nonsense!" exclaimed Georgie, starting up iu such haste that her chair went oue wuy aud the lire-irons another. "Oh, Geoff", what is it? I am sosglad you are here!" "I am glad you are glad," he re turned gviiuly.' "There, you see, if it is not Anna 1 am a Dutchman." "And if it is Auua it is her heart that is broken and not Jem's," cried Georgie, rushing from the window to the front door "Oh, my poor, poor dear!" she went on as she Hung it open and caught the new coiner in her arms. "What is it all, und how came you to be bajk agaiu?" "I am bo tired, Georgie! I cannot talk," answered Anna wearily. "All my luggage is out there. " "Geoff shall see to that. Come right in, darling. You shall rest and tell us all the tale to-morrow." Best was just what the wayfarer wauted. She drank her hot cup of tea, aud took her soup iu Georgie's lutely vacant chair aud was after that only too thankfully led uway to bed. Her sister uudressed her and settled her with all the love and tenderness amougst the pillows without permit ting a word of explanation, and then rau down aguiu to Geoff and Josie. "I call this a horrid surprise!" she said. "I always did hate surprises; they are no better thau practical jokes. What do yon think of Jamie now?" "Perhaps the poor fellow is dead," suggested Geoffrey. "Not he; naught never comes to harm," said Josie spitefully. "The best I can.hope for him is that he is ruiued. " "Well, heaven be thanked that whatever has come to him we huve Anna back safe. She looks horribly ill. Geoff, you will come iu to-morrow to heur nil there is to hear about it?" For Geoff was evidently reudy to depart. "I shull be in first thing, of course. I would stop if I might, but it won't do to scandalize your pupils. If there is anything t be done you will fetch uie directlv?" Ho looked at my tongue and he shook his boad -This was Doctor Bright "I'm afraid your lungs are gone," he said, "And your kidney Isn't right. A change of scene is what you need, Your Cttso is desperate. Indeed, And bread is a thing you mustn't eat Too much stareh imt, by the way, Yon must henceforth live on only meat Ami take six doses of this a day!" Terhaps they were right, and perhaps they knew, It Isn't for me to say; Miiybnp I erred when I madly threw Their hitter stulT away; Dut I'm living yet, and I'm on my feet, And grass Isn't all that I dare to eat; And I walk and I run and I worry, too; But, to Bave my life I cannot Bee What some of the able doctors would do If there wore no fools like you and me. a. E. Klser, la Cleveland Loader. K1TTON. "I am so glad you are here!" Baid Georgie again. Poor Anna! her tale was told in few words, but those few words contained a volume of Borrow. Her outward voyage had been prosperous and ex ceedingly pleasant. She was leaving poverty behind her, and was about to meet the man to whom hor whole heart was given, and who had, as she knew, made a comfortable living for himself; she was strong and well and light hearted, aud all on board the vessel conspired to court and flatter her. She might have chosen a husband from amongst half a dozen men, but it was Juniie she wanted and Jamie to whom she was going. All through the voyage she pictured his delight when he should rush on board the Petrel to weloome her, but the Petrel arrived and there was no Jamie. Nor the next day, nor the next day; she settled herself in a hotel, wrote to him aud waited. After three days' waitiug a lady was ushered into her room a lady most distinctly of the strong-minded genus. Not a bad-looking woman, Anna thought to herself as the two stood watchfully regarding one another; not bad-looking, nor vulgar, nor quite a lady, nor just at this moment quite at her ease. "You are Miss Edgar, aren't you?" she said, after that pause of inspec tion. "It is rather awkward for its, you see. I am Mrs. Barriugton you won't take it kindly, I am afraid but Jem would not come himself, he would send me. Now what can we do to put things as right as they cau be?" So the doloy wos explained. The delighted bridegroom had not rushed to meet his bride because he was already husband to another woman. It went hard with Anna, but she was a proud woman aud compelled herself to give a cold attention to the explanations that Mrs. Barriugton forced upon her. As if, being betrayed, it mattered to her how the thing was done! A rescue from danger on the one side, a nursing turougu an illness on the other. What did it matter to the woman they had cheated? Mrs. Barrington's oilers of assistance wore haughtily declined, aud the first steamer that left Mel bourne carried Anna Edgar with it. "Did. you foresee this, Georgie, when you gave me the exaot passage money in that purse 'towards the house plenishing'?" "Don't ask home questions, dar ling," answered Georgie with kisses. "Lie still and get well as quickly as you can." For Anna had been exceedingly ill upon tho return voyage, and was still terribly weak aud shaken. The sym pathy of all the place was with her, for seeing the impossibility of keeping the disaster secret, the Edgars had de cided to speak of it openly at once, aud friendly gifts of all kinds came in to show the kindly feeliugs of the neighbors. The little house over flowed like a cornucopia with fruit aud flowers. Geoffrey hung about, ready to nurse, run errands, write letters or do any thing that could be required of him, as long as his business could spare him, aud then uuwilliugly announced that he must go. "You will say it is heartless of me to suggest that it is an ill wind that blows nobody any good," he said, squeezing Georgie's hand as they eat over tho twilight fire; "but you see Anna could not have done ine a better turn than by coming to grief in this way. All your misfortune seems to be good luck to me. If she had not come back I should have been afraid to ask you to come to me. Georgie, darling, for you would have said you could not leave Josie. I cannot oiler you anything like what you are used to or what you ought to have, but you say you do not mind being poor," "I like it, Geoff, dear," answered Georgie; "aud, besides, your poverty is weulth compared with ours." Three-and-twenty was Anna Edgar when she went out to Australia in the "Petrel." At tbree-aud-tbirty she was Anna Edgar still, and the "Petrel" was steaming towurds Euglaud with James Barriugton ou board. The little house iu Oxford Road had proved a cheery home during these ten years to two busy aud therefore happy women. Josie had tended the invalid to the close of her pilgrimage, and now aided her young daughter iu the superintendence of the household; Auua had stepped iuto the place that Georgie left vacant, and had become famous through the neighborhood as a teacher of elocution. Her romantic story, instead of covering her with contempt as she expected, had brought her hosts of sympathizers and admirers. Life had prcspered with the sisters, aud they could now afford to work leisurely if thev chose. On a day in August, Anna Edgar was taking decided holiday. Georgie ud her babes had just left after one of their frequent gleeful visits, and she was resting iu preparation for the next event. Her niusio was open on the piano, and her blotting-book on the writing-table; but her attention was wholly taken up with certain patterns of laces aud silks aud velvets that were spread before her. She was evidently choosing a dress or dresses for some important occasion, and sho fingered one pattern after another with linger ing care. Anna had always been hand some, but she was handsomer now than ten years back, and to-day, with an expression of gentle contentment upon her face, she looked particularly well. She was so entirely engrossed in tho train of thought with which the silks aud laces were associated that she did not notice the sound of foot steps coining through the garden, and started when Mary ushered into tho room "a gentleman to speak to you, Miss Anna." With a flush of surprise ou hor beautiful face, she turned to encounter her old lover James Bar- ringtou. "There is some mistake, I think. she said, drawing herself back haughtily after the first shock of astonishment had passed. "Yon cau scarcely have wished to see me. "There is no mistake," answered James. "I have come across the world for that purpose. They toll mo you are still iuiss idgar. "That is perfectly correct, but I fail to see what concern it is of yours now, sho cried with emphasis. "I have come across the world, as I said, to seek you out, and ask if you have forgiven me for what happened ten years ago, Anna? This is my only child," he said, pointing to a little girl in a mourning frock, who hung shyly behind him. Anna looked enrionsly at the child of the woman who bad supplanted her, She bore a softened resemblance to her mother, but in her face was a strange expression indicative of Anna knew not what. "Indeed," said Anna, and paused inquiringly. "I have brought her with me," re sumed James; "sue is all I have. It is almost two years since she lost her mother." "And you probably wish her to be educated iu England. I am sorry to hear of your loss; it is a great chargo to be left with so youug a child to train." Anua was aware that she spoke stiffily and indifferently, but she was still iu the dark as to the meaning of the pres ent interview, aud she resented what she looked upon as an unwarrantable intrusion. "I brought her with me because I cguld not do without the only creature I Save belonging to me, and, bcsides.I wairt to show her to an English dootor. Anna,you do know what my loneliness is, and how ill I cau bear to be alone. I never oould bear to be by myself. It was that that brought about what you must look on as my treachery toward you. You know how I urged you to come out to mo, and how you would still wait till I could come to fetch you. It was too lonely, and then I met with Jessie. She told you all about it; she was good to me aud I married her. Thon you came out, two months too late, and it broke my h.art, Anna, for it was you always that I loved." "Hush!" exclaimed Anna, aghast, as he euded with an appeal in his voice. "This is scarcoly fit talk be fore your wife's daughter." "Do you not know," he said bitter ly, "tho child is stono doaf? The same calamity that deprived me of her mother took away her hoaring. We may say what we choose before her; she only knows what we say on our fingers." "Poor little soul!" said Anna, sud denly relenting toward the mute little figure, aud taking her iuto her friond ly arms. She understood now the strange expression that she had noticed on the child's face. "It is a heavy trial to her aud to me, and Bhe has no mother. Anna, I have come to see if you can be won to forgive me the past aud take tho place now that you have always had in my heart. I am a rich man now iu every thing but happiness; I cau give you all the luxuries you were born to, aud if you do not choose to go to Australia I will sell my property there and pur chase an estute where you please iu Euglaud." Auua had released the child, and now stood proudly confronting its futher. "I am exceedingly glad to hear of your prosperity; it must surpuss even your expectations, and I trust that yon may long enjoy it. But, as I said ut the beginning, you have made a mistake; your presence here is un called for." "I know," said Jamos earnestly, "that vou must even yot feel sore and angry whou you think of my treat ment of yon; but you do not realize how much I too have undergone. Jennie was a good woman, a good wife, but sue was not the woman that I loved." "More shame for you," interrupted Anna. James put up his hand imploringly. "You speak truly; but it was you you ulways that 1 carried iu my heart, aud it is you that I have come buck to bcek. Anna, if you ure still angry with me, will you not huve compassiou ou the child? Tliiuk of hor helpless ness, for what am I as a guardiuu to that little thing? Women are always tender-hearted, aud the child bus never offended you. ihiuk of her love aud my ueed, aud of now 1 have loved you always." "Aud betrayed me, said Anna; but he went on unheeding her. "And how I love you still, mil you not yield? You are still Anna Ldgar. "I am." said she, blushing iu spite of herself; "but here is Dr. Wilber force. I had better refer you to him, for this day mouth I shall be Mrs. Wilberforco!" "Anna, Anna! am I too late? Have I come across tho world iu search of you iu vain?" "Yon forget, perhaps," she an swered coldly, "that there was a time when you led mo across the world in search of you in vain. I loved you once, but I am only a woman, and if I were weak enough to love you still I should scarcely have courage to risk a second betrayal." She stood before him, proud and prosperous and happy, aud if she had desired revenge for her past wrongs she had it in that hour. New Y'ork Ledger. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL, Icebergs sometimes last '200 years before they entirely melt away. Frogs subsist on insects, and are thomselves devoured by a variety of other animals. It is said that if tho earth's atmos- phere were suddenly increased in thickuess to 70!) miles tho sun could not penetrate it and the earth would soon be wrapped in ice. A lamp-wick which does not require trimming has been invented. It is a thick coil of clay, perforated with minute boles, through which tho ou ascends by capillary attraction. The overhead trolley now is iu Cairo, Egypt. Tho lino was opened a few weeks ago. The cars are divided into throe compartments for uatives, for Europeans and for women of the harem, A ton of Atlantic water, when evap orated, yields eighty-one pounds of salt: a ton of l'acillo water seventy nine pouuds; the water of the Dead Sea more thau twice as much 187 pouuds to the ton. A remarkable cave hns been found near Decorah, Iowa. In winter its temperature is about sixty degrees, while in summer it is usually below zoro, tho frozou moisture depending from the roof in tho form of icicles. For tho purpose of removing horses from burning buildiugs a now lire mask has boen placed ou tho market, consisting of a hood to cover tho eyos aud nostrils to prevent tho horBe from seeiug tho fire or smelling the Binoue. Iu a recent test of floor material, tho most durablo turned out to bo a tile made of rubber. An English earthen tile comes next. Vermont marble, flagstone, granolith, marble mosaic, yellow piue, oak, Oregon piue and teak came in the order named. There are no ilsh in Crater Lake, Oregon, the deepest fresh water hike iu the world, aud tho Uoverumout has decided to stock it with trout. The natives used to say that the lake was bottomless, but soundings have shown its greatest depth to bo 2000 feet. One of the first instruments to be shipped to the Klondike is Professor Ehuu Thompson s X-ray jewel tos ter, which will bo used by minors to test their ores. Many people have a lingering hope that iu the new gold region a diamond mine may ooine to licht, aud in case of such a glittering find the assayers would be greatly helped by the classifying which the jewel tester would render possible, and even non-professionals could apply tho test. This instrument can be applied to any ore or mineral find. Two lilrdi With On. Stone. It is told of Jesse James aud his gang that they once stopped at the house of a poor widow and ordered dinner while ou a raiding tour in a certaiu looality. After tho widow had hustled around and gotteu up the best dinner possible, she told Jesse sho was in great trouble, that the mortgage ou her farm was duo that very day, and the man would bo there in a few hours to turn her out if the money was not forthcoming. The baudit asked how much it was aud handed her the 81800. The man came, rooeived the money and released tho mortgage, but had not gone fur ou his return trip when he was told to "throw up his hands." Jesse not -only took the 1800, but ull tho money uud valuables ho had on his person, aud rodo away with a contented and happy smile ou his face. Tulare (Cul.) Times. A Peculiar 1'ot'un. There is a pecan tree on tho planta tion of the Widow James, five miles from Waycross, that is a peculur freak. It was twice struck by lightuiug last year, but is still bearing some of tho finest pecaus. the last time tho tree was struck a bolt of lightning rau down the corner of a smoke houso near by aud smashed up various things inside of the building, leaving an old setting hen undisturbed iu one cor ner, says tho Louisville (Ky.) Post. Ittheu struck the clothes who and followed il across the yard to the cor ner of the fowl house, where it came ueur killing the entire lot. The clothes line was molted from end to end. The tree, not tj bo outdone, took ou new life uud is bearing some very fine pecaus this year. Home That Wears Hpet's. Among tho wonders of Surrey, Eng- laud, which is a suburb of Londou town, is a horse thut wears (spectacles. He weurs them for u purpose, too, lor his eyesight is so dim that he can't see a yard ill front of his nose unless he has ou his "specs." cancer sight, a horse with hose glasses! But Tily that's what they christened him takes his atllictiou aud his spectacles as u very mutter of fact thing, and goes about his daily duties calmly. Ho has suffered from myopia for two years. eteiuiury surgeons recom mended some kind of glasses, loby got them uud weurs them. He owns the unique distinction of beiug the only four-footed uniuiul iu tho world equipped with spectacles. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. A T.lttle Ollakeress Splry Tim t'nlnt or View The Nhork Works Until Wars II mil of tho nuns Cull tire's ontt.il tor I-' xpert Testimony, Ktr., Kle. A little Quakeress, so quaint, So morlest and so sweet, Bhe looked a veritn'de st, While walking down th'1 st. Indianapolis Join n il. The I'nliit f View. Cholly Chaplcigh "Oh. I'm aw fully glad you're not a man!" Penelope "And I'm just us sorry you're not." Culture' Condjulor. "What an air of well-bred repose young Newrich has." "Yes, lint ho was naturally lazy t begiu with." Chicago Record. Worka Until Yny. She "If it wasn't for tho old bach elors there would bo no flirts." He "If it wasn't for tho flirts thoro would bo no old bachelors." Chicago News. Ifend of the Cllts. Teacher "Willio, can you tell mo wlmt a kleptomaniac in?" Willie "Yessuin; ono of thmu things y' look through." Roxbury Gazette. Hpley. "Any spicy features in the now play?" "Well," the lady ouswered, "John had his mouth full of cloves." Kuu sas City Journal. Klpert Testimony. Tho Attorney "You say yon could not believo this porson ou oath?" The Witness "No, sir; Oi never heard the lady swear iu me loife, Bir." The Yellow Book. The Mhock. Miss Boston "How rough this sport of football is! What shocks of irresistible bodies!" Daisy Yorko "Humph I What shocks of irresistible hair!" Ail Inconsistent Woman. "Well, for a man-hater I think you're just too inconsistent for any thing." "Why, what do you moan?" "Well, every time you laugh you say 'He-he!'" Woea t'oiiipju'cd. Perry Puttie "Well, what luck?" Wayworn AVatson "Worse in tho world. Ho gininio a meal ticket." "Oh, it might o' bo:Mi worse I struck a guy yesterday that gimme a order ou a buth houso." Cincinnati Enquirer. Suine ICxeUHfl. Blinks "Tho paper says the Czar is a very illiterate num." Wiuks "Not up iu tho classics, ch?" Blinks "Worse. They say his let ters are full of errors in orthography." Winks "But, my dear sir, just tliiuk ! Hehas to spell iu Russiau." Now York Weekly. More Jloceit. Mrs. Gaddington "1 don't like her at all, dear. Sho is a deceitful wom an. The other day sho tried to get mo to say something against you." Mrs. Bubblingtoii "Sho did? How?" Mrs. Gaddington "Why, sheusked mo to tell her confidentially whut I really thought of you." Puck. An Apology. Kelly "Phwat did yen hit Kerrigan fer?" Murphy "He Bod that phwut Oi didn't know wud fill a book." Kelly "An' didn't yoz make him apolygoize?" Murphy "Oi did. Oi made him con ties roight befoor all th' crowd thot Iihwat Oi didn't know wud fill siverul aibraries." Judge. HkkIiiR Him Oil. Miss Brisk "I do not think it ap propriate thut Cupid should ulways bo pictured us currying a bow and ar row." Young Pokulong "Why er cr it seems to me to er be quite fit ting." Miss Brisk "No; he should bo armed with a popgun." Puck. AKSruvntloll Iti'low KlHlra. Mrs. Greene "Really, I tbiflk that girls iu tinniest io service have a pretty comfortable time of it. " Oue of Them "But wo have our trials, mum. Just as like us not, when we huve got a bonnet or a gown that is particularly becoming, first thing we know our mistress comes out with something exuetly like it." Bostou Transcript. licl'lsloll Kcael-Viul. "You framed this act of Congress, I believe?" said a'l eminent lawyer to a member of tho limine of Representa tives. "I did." "Then would you mind telling me what it mcuus?" "I wouldn't mind in tho least if I only knew, but tho fact is the courts huve not got through interpreting it yet." Harper's Buzur. Ouit'k C'oiivi-l'hlon. Small Boy "Whut'll 1 do with this money bunk?" Muuia "Put it uwuy, of course. It has a dollur iu it that your aunt 'iive you, und some change your pa uud I put in. "Not now. Inoie i.sn t any money iu it now. I spout it. " "Spent it? Whut did vou do that for?" "Why, tho M inister preached so hurd against lidurdin' up richcK, that got convei te. 1 aud spent whut X hud. -New York Weekly FORECAST. Take liai'k, take hm k the harsh word now) Consider it unspoken; llre'ik, Itrcnk, though late, the angry vow Tlint better fur were broken. The stream of death will bear away The object of thy passion; Oh. then obliterate to-duy The thought of his trtinsirrosslon. Forget the little III, revenled As tlintitfti by hnte's luteiitlon; Il'MiiemleT nil tho ?ood. concealed As though by love's Invention. The hour may come when thou wilt stand Cnsheltereil, nnd unslirlven; Forgiveness' price Is thy hand. To-day let It he given. With lint red In the heart nt last llcthink tlieeof his terror Whose nlienuted guze were cast On love's eternal mlrp r. Thou might's! endure the sight of woo The scofllng-tlie derision But where ttnm dost expect to go How eouldst thou bear the vision? tdw. N. l'omeroy, Iu Youth's Companion. HUMOROF THE DAY. Hewitt "I'm working teu hours now." Jewitt "How many can you work in thnt time?" Truth. What a scandal it would cause if an undertaker gave way to cheerful uess, and whistled ut his work! Atchison Globe. Sho "Who was it that said that a woman's best friend was her dress maker?" He "Probably the dress maker." Tit-Bils. Too frequently matrimony begins by tho man handling a ringtothe woman, aud ends by tho woma.i wringing her own bands. Boston Trauscript. "Louiso, two-thirdsof every healthy infant's life should be spout iu sleep." "Well, don't tell mo about it; go talk to baby." Loudon Household Words. "Tt was brutal iu Nero to fiddle while ltiinio was burning." "I don't know about that; sujiposo he had played on accordion." Chicago Rec ord. "That horse has n first-class pedi greo," observed his friend. "Yes," said tho man who was not getting a rim for his money; "but he's going to bo tho lust of his race." Puck. Pair Visitor "I suppose, Mr. Pal ette, that truo art is very diillcult to understand?" Mr. Palette "About as diillcult to understand, madam, as it is to sell." Detroit Free Pross. "Was there any frost last night?" "I tliiuk not. Why do you ask?" "I merely wondered whether next year's peach crop hud been destroyed al ready." Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. "Have yon caught that murderer yet?" "No," replied tho detective; "wo haven't caught him. But we've got him so scared ho doesn't daro show himself when we're around." Wash ington Star. Mrs. Oableton "I understand that your husband cannot meet his cred itors." Mrs. Pale "On the contrary, he Bays he can't help meeting them. That is the rcusou he goes out so sel dom." Tit-Bits. Lady (engaging servant) "I onght to tell you that we are all strict tee totallers here. I suppose you wou't mind that?" Mary June "Oh, no, mum! I've been in u reformed drunk ard's family before!" Punch. Mrs. Bridewell "I'm glud I wasu't born in Franco. Just thiuk of having your husband selected for you by somebody else!" Mrs. Oldham "I know; but there's the consolation of having somebody to blame it on to." Judgo. "I guess I ain't so course," said the patient animal. "Oh, I don't know," retorted Balaam. "You could not make a mail of yourself if you talked for a decade, aud I can make an ass of myself iu five minutes." Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Mr. Fogg "I saw Glisten to-day. Ho spoke about you. Ho declared that you were ono of the handsomest women ho over saw." Mrs. Fogg "The old fool." Mr. Fogg "Yes; that's what I thought." Mrs. Fogg "That's right; insult mo; it's justlike you." Boston Transcript. Twinkling or Hut Slurs. A discovery of much interest to as tronomers has been made by Dr. L. L. J. See, who is in charge of Lowell Observatory ut 1'lagstnll', Arizona. Tho cuuse of tho twinkling of the stars bus ulways been a mystery, none of the theories advaueod having stood the tost of thorough investigation. Dr. Seo - has found the cuuse to be the presence in tho ui'.unKphcro of innu merable little air currents or waves, which dart through tho uiruudcuiiso a breul; in tho light from the star. The result is thut to a beholder ou the earth the star has the familiar sppeur uuce of twinkling. These little uir currents can be distinguished through the tweuty-four-inch telescope very plainly ou nights when this twinkling is observed most by removing tho eye piece of the instrument. This dis covery has been culled to the attention of the Royal Astronomical Society of London. A Ileum rkiililv lltig. An English Tory army otlieer who died lutely left directions that his body should bo cieiuuted and the ushes buried iu a garden by the side of his favorite dog. The dog was a Scotch collie that had been talight to bark aud growl whenever Mr. Glad stone's name was mentioned. After it died its master used to decorate the grave with primroses on Lord llcucons field's birthday. Washington Star. Twins t'il.lil IK1.I I'.Ullulay. At ltidgeville, lud., recently John and Richard Mcliritf, the oldest twins iu tho I'uited States probuhly iu the world celebrated their ninety-third birthday. They ure thd sous of Johu and Nellie Mi-Grin", uud were born iu what is now Darke County, Ohio, Au gust 31. ISO!. ludiauunolis Journal. t
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers