he Forest Republican I published every Wednoa lay, by J. E. WENK. Office in Smearbangh ft Co.'i BuilClng ELM STREET, TIONE8TA, PA. Term. BI.OO Per Year, No subscription received for a thorter period than throo months. Correspondence Bollcito 1 from all parti of lha country. No not lot will bs taken of RATES OF ADVERTISING! One Fqusre, one Inch, one insertion..! 1 (X) One Sjimr one inoh, one month. . 8 One Square, one inoh, three months. . R X One Square, one inch, one year 10 OU Two Squires, one yeir l-oo Qunrter Column, one year., , S1! 01) Half Column, one yeer One Column, one year PXI 00 Ieeel advertisement ten cents pr line eaoh insertion. Marriages n 1 deith notices gratl. All hills for yrariy advertisement collected qunrtorly Temporary advertisements muse be paid in advance. Job work oAsh on delivery. For REPUBLICAN VOL. XXIX. NO. 35. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 16, 1890. S1.00 PER ANNUM. anonymous oooiniunloailoiu. '' ' '"" Eloctrioity is doing wonderful work. We have tho trolley palling million, nnd here they're commencing to draw jetrmsi faces with the telograph. A Japanese journal says the nee of English is gaining over all European languages in Jnpan, that German comes next in popularity, and that French is falling behind. The per capita cost of living in New Ron tu V a' os is the highest in the world, being nearly 8200 per head per nnnntn. In the United States it is nbont 8170, in Canadn $120 and in the United Kingdom about &1G0. Swon Iledin, tho Swedish traveler, laughs at the idea that China could ever be persuaded to attack Europe or America. Tho Chinese are convinced that tho roldior's calling is low and brutal, and do not care to be con qucrors. A medical pnper prints ttatistict showing that in eight of our largest Southern citios the proportion ol deaths from consumption among the colored race, as compared with tho total mortality, is more than fifty per cent, greater than that of the whito population. Acoording to the Naval Annual, of the 233,000 seamen in the British mTrchant marine only 55,000 are of British descent, the others being Scandinavians, Germans, Dntch, Rus sians and Orientals. Captains say the cause of this state of affairs is that tho British sailor always has a grievance. The dictum of Malthas, that "pop ulation when unchecked goes on dould ing iUolf every twenty-five years," bar received soiuo support from recent in vestigations as to the increase of the French population in Canada, statis tics of which go as far baok as 1705. It has been found that the race has - doublod itself tvery twenty-seven years. Potatoes teem to be low everywhere. In a place in Brittany, Franoe, the farmers tnude an attempt at forming a combine, by which the price of pota toes should bo hold at seventy cents for a snok of 110 pounds. Some Eng lish farmers oamo in who offered to coll at fifty cents per sack. The Frenchmen ret upon them and beat them until they promised not to take less than the fixed price. Some English Journals once cited the fact, in a humorous way, that President Kruger, of tho Transvaal, was a student of American history and an admirer of American institutions. Now this may be taken seriously, for the volksraad has just passed a bill whose draft is almost indentioal with that of our old "alion and sedition" laws. President Krngot may, with the oonsont of the Exeontive Connoil, order any suspicions stranger to leave the territory of the republic In the Federated Clubs of Illinois the women are working earnestly to improve the public sohools of the State, With this aim, tht-y take up different phases of school work, in the first plaoe visiting the schools not ascritios but as learners, so as to oo-operate with school teachers in seenring im provemeuts that are needed. Certain member study the Lygienio Condi lions of the schools, others make it their duty to watch all school legisla tion and to learn something of the valne of the best new methods of edu cation. "Uniform gamo laws," asserts the American Agriculturist, "are desirable in the various States. Muoh can be said in favor in having the close period for shooting from January 1 to Sep lumber 1 in all States north of the fortieth parallel, south of that Febru ary 1 to September 1, the close time for game fish to be October 1 to June I, except that the trouts may bo caught in May and June. But the idea of having these laws enforced by 'polioe surveillanoe' of fish and game associations is too thin. These gentry act as though forest and stream were their property. They are blind to farmers' rights. lingo Nenmann, a Napoleon of finance who had met hia.Waterloo, is now in the insane asylum. He had a genius for business such as is seldom found in conventional Germany. He built and owned a magnittoent house, although he never had paid a pfennig on it. Ho started an enormous be cycle factory entirely on wind aud credit. He lived like a multi-millionaire. Hii favorite carriage was lighted by electricity and each horse had an incandescent lamp fubteued ir front. Under the seat of the carriage was a fine uiuuio box of peculiar design which played on the owner setting in. His creditors number more than 1000, u Rbteie Ilia uu. CARE'3 SLAVfc". It was tho budding Mny-timi. The white boughs overhead ; "Oh, (Jive to me Rome plny-tlmo, Good Master Care," I said. I Jaw Ms head b"(jin to shako "Not now, Just wait and see I'll Klvoto you a holiday . When planting's done," said he. It was the (rrowioir summer; How cool the woodland's shade? A'Jtaln an enger comer, "Oh, Rive to-day!" I prayed. Old Master Care his forehead knit: "The grnss Is rlpn to mow; Work on till haying-time Is iftst, And then I'll let you go," It wns the glnd September; Tho maple leaves wore red; "Oh, Master Care! Jtemembcr, You promised me," I said. "And you will find," ho answered me, "I'll keep my promise truo, And you may sport whoa harvost's done, With nothing olso to do." Now wlutor winds are blowing, (How weak I feol and old!) And, by tho hearth bright glowlup, I shiver with the cold. And Care si's down beside me, And counts up, one by one, The task that I have done amies, Or I have left undouo; While I, low muttering to myself, Wish I had laughed and sung, An 1 had my share of honest Jjy When I was strong and young. Mnnon Doulas, la Harper's Bazar, THE MIDNKillT WATCH. T was during the time of my con neotion with the Blankborongb police force that tho incident re lated in the fol lowing lines oo- currod. Although there Is nothing startling in the do tails, and tho uuraveling of the mys tery with which they deal required no great amount of sagsoity on my part, still I am inclined to think that there is sufficient interest about the affair to warrant making it pnblio. I waB encased with the superintend ent one morning on some routine busi ness when a note was handed in from Mr. Bridgnorth, a well-known solicitor praetioing in the town. The superin tendent rend tne missive ana men turced to mo. "It is ease of pilfering, Sampson, he said, "ond the thief, of course, can not be discovered. There is nothing requiring your sorvice this morning aro and see what you can do in the matter. 1 put on my hat and went as direct ed. Mr. Bridgnorth s place was well known to me, ond I was soon the oo cupant of a seat in the privato room at his office. "I have been a good deal concerned of lftto," said the solioitor, turning to (ho business at once, "about the ab straction of certain sums of money from my cash-box in my desk, and as 1 fear that I am being robbed by some one in the office, and omnot put my hand on tho actual offender, I am oompellcd to soek the aid of the po lice." "Quite so, sir," I said, "and it will be both the duty and the pleasure of the foroe, and of myself, to give you every possible assistance iu the mat ter, llow ljng havo the pilferings been going on?" I asked. "About a week or ten days," was the reply ; "and the robberies always take plaoe l night, after the office is Closed." "How do you know that?" "Because I count the cash in my desk every evening before locking up, when everybody has left, and ogam the next morning, before any one arrives," said Mr. Bridgnorth. "What are the amounts you have missed?" "They have varied. One night five nounds were taken, another seven, a third three, ond so ou. Altogether I have been robbed of nfty-nve sover eigns, and I don't know where it is going to end. "Have you any suspicion as to whom the thief may be?" "None whatever unless " Mr. Bridgnorth hesitated. "Go on, sir," I said. "Give ex pression to your thoughts, they may furnish a clue." "1 was gorug to say," continued the solioitor, "with some apparent roluct auce, "unless it bo Hartley: but I oannot believe him guilty of suoh a thing," he a ided. "Who is Hartley?" I asked. "My oonUdoutial clerk," replied Mr. Bridgnorth. "He hoe been with mo ever since ho was a boy, and bis oharaoter has always been above sus picion." "Then why should his name ocour to yon in connection with thess thefts?" I queried. "Well, it is like this," said the so licitor. "Hartley and I are the only persons who sleep on the premises, and as there are no signs of burglari ous entry, and the thefts always take place in the night, I am in spite of myself driven to a certain oonclu Biou." "The natural one, in the circum stances," I ventured. "But toll me, yon keep several clerks in addition t J Hartley ?" "Yes; four othors." "At what time do they leave?" "Six o'clock." 'When do you lock up?" ' "About half-pabt six or seven." "You lock your desk aud tho office door?" "Yes." "Does anyone besido yourself pos aess keyset either?" "Hartley does, of both." "Aud you uy he bleeps on tho premises V" "Yen." "So one eke? "Mvf-elf." r.nt. mn Aii not. liv here. Mr. Bridanorth?" Onilo so. Mv residence is on the my outskirts of the town, but for several nights I havo been sleeping at the of' dee." In order to catch the thief? I queried. "Indcod, that was not my moiive ai all." said the lawyer, qnickly. "And, as a matter of fact, the robberies nave onlvocoured since my sojourn in the place ; tuey never once napponeu ue fore." Vorv likelv. But, assuming that Hartley is tho thief, oan you suggest a motive for las pilfenngsr l asked "None whatever, whs the reply. "What kind of a life does he lead? Steady? "Nobody more so. "Doepn't bet or Ramble?" "Neither, to my knowledge. IIo is engagid to a very respectable girl, and I know, as a faet, that he shortly con templates houBckecpioar." "Ah I there is a motive for pilfer log!" I said, with a shrug of the shoulders. "How bo?" asked tho solioitor, "Why, ft houso requires furniture, and furniture oosts money, l said. "Then you thiuk that Hartley is helping himself to my cash in order to nil li 1 1 1 'It looks remarkably nao it. i re- n.,f rv sl.nl nrnbnbl v nnn. ni -a i,a nnt nharcnil him with the thefts?" "No, for of his truilt, I canr-ot persuade mysolf "And he hn no knowledge of the objeot of my vi it?" "None, bo far as I am aware." "Very well, let him keep in tho dark for tho present. Meanwhile, can you tell me your objeot for sleeping on thoso promises for tho last few niebts?" "Well." said Mr. Bridgnorth, slowlv: "it is this. For somo little time I have found myself out of sorts There is nothing really the matter with me, that I know c but I have been spending a lot of restless nights, either getting no sleep at all, or only sufficient to do me little good. Under tl e impression that a change of opart ments is sometimes a remedy for in somnia, I decided, as I am a bachelor and have only myself to please, that for a night or two I would sleep here, where there ia plenty of room and ample accommodation. "I see." "Well," went on the solicitor, "the ohange answered admirably. From the very urst nigut 1 slept soundly, save for some persistent dreaming, which nightly haunts me and leaves me somewhat unrefreahed in the morniug. The old woman who comes in to do for Hartley finds it little cx tra work to prepare a dormitory for me, bo I havo remained for the pres ent. That is the explanation." "Thank you, sir. Wo will now try and run this thief to earth. What I propose is very simple. Find me a hiding-place here to-night a screen or a cupboard will do, for I am used to cramped quarters and 1 will Bee what is to be Been. Lock your desk and door as usual, but provide- me with a koy of the latter for use ii needful." Mr. Bridgnorth agreed, and shortly after I took my departure. As 1 uassed through tho outer room I got a iook ot tho clerks, aud iu particular to Hartley, which I was enabled to do without suspicion. Judging iront ap pearanccs, the fellow looked anything but a thief, naving a frank:, open countenanoe, and lacking altogether the Bhiftiuess of vision characteristic of olraost every roguo. Aware, how ever, that there is nothing more do oentive than externals, I went away, little doubting that Hartley was my man. Late that evening I presented myself at Mr. Bridgnorth s door, and was re ceived by the gcutlemau in person The office was olosed, the clerks had all cone home, and Hartley was out, presumably love making. Mr. Bridg north found little dillloulty in seour insr me a retreat behind a cabinet which stood in one cornorof the office. and here I cneoouced myself with as much comfort as tho oironmstances permitted. At half -past ten the solioitor retired looking both his desk and the oilioo door before going upstairs, aud pro viding me with a duplicate key of the latter, as I had desired. Hartley would be home, ho informod me, about eleven o'clock, and would doubtless go straight to his room The lawyer's estimato proved cor rect, for almost exaetly on tho stroke of the hour, a key turned in tho look of the outer door and the confidential clerk entered. He had no oooasion to come into the office in order to reaoh his apartment, but ou his way past it he paused a moment aud tried the handle of tha door, and, finding it fastened, went ou bU way. A minute later I heard tho closing of his chaui ber door and my watch began. The time passed Mowly away Twelve o'clock struck, then one, then tno, and I had begun to thiuk that my vigil would be in vain, when, in the btillness of the night, I heard o door softly opened (.bove, aud a cautious looUtep slowly descended the stairs. It paused at the foot of them, olose to the door of the room iu which 1 lay hid, aud I next heard the jinghug of o bunch of keys, as if the possessor of them was selecting the right one to tit tho lock. A moment later the portul opened ond the pilferer entered. Tho plaoe was in darkness, and I had to strain my eyes to watch his movement. The lantern I had with mo I did not desiro tj use until the right moment, for it was my hope to cupture the thief iu the very not of his larceny. I La i not long to wait. Wrapped iu a long gown, aud without shoes on his feet, the pilferer glided steadily to the desk, aud fitted a key ito tho lock, lilted tlio lid. lie tnon opened the cash box ond toon out some ol too coins, Now was my time. dipping from niuing piace, x lurneu on iue iu tern and confronted the culprit. As I did so, I gave a start ot surprise, for tho man I encountered was Mr. Bridg north himself, and I could tell by his olosed eyes that ho was fast asleep, and, of course, quite unaware what he wai doing. Seeing that the light from my lan tern bothered him somewhat (for he passed his hand several times dreamily across his face), I replaced tho shade, and the somnambulist at once closed and fastened tho desk, and then walked out of the ofTlce, lock.ing the door be hind him. Noiselessly 1 reopened it and followed him. He retraced his steps up the stairs, and, going to a cupboard on the land ing, stooued down, rummaging a seo- ond or two among samo old rubbish ol the bottom, and seeming to deposit his coinB there. He then entered n chambered joining. Poeringcautiously into this, I saw tho sleeper divest Him self of his gown, and get unconsciously into the bod ho had a few minutes Do fore left. "Well, Sampson," said Mr. Erid north, when ho came down the next morning, "what is the result ol your ...... ... i " " "i'V" "And 18 it IS It Harney I 1U quired tho solicitor, anxiously. "No. ia not .1Iar.,ey" I.6ftitl' "Thank God for thatl" cjaoulated the lawyer, fervently, as if the state ment of the fact relieved him. "But then," he asked, with some surprise, "who is the culprit? Beforo I toll you that," I roplied, kindly seo how much you hove been robbed of during the night." He went to his desk, counted over the coins and said : , "Four pounds I" "That makes in all ?" I queried. "Fifty-nine I" "Come with me Mr. Bridgnorth," I said. "I should not bo surprised if I can put you in possession of your money 1 With a puzzled air the lawyer fol lowed me up tho stairs to the cupboard I have mentioned, the door of which I opened. A pained expression came over the mau n face as no watcueu me. "How strange 1" he murmured, halt to himself, half to me. "I hove been dreaming every night of the reoess in connection with these pilferings, nnd the things inside it oil seem familiar to me, though I have never once seen them before." "Stoop down, sir, and feel in that corner, I said. He did 08 I bade, and drew ont sov ereign after soverign. "Count them," 1 said, when be had got all that he oould find. "i if ty-nine 1 be exclaimed, going over the pieces one by ono. "lueei' aot amount of my losses I" "Just so, I said ; "and now, if you will come back to the office, I will tell you who is tho thief, before Hartley comes down." We returned to his room, and there I informed h in, to his intense aston ishment, of whr.t I had witnessed. "If you will pardon the liberty, sir," I said, at the oonolusion of the narra tion, "I should advise you to see a doctor. You are evidently Buffering from some mental affection, which, if neglected, may develop into a disease, tho effect of whioh you cannot fore see." The lawyer acted ou my suggestion, and called in a specialist, who ordered htm a prolonged rest. A trying and complicated case in whioh he bad been recently engaged had apparently proved too muoh for him, and brought on this peculiar form ot brain trouble. When lust I heard of him he had re' turned Beemiugly quite 'restored ; and Hartley, his confidential clerk, mar ried to a charming wife, was abont to be taken into partnership with him. Human I'onl. An English authority informs ns that an audience of '20 JO people, lis tening for two honrs to a concert, ore not only cultivating ond indulging their musical taste, but ore engaged in tho somewhat prosaio occupation of producing no less than one hundred weight of ooal and seventeen gallons of water from the impurities and mois ture of their own breath, and that if they wore all performing themselves, instead of listening, this quantity would be nearly doubled. It is far more wholesome to drink the undiluted water of the Thames at Blackwnll than to breathe the air ot a crowded and unveutilated room, and how cleanly people can be content to do bo is only explicable on the princi ple that what the eye does not see the heart does not giieve over. New York Journal. linrlng Deep Holes, The Prussian Government has, for the purpose of examining geological ooudition of ground, drilled a number of bore holes through the ooal fields of upper Silesia. The deepest hole so far drilled, which is probably also the deepest in the world, has a total depth of bold feet. Tho work upou this boring was completed iu 3'J9 days, whioh gives an average ot a little over sixteen feet per day. ihe cost was $19,0110, or almost $3 per running foot. During the last fifteen years the Prussian Government has had about 400 borings drilled in various localities, for which altogether more than 8:5,000,003 was spent. The total length ol these holos is 4'JD,UUU feet, tho average cost being about $7 per foot. Greatest Potato Eaters. Tho greatest potato eaters are the people of Germany nnd Belgium. Their consumption ot this vegetable averages 100 pound per annum foi each person. (SCIENTIFIC AS1 IXDUSTKUl Eleotrioity runs a Dorry (Conn.) shoo mill. Compressed air is to be intro.lnoed as a motive power on the ban l ron oisco street cars, In The world's population is said to average 109 women to every 100 men, while eight-ninths of tne suaaen deaths are of male'. The tuberonlin test was applied to 139 oowa the other day at dairies sup plying the northern part of New York City. It was found that twenty-seven ot the animals had tuberoulosie. Lighthing is zigzag became, as it condenses the air in the imniodiato ad vance of its path it flies from Rido to Bide in order to pass where there is the least resistance to its progress. The longest commercial distance at whioh tho long-distinoo tolepbono is now operated is from Boston to St. Louis, a distanoe 1400 miles. This line is more than twioe as long as any European telephone lino. Spectroscope analysis has been ap plied in England to the determination of the constituent elements in alloys and their quantities. Tests can thus be applied to objects made of precious metals,Jwilhout the injury whioh would result from a chemical analysis. The distinction among animals of requiring least sleep belongs to the elephant. In spite of its capaoity for hard work tneelophant seldom, if ever, sleeps more than four or, occasionally, five hours. For two hours bofore mid night, and again for two hours after one o'clock, these mis-born mountains sleep. A new illuminating gas made from petroleum has beon produoed in Ger many, it is asserted, can bo supplied of a quality equal to the best existing photometrio standard at a oost of twenty-five oents a thousand feet. The generative plant is simple ; ono able to keep np a nun urea ngnts can do puik for 8150. A member of the Zurioh Medical Society reoently exhibited a self- registering clinical thermometer on whioh there were no degree marks. Tho instrument could be left with the patient's family to take the tempera ture in the absenoo of the physician, and the latter could then read it by means of an attachable scale of glass or metal. It the people on the star Sirius havo telescopes powerful enough to distin guish objects on thin planet, and are looking at it now, they are witnessing the d os traction of Jerusalem, which took plaoe over 1300 years ago. Of oourso the reason of this is that the light whioh the world reflects, travel ing, as it does, at the rate 180,000 miles a second, would take eighteen oenturies to reach the nearest fixod star, Suoh is the immensity of spaoe. Turkish BatlH for Horses. The ordinary horse bath with tho sprinkling hose or a drive into somo convenient pond is absolutely dis counted in tho French oapital, whero a Turkish bith establishment for ea nines and dogs has beon opened. This inoludes all the luxuries of a shampoo and other Oriental trim mings. The bath bouse is designed on the same linos as that where men and women go to bathe, but the rooms are muoli larger. Three large rooms are oonneoted with each other by wido doors. A horse to be operated upon is first taken to the back room. This is divided into fair-sized stalls. The horse is tied up to a ring in the stall, ond the room is filled with steam to 100 degrees Fahreuheit)through a stoain ooil concealed in the wall of the room, Usually a half-hour expires before the horse is in a profuse prospiration and ready to be taken out although sick horses are not allowed in the bath long as that. The horse is then led to the middle room, wnien is also divided into staus. In this room a temperaturo of 10j Fahrenheit is kept up with hot air. The flow of perspiration beguu by tho steam is increased, and another fifteen minutes are consumed befora tho horse is ready for the shower bath, which is given through an arrange ment in the ceiling, two attendants standing at eaoh side of the horse. They rub ond Bcrapo off the perspira tion and water with smooth, uexibie Borapers of hard wood. After the shower, which lasts for fifteen min- ntcs, the- animal ia given a gentle shampoo with soft brushes. A drink la administered, and tho horse is driod with warm, dry clotht. ht. Louis Ue- public Moisture nnd Vegetation. The influence of moisturo on vege tation has been found by M. Edmond Gain to vary greatly at different ceriods in tho growth of tho plants. As a rule water is urgently needed when the first leaves ure nppeuriug, then little is called for until just bo fore blossoming, when a large supply is demanded. The fiuit id best per fected in comparative dryness. Very few plants require constant moibture, and in all experiments tried the plants that were watt-red at the two critical seasons of tirt growth and the begin ning of blossoming did ai well as thoso that were constantly watered. Mois ture in the soil favored iuereuso iu tho number of fr'lit, seedsand rootu, while dryness tended to promote greater size and perfection of.ieeds and tubers. Hoarding Houses for 1'liiut.i. "Boarding houses for plants ii a continental idea whioh is declared to be very successful. When a house holder goes uway in tho uutumu ho takes oil his valuable plants and do- posits them, ut a small charge, iu tho care oi a HorUt. lie leaves home beouro in tho knowledge that tiny will receive uroner attention during hit absence, aud will bo frcah uu 1 turn ing to welcome him buck ujUji. Pittsburg Dispatch. THE MERRY SIDE OE LIFE. 6TORIE3 THAT ARTS T01.D BT THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Costume t'ndergolng Itepalrs--So Far n He Knew fussy lie lleved Him, Ktc, Ktc. When the autumn days eomo stealing, With tomntntions to a spin, The wholo family goes n-wheolln If the leisure we can win. And my boy nnd girl, their mother. And myself to set the pace, Love to banter one another To the chances of a rnoe. There has come a likeness striking We've ben told It o'er and o'"r When we've dressed ourselves forblkinp, That was nevor seen before. For the girl looks like her brother, 8o the neighbors nil agree, And our son looks like his mother And our daughter looks like me. Washington Star. CONSIPKRtNO HIS HEALTH. Cleverton "You didn't take any vacation this year, did you?" Dashaway "No. I thought I needed the rest. Life. A NECKSRAIlY lNFFJtEXL'fe. Mamma "Mrs. Brown says her little boy looks very muoh like ours." Papa "Then ours must be better looking." Puck. CNDKRnOTNO BEPATH8. Lilli (at a soiree, whispering) "What has beoomo of Aunt Lucie's habitual smile?" Erna "It is at tho dentist's." Tit Bits. 80 PAR AS HE KNEW. "Are you well?" "I believe so, yet I can't say posi tively ; I havon't had time to look up the new diseases in to-day'B paper." Judge. FUSSY. "That young Pilling is a fussy fel low." I should say he was. When ho parts his hair in the middle he counts Leader. A DISCOURAGER. Dilettante (very pressing) "I should like bo much to write for your newspaper. One side of the paper has to be blank, basn t it Editor "No; both I" i liegendo Blaetter. BELIEVED' HIM. . He (indignantly) "I beg your pardon, miss, but I always keep my word. She .(oomplacontly) I can easily believe that, for no one would take it. Washington Tines. . .ACCEPTED. Sho "My tongue fails mb, darling, when I try to express; ;niy love for yon." He "Never mind, my own. Money talks more eloquently than you could hope to do. Detroit i''roe .tress. A COMPARISON. . . "Women have more sonso about marriage than men. . "You oan t prove it. . ; "Yes. I can. A woman know when she is old, but os long ns a .man can. totter tie cons idf.rs hlmsejf marriage-. able." Chicago Kocord. BICYCLE FOLDING BED. "You don't seem to have the sort of folding bed I want," Baid the custom er, after looking through the furniture man s stook. "What sort of a folding bed are you looking for?" asked the clerk. "I want one which 1 can use as a ui- oyclo in tho daytime. ' Harpor Bazar. A NATURAL REFLECTION. Ho had boon looking over the as sortment of collars that tho olerk hud Dut out for his inspection, and had r . . ... ... , , 1 1. been informed tnai iney were an me latest styles. "I woudor," he said ot last, "where tho idea originated that we ore do icendod from giraffeo or ostriches?" Chicago 1 OHt. WASTEFUL IMS. "I wish," said Mr. Htormington Barnes, "that people, however muoh thev may be moved to indignation, would not throw eggs. "Yes," replied the leading man ; "it a very bad praotioe. Evou if the eggs are good to start with, the concussion spoils them for culinary purposes." Washington btar. HIS ONLY SYMPTOM. Esmeralda Lougoofliu (who is eu- . . ... it, .... I .1 gaged to uus no diuiiuj .uj uum liirdie McUinuis, what heavenly feel ing it is to bo engaged to tho man you love!" Birdie "I suppose so. Esmeralda "lias your heart never been iullamed with the tender passion "No, the uearu-it I over came to it was ou inflamed Bore throat." Texas Sifter. TOOK IT PHILOSOPHICALLY. (Dramatis Personie : A couplo of young lodiis, bosom friend".) ".ly dearest .Maua, l couia noi rest nutil I had come aud niudo uu effort to dispel tho gloomy thoughts which, to judge from your letter yesterday, threatened to develop into suiuidul mania. 'Tis true, AUred has jilted you. The wretch! Still, try to act like a sensible girl, and look out for another engagement." "Your udvico comes too late, uar liug." "Good gracious, Maud I Y'ou surely haven't t-tkeu poison?" "Well, u u o. The fact is, I I became engaged uyuiu yibterJuy." Tit-bits. We saw tho sunset ruddon tnthe westi IV'e saw tho whirring sw.Ulows seok the neetf We felt on earth descending pjaoe nnd rest j We whispered to each other, "It is best." . We held each other's hands ono moment's space, Eaoh took ono last look at the othor's faoe; Wo snld, "May Ood be with you in Itls grace, and from your heart our common pain ef face." We said good-by, and then then at the last Wo kuew It oould not be. We turned, and, fast Clasped In eaoh other's arms, our doubts we ca9t Far from us, by ono heart-ory overpassed. Lewis W. Smith, In Collier's Weekly. HUMOR OF THE IUY. On account of tho hard times coats aro worn longer than usual. Texas Sifter. Time is money, we are told, yet most mouoy is thrown away to kill time. Fliegendo Blaetter. "Why don't you marry that girl? Sho isa real poorl." "Ah, yes; but I don't like the mother of pearl."--Scottish Nightp. "Otto, yon havo a bad report. What does that moan?" "Yes, papa; teaolier must have Bomething against you I" Fliegendo Blaetter. Athwart those melancholy days It casts a gleam of ohuor To find you've half a ton of coal Lett over from last year. Chicago Tribune. Stikkcr "I dreamed last night that yon gave me ten dollars." Stryker "Good I that makes us square. I owed you a tenner, you know." Boston Transcript. "Don't I" sho exclaimed, fearfully; "you need it worse than I." Reginald Drooley Van Lukowarm had threat ened to give her a pieoe of his mind. Chioago News. E Lowlots "How often do yon prune your vinos?" Cityman (who hoi just moved to the suburbs) "Never; we buy all our prunes at the grooer's." Boxburv Gazette. "That hair restorer I bought of you found vory ettlcaoions," remarked Cawker to his barber. "So?" replied the knight of th razor. "I must try it myself." Judge. Correspondent "I should like to write for your paper. Yoa want the manuscript sheets blank on one Bide, dou't you?" Manoging Editor "On ' both sides, if yon please." Fliegendo Blaotter. Toint of View : "Bilkor, you ought to be ashamed to wear suoh good olothes when you owo ino so much money." "No ; you ought to be proud to lend money to a liian who wears such good olothos." Chicago llooord. Doctor "Just place this thermomo ter under your tongue, Mrs. l'eque, nnd keep your lips cloaod tightly." Mr. Henry Ferine (after a few minutes of speechless delight) "What will yon tnko for that instrument, Doo?" l'uok. An elderly gentleman is seen to tread on a piece of orougo peel ond come heavily down on tho small of his back. To him, polito stranger, rais ing his hat j "Excuso me, sir ; would would you i"ind doing that again? My friend didn't see it." Texas Sifter. . "Happened to seo your wife on a wheel yesterday. If I remembor, 1 heard you declare you would nover al low her to ride." "Yes, I know. But she hod a chance to trade off her pug dog for a wheel, and I thought I would chooso the least evil." Indianapolis Journal. "Hello," said tho smoking oar as tho damaged trolley rolled into the dopot. "What etruok you?" "Oh," replied tho trolley, "I thought I would hove a littlo fuu by running down a gang ou the street, aud hangod if they weiou't all football players !" Phila delphia North American. "Did you nttoud tha big mooting at Old City Hall lost niht?" asked one l'ittsburgor of another. "No." "Why not?" "Well, my name was not on tho list of Vice -Presidents, and I knew that if oil thobo men were there, I would not bo able to got into the boll." Pittsburg Chrouiole-Tole-graph. . l'dis'in'H Failure. Edison has accomplished fio much in the line of invention that it ia popu lurly believed ho has mode uo failures iu t Ij ut direction, but the truth is that ho has beeu at work for years upon several hard problems w hich seem to bo no utarer a solution to-day than they were when he begau. For the last seven years Uo has been trying to derive electricity directly from coal without going through the usual pro cess of heat, Htenm power oud dy uuino. There's enough Intent electrical enorgy in a pound of ooal to carry it across tho Atlantic," he said the other day, "yet we have never beeu able to utilize more than a very small fraction of it. 1 know how to gu' electricity from coal direct, but I dou't kuowyet how to get enough of it." New York Journal. (iold ill V.iv hv::ll. Professor Livorsidgc, of tho Sydney (Australia) University, ha mado chemical experiments which, ho sovs, bhow that there uro over lUO.UOil.OOO tons of gold dissolved in tho ooeau water of tho world, if the rate of oue ruiu per ton, which ho found on tho Aubtruliau eo isl, holds everywhere. S-jflul (Mil Iu Persia. In Persia, ninoiij; tUj aristocracy, a ribitor sen. la uotieo uu hour or two before colling, and gives a day's notice if tho visit is ono of great importance. He is met by servants before he roaches tho house, uud other considerations are shown him, uo-'Ji'diu to relativj rank.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers