THE FOREST EEPDBLICAH b published averj Wednesday, by J. E. WENK. Ofloe In Bmearbaugh & Co.'a Building ELM STREET, TIONESTA, ra. Terms, ... f l.oo per Year. No nhscr1ptlnng received for shorter period than three nioiitlia. Osrreapondcnce lollcltcd from all parte of the country. No notice will be taken of anonymous communications. RATE3 OF ADVERTISING. One Square, one Inch, one Insertion. I 1 00 One Pqnare, one Inch, one month 00 One Square, one Inch, three montht. 00 One Square, one Inch, one year 10 00 Two Squares, one year 15 00 Quarter Column, one year M 00 Half Column, one year M 00 One Column, one year ..............100 to I .era I advertisements ten eents per line each sertlun. Marriage and death notice! gratia. All bills for yearly advertisements eotleeted qnar terly. Temporary advertisement most be paid hi advance. Job work cash on delivery. (1 VOL. III. NO. 7. TIONESTA, PA.. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 9. 1886. $1,50 PER ANNUM. mtn Washington is building the largos' ewer in the world. It is t: be twenty foot in height for it distance- of nearly a mile, nnd is to coRt over $700,000. Ir its smallest part it will bo larger than the great sewer of Paris. The hard times sparo no industry in Taris. A reduction in charges is an nounced by an establishment which sup plies ladies and gentlemen to dinner parties to keep the table in a roar or muko a soiree go off brilliantly. The public lands of the United States which arc still undisposed of nnd open to settlement lio in nineteen States and eight Territories, principally in California, Minnesota, Nevada, Oregon, Alaska, Arizona, Dakota, Idaho, Kansas, Ne braska, Wisconsin, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming nnd Washington Ter ritories. The training master of a big eastern menagerie snys : "Next season I shall not only train a ilock of grces", but a large number of sheep nlso, and if I surcced with thiso I shall try soino other kinds of animals, for I believe with patience nnd kindness any kin 1 cf gentle animal and bird, nnd even snakes, may bo taught to perform tricks." The poetical name of Galveston is th Oleander City, but, according to tho Gal veston News, tho trees which gave tho city that title have been destroyed by the extraordinary frosts of last winter. Says the Neics: "It is not exaggerating tho case whatever in asserting that there will not ben solitary oleander in bloom this summer, and perhaps for many summers to coine." A writer in the American, AfixsioiAiry undertakes to prove that the Indians, in stead of tending toward dying out, arc as numerous in this country as they wero in the days of Christopher Columbus. Between 1809 nnd 1S81 the Cherokoes doubled in number. Among the Sioux of Dakota there are moro births than deaths, and so among many other tribes, according to his showing. The inference of this writer is that tho Indians are an important rare, as regcrds missionary effort, and that they are quite as well worth looking after as tho Africans of tho Congo region, wi!h the advantage of be ing more easily reached. From a memorandum prepared by one of the Civil Service Commissioners it ap pears that, exclusive of the army nnd navy appointment.1, 4,043 appointments are subject to continuation by the Senate. Of these there are : Under the Department of State SOD Treasury StUl Interior :ii4 Postotllee Department 2,252 Department of J ustice 201 The whole number of ivil employes under the government is about 110,000, of which 52,633 are postmasters. The total number of places subject to civil service exanination is about 15,000, of which 6, 000 are under departments of city, 6,000 in postal service and 3,000 in the customs service. Passive resistance in Ireland has some humor. At Ballysimon, near Limerick, foriy-four head of cattle were advertised to be sold for non-payment of rent. Pre ceded by two donkeys, decorated with gay ribbons, tho cattle were driven into Limerick, followed by a great crowd of jolly, boisterous people. The auctioneer, fearing the unmerciful guying of tho multitude, refused to perform his ofiice. Tho Sheriff was appealed to, and he also declined. Had a seller been found it is morally certain there would have been no buyers. After a vain attempt to get un auctioneer the sale was abandoned, and the cattle, preceded by their couriers and followed by the rolicking rabble, were driven back to the defaulting tenants. An immense land bequest was recently made by a San Fianeiscau. Tho late James Irvine left to his only son, among other property, 180,000 acres of laud in one body in Los Angeles County. This large domain Mr. Irvino bought jointly with another man in 1837, paying at the rate of thirty-seven and one-half cents per acre. In 1875 Mr. Irvine bought out his partner for $250,000. Ho has since been offered $1,000,000 cash for tho property. There is a valley of 20,000 acres in the tract worth $100 an acre, or $2,000,000 for tho valley. Some small farms have been carved from this portion and sold at this figure. On the tract is a coal mine which is yielding an unfail ing supply of coal of good quality for locomotive purposes, and is under lease to representatives of the Southern Pa cific Company. There ure between 30,000 and 40,000 sheep and several thousand cattle upon this laud. Tho actual cash value of the whole tract is, at a fair esti mate. b?9l 14,000,000. COMPENSATION. In that new world toward which our foot are sot, Khali we And aught to make our hearts for get Earth's homely joys and her bright hours of Miss? Has Heaven a spell divine enough for this? For who the pleasure of the spring shall toll, When on the leafless stalk the brown buds swell, Whon tho grass brightens and tho days grow long, And little birds break out in rippling song? O sweet the dropping eve, the blush of morn, The starlit sky, the rustling fields of corn, The soft airs blowing from the freshening seas, The sun decked shadow of the stately trees, The mellow thunder and the lulling rain, The warm, delicious, happy summer rain, When tho grass brightens and the days grow long, And little birds break out in rippling song! O beauty manifold, from morn till night, Dawn's flush, noon's blaze and sunset's tender light 1 O fair, familiar features, changes sweet Of her revolving seasons, storm and sleet And golden calm, as slow she wheels through space, From snow to roses, and how dear her face, When tlm prass brightens, when the days grow long, And little birds break out in rippling song! O happy earth ! O home so well beloved I What recompense have we, from thee re moved? One hope we have that overtops the whole, The hope of finding every vanishod soul, We love and Ions for daily, and for this Gladly we turn from thee, and all thy bliss, Even at thy loveliest, when the days are long, And littlo birds break out iu rippling song. Celia Thaxter in the Century. THE FALSE GODS, Louis Noir, in his "Memoirs of a Zou ave in Algiers," tells of a General II, who wished to givo an evening party in tho magnificent grounds of his villa near Algiers. Wishing to have it conducted in great style, he spared no expense and did everything possible to surpass in originality tho governor, who had recent ly given an entertainment, tho splendor of which was still tho subject of conver sation in Algiers. All preparations had been carefully made, and tho General be lieved nothing had been neglected, when it occurred to him suddenly that his gar den contained no statues, and that never would do. The General knew that in a certain regiment of good-for-nothing fellows wrs a sculptor. lie was then working in his leisure hours on a bust intended for n monument to a fallen captain. The fel low was not without talent, and the Gen eral, who had no idea of the time re quired to model a yrotip, doubted not that the artist could people his grounds with all the gods and goddesses of Olym pus in eight days. So he sent for him. "My young man," said he, "they say you are very skilful. Hour my wish. Next Saturday night I give an enter tainment. I wish my gardens to be adorned with, statues. I need Bacchus, Apollo nnd Venus in plaster. How much money do you require for the plaster?" "A hundred francs," replied the sol dier with perfect coolness. Tho General found that rutherdear, but gave him the money. "Well, Saturday evening, 8 o'clock!" That night it was lively in the taverns of Algiers. The artist set tho General's francs flying, as he circulated from ono drinking place to another; and so it went day after day. Tho day before the entertainment the General sent for his artist. "I hear line things," he exclaimed, and angrily twisted his moustache. "You are bumming in stead of working, You are creating scandals, getting into disorder." "General," interrupted tho soldier, "I can work only when I am tipsy. It's so with all great urtists. If I have been drinking I must make noise, and then only comes tho inspiration to work." "Truly," answered the General, "I have heard that before; however, you understand our compact, and if to-morrow all is not leady you shall bo ar rested." Tho festal night approached. Every thing was prepared, but the statues were not there. Finally the master of cere monies appeared and announced: "He is below 1" "At last! And the gods?" "Are also there. lie had them brought upon biers." "Good, are the stntues handsome?" "I have not seen them. They are cov ered with cloths. I wished to assist him but ho drove me away, and said he would set them up himself, and if any ono hindered him he would break them all to pieces." "lie is right," said the General, de lighted to know that he possessed the gods ut last. "That is not your busi ness. Ono must let artists alone." The General cast one more glance ut his toilet, then descended into the gar den. There he found the artist iu open quarrel with the master of ceremonies. Standing before thu placard, upon which was written, "Do not touch the statuo?'' the artist found the htters much too small and swore over it. "Make the letters larger," ordered the general, and proceeded with the artist to look at tho gods. The fellow led him into tho thickest, shadiest avenue. "Where the deuce have you placed your statue?" laughed the General. "This is much too far from tho light." "It should be thus," the urtist in formed him. "Plaster looks bud ly in a strong light. It requires foliage and heavy shade. You shall see a splendid Jupiter." j . .Wn11? viol!,y lea piter stood. Tho General gave an ex pression of surprise He saw n fine statuo with a wonderfully beautiful beard. "The deucel" he exclaimed; "that's a success !" "Is it not, General?" "The governor will be wild with envy ! He has not such a mnsterwork in his grounds; nnd, moreover, your Jupiter resembles a littlo the corporal of the sap pers in the Zouaves." The guests arrived. Half an hour later the festivities began. From time to time the company strolled about through tho embowered walks, and, returning, complimented the General upon his fine statuary. Especially Jupiter seemed to make a great impression, with tho bolts in his hand and his magnificent beard. The Governor, who was present, heard the praise and wished to see tho Jupiter. The General hastened to accompany him to view the masterpiece. Tho guests fol lowed them in troops. They were charmed. All being acquainted with the sapper corporal, they wondered at tho resemblance of the statue. Suddenly the governor started. "What is the matter," exclaimed the General? "Oh, nothing," said the governor, "it only seemed as if the head moved. It was a mistake." "No," exclaimed an officer. "It really is moving. There it goes again." It was true. Suddenly Jupiter drew up his face ; he appeared to make a great effort to control himself, but unsuccess fully, and then ho began to sneeze Wth all his might. The company was surprised. Tho General was astounded. Now tho god began also to speak. "General," said he, "it was decided that I should not move; neither was I to speak; but I could not possibly prevent myself from sneezing." It was really and truly the corporal, who had been plastered over and con verted into a statue. The General became furious. He tore down a large branch of a tree and rushed precipitously after Jupiter, who descend ed from his pedestal and fled through tho bushes, followed by shouts of laugh ter Irom the whole company. In the meantime tho alarm reached the ears of the other gods, who, getting thor oughly frightened, took to tlieir keels and fled in dismay. Just as the General knd given up his ckase of Jupiter tkrougk tko thicket, tho master of ceremonies and the servants rushed out screaming: "General, Ger eral, tho gods are running away !' "Let them go to the deuce," was tho answer. 'They are false gods !" But to himself he said : "Now, I wonder no longer that he didn't want to have any one touch them." The incident had bo enlivened the guests that the guilty parties were for given. It was such a festival as was nev er before celebrated in Algiers, nnd that was enough for the General. So ho par doned his artist nnd nlso the false gods. From the German, in Graphic A Man of Determination. Wnrd II. Lainon, Mr. Lincoln's Illinois partner, who was appointed by him United States Marshal for the District of Columbia, was a man of gigantic size and herculean strength. Among the many anecdotes related about him was that oi his contest with Secretary Stanton for tho jail at Washing! on. Marshal Lamon had in custody there a number of colored piisoners, legally committed, and he re fused to liberate them. One afternoon he went to dine with old Mr. Blair out at Silver Springs, and when ho returned his deputy informed him that tho military Governor had taken possession of the jail, and put there a sergeant and about a dozen men. Lnmon consulted Mr. Car lisle, his regular counsel, and ascer taining that this intrusion was utterly without warrant of law, announced his intention ot retaking the place, which ho proceeded to do at once. Alone, and with his own hands, he di-armed the entire party, took the keys from tho ser geant, locked up him and his men, stacked their arms, and then reported to Mr. Lincoln the state of a Hairs. He was sustained, as he always was, by tho Pres ident, aud indue time a ponderous opin ion From Father Bates put an end to the military siege of the jail, which Lamou meanwhile had put into a posture of d' fense, and determined to hold tit nc cost. About the same time Sir. Stani.m had made up his mind to sci.e a hon e that Lnmon had bought and was fitt'.n up for the reception of his family. "I. you do that," said Lamon. nt the conclu sion of tho interview in which the Secre tary had been very olfcnsive, "I'll k'l' you." Stanton went immediately to the President and informed him that tho Marshal had threatened to murder him. "Wull, Stanton," said Lincoln, "if he really said it, I d advise you to prepare for your end, for he's a man of his word. But I'll see him, and try if I can't get him to spare your life on my account. He's a great friend of mine, you know." But Mr. Stanton did not take the house. Pen Perky Poore. Doubling Trouble. As an evidence that troubles never come singly the following is offered: Donald McKenzio, an employe in a quarry at Limestone, (Int., was in jured by a largo stone, which, loo.-eucd by n thaw, fell from an elevation and struck him on the back of the head, cutting it badly. He fell forward with great force upon some sharp stones by which tin ugly gash was cut in his forehead. When thus prostrated the large stone rolled on his left leg, breaking it below the knee, 'i he poor fellow also had out of the t!TK?i? of his left hand badly crushed, besides being badly injured about the cheat. ? GREAT TREASURE VAULTS. RECEPTACLES TOU UNCLE SAM'S MONEY US WASHINGTON. How Money is Handled in tho Treas ury Building Printing and Count tns Paper Money. The great chilled-iron and steel vaults of tho treasury in Washington ate objects of much interest to visitors, but only cer tain ones can bo entered by outsiders, nnd these only on a permit from tho Treasurer. Tho five principal vaults nre c nnected with the Treasurer's ollice, for tho contents of which ho is responsible. They nre known as tho cash vault, tho re-tvve vault, the silver vault, the re demption vault and the National Bank vault. Tho cash vault is used more than all the others combined in the daily transaction of business, and presents more interesting features. It is con structed on tho most approved modern principles, and is, strictly speaking, nn iron-bound apartment lined with gold and silver. The walls, floor and ceiling nre of chilled-iron, built in sections. These walls are over a foot thick, the space between tho inner and outer plates of iron being filled with heavy iron b.-dls, forming a compact mass, the removal of which would require much time, skill and labor. The operation of removal would also be attended with much noise and danger to the workmen. There is only one entrance to the vault through an iron door1, which is only reached by pass ing through tho cashier's room, then through a high iron railing always kept locked, and afterward through the cash room, with another iron railing. After the outer door of thejyault is passed there nre two inner doors of chilled-iron and secured by two combination locks on each door. In addition to this, the outer door has a "time" lock, which precludes all possibility of access until the hour set for opening has arrived. Yet with nil tkis tke Government does not rely upon mechanical appliances en tirely for the safety of its ready cash. There are sixty wntchmen provided by law for the Treasury building, at a sal nry of $720 per annum each. They are uniformed in blue suits nnd have powers of arrest in case of necessity. The force is divided into three reliefs, serving eight hours each, so that there are watchmen on duty every hour of the twenty-four, all fully armed and prepared for any emergency. These men are supposed to Eatrol the hal's.nnd each salute his neigh or every half hour. At night the corri dors are lighted, not brilliantly, but suffi ciently to enable tho watchmen to see each other, or to distinguish a strange presence. There has never been a raid upon tke Treasury, except by the oflice seekers and ollicial rings, but the authori ties were a littlo nervous at the time of the labor riots in Washington in 1877, when the ' notorious . Cohen and his gang were parading the streets, armed, and vociferating ngainst everything that represented iiioney. The clerks in the different ollices were armed with large revolvers and formed into squads, with the chief of each bureau as tho commanding officer. This army of clerks was to act in concert with the force of watchmen, who were urged to exra vig ilance and precaution. The arrange ment was that, if the mob should attack the building at night, a certain sfcnal would be struck on the fire-alarm bells, upon hearing which the squads of clerks were to assscmble under arms in La fayette Square and march to tho ' assist ance of the force on theinside. There were five hundred Government pistols distributed among the clerks, so it will be seen that tho authorities wero really alarmed. The uprising dirl not amount to much, however, and was soon up pressed by the local authorities. Ono or two battles with tho police took all tho courage and desperation out of the mob. The Treasury remained unmolested, tir.d the valiant department clerks djd not have an opportunity of distin&iishingf themselves on the glorious field bat-' tie. b The Bureau of Engraving andVPriiti ing, where all our national currency is manufactured, occupies a large btick building built especially for it, at a cost of some $;tU0,0H0. It has three stories and a high basement, and is in the Po-' niauesque style of architecture. Here nnt . I.. .... - 1 1 1. .. 1 1 ... i iu pmie picssss uie woikcu oy uinu, uuim over olio men and women employed iirl ;he various processes of printing sheets of bank notes, bonds, and internal reve-ff nue stamps. 1 lie long spacious room. running the entire length of the third story, is a scene of intense activity during i u Bcuitu ui illicitae ucuvuy uiiring I s hours. Six hundred sheets pJ printed on eacii press, and after! iprcssion tho dJiieato copper and business hours day are eacn impression tho cliJiieato com steel plate must bo removed from tho press, carefully wined dry, polished with whiting, inked and then relumed to its place for another impression. The fiber paper must be haudhd expertly, and everything about the work doue with precision and care. All is perfect system and exactness here. The ge?nbacks and other securities issued by tho Govern ment, from the time the paper is man ufactured until the finished ito is issued, are subjected to a systeiu of registering and cheeking at every step, so minute and precise, that the chances of any error or dishonesty in the handling of this most valuable product is reduced to a minimum. The sheets, before being wet, are de livered to the plate printers, counted and charged to them, and again counted in the presence of a lady assistant, who cer tifies to the count. Attached to the presses by which the wetting is done are registers which automatically count the sheets a third time as they pass through. Jsext comes the examining division, where, after tho fourth count, the sheets are dried and counted tho fifth time. -I,aily-Wrpci-is tlwi:-. examine, the sheets, and those which are pronounced perfect go iuto the hydraulic press, from which powerful machinery they cmergo in a smooth state ready for printing. Any sheets spoiled in printing too light or too dark or otherwise imperfect nre thrown out by tho examiner, but ' cannot be destroyed until niter passing through a regular prescribed course. Tho letter ing and numbering divisions, and the engraving division on the other floors, are interesting also. Visitors are permitted to inspect all the divisions of tho bureau, nnd a guide is provided to conduct nil who npply on a "tour" of tho rooms. Of the 500 or 000 persons employed in the burenu a largo majority are ladies, nnd some of the most difficult nnd re sponsible work is performed by lady ex perts. Tke bureau turns out nn average of $:i00,000 in notes printed daily. Tho redemption division of tho Treas ury is ono of tho most interesting and busiest. Here worn and mutilated bank notes, retired from circulation, are ex amined aud counted, previous to being canceled. Every year currency to tho value of $200,000,000 is counted, canceled nnd destroyed. The counting is done by female clerks, mnny of whom ncquiie great skill and seldom make a mistake. Some of these "countesses" have been at work ten years or more, and have handled many millions of dollars. They sit at long tables on which the notes are piled, and package after package is opened, the notes closely scrutinized and counted, and then turned over to the officials in charge of tho canceling machine, which is run by a turbine wheel. A great deal of delicate work is done in verifying cur rency that has been partially destroyed by fire or other causes. Hundreds of thousands of dollars rendered worthless by various accidents aro received every year, and the most expert clerks nre required in examining it to redeem as much as ciia. be identified. Some time ago a muss of finders, the remains of $1,700 in notcs,.was received from Mis souri for redemption. The money had been placed in a stove over night for safe keeping and forgotten until after the tire was lighed next morning. The charred fragments'werc plecd in the hands of one of the expert ladies jn this bureau, and after ten day's dclicafcj labor and scrutinizing, she succeodetrin, identify ing eighty per cent of the notes. Tho owner was so over joyed that he presented her with a $100 bill. Instances of a sinf ilar nature frequently occur. In the room where new treasury notes aro counted visitors are not admitted, but tho work can be seeij through glass doors. Globe-Democrat. Seized by a Crocodile. "The most dangerous nyage foes we have to fear," said Stanley, the explorer, "are the crocodile.eVippopotamusand tho buffalo. We lost ure men during my last visit to tho Congo from these animals; three were killed by crocodiles, one by a hippopotamus, and one by a buffalo. There are large numbers of hippopotami along tho Congo and its tributaries, and thousands upon thousands of crocodiles. The latter nre by far the molt insidious foes we have, because the y are so silent and so swift. "You see a man bathing in the river," said Mr. Stanley, with one of his vivid graphic touches; "he is standing near tjio shore, laughing at you, perhaps, hqjghing in tho keen enjoyment of his bath; suddenly he falls over and you sou him no moro. A crocodile has approached unseen, h struck him a blow with its tail that knoelrSi him oyer, and he is instantly seized and carried'off. "Or, it may be that the man is swim ming; ho is totally unconscious of danger; there is" nothing in sight, noth ing to stir a tremor of apprehension; but there, in deep water, under tho shadow of that rock, or hidden beneath the shel ter of the trees yonder, is a huge croco dile, it has spotted the swimmer and is watching its opportunity; the swimmer approaches; he is within striking dis tance; stealthily, silently, unperceived tho creature makes .for its prey; the man knows nothing until ho is seized by the leg and dragged under, and he knows no more! A bubble or two indicates the place where he has gone down, and that is all." Oiltiny. Ynnderbllt's Vessel. Tho story of the offer of tho splendid atenmor Vanderlijlt to the Government during the war has often been told, but not with the circumstances supplied by Mr. Croffut iu his history of the family. The ship was n a gift,.but a loan, till tho war should be over; nevertlTWo-s, when the war was over, inske.ul of being returned to her owner she was mustered ito the navy, and Congress voted Mr. Ynujcrhilt a resolution of thanks and a medif4ur a present which had nevei been made. The Congres.sionat'onimif tee authorized to present him with the resolutions aud the $2") medal had rather a stormy time of it'. Ho rehearsed the particulars of the theft and akeil them if that was the way a givat an ! noble nation ought to conduct itself. Some of them declared that tin y had mi-understood, and wanted to return tho vessel. "Xo! deuce takerour im pudence!" shouted the Coflimodore; ' keep her. I don't care about a little 4hing like that!" Crippled Crime. The difficulty of preventing the escape of criminals has at all times grieved the friends of justice, but the most radical solution of the problem has prubal ly been devised in (ia.i, a seaport town claimed both by the Fmir of Belting and tho Sultan of Zanzibar. According to a correspondent of the Colonial Xii'm-j, the municipal authorities, who enjoy a local autonomy, have for yeyrs sav e 1 the expense of burglar-proof jails by ham stringing their niah factors and teaching them to earn a living by soiu sedenatry occupation. Besides being a useful avis au public, the crlnseijiient lameness pre vents a relapse, or at least the flight of u suspected backslider. Dr. Otrntl.. APACHE. From the awful desolation of the Llano Esta cado I have traced my red dominions with your blood upon the sand; You may see its current tinging through thu tawny Colorado, Are you mad, that you imagine I shall stay my lifted hand? I defy you and I hate you 1 Do you threnteu me with death? Me, whose fervid spirit surges with the con turies' hot breath? Tu. n and ask this flaming desert it has lain forever so; It has scorched the helpless mesa with its seething overflow; Molten, pitiless, remorseless ask it if I tea:1 to diet I am one with this immortal and tho bloodshot suns of years Burn within my soul, as ages they have burned this alkali ; I shall be again in the desert what have I to do with fears? You shall die, and I shall clasp you to my heart with hot embrace, Whispering words of awf ul vengeance In your pallid, speechless face. C. II. Phelps, in LippincolVs. HUMOR OF THE DAY. A movable feast dining in a palace car. Philadelphia Call. It is generous on tho part of a driver to let a horse have its head. New Or leans Picayune. "It's about timo to wind up this af fair," as the brakeman said when he took hold of tho brake. Philadelphia Call. A fly is said to have 10,000 eyes. ' That is the reason why a fly isn't put out when he happens to mislay his nose-glasses. Philadelphia Call. "Great men often riso from small be ginnings," says a writer. They often rise small endings also e. g., tho point of a pin. Burlington Free Press. A minister not long ago preached from the text: "Be ye, therefore, steadfast." But tho printer made him expound from "Be ye there for breakfast." Sif lings. An editor who was pushed out of bed by nn nggrcssive bedfellow was heard to mutter something about "owing to a press of mutter," something or other was "un avoidably crowded out." Burlington Free Press. A man boasted that ho had been bitten several times by both healthy nnd rabid dogs, and had never felt any symptoms of hydrophobia. It was afterward dis covered that he was a slave to the sausage-habit. Puck. Joseph Cook reeently said that every one should have an aim in life. Wo pre sume Mr. Cook does not allude to women. An aim in life wouldn't do them any good. They would never hit it.nnyway, unless they improved very much in their throwing. Puck. "Where is my angel!" inquires a poet in Goodall's Sun. Ten to ono she is re clining on a lounge, reading a sensational novel, while her mother is frying slap jacks for supper in the kitchen. Poets' "angels" are usu'dly this class of girls. CltiaagoTelegram. A man has reason to be patriotically proud of a bald head, for the great na tional and high-soaring bird of freedom has been in the same tix for a thousand yours, and, for all we know, way back of the time that Noah struck tho spring freshet. Auburn Advertiser. Getting things mixed: A country minister who, in addition to his clerical duties,fo!lowed the profession of aphoto grapher, was culled upon to perforin the marriage ceremony. "Now, then, youm man," he said to the bridegroom, who was nervous and excited, as all grooms ought to be, "just keep your eye on that crack in the wall, aud try and look pleas ant." Harper1 Bazar. T THE SEASIDE. Moshl Cash. Kiss; Bliss. Bolder; Colder. Frost; Lost. Tid-Bits. Hail Insurance in Dakota. "Tho trouble I find in doing business here," said a man to a strang.-r on a Da kota train, "is that expenses are so heavy paying out money all the time." "I don't tind it that way," replied the other. "Now iu my business I never pay out anything." "Well, that's pretty good. ' What is your business?'' "I'm running a Territorial hail insurance cum- pany.'.' "I shoul moiiev to meet lo: "I should think it would take necessary." "How do you arrange ii?" "If a farmer reports a loss I ask him what else he could expect with his crop scat tered ull over the farm. Then 1 show him a clause in the policy that ho hadn't scon before, in which he is instructed to take his crop in every night and put it under the bed, where it will bo safe," "But you don't talk that way when you are insuring them?" "Oh, no; my agents tell them that if they see a cloud coming up they may go right down town and draw on tho company for the full amount." KMline (Dik.) Pell. A (hieen Who Paddles Her Own Cunoe. Tho Queen of Italy is soon to rejoica iu the possession of au American canoo, a genuine Indian birch bark construction, which Baron l'ava, the Italian minister, has secured for her. The canoe is twenty feet long, and tho Baron has procured all the puddles aud accompaniments for it, and is now having head work cushions and mats of fragrant grasses made for it. ' lo will Bend it ou to Home, and in due me it will t'oat in some lake of tho palace gardens and feiry (ueeu Marghcr ita over the waters. 0lvlt-Dhwcia,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers