THE FOREST REPDBLICAN Is pnbllhod STry Wedne df, by J. E. WENK. O 111 oo In Bmenrbaugh & Co.' Building ELM STREET, TI0NK8TA, T. Terms, ... 1 1.50 per Year. RATES OP ADVERTISING. On Sqnsre, on Inch, on Insertion ..f 1 00 On Sqnare, on Inch, on month............ S 00 One Squnr, one Inch, three month. OS One Square, one Inch, on year 10 00 Two Squares, on year ...... U 00 Quarter Colnmn, one year. 10 00 Half Column, on year , M 00 On Column, on year.... ...........loo to luteal advertisements ten cent r line each la icrtion. Marriage and death notice, rratl. All bill, for yearly adrertlacainnl collected quar terly. Temporary adrertiiemrata mast be paid In advance. Job work aah on delivery. No ntrrlpllons received for a shorter period thnn tltr months. Oorrmpondenc sollelleit from all psrts of the country. No notice will be taken of Donrmom coinmunlcatloDi. YOL.ITIII. NO. 21. TIONESTA. PA.. WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMBER 9. 1885. $1.50 PER ANNUM. iX A; IV 0 THE COMING MAN. The Coming Mn I slug: tho Coming Mnn Evolved In nature since the world began By Energy Divine: the Man forotold Forevermore, whom Hoiioand Faith behold. AH voices shall he hear, all Volume read: Trobe to the heart of every code and crcod; Cut uncut page of Croajion's book ; In life itself for life'a deep secrets look; Intent hta heart and vigilant his brain The seventh essence of truth to gain. He shall be humble, yet supremely bold The scroll of Time's t xperience to unfold; Where Scionco lifts her daring flambeau high He greets the glowing torch with fearless eye; Where, past the known, Hollgion wings her fight His solemn gaze pursues her starry light Not knowledge only enters in the plan And consitmmition of tho Coming Man, And not belief nlono, however true; The brst is not to rest, it is to do; The Coming Man shall bo a man of deeds Employing sulmtaneo and supplying needs. Ills wisest word shall lenr a titting act, And all his speculation bloom to fact; The goodness of his ethics he shall prove. By logical results of active love. IK II. Vennble, in tht Current. A CLOSET'S SECRET. Mr. lloraco Melton was a promising young lawyer, who hud the enviable reputation of being "one or the best catches in town." Consequently there was great rejoicing among the family and friends of Miss Matilda 1'nlfrcy when it was understood that he had requested her to bo his wife. Mr. Melton's own family was not so much pleased. Matilda herself wag good enough; but her mother and old Mrs. Melton and her daughter shook, their heads and hoped that poor, dear Horace wouldn't find his niothcr-in-law too much for him. Sho was known as a woman of deter mined mind, who had ruled her husband and children, and was inclined to help manage tho affairs of her acquaintances In general; and it was not probable that sho would make an exception in favor of her son-in-law. And lloraco was so easy and good natured, his mother said, with a si"h, that there was little hope of his opposing "that woman's'' influeuce in his own household. Despite these warnings, Horace, like a true lover, resolved to take his Matilda for better or for worse, and at once com menced preparations for his marriugc. Tho young couple were to live" in a house recently left him by an uncle a pleasant, roomy mausion.set a littlo back from the main street, in the niids: of an ornamental garden. Tho "furniture and effects" had been bequeathed to Horace's mother and sis ters, and had already been removed ull save ono article, the presence of which caused.the young man some embarrassed consideration. - The late Mr. Melton.had been, accord ing to the estimation of the neighbors, a rather eccentric old irentleman, who had Interested himself iii" literary and scien tific pursuits, and in inventing and man ufacturing various mechanical contriv ances, more ingenious than useful. Among these was an artificial human skeleton wrought in wood, everv bone being a perfect imitation, and the"joints Ingeniously set on springs, so that when worked by invisible wires, the ghastly object would go through a few convul sive motions. This grim work of art, upon which the old gentleman had greatly prided him self, ho had bequeathed to his voua" friend, Marrowby, a medical student, to be claimed by him so soon as he should have won his diploma, and had an ottico ia which to establish it. And meanwhile, by his own special direction to his nephew, it remained upon its pedestal in a small closet be longing to the old gcutleiuun'e work room, where its presence, when tho nephew came to prepare the house for his bride, caused him some embarrassed consideration. It would certainly, he thought, not prove a pleasing subject for the contemplation of his Matilda; nei ther was he suro but that (die might feel nervous and annoyed at tho knowledge of such a ghastly object in the house. So ho finally concluded to say nothing abont it, but to lock the closet; and. as an additional security against discovery, to put a nail or two in the door. For the first week or two of their mar riage the young couple were of course very happy, desiring nothing beyond their own home am each other's society. Matilda, w ho had been all her life rule'd by her mother, was delighted with hav ing her own way in her own home, which it was her chief enjoyment to make at tractive for her husband. Such delicious littlo suppers as sho prepared for him; such blissful evenings as they two had spent together with books aud music, and pleasant chat; and above all, the delightful feeling of indenendence in their own house and homo. But alas, for human happiness! Scarce threo weeks had they enjoyed this bliss ful sunshine, wheu a cloud suddenly overshadowed it. This cloud came in tho shape of a hack, which ono evening deposited at their door a plethoric trunk, covered with canvas, and a thin lady done up in furs. The latter, without permitting the servant to announce her, walked into the parlor, wheie Horace and Matilda, his arm around her waist and her head ou his shoulder, were lookiup7 over the new magazines, and enjoying the funny political caricatures. "Mamma!" exclaimed Matilda, start ing up und coining forward wilb a by no ini03 rapturous expression of surprise. "Yes, my dear, it is ; und I hope you are not sorry to see me." "Delighted, lam sura," said Mr. Wal ton, with a great effort to look what he prof cased r Mrs. Palfrey seated herself in her son-in-law's own special arm chair, and said, amiably: "Bcally, I missed you so much, Matil da, and was so anxious, lloraco, to see how you two were getting along, that I just tossed a few things together and rim down to spend a day or two with' you. You certainly do look very com fortable." with a criticising glance around the tasteful little sitting-room. Then she ran on and talked for nn hour, until something was said about tea, when sho remarked that she h&d lately taken a' fancy to chocolate and Kussian caviare at that meal. Jane was accordingly dispatched to procure these delicacies; and meanwhile. Mrs. Palfrey favored her daughter and son-in law with suggestions lor a more "harmonious" arrangement of the sitting room furniture, together with criticisms on tho pattern of tho carpet and wall paper. "Never mind, dear," said Mr. Melton, soothingly, when at last his mother-in-law had been persuaded to retire for a good night's rest after her rido. "Let us humor her for the day or twothatshe will remain, and then we can have our own way again." Hut Mrs. Palfrey gave no indication of an intention of speedily ending her visit. On the contrary, she made arrange ments for being comfortable in her own room, and then set about investigating into the household and domestic affairs, snd reforming and regulating things ac cording to her own notions. This involved a system of cookery comprising her own favorite dishes, while Mr. Melton's were condemned as cither unwholesome or extravagant; and also a constant shifting about of furni ture ; so that, as her son-in law observed, when he came home of an evening, he never knew where to look for anything. To add to his uneasiness, Mrs. Palfrey began to give hints of letting her own houso, and in future dividing her time between her two dear, married daugh ters, to whoso inexperience and helpless ness sho could bo of so much use, and such a comfort in case of sickness they having no family to look after them. If the old lady should choose to carry out this plan what could they dot Air. Melton and Matilda asked each other. Uf course mamma could not be turned out of their house; and yet and Mrs. Melton turned away to hide her tears, whilst her husband walked up and down the floor, striving, for his wife's sake, to repress his vexation. Had it depended upon himself he would have had small scruples; but how could he hurt Matilda's feelings by being what she would consider rude or unkind to hor mother i Mrs. Palfrey had not been three days in the house when she made an explor ing tour throughout every nook and corner, and among other things remarked the locked closet. j "What have you stored away there?' she inquired of her daughter. "I don.t know. Some old lumber, I suppose. Horace merely said he prefer red it to remain locked, as we had no special use for it." "But where is the key! Of course you have looked into it?" "No ; I have not cared about it. I be lieve Horace has the key." "You don't mean to say, Matilda, that you allow your husband to lock up apart ments in your house and keep the keys himself, without ever letting you know what he has shut up in them? Why, Bluebeard himself couldn't do a moro outrageous thing!" "It is only a iii tie closet, mamma, and if there had been anything particular in it, he would havo told me." "Humph! littlo you know about hus bands and their ways! Now, I will wager that Horace has his uncle's choice o'd wines and spirits stored in that closet, to which he helps himself on tho sly." But when, that evening, Mrs. Palfrey hinted an inquiry to her son-in-law in regard to the late Mr. Melton's stock of wines, he assured her that his uncle had left none. He had never stored wines, but bought them as they were needed. This only added to Mrs. Palfrey's curiosity, and a day or two after she assailed him again. "I have been assisting Matilda in ar ranging the store room more conven iently. I think that ground-floor rather damp, and that it needs a good airing and some quick-lime. 1 noticed a closet in one corner which omits a musty and unwholesomo smell. It ought to be opened and thoroughly ventilated. There is nothing so dangerous in a house as dump.'" "So my uucle thought," replied Mr. Melton, composedly, "aud ho was.there forc, particular in the building and fin ishing of the ground floor and cellars. Tho closet is perfectly dry perhaps, in deed, the dryest spot in the house. There is no necessity for airing it, I as suro you." Thenceforth, Mrs. Palfrey daily pon dered upon tho locked closet door. Why should it be kept fastened, and tho key in Mr. Melton's possession, un less it contained something which he particularly desired to keep secret? "Perhaps it is family papers," sho thought. "I always fancied there must bo some mystery about the Meltons some of them have been so queer. May be there's insanity in tho family; or they got their money in some odd way which they wouldn't iike to have known. For Matilda's sake I ought to look over those papers." So with this wish strong in her miud, Mrs. Palfrey one day, wheu her daughter was out, collected all the keys of the house, and repairing to the ground floor tried them ou the lock of the mysterious closet. liy good fortune one of them fitted. She heard tho bolt shoot back, and then, attempting to open the door, she dis covered Hhnt it was secured, by a couple of nails. Here was a heightening of the mystery. Not satisfied with locking the, closet, ho had actually nailed it up! There must bo something there of more importance than old letters and papers something which her son-in-law was particularly anxious to conceal, and which he bad never hinted of even to his wife. Who knew but that something dread ful had been done in that houso by that strange old man, who had lived alone and led such a secluded sort of a lifo ? And Mrs. Pulfrey firmly made up her mind to discover tho whole mystery be fore she was many days older. There should be no secrets in her daughter's house kept from her knowledge; and as it was, the whole thing was a wrong and nn insult to Matilda and herself. So on Sunday evening Mrs. Palfrey complained of a "dreadful headache, ' which would prevent her accompanying Mr. and Mrs. Melton to evening service. She would bo better for being left alone an hour or two. And when they were gone, sho gave Jane permission to go out if sho liked, as sho herself intended to remain at home. And having secretly watched her off in company with a nice-looking young man, Mrs. Palfrey took a lamp and a hummer, and therewith repaired to the store-room on the ground floor. With some difficulty she extracted tho nails, and then inserting the key, again heard the bolt shoot back. The sound sent a triumphant thrill through her veins. She was about to seo for herself what was tho mystery which her son-in-law had been so careful to hide from herself and his wife! Holding the lamp abovo her head, Mrs. Palfrey slowly opened the door. Merciful heavens! What was that grim aud ghastly figure which, grin ning in her face, slowly stretched forth its skeleton fingers to embrace her? With ono fearful shriek she started back, letting the lamp fall from her hand, and the next moment was lying senseless upon the floor in profound darkness. "I suppose she has gone to bed," said Matilda, when, returning from church, they found the parlor deserted and tho gas turned down. "I will go up and seo how she is feeling." In a few moments sho returned. "Mamma is nowhere up stairs, and neither sho nor Jane are in the kitchen. Where can they have gone to?'' At this moment a strange, sepulchral sound was heard to issue from beneath the floor a sort of weak but shrill scream. "Good gracious! What can that be?" exclaimed .Matilda, turning pale. Mr. Melton's eyes suddenly lighted. An expression, half-amused and half alarmed, crossed hiu face. "I think your mother must have gone to tho storo room for something, and perhaps soino littlo accident occurred No ! stay here, dear, while I go and see." She followed him to the head of tho stairs, but obeyed his request to come no further. In a moment or two ho emerged, sup porting the limp form of his mother-in-iaw, wifu white face and wild eyes, to whom, after placing her on a sola, they proceeded to administer restoratives. "Dear mamma!" said Matilda, anx iously, "what has happened? What has frightened or hurt youf" "The the horrid skeleton I" gasped Mrs. Palfrey, hysterically, and turning a look of concentrated indignation upon her son-in-law. "Skeleton!" repeated Matilda. "Oh, Horace, she must be out of her mind !" "Out of my mind !" snorted Mrs. Pal frey, trembling with angor and nervous ness. "How dare you say that, Matilda? If I were not possessed of more than or dinary sense, I should havo been frightened to death at sight of that that dreadful object!" And hero sho commenced to gasp and tap her heels convulsively ou tho sofa. "I am very sorry," Mr. Melton said, with difficulty repressing the smile that quivered about the corners of his mouth. "The skeleton ahem! is only an in genious aud harmless contrivance of my late uncle's, with which he amused his leisure hours. There is not tho slightest cause for being frightened." Then he added, in a 'whisper, to his wife: "It is not a real skeleton, dear; only an imitation in wood ; a sort of scientific work of art, which it would amuso you to see. But you may us well not explain this to your mother, just now." Next day. Mrs. Palfrey, havingentire ly recovered from her unwonted nervous attack, uppeared in a mood of intense, suppressed indignation against her son-in-law. As regarded her own part, she ex plained that, fancying her headache to have been caused by tho mephitic air of the locked closet penetrating through tho floor of the room, sho had gone clown to open tho closet and let it out. never dreaming of such an outrageous thing as the skeleton of n dead man being kept in a respectable family dwelling-house. And if that disgusting and ghastly ob ject was still to remain there, sho would no longer stay beneath that roof ;and she strongly advised Matilda to leave also. No man had a right to keep unburicd dead people in the house with his fam ily. Mr. Melfon explained that he had promised his undo to allow the skeleton to remain us he hud left it until Doctor Marrowby should claim aud take it away. In consequence of which information his mother-in-law at ouce packed up her trunk, and thut eveuiug departed, warn ing tLieiu of her firm determination never to remain another night beneath the same roof with a dead man's unburied bones. And when she had gout, Mr. Melton and his wife (who had no objection to a wooden skeleton in tho house) had a smiling talk to themselves; and though Matilda said, "Poor mnmmat it was too bad that she should have had such a fright," she -looked very happy as she set about rearranging her houso to suit herself. Somehow, Doctor Marrowby has never called for his skeleton, and such being the case, Mrs. .Palfrey only pays an occa sional day's visit to her daughter and son-in-law, making her headquarters at a boarding-house in the town, kept by one of her friends. Sutan Archtr Weiss. Tho Perfumery Business. A writer in an exchange says that there are many laboratories in the United States which produce excellent perfumery, but the business is relatively new in this country when compared with the establishments of the sort on the Kiviera, where tho inhabitants for tho most part live upon the products which that blessod climate afford them in sweet smelling flowers and shrubs. I was reading only tho other day some thing about the perfumery manufac tories of Nice and Cannes, and a friend, who has a happy faculty of collecting useful knowledge, has since given me tho latest statistics of one great estab lishment in tho latter city which are worth relating, if only to show the enormous scale on which operations are conducted. In this factory are annually used only think of it! no fewer than 154,000 pounds of orangejblossoms, 132, 000 pounds of acacia blossoms, 154,000 pounds of rose leaves, 35,200 pounds of lassamine blossoms, 82,900 pounds of violets, 8,800 pounds of tube roses and a relatively large amount of Spanish lilacs, rosemary, mint, lime and lemon blos soms, thyme and number of other plants and leaves and flowers, Nice and Cannes together raise yearly 00,000 Eounds of violets, which thrive there etter, perhaps, than in other parts of the world, to say nothing of. 440,000 of orange blossoms which Nice alone produces, and which are moro than doubled in quantity by tho neighboring villages. Acacia blossoms are the spe cialty of Cannes whero 38,500 pounds are obtained yearly, and where jasmine, tuberoses and roses also flourish. The totol annual production of perfumery in the Kiviera towns is said to bo 313, 000 pounds of pomades and sweet scented oils. The area of the land devoted to the growth of trees and plants in question may be imagined when it is considered that to obtain one ton of blossoms it is necessary to strip 30,01)0 jasmine plants, 500 rose bushes, 100 orange trees. 800 geranium and 70,000 tube roses of their wealth of bloom. Violets need most space, and next orange trees, roses und jasmine require one-third less space than the orange trees, and tube roses one-fifth less. From these various perfumes in combination are made pomade, salve, hair oil, toilet water, sachet powder, in cense, balsam, and essences. The name of the perfumes which nre offered for sale is legion, although the best known and most agreeable of them all is cau de cologne. Its preparation is naturally a secret, pieservcd with the greatest strictness. Tho name Farina, connected with this perfume, is known throughout the entire civilized world, and if one wishes to get an idea of the real benefit which an article is supposed to derive from a single name, it is only necessary, as many of my readers know, to visit the "holy" city of Cologne, wander about in tho city of the Tulichs Platz, and study the firm names on the signs. All the Farinas in the world seem to be here assembled, and every one of them manufactures cau de cologne. A New Fashion Among Birds, That birds are imitative creatures has long been known. Many species will simulate the notes and calls of others with such accuracy as to defy detection, while somo will imitate tho noiso mado by animals, or even the human voice. Hitherto, however, tho imitations havo been supposed to bo purely vocal, each species retaining its own manners, flight and walk, regardless of thoso of its fel lows. Many of these are distinctive and peculiar enough, none more so than tho flights of the tumbler pigeon. No natu ralist has, so far as wo are aware, hith erto ventured to grapple with the prob lem of why this kiud of pigeon should have taken to throw somersets in tho air. Other varieties of pigeons lAive appar ently equally failed in understanding the matter. They may often bo ob served watching the performance with an attention aud gravity savoring of reprobation, but they are never seen to attempt an imitation of it. It appears, however, that other birds are taking the matter in hand, aud there is a prospect, if the fashion spreads, that tumbling may in time become generally populur among tho winged race, and that even the sparrow, us he descends from the house-top to tho road, may deem it necessary to throw himself head over heels half a dozen times. The jackdaw has been tho first bird to follow tho fash ion set by tho tumblers. A correspond ent of tho Field has seen a pair of these birds near Shcrborno following some tumbler pigeons and imitatiug their flight so accurately that at a short distance they might be mistaken for them. The news will be most welcome to the fair sex, who have hitherto been supposed to stand alone in creation in their willing ness to make themselves uncomfortable or ridiculous scmply because others set tho fashion. Ijjiidon Standard, The value of tho horses and mules of the United States is placed at if 1,014, -(lill.OUO, mules being worth 101,4114,000 of the aggregate amount. Four millions of false teeth are manu factured ia this country every year. STRICKEN BY CATALEPSY. THE STRAIT OS DISEASE THAT NEARLY RESEMBLES DEATH. Hi ( aiiei, It fOffrct find Its Treat ment According- to I. meet l;jpe. rlcnco iitereKtlng- Oetnilft. The following is taken from a pnper by Dr. J. Martin Kershaw: By catalepsy we mean a condition in which there Is more or less completo loss oT consciousness and voluntary motion and a rigid state of tho muscles of the body, which latter is preserved for a greater or less length of time, in exactly tho position assumed at tho onset of the altaek. If the subject w in the midst of a speech, and his right arm raised to give force to arguments, it will remain in the upraised position for a length of time and then slowly and almost impercepti bly fall to his side. During this time the patient is quite unconscious and the body tirmly rigid. An old professor oc casionally had cataleptic seizures, during which he would suddenly cease talking, retain the position held at tho time ol the attack, and after a few moments go on with his lecture, totally unaware of thil (fact that a slip of his conscious life had been snatched from him. His lec ture was always resumed at exactly the point at which he had left off. The appearance of a subject of cata lepsy is almost precisely like that of death. The skin is very pale, and gen erally of a waxen hue; the surface of the body is cold, generally from two to four degrees below the normal temperature of the body; the heart's sounds are scarcely audiolc, while tho fact that the patient breathes can only be discovered by the closest observation. In cases of true hysteria and ecstasy the breathing is very perceptible. If a leg bo placed up abovo tho body it will remain there an indefinite length of time; if an arm be extended at right angles from the body it will retain its position for several mo ments, and perhaps for an hour or two. This particular condition is peculiar to catalepsy. An old-timo physician relates an in stance where the patient became cata leptic just as sho was putting a cup of tea to her mouth. It is not reported that any mishap occurred, and sho fin ished tho beverage at the conclusion of the attack. A subject of the complaint in Bellevuo hospital, New York, re mained upon his back for a considerable time (the limbs were placed in position by attendants), with both arms and one leg raised high in tho air. He was un conscious during tho entire time. I had a young married lady under my professional care somo time ago, whoso caso at the beginning opened up in a comical way. She hud been run down and was nervous for some time, and one dark, stormy night, about bedtime, her whole body suddenly became fixed and rigid. Her husband, in his fright, raised her right arm directly in front of her body in such a way that the fixod arm and fingers pointed directly at him. The white, ghostly face and upraised ami of justice were too much for him. In a few seconds of time he recalled tho sins of his youth, and with one terrified look he fled from the house and oppeared at my office with his eyes as large as young sugar bowls and his hair standing up all over his head like a new feather duster. Under appropriate treatment the lady recovered. One of the principal causes of this difficulty is an inherited nervous tem perament, which predisposes oue to nervous disease. Most subjects havo relatives that are afflicted with hysteria, epilepsy or insanity. . Most of the cases met with are women. Fright, anger and grief are ofteu exciting causes. AY hen Co vent Garden theatre last burned down a young girl in St. Mary's hospital awak-. ened suddenly, and saw tho fire. Sho was greatly excited all night, and tho next morning she had a cataleptic fit. In olden time it Is altogether probablo that subjects of catalepsy were but too frequently buried alive. A mistake of that kind could scarcely happen now; but the application of tho mirror to the mouth for tho purpose of detecting moisture, the placing of the hot iron to the flesh to determine whether tho circu lation continues these are means which should always be employed in doubtful cases. I could point you to a lady now in our midst who was carried to tho cemetery while under the influence of thisdiscaso,and only recovered conscious ness as sho was being lowered into tho grave. The lust test mentioned would certainly have determined her truo con dition. In the Lutheran cathedral at Madgeburg there is a monument erected to the memory of the Frau von Asseburg. Sho is represented as a maturo woman, kneeling in front of a block of stone, and by her side is her husband. Stretch ing outward from her side is a goodly line of daughters, and from tho sido of her husband an equal lino of sons. The inscription relates how this noblo lady was, after her marriage, taken sick, and, under the supposition that sho was dead tho body was pluced in tho family vault. Fortunately tho vault was left unlocked, and regaining consciousness in tho night she returned homo to her husband, and in time bore all this fair family after her strange experience in the tomb. There is still a custom kept up in somo parts of Germany of placing a bell above the public receptacles for the dead, and fasteuing tho "hand of the corpse to tho robe, so that it may be rung by the chanco victim of burial before death. Tho disease is undoubtedly feigned, too, at times, but can be detected. If a weight be attached to the upraised leg of a truo cataleptic, tho limbs will gradually be drawn down to the level of the body. A case suspected of feiguiug had a weight l ttached to tho leg and thinking ho must hold it up, ho ex tried nil his strength to keep the leg from be ing pulled down. The tesi was ex plained to him, when he confessed the SONG. It Is the longest day; By the summer bay, In sweet air and light, We linger until night, Which but sleeps a little while 'Twixt the sunset and dawn's smile. Yet now 'tis sad to think and see Every day must shorter be, Every month an hour less bright Until midwintor white. But in the dark nights lengthening drear, Christmas waits us with good cheer, And ploasant book In fireside nook, And faces round us dear. . It is the shortest day; Winter's sky is gray, The bleak winds blow, The world is white with snow, As by the hearth-nook warm, We hear the wide, wild storm: But for a spa-o each month that o'er Us rolls shall longer grow By an hour or so; And it is pleasant through the frore Weather, still to look before To coming days, when through the hare Lifting o'er blue sunny beys, Spring will reach our shore. Cassell's Family Magazint IIUM0U OF THE DAY. Well handled A pump. Full of pointers Tho porcupine. An irritable nation Vaccination. High time That kept by a town clock. Cranberries will cure dyspepsia. That's sour opinion. Si. I'aul Herald. A country seat that always rents The barb-wire fencj. Boston Bulletin. Making crazy quilts is the proper work for bedlamites. Chicago Sun. A cyclone is like a waiter. It carries everything before it. Carl Pretzel. Mosquitoes arc free from ono vice at least. They can't stand smoking. Detroit Free Press. If some men had to "cat their words," their health would bo ruined forever. Merchant- Traveler. Some ono says: ".Man is born to rule the world." Yes, but he sometimes gets married. Boston Pott. Japanese fans sell from three cents up lo $300. The former aro tho best for use. It is easier to "raise the wind" at that price. Aorristoun Herald. Cucumbers sliced are said to remove freckles. This is not wonderful. They have been known to "remove" whole families. Marathon Independent. "I am coming, oh, my darling!" sings a sweet Western poetess. Oh, that's all right; only you needn't let all the other fellows know it. Philadelphia tCall. The fool gives pursuit with a running jump When the wind skips away with his ttle. But the wise man stands ou the curb and grins Till his own is returned with a smile. Chicago Ledger. "Tho large cow," says an agricultural contemporary, "is going to be tho com ing cow." If that is the case wo will gracefully retire over the fence when we see one. Hitings. "Ho called mo an ass," exclaimed an overdressed, excited dude. "Well, you ain't one," soothingly replied a kindly eop; "you are only a clothes horse." Merchant-Traveler. A coincidence "All alono, my dear child. I'm afraid that husband of yours neglects you terriMy. lie's always at the club when I call." ' "Yes, mamma; but he's at home at other times." Lon don Fan. A recent writer asserts that the sexes re gradually, but surely, drifting apart. This statement was made, however, be fore the advent of the season when frozen lacteal nourishment congeals tho sexes in t powerful bond of sympathy and union. Boston Timet. A man claiming to be a scientist wants lomo one to bore tho csrth to prevent its nurstiug. We have a friend who wo think would be able to do it. Up to this time he has devoted all his boring energies to us, and we would bo glad to ice him try it on tho rest of the earth. Uoston Post. He stood outaide the garden gate And whistled in a minor key; She sat at her boudoir window and I 'aught on to his melody; A Bristol bulldog sat between, Wagging his bullet head; "Ah, there!" the lover whisjieitid low; "Stay there!" the maiden said. Boston Times. What the Newspaper Docs. Bev. John lihey Thompson, of New York, says: The crowning marvel of our modern civilization is tho print ing press. It is impossiblo to over jstimato its vast power. It prop igates and diffuses information. It trivei wings to knowledgo, so that on i breath of morning it flies everywhere to bless aud elevate. I stand in growing wonder in tho presence, of tho printing press. It lays its hands upon tho tele jraph and speedily gathers news from all parts of tho world, and acute editors nd ubiquitous reporters and rapid com positors and flying steam presses commit lo paper a faithful photograph of what is going on in the world. And yonder stands tho irou horse, with breath of flume and ribs of steel, ready to go to re mote portious of the country, dropping packages of the daily papers on the way. Ye, it is a mighty engino for good and a inightv engine, too, for evil. Like all Ihe blessings of this trial-life of ours, it is not uu unmixed blessing. Afchunistaii's population is about equal to that of the Statu of New York, while ihe extent of its territory. 225,000 .Uai(! miles, is considerably less than that of Texas, which contains 237,604 square tail;
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers