m FOBiiT MFDEUCAll I ptitil'.hfxl i -ery Wcrtmmlay, by j. eAvenk. O:;ioin Snw-.i' -iV'h ft Co.'n Building KLM PTKMiT, 1VOXESTA, r. Terms, - - - iV.BO per Yosr. Ko ilrrl.l!or, received f.n shorter period Cirrvi..n l.-i.ee nilieltMl front nil part of tire nullify. No node will be tnk.Yi i,f v DATES OF AOVERTISINO. On Square, on Inch, one lu.rtlon. t 1 c On Bqnare, one Inch, ore month S 00 One Square, one Inrh, three months. i ( One Square, on Inch, on year 19 Of Two fqiisrpn, one year 19 0-1 Quarter Column, one year. 81 On Half Column, one year 60 Of) One Column, one year loo : 1-eeal advertisement ten cent ytrt line each in ecrtiou. Marriage and death notices eiati. All bill, for yearly advertisement collected qnar terly. Temporary advertisement muet. be pain In advance. Job work ah on delivery. Y0L.I7II JO. 5J, TIONESTA. PA.. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 1885. $1.50 PER ANNUM. r..u.iniiir;lrrali,ii.. X MA V If I this nipiit, at set of aim, Should find my race whs nearly run Wculd I havo earned the fclad "'Well Aino?"- 1 won;ler. Would I look bark at dear onos here! "Would I go onward without fear? v ouid tuere bo time for any tearl- I wondar. Would it then bo so strangoly sweet, 1 Whore loved onos wait their own to greet, I That life would pass with winged feet! V I wonder. Would all the countless trials sor Ferplex mo never, never morel Would heartaches, failures, all be o'er? I wonder, lie snys, "UntaUle weary rest," Unto the friojruleas home so blost; And so to b-.ni I leave the rest , No wondar. lioston Transcript. TWO DOZEN BUTTONS. Betty sighed. Now, why she should have ajjjhod nt this particular moment no ore on earth could tell. And it was H tho more exasperating because John nad just generously put into hor littlo shapely hand a brand new ten-dollar bill. And here began the trouble. "What's tho matter?" he said, his faco. falling at tho faint sound and his niovitfi clapping together in what those .who knew him but littlo called an obstinate pucker. Nay what is it?' . Betty, w' . had just begun ta' change the sigh iiu.j a, merry little lough rip pling all ovwr tho corners of .(he red lips stopped suddenly, tossed hir head, and, with a small jerk no wry conciliatory sent out the words: 'You needn't iusim'mte, John, that I 'im always troublesome." "I diJn't insinuate who's talkingof insinuating?" cried he, thoroughly in censed nt the very idea, and backing away a fow steps, he glared down from tremendous height, in extreme irrita '. tion. "It's yourself who is forever in- . sinoating and all that, and then for vou to put it on me it's M)ly abominable." i'.The vnioe vathnrah. nnd the nvrthar. hibkeii down into hers was not pleasant to behold. ( . "And if you think, John Teabody, that I'll stond" and havo such things said to mo; you jaiisa your guess that's all l' cried Betty, with two big red spots com ing in he cheeks, as she tried to draw hor littlo, 'erect figure to its utmost di menaioas. "Forever insinuating! I i guess yu wouldn't have said that before I 1 married you. Oh, now you can, of course !" ' '; ' "Didn't you sny it first, I'd liko to r know?" cried John, in great excitement, luniwir rr nearer me sinaii creature no 1.111 ,i i. ; i i. f H II!;, W 1117 ri f& iw.lli Ufa U1U1 Iwit! Uzing eyes of indignation; "I cm: , ii.luro everything!" I w.uitif you near more than I do," cried Hetty, wholly beyond control now, "why, then, I'll give up," and she gave (a bitter littlo laugh and tossed her head again. And bnrn tTiev werfl in mlilof nf n ' quarrel. These two who, but a year be- fore, had promised to love and protect ad help each oiher through lifo. ; "Now," said John, and he brought ..'his hand down with such a bang on the tuble before him him that Betty nearly A skipped out of her little shoe only she i rout rolled the start, for sh would have i (i l(t before she had let John see it, "we ; Svill have no more of this nonsense 1" fl faeo was very pale and the lines .' round the mouth so drawn that it would .' j ave gone to any one's heart to have 4y t;n their expression. "1 dou't know how you will change ,'or hl) it," ssid Betty lightly, to hide er diumay ut the turn affairs had taken, m sure-! and she pushed back the light, aviui,' Lair from hor forehead with s jury, indifferent gesture. ; That buir that John always smoothed when' he petted her, tired or dinheuH enecl, nnd ciisii il !" "child." Her ges ' turo struck to '" 1nrt as he glaueed at ' lvr sunny lf'i u -1 the cool, indiUcr rnt face undcrn ii, and before he knew it he was bu. in; : "There is no help for it now, I sup- l ose." "Oh, yes, there is," 6aid Betty, still in tliiit cool, calm way that ought notto have deceived him. But men know so little of women's hearts, although they mat' live with them for vears in closest ' , friendship. "Vou need not try to en j dure it, John I'eabody, if you don't wan; to. I'm sure I don't care!" "What do you mean?" Her husband grasped her arms nnd compelled the merry brown eyes to look uj) to him. j "I can go bark to mother's," said ' B'jtty, piovukingly. "She wants me any day, and then you can live quietly and to suit yourself, and it will be bet ter all around." Instead of bringing out a violent pro s. testation of fond affection and remorse, which sic fully expected, John drew himself uo, looked at her fixedly for a lonrr Irnif minute, then nronned her A J arm, and with white lips suid slowly : "Yes, it may be better as you say, bet ter all around. You know best'."' and was gone from the room before she could recover from her astonishment enough to utter a sound. With a wild cry Betty riwhcd across the room, first tossing the ten dollar bill savagely as far as she could throw it, and flinging herself on the comforta- .' ble old sofa, broke into a floud of bitter tears the first she hud bhed during i her msrried life. I "How could he have dune it! Oh t what have Isuid Oh, John, John!" The bird twittered in his lit Ue cage J nver iu the viudow auioii' the plant. Belly ii iiji tTi'-'ed liko a tla-h how .lolin ', .o,d she bUi tilled the seed cup tuul very morning; how he had laughed when she tried to put it in between the bars, and when she couldn't lrach. without getting upon a chair he took her in his grout arms nd held her up, junt liko a child, that Pho might fix it to suit herself. And tho "bits'- he had said in his tender way, they had gono down to the depths of her foolish little heart, sending her shout her work singing for very gladness of spirit. And now I Betty stuffed her fingers hard into her rose ears to shut out the bird's chirping. "If ho only knew why I sighed," she moaned. "Oh, my husband! Birth- (Inn. rrk?iinr .-Sll inl.A ,1 (T now. Ob, why can't 1 die?" I. 1T 1 l. ... J n i , I iuiijlj aiio Binvou inere, croucneu ilown on the old sofa, she never knew. ver and over tho dreadful sceno she went, realizing Us worst features each line in despair, until a voico out in the itchensaid: "Betty I" and heavy foot- alls proclaimed that some one was on Uje point of breaking in upon her unin vited. . l'ietty sprang up, choking back her sobj, and tried with all her might to compose herself and remove all traces of her trouble. The visitor was tho worst possible one she coinld have under tho circumstance. Crowding herself on terms of the closest intimacy with the pretty bride, who with her husband, had moved into the village a twelve-month previous, Miss Elvira Siamocs had made the very most of her topport unities, and by dint of making great parade over helping her in some domestic work such as house-cleaning, dress making find the like, the maiden lady had managed to ply her other voca tion, that of news-gatherer at one and the same time, pretty effectually. She always called her by the first name, though Betty resented it: and she made a great handle of her friendship on every occasion, making John rage violently and vow a thousand times the "old maid" should walk. But bhe never had and now, scenting dimly, like a carion after .its own prey, that trouble might come to the pretty little white house, tho make-mischief had como to do her work; if devastation had not already commenced. "Been crying I" she said, more plainly than politely, sinking down into the pretty chintz-covered rocking-chair with an energy that showed that she meant to stay, and made the chair creak fearfully. "Only folks do say that you and your husband don't live happy but la 1 1 wouldn't mind I know toin't your fault." Betty's heart stood still. ITad it come to this? John and she not live, happy I To be sure they didn't, as she remem bered with a pang the dreadful scene of words and hot tempers; but had it got ten around so soon a story in every body's mouth? With all her distress of mind she was saved from opening her mouth. So Miss Simmons, failing in that was forced to go on. An' I tell folks so," she said, rock ing herself back and forth to witness the eifect of her words, "when they git to talkin'; so you can't blamo mo if- things don't go easv for you, I'm sure!" "You tell folks?" repeated Betty, vaguely, and standing quite still. "What? I don't understand." "Why, that the blamo is all his'n," cried the old maid, exasperated at her strango mood and her dullness. "I say says f. why there couldn't no one live with him, let aloue that pretty wife he's got. That's what I say, Betty. And then I tell 'cm what a queer man he is, how cross, an " "And you dare to tell people such things of my husband?" cried Betty, drawing herself up to her extremest height, and towering so over the old woman in the chair that she jumped in confusion at the storm she had raised, and stared blindly into tho blazing eyes and faco rosy with righteous indignation her only thought was how to get away from the storm she had raised but could not stop. But she was forced to stay, fdV Betty stood just iu front of the chair and blocked U4) tho way, so she slunk bask into tho smallest corner of it and took it as best she could. "My husband 1" cried Betty, dwelling with pride on the pronoun at least, if they were to part, she would sav it over lovingly as much as sho could till the last moment; and then, when the time did come, why, people should know that it was John's fault "the best, the kind est, the noblest husband that ever was given to a woman. I've made him more troublo than you can guess; my hot temper has vexed him I've been crosj, and impatient and " "Hold!" cried a voice, "you're talking against my wife!" and in a moment big John l'eabody rushed through the door, grasped the little woman in his arms and folded her to his heart, right before old maid and all. "Oh!" said Miss Simmons, sitting up straight and setting her spectacles more firmly. "And now that you've learned all that you can," said John, turning around to her, still holding Betty, "why you may go." The chair was vacant. A dissolving view through tho door was all that was to rc seen of tho gossip, who started up the road hurriedly, leaving peace behind. "Betty," said John, some half hour afterward, "what was the sigh for? I don't care now, but I did think, dear, aud it cut rne to the heart, how you might have married richer. I longed to put ten times ten into your hand, Betty, and it gailed me because I couldn't." Betty smiled and twisted away from his grasp, ltunuing into the bedroom che presently returned, still smiling, with a bundle rolled up in a clean towel. This she put on Axct husband's knee, who stared at heawonderingly. "I didn't Inean," the said, uppinning this bundle.' "to get it out now, but J ulull have to. hy, -John, ilay alter tomorrow is your birthday. ' ..' "So 'tis," said John. "Gracious! has it come around so soon?" "And you, dear boy," said Betty, shaking out before his eye a pretty, brown affair, all edged with silk of the bl;n'st shade, that presently assumod the proportions of a dressing gown; "this is to be your present. But you must be dreadfully surprised, John, when you get it, for oh, I didn't want you to know it!" John made an answer he thought best. When he spoke again he said, perplexed, while a small pucker of bewilderment settled between his eyes: "But I don't sec, Betty, what this thing," laying one finger on the gown, "had to do with the sigh." "That," said Betty, and then sho broke into a merry laugh, that got so mixed up with the dimples and the dan cing brown eyes that for a moment she couldn't finish. "Oh, John, I was wor rying so over thorse buttons. They wern't good, but tney were tho best 1 could do then. And I'd only bought 'em yesterday. Two whole doien. And you put that $10 bill in my hand, I didn't hardly know it, but I suppose I did give one little bit of a sigh, for I was so provoked that I had not waited buying them until to-day." John caught up tho little woman, dressing gown and all. I don't think they have ever quarreled since at least I have never heard of it. The "Tree "Puzzle." The "tree puzzle'f that follows is ono of the most ingenious trifles of the kind now current: 1. What's the social tree, . 'i. And the dancing tree, 3. And the tree that is nearest the sea 4. The dandiest tree, 5. And the kissablo tree, 0. And the tree where ships may be? 7. What's the tell-tale tree, S. And the traitor's tree, 0. And the tree that's the warmest clad? 10. The Languishing tree, 11. The cbronologist's tree, 13. And the tree that makes one sad? 13. What's the emulous tree, 14. The industrious tree, 15. And the tree that never will stand still? 1(5. The unhealthiest tree, 17. The Egyptian-plague tree, 18. And the tree neither up nor down hill? 19. The contemptible tree, 20. Tho most yielding tree, 2L And the tree that bears a curse? 2'i. The reddish brown tree, 23. The reddish blue tree, 24. And the treelike an Irish nurse? 25. What is the tree. That makes each townsman flee? 20. And what round itself doth entwine? 27. What's the housewife's tree, 2. And the fisherman's tree; 23. What by cockneys is turned into wine? 30. What's tho tree that got up, 31. And the tree that was lazy, 33. And the treo that guides ships togoforthl XI The tree that's immortal, 34. Tin) trees that are not. Si And the tree whose wood faces the north? 30. The tree In a bottle, 37. The tree in a fog, 33. And what each must become ere he's old? 3'.t. The tree of the people, 40. The traveler's tree, 41. And the sad tree when schoolmasters hold? 12. What's the tree that has passed through the tiery heat, 43. That half-given to doctors when ill? 4i. The tree that we offer to friends whan we meet, 45. And the tree we may use as a quill? 4(3. What's the tree that in death will benight you, 47. And the tree that your wants will sup ply? And the tree that to travel invite you, 49. And the tree that forbids you to diet 43. SWERS. ( Pear. (Tea, Hop. Beooh. Spruce. 1 Tulip. 1 Yew. Bay. Peach. Judas. Fir. Fine. Date. W eeping-vrillow. Ivy. Spindle-tree. C'aper. tSycamore. Locust. Plane. Medlar. I India-rubber. I Sago palm. i Fig. 1 Damson. Chestnut. Lilac. Honeysuckle. 25. Citron. 20. Woodbine. 27. Broom. liS. Baaswood. 29. Vine. 30. 81. Hose. ( Hatiuwood. 1 Aloe. (H)elm. Artxir-vitaa. 82. 83. 'AA TWAWIwld 35. Southernwood. 30. 3. llork. j Smoke-tree. I UazeL Klder. Poplar. Way faring-tree. Birch. Ash. Coifee. 1'alm. Astien. 40. Deadly night- snaue. 47. Breadfruit. 4S. (J range. 4U. Olive. Great Salt Lake and the Bead Sea. Great Salt Lake is a shallow body of water, its average depth being a little more than three feet, while in many parts it is much less. The water is transparent, but excessively salt; it contains about twenty-two per cent, ot common salt, slightly mixed with other salts, and form ing one of the purest and most concen tiated brines in the world. Its specific gravity is 1.17. The water w so buoyant that a man may float in it at full length upon his back, having his head and neck, his legs to jjtho knees, und both arms to the elbow, entirely out of-water. If he assumes a sitting posture, with his arms extended, his shoulders will rise above the water. Swimming, however, is difficult, as the lower limbs tend to rise above the surface, and the brine is so strong that to swallow even a very little of it will cause strangulation. The wators of the Dead Sea, on the other hand, are nearly black, and contain much sulphur and bitumen, as well as salt. It is also very deep, varying from thirteen feet near thevtsouth end of the lake to more then B,300 feet in the northern part. Its 1 loyanoy is quite equal to that of the 1 iieat Salt Lake, for travelers say that a iim can float prone upon the surface for hours without danger of sink ing, aud iuj a fitting position is bld bieast biyb. ) above the" water. hdcr- REMEDIES FOR INSOMNIA. asvics rem Burrrwitas f &OM SLEEPLESSNESS. Hair IMllowa to) be Preferred to FeiMlicr. Various method f Cooling the Ilrnln. When I was a student, says a writer in the New York Sun, I suffered much from sleeplessness, nnd, after trying many remedies, I hit upon this one: I dis carded my feather pillow for one of hair. The effect was wonderful. 1 slept soundly tho whole of the first night, and have never since, except when feverish, been ?o wakeful as I usually was before. Al though feathers are excellent for prevent ing tho dispersion of the heat of the body, so much fault has been found with feather beds that they have quite gener ally gone out of use, and it is strange that feather pillows have not been sent after them. Feathers in pillows are open to tho same objections as feathers in beds, ana even their chief virtue, that of keep ing up a high temperature, is a defect in a pillow; certainly when one half of the head is' kept at blood . heat by being buried in feathers and the other half is exposed to the air, both halves cannot bo at the most favorable temperature. A hair pil low docs not get warmed up to an un comfortable degree, because it rapidly conducts away the heat imparted to it by the head. Since hair pillows are not yet in common use, it might he supposed that a person accustomed to the use of one would either have to take it with him every time he was to be away from home for a few nights, or suffer consid erable inconvenience. But fortunately hair bosters are more common, and if the pillow is thrown-aside tho bolster will raise tho head probably as high as is good for the sleeper. If a hair bolster is lacking, the end of the mattress may be raised high enough to make a com fortable head rest by putting the pillow under it. lit According to most, but not all, medi cal writers, wakefulness and mental ac tivity depend on the circulation of a large quantity of blood through the brain, and the flow of blood must be lessened before sleep can come on. I have obtained special benefit from drawing the blood to the muscles by means of a brisk walk or a quarter to half an hour's vigorous performance of light gymnastics just before going to bed. The majority of cases of r'-cp-lessness occur among persons who use their muscles but little, and for very many taking more exercise is the best remedy. Sleep can sometimes be brought on by simply warming the body, especially the feet; the drowsiness caused by sitting iu a warm room is an instance. The blood may be drawn to the skin by a cold shower or sponge bath, followed by rubbing with a coarse towel. Getting out of bed for a feiv minutes when the air is Cool will often bring re lief. I have lain awake half the eight und then, after being up long enough to mix and drink a lemonade, have fallen asleep at once on going back to bed. Perhaps the lemonade should have part of the credit. On hot summer nights a cold bath will reduce the bodily temper ature so as to admit of sleep. If the skin is not wiped quite dry, the evapor ating moisture will incrsase the cooling effect. A light lunch just, before going to bed relieves the brain by drawing the blood to the stomach, and, the inclina tion to dose after a meal is explainable in this way. Diminishing tho cerebral circulation by compression of the carotid arteries is advised by some physicians. Lying on tho back witn a doubled piljow placed against the back of the neck so as to tip the head forward will effect this, and Dr. J. L. Corning has invented an instrument in the form of a coilar for the same purpose. In view of what has .been said about circulation of the blood, coldness of the feet is a natural accompaniment of sleeplessness, and ono means of cure may be made to serve both ends. Bathing the feet in h.ot water is such a means, but after a few hours a reaction is liable to set in, which will send the blood from the feet to the bead and cause the sleeper to awake. It is better to take advantage of the reaction which follows a cold foot-bath with vigorous rubbing of the feet, both in the water and with the towel. The stimulus thus given to the circulation in tho feet will be more Cermancut. I have found walking just efore bedtime beneficial, and when I do not wish to go outdoors 1 raise my self sharply on my toes to the full stretch fifty or more times. A paragraph has recently been in circulation to the effect Unit a continuous low noise favors sleep; the sound of water dropping on a brass pan has been prescribed by a physician with good effect. The explanation seems to be that a simple monotonous impression quiets the brain by occupying it to the exclusion of more varied" and interesting, and therefore stimulating, impressions. On the sumo principle are the devices of counting forward or backward, imagining sheep jumping one by one through a gap, etc. ; but they are open to the objection of causing one portion of the brain to be exerted in order to control the rest of it. if tho hygienic measures which have been described fail to induce sleep, probably some form of disease stands in tho way, and a physician should be em ployed to discover aud remove it. So porific drugs should be regarded as a last resort, for, unless skilfully used, they produce a stupor rather than a re freshing sleep. Do not take a narcotio r nostrum at random because somebody says it is good to make you sl.xp; one narcotic is injurious where another is beneficial, and the chances are thai you will choose one which will do you more harm than good. I. II t Uutt1 rijjk floors are padded rick will bol be popular with fai men. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. A Georgia inventor has invented a fireproof cotton bagging, the use of which will very much reduce the insur ance rates on cotton. It is called "anti- phlogan," and is said to be cheaper than the jute or gunny-bagging now used. ' To test the purity of water there has been found no better or simpler way than to bit a clean pint bottle three-fourths full of the water to be tested, and dis solve in the water half a teaspoon ful of the purest sugar loaf or granu lated will answer cork the bottle, and place it in a warm place for two days. If in twenty-four to forty-eight hours' the water becomes cloudy or milky it is un fit for domestic use. It has been proved beyond all doubt that waters which circulate or stand in leaden pipes or vessels not only take up particles of lead through mechanical action due to friction, but attacks the metal because of the affinity of several of their constituents, the result being gen erally lead carbonate. Minute quantities ot lead introduced into the system must rank among the factors of anaemia and defective nutrition in largo towns. The ' lectric light is being used to light bakers' ovens. A great difficulty has al ways existed among bakers to get a light into their dark ovens, so that the progress of baking might be observed. Two in candescent lamps, driven by a Victoria Brush machine, are placed inside an oven where the temperature ranges from 400 to 500 degrees Fahrenheit. Tho oven door contains a sheet of plate glass. through which the whole of tho oven is distinctly visible. The baker now never need burn his bread or pastry. Considering its extent, America u better su pplied by the clouds than Europe and Afnca. In the tropics of Wie old world the annual rainfall is about seventy- seven inches, while in tropical South America it is 155 inches. In the eastern United States it is forty to fifty inches; but west of the ono hundredth meridian to Sierra Nevada it is mostly twelveto six teen inches. The annual average of Great Britain is thirty-five inches ; that of France twenty to .twenty-one inches; but about the Alps it is mostly thirty-five to fifty inches. Farther from the coast, in central Germany and Russia, it is only fifteen to twenty inches. The moistest climate known is in India, at Cherrapon gec, where over a small area the yearly full of rain is more than 610 inches, or about fifty-one feet. The process of swallowing food in serpents is painfully slow and somewhat peculiar. For how is an animal without limbs or molars to Bwallow its prey, which is often much larger than its own body? Thus the boa-constrictor seizes the head of its victim with its sharp, re curving teeth, and crushes the body with its overlapping coils, then slightly un coiling and covering the carcass with a slimy mucus, it thrusts the head into its mouth by main force, the mouth stretch ing marvelously, the skull being loosely put together. One jaw is then unfixed and the teetn withdrawn, ny Deina pushed forward, when they are again fastened farther back on the animal. The other jaw is then protruded, and then re fastened, and thus, by successive move ments, the prey is slowly and spirally drawn into the gullet. Fighting in the Desert The manoeuvres of the British in the desert preparing for the enemy, are thus described by Cameron : "Continually does the column halt, .dismount and prepare to meet the enemy, and bn these occasions there is always a race between the mounted infantry and guard regiments as to who shall be first in square. The formation finally adopted Is this: Square. Camels kneel ing and tied by the Kquare. "Thus an enemy charging cannot get in among the camels without being en filaded' by one or other face of tho squares." Proud to Call Himselfa United States Funuer . Senator Williams, of Kentucky, is proud to call himteli a farmer, and lie thinks there is no higher, honorable call ing, lie is a stanch friend of the agri culturists, and during his term haa done vigorous battlo for every measure that has come before tho Senate for their benefit or relief, lie says: "After nil, give me the country raised boy. Tho boy who runs barefooted and stubs the nails off his toes and gets stone bruises on his heels grows up in the simple, un affected ways of life which make him tho better man." Washington tSfur. In married life there shiiild be sym pathy companionship. The husband aud wife should be true friends ami comrades, without a (bought of getting the better of each other. They should join hands at tho altar with the idea of being made one. There can be no true love where the thought of mystery enters the mind. You may find ecsiatic joy in the drejun .f hope, but it takes money to go to market, CUirago Ltdyer. DISAPPOINTMENT. Ky tree of life In springtime promised weTl, The buds of faith and hope were full and fair; The blossoms with rich fragrance filled tho air, Making my pathway sweeter where they fell The fruit appeared; I watched its growth with care; Dark clouds of doubt and fear hung o'er my tree; "Your fruit's In danger," oft was said to me; That it might live to ripen was my prayer. In autumn time, my frnitege gathered in, Perfect it seemed, and to myself I said; "How poor the fruit when faith aud hope aro dead I Mine has escaped the withering blight of sin." At longth the fruit I tasted, and I found, Forgetting works, I now must bear tho pain; That I had watched and waited long in vain; What looked so fair was bitter and unsound If I could live again my past lifo o'er, It should be one of earnost work and love; And He who plants the tree then from above Would bless the fruit; I should need nothing more. ' ' H. CHayden. HUMOR OF THE DAY. The sack is an appropriate coat for a rejected lover. lLUchet. No matter whether bonnets havo little birds on them or not, tho amount of bill is always the samo. "Papa's pants will soon fit brother," is the first lino of a new song, and yet it is said there is no literary or musical genius in this country. Bohemian. "Pickled walnuts are introduce! at dinner now," says an exchange. When ever you are introduced to a pickled walnut its not etiquette to shake hands, I believe. Brooklyn Tinm. Among the Esquimaux you can buy a seal-skin sack for two iron hoops and a ten-penny nail ; but then it takes a seal skin sack to buy a ten-penny nail and two iron hoops. JVTst York Keiti. A young man gazed at his mother-in-law's two trunks in the hall, and sadly remarked: "She has brought her clothes to a visit, would that she had brought her visit to a close." Drake's Magazine. " Use your fork, Johnnie! Have you forgotten so soon what I told you about using your fingers?" "Well, mamma, fingers were made before forks." "Yes, they were; but not your fingers, my son." We believe in giving every man a chance in this world, but a man in tho act of sucking an egg which an old hen set on four weeks last summer, should be speedily told of his rashness. Three States. ."" Tie one asks: "Is it dangerous to eat uv going to sleep?" We think not. We have heard frequently ot per sons doing that. But if you are afraid to risk it perhaps you had better eat af ter you go to sleep. I'itUburg Demorrat. "Are you going to the party this even ing, Ma'ud?" "No. I guess not; I'm afraid that horrid Smith girl will bo there." "Oh, no, she won't; she said sho wasn't going." "Why not?" "Be cause she was afraid you w ould be there." Boaton Post. Josh Billings was asked: "How fast does sound travel?" His idea is that iU depends a good deal upon the noise you are talking about. "The sound of a dinner horn, for instance, travels half a mile in a second; while an invitation tew get up in the morning I have known to bo three-quarters of an hour goin' up two pair of stairs, and then uot hev strength enull left to bo heard." VTomen have a happy faculty of utter ing pleasant things of each other. "Why, dear," said one to a friend, "do you know that young Smith and Laura Joues have quarreled, and now a great gulf separates them?" "Yes," replied tho other. "They are in the same position as her ears. A great gulf separates them, too." The worst that it is that Lama's mouth is not so large after ail. Button OazetU. "A pound of jumps!" and I looked in sur prise At little black Rose with hor shining eyes. "A pound of jumps! my mother snid A pound of jumps, and she nodded her head. " But my dear, we've flour, and sugar hi Jumps, t And peanuts, but never a pound of jumps. " With walnuts and chestnuts and corn that pops " "Oh, ohl I forgot! it's a pound of hops! " tt'ide Awake. The Bone Industry. The bono industry of the country is an important one, Tho four feet of an or dinary ox will make a pint of ueatsfoot nil. Not a bone of any uuimal is thrown sway. Many cattle shin bones ore ship- fed to Europe for tho making of knife landles, where they bring $10 per ton. ' Tho thigh bonos are tho most valuable, being worth $30 per ton for cutting into tooth brush handles. The foreleg bones are worth $30 per ton, and are made into collar buttous, parasol handles and jew elry, though sheep's legs are .the staple foi parasol handles. '1 ho water in which the bones aro boiled is reduced to glue, the dust which, comes from sawing the bones is fed to cuttle and poultry, and all bones that cannot be usod as noted, or for bone black, used in refining the sugar we eat, are turned into fertilizers and mado to Lulp enrich the soil. As regards . it ii the story of the pig. Nothing i'. t except the scjueal. J'f.iaUi ..,, ;
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers