T REPUBLICAN try Wcilnondny, by "WENK. ugh & Co.'a Building TIONESTA, Tn. tl.00 per Year. for shorter period RATES OF ADVERTISING. On Bqnare, one Inch, one Insertion f 1 00 One Bqnare, one Inch, one month t no One Square, one Inch, throe months. f o One Square, one inch, one jrar. 10 0C, Two Squares, one year IS Oil (Jnarter Column, one jour 81 en Half Column, one jear 60 il One Column, one yesr loo ti Wil advertisements ten cents per line each In orllon. ' , . Marriage and doath notices gratis. v "' , All bills for yearly advertisements collected nmr. lerly. Temporary aUvertifetncuU must be pala lu advance. .tob work cah on delivery. J. JMiTflM om like om nil nart of lh VOL. IVII. NO. i). ' TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 35. 1885 'ii of nonrnio(i. $1.50 PER ANNUM. est 5 wt. Sheldon-. TART. Tho rain jw sway the ; sweeps the lies its fury nountains of coast is rent nous billows tho vast Meg L .y nestles the rop. It boasts x greenish mi mi tho winds of re steep streets icds of a motin thorougbfarca. 'anglor, an ac f belches forth 's va)or, and it. Tho cra Jil and fifty tho jiur)oscs lino to Luk ; vcrliehes, or oublcd waters f the town nrc ' ".o Crimmerian era; b, of Moorish aspect, like ress, with its w hite walls, .1 terraces calcined by tho igc pile of square stones erl at haphazard. Tho ksliko a cluster of dice, deb have boon worn away peculiar structures may looking building, called from the number of its " front and four behind, cs.. above tho town, the f Saint Phillilene, with through tho open stono en these are swung (as !8) by tho violence of tho 'countcd a bad sign, and iwtL f tlie ,,,noe aro ,,1,cd Jho ,, ' 3CI1, Sucu 8 Luktrop, 'oi-l nouses on tho heath bo- 1 'fin 2(t amid 'ilobronni a: in Brittany. Luktrop, ho i 'iibt in Brittany. Is it in Franc 1-,-.tnot say. In Europe? I do n -',1 :.i i ranccf cot . At any rate it were useless to lock for pla.co on. tho map. ' .,;.'.., Tap, tap? A discreet rap' 13 heard at ;he narrow door of Six-Four on the left hand corner of Messaglierc street. A omfoi table house this, if such a word is inown ns Luktrop, and one of thcthrift est of the place, if to eaca on an average a few thousand fretzers a year bo a sign of thrift. A ferocious yelp, something between a bark and a howl, as from a wolf, has answered tho rap, whereupon a window above tho door of the Six-Four is thrown open. A young girl,- shivering -in tho ruin, with a soiry capo thrown over her ' shoulders, inquires if Dr. Trifulgas is at i homo. v. "lie is or isn't all depends." i "I come for my father, who is dying." '' "And where is he dying?" "By the Vnl-Karnious, four kcrtses from here." - "And what's his name?" . ' "Vort Kartif." "Vort Kartif the cracknel maker." f "Yes; and if Dr. Trifulgas would ),)ly " "Dr. Trifulgas isn't at home!" " ; vuTy'wi"uat)''Vi jiJUvw) U . clpsod in l's fuoo, while this wind and tho side mix their voices in adcafen- 1 limn, Dr. TrifulgaS, with but ling lor t fc iiow creature, and attend-; a patient only if well advance fjr his services, ilis Hurzof - a cross between a bull paniol would have more hea Tho door of tho Six-Four re variably -closed to tho poor and y to 'tnf jfch. Ho has morc- scalu of 'pijces; typhoid fever, ; brain fevv so much; so much arditas and for as many more as doctors choose to inveut by n. And Vort Kartif, the crack ir, is a poor man, with a penniless Why, then, should Dr. Triful levil himself, and on such a "Tho rousing mo from my snuffled he, as ho went to his tin, "is alono worth ten fretzers!" ' minutes had scarce gone by than 1 knocker again woke tho echoes Six-Four, (i rumbling the doctor t of bed, and from tho window d: ho is there?" . " tm Vort Kartif's wife." te cracknel maker from Val Kar t as, and if you don't como he'll All, then, you'll be a widow!" ere are twenty fretzers " Vhat! Twenty fretzers to go to Karuiou, four kertses hence'?' 'or God's sake, come!" ith an oath tho window was. again imed. Twenty fretzers," muttered be; tat an idea. Hun the risk of catch a cold or u lumbago for such a sum, in one has to attend to-morrow lnorii- the gouty but wealthy Kd;;ingov, Kiltrens, whose ailment is worth ti f ty etzeis a visit." , i ' . . "With this pleasant prospect, Dr. Trif ulgas sought his bed and wont to sleep as soundly as ever. Hap, rap, rap ! Throo blows from the knockef, struck with a firm hand, havo this time added their rattle to the noise of the storm. The doctor, sturtled from his sleep, got Up in a towering passion. On opening his window the hurricane came in like a whirlwind. " 'Tls for the cracknel makor " "What, again that wretch?" "I urn his mother." "May his mother, wife and daughter, all die with him!" " 'Tis a tit" "Ay, niid a tight one, 1I0 doubt," chuckled tho doctor, "We havo a litllo money," said tho old woman, "an installment on the old houso sold to Dantrup, tho drayman of Mcs-saglioic street. If you don't come, my grand-daughter will bo without a father, my daught.'r without a husband, and myself without, a son !" . It was honrt-rcmlincr and horrible to "hear tho old hag's voice, and to think that the wind froze tho blood in her veins and drenched tho very bones under her skin. ' "A fit, say you? Tho fee is two hun dred fretzem," rejoined the heartless locch. We have butjofto hundred and twenty. . "(tood-nlght, then!" And once moro tho windows were closed. On second thoughts, however, he came to tho conclusion that, for an hour's trot and half an hour's attendance, one hun dred nnd twenty fretzora made sixty fretzers an hour one fretzora minute! It was small profit at best, but not quite to bo despised. Ho, instead of getting into bed, the doctor slipped himself into his velvet suit, hurried down stairs in a pair of thick water-proof boots, muffled himself up in a largo overcoat, put on his gloves and sou'wester, und, leaving tho lamp lighted on tho table near . his Codex opened at page 197. pushed open tho door of tho 8ix-Four. and appeared on tho threshold. Tho old crone was thero, leaning on a stick, her frame emaciated by eighty years of misery. "Tho money," said ho. "Here; and may God return it a hun-, drod fold !" "God? tho money of God? Has any one seen its color?" Tho doctor whistled Hurzof, put a srimll lantern in tho dog's mouth, and bent his steps toward the sea. The old hag trudged on behind. Good heavens, what weather 1 The bells of Saint l'hiltileue sway to and fro under tho headlong fury of tho storm, an ominous portent, as we know. But Dr. Trifulgas eschews all superstitious no tions. The fact is, he' believes in noth ing at all, not even his own science ex cept for what it brings him in. What wcuthcr, to be suro, and what a road I Nothing but shinglo and slag the shin fele slippery like seaweed, nnd tho slag crisp as clinker. And no other light to see by than a tremulous flicker from Hurzof 'a lantern. At times strange, fan tastic figures seem to toss in the flames that swell from the mouth of the Van glor. There is really no telling what lies at tho bottom of those inscrutable craters. Perhaps tho souls of the under world, that volatilize on reaching our at mosphere. The doctor and the old hag follow the line of coast that runs in und out of the small bays along tho shore. The sea is of a livid whiteness and sparkles as its billows hurtle the phosphorescent fringe of surf that seems to pour wavo on wave of glow-worms upon the beach. Thus both rush on till they reach a bend in the road between two swelling downs, where broom and scu rushes clash their blades together like so many bayo nets. , The dog has drawn nearer to his mas ter, and seems to say : "Well, what think you? A hundred and twenty fretzers to place under lock und key in the safo! That's the way to build up a fortune 1 'Tis another piece of ground added to the vino enclosure! Another dish added to the evening meal 1 Another bowl of food for faithful Hur zof! Nothing like attending rich pa tients nnd looseuing their purse-strings!" At this point tho old woman Btopped. Sho dirocted a finger, which shook liko ago, toward a red light some way oil in tho gloom tho house of Vort Kartif, thd cracknel-maker. "There?" laconically put in the doctor. "Yes," responded the crone. Just then the Vanglor, vibrating to it foundations with a noiso liko thunder, threw up a mass of fuliginous flame, that mounted to the zenith and rent the clouds Doctor Trifulgas was thrown I to the ground by the force ot the con I cussion. liegaining his fooling, he I looked around. The beldam was gone, j Sho must have fallen through some deep crevasse in the ground, or taken flight ! on the iloatiug fog-clouds of ocean. Tho dog, however, was still there, up j right 011 his haunches, his mouth wide open, and the light of the lantern blown ! out. I "Nevermind; let's go on," mumbled Doctor Trifulgas. Tho honest man had pocketed the 0110 hundred and twenty fretzers, and must needs earn them. A solitary light is alone visible in tho distance half a kertse away. It is, doubt less, the lamp of tht dying, or, perchance, dead man, and yonder must bo the ccuckncl-maker's house. There can be no mistake, tho old hagv pointed it out. And, so saying, with the noise of the storm iu his ears, Dr. Trifulgas hurried on toward the hou-e, which, standing alone in tho midst of a wide heath, is more distinctly perceptible u-i the way farer approaches. It is a singular and noteworthy fact to observe how much the houso of tho cracknel-maker looks liko the doctor'a Six-Four, at Luktrop; thore is tho same nrrnngnmcnt in tho front windows, and the little vaulted doorot the side. Doc tor Trifulgas strides on as fast as the driving gustBof wind and rain will per mit, lie reaches the door, which is ajar, pushes It open, enters, and the blast closes it behind him with a bang. The dog outside howls, or is silent, by turns. How very strange! One might almost be led to suppose that Dr. Trifulgas had come back to his own houso. But this cannot be. He took no wrong turning on the road, nor did ho lose his way. No, ho is certainly at Val-Karniou, and not at. Luktrop. Yet how comes it his eye dwells on tho same low, vaulted corridor, the same winding staircase and the same massive wooden railing, hand worn liko hi3 own? He ' ascends and stops on tho landing. A faint light comes from under the door, ' as at tho Six-Four. Is it a snaro or a delusion? By the weak glimmer of the lamp ho vaguely recognizes his own room there the yef low sofa; there, on tho right, thoi'iSli oaken chest; and there, on the left the iron-girt safo, in which ho had thought of placing his ono hundred and twenty fretzers. Y'onder is his arm-chair with its leather tassels, his table with its con voluted legs, and upon it, by tho flicker ing lamp, Ins own Codex, open at page "What nils me?" murmurs the doctor. What nils thee? Why. thou art palsied with fright. Thy eyeballs start ' from their sockets. Thy body contracts and dwindles in size. An icy sweat chills thy skin, on which nameless horrors seem to creep. . Quick, or the lamp, for want ( f oil, will go cut, and the sick.man die. Ay, the bed is there his own, with its pil lows and ba'dachiu a bed as long as it is broad, and the closed curtains with their large inwrought flowers. Can this indeed bo tho bed of a poor cracknel maker' Trembling, the doctor draws near, pulls the curtains aside, and peers within. There, outstretched ou his dying bed, lies tho sick man, with his head outsido the counterpane nnd motionless,like one about to breatho his last. The doctor bends forwar:d Ah! what ghastly scream is that which rends the air, nnd is taken up by the dog outsido with his sinister howl ing? It is not Vort Kartif, the crack-nol-maker, who is tho dying man, but ho, tho doctor, Dr. Trifulgas himself ! ho who is smitten down with brain fever he, and no other. Full well ho knows tho symptoms. . It is cerebral apoplexy, with sudden accumulation of serosity in tho cavities of the brain, nnd partial paralysis of the body on the side opposite that where tho lesion exists. Ay, it was for him assistance was be sought, that one hundred, that one hun dred and twenty fretzers were paid ! Ho who, in the hardness of his heart, had refused to attend tho poor cracknel maker! It is he now that is dying. Dr. Trifulgas raved like a maniac. The symptoms increased every minute. Not only ware all the functions of rela tion dead in him, but the beatings of his heart were nearly gone, like the breath of his lungs. Yet he had not lost all consciousness of his desperate strait. AVhnt shall he do? Diminish the mass of tho blood by bleeding ? There must be no hesitation, or Dr. Trifulgas is a dead man. Phle botomy was still practiced in Volsinia, and there, ns here, the doctors rescued, from apoplexy all those who were not to die from its effects. Dr. Trifulgas seized his case of instru ments, took his lancet, and punctured veins on his duplicate self. No blood, however, spurted from the wound. Ho rubbed with all his might tho chest of the dying one, but he found that the pul sations of his own heart diminished; he burnt the other's feet with hot bricks, but felt his own feet growing cold. Suddenly his duplicato starts up in his bed, struggles wildly in the last throes of suspended breathing, a rattle is heard in his throat, nnd Dr. Trifulgas, with all his science, falls back dead in his own arms. Tho following morning a corpse was found in the house known as the Six Four that of Dr. Trifulgas. Ho was placed in a coflin and conveyed, in great pomp, to the cemetery of Luktrop, after tho manner of tho many ho had already sent there. As for old Hurzof, I urn told tho faith ful beast may still be seen, with his lan tern reliphted, scouring tho heath and howling for his lost master. If this be true or not, I cannot say. Yet so many strange things do occur in this Volsinian country, especially round about Luktrop that I sec no reason to doubt the state ment. At any rate, let mo ask of you once moro not to look for this town of Luktrop ou tho map. Tho best geo graphers are still uncertain as to its exact position in latitude and even longitude. J'ari Figaro, translated fur The Argonaut. Fond of Ornaments. All the people in Ceylon, from the babes "feeling their feet" to old mon and women, their steps tottering on tho brink of the grave, wear gold and silver ornaments. They even invent new places for carrying them, and it is no uncom mon thing to seo a Cingalese belle with tho tops of her ears covered with gold plato or wire, a large pair of rings pen dant from the lobes of tho ear, a gold or silver circlet around hur hair, her nose adorned with rings, bracelets on her wrists, rings on her lingers and silver plates on her toes. The Bank of Fruuco has an invisible studio in a gallery behind the cashiers, so that ut a signal from one of them any Mspected customer will instantly have his picture tnkeii without his own kuowlcdge. TRYING TO KIDE-A CALF. MSS. MULKITTLE'S YOTJHG HOVE TVIt GETS A rALI. And UN ."violiior llai it Fntllntr Out Willi Mwicr Caroline l'attrrwon A int Spoiled. Mrs. Mulkittlc had promised tho boy that if he would be good, he might ac company her on a visit to a friend in tho country. The youngster remembered the promise; nnd sometimes nt night when ho said his prayeiw, he would in terpolate the protocol of "Now I lay me down to sleep," nnd throw in a few suggestions of reminder concerning tho visit. When the day arrived, Mrs. Mul kitt'.o decided that tho boy had been good. Tho excitement of a buggy ride, tho objects of interest along tho road a rabbit jumping among the briars and a squirrel that crossed the road and ran up a tree, made him shout in merriment. Sister Caroline Patterson, whom they visited, was delighted to seo them, and her son Avery, when he saw young Mul kittle, took a "duck fit," as his mother expressed it. "Now, Willie," said the anxious moth er, you must not go near tho horses." ."Nome." "And you muit not go down to tho creek." "Nome." "Come on, Bill," shentcd Avery. "Y'ouAveryl" said Mrs. Patterson. "Well, why don't ho come on?" "Because his mother is talking to him." "Don't go in tho mud," continued Mrs. Mulkittlc. "I ain't." "There now, run alon and be a "ood boy." " The two youngsters went out to the lot. "That's a fine calf," said Mulkittlc. "Y'ou bet he is," Patterson replied. "Wish I had thought about it and brought my saddle. Wo would ride him." "Who ever heard tell of anybody ridin' a calf!" "They might not ride town calves, but a calf like this here is better than a boss. Don't need n saddle, only its easier. Don't need a bridle, either. Want to ride him around tho lot a time or two?" "No, not this time. Wait till I come next time." "Ho, you nre afraid, that's what." "No, I ain't." ' 'Yrcs, you aro afraid. Bet your lifo if I waster to como to town an' vou waster tell me that I was afraid to ride anything, I'd hop on him too quick. You wouldn't do to live in the country. You haven't got the sand. You are a coward, that's what." "No, I ain't a coward. I rode a hoss by myself." "Apybody can do that. Ho, a baby can ride a hoss." "Well, if I had a bridle an' saddle I'd ride him." "What do you want with a bridle an' saddle? That's tho way girls ride. Do you want to ride like a girl?" "Girls rido sideways, but I don't. "Come on here 'an let's drive him up in the fence corner. Come up. Y'ou needn't ride him unless you want to. I ain't beggin' you to do it." The calf, a lazy looking thing, was easily driven into the fence corner. Pat terson went up to him and began to stroke his head. "Git around, thore, Bill, an' climb on tho fence. Now don't you see how putty you could throw your leg over him. I wish I had a boy hero that wasn't a coward. I believe you aro a girl anv how." "I ain't a girl!" indignantly replied the visitor. "How can I git 0:1 him when he won't keep still?" "Now he's still. There, I knowed you was afraid." Mulkittle, still hesitating, stood with one foot on tho fence nnd with the other on the calf's back. "Why don't now you got him ! Hold him! Whoop!" The calf lowered his head and with a "ba-r-r," darted across tho lot. Mul kittle yelled, and the next moment his mother emerged from tho house. Just before she reached tho lot, tho calf threw tho youncrster. With a shriek tho fright ened mother ran to, him. Ho was not hurt, having falling on a pile of leaves, but his mother seized him in her arms and carried him in the house. "Why did you get on that calf; say?" "Av-Av-Avery made me." "Didn't do any such a thing, maw. He said that if he had a saddle he would rido him, an' I said that ho couldn't if ho had a saddle, an' ho said he could rido him anyhow, an' when the calf went in the corner he climbed on the fence an' I tried to pull him olf and ho jumped on the calf and " Y'oung Mulkittlc could stand it no lon ger. Springing from his mother's sido, ho struck Avery in the face, seized hiin by the hair, jerked him down between a trunk and the wall and before the excited women couli drag him away, he had kicked Avery and blooded his faco. When tho boys had been separated the women drew themselves up aad looked at each ether. "Don't you aiy a word to me!" said Mrs. Patterson. "Oh, don't be alarmed," Mrs. Mulkit tle replied. "I have no desire to talk to a woman who has such a son. Tried to kill my poor child with a calf." "My son is not a murderer, and yours is," snapped Mrs. Patterson. "If you don't liko that Mr. Patterson will settle it with your husband." "Oh, my husband, like my sou, is quite enough to settle any of tho Patter sons. Good day, madam, bowing with mocking grace. "1 shall never eater your house again, and when you como to town to spend a few days, as you often do, I hope you will remember that we are n I keeping house merely for the ac conuuii l.'ilion of country clod-hoppers. Good-d.ij', madam." Arkansaw Traveler, SEUX'T SIFTIXGS. Many pianists now have tho extensor muscles of tho ring finger cut for superioi freedom. Tho present emperor of Russia is ono of the strongest men in his empire of herculean individuals. Tho oldest parrot inhabitant is owned by Dr. Bowman, of Mauch Chunk, Pa. The bird Is seventy-five, buas spry as ever and a good talker. The large Uomim tnail is still eaten by Continental epicures, and called a great delicacy. They nre raised in snail houses nnd fed on common white paper. An Englishman declares that soot is useful in absorbing the germs of disease and in preventing the spread of epi demics by its diffusion of carbon and sulphur. A huge lemon was recently picked at Panasoiiee, Fla. It measured twenty four inches in circumference ono way, twenty-two inches the other and weighed four pounds, thirteen ounces. The juice of the curious ink-plant of New Grenada requircs.no preparation before being used for writing. Tho cclor is reddish when first applied to paper, but soon becomes a deep- black, which is very durrble. The ink is now used for public records and documents. Crocodile farms are becoming common. Tho largest animals are killed and skinned, their flesh being used to feed their hungry descendants. That these breeding places are of no mean dimen sions is shown by the fact that the own ers of one of them supplied a tanner at St. Louis during the current year with no less than 5,000 alligator skins. Tho "Tulcb.au" was an artifico em ployed by tho milkmaids of North Eng land and Scotland, some hundreds of years ago, in order to obtain tho milk from new milch ojws. It was a calf skin, stuffed out to resemble a calf, with head bent forward. This rude similitudo of a calf was brought out at milking time, and while tho cow stood quietly gazing around nt the supposed calf bo side her, the nrtful milkmaid on the other side was securing tho milk which the unsuspecting cow was reserving for her calf. The "Tulchan" is long since obsolete. A fish found nowhere else in the world is tho golden trout of Kern River, California. Its flesh is hard nnd sweet, bat it is noted particularly for the beau tiful color which flakes its sides, looking as though they had been submitted to a coating of gold foil. The Inyo Independ ent says: "This peculiarity of color and their distinct species is preserved by a natural barrier existing between them and the other varieties which are found in this creek. A series of high and rocky falls prevent other fish from ascending and mingling with them, and so, from generation to generation, they have, by a natural barrier, been able to preserve their distinct character. At times some of them have descend ed into the lower course of the stream, and a mixed tribe, combining the speckled and golden trout, has been formed, individuals of which are often caught." Russians and Serfs. Dr. A. Wright, in his "Adventures in Servia," tells this story : Snvrimovitchf MouraviotT, and I were silently smoking under the shelter of our hut, when a bul let whistled between us and passed out through tho leafy wall behind. Wo started to our feet and rushed outside. A number f soldiers v.ero standing or sitting about engaged in cleaning their rifles, cooking, etc. Mouravioff de manded furiously who had fired the shot. A heavy; stupid-looking fellow was pointed out as the culprit, whereupon our friend strode up to him, and seizing him by the collar, asked him sternly what ho meant by discharging a loaded rifle in cainp. The soldier sulkily an swered that he had only tired his piece in the air, and did not know there was any harm in that, whereupon tho rough-and-ready Mouravioil replied: "Idiot! Don't you know that when you send a bullet into the air it is likely to como down again, like this?" and striking bun 011 tho head with his clenched fist knocked him over. This severe treat ment caused some murmuring among tho soldiers, who were already begin ning to tire of Russian discipline. A sinster rumor that m;iny Russian ollicers had been treacherously slain in battle by some of their own men whoso ill-will they had incurred was current in camp, and it was undoubtedly true that Rus sian oflicers frequently treated tho Serv ians with great harbhness, but consider ing the rawness and inaptitude of the material they had to deal with and tho absolute necessity of enforcing dis cipline, I do not think that the kicks and cuffs that 1 often saw them bestow upon their men were unmerited. Again, although tho uuwailiko Sorbs murmured at being dragooned into discipline they seemed very soon to regain their equan imity. They are naturally too good na tured and easy-going a race to bo vin dictive, ud therefore I believe that the heavy losses among the Russians were due to their reckless valor and not to Servian treachery. Nevertheless, many Russians 1 met (irmly believed this rumor in spite of the indignant denial given Oi it by the Servians. The largest mat In tho world covers tho circus ring in tho Covent Garden theatre. It is made of unbleached co coanu'. fiber, and has a soft pile four iuches '.hick. A covv at Moline, 111., got drunk oil distillery grains and made an interest ing display of cornod beef. Chiajijo Hun. THE SONO OF THE GOSSIP. One old maid, And another old maid, And another old mAid that's thre And they were gossiping, Fia afraid, As they sat sipping their tea. They talked of this, And they talked of that ; In tho tisunl gosiipinj way, Until every one was as black as your hat, And the only white ones were they. One old maid, And nnother old maid, For the third bad gone into the street Who talked in a way of that third old maid Which would never do' to repeat. And now but one "Dame sat alone, For the others were both away, "I have never yet met," she said with a groan, "Such scandalous talkars tis thoy." Alas 1 and alack ! We're all of a pack 1 For no matter how we walk, Or what folks say to our face or back' It's sure to breed gossip and talk. Harper's Young People. IID3I0R OF THE DAY. A great way a dog's tail. A rolling mill a rough nnd tumb prize fight. Uoslon Star. A musical journal tells how violin practicing may bo enjoyed. By becom ing deaf, we presume. "Thero is no place like your home," says tho poet. Right 1 unless it's th home of the youug woman you're after. Marriage promotes longevity among men notwithstanding its tendency to produce premature baldness. BoUn Courier. - The camel is tho only bird we yearn to hear warble, after listening to a man learning to play the violin. Fall liier Advance. A Cincinnati editor claims to havr seen a petrified girl. She probably din covered tnat some rival belie had a bon net exactly like hers. Pearl necklaces are down so cheap this year that a tine one can be bought for $12,000. Everything seems to favor the poor man. Free Press. "The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness," remarks a philosopher. This is particularly tho case if your enemy happens to be larger than. you are. Tho dress-coat is generally- worn by tho groom at tho city wedding; "but for the elopement," says the' Boston 'Transcript, "there's nothing like the cut away." President Arthur goes out of the Whito House with a deep, dark secret in his bosom. No man knows who sews on Mr. Arthi' a suspender buttons. Courier-Jou "Wheu will your mistress return?" asked the caller informed that madam was out. "Can't say, sir," said James. "When she sends me down to say she's out, I can never be sure." Everything in its place A patch on the face is thought to enhance one's beauty, but a patch on the panta loons of tho small boy is an ever-present mortification. Boston Transcript. . An article in a New England paper' is headed, "How to Reach YouiurMcn." The father of several marriageab!; daugh ters in this city havo adopted the plan of reaching them with their' boots. Puck. ' 'Tis sweet to sit bythe banyan tree, And play on the sounted lutes; And feel the wasps, so joyous and frea, As they play hiilu and seek iu your booU. liorUaiii Mountaineer. London proposes to hold a world's fair a couple of years henco. It is safe to predict that the managers will not clamor for Philadelphia's old liberty bell to place on exhibition. Korristown Her ald. He had hired a new servant when ho went down to tho ollico in the morning, and ou his return home at night asked: "Well, dear, is tho new girl going all right?" "Going? Sho went two hours ago," was tho prompt answer. Boston Post- What Is lifo but wishing? What is life but sorrowf What is lilo but wuiting For to-morrow? Thus waileth he, grief burdened, Heart-broken, lone ami Kid; Thus wuilth he who's lust his Liver pad. Jfcrcha n t- Traveler. The First Newspaper Illustration. According to a bo6k on tho subject just published in London, it appears that the effort to illustrate important or special current events was much earlier made than many aro aware. The first attempt to illustrate the news of the day seems to have been made in 1007, when a tract on "Woeful News from Wales" curiously illustrated a flood that occurred in Monmouthshire. Another tract, iu the same year, pic tures floods in Somersetshire and York shire. There were others, in 1013 and 10i;5, illustrating among other things tho burning of 'liveiton and "The Won ders of the Windio Winter." Favorite subjects with thoso carlv woodcutters were murders, battles and floods, with now und then a supernatural flight, whether of ghost or meteor. There wero some very good cuts iu 1011 and Hit!), ono or two being accounted worthy the pages of a modern illustrated paper. Tho first paper that attempted (egulurly to illustrate features of its news was the Mcreitrtiis CicL'tir, published in London during the civil war. War maps were published as early as 1701, wheu the London 'it gave an outline drawing of the scat of war in Italy; in l?4i, tlie Jhibiiu J'Ki'-'tiil give a plan of the battle of Colloden.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers