---- I . x - - - v X - v u j..v j - I ' - , r tear. " RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Square, one inch, on ineertlon II One Sqrmie, ee Inch, ana moath One Square, ene Inch, three rrionthr One H'.nare, on Inch, one year Two Bqnarea, one year Quarter Column, one year ' Half Column, one year r- f Out tolnrnnione year w " legal Dotlcei at eUb!lFhcd rate Mnrrlajre and death notlcea gratia. All bill for yearly derter-n.cnte collected quar ter y. Temporary advertisements mutt be pm in advance. Job work caab on dellvary. VOL. XVII. HO. 33. TIOKESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 3. 1881. $1.50 PER ANNUM. VifiiHlllliTllilH V AK '? V MB 1 I 7 I U I i j"-ti of the t block-haired : vv. ! . vs," he said, '," he said, Xime past; af these anus vf cast. sj-y now, 1st. !i t he tree; .1 the) ripe, full : 'Mow." coat for Mm ; low. crime again, . and moat 4 lay, i-vt, t with play i !v raid ti rum; . lixlcptrv- OltY. Ithig ia i !to was W est that .'. of express f couches i ii jhe sig i i he engine 'iv el out of i ious load, n over tho f '. iio power i euly u little tart to give . which, she i burthen be- ' F , was ..' through the cordially, barely ul" held out for . ,li a promise to c a cigar," be went viii, luntera on one ;p" on either side. ' hiotigh and fast train ry few stops would be ii ouly nt important niir friend returned, and i omfortubly by our side ','Hun, lit a Havana. ii very heavy train to '...t 's worse, we will be de- nt Aurora by a freight following ti8,bu't' as she -, we won't be near her en some bad nccidents "v ii,ur loug experience on "' we queried. T never was in sny bad :. ive always been fortu- had many narrow es- wrecks, the worst one : i.iit which occurred at .ii) yeari ugo. You see, :iijd Ko.a, going west, i t there. Both trains A were running .i, Tho operator 1 I'jvi'i The order and Tiler for a freight ifM standing thereto i .sumo unaccountable '!nw pot the orders i -No. 5 reuehed Ty- to run on east, while ill held at Tyrone! on the road, and the "loceiitly obeyed the ;- they shot into tho .:. ah. .. y earue tearing down v mile or two from Ty- mshing on to meet '. I a terrible wreck! ;-r'afed from view.the ' -i Lis mistake. But it "" stood helpless for a mo I with horror. Then instrument, telegraphed j iieadijuartcrs: ;i and U have met in a terriblo !irt grade east of here. Send i, u'joiis!' h is a mighty crash shook the With an agoni. ing shriek the v :k to the floor senseless, was an awful wreck. Many .ik1 wounded. It was pitiful i'..i,r victims cry, and some lu jiut out of their misery, v. -nit any wrecks! And we c one now, for our road is vi went escape I ever had was ..::' years ago. 1 tie road was ..il l 1 was running a passenger West. It was a dreary, rainy, .; it) March. We had a )rettv i, i.uil were making good time t- I MtiJition of the rood, lni'lir, i a Btornf came ou, :i i-.lA j 1-mv : g-Cnt . ' ,-aA .v!l!';' I'll ,. ;ud was terrible. 15ut i-ng through it, though uiieusintsa autous; the 1, to till tho tri'tlh, I v tl.cr s ife myself. J! i lies lioui II we i;i ('till, vmih v ay beycuil ii 4tun,aj.UiIli'..iitiUiil i sweet. ( creek, but it was regarded as being per fectly safe. The wind was now blowing a gale, it had turned cold, and snow whs now mixed with the pouring rain. But on we Hew, and I trusted to Providence that all would ba well. "I had just snuggled down in a heap to hnve a short nap, when I was brought to my feet in an instant by tho frantic shriek of the engine, nnd the pounding snd the groan ng of the car-wheels on the track as the brakes held them fait. There was trouble ahead. And we were nearing that bridge! Looking out of the window Ahead in the distance, I saw a huge bonfire pn the track, the flames of which lit up the surroundings vividly. Tho train enmo to a halt, nnd within ten feet of the engine, and on tho very brink of an abyss, roared the hugo beacon fire. Tho bridge had gono down. "Hut who built the fire and kept it bnrning, was tho question. Ah, that was easily learned, for there, standing in the storm and the cold, whs a woman, clasping in hi r arms a babe, and about her clung three shivering children. The passengers bad crowded upon the scene ere this, and many a hand was out stretched to lead the heroic woman and her little ones in a place of warmth and safety in tho train. ' "There she told her story. . She lived in a poor shanty only a short distance from the bridge, and had heard it go down with a crash into the rushiug waters. Knowing our train would soon be due, she built the fire on the track to warn us. Having no fuel of her own, and failing to find any, she bad piled her bed-clothes in a heap, lighted them, and kept the fire burning by feeding it with what scanty furniture her house con tained. She told us with a sob that baby's cradle had gone to keep the beacon light burn ing. 'About that time everybody was blubbering.' I think one or two of the ladies were praying and crying. But that didn't last long. One big, red faced old man just took oS his hat, a tall stove pipe, and went through the train In a manner that would have done credit to any well organized gang of train-robbers only Iho pns-tengers crowded up to him with their valuables. They showered gold, silver and paper money into that hut until it was full, Some gave a fif ; y, others more, some- less, and oue old fel low put in his check and then wiped his eyes and blew his nose. Oh, they gave her an ovat ion. - It was a heroic act, and one that no loubt saved mnny lives." "How i,iiu:hwas collected" we asked, with mercenary curiosity, as the train whistled for Aurora. "Well, sir, I don't remember the exact amount, but enough to buy baby a cradle that would grace tho little homo which the rest of the money purchased". H aA ington Hatchet. A Scandinavian Sunday. Sunday came, and it was very pretty to see, on the ovening-before nnd early in the morning, the boats streaming up tho fiord and down from the inland lakes. One boat passed tho ynclit, rowed by ten young stalwart women,, who handled their oars like Saltash lishwives. With a population so scattered, a single priest has two or more churches to at tend to at considerable distances. pastors being appointed according to the num bers of the flock, and not the area which they occupy. Thus nt Elversdalo there was a regular service only on alternate Sundays, and this Sunday it was not Elvers'dalc'a turn. But there was a sanding a gathering for catechising and prayer at our bonder's house, where tho good man himself or some itinerant min ister otticiated. Several hundreds must have collected, tho children in largest proportion. The Norse people are quiet, old-fitshior.ed Lutherans, who never read a newspaper, and have never heard of a doubt about the truth of what their fathers believed. When the meeting was over, as manv of them as were curious to see tho English yacht, and its occu pants came on board. The owner wel comed the elders at the gangway, talked to them in their own tongue, und showed them over the ship. A had hand fulls of sugar plums for the little one. They were plain featured, for tho most part, with fair hair aud blue eyes the men in strong homespun broadcloth, the women in blactc serge, with a bright sash about the waist, and a shawl over the thoulders, with bits of modest embroidery at the corners. They were perfectly well behaved, rational, simple, unseif-con-cious, a healthy race in tuiad and body, whom it was pleasant to see. I could well understand what Americans mean when they say that, of all the colonists who migrate to them, the Norse are the best and many go. Norway is as full as it can hold, and the young swarms who iu old days roved out in their pirate ships over Trance and England and Ire land now pass peaceably to tho Far West. Froudejn Longman t Magazine. Why Hair Suddenly Turns White. It is said that the hair and beard oi the Duke of Brunswick whitened iu twenty-four hours upon hearing that his father had been mortally wounded in the battle of Aucrstudt. Mario Antoinette, the unfortunato Queen of Louis XVI., found her huir suddenly changed by her trouble;, and a similar change happened to Charles I. whenho attempted toescajie from Carisbrooke Castle. Mr. Timhs, iu his "Doctors and Patients," says that "chemists have discovered thut hair con tains au oil, a mucous substance, iron, oxide of manganese, phosphate and carbonate of iron, flint, aud a large pro portion of sulphur. White huh' contains also phosphate of in:i-7lieia. und it oil is ueaily colorless. When hair becomes bitdi'uly w hite from terror it is probably oiug so the sulphur absorbing the oil, un.iu.ltii jnytj t iou f J '"" woo to WHERE WATER IS PRIZED. IT3 VAST VAIAB OH THH SABS3 OF ABABiA. Oltnor tike Moat Trrrlble rpiaorln In Modern HUt irr Keloid A Horrible Story of t'lirnajte. The Soudan campaign, from first to last, has been a comment on the vast value of water in . the East. One of the most terrible episodes ever recorded in history is the flight of the Torgote Tartars from the Russian frontiers to those of China, .about a century ago. Throughout this awful journey across the pathless, waterless desert the Bash kirs nnd Khirghises followed on the heels of tho flying Kalmucks, and the con tinuous trail of corpses told a fearful story of unceasing conflict and perpetual massacre. Tho dosperate persistence of tho csenning hosts in pushing on was equalod by the frenzied cruelty of those who pursued them, until the s ones of carnage and brutality that ensued were such that it seemed as "if a nation of madmen were flying before a notion of tiends." But the horrible climax wos only reached at the end of their 2,000 miles of disastrous pilgrimage, when, after a Jossof 400,000 of their number, the Kal mucks, mad from thirst,' came in sight of tho lake of Tengis. Hundreds of the pursuers and pursued .had already lost their reason from their dreadful suffer ings. Thousands were being borne along upon camels and horses, helplessly ex hausted by two days' waut of water. But ns soon as the lake came in view of the Bashkirs and Kalmucks alike seemed to foriret their pitiless hatreds, and the vast hosts, reduced now to about 200,000, rushed in a body with frantic eagerness to the anticipated solace. In De Quin cey's pages tho story is told with con summate tragic force. The Chinese em peror, happening with a force of cavalry to be ut the very spot, saw what was happoning, and sent out soldiers to pro tect his returning subjects. But there was time enough, before the horsemen reached the scone for one of tho most fe rocious conflicts ever recorded n gainst man.. In the general rush toward tho saving water all discipline and command wore lost all attempts to preserve a rearguard neglected the wild Bashkirs rushed in among the encumbered people and slaughtered them by wholesale, and a most without resistance. Screams and tumultuous shouts proclaimed the pro gress of the massacre ; but none heeded, none halted all alike, with faces black ened by tho heat and with tongues droopiog from the mouth, continued with maniacal hasto toward the lake. The Bashkir was affected by the same misery as the wretched Kalmuck, nnd into tho lako the whole vast bodies ot enemies rushed, forgetful of all things but one instinct. The absorption of their thoughts in ono maddening appetite lusted for a single half-hoipr, but in the next arose a final scene of parting ven geance. Far and wide tho waters of the solitary lake were instantly dyed red with blood. Here rode a party of savage Bashkirs hewing off heads as fast as the swathes fall before the mower's scythe; thero stood unarmed Kalmucks in a death grapple with their detested foes, both up to their middle in water. Every moiuent the lake grew moro polluted, and yet every moment fresh hosts came up to the water and rushed in, not able to resist their frantic thirst,and swallow ing large draughts visibly contaminated with slaughter. Wherever the lake was shallow enough to allow of men raising their heads above tho surface there, for scores of acres, were to bo seen all forms of ghastly fear, of agonizing struggle, of spasm and death revenge and the lun acy of revenge until tho martial spec tators, of whom there were not a lew, averted their eyes with horror as they rode down to tho lake to the rescue of tho hapless fugitives. Every desert bears witness against it self in the warning skeletons of man and beast whicH lie scattered up and down its surfaoos Alt tho poetry of the nations who live upon the frontiers of these piti less wnstes ga.hers round the spring and the well. It was at the Wells of Teb and of T&manicb that the Arabs fought their fiercest. To abandon tho spring is significant of loss of country. A civil ized race would rally for its last struggle round its capital; tho Arab reserves his most desperate courage for tho conflict round tho water. The sand i the Arab's ocean, the oases are his ports, und with all the accuracy of ships' courses they steer their way over tho tiackkss wastes. To be betrayed from the straight line by a mirage, or driven from it by attack of enemies, or delayed upon the road by sand storms, may, as iu tho case of a ves sel at sea, compel tho voyager to make for some other port than thut which ho had started. But tho sun or the stars aro always there, and for the rest what better compass does tho Bedouin ask than his camel's aunzing power of scent? Tho dromedary's nose is a needle that never needs readjustment. No accidental at tractions make it unfaithful to its duty, A feurful peril attaches, nevertheless, to any serious deviation, from the shortest route; for even theso har dened "children of tho desert" find the passage from one spring to tho next as much us their power of endurance can bear, and arc accustomed to time them so exactly thut as often as not they arrive ut their journey's eud w ith water-bottle and strength alike exhausted. After days of solitude and utter silent travel ing perpetually iu a centre of an un-' broken circle of blistering sand, tha re lief of green palm fronds, of human voices, of rest, must he such a rupture m almost to indemnify the Arab for all the drawbacks of his hard life; und no wonder thut tha word "water" is the darling of uil his luiiiruage. Jiiatas in the far West men buy and b !i witter claims us if they were i:iues iu f ail work, i,i.. Mtat J1(lt v the stock that graze, upon them, or the Harvests gainercu irorn mem. out Dy me water-rights that "go with them, so in these oriental countries of desert and torrid sun, clans measure their wealth by the flow of water within their bound aries, and the importance of all grounds by the amount of irrigating power in volved in tho issue. Every stream might be a Pactolus, so precious is it; every pool a Bethesda, so great is its virtues. To compass tho wonder-working thing, all energies, whether of Indi vidual or of community, aro fiercely cm ployed ; and prized above all that Arabs possess S the tribal right of access to a certain spring, or the privilege of en campment by a special well. The Farmer and the Editor. "Seems to me you don't have nothin' to do," said a farmer, walking into the sanctum of the editor, the other d'oy. "Well I have worked on a farm a good deal of my life, and I regard editing a so called humorous paper as hurder work than plowing corn," the editor re plied. "Oh, shucks!" exclaimed the farmer; "If I didn't have nothin' to do but sit around and write a little, and shear a good deal, I tell ye I'd be bavin' a mighty easy time." "I'll tell you what I'll do," said the editor, "I'll plow corn a day for you, U you'll write two columns to-day fot me." "Done," cried the farmer. "And I'll bet you ten dollars you can't write two columns to day for me." "Done agin. An' I'll bet yer ten dol ars more yer can't plow as much as yer ortcr." "I take you." the editor replied. "What am I to write about?" "Oh, anything, so it's funny. Remem ber, now, Mr. Farmer, you are to do the writing yourseL'. Tho matter must be strictly original." vr i!' ,. rr VAUnr n.,1 Never mind me Mr. Editor But look ye. You have got ter do a good job o' corn plowin'. Do it jest like 1 would." "All right." The editor went to tho farm and set a good hand whom he had hired on the way at work plowing corn. Tho fdrmet wrote a hend-line whicn read: "Killin' tater-bugs," before the editor was out of hearing. In the evening the editor came into his sanctum blithe and cheerful. The farmer sat at the desk, vexed and worried into anger. "How do you feel?" asked the editor. "Used up. Hardest day's work I over done, an' two lines ter show fer it." Sure enough he was but one line be yond the head -line. That line read: "Killin' tater-bugs is funny." "Then I've won the wager." "Yes, but I reckon I've won t'other un." "No, sir! I have won both. I have plowed several acres of corn, and done it well, and I've written my two columns besides." 'Creation! How'd ye do it?" "Just like you would. I hired a man to do the plowing, and I sat in the shade; but I wrote while I sdt there, aud did not sleep as you do. Fork over the twenty." The farmer paid twenty dollars for his information, but tho lesson was well learned, and as he went out he said: "Stranger, I would not be an editor if I could. It looks mighty easy, but, by Jerusalem, it ain't near so easy as settin' in tho shade, an' watchin' ther hands plowin' corn. I am a fool, an' yer can say so in yer next paper, if yer want to." And thut is why we write it. Through Mail. Barbarities in Old Russia. Of the barbaric features of the old Rus sia out of which Peter sprang the tor tures attending judicial processes were the most marked, says the Quarterly Ite tiew. His father was considered unus ually mild and gentle for a czar, aud, in deed, had been named "the most debo nair;" but even under his reign thero were fifty official executioners in Moscow, whose hands were incessantly red with their ghastly functions. Every judicial investigation involved the infliction of horrible tortures all round tort ure of sus pected persons to extorc confession; tor ture of witnesses supposed to know more than they revealed; torture of criminuls to forco them to betray their accom plices. Sometimes it was inflicted by the al ternate stroke of rods wielded by a cou- ilo of executioneis, who kept time in tammering away at the back of the pros trate victim as smiths are accustomed to hammer at an anvil; sometimes by tho horrible flail-like knout, which cut a deep furrow at every stroke, till tho back as ribbed and crossed from top to Lot- sometimes bv the continued drnn. w torn; sometimes by the continued droo ping of boiling water on the top of the head after it had been shaved; some times by roasting the nuked back of the accused over a tire, above which he wus suspended horizontally by a woodeii spit. Hauging and decapitation were the most common methods of inflicting capital punishment, when their work had not already beeu done iu the torture-ebum-ber; but suspension from hooks through the flesh, breaking alive ou tho wheel, aud impalement on stakes were by no means unfrequeut. Even private indivi duals enjoyed a largo freedom to torture and kill their serfs and dependents, of which ample advantage was taken; and as lute as the regency of Bophiu, Peter's half-sister, a special edict was required to deprive creditors of the right to make perpetuul slaves of insolvent debtors.aud even to maim and kill them at their pleasure. A man iu Kansas conceived the notion of removing he tombstones from hi family plot to Ihe roof of Lis house! where they stuu'l m a row cf tXauu Lka iidafciitt" scveu RESCUED FROM THE GRAVE WOHDBftFUX, 8rSTntSECTIOW POflB APFAHEW TI.T DEAD. OF A Woman and n Child Snntln;lr llrnj ivtevtored to 'onri(inon Nome Valuable Sn jarestlon. The Washington Star prints the fol lowing letter: My attention has beeu called to an article contained in your publication entitled "A Wonderful LUesurrection," quoted from the Lon don Jxincel, relative to , the case of a woman fifty-three years old who was found hanging eight min utes after sho hud been last seen alive, suspended by a cord which encircled her neck. When cut down the latest known appliances failed to indicate the slight est spark of life. The physician in at tendance, however, resolved to try slow artificial respiratory action. In the course of ten minutes application of such action the faintest signs of return ing lifo were observed by means of a stethoscope. The work was continued incessantly for two hours befote natural breathing was sufficiently established to dispense with the artificial means. Apropos of the need ol steadfast and hopeful perseverance in efforts to restore those who have apparently lo?t their lives by strangulation which tlTis lesson teaches I desire to relate an incident of my own experience. While engaged in conversation with relatives, whom I was visiting a year ogo, I was abruptly interrupted by the startling information that the little five-year-old daughter of the next door neighbor had fallen into a cistern, con taining rain water, and been drowned. Hurriedly proceeding to the spot I learned that the body was still lying in the water. As soon as possible it was gotten out and la d face Howard on the i crround. with the hands fixed lv extended 1 beyond the head, then with my hands j erted a continuous pressure on the chest in imitation of slow breathing mo tion. The feet were immediately bared a id a large cloth, dipped in boiling hot water, was held to the soles. I about twenty minutes from the com mencement of the restorative action we ware rewarded by seeing tho little one breathing uaturally, ahd in a few days she was playing around as well as ever. On a comparison of notes it was dis covered by the closest calculation that the child must have been iu. the water, which was three feet in depth, at least five minutes. When taken out the body was cold- and rigid, the eyes set, the face of a deathly pallor, and, so far as ordi nary signs indicated, resuscitation was apparently an impossibility. . In view of the surprising success at tained in the case of the womun, by means of artificial respiratory action only, would it be unreasonable to pre sume that if the blood had been 'forced to circulate by the application of heut, as in the case of the child, that she might have been resuscitated id less than two hours? The result of suffocation is a sus pension of respiration. Taking for granted, as a matter of course in all such cases, that the condition of the heart is normal, can any one say positively that asphyxia of even thirty minutes duration might not be overcome? The possibility of resuscitation in va rious cases of sudden apparent dissolu tion, resulting from other causes than those mentioned, is well worthy of seri ous contemplation, in view of instances constantly occurring of perrons having been buried alive through ignorance of the attendants concerning prompt and proper action. In any event, what harm can result from a practicul application of the remedies suggested? Birds and Wires. Animals great and small have ways of avoiding danger to which their ancestors i have been exposed. Jiut when a new J danger arises, they do not know how to ' meet it. Telegraph and telephone wires are a deadly peril to birds which haunt cities and other places where the wires are numerous. A few generations hence wires will be as harmless to birds as trees are now. In the following extract it is the wires which suffer, owing to tho size of tho bird : According to the Brazilian (Jermania of Rio de .Janeiro, the telephone wires in that city have found a formidable enemy in the "assgeier," a large bird of tho vulture species a kind of John Crow ' which, flying very low as it passes over the tops of the houses in scavenging the streets, hits the wires and breaks them, or else becomes entangled. Good wire is very expensive in Brazil, In consequence of the damage done by these birds, tho telephouo people are con,l'Flled 4? ke,;i UP ft la-ge force of men for repairs. No sooner are the wires mended in one part of the city than re port comes of interruption in another part, owing to the operations of tho assgeier. It is against the law to kill these birds, and as a result they increase very rapidly in number. The I'rovinoia. too, says that nothing positively remedial can be done ut pres ent. The telephonists must wuit until the bira learns by experience that it will enjoy more cisoiiul comfort by flying higher. There aro iu this country 11 St. Pauls, 20 Bridgeiorts,18 Buffalosand Newarks, 17 Brooklyn, Clevelunds, and Roches ters, 16 Hartfords, 13 Louisvilles, I'i Bostons and Pittsburgs, 8 Ciuciiiimtis and Philadelphias, 8 Chicagoet, 7 Do troits, 5 Milwuukees aud St. Louises, SJ Washington, und 2 New Yorks und Bal timore. New Orleans and ban rraucis io are not duplicated. A standard rusn, said to have been phvited by Churlemaiigc, J0"0 years Hgo, isV'ie of the great curiosities in ih J Ml!t vity of HiidBfcheiui, Hanover. THE CLOSING TT EAR. Blmt to the lattice; make It fast; The wind has turned austere and eoldj And, borne open the funeral blast, The first dead leafs poor corpse behold. Last month the land was gemmed wfJSf shea vex, And clothed In multitudinous green; Now, shivering under waning leaves, The furrows gape, the forests lean. The year's warm life, tho honest son, Is swooning: more and more we see The silent landscape's skeleton, Tbs woodland's grim anatomy. Turn to the town, Its crowded time, Its fading hopes, its arts and cheats, Dooeit and grasping, hate and crimei, Tho heartless gloom of cnil t.nU There is no path but terrors haunt, Desire is still the door to sm ; Without you hear the curse of want, Possession's sated yawn, within. Condoles us not Contentment's priest Who nods by Hope's eternal grave; Day springs not in his dawnloss east, -Life ceases when we cease to crave. Honors aud riches will not count, Nor Lore, for all his rapturous toys; On things of sense the wise will mount A ladder of exhausted joys; The few who reach the summit sphere Report fair fields a glad surprise For those who hear with chastened car And watered groves of Paradise; Rising in mist the enchanted streams Flow under trees that bloom and bend; Clean floods that shine in fairy beams, Without a burden, bar or eud. Ah, stream of life! ah, ningic light! Dreamed of by these, enjoyed by those And somewhere in t'ae infinite The tideless Ocean of Repose, ' A. G. Keen. i f IIUJIOK OP THE DAT. A morning call "Get up I" A well fed waiter is not necessarily fed on water. . v Why do old maids wear mittens! To keep oil the chaps. Live cattle ure exported to England now. 'They go in the oteerage, of course. "How shall I sleep?" asks a correspond ent. Without snoring, and on your own side of the bed. "My bow is all unstrung," warbles '. a fair poetess. Wonder if her beau had been out on a racket. Burlington Frm I've. A roan without any bones is now being exhibited through New Jersey. He is probably a tired base bill umpire. Chi cago Hun. An exchange asks "How to remove paint." Wo have found that a coat sleeve will take a good deal of it off. New York Mail and .'.qrcss. In Uruguay there has not been a busi uess failure for two years and a half. Who would have thought of looking in Uruguuy for big advertisers? An uptown man recently dislocated his jaw by yawning. His wife wss proba bly telling him what sho had bought that day while shopping. Aeio Turk Journal. A Milwaukee girl married a bald headed man, and her lady friends are wandering how sho manage! to make him stand around. Burlington MYt There was a sweet damsel numed A blue, Who was stroking her treacherous tabbie. When the cut, without cause, beratchtxl the maid with her clause, In a way that was dreadtutly shubbie. ISostun tolio. A California farmer has had to pay a fine of $10 for knocking his hired man down with a bunch of grupes weighing ten pounds. It was cheaper than hunt ing around for a rock. Detroit Frea 1'iess. American trumps will bo pleased to learn that the English custom of eating five meals in a day is being introduced into this country. The news may not bs so grateful to the farmer's r' Otry, hof' ever. - A'orrLtown Herald. "Hopes and regrets ure tho sweetest links ot existence," said a sentimental wife to. her husband. "Yes, dear," he replied, "I had hopes of letting you have M for a new bonnet, but 1 regie t to Bay 1 can't do it just ut present." MercJtaiU T rattler. "M . Siinpkins," said Johnnyto his sister's beau, "plduso open your mouth." "Why do you want me to open my mouth. Y" " 'C'nuso 1 heard sister say you had a mouth like a whale, and I wanted too see what a whale's mouth looked like." Tableau. "Y'es, sir," said the entomologist, "I can tame flics so that wheu 1 whistle they will come and alight ou my head." "Pshaw 1" said the bald-headed man, "thiit's nothing. They como and alight on my head without my whistling." Tho entomologist sat down. tSomertUU Jour lutl. A boy was asked which was the greaU-r evil, hurting another's feelings or his linger. "The feelings," ho said. "Bight, my dear child, said the gratified ques tioner; "and why is it worse to hurt the feelings?1' "Because you cun't tie a rag around thein, " answered tho child. l'onkert MuUnman. tub lover's kkhlv. 'Oh, tell me where is Fancy bred:" Klio asked, and, pelting iMur, Khe laid her dur.iiu hulo hoad Miht dowu upou uiy ahoulder. And I, with no more poi-try iu .My soul than in a 0ukvr'k, KepUrd, with iiUolio Kim, 'You'll iind it at thv l.ukt.-1'V" Ltlitr (J. lUgas. Only one seventh of tho inhabit tut of th'i 10.(Jl.'ll,OiiU"'mrxt miles over wLh'h B.'ihuu'f ia triumph uio Chia4 V n i ' j .A
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers