----
I . x - - -
v
X - v u j..v
j - I ' - ,
r tear. "
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One Square, one inch, on ineertlon II
One Sqrmie, ee Inch, ana moath
One Square, ene Inch, three rrionthr
One H'.nare, on Inch, one year
Two Bqnarea, one year
Quarter Column, one year '
Half Column, one year r- f
Out tolnrnnione year w "
legal Dotlcei at eUb!lFhcd rate
Mnrrlajre and death notlcea gratia.
All bill for yearly derter-n.cnte collected quar
ter y. Temporary advertisements mutt be pm in
advance.
Job work caab on dellvary.
VOL. XVII. HO. 33.
TIOKESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 3. 1881.
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
VifiiHlllliTllilH
V AK '?
V MB 1 I 7 I U I
i j"-ti of the
t
block-haired
: vv.
! . vs," he said,
'," he said,
Xime past;
af these anus
vf cast.
sj-y now,
1st.
!i t he tree;
.1 the) ripe, full
: 'Mow."
coat for Mm
; low.
crime again,
. and moat 4
lay,
i-vt,
t with play
i !v raid
ti rum;
. lixlcptrv-
OltY.
Ithig ia
i !to was
W est that
.'. of express
f couches
i ii jhe sig
i i he engine
'iv el out of
i ious load,
n over tho
f '. iio power
i euly u little
tart to give
. which, she
i burthen be-
' F , was
..' through the
cordially, barely
ul" held out for
. ,li a promise to
c a cigar," be went
viii, luntera on one
;p" on either side.
' hiotigh and fast train
ry few stops would be
ii ouly nt important
niir friend returned, and
i omfortubly by our side
','Hun, lit a Havana.
ii very heavy train to
'...t 's worse, we will be de-
nt Aurora by a freight
following ti8,bu't' as she
-, we won't be near her
en some bad nccidents
"v ii,ur loug experience on
"' we queried.
T never was in sny bad
:. ive always been fortu-
had many narrow es-
wrecks, the worst one
: i.iit which occurred at
.ii) yeari ugo. You see,
:iijd Ko.a, going west,
i t there. Both trains
A were running
.i, Tho operator
1 I'jvi'i The order and
Tiler for a freight
ifM standing thereto
i .sumo unaccountable
'!nw pot the orders
i -No. 5 reuehed Ty-
to run on east, while
ill held at Tyrone!
on the road, and the
"loceiitly obeyed the
;- they shot into tho
.:. ah.
.. y earue tearing down
v mile or two from Ty-
mshing on to meet
'. I a terrible wreck!
;-r'afed from view.the
' -i Lis mistake. But it
"" stood helpless for a mo
I with horror. Then
instrument, telegraphed
j iieadijuartcrs:
;i and U have met in a terriblo
!irt grade east of here. Send
i, u'joiis!'
h is a mighty crash shook the
With an agoni. ing shriek the
v :k to the floor senseless,
was an awful wreck. Many
.ik1 wounded. It was pitiful
i'..i,r victims cry, and some
lu jiut out of their misery,
v. -nit any wrecks! And we
c one now, for our road is
vi went escape I ever had was
..::' years ago. 1 tie road was
..il l 1 was running a passenger
West. It was a dreary, rainy,
.; it) March. We had a )rettv
i, i.uil were making good time
t- I MtiJition of the rood,
lni'lir, i a Btornf came ou,
:i i-.lA
j 1-mv :
g-Cnt
. ' ,-aA
.v!l!';'
I'll
,. ;ud was terrible. 15ut
i-ng through it, though
uiieusintsa autous; the
1, to till tho tri'tlh, I
v tl.cr s ife myself.
J! i lies lioui II we
i;i ('till, vmih v ay beycuil
ii 4tun,aj.UiIli'..iitiUiil
i sweet.
(
creek, but it was regarded as being per
fectly safe. The wind was now blowing
a gale, it had turned cold, and snow whs
now mixed with the pouring rain. But
on we Hew, and I trusted to Providence
that all would ba well.
"I had just snuggled down in a heap
to hnve a short nap, when I was brought
to my feet in an instant by tho frantic
shriek of the engine, nnd the pounding
snd the groan ng of the car-wheels on
the track as the brakes held them fait.
There was trouble ahead. And we were
nearing that bridge! Looking out of the
window Ahead in the distance, I saw a
huge bonfire pn the track, the flames of
which lit up the surroundings vividly.
Tho train enmo to a halt, nnd within ten
feet of the engine, and on tho very brink
of an abyss, roared the hugo beacon fire.
Tho bridge had gono down.
"Hut who built the fire and kept it
bnrning, was tho question. Ah, that
was easily learned, for there, standing
in the storm and the cold, whs a woman,
clasping in hi r arms a babe, and about
her clung three shivering children. The
passengers bad crowded upon the scene
ere this, and many a hand was out
stretched to lead the heroic woman and
her little ones in a place of warmth and
safety in tho train. '
"There she told her story. . She lived
in a poor shanty only a short distance
from the bridge, and had heard it go
down with a crash into the rushiug
waters. Knowing our train would soon
be due, she built the fire on the track to
warn us. Having no fuel of her own,
and failing to find any, she bad piled her
bed-clothes in a heap, lighted them, and
kept the fire burning by feeding it with
what scanty furniture her house con
tained. She told us with a sob that baby's cradle
had gone to keep the beacon light burn
ing. 'About that time everybody was
blubbering.' I think one or two of the
ladies were praying and crying. But that
didn't last long. One big, red faced old
man just took oS his hat, a tall stove
pipe, and went through the train In a
manner that would have done credit to
any well organized gang of train-robbers
only Iho pns-tengers crowded up to
him with their valuables. They showered
gold, silver and paper money into that
hut until it was full, Some gave a fif ; y,
others more, some- less, and oue old fel
low put in his check and then wiped his
eyes and blew his nose. Oh, they gave
her an ovat ion. - It was a heroic act, and
one that no loubt saved mnny lives."
"How i,iiu:hwas collected" we asked,
with mercenary curiosity, as the train
whistled for Aurora.
"Well, sir, I don't remember the exact
amount, but enough to buy baby a cradle
that would grace tho little homo which
the rest of the money purchased". H aA
ington Hatchet.
A Scandinavian Sunday.
Sunday came, and it was very pretty
to see, on the ovening-before nnd early
in the morning, the boats streaming up
tho fiord and down from the inland
lakes. One boat passed tho ynclit, rowed
by ten young stalwart women,, who
handled their oars like Saltash lishwives.
With a population so scattered, a single
priest has two or more churches to at
tend to at considerable distances. pastors
being appointed according to the num
bers of the flock, and not the area which
they occupy. Thus nt Elversdalo there
was a regular service only on alternate
Sundays, and this Sunday it was not
Elvers'dalc'a turn. But there was a
sanding a gathering for catechising and
prayer at our bonder's house, where tho
good man himself or some itinerant min
ister otticiated. Several hundreds must
have collected, tho children in largest
proportion. The Norse people are quiet,
old-fitshior.ed Lutherans, who never read
a newspaper, and have never heard of
a doubt about the truth of what their
fathers believed. When the meeting
was over, as manv of them as were curious
to see tho English yacht, and its occu
pants came on board. The owner wel
comed the elders at the gangway, talked
to them in their own tongue, und showed
them over the ship. A had hand
fulls of sugar plums for the little one.
They were plain featured, for tho most
part, with fair hair aud blue eyes the
men in strong homespun broadcloth, the
women in blactc serge, with a bright sash
about the waist, and a shawl over the
thoulders, with bits of modest embroidery
at the corners. They were perfectly well
behaved, rational, simple, unseif-con-cious,
a healthy race in tuiad and body,
whom it was pleasant to see. I could
well understand what Americans mean
when they say that, of all the colonists
who migrate to them, the Norse are the
best and many go. Norway is as full
as it can hold, and the young swarms
who iu old days roved out in their pirate
ships over Trance and England and Ire
land now pass peaceably to tho Far
West. Froudejn Longman t Magazine.
Why Hair Suddenly Turns White.
It is said that the hair and beard oi
the Duke of Brunswick whitened iu
twenty-four hours upon hearing that his
father had been mortally wounded in the
battle of Aucrstudt. Mario Antoinette,
the unfortunato Queen of Louis XVI.,
found her huir suddenly changed by her
trouble;, and a similar change happened
to Charles I. whenho attempted toescajie
from Carisbrooke Castle. Mr. Timhs, iu
his "Doctors and Patients," says that
"chemists have discovered thut hair con
tains au oil, a mucous substance, iron,
oxide of manganese, phosphate and
carbonate of iron, flint, aud a large pro
portion of sulphur. White huh' contains
also phosphate of in:i-7lieia. und it oil is
ueaily colorless. When hair becomes
bitdi'uly w hite from terror it is probably
oiug so the sulphur absorbing the oil,
un.iu.ltii jnytj t iou f J '"" woo to
WHERE WATER IS PRIZED.
IT3 VAST VAIAB OH THH
SABS3 OF ABABiA.
Oltnor tike Moat Trrrlble rpiaorln In
Modern HUt irr Keloid A Horrible
Story of t'lirnajte.
The Soudan campaign, from first to
last, has been a comment on the vast
value of water in . the East. One of the
most terrible episodes ever recorded in
history is the flight of the Torgote
Tartars from the Russian frontiers to
those of China, .about a century ago.
Throughout this awful journey across
the pathless, waterless desert the Bash
kirs nnd Khirghises followed on the heels
of tho flying Kalmucks, and the con
tinuous trail of corpses told a fearful
story of unceasing conflict and perpetual
massacre. Tho dosperate persistence of
tho csenning hosts in pushing on was
equalod by the frenzied cruelty of those
who pursued them, until the s ones of
carnage and brutality that ensued were
such that it seemed as "if a nation of
madmen were flying before a notion of
tiends." But the horrible climax wos
only reached at the end of their 2,000
miles of disastrous pilgrimage, when, after
a Jossof 400,000 of their number, the Kal
mucks, mad from thirst,' came in sight
of tho lake of Tengis. Hundreds of the
pursuers and pursued .had already lost
their reason from their dreadful suffer
ings. Thousands were being borne along
upon camels and horses, helplessly ex
hausted by two days' waut of water.
But ns soon as the lake came in view of
the Bashkirs and Kalmucks alike seemed
to foriret their pitiless hatreds, and the
vast hosts, reduced now to about 200,000,
rushed in a body with frantic eagerness
to the anticipated solace. In De Quin
cey's pages tho story is told with con
summate tragic force. The Chinese em
peror, happening with a force of cavalry
to be ut the very spot, saw what was
happoning, and sent out soldiers to pro
tect his returning subjects. But there
was time enough, before the horsemen
reached the scone for one of tho most fe
rocious conflicts ever recorded n gainst
man.. In the general rush toward tho
saving water all discipline and command
wore lost all attempts to preserve a
rearguard neglected the wild Bashkirs
rushed in among the encumbered people
and slaughtered them by wholesale, and
a most without resistance. Screams and
tumultuous shouts proclaimed the pro
gress of the massacre ; but none heeded,
none halted all alike, with faces black
ened by tho heat and with tongues
droopiog from the mouth, continued
with maniacal hasto toward the
lake. The Bashkir was affected by the
same misery as the wretched Kalmuck,
nnd into tho lako the whole vast bodies
ot enemies rushed, forgetful of all things
but one instinct. The absorption of their
thoughts in ono maddening appetite
lusted for a single half-hoipr, but in the
next arose a final scene of parting ven
geance. Far and wide tho waters of the
solitary lake were instantly dyed red
with blood. Here rode a party of savage
Bashkirs hewing off heads as fast as the
swathes fall before the mower's scythe;
thero stood unarmed Kalmucks in a
death grapple with their detested foes,
both up to their middle in water. Every
moiuent the lake grew moro polluted,
and yet every moment fresh hosts came
up to the water and rushed in, not able
to resist their frantic thirst,and swallow
ing large draughts visibly contaminated
with slaughter. Wherever the lake was
shallow enough to allow of men raising
their heads above tho surface there, for
scores of acres, were to bo seen all forms
of ghastly fear, of agonizing struggle, of
spasm and death revenge and the lun
acy of revenge until tho martial spec
tators, of whom there were not a lew,
averted their eyes with horror as they
rode down to tho lake to the rescue of
tho hapless fugitives.
Every desert bears witness against it
self in the warning skeletons of man and
beast whicH lie scattered up and down
its surfaoos Alt tho poetry of the nations
who live upon the frontiers of these piti
less wnstes ga.hers round the spring and
the well. It was at the Wells of Teb
and of T&manicb that the Arabs fought
their fiercest. To abandon tho spring is
significant of loss of country. A civil
ized race would rally for its last struggle
round its capital; tho Arab reserves his
most desperate courage for tho conflict
round tho water. The sand i the Arab's
ocean, the oases are his ports, und with
all the accuracy of ships' courses they
steer their way over tho tiackkss wastes.
To be betrayed from the straight line by
a mirage, or driven from it by attack of
enemies, or delayed upon the road by
sand storms, may, as iu tho case of a ves
sel at sea, compel tho voyager to make
for some other port than thut which ho
had started. But tho sun or the stars
aro always there, and for the rest what
better compass does tho Bedouin ask than
his camel's aunzing power of scent? Tho
dromedary's nose is a needle that never
needs readjustment. No accidental at
tractions make it unfaithful to its duty,
A feurful peril attaches, nevertheless, to
any serious deviation, from the
shortest route; for even theso har
dened "children of tho desert" find
the passage from one spring to tho next
as much us their power of endurance can
bear, and arc accustomed to time them
so exactly thut as often as not they arrive
ut their journey's eud w ith water-bottle
and strength alike exhausted. After
days of solitude and utter silent travel
ing perpetually iu a centre of an un-'
broken circle of blistering sand, tha re
lief of green palm fronds, of human
voices, of rest, must he such a rupture
m almost to indemnify the Arab for all
the drawbacks of his hard life; und no
wonder thut tha word "water" is the
darling of uil his luiiiruage. Jiiatas in
the far West men buy and b !i witter
claims us if they were i:iues iu f ail work,
i,i.. Mtat J1(lt v
the stock that graze, upon them, or the
Harvests gainercu irorn mem. out Dy me
water-rights that "go with them, so in
these oriental countries of desert and
torrid sun, clans measure their wealth
by the flow of water within their bound
aries, and the importance of all grounds
by the amount of irrigating power in
volved in tho issue. Every stream
might be a Pactolus, so precious is it;
every pool a Bethesda, so great is its
virtues. To compass tho wonder-working
thing, all energies, whether of Indi
vidual or of community, aro fiercely cm
ployed ; and prized above all that Arabs
possess S the tribal right of access to a
certain spring, or the privilege of en
campment by a special well.
The Farmer and the Editor.
"Seems to me you don't have nothin'
to do," said a farmer, walking into the
sanctum of the editor, the other d'oy.
"Well I have worked on a farm a good
deal of my life, and I regard editing a
so called humorous paper as hurder
work than plowing corn," the editor re
plied. "Oh, shucks!" exclaimed the farmer;
"If I didn't have nothin' to do but sit
around and write a little, and shear a
good deal, I tell ye I'd be bavin' a
mighty easy time."
"I'll tell you what I'll do," said the
editor, "I'll plow corn a day for you, U
you'll write two columns to-day fot
me."
"Done," cried the farmer.
"And I'll bet you ten dollars you can't
write two columns to day for me."
"Done agin. An' I'll bet yer ten dol
ars more yer can't plow as much as yer
ortcr."
"I take you." the editor replied.
"What am I to write about?"
"Oh, anything, so it's funny. Remem
ber, now, Mr. Farmer, you are to do the
writing yourseL'. Tho matter must be
strictly original."
vr i!' ,. rr VAUnr n.,1
Never mind me Mr. Editor But
look ye. You have got ter do a good
job o' corn plowin'. Do it jest like 1
would."
"All right."
The editor went to tho farm and set a
good hand whom he had hired on the
way at work plowing corn. Tho fdrmet
wrote a hend-line whicn read: "Killin'
tater-bugs," before the editor was out of
hearing.
In the evening the editor came into his
sanctum blithe and cheerful. The farmer
sat at the desk, vexed and worried into
anger.
"How do you feel?" asked the editor.
"Used up. Hardest day's work I over
done, an' two lines ter show fer it."
Sure enough he was but one line be
yond the head -line. That line read:
"Killin' tater-bugs is funny."
"Then I've won the wager."
"Yes, but I reckon I've won t'other
un."
"No, sir! I have won both. I have
plowed several acres of corn, and done
it well, and I've written my two columns
besides."
'Creation! How'd ye do it?"
"Just like you would. I hired a man
to do the plowing, and I sat in the
shade; but I wrote while I sdt there, aud
did not sleep as you do. Fork over the
twenty."
The farmer paid twenty dollars for his
information, but tho lesson was well
learned, and as he went out he said:
"Stranger, I would not be an editor if I
could. It looks mighty easy, but, by
Jerusalem, it ain't near so easy as settin'
in tho shade, an' watchin' ther hands
plowin' corn. I am a fool, an' yer can
say so in yer next paper, if yer want to."
And thut is why we write it.
Through Mail.
Barbarities in Old Russia.
Of the barbaric features of the old Rus
sia out of which Peter sprang the tor
tures attending judicial processes were
the most marked, says the Quarterly Ite
tiew. His father was considered unus
ually mild and gentle for a czar, aud, in
deed, had been named "the most debo
nair;" but even under his reign thero
were fifty official executioners in Moscow,
whose hands were incessantly red with
their ghastly functions. Every judicial
investigation involved the infliction of
horrible tortures all round tort ure of sus
pected persons to extorc confession; tor
ture of witnesses supposed to know more
than they revealed; torture of criminuls
to forco them to betray their accom
plices. Sometimes it was inflicted by the al
ternate stroke of rods wielded by a cou-
ilo of executioneis, who kept time in
tammering away at the back of the pros
trate victim as smiths are accustomed to
hammer at an anvil; sometimes by tho
horrible flail-like knout, which cut a
deep furrow at every stroke, till tho back
as ribbed and crossed from top to Lot-
sometimes bv the continued drnn.
w
torn; sometimes by the continued droo
ping of boiling water on the top of the
head after it had been shaved; some
times by roasting the nuked back of the
accused over a tire, above which he wus
suspended horizontally by a woodeii spit.
Hauging and decapitation were the most
common methods of inflicting capital
punishment, when their work had not
already beeu done iu the torture-ebum-ber;
but suspension from hooks through
the flesh, breaking alive ou tho wheel,
aud impalement on stakes were by no
means unfrequeut. Even private indivi
duals enjoyed a largo freedom to torture
and kill their serfs and dependents, of
which ample advantage was taken; and
as lute as the regency of Bophiu, Peter's
half-sister, a special edict was required
to deprive creditors of the right to make
perpetuul slaves of insolvent debtors.aud
even to maim and kill them at their
pleasure.
A man iu Kansas conceived the notion
of removing he tombstones from hi
family plot to Ihe roof of Lis house!
where they stuu'l m a row cf
tXauu Lka iidafciitt"
scveu
RESCUED FROM THE GRAVE
WOHDBftFUX, 8rSTntSECTIOW
POflB APFAHEW TI.T DEAD.
OF
A Woman and n Child Snntln;lr
llrnj ivtevtored to 'onri(inon
Nome Valuable Sn jarestlon.
The Washington Star prints the fol
lowing letter: My attention has beeu
called to an article contained in your
publication entitled "A Wonderful
LUesurrection," quoted from the Lon
don Jxincel, relative to , the case
of a woman fifty-three years old
who was found hanging eight min
utes after sho hud been last seen alive,
suspended by a cord which encircled her
neck. When cut down the latest known
appliances failed to indicate the slight
est spark of life. The physician in at
tendance, however, resolved to try slow
artificial respiratory action. In the
course of ten minutes application of
such action the faintest signs of return
ing lifo were observed by means of a
stethoscope. The work was continued
incessantly for two hours befote natural
breathing was sufficiently established to
dispense with the artificial means.
Apropos of the need ol steadfast and
hopeful perseverance in efforts to restore
those who have apparently lo?t their
lives by strangulation which tlTis lesson
teaches I desire to relate an incident of
my own experience.
While engaged in conversation with
relatives, whom I was visiting a year
ogo, I was abruptly interrupted by the
startling information that the little five-year-old
daughter of the next door
neighbor had fallen into a cistern, con
taining rain water, and been drowned.
Hurriedly proceeding to the spot I
learned that the body was still lying in
the water. As soon as possible it was
gotten out and la d face Howard on the
i crround. with the hands fixed lv extended
1 beyond the head, then with my hands
j erted a continuous pressure on the
chest in imitation of slow breathing mo
tion. The feet were immediately bared
a id a large cloth, dipped in boiling
hot water, was held to the soles. I
about twenty minutes from the com
mencement of the restorative action we
ware rewarded by seeing tho little one
breathing uaturally, ahd in a few days
she was playing around as well as ever.
On a comparison of notes it was dis
covered by the closest calculation that
the child must have been iu. the water,
which was three feet in depth, at least
five minutes. When taken out the body
was cold- and rigid, the eyes set, the face
of a deathly pallor, and, so far as ordi
nary signs indicated, resuscitation was
apparently an impossibility. .
In view of the surprising success at
tained in the case of the womun, by
means of artificial respiratory action
only, would it be unreasonable to pre
sume that if the blood had been 'forced
to circulate by the application of heut,
as in the case of the child, that she
might have been resuscitated id less than
two hours?
The result of suffocation is a sus
pension of respiration. Taking for
granted, as a matter of course in all such
cases, that the condition of the heart is
normal, can any one say positively that
asphyxia of even thirty minutes duration
might not be overcome?
The possibility of resuscitation in va
rious cases of sudden apparent dissolu
tion, resulting from other causes than
those mentioned, is well worthy of seri
ous contemplation, in view of instances
constantly occurring of perrons having
been buried alive through ignorance of
the attendants concerning prompt and
proper action. In any event, what harm
can result from a practicul application of
the remedies suggested?
Birds and Wires.
Animals great and small have ways of
avoiding danger to which their ancestors
i have been exposed. Jiut when a new
J danger arises, they do not know how to
' meet it. Telegraph and telephone wires
are a deadly peril to birds which haunt
cities and other places where the wires
are numerous. A few generations hence
wires will be as harmless to birds as
trees are now. In the following extract
it is the wires which suffer, owing to tho
size of tho bird :
According to the Brazilian (Jermania
of Rio de .Janeiro, the telephone wires in
that city have found a formidable enemy
in the "assgeier," a large bird of tho
vulture species a kind of John Crow
' which, flying very low as it passes over
the tops of the houses in scavenging the
streets, hits the wires and breaks them,
or else becomes entangled.
Good wire is very expensive in Brazil,
In consequence of the damage done by
these birds, tho telephouo people are
con,l'Flled 4? ke,;i UP ft la-ge force of
men for repairs. No sooner are the wires
mended in one part of the city than re
port comes of interruption in another
part, owing to the operations of tho
assgeier. It is against the law to kill these
birds, and as a result they increase very
rapidly in number.
The I'rovinoia. too, says that nothing
positively remedial can be done ut pres
ent. The telephonists must wuit until
the bira learns by experience that it will
enjoy more cisoiiul comfort by flying
higher.
There aro iu this country 11 St. Pauls,
20 Bridgeiorts,18 Buffalosand Newarks,
17 Brooklyn, Clevelunds, and Roches
ters, 16 Hartfords, 13 Louisvilles, I'i
Bostons and Pittsburgs, 8 Ciuciiiimtis
and Philadelphias, 8 Chicagoet, 7 Do
troits, 5 Milwuukees aud St. Louises, SJ
Washington, und 2 New Yorks und Bal
timore. New Orleans and ban rraucis
io are not duplicated.
A standard rusn, said to have been
phvited by Churlemaiigc, J0"0 years Hgo,
isV'ie of the great curiosities in ih
J Ml!t vity of HiidBfcheiui, Hanover.
THE CLOSING TT EAR.
Blmt to the lattice; make It fast;
The wind has turned austere and eoldj
And, borne open the funeral blast,
The first dead leafs poor corpse behold.
Last month the land was gemmed wfJSf
shea vex,
And clothed In multitudinous green;
Now, shivering under waning leaves,
The furrows gape, the forests lean.
The year's warm life, tho honest son,
Is swooning: more and more we see
The silent landscape's skeleton,
Tbs woodland's grim anatomy.
Turn to the town, Its crowded time,
Its fading hopes, its arts and cheats,
Dooeit and grasping, hate and crimei,
Tho heartless gloom of cnil t.nU
There is no path but terrors haunt,
Desire is still the door to sm ;
Without you hear the curse of want,
Possession's sated yawn, within.
Condoles us not Contentment's priest
Who nods by Hope's eternal grave;
Day springs not in his dawnloss east, -Life
ceases when we cease to crave.
Honors aud riches will not count,
Nor Lore, for all his rapturous toys;
On things of sense the wise will mount
A ladder of exhausted joys;
The few who reach the summit sphere
Report fair fields a glad surprise
For those who hear with chastened car
And watered groves of Paradise;
Rising in mist the enchanted streams
Flow under trees that bloom and bend;
Clean floods that shine in fairy beams,
Without a burden, bar or eud.
Ah, stream of life! ah, ningic light!
Dreamed of by these, enjoyed by those
And somewhere in t'ae infinite
The tideless Ocean of Repose,
' A. G. Keen.
i
f
IIUJIOK OP THE DAT.
A morning call "Get up I"
A well fed waiter is not necessarily fed
on water. . v
Why do old maids wear mittens! To
keep oil the chaps.
Live cattle ure exported to England
now. 'They go in the oteerage, of course.
"How shall I sleep?" asks a correspond
ent. Without snoring, and on your
own side of the bed.
"My bow is all unstrung," warbles '.
a fair poetess. Wonder if her beau had
been out on a racket. Burlington Frm
I've.
A roan without any bones is now being
exhibited through New Jersey. He is
probably a tired base bill umpire. Chi
cago Hun.
An exchange asks "How to remove
paint." Wo have found that a coat
sleeve will take a good deal of it off.
New York Mail and .'.qrcss.
In Uruguay there has not been a busi
uess failure for two years and a half.
Who would have thought of looking in
Uruguuy for big advertisers?
An uptown man recently dislocated his
jaw by yawning. His wife wss proba
bly telling him what sho had bought that
day while shopping. Aeio Turk Journal.
A Milwaukee girl married a bald
headed man, and her lady friends are
wandering how sho manage! to make
him stand around. Burlington MYt
There was a sweet damsel numed A blue,
Who was stroking her treacherous tabbie.
When the cut, without cause,
beratchtxl the maid with her clause,
In a way that was dreadtutly shubbie.
ISostun tolio.
A California farmer has had to pay a
fine of $10 for knocking his hired man
down with a bunch of grupes weighing
ten pounds. It was cheaper than hunt
ing around for a rock. Detroit Frea
1'iess.
American trumps will bo pleased to
learn that the English custom of eating
five meals in a day is being introduced
into this country. The news may not bs
so grateful to the farmer's r' Otry, hof'
ever. - A'orrLtown Herald.
"Hopes and regrets ure tho sweetest
links ot existence," said a sentimental
wife to. her husband. "Yes, dear," he
replied, "I had hopes of letting you have
M for a new bonnet, but 1 regie t to Bay
1 can't do it just ut present." MercJtaiU
T rattler.
"M . Siinpkins," said Johnnyto his
sister's beau, "plduso open your mouth."
"Why do you want me to open my
mouth. Y" " 'C'nuso 1 heard sister say you
had a mouth like a whale, and I wanted
too see what a whale's mouth looked
like." Tableau.
"Y'es, sir," said the entomologist, "I
can tame flics so that wheu 1 whistle
they will come and alight ou my head."
"Pshaw 1" said the bald-headed man,
"thiit's nothing. They como and alight
on my head without my whistling." Tho
entomologist sat down. tSomertUU Jour
lutl. A boy was asked which was the greaU-r
evil, hurting another's feelings or his
linger. "The feelings," ho said. "Bight,
my dear child, said the gratified ques
tioner; "and why is it worse to hurt the
feelings?1' "Because you cun't tie a rag
around thein, " answered tho child.
l'onkert MuUnman.
tub lover's kkhlv.
'Oh, tell me where is Fancy bred:"
Klio asked, and, pelting iMur,
Khe laid her dur.iiu hulo hoad
Miht dowu upou uiy ahoulder.
And I, with no more poi-try iu
.My soul than in a 0ukvr'k,
KepUrd, with iiUolio Kim,
'You'll iind it at thv l.ukt.-1'V"
Ltlitr (J. lUgas.
Only one seventh of tho inhabit tut of
th'i 10.(Jl.'ll,OiiU"'mrxt miles over wLh'h
B.'ihuu'f ia triumph uio
Chia4
V
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