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No should we II vo Unit every hour May fall ns falls tbo natural flowar, A sulf-reviving thing of power ; That evory thonjjlit nnd every doed Msy luild within Itself a sood Of future good and future need ; Esteeming sorrow, whose employ Is to develop, not destroy, Far bolter thun a bnrren joy. Lord Houghton, UNCLE PAUL'S WIFE. It hnd mined nil day; nnd at night, with the pntno dull, monotonous Round, the rain still fell on tho gravel walk be neath the window, while through tho dark old pines at tho buck of the house vent the continual mournful soughing of :ist wind, i was weary of nil indoor occupations, ; wild not resort to invoctives against veather, for I had no listeners. " iy miclo. Dr. Paul Eastman, hnd gone i n miles through the wind and rain to i-il a patient in the almshouse, a littlo boy whoso life wan nearly ended, and Mrs. Mist man was visiting her friends in a distant State. In an idle, half dreaming mood, I lay on tho sofa iu tho pleasant library to awnit my uncle's coining. The cheerful firelight sending its wnrm bright glow over the geraniums and rosea in tho deep bay window, over the few irtures on the walls and tho well filled onk shelves, banished nil thought of wintry desolation without. Above shuded lamp, on tho littlo study 'do, was a portrait. It had hung there ! many years, the old housekeeper snid. iinnot describe fhnt pictured face, so I'bly, so serenely beautiful. Would you .iy to describe tho look which the ono ou lovo wears for you? Neither will I ry to paint with words that face, which was tho full realization of my thought of I Iioso messengers who como from the un seen world to strengthen nnd bless the weak nnd suffering among mortals. Was alio Uncle Paul's ""first love the 'r if young girl whoso loss has darkened :1 he years of his early manhood? I t l heard something of the gent sorrow liieh had clouded those years, and of no whoso life of beauty had kept her memory fresh in the hearts of many. I bad heard, two, of the tenderness with which Uncle Paul took to his home, which should have been hers, her invalid mother nnd littlo brother, nnd cared for them till tho mother went to join the daughter nnd tho boys were fitted for commercial or professional life. But there w-as a mystery in his life. If he had loved and lost tho ono whose face was pictured there an the canvas how could he ever have given the pluco that would have been hers to the respectable, com monplace person whom I liave known for five years as Mrs. Eastman ? The longer I watchod tho sweet face looking down upon me the greater seemed tho mystery, and so thinking 1 fell asleep. " " A. voice awakened me. "Ah! Miriam, dreaming ?" "Yes. uncle; dreaming of that . face above your study tublo." lie w alked across the room and stood silently before it a long time. Then he came to me. "It is very like her, Mir iam ; and she as ns pure and good as the angel s.'V. ' 'Can you tell me of her, uncle f What was her name i'' Then, after a short sileuce, .he told me his early sorrow nnd revealed tho secret of the mystery that perplexed me. "Her name was Grace Hyde. She was !:;htcen and I was twenty-one when bIio omiscd to be my wife. I was just fin ing my professional studies, nnd had . own way to luako in the world, but I s strong to do my work nnd to fight battles, for Grace was awaiting the 'It. Her love would strengthen me 1 her hand would reward iny victory. " 'I will not fetter you, Paul, 'she said; I know how tho promise of many young iives lias been unfulfilled because tho daily needs of life and tho necessity of a practical answer to the questions: "What fehall we eat, and what shall we drink. nd wherewithal shall wo bo clothed?", have wearied tho spirit not yet ready for its life-work, crippled its energies, and chained it to an ignoble service, while the nobler work it might have done, waits for another. Give all the time you need to tho highest culture, tho fullest devel opment of your intellectual strength, find for yourself a fitting sphere of labor, and then, Paul, I will go with you, aud to gether w e will muke life beautiful.' "I could not combat her resolution. She was firm, and her father said: 'Grace is right; in the futuro you will acknowl edge it. "So I finished my studies in the uni versity and went to Paris. Grace, pale and tearful, with her little hands in mine, said: 'lie worthy of your best self, and may God forever guide and bless you, dear Paul.' And then we parted. "I had not been away three months, when a letter from Grace announced her father's attack. 'An attack of apoplexy,' she wrote. 'Poor mother, it is a terrible blow to her: I know not how slie will bear it. I pray that I may help her, and that God will give me power to comfort her.' Afler that her letters were not sad, but there was a subdued cheerfulness, or it might have been au effort to be cheer ful, and there was an impatient looking forward to my return, hho had such trust in me, such a noble ambition for mo, I was always stronger aud better Iter reading her words. Her influence 'ns around me continually, and the loptatiiins of Paris life were nil power 's. 1 could not disappoint her trust. oold try to be worthy of her. "1 had been iu Paii.i nearly two years, 1 mh preparing to return, when ono i a li tter, directed iu nil unknown I, wn given to me. 1 opened it hastily, with a presentiment of coming ill, for I had hoard nothing from Graco for many weeks. There wore those words from Dr. Merton, the family physician of thellydes: Dear Paul: Grace does not wish to alarm her mother, and therefore wishes me to write. Her days are numbered. Come quickly, if you would see her. "You can imagine tho slow passing of tho days that were bearing mo to Grace. Sho was dying; she might be gone be fore I could reach her; and, as if In mockory of my impatience, tho dull, monotonous ticking of tho clock sounded in my ears, and tho minutes passed so slowly. At last wo reached New York. A lew hours' ride in tho cars nnd I was in A . I went immediately to her house, but there was a strange name on tho door-plato. I rang, and inquired where Mrs. Hyde had removed. The servant gave me tho street and number. I aoon found the house, a small cottage, in a retired afreet. 'What was the cause of this removal I' I asked myself. 'Why had they left their old home ? nnd why had Grace never mentioned it in her let ters ? Was it possible that poverty had been added to the sorrow of that great bereavement and Grace had concealed it to avoid giving me pain?' Absorbed in these thoughts, I stood at the door of tho cottage, just as Dr. Morton was passing out. Ho grasped my hand. 'Welcome homo, Paul,' he said. 'They nre all ex pecting you. Grace is quiet; she does not suiter now. I tell you, Paul, there is no uso in trying to keep her here. She belongs to a better world. Angels like her are not given to us for a long time. They do their work quickly nnd then go home.' "He bad led me into tho little parlor, and in a few words told me all that Grace had concealed from me. Mr. Hydo had died insolvent. His creditors had seized upon everything. Mrs. Hydo had rented a small house, and furnished it plainly with tho little remnant of the estate which was left them. Few, even their most intimate friends, knew how very small this remnant was. Grace obtained a large class of pupils in music, and at night, when she returned, weary from her lessons, she taught classes in French. With a brave heart she worked, sustained by the consciousness tbat her mother was saved from toil and her little brothers were unconscious of the loss they had sustained. " The constant, wearving toil was too much for ono so wholly unused to it. While the spirit was very strong and the heroic young girl found peace in living for others, the warning came. She must rest. A little longer she struggled, then sank, and there was no help for her. Her earthly work was done. Tho old man wept like a child. I could not weep. In my heart a rebellious voice was saying: It must not be. Grace shall not die. Lile is worthless without her.' "That evening she was my wife. I begged that it might be so; that I might not lose sight of her while she remained. How beautiful she was my Grace in that hour, with tho dark hair brushed back from the pale forehead, the un natural brightness that shone iu her eyes and the burning crimson in her check. ' To love and cherish till death do us part." Are thoso words uttered with a full feeling of their significance when hopes arc bright aud life seems only to have commenced? To us they were full of solemn import. Deatn might come to do his work in ono week, one day, one hour, and I should have no Grace, no wife. "But she was mine, mine! and to gether we waited the summons that should separate us. In tho few days that remained sho told me of tho bright hopes of tho future our futuro that had sus tained her in tho days of trial, and of the faith that had made all things easy to bear. "If I had known it would end so, Paul, she said, 'I would have told you; but I thought I was stronger, and would work bravely without telling you any thing; that would pain vou, and you would soon come. But it is all right. I shall be yours in the other home. Walk worthily here, Paul. Consecrate your self to a noble life; remember all the dreams of your life, nnd perhaps in tho home to which I am going I shall know it all.' "Thus the days passed till the messen ger came, and Grace went with him.'" My undo sat a long time, with his head on tho table before him, before he spoke again. Then he continued: "It is thirty years since Grace's mother and brothers came to my home. Mrs, Hyde lived but a few years, and one by one tho brothers there were three of them made homes for themselves, and I was left alone. "In this room I kept the books and plants sho loved, and her portrait hung always above my 6tudy table; aud so I almost lived in her presence. But there were times when my loneliness seemed insupportable and life was a weary bur den I would gladly lay down that I might go to her. "Once I have seen her. Do not doubt it, Miriam. Five years ago I was very ill for many weeks. Grace's portrait was taken from the library aud carried to my chamber, that during the long days, when I had only servaati for attendants, I might have her face continually before me. The disease gained ground, and my physician insisted that 1 must have some more suitable attendant. 1 had at that time no near friend or relative with in many miles' distance, aud so Dr. Ives brought Jane Hope to the house. I had met her frequently iu the homes of my patients, and I knew her as a faithful nurse. "In my half dreamiug moods I had fancied that Grace was with me, aud it was not always pleasant to be awakened by the touch of a hand larger and rougher than hers, and to bear a voice that hud precision and hardness iu iw tones, when I had been drceming of tho voico so long silent. -But I learned to know Jane beUer and to value her prac tical knowledge. "One night the narcotics I had taken, instead of producing their usual cfTcct, had brought on a state of feverish wake fulness. Strange, shadowy forms floated around mc, sometimes taking to them selves tho faces of friends I hart known in boyhood. I could not drive them away. I rubbed my eyes, and said: 'There is tho table, and there the window. There is nothing between me and them;' but the next minute the space would be filled with my ghostly visitors. Stephen Grant, who in college bore the name of Euclid Grant, from his devotion to his favorite study, nnd something of a mathematical precision in every action, stood at the foot of my bed, in tho dim light, wearing tho same look of imper turbable gravity, bis head covered with triangles, and his hands filled with circles and squares. In a low, monotonous voice ho was reciting tho causes of my disease, and prescribing for its cure: 'Let AB be the disease, anq CD tho time. Then to the square of lie was interrupted by the dancing entrance of the young girl, who thirty-five years before had taught him lessons with which Euclid had noth ing to do. 8he came with, the freshness of springtime around her, bearing in her hands arbutus flowers, violets and daisies, which sho threw upon our Euclid. They fell upon him and wreathed themselves around the angles, circles nnd squares in which he had buried himself. Then a violin on tho table commenced playing a lively strain, nnd tables, chairs and ghostly forms in wild confusion mingled in tho dance, and I saw no more. "When I awoke the light still burned dimly, and the portrait of my lost Grace looked tenderly, pityingly upon mc, and I knew that through "all the long years of loneliness thus had sho looked down upon my desolate home. When my sor row had seemed greater than I could bear one thought had strengthened me tho thought that in the homo to which she had gone I should never more bo lonely ; she would be mine forever. "But that night the earthly future seemed so long and the way lead ing through it so weary and deso late, in my agony I cried : 'How long ! oh! how long l' Then the face changed. It became a living face, as full of tender ness as before, but wearing a cheerful, hopeful look; and you will think it a dream, Miriam, but I was not sleeping I saw her as plainly as I see you now. fcj'ie seemed to step down from tho canvas and noiselessly to approach me. I tried to rise. I stretched forth my arms to clasp her; but the waving of her hand .repelled me,and her upward look seemed to say, TMot bere, but there.' She drew nearer, and then I saw Jane Hope, my kind, faithful nurse, by her side. Then sho took Jane's hand in her own That little palo hand and holding it a mo ment she placed it in mine, and said, in thoso low, sweet tones, thrilling my whole being: 'Take her, Paul, my Paul ; she will help yon and comfort "you till you come to me. I am waiting for you Paul; in his time you will come, and then, my own ' I knew nothing more of that strange nighl, nor of many follow ing days and nights. "During the days of convalescence the portrait had such a happy look; and when Jane brought me tho tempting delicacies she could so well prepare, there was a smile of sweet contentment on tho face. So I learned to watch for her coming, and to be very happy when she sat by me, busy with her sewing, or when I could watch her moving around tho room, giving thoso indescribable touches to its arrangements which do so much to please the eye. "When I was well enough to go out Jane camo one morning to tell me she was going away. I told her all, and asked her to stay with me always. The next week we wore married ; and my kind, good nurse has proved the kindest and best of wives." A strange ending to all of Paul East man's early hopes; a strange awakening from his early dreams. From Grace, the beautiful and gifted Grace, pu.ilied by suffering, whose saintly life was a holy memory in the hearts of all who loved her, to cold, stern, practical Jano Hope, the faithful housekeeper, and alas' noth ing more, how great the change! Did tho young wife, looking down upon his earthly needs, send a messenger to giv e Paul Eastman a wife who should mend his stockings and keep his house clean; make his gruel and his bed; nurse his gout and prescribe for his rheumatism ; or was it an overdose of morphine that did the work? Who shall say? Ho firmly believed that Jano was sent to him by Grace, ami so ho is content; while I I only " tall tho tale as 'twas told to me." An Fust India Version of the Flood In East India there is a legend that ages ago mankind became so very bad that God dctermind to destroy all ex cept just enough to begin wjth anew. The exceptions were mostly .preserved along with pairs of all sorts of animals, in a golden pnUice on a mountain top. A boy and a girl, bom of parents who were "neither good nor bad," had been previously carried olt by an angel from the respective homes on the day of their birth, and were brought up in a crystal palace 'suspended in midair, where they were te ,d d by a mute female figure of gold. When they grew up they were married, and a girl was born to them. The destruction of the wicked having been effected by tire, the earth was thereby greatly smirched. So giants were sent to wash it clean. They used so much water that a deluge was pro duced, aud the water rose to high that the golden palace aud its inmates were in danger of being submerged. SELECT SIFTINGS. A locomotive lasts about thirty years. Red snow covers the summit of a moun tain near Sacramento, Cal. The second-hand pins sold in boxes are picked out of rags by women who make about five cents a day by the work. Experiments made by M. Muntz with various kinds of water spring, river, sea and rain water, also snow prove that al cohol may bo found in all except in pure spring water. Paper bottles, the material for which is ono part rags, two parts straw and five wood pulp, nre largely used in Germany. They are made water-proof by a coating of defibrinatcd blood, lime and sulphate of ammonia. The young men of this country spend annually $32,000,000 in confectionery for their sweethearts. According to the cen sus there are 10,000,000 youths who pur chase candy, making an average of only 3.20 for each. The returns made to the proper officers show that last year only thirty-eight per sons in all Great Britain held licenses for vivisection, and that only fifty-five exper iments were made without anrcsthetics, and that these were simple inoculations. The mortality of the whole globe has been computed by a continental publica tion at the following figures : Sixty-seven per minute, 97,71)0 per diem, and 85, 630,835 per annum, whereas the births are 30,792,000 per annum, 100,000 per diem, and seventy per minute. Toward the close of the seventeenth century "clipping and coining" had de veloped to a very great degree in England, and incarcerations and hangings were constant for these offenses. In 1G02, it is recorded, there were 300 coin ers and clippers dispersed in the city. So bold were the coiners that they made their counterfeit money even in Newgate. To show their skill they struck a medal of Newgate, which is still to bo found in Englisn collections. "wise words."-" Choose brave employment with naked sword throughout the world. Genius follows its own path and reaches its destination scarcely needing a compass. That Btate of life is the most happy where superfluities are not required and where necessities are not want ing. Discretion and hardy valor are the twins , .of honor, and nursed togethci make a conqueror; divided, but a mere talker. When Fortune comes smiling, she of ten designs tho most mischief. When Fortune caresses a man too much, she is apt to make a fool of him. Old age is the night of life, as night is the old age of day. Still, night is full of magnificence; and, for many, it is more brilliant than the day. Ho is poverty-stricken who is so ab sorbed in the littlo inclosures of which he holds the titlo deed that he loses bis grasp on the bending universe. , Self control is promoted by humility. Pride is a fruitful source of uneasiness. It keeps tho mind in disquiet. Humil ity is the antidote to this evil. Money and tirao are the heaviest bur dens of life, and the unhappiest of all mortals arc those who have more of either than they know how to uso. Immense Continental Armies. Colonel Ilcuncbert, a French professor, has compiled some appalling statistics in regard to the immense continental armies that could bo put into the field in case of a European war. Not mere armies, but armed nations, ho says, will hereafter meet on the battlefield, and the battles of tho future will be gigantic massacres. By the law of the lid of May, 1874, the German government is authorized to call out, in case of war, 0,000,000 men. I3y the ukase of January 1, of the same year, Uussia is permitted to arm nearly 13,000,000. Of course, these numbers are only on paper; but, deducting every thing, taking the real number available in the two empires, and it is positive that Germany can put into the field 3, 800,000, and Russia 2.500,000 fighting men, thoroughly drilled and disciplined, while, as Austria, by her law of Decem ber 5. 1808, is permitted to put on a war footing 1,205,000 soldiers, an Austro-German-Russian alliance represents, in round uumbers, 7,500,000 combatants. Join to these, as may be considered certain, Italy's contingent, assured bv her laws of 1375, 1870" and 1872 at 2, 570,000 men, and the quadruple league can dispose of a mass of troops of all arms execediug 10,000,000, with 1,000 batteries of field guns. A Pathetic Incident. A pathetic little incident connected with the celebrated case before Congress regarding the reduction of fifty dollars per month from the pension allowed by the government to the lato General Ward B. Jiuinett, for gallant services rendered his country, occurred cm the day of his death. The congressional committee were seated in their room discussing the case, hotly arguing for nnd agaiwrt the brave old soldier, whether or not to re store the special pension, which to them personally could mean no little, but to him was fraught with such weighty in terest, when suddenly all weio startled by the unexpected entrance of Mrs. Bur nett. Gazing around tor an instant with a dazed, sorrowful uir, she advanced a step nearer, saying gravely, with a won drous pathos in her voice, "Gentlemen, you can tight him no leuger, he is gone." and then the brave hearted wife, who, through all the years of tiial and sorrow, never once faltered in that helpful alle giance to her husband, which was the bright spot in the closing years of a once brilliant career, burst into telrs. Ynt- WilluH L'ltjritiil. I CONCERNING KING COTfON. nrTZ&ESTixa facts about GREAT IUDTJSTRY. The Kacred fihri.b ol India Produc llon of 4'iMtim In Orirntial t'oiin Xxem l'rimitive Machinery. . The traveler in the far East sees grow ing about tho temples of India a purple blossomed shrub, over which tho Hindu priests watch reverently. It is the sacred cotton tree from whose ripe bolls is made the tripartite thread, the Brahmin symbol of the Trinity. Although in no other clime nnd by no other race is this plant held in such peculiar and reverent regard, all the civilized world pay homage and tribute to the king whose throne is in the sunny cotton fields. And so they must from necessity. This king clothes fully one-half of the human race in his own fab rics, and a larae share of tho remainder are indebted to him for an essential part of their raiment. In his employ a thou sand "heavy-laden argosies" pass to and fro across the seas; at his bidding cities rise vocal with the sound of whir ring spindles and throbbing looms; Merrimacs and Willimantics do his will; and all around the world from the Himalaya slopes to tho Carolinas, millions of human beings toil their lives away in his servitude. Tho time is not known in history when cotton did not foim a part of the cloth ing of mankind. It is said that the "blue hangings fastened with cords of fine linen and purple to silver rings and pillars of marble" in the palace of Ahasuerns, at Shushan, described in the Book of Esther, were made of this ma terial. Herodotus put it on record, 450 B.C. " The wild trees of that country (meaning India) bear fleeces as their fruit passing those of sheep in beauty and ex cellence, and tho Indians use cloth made from these trees." The Institutes of Menu, written some 400 years earlier, contain many allusions to cotton and cot ton cloth under various names. Tho cultivation of the cotton plant in India is traced back more than 1,000 years bo fore the Christian era. The calicoes and muslins of that country have been famous for centuries. All the inventions and mechanical skill of the present day have not been able to produce such fine and durable fabrics as are woven on the rude and clumsy machines used in Oriental countries. A French traveler, writing of the cali coes of Surat, says they are ' so fine that you could hardly feel them in your hand, and the thread whon spun is hardly dis cernible." Muslin has been made in Bengal so extremely thin that when spread upon the grass and moistened with dew it is almost invisible. A single pound of this thread has been spun out to the length of a hundred and fifteen miles. Clotn made of these delicato threads has been poetically described as "webs of the woven wind." In China and Egypt the production of cotton began at a remote period, although it was not until recent times that it as sumed commercial importance. It was considered worthy of record by Chinese annalists that the Emperor Ou-ti, who ascended tho throne iu 502 A. D., wore a robo of cotton on that occasion. The early explorers of America found the Cotton king already established here. Cortez received cotton garments as pres ents from the natives of Yucatan; and Spanish historians describe it as forming the chief article of clothing among tho subjects of Montezuma. Garments made of this material were found in exploring the most uncient Peruvian tombs, and there is evidence that it was cultivated in that country as early as 1532. The process of weaving cloth seems to have been one of the first arts practised among mankind. It has been found to exist among tho rudest and most savage people, long anterior to the dawn of civ ilization. And although performed with the simplest and rudest implements, ihe same that are used to this day in many Eastern countries, tho product of theso primitive machines often surpassed, in many respects, the textures now woven in the mills of Manchester and Lowell. With the aid of a few sticks and the dex terous use of hitnds and feet, tho native of India constructs a fabric of marvelous fineness and beauty. Down to tho time of tho introduction of improved machinery-weaving was chiefly done in the homes of tho people, and the weaver's art descended as a heritage from genera tion to generation. It was everywhere held in high repute as a most useful and honorable employment. Tho distaff it self became the sign of thrift and indus try. Tho first manufactories of cotton goods iu Europe were established in Italy, chiefly at Venico and Milan, whose fus tians and dimities were highly valued in the households uf early times. Tho Netherlands was tho next country to adopt the art, which from thence was translated into Eng'and by the Protestant refugees from Flanders, after the capture of Antwerp by the Duke of Parma in 1585. A'dio York OlM-.rttr. Why He Was Afruld. "Johnnv, go up to bed now. It's after 9 o'clock." "Oh, pshaw! You come along, mother, aud hold the light; I'm afeard." "Why, child, what are you afraid of ? You we nt up to bed many a time without a light." "But it wasn't when I had c happed lips, like I got now, and cau't whistle any, 1 could whistle then." KuUttcli Mute Journal. A famous Prussian general was inspect ing some military stables. "What do I sen there," he said, in tones of thunder, to a sergeant "cobwebs;" "Yes, sir," was the respectful reply ; " we keep them there to catch the (lies, and prevent their teiisiug the hoiiies." BELLES ON THB BEACH. Boe the dainty, darling belles, ' Diving belles I How the music of their merriment melodiotial y wells I Keeping time, time, time. In a sort of splashing rhyme, To the motion of -old ocean as his bcewrn proudly swells With delight, In his might, At the soul-ensnaring sight Of the beautiful and bounding bashful beHra, Of the bellos, belles, belles, Belles, belles, belles, belles, Of tbe splashing, dashing, never "mashing" belles I See the garments of the bellea. Bathing belles I What a world of ingenuity each charming costume tells I , . Some are red, white, blue. Divers colors, every hue, While the many vie in brilliancy with any1 of the shells Which below, As they go, Vainly try to kiss the toe, Of the sweetest and the neatest of the belles, Of the bellos, belles, belles, Belles, bellos, belles, belles, Of the natty and the natatorial belles I Soe the antics of the belles, Frisky belles I Eow they frolic in the foamy waves, whfla flirting with tho swell I 1 O'er their skill they gayly gloat, As they dive, swim, float, Giving vent to their enjoyment with exaspef ating yells, While the sea Smilos with gleo At the girlish jubilee Of the jolly, jaunty, jubilant and ever joyous belles, Of the belles, bellos, holies, Belles, belles, belles, belles. Of the streaming, gleaming, streaming, beam ing belles, The ne'er subduel, the rainbow -hued, the dainty diving bello3. New York Journal. HUMOR OF THE DAT. The king of Greeco Oleomargarine. Philadelphia Call. Tho family nursery is generally a big bawl room. Chicago Sun. An anxious inquirer asks: " Whero is the best place for salt-water bathing?" In salt water, dear friend. Boston J'ott. A lobster always blushes when ho gets into hot water, but man, less sensitive, presents an unaltered front. JJotton JJuilyet. "There is something crooked about this," remarked tho teacher, as ho took a bent pin away from a scholar. Neio York Journal. " Hard lines," muttered the tramp when he tried to cut a clothes rope and found it made of wire. Ncus York Journal. A medical journal takes two columns to tell wakeful people how to go to sleep. Hah, we know a good way ; try to keep awake. Burlington JIawkeye. t Come into tho garden, Maude, with a hand rake and a hoe. Here are tho big gest weeds you ever sawed, growing in the onion row. I'ilttburg Democrat. The latest boarder in an uptown estab lishment recently offended his landlady by pointing at the fish-balls and asking tho waiter to pass 'him another hand grenade. Puck. In some respects a mouse is far super ior to a man. A mouse could mako a woman rustic around and climb on the table nnd squeal, while a man couldn't make her budge un inch. PitUburg Dem ocrat. "Don't you admire the rango of my mind i" asked a literary woman of her husband. "No," was" tho frank reply; "the kitchen rango possesses a great deal more attraction for me." Burling ton Free Proa, A young man or a young woman in love is as blind as a bat, and the beloved object might be as full of faults as the Platte valley is of toads without the one who is principally interested ever finding it out. PhiUnltiljiltiti J'reta. "How will my lovo como back to me?" asks a poetess. Well, it i a mighty hard quest um to answer in theso trying times of a presidential campaign. llo may coine back all right, and then again ho may not. You stand a good chauco to win either way you bet. Peek? .Nui. Nature is guilty ofsomo strange freaks. For instance; throw a tin-cent dog that has never seen water into the river, and it will immediately swim to shore ; bin when a $50,000 man, whose education in the natatorial art has been neglected, falls overboard, ho incontinently sink, to tho bottom. Norrittown Herald. CCHK FOU TllAMPS. A hungry gleam in his eye, 1I says he's sought work o'er and o'er; Oh, if h i'd but u ehuiu-e to try, iiuti win k his lio'ie-i and muscles sore! But just, ere listening to his cry, 1'iiiiit to the wand ' v t'l door He'll turn avviiv with uiai y si,; l, And you will never see him more. J'ii!w,ljhii Call. A wri:er in a scientific journal says black eyo is simply a "severe coutusio of the integuments under tho orbit, with great cxtravazation of blood, and ec chyinosis iu the surrounding cellular tissue, which is i;i a turn lu'l slate.' And here nil this time wu have sup posed that a black eye was simply ihd result of a little in in calling a big u;nu liar. AiurrititoiPii Herald. Seven of the jury who comK limed .lol Brown to death utv still living, and Uiei. tig is average seventy yearn.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers