THE FOREST REPUBLICAN ll published ererj We InesiUy, by J. E. WENK. Office in Smearb.-iugh & Co.'s Dulldlng ELM BTUKE l TIONKSTA, PA. RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Ripiare, one Inch, one Insertion fl 0 One Square, ono Inch, one month J 01 One S'pinre, one in h, three months 6 0 One Square, oni Inch, one year 1 ' Two Squares, oue year 15 011 Quarter Column, oue ycBr 3" Half Column, one year R0 00 One Columnjone year W 09 Legal notices at established rates. Jlnrrlase and death notices gratis. AH bills for yearly advertisements collected quar terly. Temporary advertisements must be paid In advance. Job work cash on delivery. Terms, I. DO per Year, Wo nWrlpt1niu recolrcd for a shorter peril tlmn UirM months. Correspondence, lollcitod from all parts of Ilia Country. No notice will be iskou of uonymom common KAtlon. VOL. XVII. NO. 19. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27, 1884. $1.50 PER ANNUM. b HOOD-NIGHT AND GOOD-BYE. 'TTien the gold anil the red of the Rotting Run "rowg palo mid fades nt tlio close of day ; i ben tho flooding splendor is over nnd done, And night drawn on anil covers its wny, We do not hope its return in vain, For wa know to-morrow will come ngain. This is pood-night. When we port with a clasping mnd at night From tho friend wo love, wo feel rogrot, And the bright, warm heart takes with it the light, And Joy of our own hearthstone; and yot, This regret is not a hopeless pain, For we know that tho friend will come again. This Is good-night. When we leave the shore that has known our birth, When we turn our longing sight to fill Our hearts with mem'rios of sorrow and mirth, The throbs of expectation are still. 1 1 night draws on, while we strain our eyes i" a long, last look of our para-Uso. This is good bye. Then a soul is called from the busy crowd, To tread the paths of an untried way In garments of light instead o( the sliroud, And we look our last on the form of clay, We know wo have said our hist adieu, And the broken vows we cannot renew. This is good-bye; When we stand at tho gate at eve with him Who has filled our life with joy or pain, When wa watch the waning light grow dim, And know we shall novsr watch it nguin, ' V,"e say Uio words and hear tho reply, fid we know the farewell is spoken for aye. This is good-night and good-bye. THE CAPTAIN'S STORY. "I can never puss that spot without thinking of an event that happened two years ngo," said tho captain of the Fly-by-Night, a lake passenger-boat trading between Detroit and Port Huron, as ho pointed to a small house two miles uwny on the American shore of lake Huron. It was a trim white cottage with green ' .Uice-work, a well-kept little lawn, and : a front of it a tall Hag-polo set into the loof of a pngoda-like summer-house. Below it, at the lake, was a dock, and on a huge sign-post ono could read, "War nor's Landing." "It belonged," continued tho captain, "to old Captain Warner who sailed tho Boscobcl. lie died and left the property to hisnephcw.in the State of -New York, who brought his wife and little boy with him to live there. He was a gentlemanly young man, well cducnted, and on the light side of thirty. Ilia wifo was us trim a littlo lady as I ever saw; pretty as a picture, and as light-hearted as a school girl. Not one of your namby-pamby fashionable young women, but a fresh, healthy girl, with a woman's heart and a man's courage. "Hut the gem of the family wus their boy Willie, who -was nearly seven years old, and I do think tho 'cheeriest and most sensible little fellow in the State. Sailors have always a soft spot in their hearts for children, and the way that youngster curried ou during tho trip from Detroit, when we brought the family up here, was a constant pleasure and surprise. He wus tho king of the boat. The steward's cabin, the pilot house, the porter's pantry, tho ladies' parlor ho appropriated to himself a free pass everywhere, cud used it liberally. He found a snug corner for himself in he hearts of all on board. Why, I re nember ono day, after tho family had en in the house there about three ntha, a deck-hand, a surly fellow who ver had a civil word for any one, lug- out of his pocket a colored picture . k and leaving it at tho landing, with r Willie, with Joe Price's love' writ ; on it. "It was a lonesome soot for such peo- n to scttlo in, and I often wondered ow they rou hi reconcilo themselves to t, until I learned that Captain Warner uad made it a condition of his will that they must live at the landing two years. "One day, when they had been there about six months, wo took up the liver from Detroit to them a small pleasure skiff with 'The "Willie' painted in gilt letters on the stern. "I never saw a child so pleafcd. He took to that boat like a duck to water. We used to see him on nearly every trip as we passed, sculling himself about in tho slip like a born sailor. I don't be lieve in allowing children to bo too ven turesome on tho water, nnd so I told his father; but he laughed, and ho said he thought Willie was sensible enough to JaasarTof himself. "Ono day, we were signaled to stop st Warner's landing. "William Warner was going to New York. His wife and boy weie on thu dock, wishing him as tearful a good-bye us if he were on a two years' voyage to Greenland. "lie, too, was in low spirits. He canio and sat by mo in the pilot-house, and looked as glum as if tliere'd been a death in his family. At last he said, very sol emn and eurno t. 'Do you believe in pre sentiments of evil, Captain Kcnyon?' " 'No!' I said, quite sharply, for I don't like to see a man give way to such nonsense. "He went down on deck then, half-offended, uni) left the boat at Detroit with out even bidding ino good bye. Wo were lute leaving on our return trip that uight, and 1 wus surprised to see, just before we started, Warner come on board. He had a small parcel in his hand. " 'Captain,' he said, "I want you to be tie to leave this ut the lauding ou your ly up.' "'I can't,' I said, for 1 saw it was iy un excuse to get nie to call nud seo t his folks were ull safe. ' We're late if and ntPoit Huron we've a lot of ves to take on, which will muke us rs till.' ' uui no persisted, ana wueu l saw h)v down-hearted he looked, I told him t give tho parcel to- tho clerk and I would pco what I would do when we ar rived opposite tho Landing. We left Port Huron in tho middlo of the following d iy. It had been very hot all tho morn iitg. but as the afternoon advanced, a stilT west wind, accompanied by a drizzling rain, began to blow. " It was so late when we approached tho landing that I had quite determined not to call; in fact, we stood out in the lake a mile further than our usual course, 1 was taking a dog-snooze in my berth, when tho mate awoke me. " 'There's a women, sir, on Warner's landing signaling us, and I think some things wrong there. "I was on deck in a minute. 'Give mo tho glass,' said I, and I soon made out thnt it was Mrs. Warner, making frantic gestures to catch our attention. She was bare-headed, and stood in the rain at the end of tho landing. Then she ran into tho house and began to wavo a whito table-cloth from ono of the upper windows. " 'Very likely sho wants to know if her dear William got to Detroit safely,' I grumbled ; 'but I suppose we'd better round to.' "As the boat made tho dock, the clerk sprang ashore, and in a few minutes we had tho whole story, Willie had been playing with the skiff in the slip, as he had done scores of times before. Mrs. Warner had been busy over some house hold duty and did not notice that it rained. When she did, she went atonoe to call Willie in. But sho could not find cither tho bout or the boy. Both had vanished as though tho lake had swal lowed them up. "She had not dared to go inland to the village to seek help, for fear of miss ing our boat as it passed, but she had for hours been running up and down the shore calling in vain to her darling. Some of the lady-passengers wrapped tho distracted mother in shawls, for she would not delay a moment, and wo put out into the lake. I followed the course of the wind as well as I could, for I knew well enough that the little fellow had been blown out into tho lake, where there was a but a smull chance that wo should find him, for it was unlikely so frail a boat could live long in such a heavy sea. ''For an hour we beat about without seeing an object on the water, when away in the distance there was a dark spot that came occasionally in sight on tho top of tho waves. 'Tom,' said I to my mate, 'can you mako out what that i-i on tho starboard quarter? Is it a log it a bout?' " 'It's a log adrift, sir.' "'It's not! I'm sure it's not! It's a boat I' shrieked a voice close by me. and I saw, to my surprise, Mrs. Warner, who I supposed was in the cabin, peering into the drizzling rain. To all my ap peals to her to go below, she kept cry ing: "'It is a boat! it is a boatl He is saved !' "Without a glass to aid her vision, her strong mother-lovo giwc her keenness of sight denied to us. It was a boat. But it was only on my threatening to abandon the search that tho wretched woman con sented to go below. "Two minutes later tho mato cried: 'Yes, sir, it is a boat, but it's empty so fur as I can see. There's nobodv sitting in it.' "It was true. There the little skiff was tossing about, like a cork on the waves, with one scull dangling in the row-locks, but not a soul could bo seen in her. " 'Tom,' said I, nervously, for I felt sure the boy was not in the boat, and I uctuully trembled with apprehension lest tho sad news would kill his mother, 'will you go down and tell that poor woman whut we have seen?' ''Not for all the gold in California 1' paid the mute decidedly; and yet he's as bravo a fellow as ever sailed the lakes. "We passed the word to have Mrs. Warner taken into a cabin, as we neared the skill. I felt so angry with that poor painted toy of a pleasure-boat, that I had half n mind to run it down. But of course 1 wasn't quite foolish enough for that. Tho mate and two of the deck-hands put oil in tho yawl, for our wash would have capsized tho skiff hud we gone any nearer. With a listless eye I watched them approach tho boat, for I felt a leaden weight at my heart, because I was sure I should bo obliged to tell tho young mother of her loss. I saw Tom get hold of tho painter, and then spring into the skiff. Then, "Safe! safe! The boy is here !' "It appears that tho little fellow, tired oj play, hud lain down under the seat, and had gone to sleep. In the meantime the boat had drifted into the lake and it hud begun to ruin. Tho drizzling rain did not wukc him, and ho lay in as sound a slumber as if lie was in his bed at home, and not a hair of his head hurt. " But what a fuss there was aboard. The women were all crying, and the men, too, for that mutter. And the young mother, clasping the boy to her heart, went straight down ou her knees and thanked God before them ull for sparing his life. I don't think words ever can.e from ' a minister's lips that went straighter up to the throne of grace than that young woman's prayer. "Tho family are living East now. William Warner is one of tho few men I claim us personal friends, and as for his bright littlo wife, if sho were my own child, I couldn't have a deeper re gard for her. And the presents they send me! There is no use in my try ing to choke oil their gratitude. Not the least. And every parcel comes narked, 'With Willie's love. ' " Youth') CotHjHinion. The orange tree at Versailles, known as the Cireat Constable, is nearly five hundred years old. It was planted in H by Eleanor of Carlisle, wife of John III., king of Navarre. FASHION NOTES. flolly is becoming popular for bonnet trimming. Wide collars are most fashionable for boys' wear. A new imitation of Valenciennes lace has appeared. Fashionable paper fans have not more than live sticks. Some parasols are studded at intervals with artifici.il daisies. Navy blue satteens with large red polka dots are popular. flay colored chenillo balls are sewed on at intervals on lace vests. Bonnots are even more microscopic than thoso of last winter. Lndics are wearing more masculine looking cravats than ever. Bonnets are small and hats are large, with high crowns as a rule. Straw hats of the sailor shapo are worn by many young ladies. Ladies are having shirred pokes made to match their summer dresses. Every lady who can afford it, has nowadays, at least ono lace dress. The rush bonnet has appeared; it is simply trimmed with a rose or two. Among cool dresses are China crapo frocks trimmed with Valenciennes lace. Some of tho figured lawns sold this seasons have borders a third of a yard wide. India silk dresses are made with tho gathered round waist and tho skirt in one piece. A black straw hat looks pretty when trimmed with red crape, jetted red tips and wing Hats are seen occasionally tha have a brim of fluted lace substituted for the one of straw. An attractive dress is a gray cashmere with draperies of gray silk dotted with cardinal chenille. Pulled vests or watteau fronts, as they are also called, are seen on many of the imported dresses. Seals are more and more generally used on letters, and gray wax is used in prefer ence to other colors. Black pearl ornaments are used instead of jet by ladles in second mourning. They are pretty, but expensive. Piquo collars are still worn, and for neglige costumes colored and striped linen is used for collars and cuffs. On some of the new bonnets is revived the prim littlo bow under the chin and held in place by a fancy littlo pin of gold. Silver braid is much used on Parisian made dresses and wraps, and when used judiciously is a very ornamental and ef fective trimming. Pretty bonnots are made of alternate rows of Bilver braid and straw of dark shades, such as garnet, myrtle green, smoke color and black. A costume of brown cashmere, with a vest of chamois skin, is perhaps a rather surprising combination, but is neverthe less quite pretty and effective. Spiders and owls have had their day lor heads of bonnet pins, and oxidized silver grasshoppers, locusts, dragonflies and little birds are seen in their place. " A pretty black tulle bonnet is studded with gold beads and has a high trimming of golden chrysanthemums and a gold aigrette, the strings being of beaded lace. The newest thing iu tho way of a sofa pillow is a huge egg of palo "blue satin cut in five gores, and on one side a hand painted decoratiou appears iu the foam of a seeno of " Sindbad tho Sailor." The wide neckties of whito mull so much worn a few seasons ago are again offered by those who import French lingerie. These are a quarter of a yard in width, and are hemstitched across the ends. The Circassian jacket, quite short at the waist, squaae cut in front, opening over a Kussiun waistcoat and belt, and worn with a full trimmed or untriinmed skirt, comes to us among other Parisian novelties. One of the dressiest toilets of surah, trimmed with lace, has a deep lace dra pery of bordered lace around tho bottom of tho bodice, lace elbow sleeves, and a full laco yoke, strapped with ribbon matching the surah. Black stockings are still commended with dresses of all colors and for all oc casions. Those of silk or of brilliant lislo-thrcad with a slight clocking at the sides are chosen in preference to those elaborately decorated. Some of tho most delicately beautifti of the bonnets of white luce, mull or crupo are shirred in clusters on their white frames and made graceful with scarfs of lace nnd white clover blooms, lilies of the valley or snowball. The latest costume of high ceremony brought out from Paris consists of a pale blue Chantilly lace dress, worn over a pule blue surah slip. Tho blue net, on which the white (imitation) Chnntilly flowers are applique, is fine silk tulle. The Early Bird. Mrs- Symperson is quite a young woman, and is tho mother of a precocious little girl. There wus compunv at tho house a few evenings ago. When bed time arrived Mrs. Symperson said: "Come now, Mamie, it's time for you to go to bed." "I don't want to go to bed." "But you must. Don't you know all the little chickens have goue to bed" "Yes, but tho old heu went to bed with them." Sf'tiitg. The new uniforms of the Russian army are so severely simple that they are almost ugly. Even the time honored metal button is discarded, the fastenings being hooks and eyes hidden from sight. (JESTERS OF THE TKESS.! HUMOROUS STORIES CULLED FBOM EXCHANGES. A Chefrfnl Itrlvrr She Imported t Ho He i:irrlm-iii-ri lionril a 1 Hun dred niles-tlemnn Who Wept. An invalid from Boston came to Aus tin for his health. He was confined to his bed at first, but soon recovered suffi ciently to take a ride in a hired hack from Monroo to Miller's stable. Tho hack driver was verv polite and attentive, and when ho helped tho invalid out on their return to the hotel, the latter said: "I am very much obliged. I think I shall require your services again pretty soon." "You bet you will. I drive the hearse." Texat Sifting. She r.xprctcd to He. At Vassar they do not allow the young ladies to drive out with the male men un less there is a near relationship between them or unless there is an engagement on the boards. A Vassar daisy asked permission to take a drive with a young man. "Is ho your father, brother, or cousin?" "No, ma'am." "Are you engaged to him?" "No, ma'am," and here tho crimson rushed from her neck and cuddled up among her bangs, "but I expect to bo be fore we get back." She was allowed to go. Hatcliet. He Experimented. He was a bashful wooer, but there was a certain manliness about him which in dicated that he needed a little encourage ment to let himself out. She saw this and she resolved on a policy of encourage ment. "Do you believe these stories in the funny papers," she asked, "about the willingness of young ladies to be kissed ?" "I I really can't say," ho replied. "They may be true." Then, gathering courage, he added: "I hope they are true," and he drew closer to her. "It seems tome," she said, "that there is only one way in which a young man can discover whether they are true or not." "And what way is that ?" he asked. There was a brief pause. Then with a far away look in her eyes, she answered : "By -experimenting when ho has the opportunity." He experimented. Heard a. Hundred Itlilesja Several old fellows were exchanging yarns in the postollice lobby the other day yarns suited to this season of the year, fish, snake and sea serpont stories when ono who had said little, stepped forward and took a hand in the game. All of the old fellows had vouched for the truth of the stories they had told, but, still, there was a kind of feeling that some high-latitude lying was being done in tho audience, and when this last gen tleman came forward, the crowd yearned to hear him swear the yarn would bo Btrictly true. "Gentlemen," said the new man, "I am going to give yon a true story," (groans). "I am willing to swear to it." (Cries of "Swear," "Swear.") "If there is a justice of the peace hero, let him swear me." Ono came forward and administered the oath. This began to inspire confi dence. "Gentlemen, I heard two men talk a hundred miles, the other dav," (cries of "Oh!" "Telephone!") and it"wus not by means of any telephone, cither." (Sur prise and cries of "Liar," "Perjurer," etc.) "Then, how was it?" asked one of the men. "Why, I was riding on the Chicago & Alton Denver express with them." The coroner cut him down, and ho was buried in the potter's licld. Through Mail. The Woman who Wepl. On the wharf side of the Michigan Cantral freight depot tho other day was ll box which anybody would instantly suspect to contain a cotlin. A woman about fifty years of age sat on this box and wept. She hadn't shed abme seven tears when a man who was hunting up some freight passed her and was at tracted. "Ah! I see!" he remarked as he scan ned the box, "husband dead and wife going to take t he body back for burial among friends." She didn't look np or give other evi dence that she knew of his presence, and he walked closer und remarked: "So the old gentleman's gone, eh? Too bud, but that is tho end of all." She answered by a well constructed sob, "Taking the body back to the old fam ily burying ground, I nippose?" ho went on. "Well, it probably doesn't make any difference where a man sleeps his last sleep, but when I die 1 want to be taken buck to old Massachusetts to lie until the summons come." If she cared two cents whether his body went to Massachusetts or Halifax she did not let on. "Probably sick for several weeks und expenses must have been pretty heavy. I'm a stranger to you but if ahem that is, if you won't take it amiss, here's a $ bill to help ulong so far." Sho covered her face with one hand and held out the other. "And, I hope," siid tho man us he turned away, "that he may rest iu peace under the shadow of the village church." Sho probably hoped so, too, but sho didn't suy it. The man went his way to the other cud of the freight house, und falling in with a freight huudler whom he knew he said : "That's an awful sad caso down there." "::f" .' "." j j nac poor oiu wile taking her hus i band's body home for burial." 'Vnn n,A mil I T1,C. I.- uut i tit a U ;unnui. tu UO shipped to Dexter, nnd that woman has been weeping around hero for two hours because she lost an old parasol off tho wharf ?" Free 'rem. HEALTH IIINT.S. To cure weak eyes bathe your eyes da ly in salt water; not salt enough to cause a smarting sensation. The worst cold may be promptly cured if, within twenty-four hours after it has been taken, the patient will keep warm in bed and cat nothing for a day or two. It Is said that by the following simple method almost instant relief from ear ache is afforded : Put five drops of chlo roform on a littlo cotton or wool in the bowl of a clay pipe, then blow the vapor through the stem in the aching ear. Prevention of summer complaint in children, according to Dr. Little, can bo attained by giving them plenty of water. He had been physician to a chil dren's orphan asylum for twenty-two years, and every summer there had been enteric disease. In the summer of 1883 he ordered that tho infants bo fed only every three or four hours, and that water be given if the child cried in the inter val. There was not a single case of en teric disease in the institution during that season. A Novelist's Methods. In its sketch of Charles Keade the Pall Mull Gazette thus describes his method of work: "At eight o'clock he used to rise. At niue he breakfasted. At ten ho be gan his work, which generally lasted until two or thereabouts. His work was done in the drawing room, from the windows of which he could look on to the smooth lawn, sometimes watching tho traffic as it passed tho bottom of the garden, or looking on at n game of ten nis, or amused by the gambols of his tamo hares. When the French windows were closed no noise from the street could reach him, though he was not as some authors, for he eyen tolerated tho presence of a friend when at work. When he hud fairly broken the ice of a story he worked with great rapidity, and sometimes for many hours without a rest, lie loved great sheets of drab manuscript paper, great pens and tho blackest of ink. As each sheet was done it was numbered and thrown on the floor, which, after a few hours, was carpeted with manuscript, The maid servant gathered up the sheets; they were put in order and sent to his favorite copyist, who re turned thorn written out clean in a neat, round hand. Mr. Iicade went over them again, slashing here or adding there. Tho revised sheets were once more copied out, once more revised, and then sent to the printer's. 1'uneti once declared that a compositor threw himself oil Waterloo Bridge in a fit of madness induced by Charles Keade's manuscript, a little joke which ho took much to heart. It proved effective, however, und was good for both compositor and copyist. At times he dictated a story, but this happened very seldom, lie took no lunch, but dined late, often going ta the theatre after dinner." Killed by Parsimony. M. do Vandillo was the most remarka ble man in Paris on account of his ex treme wealth and avarice. Ho had been a magistrate at Boulogne. He literally adopted the old maxim that the "seeds of wealth, the half-pence and pence, may be compared to seconds of' time, which generate years, centuries, and even eternity itselt." In 1733, M. do Vandillo possessed up ward of seven hundred thousand pounds, which he had got or multiplied upon tho body of a single shilling, from tho ago of sixteen to the ago of seventy-two. Having overheated himself one summer's day in carrying homo a load of fuel, a fever ensued, and he, 'for the first time in his life, sent for a surgeon to bleed him; but thinking his terms exorbitant, he proposed a bargain to a common bar ber surgeon, who undertook a vein for three pence a time. "But," said Yandille, "how often will it be requisite to bleed:'' "Three times," said ho. "And what quantity of blood do you propose to take? ' "About eight ounces each time," replied the operator. "That, will bo nincpenee! Too much! Too much!" exclaimed old Yandille. "I have determined to go a cheaper way to work; take the whole quantity ut once that you prouo.,e to tuke ut three times, and that will save me six pence." This being insisted upon, he lost twenty-four ounces of blood, and also, by this un precedented stretch of parsimony, his life. His vast treasures were left to the king, whom ho appointed his sole heir. The Mormon Temple. The great building at Salt Lake, which tho Mormons have Lien twenty-eight years in constructing, is approaching completion. The main walls are done. It is built of granite, w hich is hauled from the mountains, back of Salt Lake, on great wagons or trucks, with wheels twelve feet high. Tho walls are 'cu feet iu thickness ami eighty-live, in height. It has cost up to this time . t. '-MO.flfnl, which has been collected by the tithing tax. it will require six years more to finish tho work. Probably no other chiyeh building in the I nitt- 1 States has been constructed in a way to sen re such durability as is possible to this. Some of those who predict the early ruin of the Mormon hierarchy are wondering what use they cull make of this tt i iple. A youthful appearing couple have been detected in a stiange conspiracy to ob tain money. .They isited different cities as single persons, obtained positions iu society, courted each other uud were mar ried. In every cao the wedding pres ents amounted to handsome amounts. AT THE GARDEN OATH. "Come and unbir tho garden gate. My hnnds are full of gathered flowers," Sang blithesome Kate, as tho painted sky "Was failing out 'mid evening hours; A welcome song to my listening ear, From prattling, pretty, winsome Kate; So I hurried o'er the well-worn path That wound along by the garden gata. A cloud of fragrant apple blooms "Was hung bo closely overhead That even sly, eavesdropping birds Could not mnke out a word we said, Nor take a note of what was dono By bashful swain and blushing Kate, And both have kept the secret well Those happenings at the garden gate. Bright roses bloomed on Katie's cheeks, While fading snnlight bathed her hair; A merry twinkle filled her eyes; Her lips well, kisses nestled there. I drew the bar nnd cleared the way, That she might pass, my bonnie Kate; But toll was claimed; she paid; and I Returned it all at tho garden gate. Long years have rolled away since then, And we have lived and loved together, Sometimes in sun, sometimes in shade, Unmindful of the wind or weather. Each year, when comes t he apple blooms, At eve I go with my darling Kate, And on each anniversary day Take toll anew at the garden gate. Clark IV. Bryan, in Harper's Weekly. HOIOK OF THE DA!Ti A nod thing A boy in chiRC&, A game name for a petulant wife La cross. A dissipated man is apt .to bo dizzy pated, also. The duty of the hour is the tariff on rk.V!S watches. llmckeye. Gross earnings Tho wages made by a museum fat woman. Philadelphia Call. What the sewing machine said when it skipped the stitch Sew longl Tfn Judge. An enthusiast speaks of the religion ot the beautiful flowers. Buddhism, prob ably. Boston Courier. Baseball is taking the place of bull fighting in Cuba. Thus does civiliza tion advance, step by step. Hartford Pout. "Hard lines-," muttered the tramp, when he tried to cut a clothes-rope and found it was made of wire. New Turk Journal. A Burlington girl has a diary devoted entirely to noting down tho visits of her beaux. Sho cals it her court docket. Free Press. A h otel in the shape of an elephant has been built nt Coney Island. The bag gage of the guests will bo kept in the trunk. JlurUngUni Free Prem. How doth the frisky little bug Delight to crawl and bite, And make your limbs a picnic ground, Each blessed summer night. Fall Hirer Advance. An exchange says: "Great excitement prevails in Cluckamus county, Ore., over tho reported discovery of a veritable wild woman." We suppose the woman across the street has a better looking bonnet. lloston Post. Miss Hose Eytingo snys: "Journalism and tho theatrical profession are united bv some very slender ties." One of which, most fragrant Hose, is adver-tise. There is nothing like it, we assure you. LouUedle Pout. There is a young pianist in Boston who shuts his eyes while playing. There are lots of old warblers iu every city who would gain many new admirers if they would shut their mouths while singing. Sew York Journal. The man who owes a tailor's bill Ho can't afford to iiy Must Ih posKessinl of iron will L'pon a sultry day; For wiion ho fears, despite of pride, His tuilor he inilil meet, Ho Hkulks ulong the sunny side, Ut every crowded street. A'eio York Journal. A Frenchman in New York makes dimples in the laces of all who can af ford that luxury. As he has advertised for a steam drill it is safe to presume that he has a commercial traveler for a distiller. llo.tton Courier. A current item says that "tho plains ot Texas cover an area of l.VJ.OUO "acres, on which feed 3,800,1100 head of cattle." The item docs not state where tho tails of the cattle are, but whoever heard of the tails feeding anywhere. I'cxat Ill l.KS OK t Ol'llTSlllP. The manly youth who would a maiden woo Will prolit ll lie keeps these ruli-s in view; He not precipitate nor yet too slow; lie not ushumed at a reimtf or so. I t she is unresponsive, ilistunt, cold. The wooer should lie delicately bold; Ir she is timid, ditlident nud siiy, iKin't trel, she ll tind morn eouruge by-und-by. lx-t not her lir.L relusa! give distress: A woinauV no is oilcii meant for yin. Sonureille Journal. A tr imp stopped at u house on Main street the other day and asked for some thing to eat. "Which do you like best," asked the hired girl, "steak or chop:" The tramp meditated a minute, and then replied: "Chop." .Up right this way," said the hired gill. "Here's the ux and there's the wood-pile." Burling ton, Free 'rem. UK 1'EKl.S. Tim small boy stands iVsidc till' hhi1, And u ith hU liaiuU The v nice eooi lie lei Is. He lingers not, s Nor tun" waste, The weal hers In, i, And with great hiusto Ho pi els. Jlolon The prince of Orange kept sixty par rots in his bedroom.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers