THE FOREST REPUBLICAN I) published ercry We Inesday, by J. E. WENK. OffloBln BmsarbnuGh & Co. s Building ELM 8THKK1', TIONESTA, l'A. RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Square, one inch, ono Insertion tl 0 'ne Nqnarc, ono Inch, one month 8 Oft O ic Square, one Inch, three month! 00 fl fl 0tt0l wm&n. one Square, oni Inch, one year " " Two Sqnarcs, one year " J Quarter Column, one year w Half Column, ono year 6(1 00 Oue Column4oue year I03 Legal notice! at established rates. Marriage and death notices gratis. All bills for yearly advertisements collected miar lor y. Temporary advertisements must be paid in advance. Job work cash on delivery. V Terms, - $1.00 por Year, Ho subscription! recelrod for shorter perli than three months. t'orresnnndence solicited from all parts of Hie oonntrjr. No notice will be taken of anonymous Communications. VOL. XVII. . NO. 18. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20. 1884. $1.50 PER ANNUM. if L1C JUI fats, A sunbeam kissed a rivor-rlpplo "Nay, Naught shall dissever thee and mo I" la nigjht'i i wide darkness passed tho beam away, : Thsripple mlnghxl with tho son, -John Vance Cheney, in the Ccnlury. THE TIDAL TRAIN. There wits a profit rush for tho tidal train that morning frnm Paris. It started mt a very convenient hour, 0:40, and was patronized by a crowd of people. An the timo for departure. approached, there was the usual outcry for Beats. The French oflkluls, if asked, chrugged thoir shoulders and pointed to the nearest car riage; what they meant was, that there Was still room and to spare if people did not cover up extra seats with their be longings, and so monopolize more than their share. Late arrivals thus neglected wandered miserably up and down tho whole length of tho train, seeking ac commodation excitedly, and in vain. , Among the rest were two ladies, ono of whom, tho elder, seemed greatly flur- Tied and put out. "I knew how it .would bo, she cried, in a despairing voice, "every scat is occupied I What shall wo do? why were we so late?" She was a middle-aged, somewhat plethoric-lookhig dame, with an air of much im porta nee, marred for tho moment by helplessness and ill-temper. "Wo shall find places presently, dour Lady Jones," replied the younger, who had tho lather sycophantic nir of a hum ble friend. "The guard will help us." "They never do, and they don't under stand. Dour, dear! why didn't we come j'l time? It was all j our fault Hester"' i to the maid who followed them as y ranged backward along tho plat- lk Vi "you ought to have packed last nrt. What shall wo do? Oh, thank you so much!" she cried suddenly, with effusion. ...-- .... )t' A gentleman, who apparently had been watching her distress, pushed open the door of the carriago he occupied and in vited her to enter. His compauion, an other man at the far end, made room by removing rugs and bags, and presently Lady Jones, with a t-igh of relief, sank back into tho cushions. Then with fem inine selfishness, and forgetful of the . trouble she had but just escaped, she pro ceeded to prevent any one else from get ting in. "Cover up tho scats well, Milliccnt," the cried, "and do keep that door shut. Oh, tlfunk you, sir."' sho added to one of the men, who seemed to fall in readily with her idea of keeping the carriago to hemso'vci. i There was nothing very remarkable. About Lady Jones' new-found friends. One was a tall, dark man, with a clean shaved face, and very dark eyes which glared out from under tho shade of a black felt hat; tho other was smaller a restless little freckled-faced man, with a short red beard cut and trimmed to a point. They did not look like English men; but they spoke the language fluent ly with a slight accent. i- The firm, somewhat licrce demeanor of the dark man had tho desired cITect. When he said, abruptly, "11 n'y a pas do place," people retired discomfited, and ns time was nearly up, Lady Jones began to hope that thoir privacy and comfort would not be disturbed. Almost at the last moment a man came to the door, importunate and persistent. "Any room?" he asked in English, as . be stood on the doorstep. Then getting no answer, he repeated the question in French. "How many aro you?" Still no answer; so he counted for himself, and went away. Lady Joucs was delighted ; but her tri umph was of short duration. The last arrival came back at onco with a whole posse of French officials at his buck, tho chief of whom, in a voico of authority, repeated the inquiry. "How many are you? Four? More to come? Impossiblo! Tho train is start ing. Entrez, monsicr; cntrcz, vite;" and the next minute tho stranger was bundled into tho carriago, tho door was shut with a bang, tho horns sounded, and the train went oil at express speed. Tho occupants of the carriage, Lady Jones in particular, resented this uncere monious intrusion. "Extraordinary!" she said, in aloud aside to Milliccnt. "People never know when they are in the way," "So forward and presuming!" replied the young lady. "In my country," said the dark man, "men never intrude themselves on ladies. They wait to be asked." "We have a very short way of settling with them if they do," added the shoit man, offensively. "And pray what do you do with them," asked the lust comer, quietly. Ho was cool and self-possessed, with a broad fuco framed in by square-cut gray ish whiskers. His upper lip was clean shaven, showing his linn, rather hard mouth, and his blue eyes were steadv and penetrating. Not a man to be trilled with, in spite of his calm manner and unobtrusive demeanor, "What do" you do with them?" he repeated, looking hard ut tho insolent little red man. "Pitch them out of the window, or on to the lino." "Would you like to do it now?" said the other. "Bo quiet, Thaddy," interposed tho dark man; "remember thero uro ladies present. " "Don't mind lue, gentlemen, if yon wish to give him a lesson." said Lady Jones, who had espoused the part of her first friends. The Englishman looked nt her rather keenly, but made no remark. Nor, al though they continued to talk at him and about him for tho next half hour, did he take any further notice of them, but lead a novel attentively which ho had extracted from his little black bag. By tho timo they reached Amiens, quite a pleasant intimacy had sprung up be tween Lady Jones and tho two.mcn. The four went to tho buffet and breakfasted together. llcturning to their carriago they found that tho Englishman had dis appeared, so they made- merry at his ex pense. Hut they had not done with him yet. Ho was there on tho quay as the train ran alongside tho Boulogne steamer; they saw liim ngain on board with his little hand-bag, and always calm and impcrturablo. Only onco did ho betray tho slightest emotion; it was when a man came up to him as ho stood near the funnel, and, with an almost impercepti ble salute, addressed him as Mr. Hop kinson. . . " "Hush, you fool!" ho replied, angrily. "Don't mention names here."' "It was too late, however; many of thoso nround had heard tho name, and among tho rest tho two men, who were smoking closo by. "Come aft, Thuddous!" whispered tho tall man. "Did you hear that name?" "I did. It must bo that murdering villain himself." "And you, you fool, to' get quarreling with him in tho train!" "Do you think ho has his cyo on us?" "You may take your oath of that." ' 'What in the name of conscience shall we do?" "Leave it to me; I have a dodge, if I can only work it." ; Tho steamer being very crowded, Lady Jones and her party had been unable to secure a private cabin. They had to stay on deck, and in by no means a good place. But, thanks to tho attention of er friends, Lady Jones was made com fortable with rugs and wraps near ono of tho paddlo-boxes, while Milliccnt and tho maid sat closo besido her. The voyage across the channel was not good, and the ladies reached Folkestone in a moro or less battered condition. Now tho strangers, like chivalrous gentlemen, came out in their true colors. Nothing could exceed their kindness. They took infinite trouble to prepare the party for going on shore; they helped tho maid to fold and strap up tho rugs, and made themselves generally useful. Lady Jones was so grateful aud so charmed that bIio begged them to call on her in London, and gave them her address. When tho porters rushed on board, Lady Jones desired one of them to go at once and secure her carriage. "Cun't bo done, mum," he replied. "All the things have to be examined before they let us through to the train." "Absurd!" said her ladyship; "they won't examine mine. I am Lady Jones." Bnt her ladyship was no better than an ordinary person before the law. The custom houso ollicers were inexorable; and, iu spito of her protests, all her small parcels and those of her party, were taken into tho search room, and laid out on the counter. With an imperious wave of the hand, an official ordered her to follow them. To make matters worse, the quiet Englishman, to whom she had been so rude in the train, was standing in tho doorway, talking to two other men, und laughing, us she thought, nt her dis tress. For a moment her two friends were nowhere to be seen. "I never heard of such a thing!" sho said indignantly to Milliccnt, as the offi cious searchers turned everything out of her gold-mounted dressing case, and then proceeded to unroll the rugs. "What do they take us for?" "Everybody is treated ulike.dcar Lady Jones. I suppose they are afraid of Fe nians, or dynamite, or something." ''It is preposterous, disgraceful I Sir John shall write to tho papers I beg your pardon." This was to an official who had said to her twice, "What is this?" A small parcel done up in strong brown paper securely tied and sealed. "I haven't tho least idea. Something of my maid's or Millicent's this young lady here. I really cannot say." But while Bhe chattered on with ac customed garrulity, the custom houso oliieer hud already cut tho strings, un dono tho parcel, aud laid bare a small plain tin case. It had a lid, which was easily opened. Inside wcro a number of slabs of a whity-brown, sugary-looking substance, which might have been tenth-rate choco late or indifferently-mudo "toffee." "Somo sort of sugar," said Lady Jones. "How odd! 1 cannot imagine "' "It's just what I expected," said a quiet voice behiud. Hand it over, Mr. Saunders. This is my allair." "What, Mr. Hopkiuson, are you hero?" "Very much on tho spot this timo, I think, Mr. Saunders. Now, ma'am" to Lady Jones "where uro your other friends?" "How daro you speak to me!" sho re plied, hotly, recognizing her old enemy of tho train. "I am Lady Jones." "Of course, all light," replied tho man called Mr. Hopkiuson. "But there," ho went on, half to himself, "we don't want any scandal or noise. We might lose the others;" und with that ho whispered a few words to an attendant, and drew back into the crowd. The examination- of Lady Jones' bag gage was completed, everything was re packed, und the party proceeded toward the train. Just as they passed the refreshment-room, a railway guard came up, and, touching his cap, buid: "The station master has reserved you a compartment. Please come this way." "How uncommonly civil of him, to bo sure!" cried her ladyship. "I suppose it is to make up for this annoyance. I am really much obliged." Within live minutes the two ladies were stowed away in a carriage by themselves, and the doorsecurely locked. Presoutlv the train run out of the station up the hill to Folkestone town, aud Lady Junes, who was rapidly recovering her equanimity,; after a lew ejaculations of delight at bo-; ing home again, composed herself to sleep in the corner of the carriage. ' But fresh annoyance was , in store for her. At Folkestone Town station tho carrioge was unlocked, and thrco men got in; ono of them, to Lady Jones' in dignation and dismay, was Mr. Hopkin son, with his black bag, which he kept on his knee, "You mustn't como in here," she said loftily; "this carriage is reserved specially for me, I am Lady Jones." "Oh, are you!" replied the other. "It is timo you should know who I am. My name " . "I am sure I don't care to know." "My name is Hopkinson. I nm chief inspector of police from Scotland Yard." "Well," said Lady Jones, still bold, but with much inward misgivings, "I really do not understand !" " . "By this time my men will have ar rested your two confederates your friends who helped you in trying to keep me out of the train at Paris. I knew them all along." "My friends 1 I never met them before this morning 1 " Why, I don't even know their names 1" ....... "That won'tdo. You know as well as I do that they aro Pholim Cossidy and Thaddeus O'Brien, American Fenians " "Gracious Heavens V "With whose connivance you have at tempted to convey dynamite into Eng land a nice little lot of 'Atlas powder,' in slabs too, for convenience in packing.1 " I deny, most positively I I! I! " "Case is too strong against you. Why, tho stuff was found in your pos session, and I have it herein my bag; enough to wreck the whole train." Lady Jones shrieked. " Do you mean to tell me that there is dynamite here in this carriage? Oh, do, please, throw it away !" " Tho concussion would certainly ex plode it, and we should all be blown to kingdom come I Don t bo frightened; you traveled with it nil the way from Paris, and would have carried it on to London yourself." "I assure you I know nothing of this. I am Lady Jones, the wife of Sir John Jones of Hurley street. Millicent, help me to explain who I am." The detective shook his head doubt fully. "It may be as you say; but I don't see my way. Wait till wo get to London. If you can prove your identity, at any rate you may escape being locked up; the magistrate may give you bail." With this cold comfort Lady Jones had to be satisfied, and in dire terror and discomfort she made the rest of the jour ney to London. Hopkinson, it must bo confessed, had already made up his mind that it was as Lady Jones had said ; but he chose to keep her in suspense. On reaching Cannon street, the guard brought him a telegram. The detective read it with strong symptoms of disgust. "Slipped through my Angers! Just when 1 thought I had them, too! It's the very mischief. What shall I do next?" After a pause of deep thought lie turned suddenly to Lady Jones. "Do these men know your London address? Yes? Well, if you will assist us now, I think I can promise that noth ing moro shall be said about this unfor tunate affair. But first, you must be secret, silent as the grave. Can I trust you? And this young lady?" Millicent and Lady Jones answered in a breath, promising to be most circum spect. "My idea now is that these men only planted the stuff on you, hoping it would pass unnoticed ; whether it did or not they would know by the morning papers, which would be sure to publish an ac count of the seizure of dynamite. Well," went on the detective, "no ono must know a syllablo of this; there shall bo nothing in tho papers or anywhere. To morrow or next day they will call nt your house to recover their small parcel, explaining that it slipped in among your rugs by mistake. Ii they do, we have them; do you understand And will you help?" Lady Jones only too gladly assented. That night the house in Harley street was practically iu the possession of the police. Sir John entered into tho spirit of the thing; gave his hall-porter a holi day, and installed Hopkinson disguised in his place. On the third day tho dark man called, sent up his card, and was given the dynamite. As ho left tho houso his companion joined him, and both wore arrested before they had turned tho next corner. The trial, with the examination of Lady Jones, was ono of tho events of the season. London World. What Girls Eat at College. To give an idea as to the quantity con sumed by such a largo family, says tho New York Time, thu following list of a few of tho leading articles furnished Yussar during tho past school year to closo is appendctl : Krcfh meat, Ibi 94,158 I Milk, quarts 88,691 flour, Iba 6b.6oo Ki!g t)i,U0U butter, lbs 14,ji7 Canned vegel- SUL'ar, !! ill, l,sl uhlt-i, cans.... 6,917 Cuflee, lb. S!,tU8 i Mammas tsSS C'urami'ln, lbs 4'5 Oranges Kl.loi lined fruits, lbs 8,646 I e'laius i,fl,iHI Nuis, lbs 1,6.-7 ! l'icklu.4, bottles... os The largest item of expense was for meat, $15,540.52, and the next largest, $-1,044.05 for milk. But if there is ono thing moro than another that the aver age Vasssar student yearns after, it is a nicely browned pancake. Yassar's pan cake griddle is ten feet long and three feet wide, and 2,400 pancakes aie con sumed at breakfast. There are 20,000 oil-producing wells in Pennsylvania, yielding at present 00, 0U0 barrels of oil per day. It requires 5,000 miles of pipe lino und 1,600 iron tanks of an average capacity of 25,000 barrels each to transport and store the oil and surplus stocks. SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT. SKETCHES THAT WIXls DRIVE AWAY THE BLUES. The Itenaon Convenient Location Love'a ApprtUe ot Welffhinsj So Much It Jlothcred the Doctor. "My darling, you never have kissed mo yet," he said. "Haven't I?" she answered, with a gurgling laugh. "Never," he repeated, "and I wish you would now. Will you?" She did. "Ah!" ho sighed, "how sweet it is to feel the pressure of your warm lips on my cheek." "Do you know why my lips are so warm?" sho asked. "Because because," ho stammered. "Because," she broke in, "no ice cream lias passed them for ever so long." Ho took tho hint. Somerville Journal. Convenient Location. City Boarder "I thought you said this place was convenient." Honest Farmer "Yesmarm. Wo have found it very convenient." "But it is two miles from tho station." "Oh, it ain't convenient to the station, of courso. When I said the place was convenient, I was thinking about the ma laria." "Malaria! Good graciousl" "Yes'm. It's mighty convenient then." "In what way, pray?" "We are only half a mile from the cem etery." Philadelphia Call. Love's Appetite. "Did you say love took away a man's appetitet"$remarked the landlady to young Snooks at the table. "Yes, madam. I am deeply in love, and that is my experience,", he responded, with his hand on his heart and a don't-ask-me-for-money-now look in his weak blue eyes. "I begin to think pretty much the same way myself." "Why, madam, are you also touched by tho soft caresses of the little blind god?" he queried, taking another spoon ful of potatoes, a slice of roast beef aud a big hunk of bread. "Well, not hardly," she answered, in a zinc-lined refrigerator tone, "but somo things I have recently seen convince me that it takes away a roan's appetite and ives him a hog's." Snooks did not ask for any desert. Merchant- Traceltr. Not Weighing So Itluch. "You are looking remarkably well, Mr. Litewait, " 6ai.d Crimsonbeak to the young man who he used to see bohind the coun ter in tho village grocery before his ac count rendered it imperative for him to change his provision man. "Do you think so ?" replied tho young man with a bland smile, "I'm not weigh ing as much ns I was." "Why, really," came from Crimson beak, in surprise; "You are looking heavier." "I am heavier," replied the puzzle. "You're heavier, but you don't weigh so much!" exclaimed the astonished man ; "Have you gone crazy, Lite wait 1" "No; not exactly, Mr. Crimsonbeak; but I've gone to work in a carpet store where we don't have any of that to do." "Any of what to do ?" shouted the beacon light. "Weighing!" "Oh!" was all that Crimsonbeak re marked as ho wont out to look for a deep well. Statesman. It Mothered the Doctor. Dr. McCosh is celebrated for his ego tism, and tho best of it is he is never conscious of it. He has a broad Scotch accent, and tho habit of gnawing at the joint of his thumb when busily thinking. Some years ago he was lecturing before tho scuior class in Princeton college. He had been discussing Leibnitz's viow of the reason of evil, to the effect that man kind was put upon tho earth because there was less evil here than elsewhere. One of tho seniors inquired, "Well, doctor, why was evil introduced into tho world ?" "Ah!" snid the doctor, holding up both hands, "ye have asked the hardest qiics tion in all feeloscphy. Suckkrates tried to answer it and failed ; Plato tried it, aud failed; Kahnt attempted it and made bad work of it; Leibnitz tried it, and ho begged the whole quesiion as Pvo been tellin'ye; and I confess" (gnawing at his thumb knuckle) "I confess I don't know what to make of it myself." Troy A Western paper says that a wild woman is running at largo in tho moun tains in Oregon. But whether her wild ness was caused by the refusal of a hus band to crown her with a $17 bonnet or tho declination of her young man to help to shingle tho roof of tho village ice cream dealer does not uppeur. Mate man. "Ouida" says of ono of her heroines, "that when bhe smiled, her smile wus soi. and sudden, like tho smile of ono who I hears fair tidings in the heurt unspoken." i Soft and sudden, eh? Should say that i was like a blow in tho ear from a tomato that had retired from active life; but, perhaps, Ouida's sn;ilo is in better taste. Loicell Vitisen. The liev. W. II. Key, a colored preacher of Tennessee, inude with his own hands the bricks of his church, and now he owns church wotiertv worth $10,000 and a people. congregation of 1,000 NEWS AND NOTES FOR WOMEN. Chalk-white lace is again in vogue. White embroidered mull tics aro re vived. Sleeves grow fuller and larger in tho armhole. j Skirts grow fuller and bustles moro bouffant. ; White and black lace scarfs are revived for neckwear. There aro now 155 women students in Boston university. Tho horsc-hair cushion is tho latest form of the bustle. Fifty-seven American women writers were born in Maine. Mrs. Celia Thaxter, the writer, owns a large farm Ht Kittery, Me. Mrs. A. T. Stewart, of New York, is the richest widow in the world. AVomen voted at Clinton, N. Y., on tho question of a water works tajc. Nearly 5,000 women are employed in tho various government offices in Eng land. Tho poke of Valenciennes or Oriental lace is the bonnet to wear with lace and muslin dresses. Decatur county, Iowa, has a girl who captured and sold fifteen wolves during mo last season. , Dotted net veils are not worn at all. They have been superseded by the plain ones made of colored tulle. A late fashion is to send presents of flowers in baskets locked with a tiny pad lock, each person having a key. In San Francisco all of the day district telegraph work is done by women. They are paid from $40 to $60 a month. Some of the summer parasols are so pretty that it seems almost a pity to ex- I pose them to being faded in the sun. ine wile or li. J Fisler, tho Camden baseball player, is said to be the first real Chinese lady ever seen in this country. A Cuban always smokes two packages of cigarettes and four or five cigars a day. The women and children do nearly the same. A fancy is for "rose pokes;" they are simple black or white straw pokes with the whole brim hidden by clusters of deep red roses without leaves. A favorite way of sewing on lace this year is gathering the lace, then sewing it on the wrong side, turning and catch ing it down at intervals, making a puff. Miss Sarah O. Jewett is considered to bo the handsomest woman author in Bos ton, with perhaps the exception of Miss Blanche Howard, who wrote "Ono Sum mer." The old fashioned challie a light woolen fabric with which some silk is woven is revived for summer dresses. Tho ground is light in color aud is strewn with llowers. Mauy skirts of silk ai.d broche are cut into tabs of various forms at the bottom, with thickly gathered or pluited ruches of plain silk set on underneath to make them set out. Tho old-fushioned challie a light woolen fabric with which somo silk is woven is revived for summer dresses ; the ground is light incolor und is strewu with flowers. Poppy red and jonquil yellow crapes are used by those who do not employ either flowers or feathers on round huts. A twisted scarf around the crown is used as trimming. WTild millinery plants are the last in vention. By this term is mount grasses of every kind, tied in little bundles which show tho stalks, and fastened on the hat with a brooch or clasp. French grey of th; palest shade, ecru and violet colors are very stylishly used iu crapes of different texture, and also iu tullo for bonnets to match costumes of cashmere of shot silk, foulard, etc. A Western physician writes pathetically to u newspaper complaining of tho con duct of a female doctor who has taken away all his patients, and left him aud his family on the brink of starvation. German cross-stitch still holds its own among needlework. It is very useful for tea-table cloths, toilet covers and tho like, and is an easy, comfortable kind of work that does not require any thinking. Mull pokes for the country are trimmed with roses und Valenciennes lace when white mull is used, but for the pale blue, pink and poppy red mull are white lilacs, violets or some llowers of contrasting colors. At a contest in a swimming school at Manchester, England, u young girl swam COO times uround tho bath-house, a dis tance of eight miles, while the best swim mer among tho boys made but 504 rounds. Dotted Swiss lawn, with raised snots and colored printed figures, made with gathered flounces edged with black French lace, with shirred and belled waist, is a showy summer dress for a young lady. A pleasing design for a polonaise has each of the two front pieces of the waist about half u yard wide und laid in folds at the center. At tho belt these cross, and the upper one curves gracefully und loses itself in the folds. Very thin delaine or wool muslin is popular for young ladies' country elivsscs, and may be hud so sheer und of such delicate hues that it is made up over col ored silk linings throughout iu order to give deeper tones aud moro character to the dress. White cambric is greutly used for feto dresses this year, und for children's frocks with broad bands of color us trimming. Thesu uro woven with the dress, aud very pretty frocks are made by trimming with bauds of red, piuk, blue or old gold strips. New Mexico has y, 000,000 sheep and 2,000,000 catilo on its 77,50,000 acres of laud. THE KIt'UMEM CLOCK. Knittin? is the maid o' the kitchen, MUly, Doing nothing, sits the chore-boy, Billy: "Seconds reckoned, Seconds reckoned; Every minute, Sixty in it Milly, Billy, Billy, Milly, Tick-tock, tock-tick, Nick-knock, knock-nick, Knockoty-nick, nickety-knock," Goes the kitchen clock. Closer to tho tiro is rosy Milly, Every whit as close and oosey, Billy: 'Time's a-flytng; Worth your trying; Pretty Milly Kiss her, Billy I Milly, Billy, Billy, Milly, Rick-tock, tock-tick, Now now, quick quick 1 Knockety-nick, nickety-knock," Goes the kitchen clock. Something's happened; very red is Milly, Billy boy is looking very silly; "Pretty misses, Plenty kisses; Make it twenty, Take a plenty, Billy, Milly, Milly, Billy, RighUeft, left-right, That's right, all right, Skippety-nick, rippety-knock," Jumps the kitchen clock Night to night they're sitting, Milly, Blllyl Oh, the winter winds are wondrous chilly! "AVinter weather, Close together; Wouldn't tarry, Better marry. Milly, Billy, j Billy, MiUy, I Two-one, one-two, I Don't wait, 'twont do, Knockerty-nick, nickerty-knock," Goes the kitchen clock Winters two have gone, and where is Millyl Spring has come again and where is Billy? .'Give me credit, For I did it; lreat me kindly, Mind you wind me. Mr. Billy, Mistress Milly, My Oh, Oh my, By-by, by-by, Nickety-knock, cradle rock," Goes the kitchen clock. John Vance Cheney, in the Century.. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Armed to the teeth A dentist. The woman question May I order a new bonnet? Tho requisites for the best kind of a "batter" can bo ascertained by carefully reading the baseball news. Eight dogs will buy a wife in Siberia, ' but after you have seen a Siberian woman you marvel that dogs should bo so cheap. Hawkey e. Wilmington, N. C, has a baschallist whose name is Stitch. They hope he will prove tho Stitch in time that saves nine. Yonker Gazcttt. It was an unhnppy flamingo, Who said: "Tuny have shot me, by jingo! I must pick up my bits As 1 gather my wits, And evolve where the deuce did my wing go? Harvard Lampoon. A poem published in a Brooklyn paper commences: "Come back, sweet memor ies." Ah! yes; let us think of those old days when a 50-cent sun-bonnet wa good enough for any lady. Philadelphia Call. A blacksmith advertised for a helper who "must bo as quick as lightning." The first man who applied for tho situa tion carelessly picked up a hot horse shoe, and the blacksmith hired him at once. "What do you suppose makes so many worms get on me?" asked a young man at a Sunday-school picnic. "I don't know," replied the young lady who was with him, "unless it is because worms are so fond of green things." Burling ton Fret Press. Olives in Greece. Our host took us to insprct an olive-oil factory, of which thero are several in Pyrghi, so that the stream which waters tho village is brown with olive juice, like water tinged by pout in an Irish bog. Here they use no machinery or modern appliances in pressing tho oil; merely the old primitive wootlcn press. Women, or sometimes mules, wulk round and round revolving a wheel which crusher; tho olives; in this condition they put them into sacks, and then into that, "black-faced heifer which devours oak wooil," a3 the t'hiotes in their figurative way uro wont to describo their ovens. Tho sacks aro then placed one over tho other iu tho press, und two men turn a post, which pulU a rope, which drags a stick, which tightens tho press, aud tho oil oozes into tho receptacle) prepared for it, with water inside. The oil aud water of course do not umalgamato, the dregs sink to the bottom, and the pure oil flows into jars prepared for it. It is impossible to realize tho affection people have for olives in a purely olivo growing country. "An olive with a kernul gives a boot to a man," is u truo adugo with them.. It is :lri priucipul fattening und sustaining food in a coun try where hurdly any meat is eaten. It takes the place of the potato ju Ireland, and on the olive crop depends the welfare of many. An olive yard is presented to tho chinch by way of glebe, and tho pesanls collect on u stated el iv to rather these sacred olives, which they buy from the church, and alwuys ut the highest n.aiket value. Luar.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers