HUMOROUS PRESS STORIES. latjcjhablt: links fbom ihb ruir NT uin s miv or EVMOS. Place tor Hi Cowratclier Iln nicln't JKnirnsre Her linked Hoatl Dlf ustrt Crinhrd 'Ilnxcnt." ri,ACK ron Tim cowcatcher. Of tho countless pood stories attributed to Artomns Ward, one of tho best is the ono which tolls of tho advice ho gavo ton Southern rnilrond conductor soon after the wnr. Tho road was in a wretched condition, and the trains consequent ly were run at a phenominally low rate of speed. When the conductor w as punch ing his ticket, Artemus remarked: "Does this railroad company allow pas sengers to give advice, if they do so in a respectful manner?" The conductor re plied in grull tones that ho guessed so. "Well." Artemus went on, "it occurred to mo that it would be well to detach the cowcatcher from tho front of tho engine and hitch it to the rear of tho train. For you see wo are not liable to overtake a cow, but what's to prevent a cow stroll ing into this car and biting a passenger!" tjk didk't exoaqk iter. A young lady went to an intelligence oflico the other day, and, as thero was no girl in at the time, sat down to wait for ono. She is a Jefferson avenue belle, and leads tho gay procession in society circles ; she is also a good daughter and model housekeeper, taking alt the care of a large establishment off her mother's ageing Rhouldors. As she sat and waited in tho intelli gence ollico a gentleman whom she knew came in to get a girl; she had met him at a social reception a few nights pre vious, he in full evening dress, she in a costume of pink silk and Spanish lace, with roses in her hair, lie had whispered sweet words of admiration to her, and she had blushed beneath his too ardent gaze. It was only a reliearsil of that foolish old play, "Love's Young Dream," but it had left pleasant memories with both. She could not help showing she was glad to meet him again, and half rose. But he passed her to speak to the woman at the desk, who supplied "help" to do mestic Macedonia. "My brother's family are in need of a girl, Mrs. . Can you send ono up there to-day?" "No, sur," said the woman, stolidly, "tha' ain't one in now." "Why won't this one do?" asked the gentleman, curtly, turning upon tho young lady, who, in her plain walking dress and veiled turban at trembling with apprehension. "La, now, she ain't no girl," said the mistress of the intelligence, but the cus tomer paid no attention to her. "See here, Miss, or Mrs. what s Tour name," he asked, abruptly, "can you do general housework, wash, iron and cook? If you can and are worth your Bait, you can get tho place d'ye hear?" Tho girl shrunk hastily from his ex tended hand, and ho asked : "Aro you a German or a Swede? Bo cause if you can't speak English we don't want you. What's the matter with you? Ain't deaf and dumb, aro you?" By this time the indignant girl had collected her wits, and, rising from her chair, she walked out, leaving him star ing after her. "She will meet and she will miss him, There will be one vacant stare." But ho will never know what fate did for him in the intelligence office. Detroit Free Press. ence with the president of tbe college, and tho same day tho champion, who boro tho appearance of a meek-looking young man with eye-glasses and a bad cough, was entered as a student and as signed a room in tho dormitory. That night about twenty of the "Wahoos," as tho hazors called them selvos, stolo softly to tho new member's room. Having arranged thoir "ear twisters," "too pinchers "and other in struments of torture to their satisfaction, they took off their coats, rolled up their sleeves and tupped gently on tho door of their victim, who mildly invited them in. Tho invaders lit the gas, and beheld tho new comer lying in bed, smoking a cirrarcttc. nnd bcniffnlv regarding the mob through his goggles. " Get up there, Freshie. Wo'ro going to have some fun with you," they said. "Not really?" said tho victim, with a hollow cough. "Yes; look spry now I" "Well, if I must, I suppose I must," whimpered the new man, jumping out on tho floor. Tho next moment the ring leader of tho inquisitors got a " facer " that drove him clear across the room and through tho sash of a window. The survivors of what followed all agree that language fails to do justice to the scene. Sullivan kicked tho door shut, aud then sailed in and began pil ing up the dead. Some of them didn't get around again for three wccki, and half a dozen badly flattened " Sullivan" noses can be seeu in this year's gradu ating class. This is tho story most of our readers have heard. The result was to entirely abolish " hazing" at Princeton until the beginning of tho present session, when the old custom started in with renewed vigor. A student named Harrison, from Cleve land, learned that his "den" was to be raided upon a certain night. That day he repaired to tho outskirts of tho town, and by means of a cabbage, decoyed to his room, under cover of darkne s, a pe culiarly vigorous and vindictive billy goat, the terror of that quarter. lie had kept, the animal in a pacific frame of mind by much provender until the hour for the assault. "When the freshman heard the stealthy gathering of the class outside tho door, he turned off the gas; gave tho goat a few jabs with a Eenknife to liven it up, and dodged bo ind the door. As soon as tho besiegers had rushed in he shut the door, locked it, and hastily climbed upon the wardrobe, being just in time to escape the first rush of tho billy, who knocked three men over the bed the very first biff. The pandemonium of shrieks, curses and butts lasted for some five minutes. Then a forlorn hope of battered hazers managed to grope their way to tho dooi and tear it open. As thev tumbled out into the now crowded hall half a hundred excited voices asked what the mattei was. 'Matter?" casped one of the worst used up of the gang, "Why, they've rung that isuluvan in on us again 1" Han ifrancisco Post. A BAKED BEAN DISASTER. Probably a3 laughable a thing as has been seen in a long time took place at Janc8ville at the Grand Army reunion a couple of weeks ago. There was to bo a baked beau banquet for the visiting vet erans, and half the families in town fur nished a pan of baked beans for the oc casion, sending them to the armory late in the afternoon piping hot. A couple of boys, sons of a soldier, were entrusted with a largo pan of red -hot baked beans to take downtown, and they put the pan on a hand-sled and started. Arriving at tho top of the big hill, where the road runs straight down into the business street, the temptation to ride down was too great, and tho boys got on the sled with tho pan of beans in lront of them, steamintr hot. They started. Every crossing they struck a gob of the beans would fly out, and before they were half down tho hill the boys were cov ered with beans from head to foot. They , shut their eves and let the sled "went." A girl stood by a crossing as they passed, ana as the sled struck a hummock, handful of beans hit the girl in the hair, and as the hot mass began to heat up she felt that tho hairs of her head were num bered, and put her hand to her head, and when the beans burned her hand she veiled fire and went away on a irallop. A dog ran along beside the sled and barked at the boys, but a quart of beans struck tne cioir ana tue weather wa3 too warm for him, and he ran away with a hot box The sled finally turned over and boys, Deans ana sicu roilou ana sua for half block, and tho street was paved with good intentions and bakod beans, The boys got up, scraped the bean7 off ol ineir ciotnes, thought tho matter over a minute, when each took hold of a side of the empty pan. and they carried down to the armory, and reported to the committee on beans. The circumstance was reiatea to tho soiaic-rs, and the empty pan, the hand-sled and the boys decorated with beans created as much amusement for the old veterans as uny one min. SELECT 8IFLING9. There were 827 granaries in ancient Rome. The Jewt were the first to divide timo by weeki. At a sale of autographs and relics at Baltimore, ono hair from tho head of Henry Clay sold at thirty cents. In tho year 1591 Queen Elizabeth used a thousand vessels of glass and silver at ono banquot. Wines, if n;ado in Eng land, were boiled with spico nnd sugar; the best wines were brought from Spain nnd Franco. According to tho Mediml luwrd, in surance tables show that a man who ab stains from alcohol has, nt twenty years of ago, a chance of living 44.2 years; at thirty. 38.5 years; at forty, 288 years. An intemperate man s chance nt twenty is 15.0 years; at thirty, 13.8, and at forty, 11.0. The relative efficiency of electricity, gas and oil for uso in lighthouses is being tested in England, where tho Trinity board has selected certain ranges nbout three miles inland from tho South Foro- land lighthouse as lines of observation, along which measurements are to be made. These experiments aro expected to last several months. Recent investigations mado in .Ger many go to show that sleep is very Tight during tho first hour alter consciousness ceases, but grows deeper rapid ly, ana becomes most profound in nn hour nnd three-quarters, lightening lrom that time up to five hours nnd a half, when a reac tion toward deeper sleep occurs, after which the slumbcrer awakens. A curious looking team attached to a light buckboard recently attracted the attention of the pedestrians of Chico, Cal. The team consisted of two im mense bucks with very large antlers. Their harness was made entirely from buckskin. The owner is a Digger In dian, who spends most of his timo riding about in this novel way, hunting. Female quadrupeds havo more endur ance than mules. In the human race, de spite the intellectual and physical strength of the man, tho woman endures longest and will bear pain to which the strongest man succumbs. Zymotic diseases are more fatal to males, nnd more male children dio than females. Deverga as serts that tho proportion dying suddenly is about 100 women to 780 men; 1,080 men in tho United States in 1870 com mitted suicide to 285 wotiou. Intem perance, apoplexy, gout, hydrocephalus, affections of the heart and liver, scrofula, paralysis, are far more fatal to males than females. Pulmonary consumption, on the other hand, is more deadly to the latter. A ntTNTrrrs ktoiit, Itaw IT V Ovwrn If P 0iitoiiI nnd t'in Wfiy fI M 111(11 110 VIKK riimiiv rMITM. ('orivtomh'nnfi Hirit of fln 'liim'.) rhcpntx rrtornl cures cold and cough. 23. Camphor Milk euros achmt ami vain. The Declaration Fading Out. Few people know that the original Declaration of Independence is kept in tho library of the state department, says a Washington letter. It is in a cherry case and under glas9. Uut tho doors are thrown open all day long and strong rays of light are eating up its ink day by day. The Constitution is written on parchment. The text of it is in a hand as tine as copper-plate and the ink of this part can still be plainly read. The signatures, however, are written in a diilerent ink, and they are very fast dis appearing under tho action of the light. The boia signature oi John Hancock is faded almost entirely out. Only a J, o, h and an II remain. Two lines of names are entirely removed from the paper; not a vestige of ink remains to show that names were ever there. Ben Franklin's name is entirely gone. Roger Sherman's name is fast fading. I could not find tho name of Thomas Jefferson, andElbridge Gerry has lost his last syllable. Robert Carroll and John Adams have been scoured off by the light, and only eleven names out of tho htty odd can be reaa without a microscope. Just below the constitution lies the original of it in Jefferson's handwriting. It is on foolscap paper, yellow with age, and worn through where the manuscript has been folded. The writing is hne and close, and the whole constitution occu pies but two pages. The ink is good, and it remains as fresh as when it left the quill of Jefferson over 100 years ago. It is full of erasures and interlineatipns, some of which are in Franklin s hand writing and others in the strong scriptof John Adams. Correspondence CUceland Leader. CRUSHED " HAZERS." Everyone knows of the trick that was played some two years ago by a fresh man at Princeton college, at which time the custom of "hazing" in a really brutal manner was so prevalent there". The hazing gang of sophomores that year were bo rougli and cruel that tho faculty was at its wit's end to devise some means for its suppression. One or two cases of severe unl lasting bodily injuries to tho victim 4 placed so serious an asp;ct upon matters, th.it applicants for scholarships were few. At'thU juncture tho father of a new man, whj hii incurred tho en mity of the hacrs by stubbornly resist ing their attacks, conceived an ingenious idei. lie quietly hunted up Sullivan, ook biui up to Princeton, hud a confer- Harvesting Ice. Some idea of tho magnitude of the ice industry iu America may bo gathered from the fact that it supports a monthly trade paper, and that the total annual ice-crop of the States is twenty million tons, of which some twelve million tons are consumed. Mining and storing this ice has given rise to a separate branch of engineering, and special implements for the purpose. There are scrapers of various kinds to remove tho snow; tracers, or hand-plows, to mark out the areas to bo cut by grooves. These grooves are afterward deepened by a tool, called a marker, fitted with knife edges, which, on being lowered to the ice, cut it deeply. The ice-area is cut and cross-cut with these tools, then trenched or -wn by tho ice-plow shown in the figure, until two-thirds of the totnl thickness is cut through. This plow consists of a succession of curved blade like teeth attached to a long beam. The teeth are so formed as to clear themselves, and carry tho chips out of the groove with little resistance. A channel is cut by the above means between tho ice-field and the elevators which raise the blocks into tho ice-houses. The blocks are then loosed by ice-chisels, floated to the eleva tors, and raised by steam-power on end less chains workiug up an inclined plane. The ice-rooms are built ono hundred feet long by forty feet wide, and the ice-cakes are placed so as to. leave a three-iach space all around to prevent undue wuht Ug when broken out for summer usa. The cost of ull this preparation ia only twenty-five ccata per oa. C'aWi'i Mayatine, "Colds" and "Chills." Says tho London Lancet : What is a cold? It is a disturbance of the balance between the several parts of the ncrvoui system, brought about by tho shock of a sudden or prolonged exposure to tho do pressing effect of "chill;" although the samo physiological results may bo pro duced in tho organism by tho operation of any agent which is capable of giving the nervous system a similar shock, and thus creating tho same kind of disturb ance. Nature's provisions against the consequences of a "chill" aud for the prevention of a "cold" are sneezing and shivering. A violent fit of sneezing of ten saves a chilled body the consequences of tho nerve depression, or "shock," to which it has been subject; and this shock may in its first impression be very limited in its nrea; for example, tho small extent covered by a draught of cold air rushing through the erevice of a door or window. The nerve centers are nroused from their "collapse" by the commotion or ex plosive influence of tho sneeze. If sneezing fails, nature will try a shiver, which acts mechanically in the same way. If this fails, the effects are likely to be veiy serious, and bad consequences may ensue. The popular notion reverses the order of events, nnd hence tho say ing: "If thero is sneezing tho cold will be slight, if there is shivering it will be grave ;" whereas it is slight when sneezing suffices to recover tho nervous system quickly from its depression, nnd "grave when even strong shivering fails to do so. In case of chill, with threatened cold, sneezing may be produced bv a pinch of snuff of any kind. This is how some of the vaunted "cures of cold by snutl are brought about. Or brisk exercise may ward off the attack. The popular idea is that the circulation is restored by these remedies, but tho true explanation is that the nervous system and centers are aroused. The first step toward an intel ligent treatment of chill and cold is a scientific recognition of their nature. Cleveland, Ohio. The Daily Anzeigcr says: "Chief Super; intendent of police, J. W. Schniitt, of this city, who has been in the service a quarter of a century, endorses St. Jacobs Oil as a pain-banisher. It cured him of rheumatism." They have counted 319 sorts of insects that eat the leaves or bore into the trunks of trees in Central park. New York city. A Htilcn.ll.l Dnll-y Is one that yields its owner a goul profit through the whole seaa.in. Hut he must sup ply the cows with what thev need in order luf them to be able to ke: up their product. When their butter gets liht in ivilor lie must make it "gilt edged ' by usiii Wells.Riohara tion & Co's., Improved Butter Color. It gives the golden color of June, and adds Ove tenia per pouud to the value of the butter. For twenty-five years I have been afflicted with Catarrh so that I have been confined to my room for two months at a time. 1 have tried all the humbu "s in hopes of relief but with no mico.'ss until I met with an old friend who had used Ely's Cream lalm and advi-od rnetoiryit. 1 procured a bottle t lease him, and from tho first application 1 foiiim lelief. It is the best remedy 1 ever tried. W. C. Mathews, Justica of J'eoee, Shenandoah, la. Fob DTsrersiA, indkiehtion, depression of spir its and general debility in their various forum, also as a preventive anaintit fever and ague and other intermittent fi vers, the "Ferro-I'lifiaphor. ated Elixir of C'aUsaya," mado by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York, and sold by all brut; gists, ia the best tonic ; and for patients recover, lug from fever or other sickness it has no eijuuL You would use St. Tatrick's Kalve if you know the good it would do you. Virus of all diseaws arises from the blood Samarium Nervine cures all blood (li-Hirilers- Ur. J. A. 1 'at mi .re, of Kiley, lnd., iruly re marks: Samaritan Kwvina cures epiljpsy- An unusual ndventure which rrwntly no curral to your correspondent While hunt Ins at Urooknioro, in this Slate, is so timely ami contains so much 1 lint enn be mado valuable to nil readers, that I venture o reproduce it entire: 'J'ho Hay was a mrKt Inclement one and the mow qiiita deep. Hnbbit tracks were plenti ful, but they principally led t i the direction of a lnrge swamp, in which the rabbits could run without diflleulty, but. wheiethe hunter enntantly broke through the thin iee. sinking into the half-frozen miro to his kneps. Notwithstanding theso (UDlculties, the writer lad persevered, although a very sn-nll bar. of gnnui was the result. 'While tramping nKiut through a particularly malnrinl portion of the swamp, a middle o;ed man mddenly came into view, carrying a niuKzle-londing shotgun and completely loaded down with game of tho finest description. Natural curiosity, aside from tho Involuntary envy that in stinctively arose, prompted the writer to en t.. r into conversation with the man, with the following result: "You've had fine success where did you get all thnt game "Kight here, in the swnmp." "It's pretty rough hunting in these parts, especially when a man goes up to his waibtj every other step." " es, it's not very pleasant, but I am used to it and don't mind it." 'How long have you hunted hereabouts. " "Why, blesj you," I tave lived here most of my life aud hunted up to ten years ago ever year." "How does it happoa you omitted the last ton yenrsr" "He.'nuso 1 was pcarcotyal'.etoniove,mucli less hunt." "1 don t understand you?'' "AVell, you see, about ten years ngo, after I had been tramping around all day in the Fame swamp, 1 lelt i.uile a pain in my ankle. I diiiu't nund it very much, but. it kept, troubling n.o or a day or two, and I could tot that, it kept inc r 'a-ing. The next thing I knew, I felt the mi mo kind ot a ) am in my shoulder and 1 found it pained ma to mov'o my arm. This thing kept going on and In creasing, and though 1 tried t skake orT the feeling and make myself think it was only a liltlo temporary trouble, 1 found that it did not go. (Shortly after this my joints began j to nehn nt the knees and I filially became, so : a 1 that 1 had to remain ill the house most of the time." "And did you trace nil this to tho fact that you had huute 1 so much in this swHinpf' "No, I didn't know what to lay it tof but I knew that I was io misery. My jointa swelled until it seemed as thouuh all the flash " had left was bunched at tho joints; my Angers crooked in 'every wny, and some of them became doub'e-jomted. In fact, every joint in my IkxIv seemed to vio with the others to see which could become the largest and cause me tho greatest suffering. In this way several years j assid on, during which time 1 was pretty nearly helpless. 1 been me so nervous and sensitive that I would sit bolstered up in the chair a.id call to people mat entered tne room not to come near me, nr even touch my chair. While all this was iroing on, I felt an awful burning bent one. (ever, with icca-uonal dulls running nil over my body, but especially along my buck ana through my shoulders. Then again my blood Feemed to be boiling and my brain to be ou fire." "Didn't ycu try to prevent all this agony!" "Try! 1 should think 1 did try. 1 tried (very doctor that came within my reach and all tho proprietory medicines 1 could hear of 1 used washes oil 1 liniments enough to lost me tor all time, but the only relief 1 received wai by injections of morphine." "Well, you talk in a very strange manner for a man who has tranied around on a day like this and in a swamp like this. How iu the world do you dare to do iU" "Because 1 am completely well and as sound as a dollar. It may seun strange, but it is true, that I was entirely cured; the rheumatism all driven out of liiy blood; my joints reduce I to their natural si.e, and my strength mode as great a ever before, by means of thnt great and simple remedy, W ar ner's hafo Kheumatio Cure, which 1 believe saved my life." " And so you now have no fear of rheuma tism f" " Why, no. Even if it should come on, I can easily get rid of it by using the same remedy." " The writer turned to leave, aa it was grow ing dark, but before I had reached the city precisely she same symptoms X had just heard described came upon ine with great violence. Impressed with the hunter's story, I tried the same remedy, and within twenty-four hours all pain aud iiit'.aimuation had disappeared. If any reader is sull'ering from any manner of rheumatic or neuralgic troubles and de sires relief let him by ad means try this same great remedy. And if any readers doubt tho truth of the above incident or its statements, let them write to A. A. Coates, Hi ookmere, N. V., who was ttie man with whom the writer conversed, and convince themselves of its truth or falsity, J. R. C. ALL goods manufactured in the New Jersoy State prison must lie so stamjed. Sly daughter wa troubled with Heart Dis ease for five years, givon up by physiHans, i a i sinking site is, constant pain, great swell ing over her heart extending to left arm, and severe sjhjIIs of neuralgia extending over en tire body, doctors could not help her. Dr. C. raves' Heart llegulator cured her within three months. James Tilton, Concord, N. 1 1. $1 ter bottle at ilruireists. The supply of oranges is short of the de runnd in Florida, Tbe Iiorlor'4 Indorsement. Dr. W. 1). Wright, Cincinnati, O., send) t he subjoine I profess onal indorsement: "1 have prescribed Dr. Wm. Hall's lia'sam foi tho Lun;s in a great numler of cases ami always w ith mi ce s. One eve in artloulai wai given up by several physicians who hat! b to ealle 1 iu for 101, sulfation with myself The atient l ad ull the symptoms of con firmed consum tion cold night sweats, hec tic fever, harassing c nighs, et . Ho co n ineneed iiiin.edia'ely to get better, and win soon restored to his usual heilth. I alsc found Dr. Wm. Hall's Hulsam for the Lumh the most va'uahle exiectorant for breaking up distressing coughs and colds." The medical prof ssion are slow (and right ly so) to indorse every new medicine that is advertised aud sold; but honest merit con vinces tho fair-minded after a reasonable time. I'hysiciaiis in good standing often prescribe Mrs. l'inkhani's Vegetable Com pound for the cure of female wtaknesses. GREAT REI 37OTlL Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backachs. Heariactia, Toothache or-Thrat,lwelHn.tlrnlti,llrtll, Inrio. wenlls. ' IHica. !D ALL OTIIKB IMIIIII.f TUNS ! ftlHKa. Bold bl OruifliUsnH ninviTTh"i. KinyCmus bolll. lllrtrtlnnt Is II l.liwrs. . trnw HUM a. VOOKI.KIt CO. YNtr-nu Th wn of f IUblt dlnratio which, while acting M utirrulnntof to kid n, nolthvr licit! tmr Irrltatwi tlim, wn Ittng tunc intv tillfd by lliwtttr,t HtoinftfliHtltettL Tin tin nmihctn ixrt th T'iniimto tlrirr of tumilMinn mon th'w. onrnt, without lirotUirthff irHia'.l n, ml ia, thorofnre, fM iUfr mliiptm. fur the ptiriMwa than un niitH'ftted eitnU oftn rwnnrtM to. ltilpBl. Ct'T "d ftttuft. and kindred riipowfl arw all curtn! tT it. hor aaln bjr all I'ntffffiiita and L ni t nerlljr. L)ral 0 ."WTLBOE-S OOMPOUira 0? PURE COD LIVES OIL AHD LIHE. To ("nnNiitimllvrn. Mnnv Imvr brrn hnnny objitib their tlnimnjr In faor of thnwof "H iiW fiir fW.f.irer i( and 7.im." Kiparianca htia inTd it lo hi a valuahl rim1y fur CUmnumplion. Athma, Diphtheria, and all d ma win of tha Throat and THE STARTLING Information TlroTered In n NeP" l'nrnBraph nnd How It Navrd a I.tf. Ho pain which man hua to ondura oqnatt th irTl, "I would rather dl," oicUlmt Iht ptlnt, "than ban mich atUcika rj often." Grata! forml In the Ttwn bmtawnot thalmpurlttM of th blood, and i prat kill among all olaaana. Ik oanned tha death of Na poleon lit. Mr, E. Dewltt Panona, of V Ftyraoatk ATe.,fltwhtr, H. Y, reeentlj had a remarkable eipa. nonce with It. lta hi a well-knit, Bne-looklni, hearty appearing gentleman. Ono dat be wae proatratad with pain from the email of hli batik lot he abdomen. Fa sometime pretlmia his appetite had teea flokle, hla bowels Inaetlre, and be had felt tore afwn hla bipe. After roldlng water he had a aorere pain arfd gnawing aenaatlon. ' ' For aome Ulna m dlaorder mrelllTed wie," heaald, "but one day I read of a oaae Terr Hire own In a paper. I wrote the person wtlnn name p peared, and he confirmed It fullr. From that llllle Inv oldent I dlooT-rd t had etono In the bladder and gravel in the kidneye. I waa grnatll alarmed then. but the dleeaee haa lord, lta terrora 1 me now. for I an) fnllr rwooTmwd-enred br lilt. IIAVIII KKNNE- IlV'ta FATO KITH KK.IIKIM. (of Hondout, N. T.) which I moat eordlallj eommend to all peraoni luftSTliig fr im kidney dlwrdera, pain in back, atone ol gratel. Mjf wife alao regarda It aa eapeolellr eioellenl for worsen. Under theeflecieof thle medicine luenj eaaea of atone and gravel hare been perfect1? eured and the tendency to It re formation prerented. Dr. Kennedy haa performed many aorgloal operationa for the remote! of atone by the knife when alae prerented removal through the natural ohannrlt, and he hai never lint a cae! and the pauae la due to bla nalng FAVOKITK Ui::UKI)Y In the after treatment. eeeeeee " . . LYDIA E. PINKMAWi oj e e VEGETABLE COMPOUND isa rosm vb cr nr. for All th oe painful (omplalnla and Wfukneaeca common e e e e f o nor boat - -w . v ft .wittf-v e e rleel latleel, staar leeeeaeferak efta earjKiw ll mMt f r f livlHmntr yig ef dier.ll nnl rrlir.f f J""", and "'.'' it rl.Omelu tlo, Ihoummln of luitirl can ofudfy IrtHf. " e It will cure entirely ell Ovartnn trouble". Inflamma tion end t itration. Felling end Hlilnoementa, enl e inurnment Hptiml Week mine, ami inparllrulnrlvatf! e.ltotSie I'liamre of Life. e e It remoree Kalntnea,HetiltenoT, dwrtrnTeall craving for a! hniilaiila, end n-llevre Weak new of the Htomarh. It cuie lll.uitliur, lleedarhee. Nervoue rrontretlcn. Urnernl rtllltv. Bl.viline, llepiiwl.in and Indl ire'tl.in. Thet feelliiuof iMtvilnir il.iwn, ceualiiir peln, and liafkai'lie, U elwayn pcniiKtii'ntlr cured liylte uee. Mend eteinn tol.vnn. Mrms.,fnnmmiiltlet. I-ettereof 'II, rr pnirui .irsyyip... I'tinse. Il.nt Mamilaoturml imlyliy A. 11. Wll,BOB,i;betnit, Mini ny an oniKKone. k Inquiry coiifldrtit tally aimwori-il. C ATA R R H ELY'S CREAMBALM .T. . 1- T ee a 7 whan applied by the Aa Into tha noatrtls will baahaorbad, alTaot nally olranainf the haad of catarrhal Tinia, eaua. intj haalthy taoratlona. It aliaya Inflammation, prntoetathe mem bran a of tha naaa paaaajrel from additional eolda. oompletrly heala tha anrea and restorea taata and amall, A few ap. plication rehaTa. A thorough treatment will panitivtty eur. Ajrre able to uae. Sena fur eifmUr PRICK .0 CFTrTS, BY MAIL OR AT DRUOGHJTS. HAY-FEVER XX.-NQTICE.-XX. AS BLUE FLANNEL GARMENTS 4lf1nrVtln limkllt v ef fiaedl aro enld aa the " genuine Mlddleaca." which are not made liy ttint mill. The Mlddleara Company, In order In liroveci ineir cuawiniera ami uie pHinn-.nnp n...i. ih iUherealter all Cliithiuit made from THE 11111B-ui.- ? ur a Mil k nn iviiliul l.l.l'K I.-T.ANNKLH AND Y AOIIT CLOTIIH. aol.i hv all leading clothlera, niuat lie.ir the "SILK. II AMiiKKH," iiruianca 0 uie oeuuig Amenta to all purUea ordering the ooda WENDELL, FAY It. CO., MCl.l.lli Aiir.i'ilN, M I lun.r.nr. ini..., aud HH Worth Ht . New York: at Krnnklia BU. Botlou ; 14 Cueatuut Bt. , I'buadelplna. A lipoiiirjir IxMidon Thyw Irian retabliebr Oltlreln Now York lor I bo Cure of EPILEPTIC FITS: ' IVimAmJournalofilcdKitui Ir. Ab. Veaerole lete of Indnn),who makea a ape rlalty of Fpllupey, haa without doubt treated end cured jnort, CBRee linn any oilier nvinK iiyiciin. t; wo na Vi ILI O W haa pimply hewn anlonlBljtnff ; Ilka lacoflBB a hard of caaaa of over so years' standing aucceaabitiy curetl by hitu. Ila baa publttlit'd a tn k on thm dkseaae, which ho aentta wlihi larpo bottloof It la wont)rful euro fruo tn any nif fonr whti may aend their k press and K O. Addraa, V a4VAattiiy una wIhMhk acme to adUretta ir. Alt. Mi-iil&l.OLAH hu. m Juha 8Ut New York. Q OODN EWS TO LADIES I (ireatewt indiicsinfiita ever of Vred, Now a your lim to f't up iirdcra for our clurttd IVhm aiuU'oMrpM.and noiir abeauti 1 nl l..iit Kml nr Miau Koati t'hina 'IVaHi. or iiniidtM.m lirrid ifs ltooe Dinner Set. r itold Hand Muaa Dei'i r.iieil Toili-t M't. I r lull particulara exblrflsa Till: 4-lfl.AT AMliHirAN TKA (p.. r. o. liox iiw. Hold Hand Mi Thuuaaiida I'pon Tlioueantla, The'proinietorsof the woi ld-renowued Car boline the natural Huir Restorer never put up lttss than l.UOj callous ut a time. This gives but an ith a of its iuinii'iise deinanil. Piso's Cure for Consuniption is not only I.U asant to take, but it is sum to cure. FREE HI aud ia Vewy St.. NewYork. INFORMATION IN REGARD TO t li.Al U.MI Excursion Rates to Texas, Arkansas and California. Pamplileta. etc., deacrlhlnir landa for ealo can he had ir a.lUreMing ,1. J. KOW 1,1.11, Kant. Faae. Ai'l.utlca, N. Y.i J. 1). MrllKATH, N. K. I'aea. Aa'l, tjoaton X. W JANOVVITA H. K. rim. An't. Baltimore. Md. If. If. .tlofl.FI.I.AN. Hen. Keet.Paaa. Aa't Mo.Peu.K.K .43 B'dmay.N.Y OOMSUrTION. ilM..itVAkfirI DOES WONDERFUL CURES OF KIDNEY DISEASES AND LIVE K CUIWPLAIrNTWt O Becaaaa it acta en tha MVH1, BOWELS l4 KIDNEYS at the aama tlma. Beoanaa It aleanaea tha rvalem of the potecm. one humora that clovelope In Kidney and TJri nary Dlaaaeae, Blllouaneee, Jaundice, Conatlpe tlon, Pllea, or tn Baeumatlam, Meuralsta, Wot oua Dleordera and all Female Complalula. ir solid proof or TUIO. rr will etraixr cttrs CONSTIPATION, PILES, and RHEUMATISM, By eanalnc THXH ACTION of all tha ergaoa and functions, thaTeby CLEANSING the BLOOD restoring the normal power to throw off dteeaea. THOUSANDS OF CASES of the woret forma of theee terrible dleaaaea have been qulokly reUeved.andlnaahortunia PERFECTLY CURED. niCt, 1. Liqt'lD OB DBf, HOLD HT DBC0O1STS. Drr oan bo aont by mall. WELLS, BICIXASCBON li Co., Uurllncton, Vf a Send tlainp fur Ulary AimuH for laM. . "fjBVCB raiie T afl V aa" IS UNFAILINO ASP INI'ALI.IIII.g in rrniNO e- Epiltptie Fits, Spattns, Falling; Sickness, Couvul- (tons, St. Vitus Dance, Alcoholism, Opium Eating, Seminal Weakness, Iin potcurr, Syplillls, Scrofula, and all Nervous and Blood Diseases. tSfTo Clergymen, LawTers, Lltfrary Men, Merchants, Bunkers, Laifies and all whose aedentury employment causes Nervous I'ros tration, Irrepilurities of the blood, stomach, bowels or Kidneys, or who require a nerve tonic, appeti.eror stimulant, Samaritan Nt ine is luvuluaule. t3Thousands proclaim it the most wonderful lnviRor ant that eversuHtuin ed a sinking system. 11.50 at Druggists. Tht DR. 8. A. RICHMOND MEDICAL CO., Sole Pro prietors, St. Joseph, Mo. CbasTN.Crlttenton, Agent, New York. (Q) (tkeXgreat) mm (GQHQUERQn.) HOP PLASTER 1 lnvj a iinMtlv rfiutxiy for tha abura disMSfl: by lta Tina thouteand of casea of tha worst kind aud of lonr atandlriK iinva ben cured. luiled, sontronu; Is my fait 5 In iUeifVtu t. thkt 1 will send TWO BOTi'LKS FHKR. tu- aruther with a V AM' AB1.K TKKATIHK ou this dianaM, t an y auuurtir. uive eprs ana r. u. auiirnss. DH. T. A. blAHJl'M, la Vvial Bt., New York. oruTC uf aurrn kvkhywh krk to twii tha Autn l o if An I til trit Fiuniiv Kiiiuiiiii W ill knit a tiair of atckiiita:a -:Kand TOKruiiiiilt'liii2uiinnutB. It will larlilnt nr itiviit4d with 11 f. albii Unit a gruat variety ui (ancy work, fur neti'i i' i u I u ii v k n. rcMflv t4i tho TWO.dlil.V KMTTIN( M AMI INK l.ich thre rcular and trms marktt CO.. mi$ Intiiois r BTKfcfc-r. iiOaSTON, MAba, A BLESSING TO WOMEN ! formitioD to 1)., Ilox lOl, Buffalo, 8nd ptarop fur full in Nw York. Ki:i. JVete MelhoJ. 8md tiCiilar. iH. J. A. Hot;aa. 2tt Fifth Avenue, N. Y. City. 441 nnniilH9 large pretty chroma reward, eicelaior.nierit, creuiL, uiuuaua. nirtiiaay, tnenfiHliip, gilt curat, bcui aula, ac, im. RUPTURE1,; Thle puroua filaeter la faraoue for lta qulrlc and hearty action In carlnif Lama Hack, Rhcuinatlani, SHatloa, Crick tn the Hack, Bide or Hip, Di uralgia, btlff JolnU ard atuai lea, Sure Cheat, Kiilni J Troublce and all peina o.' erhea either liical ur derputed. It tioothea, Strength enaanil HtimulU' the pari. Tlio vlrtuee of hope com bined with trunia cl. en and ready to apply. Superior to liniment, lotlona and aaivea. l'rlce lb ceota or for State adVonnl GREAT eipt of price. Hop Plaster Company, Pro prictora, Boaton, Maaa. SUCCESS I r The heat family pill made llawlry'a HUwiarh and I.tver lilla. V. 1'leeunt In action end eejrv t-n teke. Walnut I.rnf llnlr Keaiorrr. Pensions!, A grapevine in Kunta Pai-bara, Cal,, dui'txl tliiee t,cn ot gmj el lat J'lfti', Jll'O- IN THE SPRING Many of the human family are afflicted with a wearinem and debility which it ir impossible to thmw off without nine reliable inviifornnt. It beniM imp alible t,i d hanl work, and even re Kifn ia diHugrefahtB from thai tumble tired feeliiiK which it ia imimsiiible to deboribe. To restore the blnot tu active motion, ti clfantn it of foul humor, to irive new life to ail tbe function! of the body to mane you work with life aud euarfc-y, you wual take lluoU'a Sit rift par ilia. Purify Your Blood I had been much troubled by general dehiHty, ranrVfd m pitrt by catarrh and hoinora. Lat Stiu a friend recommended tint I try Il.,d a Btrhapanlld. trtK k three bottles, and it prfiveU jut?-t th tinnif ueuded. 1 d-rivid an inimense ainouut of hmiulit. 1 never full betier." II. titr.u Mii.i.et, Uot4in- i t an aay with Kreat iiUsurt that I have used Hood'asaraiar:ll and think t iere ia Dime equal to it aa blood pnrinrr. I cbeerniiiy recuuimoutl it tuall." E. ti, PiiEU'e, UocliepKr, . V. Hood's Sarsaparilla ,i I'rice hat tree, r um Ail Co.. Warreu.I'a. to R'.Miera A Uelra. Bend atamn r l irctilara. CO I.. L. BINli. AM, All y, Wellington, 1. 0, ia the Lest Liniment. Price Zb cental i enil ll.l.Uu Cnl. fVATlONAL ftllil.IHHlNil f'.fi Plih.i..l., I U1KMI rlxiiiKAt will cure your couah. Price 26c. Sind atarnp for imr Nee Bool' on H.itcnt. L. BINGHAM P l. ent LawrerW.ahiiiKton, D. J. iMi'Hiiii Mll.a AV"i i !!",fd for I he Beat and KaHteat-Billma Prii-ea reduced Hit i.er illia, fa. PATENTS: PlStfS rEnrE0Y F0r CTAfKr. Z3 Kold bydnifrffita. One dollar; aix for t. Prenarad Apothecunea, Jjowell, AlatM (00 Doses One Dollar, Easy to uae. A certain cure. Not exrnalve. Three months' treatment in one perkagp. Good for Cold in tlie llrail, Ui'ailHrhe. Dlzy.innia. Hay Fi'Vtr, &c 1'ifty cenia. liy all lirut-itista. or hy mall. K T. HAKLTINK, Warren, Ta. T2 ft U entirely dlffei-ent from all other, and as iti name indi oat - ia a nerfect VeKtnble Hair HeMorer. it will ini mediately fre the head fn m all dAndruff, rt-atoreara: hftir tyi ita natural no I fir and nrodure a new srowtl where it hu fallen off. it dona not aifect the health, which ruilpiiur, eufc-nr of lead and nitrate of silver ppa ationahave done. It will chanK linht or faded hair iu s few ilayn to a beautiful nUmy dnmu. Ask your dniRKWt for it, Kat h bottle ia warranted, W'hulbaale Aantv ii. ( GOOnWIN, Boston. Mwna. TO SPECULATOHS. R. LINDBLOM & CO., N. G. MILLER &C0. eAfOhamberof Uhroadway. Oommtiro', Chicaae. New York. GRAIN & PROVISION BROKERS Members of all prominent Produce Exchantfeain New York, (JhitaxQ, St. Louis aud Milwaukee. We have eicfuaive privtite telegraph wire between Ohl eaao and New York. Will execute orders oa ourtudg ucut when rvquoMed, Ken 4 fur circulars coiit&iiiiiig particulara. KObT. LIMjUI.oM A VO., Chicao T A N'TKU LADIES TO TAKE OUR NEW 11 Fancy wurk at their homes, in city or country, and earn SO to y I g prwek, making goorls for our Spring and bummer trade, Kud v, tor (sample and partioulars. Jtudaon Mitt. Co., ilbo hixlh. Ave, , W. Y. THE MINISTER WIIO FAILS to interest his . congrega tion and build up his church is generally accused of being a poor preacher, or of not studying hard enough. That is not always where the trouble comes from. Dyspepsia and liver disorders are responsible for many a dull sermon and many a vacant pulpit. When the Dominie's digestive apparatus is working wrong and his nerves are giving him pain, and his brain refuses to do its duty, it is almost impossible to make or to preach a good sermon. Give your suffering minister a bottle of Brown's Iron Bit ters. You will see its effect on next Sunday's preaching. The Rev. Mr. Zehring, of Codorus, Pa., was paralyzed, and could not walk except with crutches, until Brown's Iron Bitters made a new man of him. The Rev. Mr. White, of Rock Hill, S. C, says: "It restored me to strength and vi gor," Brown' Iron Bitters is not ob-4br die minister, but for all people,' eS
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