THE FOREST REPUBLICAN Is published Trr Wlnidj, by J. E. WENK. Office In Smearbaugh & Co.'a Building, ELM STREET, TIONE8TA, TA. Terms, - I. BO per Year. Mo ioWrlptlons received for a shorter period than three months. Correspondents solicited from all nsrtt of (ho con airy. No notice will be taken of anonymous commanlcatloas. OUT OF LOVE AND OUT OF DEBT' Of happy men tho hnpple: t yet J he Hint's out of loro Bfd debt, Who owes no kli-a to womankind, Who Inn no duns to craze hit mind; With heart mid thought and conscience free Where 1h tint man more blest Mian be) "Out of love and out, of dBbt," Motto none will e'er regret. To all surrounding reeonci'cd, He sleeps as sweetly an a fluid; By neither love nor debt distrcss'd, His dreams but glorify his rest. He never dreads the morn to s:, For days with days in peace nt;ree. "Out of love and out of debt." Motto none will e'er rogrot. Who's hail his share of dobt and love Knows what the peace they rob him of; And, once relieved of love and debt, His slavery never can forget. No longer will ho bend the kno, But aing the pii mis of the free "Out of love and out of debt," Motto none will e'er regrets For all the lilim that love can give, There's more of wiie with lovo to live; He plucks the perfect, thornles rose, Who honored manhood, no manowei. No love, no debt, ah 1 there's the key Of life, for him, who'd happy bs. "Out of love and out of debt," Motto none will e er regret. George Birdseyt, OUTJUGGLED. "Now, turn your tongue loose, Mac, and tell us n good story ; sonic wild yarn. We don't want tiny fancy stuff, but a real adventure, something exciting, out of your knock-about experiences on the frontier." It wns during our hunting trip upHed river into Texas and the "Nations' terri tory. We hud camped that night in ;ho shelter of tho blulTs, and had a roaring camp-tiro burning; for a blustering "norther'' had come down on us. Mae, had figured as a traveling magician. "Well, gentleman," Mae responded, at length, and in compliance with our ur gent, hilarious demand on him, "I will tell you a little thing that happened to mo once on a time, and not so very long ago, cither. It was last fall, in fact, and camo off at one of tho Comanche vil lages. "About the middle; of November, I was trailing my cart and show-truck over the "Sill Kouto" once more, and I camped for the night at tho Comanche town, as I had done a hundred times be fore that. 1 knew the bucks, every one of them, or thought I did, and I felt no fear of going among 'em alone, though before I'd always carried a driver. "Well, I hadn't got my supper cooked oefore a lot of young bravos came down to my wagon and engaged me for a show that evening in their new school-house! Well, they've gt one, a big log house, with a board floor and seats. It had just been built, ami they'd got an cdica ted half-breed girl to teach. "1 told the young chaps that if they'd help me rig u little staging and put up my curtains and raise me live dollars, I'd give 'em a first-class show, with all the latest performances in legerdemain. "Well, these young bucks that I was (peaking of camo down in 'bout an hour with half tho town, young and old, big and little, at their heels, and away we went, cart, horse and all, over to the school-house, which was built in the woods 'bout forty rods from the village. In a very short space of time wo had a narrow staging rigged, and I hung my calico curtains 'cross the front of it, packed in my truck-chests, and while the house was a-lilling up plumb full of the black, greasy-faced beggars, I got ready for business. "They raised mo the five dollars in silver, and paid it cheerful as you please ; the beggars'l! give their last cent cither for a drink of whisky or to see any kind of a queer performance that is new to them. "Well, I opened up on 'em. I per formed with rings, with cup and ball, and set 'em all u-grunting and a-chug-gering with delight. "Then I loaded a pistol, marked the bullet, and let cm examine it ; and then handing the pistol to a young buck, I told him to shoot mo square between the eyes. That was too much for them Com anches; they just gripped their seats and grunted like a lot of wild hogs that you've just jumped in a thicket of sweet briers. "That voung buck's hand trembled like a mule's car; but he pulled down on roe, gritty like, shut his teeth and cut loose. Then them Comanches just rose to their feet and yelled ! Hut I stepped down out of the smoke and motioned 'em bock into their seats, and got. 'cm quiet agin. "Then I opened my lips and showed 'em the bullet between my teeth, and when they'd all seen it there, I took it out and passed it round. It had the same marks as tho bullet they'd seen me put iu the pistol. "Hut I hadn't done with 'em yet; fool that I was, I proposed the rope perform ance, and called on two of their best men to come up and tie me, telling 'em that I could get out of their knots before one of 'em could find time to saddle a pony, if the horse were right there. "I produced my rop', a good long one, three-eighths, und stout enough to hold a two-year-old steer. I laid down on the platform and told 'em to come on and do their tying. At fust they all seemed a little beared of trying; that bullet busi ness, you see, had" made 'em a little shy 'bout fooling around me. "Presently, a big, tall, ugly-looking old buck, wearing a green blanket round him aud a lot of dyed turkey feathers in his hair, came up on the stage and mo tioned to a stout young one, sitting near, to come and help him. The ypuiig chap trotted up and thev went at we. r i VOL. XVII. N0.1. "I swelled out my muscles with all my might; you know how tho trick's done; but, gentlemen, before they got half done I knew I was cornered. " I siiw it in that old black villain's wrinkled, scowling face anil in his mur derous, snaky little eyes, lie was one of their medicine-men, probably the greatest of the tribe. The old brute was jealous of me; and, knowing there was nothing any more supernatural about my tricks than about his own hcedyus juggling, he'd made up his mind to corral mc in one of my own performances. "Well, gentlemen, that rope was passed round my wrists in a twinkling, and drawed so tight that I winked hard with the pain, and I felt the veins swell almost to bursting. " From my wrists they passed the rone tight around my waist, then took a half hitch round my neck and knotted it under my arms. Then they went for my !egs with tho other end of the rope, and tied my ankles (I'd taken off my boots) so tight, that my feet ached before they'd finished knotting. "1 laid there and never opened my mouth; I wouldn't even let myself think till they pulled the curtains on me. When they got through, I told 'cm to draw the curtain and shut mo in so that 1 might set my medicine at work upon the ropes. I saw the old medicine-man grin as I give the order, lie shoved the young fellow off the staging and pulled the curtains to, leaving himself inside. Then 1 heard a surprised grunt all over the house, and I began to think. " I let my muscles relax and shrunk up like a turtle; but them knots shrunk with me, and I found myself helpless as a baby; and there was that old grinning wretch bending over nie with his snakish j black eyes just glittering in triumph! j " 'Otuess you ve got me, old man,' said I ; 'what are you going to do about it?" "He bent lower over me, and made a hissing noise with his mouth, a noise that sounded exactly like the buzz of a rattle snake's tail. Everything and everybody in the room was as still as a tomb-stone. I couldn't hear a breath outside. All at once that wretch stopped his hissing, and with a quick movement jerked my head up between his knees, jammed something between my jaws, whipped n red scarf out from under his blanket, and passed it around my head and mouth gagged me, in fact, tight as a double-sinched bucker. " 'I've given my last show on this earth,' I thought. Then the old villain backed down oil the platform and slipped out from under the curtain. "There was a general grunt of curiosity and astonishment outside; and a heap of admirat ion for their old juggler was mixed up with their racket. " 'Silence!" growled tho old wretch in Comanche. 'Silence! I have breathed upon the bad medicine-man of the whites. If I had not. done so, his vile, poisonous breath would have slain every warrior in the room. At midnight every one of you would have died. Just as the moon rose above the tree-tops, your spirits would have left vour bodies. Your squaws and your children would have been given to them crawling snakes the Creeks and the Choctaws in the East.' "Of course I'm only trying to give you the substance of what he said. I don't understand their jargon only well enough to get their general meaning. When the old man ceased speaking the crowd just got up and shrieked the awfullest blood-curdling yells you ever dreamed of ! for a minute I thought my time had come, and that I should be torn to pieces by the screeching mob ; but the old man shook his madiciue-rat-tle at 'ein and down they set again, quiet as you please. "'Listen!' he said. 'Go homo now, my children, to your tepees and sleep; come not here till morning, when you'll find the bad medicine of the whites harmless as the water of tho Coder. He shall not hurt you. Go and leave me with the medicine-dog; for 1 must breathe again upon him, and mj breath will take away all his charms aud all his magic. He shall ketch no more bullets in his teeth. Go, my children, for my breath is sacred and can be of no good until all the members of my tribe are in their lodges.' " And do you believe it, they all got up and skipped out of there, every mother's son of 'em! There I was left alone with the hcedyus old beast. I had worked desputly all the time he was talking, trying to draw my hands from the rope. I loosened one of 'em just a trifle, enough to know that in half an hour of hard work I could bring my w rist through, by peeling all the skin off with it. Well, when they'd gone and the last sound of 'em died away, the old juggler stuck his face inside. " 'I go now,' says he, 'I go to my tepee to prepare my medicines against the medicine of the white dog. When I (rome again the white man's magic shall all be mine; he will tell me all his medi cines.' Then he came inside, felt of all my knots, made himself sure of 'em, and then went out and left me. " 'So that's your game, is it?' thought I, and I began to take hope at once. I hadn't time to think over the situation; I just worked like a beaver, with the sweat pouring oil me like rain off a slicker. "It was a struggle for life; for of course I hadn't a doubt but the medicine yuan meant to kill me, whether 1 told him any of my tricks or not. He would smother me like a cat in a sack, and pre tend to his tribe that his breath had killed the medicine man of the whites, when he would possess himself of my trinkets aud be the greatest man that ever trod a Comanche towu. " Well, he was gone longer than I hud any reason to hope for; aud after a time I wrenched my right hand through the loop that held it. Aud I peelod it, too, peeled it horribly. Hut after that the work w &i easy, I got my arm loose, got A mm TIONESTA. PA., WEDNESDAY.. APRIL 16, 1884. myjackknifo out of my pocket, managed to open the big blade with the stiff, swelled fingers of my other hand. Then I cut and slashed for a minute, tore the bandage off my mouth, and spit out a deer's-horn charm. I was nearly smothered with my efforts; for of course I couldn't breathe through my mouth till I got the scarf oil; but I soon gained my breath and set up a free man. "Then I began to think and to act. My right hand was just streaming with blood, and an idee struck ine. I smeared it all over my face, till it was perfectly red with blood. Then I got up and fished a white sheet out of one of my chests, a piece of white 'factory' that I'd used in some of my tricks. I put that around me, turned down the lantern and the other light inside the curtains, got out my six-shooter, then leaned back against the wall and waited. "I was nearly half an hour yet before I heard the old heathen coming. Ho stole in, soft as a cat, and slid along up the curtains. I always carry three lamps with me. Two of them were burning in the room; but he seemed puzzled about tho light behind the curtain. Presently he opened a crack and peeked in. What do you think I saw? Thehorriblest fac ever a human being wore! The cheeks painted a blarish green, half-moons of ghastly yellow under the eyes, a jet black ring about the ugly, grinning mouth, and three blood-red stripes across the forehead; while the little black eyes shone with a fierce, beastly glitter that couldn't be described. "He'd got himself up in a more fearful shape than I had. He was going to scare me; but he didn't succeed not any! "He give a surprised 'whooh' as he looked on the floor; there was nothing there but a bloody spot. I'd cleared away the ropes and tossed 'em one side. Then ho looked up and I stepped for ward, jerked the curtains one side, nnd exhibited my git-up to him. With a sharp yell he threw up both his hands, nnd there came over his bedaubed face the ghastliest look of fright it's ever been my fortune to behold. I wish I could have painted it; I should 1e famous to day. "Hut I didn't give him any time tore cover; I jumped for him, and struck out ns I jumped. He went his length on that platform like a beef-ox. Then I grabbed the pieces of rope, and before he come to himself enough to realize what the movement meant, I had him tied, yes, and had that old deer's-horn charm between his jaws, bound there with his own red scarf, tighter than waxl "I'd bound him with limp muscles, and he was there to stay ! He came to him self in a minute and glared at me fright fully. "11a; ha! says I. 'You'll breathe on the whito dog, will you you? Lay there and learn to let the medicine of the white man alone !' Hut I didn't waste time palavering at him. I hustled my things out of there, hitched onto my cart, and skipped out and away ; and, gentlemen, I never went fooling round any Comanche village agin." Youth's Companion. The Origin of the l'ostofflce. The English lllmtrated Magazine says that the postollice is an example of the mode in which things change while names remains. It was originally the ollice which arranged the posts or places at which, on the great roads, relays of horses and men could be obtained for the rapid forwarding of government dis patches. There was a chief postmaster of England many years before any sys tem of conveyance of private letters by the crown was established. Such letters were conveyed either by carriers, who used the same horses throughout their whole journey, or by relays of horses maintained by private individuals, that is, by private post. The scheme of car rying the correspondence of the public by means of crown messengers originated in connection with foreign trade. A postoflice for letters to foreign parts was established "for the benefit of the Eng lish merchants" in tho reign of James 1., but the extension of tho system to in land letters was left to the succeeding reign. James I., by a proclamation is sued in 1035, may be said to have lounded the present postollice. By this proclamation he commanded his "post, master of England for foreign parts to settle a running post or two, to run night and day between Edinburgh and Lon don, to go thither and come back again in six days, nnd to take with them all such letters as shall be directed to any post town in or near that road." Neighboring towns, such as Lincoln and Hull, were to be linked on to this main route, and posts on similar principles were directed to be established on other great high roads, such as those to Chester and Holyhead, to Exeter and Plymouth. So far no monopoly was claimed, but two years afterward a second p;oclamation forbade the carriage of letters by any messengers except those of the king's post master-general, and thus the present system was inaugurated. The monopoly thus claimed, though no doubt devised by the king to enhance the royal power aud to briug money into the exchequer, was adopted by Cromwell and his parlia ment, one main advantage in their eyes being that the carriuge of correspondence by the government would afford "the best means to discover and prevent any dangerous and wicked designs against the commonwealth." The opportunity of an extensive violation of letters, espe cially if they proceeded from suspected loyalists, was no doubt an attractive bait; and it is rather amusing to notice how the tables were thus turned on the uiun archial party by means of one of the sov ereign's own acts of aggression. How ever, from one motive or another royalists and parliamentarians agreed in the estab lishment of a state post, aud the institu tion has come down without a break from the day cf Charles I. to our own. mtnunumi V THE SECRET SERVICE CORPS. OFEBATIOITS OF OFFICIALS WHO HUNT COUSTEBFEITEKS. A Book Which Contain the If intoriea and Photoirrapb of ,'iOO Crim inals A niM doles and Cnrlooitlea. A Washington correspondent of the Boston Traveler visited the headquarters of the Secret Service officials in the United States treasury building. Mr. Knight, one of the officials, said: "The operations of the corps of secret servico df'.ectives extend all over the oountry. There is not a city or hamlet in the United States which is not liable to $ceive a visit from one or more of the forty men who are constantly on the watch to suppress the counterfeiting of the coin and paper money. The move ments of our oflicers are, of course, from the very nature and danger of the work in which they are engaged, kept in the strictest secrecy. They wear no badge, nor do they even carry a document show ing that they are in any way connected with the service. Oftentimes months and months are taken in the detection of a single case, and when a man has been convicted of counterfeiting, or of passing counterfeit money, he never is out from under the reach of our eyes. To show how successful we have been in suppress ing counterfeits, I can tell you that we have not seen a new issue of bad money for over two years and a half. In that safe which you see there there are$l, 000, 000 in counterfeit money and about $200,000 in bad coin. This sample book, in which you sec pasted bank and na tional notes, with the word "bad" punched out in each, contains $25,000, and we have hero the histories and photo graphs of 2,500 criminals, perhaps ten per cent, of whom are women. William E. Brockway is the most notable person in the collection. He is called the "king of counterfeiters," and occupies the first place in this album. Next to him are his two pals, Doyle, who passed the money, and Charles F. Smith, the most expert engraver of "crooked" work in the coun try. In all their operations Brockway furnished the money, laid out the plans, and was the brains of the gang. Doyle passed the "stuff," and Smith was the engraver. Doyle is now serving a twelve years' sentence in the Illinois State prison. Brockway was captured some weeks ago on the charge of coun terfeiting some railroad bonds, samples of which we have here in this office, and Smith is living with his family in Brook lyn, N. Y. Smith engraved the famous plate from which the $1,000 seven-thirty bond of the issue of 1805 was printed, and $33,000 worth of it were actually redeemed at the treas ury department before it was discovered to be a counterfeit. The impression was so good that the experts were unable to determine whether the bonds were genuine or counterfeit, and the matter was only decided when the government issue bear ing the duplicate numbers came baojc for redemption. Smith also engraved what is known as the Hamilton $50 greenback, and the $100 note on different banks, which are the finest known of these series. Several years ago a very shrewd dodge was played by one of Smith's confeder ates on It. II. White & Co., of Boston. A woman entered their store and looked at some very expensive shawls. Finally she made up her mind to take one, and tendered a $1,000 bill in payment. The clerk took the money to the cashier, who sent it to the bank to And out whether it was genuine or not. The answer camo that the bill was good beyond the shadow of a doubt. Then the clerk said that the shawl would be sent to the woman's address, but she proceeded to get very angry, and said that if they could not take her money without question that she would go elsewhere, and she flounced out oi the store in great rage. About an hour afterward she returned, and told the clerk that she had visited several other large firms, but that she had been unable to find a shawl which suited her as well as the one she left in their establishment. She said she would take it with her, and tendered a $1,000 bill in payment. The shawl was valued at $200, and the woman took it away with her, together with $800 in change. Tho bill first tendered was genuine, tho second was a counter feit, and the firm was just $1,000 out of pocket. Smith engraved the plate from which this counterfeit note was printed, and it was so nearly perfect that only a minute examination would have caused detection. Smith also engraved the plate from which the $1,000 six per cent, bonds were printed, but we captured tho entire issue on Doylo iu Chicago, amounting iu all to $204,000. A curious thing about his arrest by our detectives was the fact that they took him, suspecting that ho had the old counterfeit $100 bills in his possession, when, imagine their surprise, they found a new bond. It will be sev eral years before we shull have to look after Mr. Doyle again. Next to Smith, the Lest engraver of counterfeit money is Charles Ulrich, who served a term of nine years in one of our Northern prisons. He is now in Ger many. George White is another expert of note. He stands accredited with the best counterfeit $5 bank note ever issued and but few people are able to detect them. The counterfeit is on the Merchants' national bank of New Bed ford, Mass. Here is a picture of George Albert Mason, u noted counterfeiter who came from England to this country aud eugaged in this business. He was ar rested, tried, convicted and served nine years in prison, but he is now at liberty and has sued the government for $50,000 for false iinprisomeut. His papers are in the hands of British Minister West, but I wouldn't care to gamble that he will re cover anything. Now I wish to call your attention to two curious facts. Counter feiting runs in families, and without ex ception the men unpaged in it are all $1.50 PER ANNUM. poor. For instance, take the Ballard j family. Thomas, Benjamin, George and ' John, four brothers, all in our clutches, together with an aunt. There is one brother out of jail, but we are satisfied that ho is an honest man. Thomas Hal lard is a wonderful fellow. He is the only person, so far as we know, who has succeeded in imitating the Dbet paper upon which the genuine notes and bonds are printed. At present he is serving a thirty years' sentence as a reward for his discovery. He is a chem ist of no ordinary attainments, and he invented a process by which he was able to take a genuine $2 or $1 bill, and com pletely remove all the traces of ink from its surface. Then, with a counterfeit plate of a higher denomination, he would print upon tho genuine paper, and thus raise the note. Speaking about raising notes, here is a check on tho Third national bank of New York, which was raised from $451 to $26,068, and paid, in 1876. The perpetrators worked off with chemicals all that was written in the check except the signature, and I regret to say that we have never been able to discover who did it. Here are three steel plates which were engraved by Ulrich for a $5 issue. The engraving is done on soft steel, and when com pleted the plate is hardened. To give you some idea of the amount of labor it takes to engrave these plates I can only say that we have evidence that Ulrich was fifteen months completing them. Perhaps the greatest curiosities in our entire collection are the bills which made their apperance about four years ago, ex ecuted with a pen entirely by hand. At first we thought that it must take a great ampunt of time for the rascal to turn out one of those bills, but now we think that he produces about one a week. The denominations are fifties, twenties and tens, and they are turned into the trea sury for redemption from all parts of the union." Elephants of the Fast and Present "There were white elephants in this country, running wild once," says an elephant authority. "How so? Merely because white elephants occur wherever other elephants do, and 5,000 years ago, more or less, this country had its herds that roamed over the land just as buffa loes do now. There's not a State that their remains haven't been found in. Here in New Jersey they have been found, seven or eight in the same bog, where they had probably rushed in fear. The positions in which they were found showed that they struggled hard to get out. In Connecticut, near New Britain, a skeleton was discovered some time ago that was three feet higher than Jumbo. Another has been found on the mountains in Vermont, and the finest skeleton was unearthed in Newburgh and placed in the museum at Boston. According to Professor Dana, its measure ments are: Height, eleven feet; length to the base of the tail, seventeen feet ; tusks, twelve feet long, two and a half feet being inserted in the sockets. When alive the height must have been twelve or thirteen feet, and the length, adding seven feet for tho tusks, twenty-four or twenty-five feet. "In the State museum at Albany you will find a fine elephant that outjumbos Jumbo. People have tried to prove that it was buried by a showman, but the skeleton was taken from an ancient pot bole by Professor James Hall, the eminent State geologist, and before it was dis covered there was blasting, and several thousand loads of rock aud gravel were taken out. Nearly all the timber found in the hole had been gnawed by beavers, and as this was at Cohoes, where the beavers are rather scarce to-day. It is natural to suppose that the great ele phant dropped in a good many years ago. 'There were a good many different kinds of elephants in those days, all of gigantic size. The mammoth was as largo as any, and roamed over our North ern shores, several other kinds finding their way as far down as Mississippi. One elephant had legs ten feet long, and abody twice the size of Jumbo's, and its tusks turned down instead of up. It probably lived in the water and hauled itself out by using these weapons as hooks. In India at this time there were eight or ten different kinds, from giants with very small heads and tusks fourteen feet long, going down to a very sharp point, to others that were mere pigmies, and had long hair. These lived high up in the mountains, and have a modern representative. The very smallest lived at Malta, and were scarcely over three feet in height. "Among the hairy elephants there were all tints and hues. Somo were black, others were gray, grizzly white, red, yellow, etc. All this is known, as pieces of their hair and hide have been found. The elephants are going fast. There are only two kinds left tho Afri can aud Asiatic and in fifty years, if Africa and Asia are opened up as they promise to be, they will be entirely wiped out of existence." New York Sun. Sugar in Tobacco. That tobacco, as ordinarily prepared by some of the manufacturers, is fre cpiently sweetened with molasses, honey, licorice, etc., is not doubted, but we think it will be a surprise to most people to learn that a considerable percentage of sugar is a natural constituent of tobacco. Yet such has been demonstrated to be the fact by Professor Atttield, F. 11. S. Eight samples were obtained from plan ters iu different parts of Virginia, Ken tucky aud North Carolina which gave, to 100 parts of leaf, from 5-57 to 0-00 parts of tobacco sugar, aud from 8-23 to 12-80 parts of total saceharoid matter. In to bacco grown in unfavorable conditions, or without sufficient heat, the amount of sugar is often but a mere trace, while foi light-colored or bright Virginia leaf it will average about ton per tent. Scitn tfie American. RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Sqnare, one Inch, one Insertion II on One Hrjnare, one Inch, one month 8 00 One Square, one Inch, three months 00 One Square, one inch, one year 10 w Two Bqnsres, one year J Quarter Column, one year Half Column, one year One Column Jone year o 00 Legal notlcet at established rates. Mnrrlajo and death notices gratis. All bills for yearly advertisements collected quar terly. Temporary advertisements most be paid in advance. Job work aih on delivery. SUNLIGHT ALL THE WAY, "Good-bye, Jennie, the road is long, And the moor is bard to cross; But wo'.l you know there la danger In the bogs and the marshy moss. So, keep in the foot-path, Jennie, Let nothing tempt you to stray; Then you'll Ret safely over it, For there's sunlight all the way Sunlight all the way; So, never you fear, Keep a Eood heart, dear. For there is sunlight all the way." The child went off with a blessing And a kiss of mother-love; The iisies were down at her feet, And the lark was singing above. On, on in the narrow root-path Nothine could tempt her to stray; So the moor was passed at nightfalls There had been sunlight all the way, Sunlight all the way And sbe, smiling, said, As her bed was spread, "I had tunlight all the way." And I, who followed the maiden, Kept thinking as I went, Over ths perilous seas of life What unwary feet are bent. If they could only keep the foot-path, And not in the marshes stray, Then they would reach the end of life 'Ere the night could shroud the day, They'd have sunshine all the way; But the marsh is wide, And they turn aside, And the night falls on the day. Far better to keep the narrow path, Nor turn to the left or right; For if we loiter at the morning, What shall We do when the night Falls back on our lonely journey, And we mourn pur vain delay? . Then steadily onward, friends, and we Shall have sunlight all the way Sunlight all the way, Till the journey's o'er, And we reach the shore Of a never-ending day. Harper's Weekly. HUMOR OF THE DAY. A bad cold Cold hash. Down trodden Shoe leather. Cold and stiff The ice crop. Tho crow is the great American corn remover. Statesman. "How can a woman tell?" asked a ro mancer. She can't help telling. IIoo sier. Women will never bp as well paid for lecturing as men, simply because they have done so much of it for nothing. Leap-year parties are popular in somo sections. At these gatherings tho girls yell "mouse!" and the young men jump on chairs and shriek. Detroit Free Preas. "No, Adela, book-agents have not what is known as second wind. Prize fighters have; but book nirents have not. They do not need it. They never lose their first wind. Puck. "What is this big corner in pork 1 hear about?" asked Laura, across the cheery tea-table. "The big corner in pork," replied Torn, who is a big, rough, coarse man, "is the ham." JIawkeye. " Hello, Jones, what time is it?" asked a Fort Wayne man of another, yester day. "It's just time that you paid the $j you owe me." "Is it, indeed; I didn't think it was so late as that." lloositr. It is sad to contemplate the expression that settles half an inch deep over a man's face when ho finds that bis wife has been using his best nnd sharpest razor to whittle kindling and slice cold ham with. iiW Toothpick. "Is your wife acquainted with the dead languages?" asked the professor of a Newman man. "May be she is," was tho reply, "but the language she uses is entirely "too warm to have been dead very long." Newman Independent. In the soring tho nummer poet Dream of birds and blossoms glad ; In the spring 'he diner's thorax ops the bonolcts of the shad. In the spring the pale arbutus Makes tho wood a fragrant mat; In the spring the airy maiden Dreams about her Easter nat. Puck. According to Burdette, the fellow who comes home at 2 a. m., and can't tell the key-hole from the transom and can't pick his night-key out from his pocket full of toothpicks, is tho man who complains about tho vexations aud delaying "dead lock in the house." SHE KEKKKRKD HIM TO HUSB PA. I 1 Her fairy form, Her mode-t face, lltr cburinin:r air. And wining Kiaee Enchanted all The lads in town. And each one lovoi Je mi iu a Urown ' She oft was c alled The village priiio, And for her love 1 Ion,; had sighed. I taiil I'd know No joy iu lil'e.till she'd Consent to be my wil e. She Hlu.,hed quite red and said "I lh, la," and thou reieiTed ine to Her pa. His manner was butu rude and iout.rh,and when lie spoke his tones Were gruil'. 1 uskel him iu accent llhuid to give mo his daughter's hand. Kor answer ho gave me Ins foot encased Within this cowhide bootl Sutnri-cilla Journal. Representative Lamb, of Indiana, is said to be the handsomest man in Wash ington. ... There are 3-1,000 deaf mutes in the United States, or one out of every 1,500 people. Englishmen are making huge purchases of timber lauds iu South America uud iu tho Southern and Vtem StuUs.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers