SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT. HUMOROUS STOKIEB THAT W1X& RAISB A. BMII.E. All Oolng: Torflhrr-A Sllin flinr f'nrnilve I'oivpri of Hot Plaloo Ttilstln? n coir'i Tnll. MR MAN WHO WAS LKFT. Ten mniilpns there were, Enrh one a fair As the other nine. Ten stars a bright, In kive-ly liRiit Each other did outshine. A tender swain, With puzzled brain. Lifts up his wailing voice; And in despair He tears his hnir That he ran t make a choice, "Wail not !" (hey cried: 'Nor woo betide: But rather do rejoice That other ten Much belter men Than you have made a choice." Will J. Lampion. ALL OOINO TOQETnGR. Lit lie Nell Oh! I have such pood news. Mamma and pupa and I arc all going to another city to live. Visitor Indeed! You amaze me. What city is itf Little Nell It has such a funny name. It is called Harry, and it is an awful old city. Visitor Oh! I guess you heard tho name wrong. Little Nell Oh! no, I didn't. It was at the breakfast-table. Papa told mamma to go to the old Harry, and mamma told papa to jo there himself, and then I asked them to tako me, and Ihcy didn't Fay anything, but I know they will. Philadelphia Call. A SLIM CIIAKCE. " Don't you believe that marriages are tnado in Heaven, " asked Mr. Yeast of Miss Prim the other day. ' I most certainly do," replied tho lady of uncertain age, brightening up at the very suggestion of a proposal, and throw ing her head on one side in her endeavor to look coquettish ; "but why do you ask ?' " Well, I thought you did," was the young man's satisfied reply. " But why did you think I did V per sisted the antiquated maiden, almost swallowing her ovcrskirt in her attempts to appear captivating. V Well," responded the heartless young man, lighfufg a cigarette, and getting at a respectable distance from his antagonist :" it doesn't look as though there .vas much chance of your being married before you reached there !" . CURATIVE POWEH OF nOT PLATES. Old Doctor Thompson, a noted physi cian of Indianapolis, gained his reputa tion by a "lucky hit"' with a case tho Rev. Henry Ward Beecher gave him. One night a Scotchman, laboring under intense" excitement, called on Mr. Beecher and exclaimed : "Cume wi' me quick, necJw, gudepaarson! M' woomaun's noo Linger fa' this wourld an' an." Mr. Beecher did not wait to hear tho Scotch man out, but seized his hat and cloak and was soon at the bedside of the dying woman. He then rushed out and brought Doctor Thompson to manage the case, and within a month the patient was a well woman. But during her sickness a ludicrous little incident occurred that made the actors in these events laugh heartily. All tho good neighbors volunteered to Bit up with tho sick woman. One night one of the Scotch laddies uttered a fright ful . wail and rolling and kicking upon tho bare floor, complained bitterly and pitifully of tho stomach ache. The old Scotch father, in droll accents and thundering tones, shouted : "Aleck ! Alick 1 Cum an' pit a het plait an Jamie's stoumach !" As soon as Jamie was 'quieted, another of tho numerous laddies was afflicted similarly. The yond his kind. He drew the owner at tho cow aside and whispered inhiscnr: "Twist her tail." The Jerseyman shook his head. Then, as though bidding for tho support of tho multitude, tho Uong shorcmnn raised his arm and making a sweeping gesture, exclaimed : 'Gents, I says twist her tail.'' "Twist it yerscl," was tho answer. A glnnco of scorn upon tho crowd, and tho 'longshoreman bared his brawny arm and stepped up to tho cow. IIo took tho lovo-lock in his hand ; ran his fingers through it and clinched them, grasped the middle of tho tail with his left hand, and tried to tio a knot. An agonizing silence, which was broken by a groan and dotted with a broad brimmed hat. a pair of suspenders, and the arms and legs of a 'longshoreman doing calis thenics in the frosty air. The battered remains of the 'longshoreman were car ried away muttering blasphemy. The cow after "she had replaced her hind hoofs on tho ground was led on to the ferry by the Jerseyman, who observed as he paid his fare : "Takes more'n a Yorker to learn me lessons." iVaic York Tribune. Forty Tears Ago. Prentice Mulford writes of the times forty years ago : Family cooking was better than at present. Our mothers and grandmothers 'took a hand"' in it. Bread was made at homo. Coffee was freshly ground every morning for breakfast. The grind ing of the family coffee-mill was a fa miliar sound of the early morning, long ere tho children were up. Foreign help had less sway in the kitchen than now, and European hands did not make a botch of such purely American dishes as pumpkin pie, codhsh cakes, pork and beaus, corn bread, buckwheat cakes and succotash. People then did not live as long, nor was the average health as good as it is to-day; they ate more meat, more grease, more hot bread, more heavy dishes, drank more at meals and afterward chewed more tooacco. Dyspeptics and consumptives were more common; disease ana premature death were devoutly laid at the Deity's door and alluded to as "dispensations of Providence." Tombstones had longer epitaphs and more verbosity engraved upon them. At funerals the undertakers cried with the mourners, tho now of tears being proportionate to the expenso of the funeral. Collins were very plain, and burial caskets unknown. Young folks in couples counted it a privilege to sit up nights with tho corpse before ourial, and in many coses it was a welcome recreation. New Orleans molasses, very black and thin, was tho common " sweetening " for buckwheat cakes. Refined molasses was comparatively scarce. The bank bills were of State banks, and tho farther West their locality tho shakier were they. Illinois and Indiana bills would barely pass in New York city. Much of the silver currency sixpences, shillings and dollars was of Mexican coinage, brought to this country by the Santa Fe traders. The country retail trade was better than now. People then could not so easily by rail run up to tho city and spend their largest cash accumulations for the more expensive stuffs. Country dryproods stores renewed their stock from the city twice a year. Tho arrival of " new goods " created quite a flutter. It filled the store for two or three days until all the women in tho village had seen the new styles. Eggs were a shilling a dozen, and but ter was considered high at eighteen pence per pound. There was "York currency," being eight shillings to tho dollar, and New England currency, six shillings to tho dollar. Business letters were more voluminous and formal than now, and written in a Scotchman again called out, only louder? precise, round hand than before: "Aleck, tret anither het plait and nit 't an Tamie's stoumach." Tho complaint now seemed to become epidemic, aud the old Scotchman was soon telling Aleck to "pit a het plait on Jeannette's stoumach," This done, and Aleck himself fell a victim to this acute trouble, and after him all his "brithers" were also crying for "het plaits." The old Scotchman, who was now heating plates and applying them as fast as he could, Boon exhausted his stock, and was compelled to run to the neighbors for a new supply. The ailment was at last put under control, and the Scotchman, removing tho plates from those little aching stomachs, was about to return them, when the neighbors, overflowing with generosity, told him to keep the plates for another emergency. They "didn't need them any more after that." Midland Monthly. TWISTING A COW'S TAIL. It was a cow, with mild brown eyes, auburn bangs, and a tail with a loose lock on the end, that switched the air and knocked imaginary flies into the hereafter with a snap. She was being led down West street toward the Cort land street ferry by a ferocious-looking Jerseyman, whose complexion, owing to the cold weather and hot whisky, was red as a meteoric sunset. Suddenly, with what was apparently unnecessary cruelty, the Jerseyman struck the cow across the flank witn a club, swung his arms over his head, danced a maddening double-shutllo in the street, and sat down with strange rapidity upon a car-rail. The cow looked over her shoulder re provingly, and stood in her tracks. The Jerseyman arose from tho impression he had male upon the ice, smoothed his coat-tails caressingly, and started toward the cow. He rapped her once, spat on his hands, rapped her twice, put his shoulder against her side all to move her out of the track of the drays but to no avail. A crowd assembled. The Jerseyman got lots of sympathy but no assistance. One man suggested that she liad frozen fist; another that she was undecided about the policy of the board of aldermen. The owner went a few yards ahead, grinned a ghastly grin, and shaking his club behind him in a suppressed fur' pleaded in persuasive Union, "Come. Mooly Mooly. " But Mooly saw the club. At l&?t from the crowd stepped a lank Vnl unelt-ren specimen of a 'longshore man. 119 was rifted with a wisdom Isolated rural settlements contained a greater proportion of lunatics, para lytics and victims of St. Vitus' dance than they do to-day. The railroad had not strung places to gether and there were fewer hospitals for special diseases, hence most of these cases were kypt at home. The diet was more surcharged with grease. The winter breakfast at thou sands of tables consisted of salted ham and hot cakes. " Dinner was simply a hasty lunch at noon. Little importance was attached to the necessity for cood digestion or a period of rest after eating. The same heavy diet prevailed in many families, without change, winter and summer. Hence on approach of tho first warmth of spring came " spring fever " and biliousness. For this the doctors of the period gave strong cathartics, pos sibly a "blue-mass pill " or a doso of " calomel." The regular profession then used mer cury in a manner which would now be deemed reckless. The patient was given a regular purgation and directed to "diet " for a few days. Children were strongly dosed with castor oil and rhu barb and salts and senna on the least provocation. It was a strong age tor medicine, and an ago of strong medicine. Under such treatment tho strong managed to recover, tho weak died, aud tho medium class physically lingered on and suffered. Lightning-rods made their way into use with difficulty. The ultra devout actually opposed them on tho ground that they were an insult to Deity, and that it was an interference with the works and will of Providence. Negro minstrelsy was just cropping out in the traveling circus. There were generally but two great performers, who assumed male; and female characters. The popular melody was "Jump, Jim Crow." He Got Up. - Mamma (at the foot of the stairs) "Johnnie, it's time to get up. Breakfast is nearly ready." Johnnie "M-yes-'m." Big Sister (at tho foot of tho stairs) "Johnnie, get up at once; breakfast is on the table." Johnnie "M-ya'as." Old Gentleman (at the foot of the stairs "John!" Johnnie "Yes, sirl" Philadelphia Call. Swopping Fish Stories. Tho Anglers' association of Eastern Pennsylvania mot at their rooms on Arch street, Philadelphia, tno other evening. After tho considerat ion of mull no mat ters was concluded the Kcv. Dr. Wayland Hoyt suggested that tho cxecutivo com mittee prepare a list of .subject v ',0,ll of practical and scientilln import, with re gard to tho finny tribe. Among the titles of subjects suggested were: "Tho Breathing of tho Fish, " and " What He Dies of When Taken from tho Water." Upon tho latter topic Mr. Cardoza re marked : "Ibelievo a fish dies of intoxication when taken out of tho water, not alcoholism, but oxygenism, a sort of fervid exhileration, so to speak." Otlier subjects named were, "How Fishes Feel Pain, " and " Upon What Food Fishes Live." "I don't wish to complain," said n genial nngler, wearing gold-rimuicd spec tacles, approaching the reporter as he spoke; "lint we would liko you to men tion the scientific and other subjects we now have under consideration. You know," confidently, "wo don't want the public to get tho idea that we assembled here merely to tell " "It's a story I can vouch for," ex claimed tho well-known voico of Doctor Hoyt, near tho speaker's chair; "knew the man; saw the fish; positively true." "All right; let's here it if it is true," chorused several voices. "Well," said the reverend doctor, "it was a couple of summers ago. I was in California. In San Francisco, near the water works, was a large tank, and in that tank was a line, large California trout. It was very tame and the clerks used to catch flies and hold them over tho water, and tho trout would come up to tho surface and tako tho fly from their lingers. Well, one day an idle-clerk, tired of tho usual thing, placed a nice, lux fly -upon the nook of a bent pin. His troutship came up ns usual and was caught. The clerk released him and en joyed the joke. But would you believe it, after that day twenty hotel clerks could stand around that tank and that fish would tako flies from every one of them except the man who played tho loaded fly on him." Philadelphia Time. How CnVes are Frosted. In the window of a' " delicatessen" tore on Third avenue, there appeared tho head or a laro porker ornamented with flowers and vines in an extraordinary manner. A wreath of red and white roses rested between his cars. There was lilies and pinks in his jaws until his teeth wcro buried out of sight, and a miniature sunflower- covered his snout. The proprietor of the store smiled when asked about it and picked it out of the window without saying a word. The questioner then saw that tho head was simply a cake ornamented with various kinds of frosting. "Theio is art in frosting cake as well as in painting," said Mr. Schiffcrdccker, a confectioner. " It takes an artist to imitate nature so close ly as to deceive the eye. The process of ornamenting a cake is very simple. Sugars of various colors aro mixed with the whites of eggs to a thick paste. Tho mixtures are put in cone-shaped bags six inches deep. In the apex of each bag is placed a tin cone-shaped spout tho small end of which is round or serrated or flat according to the purpose for which wo use it. Holding tho bag in 0110 hand and steadying it with the other we squeeze the mixtures through tho tubes. The shape of tho tube helps us in form ing the design. Thus flat tubes serrated on one side are used for leaves. Little round mouthed tubes serve to make vines and tendrils. To build a rose wo use a thicker moisture, and form the rose from it exactly as a sculptor would model one in clay. I sometimes make a rose with nothing but a little bit of wood not much larger than a toothpick. In fact, the tools used on elaborate pieces of con fectionery are nothing more than what I have told you, but we have to serve long as apprentices before we can do the work." New York llotel Mail. The Hon. Billa Flint, Life Senator of the Dominion Parliament, Belleville, Ontario, Canada, writes: "1 tried St. Jacobs Oil for aguo in my face and toothcache. It acted like a charm. A few times rubbing with it took away all soreness and pain; far better than hav ing them drawn at the age of seventy Be ven." Several kinds of hard wood lumber arc gradually coming into use which a few years ago.were unnoticed. Beech is one of them. Beech has a fine grain, is quite durable and is used in the manu facture of school and church furniture, chuiis, etc. Dr. Tierce's "Pleasant Purgative Pellets' nre sugar-coated, and inclosed in glass bot tled, their virtues beinp thereby preserved unimpaired for anv length of time, in any ciiicate, so that they are always fresh and reliable. No cheap wooden or pastebcard boxes. By druggists. Followed soot The sweep who fell down a chimney. My wife used Dr. Graves' Heart Peculator with great relief, it is the only relief from Heart Disease. I cheerfully recommend it. J. U. MiUerhM., Mulberry Grove, 111. $1. A CHl'KcHjair 'lhe "daisy'' in tho choir. Timely Snio.lln Abnut 1'neumiMil i. This is the nine of year wliau 80 many 1 er sous fall victims to pneumonia and other lung disease Hence, wo call attention to the following interview with a prominent hysieiau: " What is pneumonia f" " Pneumonia is an acute luni disease, and commences wiih a severe chill and fever. It teems to be an allei tioii of the lungs, but it is really caused by tne bloo 1 beinir impover ished by the non-removal of natural acidi by the liver aud kidneys. Pneumonia is always proof of diseased kidneys and liver. Indeed, tuis is true of many other lung disorder! also. "Pneumonia is a very dangerous disease and the patient must be treated with hot drinks, and the chest be covered with mustard jioul tices, and then call the best physician. " ' How w.iuld you prevent such diseases;" " By keeping tho skin, liver, bowels and kidneys in healthful activity. Then the blood is tree from acd pois ns and pneumonia need not 1l feared." For this purposo we know of nothing better than Dr. David Kun nedy's Favorite Pemedy, which is a highly reputed specific for all liver, kidney, bowol and blood disorders: It is mode, we believe, at Kondout, N. Y., sells for one dollar a b it tle. ana is the best, and surest of all house hold remedies. . Pneumonia is very common anil fatal, and whatever will prevent its ravage, is worthy the highest cominendatiou.yi(tiiii Kcenintj Journal. Canadian telegraph tolls ar? the cheapest In the world, A DANGEROUS AMBUSCaDK, DtKroverril Bnrc-lv In Time-The Itonl llffri" nnd t.nt-ln. or Modern I'.vlla Urnplil mlly Mmrrlhrri. Homothing of a sensation Watcause-l 111 tlii city yesterday by a rumor that one of oilr bist known citizens wdi about td publish ft statement eonernintf tonte tiniistttll pxihm-L pnees during his. residence (i Syracuse. How the rumor originated it Is Impossible to sny, but a reporter immediately sought Doctor 8. O. Martin, the gentleman In question, nild se cured the following interview: "What about this rumor, Doctor, that you re going to make n public statement of some important. mattrf" "Just nlxmt the jmme ns you will find In all rumor some truth; Mine fiction. I had contempl ted maVni; a public it ion of Home remnvknble episodes that Have occurred In my lire, tmt have imtooiiv.mtei 11 ns vei, "What to the nature of it, mrtv 1 iiiiillire;" "Why. the fnet that I mil It humnn tcirg Inst a I or ft spirit 1 hnVo passed through one of tho most wonderful ordenls that per l n ever o; carre 1 to nny man. The llrst in tirrntion 1 h id of it win several years ago, when I b -gaii t feel chilly nt niglit and rest less after retiring. Occasionally this would he varied by a soreness of tlvi muscles and cramps in mv arms and legs. 1 thought, ns must people would think, tint it was only a cold and so paid as little attention to it as possible. Shortly after this I noticed a po cul ar cotnrrhnl trouble and my throat also became inflamed. As if this were not va riety enough 1 felt sharp iains in my chest, and a constant tendency to heada -he." " Why didn't you tako the matter in han I and meek it riglit where it was (" ' Why doesn't everybody do to t Rimply liec iuse they think it is only some trilling and passing disorder. The e troubles did not come all at once and I thought it unmanly to hoed them. 1 have found, though, that every physical neg'ect must be paid for and with'lame interest. Men cannot draw drafts on their constitution without honoring them sometime. Th"se minor symptoms I have ilemrib.il, grew until thoy were giants of asonv. I lieeame more nervous; ha I a strange fluttering of tho heart, an inability to draw a long breath nnd an occasional numbness thnt was terribly suggestive of paralysis. How 1 could have been so blind as not to understand what this meant I can not imagine." " And did you do nothing P "Yes, I traveled. In the spring of 179 I went to Knnsas and Colorado, and while In Denver 1 was attacked with a mysterious hemorrhage of the urinary organs aud hist twentv pounds of flesh in three weeks. One day after my return 1 was taken with n terri ble chill and at once advanced to a very se vere attack of pneumonia. IV loft lung soon entirely filled with water, and my legs and body becamo twice their natural size. 1 was obliged to s't upright in bed for several weeks in tho midst of the severest agony, with my arms over my liead,and in constant fear of suliooation." "And did you still make no attempt to save yourself (" "Yes, I made frantic efforts. I trlel every thing that seemed to offer the least prospect of relief. 1 called a council of doctors and had them make an exhaustive chemical and microscopical examination of my condition. Five of the best physicians of Syracuse and several f.-om nuother city said Iinut die ! It seemed as thoegh their assertion was true, for my feet became cold, my mouth parched, mv eyes wore a fixed glassy stare, Ty body was oovered with a cold, clammy death sweat, and I read my fate in the anx ious expressions of my family and friends." "Hut the finaleC "Came at last. My wife, aroused to des peration, began to a Imini-ter a remedy UHin lier own raponsibility, and while I grew better very slowly, I gained ground surely until, in brief, I have no trace of the terrible Brigbfsdh-ease from which I was dying. and am a 1 errV tly wvll man. This may sound like a romance, but it is true, and my life, health and what I am are due to Wurner's Safe Cure, which 1 wish was known to and ued by the thousands who, 1 b.-liave, are suf fering this minute us I was originally. Doei not such an experience as this justify me in making a public statement!" ' It certainly does. Hut then Brlght's dis ease U not a common complaint, doctor." "Not common! On tho contrary, it is one of the most common. The trouble Is, few people know they have it. It has so few marked symptoms until its final stage that a nerson may have it for years, each year get ting more and more in its ixwer and not sus pect it. It is quite natural 1 should feel enthusiastic over this remedy while my wif is even more so than I am. She knows ol its Icing used with surprising resulta by many ladies for their own iiecuhar ailments, over which it has singular powor. The Ktaiemont drown out by the abov interview is amply confirmed by very many of our most: prominent citizens, amoiut them being Judge l!eigel,and ColunolJainesH Goodrich, of the Time, while Genera! Dwinht H. Hruco and llev. Professor V. P. Codd ington, 1). D., giv the remedy thcii heartiest endorsement. In this ago of won ders, surprising things are quite comm, but an experience so unusual as that of Dr. Martin's and occurring here in our midst tnav well cause comment and tench a lose L It shows the necessity of guarding the slight est approach of physical disorder and by th means which bos been proven the mot re liable and ettloient. It shows the depth U which one can sink and yet be rescued, anc it proves that few peoplo need sutler if thesi truths aro olwerveu. Syracuse Journal. Tuk Lost garden gait A walk. A Fnlnl .tflalake would lie not to take Dr. It. V. Pierce'i 'Golden Medical Discovery" if you are bil ious, suffering from impure blood, or fearing Consumption (scrofulous diheose of the lungs). Hold by alljlruggihtsj Hindoos prefer a jury of five. Functional derangement of the female system is quickly euro I by the use of Dr. It. V Pierce's "Favorite Prescription." It re moves J ain nnd restores health and strength, liy all druggist s. Swiss capitalists invest abroad. ' Pr.Graves' Heart Heu'ator cures all forms of Heart Diseas.', nervousness, sleeplessness, Matiikmath iank should wear only figured materials. Fob DYsrEPSiA, inthokstioh, depression of spir its and general debility in their various fciriiis, also as a preventive aguinst fever and agncr and otherinterniitteiit fevers, the "Ferro-l'lnisphor. ated Elixir of Calisaya," made by Caswell" Hazard A Co., New York, and sold by all Drug' cists, is the best tonic ; and for patients recover, lug from fever or cither sickness it has no equal " Kuiiuli on CuiikIih." Knocks a t'cuh or Cold endwise. For children or qd 11 Its. Troches, ljc. Liquid, 6U0. Druggists in malarial districts say that I.ytlia h. Pinkham's Vegetable Comjiound is as much the standard reme ly for female m akne-ses as quinine is for the prevailing chills and fever. a 1 . .r",!',0""!' " I -run." Ask for Wells' " Hough on Corns." lac, (Juick, complete cure, (rns.jvarts, bunions. The North American Indinn,especially the Seneca tribe, made such fre mailt useof petro leum that for ninny years it was only known a i Seneca Oil. Now it is known as Carboline, the Wondorful Hair Henewer. ('Million to lnirviiiclir Ask for W lis, Kichiirdsona: Go's. Improved Putter Color, and take 11 1 oilier, lieware of all imitations, and of all other oilcolois, foi every otlier one is liable to In come rancid am; spoil the butter into which it is put. If you cannot get it write to us at liuriington, Vt.. t know where nnd how to get it without extra expi n6. Tluauauds of tests have been mude, aud they always prove it the best. Well dressed people don't wear dingy or faded thius when U c. and guuranteej Dia mond Dye will make thuiu good as new. They are perfect. Get at drugtsls u ud lie economi cul. Wells, llicliardsou (V Lj.burlingt ill, Vt. Dr.Sanford's IJver lnvigorator purities thi blood, aids digeslion, legulatesjhe boweLs. Beware of the incipient stegesof Consump tion., Take Pito'i two in twie, . Onr fl.l l'm(n-4 I have been troubled for over six years with a severe kidney complaint, also- a vk hess of tho tlrlnnry organs ith its attend ant trouble My water needed constant at tention, some days as many as twenty times, wdh severe pains in the biaddor, as well as In the back and loins. At times I passed a limited quantity of urine, highlv colored with Unnatural het nnd sediment; frequent ly evacuations would be Very painful. I concluded that 1 must do sotnethimt for It, fearing that mors serious trouble would fol low. I went to the druggist nnd was recom mended to uo Hunt's Itemed V, a It ha I been Used with wonderlul success In several severe rases of dropsy ami kidner and bladder af fections herein Unngor. 1 concluded to try it, and before I had used one bottle found It was helping me beyond my XectatioMs, My Water became more natural, less cokir an t sediment, the jwiins In back and thnt heavy feeling gone, with n genernl toning up of the BVSU'lll, null l icniuim"! " - used sis bottles, and it lias completely cured Others of my faui'ily have used limit's ftcniedy with equally as good success, and we do not hesitate to recommend It far nnd near, believing it a duty as well as a pleasure to recommend so good a medicine as Hunts Kemcdy. You are at liberty to give my tes timony to the public. D. T. IIODQDEH, OsstJfciToN, Me., May 1, ISsfl. 1 indorse the above statement. A. M. KoMN.-Km, Jn., Apothe.'ary, llangor, Me. A WAN of many l.Umps The chap who puts on roller-skates for tho first time. Itrm necl from llrntli, William J. Coughlin, of Somerville, Mass,, s iys: "In the fall of INTO I wai taken with bleeding of lungs followed by a severe cough. I lest my ftpiietitc and flesh, and was confined to my bed. In 1877 I was admitted to the hospital. Tho doctors said I had a hole in my lung as big as a half dollar.' At one time a report went around that I was dead. I gave up hope, but a friend t dd me of Dr. Wm. Hall's Balsam for tho Lungs. I got a bott'e, w hen, to my surprise, I commenced to get well, and to-day 1 feel better. than for three years." Ely's Cream Balm Is doing Wonders. I ad vise sufferers from Catarrh to lay other rem edies aside. 1 M:eve it Is the t.nly remedy that will curethisterribledisease.from whict 1 have suffered twenty years. Charles Gar rabraut, Shoo Merchant, MS5 llrond St., New. ark, N. J. (Price 5U cents per bottle.) Having used Flv's Cream Halm forCntarrl and Colli in the Head, I am tatisllel that it is a first-rate pre) aration and would rio.un niend it to anyone affected. H. W, Chest er, llditor 7eraJ,Clinton, Wis. Price fsDo. Sec ad Health Is Wenllh. It is worth more than riches, for without it riches cannot be enjoyed. How many peoplo are without health w ho might regain it by using Kidney-Wort. It acta upoiftlw Liver. Itowels and Kidneys, cleans n; and stimulating them to healthy action. It cures nil disorder of these important organs, puri ties the blood and promotes the feneral health. Sold by all druggists. Seeadvt. Huchii-r-lhe." Quick, complete cure, all annoying Kidner, Bladder and Urinary Diseases, $'l. Druggists. No opiates or drastic cathartics to be found in that iieerless remedv, Samaritan Nervine. From Houlder.Col..Mi8s N.E. Wilder writes: "Samaritan Nervine cured me of epilepsy." Camphor Milk cures aches and pains. 2.V. rha'nix Pectoral cures cold and cough. 25c, Catarrh At thli wanoi, of thevnar aTwryborty hu a cold, and onto Tnr bad onoa. By fmjuant eipoaurra th inm braiiax of tha noiui becoirt ry aftnaittre, and catarrh and mfluwnr.ft art cmttemic). Klif tnajr beubtaiutd by the turn of Htxid'a NamApanlla, For many yar In succwuon, tftjrfnnfnc no far back t don't rampmtwr whn, 1 had t tin catarrh tn nxj bad. It conaititf d of an iceamvn flow from my nuaa. Ringing and Bursting Noises In my hoad. KoinAttmM the heart n tn my left ear iru a(Ti'u(Hl. Fivr vnarn aot atxut ttua anaatin of theynar, 1 bf Iran to una lirtid' Saraaimrilla. I a hlimd right iwny, but I mntinurd to um it until I foil tuyMlf ourd. Mr. hlir.iL il. Caulnnld. Ixiw ell, Mas, Jerome Hnwnell, mnrrliant and eitensl miliar at Victor, Ontario county, N. V., writes: "1 have iiamj Hood' hnr.iarilla fur my catarrh, and it haa hel(Md me. 1 con m (W Hood'a nrmtanlla one of tha bent remedm for blood-diaeaae to be obtain J." 100 Doses One Dollar The TmarkaMf reautta tn a d'anaiw an nnlvernat, and with HiK'h a vitrtety of charactrmlica as catarrh, pr va bow frtVettmlly Hoorn hanuiparilla, actinit through t blood, rttachttaavrry of tu human aynieui. Hood's Sarsaparilla Fold by all druggist, ft; aix for 95. Prepared only by C, 1. Hood A (Jo., A potnecanea, Maaa. They who work ear lyaod late tho year round need, occasion. Hy, the healthful si iron! i a imparted by a wiioieanme tonic likeHisietterSi Ktom ach Hitto a. To all, its purity and effi ciency aa a remedy an 1 preventive 1 1 diatae commend It. It checks incipient rheumatism and ma larial symptoms, r lievea cot ipation, dyspepsia and b-l-tour Droit, arreata pre mature decay of the physical energies, mitigates the infirmi ties of age and haa tena convalescence, For aale by all lrua. git a and .Dealers generally. CATARR MELT'S CREAMBALM HAmVER$! .; LY ,Tv I Into th norlU NAY-FEVER will bo absorbed, effect ually cleansing the head of catarrhal virus, caus ing healthy secretions. It allays inflammation, protects tho membrant of the nasal passage from additional colda, completely healg th sores and restores tasts nnd smell. A few ap plications roliev. A thorough frtAtawnl uiU poW'fvty cure. Agree able to use. Bead iui circular. FBICK ftOTPVTS, BY MAIL OR AT DRUGGISTS. Ii, HUOTllratA, OWEt.O, N. V. NEW TACOMA WASHIHGT03T TERRITORY. Webtern Terminus of the (ireat Trans-continents North rn Pacific Railroad, and the Future Metropolis ol tbe Pacific Kortbwest No city on American soil offers such inducements te lnventont a tins, frufjerty uilt tUtublm in mi u her 4 i the next turlvt months. Money loaned readily at 1 and 1$ per cent, per m nth on god real estate security at otiH-t hird ot its pt'Mnent value. Section -iy of the ood of Waiihington buys: "Any rate of int trwt agia id upoc bv pari leg to a contract, specifying lhe same in writ Df, (hill be If gal and vlui." Information chnei fully given. Correspondence solicited. Inclose stamp for reply. Addnsa AM.KN '. MASON. Real i:ta(e Broker, New Tac ma. WaahmgUnTer'y. . r. X A. or A. T. WHO Will . F. Hrennan. hO Johtu Halldlnw, nan Vi i..,i,...l (thl I'u.t.l N.it fur ! bO .ki .u.Min nf ihliiiinlurl 1 1 lata irw f Freejaa. onry. no t -paid, and. If-fw deelrra, 6ut-t to act aa Agent In County of aU roaldrnce fW the sale by au-arlpLl-M ef this Baoat deelrablc book. VfillUf UXII Learn tlt-raphy hero and we wlli lUUflU ITlLn ).ive you a Mluntion. Circulars Irw. VAI,i;TlM HHOS., Jiiiiravillr, Vts. HORT HAND INSTITUTE, . Ithaca, N. Y. hituatlt ns procured ; btt'nogrnphers-uiipliod.with out char. Ht-ndard Tpe-W rileraand supplies. No " Lai g.apt.a." Address, W. O. Wyt sotf. S Pensions! PATENTS: to Soldiers A Heirs. Send stamp tor Circulars. COL. L. biSii- HAM, Att'y, Wac-hington, D. (J. Campuoh Milk is the bent Liuimeut. Price 2ft cents. A units V mi ted for the Bent and Fastest-selling i tutorial books aud Bibles. Prices reduced .3 per Dent. NilluMAL PuitLIHUINU Co., Pniiadulpuia, ra. Phu.ni- Plc-okal will cure your cough. Price 'ibc. Send statu p for our Near book ou Patt-uL. L. BINGHAM, P.it- iut Lawyer. WnehlugloU, D. C. MM l)YB K'M UK A KB K1.IKIB - im SiSUas-BB?''' f tftlUil-UwUlt 1 THE GREAT GERMAS REMEDY , FOR PAIN. lullrrM ,110 cure HlllAMATISH, Neuralgia, Soiatloa, Lumbago, nt'KArnK, nEADACnE.TJOOTHAOSl, SORE THRtlltT. QUINH Y, BWELLINOW MI'ltAIN. Sorcnitt, Cut, Bnilttt, ' FHOHTIHTE8, ; ni'RN. -CAtD,1 And ll nthwr bodily mchM ml paint. FIFTY CENTS ft BOTTLF. Hold bjr nil Pni(rirll nd JvkI.th. Direction, in II 1h Chirlef A. Vogelcr C. i-n I. A. VOOIIJIR - 00 ) .Itfmn. . . C. HYHW-H ftTKE GREfltfl NERVE SPECIFIC FOR Epilepsy, Sjxumi, Convul itona, Falling JSicknm,Bi. Vitus Dancp, Alcohol' tm, Opium Eat ing, S yphillis, Scrofula, Kingi IMl, Ugly Blood Diseases, VytP' tia. Nervousness iSiek Jfeadacht, Rheumatism, Jrww HVnfrnwn, Hrsln Worry, flood Sort, Biliousness, VcatMntf, Nervous ro"rK,un, Kidney Tronbltx ami Irrttiulariliet. f X.uO. Hntnplx ToMlmonUI". 'Samsrltnn Ni-rvlne Is doing wouucts- Dr. .1. . MrLrmoln, AlrxsnoVr City, AIS. "I feel It my duty tn rrcommend It." . Or. 1). V. l.siiKhlln. t lvde, En "H cured where phrnlclnns fiiilrd." iivv. J. A. Kdie, Beaver, Pa. r Correnponilenea freely sumwered. "V Ihs Dr. 8. A. Richmond Med. Co- SL loteph. Me. For tritlrnonlali and elrrolars send stamp. CO At DrngglnU. C, 5. i'rlttenton, Afnt, K. KlQiUjElBjOlR) HOP PLASTER lhla puroua filaiter l turnout for lu quirk and brarty action im cnrlnir Lam Back, HhrumalUm. HrUttaa. CHrk In the Bwk, Bide nr nip, h.ar-licia, BUB Jolai and Muo-lt-l. Bore Chmt, KldnrT Trouble and all pain or arhr. oltlmr local t drriHeoated. It tui, mrerta rm anl Btlmulat.-. the p-rt- The Tlrtnee of hope eo blnl with rum -clran and readj to applj. 8uperla llntm.nta. lotiona and aaWt-e. l'rlce centa or fot A GREAT retpt of price, fop PUiAttr Company. Pro prietors, Boston, Mass. SUCCESS t a-Tho bout famllj pill made llawley'l Btomarh 14 I-lTor Illla r. I'lwwuiit In ertlon and emr to tokf. Walnut Lent Hair lUatorer. It l entirely different from all othere. and itanataa Indioatea la a perfect Vefetahle Hair Relorer. It will immediately (ie the head from all dandruff, rvaton i-'F hur tnita natuial color, and produce a new arowtn wl.re it haa fallen off. It d. not altect the health, whir h iilpliur,iui!rof lra.1 and nitrate ot ailrer prepar ation hate done. It will chann llallt of (ailed hair in a tow il.jn to a lM..iltlful loei.y Imiwn. A;ll your dru-t forit. Kach holtle la warranted, hinilh, Kline lo. WUoleaale Ag'ta. I'hila.,i,a.,andi:.N.lJritteuton.N .Y. 30 DAYS' TRIAL j (Baruaaj teViaS-J T7iI.EOTRO VOI.TA10 BFLT and other Et.ye-Jto 1i Aerl iancks r,-aunt on jip !.' Tn.l lUMhM ONLY YOI'NH Oil Ol.l, who are iuflerlntrom NVHViltm I1EIIII.1TT, U'T VlTAI.ITt, WaSTIHO WlctIKM, and all kindial diM.au,-.. Bneel)r re. liol and complete restoration lo Hrai.TH, !"'B "2 Manhixh lil'ABAN ri Kli, Heud at uuca tor llluiiwatea l'.nililel tree. Addrxaa Voltaio Belt Co., Marshall, Mick' GOOD NEWS TO LAPIESI lirealera indu. emnU ever of fered. Now', your liuii to at op or.l.-r. for our celel r. td Teas ami ( iillrt'n.anii necure a beauti ful (."IU Ii.ikI or Mom Kom I huia IV.Sfl. or lUr.deome Oecoratea floiu nMKi -,. m, rtone Ihnner Set, or t.old Hand Mum l)e.t riled Toilet Sot. r. r toll imrtirulara adclreaa tuk ;iii:at a.ii hu an ti:a i ii, P. (I. Hoi -M. HI and iU Viwl M., Jy-w York coFJsuiPirorja 1 liava a poiltlve rwiuody fur tli abova dlae ; Uv ll titta thoasantta of caaBi of thn worn, kind autl of loo atandlna; have bn riirwd. ItnleM, an ttrnne U it fait 5 lu Itssmoacy, that I will (ml TWO bOTTLKS FKftK, to frthr with YALTA HI. It TKKATIHKon this dUr, Ul auijr suflerer. OWs Kspreiis and P. O adilrnsa. PH. T. A. bLUOLat, 1-1 l'ail Bt., New Tork. M n m m INFORMATION IN HEGAKDTO FREEexgursion Rates to Texas, Arkansas and California. Pamphlet, etc.. describing land for tale can be had by addroNHin. J. ,1. KlIWI.Mi, :. H,. Aa't.lUioa. N. Y, ; J. I. Mi'HKAiH, N. K. Pa. A. I. rloetoiT; 1. W JANOW1TA H. K. Paw. At'i, Haltiinora, aid. II. It. ill. ( I.I I I. A. Gen. Kant. Paw. A't Mo.l'.c.U. It ,24 3 B dway.N.T. TO SPECULATORS. N, G. MILLER & CO. bb llroadway, Nw York. BROKERS R. LINDBLOM & CO., ft A 7 i'lianibflr of C-oniintTue. I'tiiraoro. GRAIN b PROVISION Meimberti of all prominent Pnxliiow Kioa.aD(oalnN York, (Jlm-ago HI. Lrimiaaud MilwauktHt. W haf i BicluHivti jirivnUi tlntfrauh wtrebfitirMnOhl cao and New York. - Will eim:uu ortlwrs on our juu niuiit liu r,u,'hted. html for circulars ounUu iu$ particulars. KUbT. LINUbl.UM A CO.. Cumago. tVAKK YOUR JfEWSOHAIJ n KO RNUMMKR KIJ'Vr.N of " TH K 1'HllMlH I.l'UlA WKKK.LV VALL.U It contains a lint of vuluuhlo Prftnionis fa 6fiii'ai to 9.ory yearly Mutiiritir. bM t-ur XHHKU I'RIZI-: I'UZZI.KK, tht flrrtt st.lvei-a of winch will re c tio SIti, and VIO rortiMHWfiy. If rout utwslwlr is imt of Nl'MHhK l.Kh'KN, send ui yur a'1lrt", and ws will rrid you sinipia copy frt, Addresa HOHI-.KT H. IA V IS, Hmpnolor of uTHh WKLKLY CAU.,,M,hiladeIplna. 1'tt. ' 1 lit relieves at once Uim,i-'ilen, Chapped Hands or Lips oms, it unions, im'aius. unnm,orftieK8 or icci.iianoi fjes.cU:. ; ltclilmriroinoiiy cavir-p. ae&c. Ask your drug ESTABLISHED 1878. E AGENTS' FITSl NO AGEI1TSpro New Sewing Machines for $20 Guaranteed positively new and thoroujtlily ftrat clai-i in every particular. iii'rinili'tl f-r Uva years. Can b relumed at our eiMMiH it n t a ivprehutitod. Freiictiu paid by ma Utall poiuta. A C.JOHNSON, 37 North Pearl St., Albany.N. V $40 i'A YN for a Mfe Scholarship in tha Newark, New .Imum. Pusitlout fo f raditates. Jatnriui ptttroiiriK". nia or Circulars to li. COLKMAN t CO. Mfllf AM late and popular. ratalftue free. m tnUWiU jub I'riiilt l rbur,t)irit,uCo.1iJa. lUCs Dli "D V to sell our It -ilibt-r Stmups. ' J,. J, A" D.U rAl Leaser V i o KiIwuyt I'u. PISO'S KEhtfY F0I CA,TAR;KH av-2arrAf V Easytouae. A certain cure. Not Pipe-nalvf. 'I hrea nioiuliii' troHtment In one m kui0. ij,,d f,' fold In lhe Head, tli iuiiu-lie. IHzzint-M, llav Ki ver &c iifiyetula, liy all liruiiKiMj. ur h miiil ' i-T. JIAirt,I.llN Warr'tu, Me iTi. U U It a Vuu ! falla, IU, 1- a-
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers