l;t goml HrpttMiran WUsnKD tXT.1.1 WKDNBHD1T, Sf ."r. E. WENK. 'Olnce in Smoarlmtigli & Co.'s Bnildin : Lst arnzzv, - t;o:ie3ta, pa. TH.U.MS. "TICIt "V 13 Alt. Ni. "MlMoiipliniiH i,k civcd fur k shorter pr riod tlmii lliiio iiiuii'Ik. t; nv,,,,,,ieiice elicited from all pnrtsof tin "'try. Nip nil' i( ni betuk.ii of anmivniuui "'"lIMIlil'tttUIIIM. RATES UP ADVERTISING. Ore S(imro, one fiinh, one insertion... 1 00 One Suture, ore inch, one month..... 8 00 ( Lie Square, one inrh, three months. . . 6 00 One K inure., ore inch, one year.... .... 10 00 Two Sji:nres. one je-ir 15 00 l'i.-uter Column, one year 80 00 iinlf Column, one year fiOOO 0;. Column, one year 100 00 T.e!?(l notices nt established rates. MiimnL'e and death notices gratis. All for yearly advertisement collected quarterly. '1 eiuporary advertisement mast be (mid in advance Job work, cash on delivery. VOL. XVI. NO. 23. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 1883. $1.50 PER ANNUM. IN THE SHa.DE. f ho fat man, With a big fan, Lolls, round on a rattan divan Kvery spot Awfully hot Doesn't care wholhcr he dies or not The small boy, Full of joy, Finds much fun without alloy In the stream White limbs gloim J To him life seems no more than a dream. Boy sees man, On divan Wishes that ho could have a fan, And lie at ease on a cool rattan. Man Fees boy Splash with joy Wishes ho conld his time employ Bobbing around in tho stream so coy BRUM'S OBJECT. Little Brune Middleton, a pretty girl with a trim waist, bright dark gray eyes, a brown complexion and still browner Lair, a mouth an 1 a brow that showed a thoughtful character, stood leaning against a largo oak treo on the summit of one of the many hills encircling her father's home. Brune had been reading a strong minded woman's opinion of "Aimless Lives," and now, its slio gazed down upon the winding river, tho undulating lulls, and grove-embosomed house, she was filled with self-reproach that she was merely living, and enjoying it too, without knowing why or doing any appreciable good to any one. It had been ma le very clear to her that she had been put here for some use Lut for what? To eat. drink and bo mer ry ? Oh, no, that wasn't enough ; that was only for self. The tears rose to her eyes and sho bitterly exclaimed: "I'm nothing but a cumberer of God's busy earth." It must be admitted that Brune's range of thought was rather circumscribed, for, Bave through books and papers, Bhe knew nothing of the great world outside her own hill-surrounded coun try home, Professor Middleton, an abstracted though kind-hearted man and devoted geologist, in following tho aim of his wn life had broken through many an outer c rust and looked deeply Into the inner nature of Mothir Earth, but it had never once occurred to him that there was more in the character of his children than wa3 shown upon the surfa; e, and he knew absolutely nothing of them beyond their names ' and their faces. Mrs. Middleton some times wondered by what intuition ha knew that much. As to Brune, in wham ho might have found a study worthy of himself, he regarded her as a perfect child, and absently remarked to his wife one day: "How largo Brune grows." " Yes," ( riod Mrs. Middleton, hasten ing to speak whilo his mind was off his rocks and pebbles. "Yes, indeed; she is well-grown and pretty, and I wish very much she might sue more of so ciety. Mademoiselle will have no more of her in the school-room, and there is absolutely nothing here to employ her time as it should be." But the hint fell upon unheeding ears; the professor's thoughts were in the fourth stratum already, mamma's were called to the nursery, and mean while eighteen-year-old Bruno stood holding out empty, longing hands to ward "an object to live for." She possessed far too much of her father's talent and her mother's energetic spirit not to have already felt distressed . at her forced inaction. This appeal from the strong-minded woman had aroused her whole nature, so now she etood clasping the mighty body of her favorite tree and wishing that it might develop the faculty nf speech like the u talking oak," or at least with waving branches point out the spot where her mission lay. Finally she resolved to go to her father, though sho inwardly dreaded the amazed look with whic h he would greet her questions. How ever, the desiro for action was greater than the fear of being misunderstood, and gathering up her dress she turned about to descend the hill, when a curly poll appeared from behind a great mossy rock, and witu dancing eyes and laughing face her little sister Berenice ran to meet her. "Oh, sister Brune, whero have you been and what is the matter with you?'' she cried. "Have you been to the moon, or are yon only moon struck?" " Xo, Beny, I haven't," gravely re plied Brune", still impressed with the subject of her meditations. " I have been trying to think what is the object of my lifj. Tell mo what is, dear," Bhe added, laughingly, a Beny's mysti fied look struck her as irresistibly comical. "Have mercy, Brune; isn't it enough to be obliged to furnish objects for my verbs," retorted the ready witted child. "And do come along. Mamma seut mo to find you because papa hasbroutrht home : a visitor, only think, and that's so extraordinary that I don't know what will happen next. I wish something would lor for my part. I don't believe every place can be as stupid as this, and perhaps papa might leave the valley if a real awful tragedy should occur," and Beny's eyes sparkled, while her shoulders were drawn up in a comical affectation of a shiver of dread. Brune laughed again and reminded Beny of her distre-s a few days befoie yyfcen their father brought home a little wounded fox from tho old quarry. "Didn't that satisfy your thirst for blood, littlo savage?" she asked. Beny's only reply was to skip gayly along from side to side of the steep narrow path; then turning round yith an arch look on her bright littlo face, she cried out: "Oh, I don't know; I only wish something would happen. I'd even wisii you would iiod your 'object, if that would make any difference be tween Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, "Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Satur day and Sunday again I" and out of breath sho skipped a littla to far out on the outer edge of the path and fell headlong upon the rocks below, before the frightened Bruno could reach her. ' Oh, Beny, Beny," she cried. " "Why are you so careless?" and she hastened forward half expecting tho merry child would spring up in an ecstasy of fun at having succeeded in frightening her more timid or rather less rckless sis ter. But the littlo twisted body seemed almost lifeless, it wa3 so rigid, and all Brune's efforts to take her up only availed to elicit moans of pain. Throwing her arms about her, she lifted her as tenderly as possible, and, with trembling limbs, carried her swiftly down the steep winding walk to tho house. Ah, Brune, Brune, little did you think when you climbed the hill seek ing your "object," that it would be thus you should find it. It is almost impossible to describe tho scene of distress and confusion that ensued, a short time after, when Bruno, with pale, awe-struck counte nance, almost fainting with fatigue and fright, but with a brave light, for all, in her eyes and a firm look about her sweet mouth, entered with her burden. Gently placing Berenice upon a lounge, she explained the accident in fewest words to her father, soothed her mother with ready and kind sym pathy, and endeavored in vain to sub due tho noisy grief of the nurse, an old Irish country woman, who saw here a fine opportunity for a "whlllelul" She had met one of the servants as she came in and dispatched him for Dr. Mcarns, their trusted physician, and now sho busied herself bathing the injured child's face and trying to arouse her from tho stupor into which sho had fallen. Beny's body was still strangely con torted and her breathing heavy and unnatural. Professor Middleton seemed in a maze, and looked helplessly toward his wife, who was fully occupied in quieting the frightened and excited children, who cast fearful glances upon the helpless form of their once merry Berenice. In the midst of the confusion there came a gentle knock at the door, which was replied to by a general rush to open it, every one fan cying it to bo Dr. Mearns. The tall figure standing before thein appeared quite abashed, an 1 saying apologeti cally : " I be g pardon. I thought I might be of service, perhaps" was about to retreat when his hands were grasped by Professor Middleton, who drew him into the room, saying : " Come in I Come in, doctor I You may relieve her. Dr. Hartley, my dear," to his wife, and " my daughter, sir," ho added, turning to Brune. Burne, looking anxiously into his face, began telling how Berenice had fallen; but before she had finished, although Dr. Hartley heard all that she said, the room was quite clear of the ex cited group of servants and children, and he was carefully examining the little one. A grave look overshadowed his face, but whilo lie cut away her twisted clothing and applied something pungent and aromatic to her forehead and nose she appeared to revive. Then Dr. Hartley looking around was met by Professor Middleton and Dr. Mearns, and Brune left tho room, anx ious, yet dreading the result of the ex amination. Her father came forth looking much agitated, and in answer to her inquiring face kissed her twice, saying quite brokenly : "Brune, your sister is much hurt. The fall ha3 injured her spine," and he disappeared into the study, whither no one ever dared to follow. Brune went t her mother, who was greatly dis tressed for littlo Berenice, but whose anxieties were also roused in behalf of bady Jean, who with the usual con sideration of babies showed dangerous symptoms of croup. She sent Bruno back Ito Berenice, saying : " The charge of her must devolve upon you for the present. Constant watchful ness and care are required ;" and, see ing in her daughter's face the same bravo, steady look that it had worn when she came in with Berenice in her arms, she cried : " Bless you, my daughter, what should I do without you to depend upon ?" Tears sprang to Brune's eyes ana her heart swelled with pleasure at these words, she was of use, after all, and sho had a place to fill. Although she realized the danger her dear little sister was in, it was a relief to lind that upon her devolved something no one else could do, and she went to Beny's room resolved to leave nothing undone that could benefit her or allay her pain. Dr. Mearns, finding in Dr. Hartley an accomplished and experienced sur geon despite his apparent youth, ha 1 left the little patient in his charge, and through the night long they, Brune, nurse Xorah and the stranger watched beside tho child's bed side. It was pretty to 8"0 how dc-it and skinful a nurse was Brune; so intuifiv- Wero her perceptions of what sh ul ' be done that she seemed i to Mr. hiutley the very embodiment grace and mercy. Jiays went on and lengthened into weeks, and tho little sufferer so far recovered that all immodiato danger was passed. However, the shock to her system was great and her vital powers much reduced. It was necessary to carry her from place to place, and any careless grasp made her shriek in agony. Xo one carried her so com fortably as Dr. Hartley or " my Dr. Dick," as she affectionately styled him. He was the son of an old friend of Professor Middleton's, and being in Boynton, a village near the professor's Valley Home, on some business for his father on the day of Berenice's acci dent, had met and Introduced himself to the professor. The old familiar aame and the resemblance to his friend so touched tho warm-hearted old gentleman that he would listen to no excuse or delay, but carried off his prize forthwith to hi3 home that he might more com pletely enjoy heating of his boyhood's friend. Richard Hartley had a soul full of love for his chosen work and a mind and body well fitted to do well whatever he undertook. With these good grounds for success and favoring circumstances it is small wonder that he stood well in his profession. The errand that had brought him had long been satisfactorily attended to, but to his conscience and his neglected and remonstrating patients he had the same reply: "The daughter of my father's dear old friend has the best right to my attention." Well, time doth fly, we all know. It was early spring when Beny's fall made her the chief interest in the Val ley Home, and now the days were shortening fast and mists hung late and early over the reddening hills. Berenice still claimed her doctor's aid and her Brane's entertainment, and all things still yielded to her rather arbitrary will. However, urgent calls from his Southern home demand that Dr. Hartley shall return, and long grow all countenances when the word goes forth that oflly a few more days of grace remain. Shortly after making this announce ment the doctor joins Professor Mid dleton as he sallies forth on his usual geologizing expedition, which lasts even longer than usual, and results in the professor returning with a bewil dered look on his face, a basket empty of specimens, and minus his hammer, the inevitable companion of many a walk. He went straightway to Mrs. Middleton, demanded of her why she had not told him that Brune was a woman, and without awaiting a reply strode off to his library. Meantime Dr. Dick came into the house and, catching the sound of a sweet voice singing in Beny's room, he took himself there also. Pausing a moment at the door to subdue a glanc ing light in his eves and smooth away a tell-tale smile from his lip, he heard the words : . If we are poor and would be rich, it would not be by pining. No! steady heart and hopeful minds are Life'B bright silver lining. There's ne'er a man hat'i dared to hope, hath of his choice repented The happiest souls on ecrth are those who smile and are contented. Then as the song ceased he heard the querulous, sharp tones of Beny's voice demand : " Brune, did you ever find your ob ject?" "Why, what do you mean, dear?" replied Brune's softer voice. "Don't you recollect the day I broke my back, you know, the day that Dr. Dick came, you were up on the hill under the great oak tree looking for your object, and I've always wanted to see it." "You are my object, then, I expect. Bony, for I was thinking what an idle girl 1 was, and longing for something to do, and you've furnished me with quite enough, you little puss." This was an innocent speech to make, I'm sure, and I cannot understand why the color mounted to Brune's eyes as she made it, nor why those self-same eyes should seek a book all-unthought-of before, just as Dr. Dick came in, too. Beny wasn't satisfied at all, and stretched out her arms to him, exclaim ing eagerly : "Dr. Dick, Brune was looking for an object on the hill when I went to find her I What is that? An object to live for, she said she wanted. Have you got one?" she asked curiously. Dr. Dick's eyes looked deeper and bluer than ever, and, bending down to help find the still looked-for volume, he accidentally encountered Brune's little hand outstretched on the same quest, and Beny heard him say : " Have I, Bruno?" Beny's eyes grew larger and larger, and her indignation knew no bounds when Dr. Dick, after first neglecting to reply to her questions and then for getting to give her the much-hunted book, deliberately stood up between her, Brune's hand in his and said quietly : " Here is ray object, Beny." A winter South was tho only thing for Beny's health ; Dr. Hartley said bo ; Dr. Mearns reiterated it. The professor and Mrs. Middleton could not gainsay two such authorities. Accord ingly a month or two later we lind her comfortably and happily settle I at Livingston., the home of Dr. Hurtjey'a father, carefully and lovingly tended as before by her two obedient servants, Brune and Dr. Dick. But to this day she wonders why it is that Brune never seeks for an object in life, and what Dr. Dick could have meant by his reply that memorable day at Valley Home when he and Brune made up their minds to marry each other. Chicago Tribune. Coins Made of Wood. "You see," said the man on tho wharf, "I'm a carpenter, and when I landed in San Francisco I opened a shop and did better than some huckies in the mines. I did mostly fine jobs, Buch as fitting up saloons, cabinet work, and making gambling truck the last queer things, I tell you, full of tricks to cheat the greenies. " One day I got an order for a lot of wooden adobes. 'Adobes' were gold pieces of the value of f 50 each, and the man who gave the order the played-out secretary now hauling up a tom-ood yonder wanted 1,000. I smelled a rat, but kept mum, as secrecy was the keystone of half my trade. I set my lathe to work in a room care fully locked, and in due time had the contract filled. ' Xow I want you to gild these slugs, said the secretary, and send them down to Adams & Co.'s ollice about the time the mail steamer gets in. Keep dark and send in your bill.' I did. Old Moise let me have one of his gilders, and he did the work in good style. But for the weight you would never have taken those 'slugs' for anything but the simon-pure article. In the drawers they made a fine display, looking what they were intended to represent $50, 000 in gold. I boxed them up, sent them to Adams & Co.'s under cover of night, and read in the papers next morning of the arrival of $50,000 in adobes,' consigned to the banking house of well, you know the place on. Montgomery street, near Clay. As for; the name, that's nothing it's as dead; as the bank, its president and its board' of directors. I smiled, but said noth ing. The addition of those 1,000 slugs' helped the concern amazingly. It was only three months old, but it stood on its legs at once. I took some pride in the affair myself, as I was the creator of its financial support." Treatment of Sunstroke. Sunstroke wa3 in many Cincinnati cases during the terrible heat treated with hot water instead of cold. The following directions were published by such physicians as favored the plan: Lay the patient on his back, loosen the clothing so as to encourage a freeflow of blood; expose the chest, especially over the region of the heart, and with a large cloth, towel or sponge freely bathe the head, face, neck and chest with hot salt water, as hot as can be handled, continually adding more hot water and applying it until the patient is soft. Use one teaspoonf al of salt to every quart of hot water. Have the feet made bare and rubbed or slapped, and in extreme cases apply mustard poultices. Give internally, if a tem perate man, a teaspoonf ul of whisky in hot water; if a drinking man, use a little ammonia or hartshorn in hot water; if soon after a meal, put a tea spoonful of yellow mustard into a glass of warm water and have the patient drink it, following up with more until he vomits freely. As he convalesces give at first lime-water and milk (one fourth lime-water and three-fourths milk), afterward a liquid diet until the stomach is strong enough for solids. A Terrific Combat Search was made and a leopard and a cobra were found lying dead, side by side ; the latter having his head com pletely severed from below the hood, and the former his tongue and left jaw very much swollen, with a greenish white tint along the surface. At the time the two animals were found, the cobra had its head lying about a couple of inches from the'middle of its body. This prevents one arriving at any con clusion as to how the wounds were in flicted ; whether by one snap of the leopard's jaws, or by several crunches. Tho mutilated appearance of the head and neck of the cobra leads one to think that the leopard, being bitten in the dark by the cobra, flew at him; the. latter at the same time, making a second dart, wounded the leopard in the tongue or the jaw. The leopard then, closing his jaws on tho snake, commenced to crunch him at his leisure, as a cat would a mouse. La hore India) Uazette. Whero They Settle. "Good-morning, Mr. Smith; how are you?" " Xod ad all well, thag you. I've a fearful code id by head." 'It's a strange thing about colds, isn't it?" "How do you bead?" "Why, they always settle in the weakest place." Merchant-Tranlr. Patents in Mexico are issued only by special acta of the Federal lcgishir ture, like other laws. Under this rulo patents have been issued to the Bell Telephone and Brush Flectric conpa nies, and both inventions are in com mon use. How can the world know a man has a good thing unless he advertises, the possession of t? Vandtrlilt, An Angry Deer. A pet deer owned by Judge Hall, of Montecito, Cal., becoming angry, made a desperate attack upon a girl and a man, both of whom had a narrow escape from death. It was a male deer, about two years old, with keen, pointed horns, and wa3 kept tethered with a rope, but M as always gentle and peaceable, and a great favorite with the entire household. It man aged one day to free itself from the rope by which it was bound, and with out any apparent cause attacked the daughter of Judge Hall, a girl about fourteen years old, tossiDg her upon his horns and tearing her clothing very badly. Fortunately he tossed her into a tunnel excavated to afford a supply of water, and she had the presence of mind to lie still until ho went away. Then going to the house she told her story. About this time James II. Jacobs called, and was cautioned lest the deer should attack him as he attempted to leave the premises. The deer saw him and followed slowly after him, limping badly, as if he were lame. Believing he would have no difficulty in tying the deer, Mr. Jacobs picked up tho trailing, led the animal to the place where it had been fastened, and was stooping over to tie the rope, when the deer made a spring at him. The horns struck him upon the side of the leg, just over a pocket which contained a tobacco-pouch. The pouch wa3 com pletely pierced, but the force of the blow was checked, and Mr. Jacobs was not hurt. The second onset was far more disastrous. One plunge of the deer's horns completely pierced Mr. Jacobs' left cheek, inflicting an ugly, painful and somewhat dangerous wound. With a third bound the fran tic animal thrust a horn through the fleshy portion of Mr. Jacobs' leg. Be alizing that the contest was one of life and dtath, Mr. Jacobs then seized the maddened buck by the horns. The deer was very powerful, and would doubtless have soon overpowered his wounded and bleeding adversary. Mrs. Judge Hall and Mr?. Dr. Crocks, how ever, rushed to the rescue, the former bearing an ax. Mrs. Crooks caught the deer by the hind legs, and Mrs. Hall struck it a heavy blow on the back. The deer retorted by a severe kick, his hoof striking Mrs. Crooks arm near the shoulder. With great nerve Mrs. Crooks then seized tho ax, and, despite the struggles of the ani mal and the close proximity of Mr. Ja cobs' hands, plante 1 a full blow square ly in tho deer's forehead, stretching the animal upon the ground. The Rich Men of San Francisco. San Francisco has a long list of ab normally rich men. There are more millionaire fortunes in San Francisco than in any other American city, and, we presume, more than in any Euro pean city of corresponding population, unless it may be Amsterdam or Frank fort. It is a curious fact, and without one exception, that none spring from the wea'.thy class, nearly every one from the poorest class, and that only one brought any money to San Fran cisco. Only one is the graduate of a learned university ; only seven were educated to any profession, and till of these lawyers. So far as we know there is not a preacher or doctor or graduate of West Point in the lot. Twenty of the list were, in their youth, of the uneducated, barefoot class, whose early struggles were un aided by relatives or friends. Forty nine of our millionaires are American by l irt,h, eighteen are Irish, eight are Jews, live are German, four are Eng lish and one French. So far as we know, only three were born south of Mason and Dixon's line, and of these neither was from a slave-owning fam ily. Only seven have ever held politi cal position, there being one governor, three United States senators, a mem ber of Congress, and two members of assembly in the list. Outside of the Boman Catholic church and the syna gogue, but one is a member of church or professor of religion. To four of theso men we estimate $10,000,000 each. Five will range from $20,000, 000 to $10,000,000 ; two to $10,000,000 and five to $5,000,000 each, thus giv ing to sixteen persons over $300,000, ( 0i, and to the remainder, f ay, $150, 000,000 a total among the hereafter named residents of San Francisco of $450,000.000. Argonaut. The Largest Three Statues. A mania for tho erection of statues of dimensions such as the world has never seen before seems to have seized on the two rival countries of the con tinent Tho statue of the Republic in, the PIpco du Chateau d'l- an was dis played to public view on Saturday iiniid the rejoicings of the citizens of Paris, and in a few weeks the enor mous figure of Germania, which is being erected in honor of the victories of 1870 and 1871 on the Xie.lerwald, overlooking tho Rhine, will bo un filed in the presence of the emperor. Both of them will be dwarfed, how ever, by the huge statue of Liberty, which, through the generous contri butions of tho French nation, will be presented in a short time to the Amer icans. This will be at least 150 feet in height, and it will stand upon a ped estal of the same height, at the en trance of the harbor of Xew York, to welcome emigrants to tbe'r new home. -Pall Mall Uuivtte, A SUMMER IDYL. See t'ie frog, tho slimy, greon frog.- Dozing away on that old rotten log ; Feriously wondering What cnufed the tundering Of tho tail that lie wore When a pollywog. Feo tl e Loy, the freckled schoolboy, Famed for elatedness free from alloy, Watching tl e frog rerchod on the log With feelings akin to tumultuous joy. . Poa the rock, the hard, flinty rock, Which the freckled-faced boy at the fro doth reck, Conscious he's sinning, Yet gl( efully grinning At the likely result of its terrible shock. See grass, the treicherou3 grass Blip from behind his feet 1 Alas I Into the mud With a dull thud He falls, and rises a slimy mass. Now, see the frog, the hilarious frog, Dancing a jig on bis old rotten log, . Applying hU toes To his broad, blunt nose, As he laughs at the boy stuck fast in the bog. Look at the switch, the hickory switch, Waiting to make that sohoolboy twitch, When his mother knows The state of his clothes Won't he raise his voice to its highest pitch 1 HUMOR OF TIIE DAT. A frame of mind The skull. A pen picture A cattle yard. The home stretch Putting down a carpet. A crop report can be heard a long distance. Picayune. It Is the early watermelon that' catches the small boy. Little Sock Gazette. "Why do divers go to sea, George?" Why, to get at the bottom facts. Now, run away and think up a hard one." Hawkeye. Seeing a carriage full of belles and beaus drive by, Amidab remarked that that reminded him of a load of wooed. Marathon Independetit. "Under Green Apple Boughs," Is Helen Campbell's latest novel. This seems to imply a small boy and a good . deal of trouble and ginger and things. -Life. Sophronia: Certainly, slang 13 always objectionable. Instead of saying, MA -, dead give away," we should advise you frrt cov A TinathnTYiniiQ rlnnnt.inn ' Homercille Journal. It was the young tailor who said, referring to a rival for the affections of a young lady, that he thought he knew enough to be able to cut him ' out. Sornerville Journal. The cost of stopping a train of cars Is said to be from sixty to forty cents. AVhen the train is stopped by another train, these prices become somewhat intlated. Courier-Journal. There was a fair maid of Montrose, Who was as sweet as a f re3h budding rose 5 But a ruby excrescenoe Asserted its resenoe. And tinted the tip of her nose. Xew Vork Journal. Can a man marry his deceased wife's sister in any part of America? Eng lishman. Xot unless the sister is will ing, and as a general thing she isn't. She knows him too well. Philadel phia News. It is calculated by scientists that a man can make more of a blamed nuisance of himself in five minutes tvith a garden hose than he can in an hour and a half by any other method. Lowell Citizen. An editor is writing a series of arti cles on "Some Liars I Have Known." If he has not been a journalist more than a year or two, is not too elab orate in his descriptions, and publishes three columns a day, he may be able to conclude the series by Christmas, 18S9.P rores?. When traveling on a railroad it is said that lying with the head toward the engine will often cure a headache. A more effective remedy is to lie with the head on the railroad track in front of an engine. The latter recipe Is warranted, or the money refunded. Norristoum Herald. An Illinois editor thus sarcastically speaks of the marriage of a profes sional brother in Indiana: "Ho stepped upon the hymeneal platform, adjusted tho fatal noose, and was swung off into that unsilent bourne whence he can never return save by the Indianapolis or connecting lines." A genuine dude has struck Laramie. He has a homeopathic head and allo pathic feet. His pants are s; tight that he never takes them off, and he has a plate glass window in one eye. He got on the wildest k'n.l of a de bauch la-t night with half an ounce of pepper sauce and a bunch of cigarette-. He hails from Xew York. lioome rang. A NOVEL. A moon, m sky, A church, an ainl '. A mountain high, Borne, fo'.ks in Btj 1 A lime; Aside; Koine tree, some grass, A vow, a bund, A youth, a lass, A bridenroom, and A t un'). A bride. A finite, anil sihs, Aiiddi'tjopiuij eyes, AlitOi An arm, u waist, A Bijuee.eiu hus:e, A tenement, Top rloor.i'ucap rent Not all; Ten children gay, Who love to play, 1 And bawl. Titus S. Church, of Boston, is the only colored man in this country who has taken out a pateut fort" inven tion. '
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers