Rates of Advertising. One qnnro (1 inch,)nr,e Insertion - $! One Square " one tnorit li - - ! M OneHquaro " llirco months - i f OnnHquarn " one year - - 10 ci Two Squares, one year - - ln Q uarter Col. ---- :'. 0 Half " " - V' ' 0 0ne .. ...... 10000 Iepral notices at established rates. Marriage, and death notices, grntis. All bills lor yearly advertisements -,,.. looted quarterly. Temporary advert isf ments must be paid for in advance. Job work, Cash on Delivery. 13 rUBLtltllED EVERY WEDNESDAY, BY CfPICB 15 I&BIN301f k BOMEE'B BUILDDfO ELM 8TREET, TIOKESTA, PA. TEItMS, 11.60 A, TEAR. No Subscription received for a shorter pnrlOd than throe tnontliH. Correspondence soliollod irom nil purls oftho country. No notion will bo taken bf anonymous communications. VOL. XII. NO. 15. TIONESTA, PA., JULY 2, 1870. $1,50 Per Annum. Summer. , Oh, brightest season oftlte year I '1 lion whitu-robod goddess all divina! Wo bow in homage at thy shrine, And roses strew o'or spring's cold bior! 8o liko thy sinter spring thou'rt Been,' In vernal drapery ol green Vit.h flowery skirt, as only natnro wenrs AVhun she in happiest mood appears, la the soil and Bunny hours Uroidered and decked witli greenest leaves, 'And garlafidod with rarest flowers; Whilo on'thy head a floral crown wo place, jAnd in thy hand a lily lor thy mace! Oh, summer queen! with air ol graco, Thou request sweetly in thy youtlifulprido; i Oh, poorloss queen with bonnio lace ! Scatter sweet blossoms strew them lar and wide! Fuif Holds of waving grain, Vith myriad webs of shining pearls, I)ie tangled thick upon the waving plain; k And tufted blossoms lilt their yellow boads Tocatch the dew-drops slmkon Irom the blades! In nwv dunces thn morn advances. How dow"-wot flag o'er all unfurls! Soft flooding Btuals its mullow light along. Melting the morning mists, and waking song, Till o9t the goldon-skirtod clouds advance, ' Uc joining in relieved radiance Of thine, oh, bright, luxurious summer. Oronnd-ivy and clover are now creeping ovor The heather and lawn; While lilies uro blowing, and violets showing Their, gold hearts glowing and glad to the . dawn. Whilo hero, amid the shellering wood, Tlfo robin and the bluo bird brood ; Tho song l)irds at night attest their delight, . That tho rout hour is nigh; Tho sad whip-poor-will and tho bell-bird, still io woods with their lojio reply; Then, in rhapsodyjertd they foretell the au- .rorul lUnsh of day-dawning sky! Now rural maidens their trcssos twine - With fragnint buds of columbine. And gleefully o'er hill and vale, Lights floats the sweet and wandering gnlo! Or while I walk through meadows wide, Or watch tho rippling river's tide, Fresh odors, delicate and rare, , Forfumo the warm and ambient air - Vi. .l.nA .mlt .nair 1.1fA.it.w. aiitmnnr M, 1 lltUU, VII, Unj , U.WY.I.ll DIIIIIIIIVI Forthco for thee! Tho glad earth throbs beneath thy feet, For thee, ol., warm und dreamy summer! While gleeful nature smiles to greet . Thy happy face; The heavens rejoico in thy glad voico, Aud winning grace, Oh, solt, sweet sheeny uunmer! Late apple blooms witli ardor blush, And cherries smile with tinted Hush; Tho peach troo buds ore crimson red, Whilo tnneful warblers plpo o'cihead, For thee, oh, Irugruut, Iruillul summer! The busy little honey-bee Makes merry drone in locust tree Now by its coining and its going, And by its humming, it is showing . 'The love it beurs to'thoo To thoo, oh, honey-laden summer! The love it. beurs to thee ! Luther G. liiyys, in Jeu York Muil. GERTRUDE'S ABDUCTION. ltY SAMl'I'.I. AYF.ltS. "Miss Gertrude, I Jiave important news for. you," said Edward Ruther ford ns hcorossed the handsomely-car peted floor of the luxurious parlor ot tin Moor mansion, to where the young und beaut uul (uTtrutle Moor stood by window reading a book, in which she was so much interested that she was not aware of Edward a presence until he had spoken "What is it?" asked she, ns with ' crimson checks she glanced from the book toward Edward. " You have probably hoard that I vis- .. Y.I 1 - .1 1. f 1 ?.l it W iron ine saioons last iuiiill wiin tne ivev Keuben Homes, who wished to secure items for a sermon which lie intunds to preach in the Methodist church next Sabbath." " Yes. sir, father spoke of it this morn ing; but how can that be of itny import ancetomc."" "Listen, Miss Gertrude, and you shall hear. I havejiot language to describe the discustinir sights that we witnessed We visited four of those gambling -dens " in each of which were a number of rougd haggard-looking men encaged in drunken revelry. 'A'hera was not young man in either of the first two we visited, which was a great satisfaction to me; but as we entered tho third one I beheld among tho group that sur rounded tho card table three young men . and one of them was " "Harold," said Gertrude, sarcastically " Yes, it was Harold." ' Nonsense,. Mr. Ruthwford." cried Gertrude, in angry tones, "I-vould not believe such a thing of Harold Ful ton thoughan angel should, proclaim it to me." " Very well. You will learn some da that it is really true. Would to God it were false ; for then you wouid not be come a drunkard's wife. I must now hasten back to tho store, as I shall leave town by tho one o'clock train." And without waiting for a reply from un grateful Gertrude he bowed very courte ously to her and departed. Edward Rutherford had been in the employ of Moor & Co. for nearly two years, during which time he had learned to love Miss Gertrude Moor, daughter of the senior member of the firm, very dearly, and had resolved that when his financial circumstances-would allow to ask her to be his wife; but now all hones were vain; for Gertrude was engaged to Harold Fulton, a young man of reputed wealth who had been in the town only a few weeks. It was with a great effort that ho succeeded in allaying his sorrow at the untimely end ol Ins brightest liopes; but lie was determined that Gertrude should never know how dear she had been to him. Fearine that she might detect a trace of the feelings that agitated Ins breast, it, he had refrained from visiting ineo ho had heard of her engage- her sin mcnt; but the incidents of the previous night had induced him to seek lier pres ence to convey to her the intelligence that might save her from becoming the wife of a man whom he now knew to be unworthy of her. . (iertrudo watched mm as no proceeded to the store, bitterly regretting her un kind words; for she had observed the expression of sorrow on Ins lace and knew lie leit Hurt. so mucn nad ner feeling toward him changed that a tear trickled down her face as she thought how much happier she would bo were she engaged to him, whose love she had never doubted, than to Harold, whom she now believed to be a drunkard and probably only courted her for her money. Had she known that weeks must intervene ere she should behold Kd ward's face again she would doubt less have went bitterly; but she did not understand Ins last remark to her, and when, an hour afterward, he was on the train miles away from her, she sup- losed him to be in tho store attending to lis duties. After a vain attempt to console her mind by reading, she went into the library and wrote Edward a letter, bog trine nardon for what sho had said. When her father arose to return to the store, after supper that evening, she gave mm the letter. He read the address and returned it to her, saying, " He is not there." "Whore i3 lie?" asked Gertrude, in surprise, dreading to hear the answer. "He lias gone to l'liiiadeipma on business for tho firm, and, as he passes near his father's, he intends to stop on his return and spend two or three weeks with his relatives. It is a busy time to let him go, but ho has not been at home for nearly a year nnd I could not well deny his request. I am sorry you did not use more courtesy toward the noblo fellow when lie came to bid you good bye. It would " "v hen lie came to bid me good-Dyer"' interrupted astonished Gertrude. " Yes. and vou treated him so indiffer ently that lie returned to the store very much grieved. " But, father, ho never bid me good bye!" 1 only know that ho said lie would run up and see you before leaving, and that when be came back lie was very much agitated." And Mr. Moor has toned away, leaving Gertrude to her own reflections. . Before closing her eyes in sloop that night she resolved to tree herself from her engagement to Harold at their next meeting, for she was sure that what Ed ward had told her was true, and she ould never become tho wife of a man who was guiltv of such conduct. She arose very early on the following morn ing nnd wrote Fid ward a letter, telling him how bitterly she regretted her cruel words and asking his pardon. She also told him of her intention to free herself from her ontratrement to Harold, Hav ins: sealed tho letter in a neat white en velope on winch she had previously written his address, she took it to the postofliee. Dead stillness reigned over the town, and sho had thought to get back to her room without being ob served; but as sho was returning she met Harold t ulton, Ins haggard coun tenance and unsteady gait betraying the effects of debauchery. She passed by him without seeming to know him and burned liome. Mie did not relate ner meeting with Harold to her parents, but when at breakfast her father spoke of engaging him as a clerk until Edward s return, she protested against it. He was, however, that day employed. He called on Gertrude in the evening and requested her not to tell her father of their meeting that morning. She told him that she would comply with his re quest, and also that ho must consider their engagement as ended, as she could never marry mm I his did notpleaso liini, ana he went away very angry. The Methodist tliurcn stood in a beautiful grove on a small eminence overlooking the town. Thither on the following day, which was Sunda", Ger trude, accompanied by her parents, went to hear the Kev. Keuben Homes deliver his sermon on intemperance. He illus trated the folly of intemperance, showed how strongly its guilt is denounced traced its ellects on its victims, andt wound up by showing the drunkard's doom. In tracing its eltects on its vie tims, he gave an account of his visit to the saloons, describing vividly what he saw there, oertrude was inspired with new courage in her resolution never to marrv a drunkard. At the close of meetine Harold asked permission to ao company her home, which she politely refused. She observed his sullen brow and revengeful look, but heeded them not. A week passed away and then there came a letter from Edward, a letter of passionate love and devotion, winding up witu a proposal 01 marriage, tier trude, exultant in her new love, immedi fttoly answered, accepting his proposal, and bt gging him to hasten to her. Harold .soon heard of her engagement and forthwith left town. On the day alter in0 departure tjertrude received a letter from him, in which ho told her that as she had refused to be his wife, he had sworn that she should never be Edward's. He warned her at the peril tf Edward's life to tell no one the con tents of his letter. After consideration, she determined to send it to Edward, which sho did by tho next mail." She thought it best, however, to say nothing about it to her parents. Three days after Harold's departure the discovery was made that the firm of Moor & Co. had been robbed of $340 in banknotes, the thief having placed bogus money in Jieu of what he had taken, to avoid immediate detection. Suspicion at once pointed to Harold, and detectives were placed on Ins track. Another week flew by and Edward's return drew near. He had shortened bis stav at homo In order to he with Gertrude. Nothing had been heard of Harold, though careful search had been made for him. It was the universal opinion that he had sought refuge in tho Mr. Moor's for Edward's reception, nnd nil went merry, as though nothing wrong tar West. Preparations were made at had occurred; for, indeed, Gertrude's parents felt grateful that Harold had only gotten $340 instead of their affec tionate daughter, whose happiness would have been wrecked had she become his wife. We have stated that it was the univer sal opinion that Harold had gone West; but there was at least one-exception. Gertrude did not believe it. She could not forget what he had written to her. Sho was more than once about to tell her fiarents, but tho warning ho had given lor prevented her doing so. On the night preceding the day on which Ed ward was expected to arrive, she retired to her room at an early hour. Her mind was filled with apprehensions of evil. She spent several hours in meditation, occasionally breathing a silent prayer to God that all might be well with Edward and that she might see him on the mor row. She never onco thought of her own safety. Why should sheP Harold had made no threats against her, and besides she was apparently beyond his reach. The clock had tolled the hour of twelve. Gertrude felt drowsy, but feared to close her eyes in slumber lest sho should be awakened by some horrible dream. At last, however, despite her efforts, she fell asleep on the chair with her head reclining on the stand, some time afterward she awoke very much frightened. How long she had slept she did not know. The candle had gone out and the room was enveloped in dark ness. Mie endeavored to recall the cause of her fright; but, failing to do so, she nung berselt on the bed ana was soon wrapped in slumber again. Hut once more she awoke. The room was dimly lighted by tho moon, which had just risen. A rustling noise on the carpet at tracted her attention, and, looking in the direction of the window whence the noise came, she saw a man stealthily ad vancing toward her. bhe sprang to Her leot and attempted to scream; but a strong arm was placed around her waist and a hand over lier mouth, and a voice which she knew whispered in her ear, Attempt to escape or make a noise, pretty bird, if you dare." Lifting her in his arms, lie glided out of the window nnd hurried through tho lot back of the house to the alley, where a carnage awaited him. into which he conveyed the terrified girl and gave orders to the driver to make all possible speed, as day light was last approaching. Jjortrurte wept very bitterly. She was now in the hands of Harold Fulton. What fate a waited her she could not tell; but she prayed that (od might give her strength to endure whatever should come. An hour had elapsed, and the carriage was rolling rapidly along t he road, when Gertrude, whose weeping had somewhat subsided, discovered that Harold was asleep. No words had been spoken since starting except by tho driver, who swore occasionally at the horses, but for sometime he, too, had been silent (iertrudo at onco conceived the idea of making her escape. She listened a few minutes at Harold's heavy breathing. and being satisfied that he was asleep. she arose softly and looked out of the rear end of tho carriage. She could easily and silently let herself to the ground, she thought. She stood motion less, uncertain what to do. The driver cracked his whip ovor the horses, and the carriage went rolling along at in creased speed. Her heart, beat heavily and seemed to rise in her throat, for she feared she would be detected. She gave one stop toward tne seat; but no, she would risk detection rather than submit quietly to the doom that awaited her if she remained in Harold's power. She glanced at the driver to see that he was not observing her, and with a prayer on her lips that her undertaking might be successful, she slid noiselessly to the ground, iso one Had seen ner. and soon the noise of the receding carnage died in tne distance, inrowing lierselt on her knees, the young girl, who had boon brought up by religious parents, thanked the God whom she had lsaraed to trust from childhood for the success of her undertaking thus far, and implored Him to enable ner to return sate homo again Rising from her knees, she began at once her journey ; for well she knew that sooner or later her escape would be discovered, and an attempt made to re- capture ner, On, on she went, getting nearer and nearer home. Day dawned, the sun rose in all its majestic splendor and cast its retulgent rays over the earth. Eventually our heroine drew near the town. Soon she expected to be safe at home. Rut now the hopes that all along Had nued lier breast gave way to despair : tor, looking back, she observed a horse. man approaching her at full speed. She thought it must be Harold. Determined on a last ellort, she began to run ; but she was sure this could not bust lonir He was fast gaining on her, nnd she wsis expecting soon to be seized in his ruth less grasp, when a half dozen horsemen came galloping around a curve in the road, and she fell fainting to the ground as tney dasned lunously past her. A nveiy race ciisueu, which resulted in Harold's capture. But there was one who did not engage in the pursuit. It was Fdward Kutuertord. who had ar f ived in town by the six o'clock train. and, learning soon after of Gertrude's abduction, had engaged at once in the search, lie alighted and endeavored to revive her, but failing in tli!3 he took her in his arms and 4'ode back to town, where medical assistance was procured and she was soon restored to conscious ness. A few weeks afterward Edward nnd Gertrude were married in tho Methodist church by the Rev. Reuben Homes. Edward is now a partner in the linn of .Moor (5 U). as to iiaroin fuiton. lie was con victed and sent to prison for live years At the expiration ol his sentence he went to the West, and was never again heard of by those whom he had persecuted and sought to wrong. A Suggestion. We have not spaeo in the Register for an "tended tale; but we have evolved ftn u? for one which idea we are too unselfish to withhold from a waiting public, because we cannot get all the glory of it. If some skillful pen will but nil in uiis oare outline wiin ricn mo toric and vivid imagination, not only will some " lnterestin' readin' " be pro duced, but a great moral engine will be sent into the world to accomplish great good. We should, perhaps, entitle our romance A BRAND FROM THE BURNING; Oil, THE DELINQUENT SUKSCIUIlEK S SAL VATION." We would introduce the first chapter with a picture of the heretofore honest and prosperous farmer's happy home. The angel of peace dwelleth there, and the country paper comes to his postollice box every week. Having been supporting tins county paper for some four years without paying for it, he is surprised one day to get a po lite note frfn the publisher to casli up. Indignant at being dunned, he resolves to punish the base insulter of his dignity by beating mm out ot tlie whole bill. Ah, rash resolve! " This, this, the source of all thy ills'." As delay makes ni3 tatal purpose mani fest, direful consequences follow; his friends fall away and recognize him no more ; the wife of his bosom deserts him and files an application in a Chicago po nce court lor divorce; ins daughter elopes with a lightning-rod peddler and Ins best horse and buggy; Ins son, losing all self-resnect in his father's degrada tion, goes to the city and enters politics ; his cattle start on " a iourney to the cen ter oftho earth," through a neighboring quagmire; his hogs die of cholera; his corn yields only tassels all mankind and nature seem to conspire Ins ruin. Job had his comforters, spiritual and human ; but " what cliarm snail soothe tliemelan cholv" of the wretch who bears upon his soul the purpose of defrauding the trustlul editor! Chapter 2. At last, deserted by all but his faithful dog (who has been kept in ignorance ot the lacts ot the ease), our delinquent resolves to end his bitter existence by suicide. (We suggest to the previously-mentioned skillful pen that the scene nere should be very gloomy dark cliffs, stormy sea, blood-red sun. etc.) Just as he is about to drain the fatal draught (or shoot the fatal shot, or stab the fatal stab we also leave this to the taste of the filler-in) the spirit of mercy, willing to give the old man an other chance, inspires within him the thought "Suppose I pay the printer. and all may yet be well!" Seizing the idea with avidity, and the dog by the collar, he hies him to the neighlioring town. Realizing there thirteen dollars from the sale of this faithful animal, he repairs to the editorial sanctum, pays his arrears and lor a year in advance, and has enough lett to "set 'em un all around." His atonement is complete. and lie walks lortn once more " a man among his fellow-men." (The editor's astonishment and joy at being the pos sessor of eleven dollars all at one time should be artistically pictured.) Cn aptek shows tile inevitablv happy result of this Christian action. Fortune smiles broadly upon him once more his wife withdraws her divorce suit and re turns to his arms; the eloping liaJitning- rod peddler turns out a wealthy Russian count in disguise, and restores to our larmer tne lost broad acres; the son abandons political life and becomes once more a respectable citizen; ins kinewax fat, and hjs wheat fields yield some sixty and some a nunarea-ioiu. J. lie scene closes with a bright picture of the prompt-paying subscriber's happy fire side If the above sketch, graphically de-N lineated and broadly published, does not rouse many a delinquent conscience into action, then is all moral suasion vain, and the butt end ot the law our only re course. rrtnters lieuwicr. Cabbage-Tree JfeTs Story. A writer in the Boston Commercial Bulletin upon life in Australia relates this yarn: Une ot the stories told me bv the driver as we ioltedalonir had relation to the depth of the mud which covered the road, l have heard the same story in various forms since, for Ned was in the habit of telling it to every passenger that lie carried to the diggings. 1 have also heard the same story assigned to a California driver. No matter; 1 know it was told to me by Cabbage-Tree Ned in isaa. " You see, young fellow." said ho. " I was driving along keeping well to tho right of the road where the mud was shallowest, lor I knew that 1 had a heavy load which 'ud prevent the coach from floating, and besides none 'o my horses could swim. I had just got to about where we are now when I noticed what I thought was a hat moving nloti" on the top ot the mud just a little ahead o me on my leit. " I could not make out what it was at first, but at last I seed it was a hat and I felt kind o' frightened. Not that I'd tie ingutenea at a hat, but what 1 was frightened at was that the hat was mov ing aiong in tne same direction as niy- seii without any visible means. Jingo iinnks i, now nere s a go; what the deuce can it be? By-and-bye I came up abreast of it, and then got a little ahead ot it. men I seed there was a lace un der the hat jingo if it wasn't a man. llano, ineiid, "says I, "what are you tramping through the mud in that way for? Come along hero, and I'll give you a nit in tne coach. ' " YV hat would I get into your coach for," he cried, "and leave my own horse ?" "And sure enough he was rid ing a horse, for I saw the ears of the animal just ahead of him sticking out of the mud, but the horse, being tired, was swimming low; yes, tho' mud was very deep that day," In the Trenches nt Cold Harbor. A writer in the New York Sun, who was a young primer in the Federal army, gives this incident of life in the trenches at Cold Harbor, Va., during the terrific fighting early in, lune, 1804: By daylight we had our earthwork finished, and were safe. The heavy artillery, nrmed as in fantry, were some sixty or seventy yards in front of us. We being on the crest of the hill, they were below us. Behind us were a couple of Delaware regiments, tho two havingabout MOmen combined. Back of us was a ravine, an alder swamp, and in the thickets bordering on the swamp was a spring of clear, cold water. The men in front ot us had to go to this spring for water. They would draw lots to see who should run across the danger ous open grounds. This settled, the vic tim would hang fifteen or twenty can teens around him: then, crouching low in tho rifle pits, ho would give a great jump, and when lie struck the ground, was running at the top of His speed lor our earthwork. Of course every Confed erate sharpshooter in range fired at him. Some of tliese men were shot dead ; but generally they ran into the earthwork with a laugh. Alter .nilins their can teens, they would sit and smoke and talk, nervinjj themselves tor the deadly return. Adjusting the canteens, they would go out of tho works on a run, and run back over the bullet-swept course. Some times they would come to us in pairs. One day two Albany men came leaping into our battery. Alter hliing tneir can teens, they sat and talked of the beauti ful city on the Hudson, and finally started together for their rifle pit. I watched through an embrasure and saw one fall. Instantly Le began to dig a little hollow with his hands in the sandy soil, and instantly the Confederate sharp shooters went to work on him. The dust flow upon one side of him, then on the other. The wounded soldier kept scrap ing his little trench in the sand. AY e called to him. He answered that his leg was "broken below the knee by a rifle ball. From the rifle pit wo heard them call to him to take offhis canteens, tie the strings together and set them on one side. He did so, and the thirsty men in the pits drew lots to see who would risk his life for the water. I got keenly in terested in this dicing with death, and watched intent. A soldier springs out of the pit. Running obliquely, lie stoops as he passes the canteens, grasps the strings, turns, and in a flash is safe. Looking out I see tho dust rise in little pulls around the wounded man, and with quickening breath feel that his minutes are numbered. 1 note a conspicuous man in the rifle pit, and recognize him ns the comrade ot the stricken soldier He calls to his disabled friend saying that he is coming for him, and that he must rise as becomes near, and cling to him when he stops, The hero leaves the pit on a run ; the wounded man rises up ; the runner clasps him in his arms; the arms of the wounded one twine about his neck, and he is carried into our bat tery at full speed. To the honor of the Confederate sharpshooters be it said that when they understood what was being done they ceased shooting. Natural Enemies of the Telegraph. There is, apparently, no apparatus so liable to be interfered with by what we may call natural causes as the electric telegraph. Fish gnaw and mollusks overweight and break the submarine con ductors of the subterranean wires; whili there is at least one instance of a frolic some wlinta entangling liimsell in a deep sea cable, to its utter disorganiza tion. It is stated that within the three years ending 1878 there have been sixty serious interruptions to telegraphic com mnnication, in Sumatra, by elephants, In one instance, these sagacious animals. most likely fearing snares, destroyed a considerable portion of the line, hiding away the wires and insulators in a cane brake. Monkeys ol all tribes and sizes. t. in .that fored island, use the poles and wires as gymnasia, occasionally breaking them and carrying off the in sulators; wlnlo the numerous tigers. bears and bunaloes on the track render tho watching and repair of the line duty of great danger. In Australia, where there are no wild animals to in hire the wires, which are carried great distances overland, they arc said to bo frequently cut down by the scarcely less wild aborigines, who manufacture from them rings, armlets and other varieties of barbaric ornament. It lias been sug gested as a means of protection in this case that tho posts should be construe ted of iron, when the battery could bo used to astonish any native climbing them with felonious intent. SeieiUiJic American. An Accommodating Artist. Tho following story is told of Thomas Hicks, the artist. The scene was Tren ton Falls, N. Y., a summer or two ago. Mr. 1 licks, who had been on a trouting expedition, was approaching tho inn with a single large trout, which lie in tended to sketch, when a gentleman who had just arrived with a party of ladies, noting his rough fisherman's costume, took him for a servant of the house, and called out: "Here, my man, do you know all about the falls? '; "Yes, sir," replied the artist. "Come, now, show us the way there." "Certainly." 1 lie artist led the way to tho falls, and on tho way was so entertaining that the tourist insisted on his going over the whole route with him. At the close of the journey he handed the artist a dollar, and asked bis name. "Tom," was the reply. "Well, Tom, you are tho most intelligent guide I ever met, and ought to bo in belter business. If you over come to New York call on me, and I will try and help you." "Thank you, sir," said the artist, who had keenly en joyed the situation, and had accepted the dollar rather than moitily the guest by an explanation. Next day the guest told the landlord that he wanted to se cure " Tom's " services another day. As the landlord replied that no " Toin' was in ins service, tne truth soon came out, but Mr. Hicks keeps the dollar as a sou venir of his afternoon's work us a guide. Farm Life. Saw yo tho lnrmer at his plow, As yo were riding by T Or wearied 'neath the noonday toil, When summer Buns were high ? And thought you that his lot was hard, And did you thank your God That you and yours wero not condemned Thus like a slave to plod T Como see him at his harvest, home, When garden, field nnd tree Conspire with flowing store to fill His barn and ginnery ; His beautiful children gayly sport Amid the new-mown hay, Or proudly aid with vigorous arm His bisks ns best they may. The Harvest-Giver is his friend, The Mukcr of tho soil, And earth, the mother, gives them bread, And cheers their patient toil; Como join them around their winter hearth, Tho honrtlelt pleasure see And you can bettor judge how blest The farmer's lite may ho. Mr. Signurney. ITEMS OF INTEREST. A turtle recently brought to New York was eight feet long and six feet broad. North and South Carolina and Louis iana produce annually 80,000,000 pounds of i ice. It is a peculiar feature of the butler market that a bad article outranks a good one. A wife costs ten cows in Zululand. What can be the matter with the cows! Boston rosl. This is the time ot tho year when the sentimental youth names a row-boat after ins girl, and hits it painted green. Mr. Vanderbilt's income is ovor i?l,0T0 an hour which, says a Western editor, is more than some of us make m a whole clay. If you are over-anxious to know why the elephant wears a trunk, irritate him sufficiently, and you will discover that be carries bis cliolerinit. Jew Haven Megistcr. " There are too many women in the world ; sixty thousand more women than men in Massachusetts," growled the husband. " That is the ' survival of tho fittest,' my dear," replied the wife. Ovor 50,000 tea plants have lately been distributed in the Middle and Southern States by the United States Bureau of AllVUllUltt All ttUUUU 1UUL (J.tflh3 nl. r i 1 1 V-vrk 1.1 i.rvrk nnnttnli 4--t n11-v nr . full picking of leaves. " Well, how is the spring trade?" said a gentleman to a friend the other day. " Dry goods never brisker," w:is the re ply. "My wife shops all day, every chair in the house is covered with bun dles, and I think of sending my pocket book out of town for a change of air it's so thin." About this time of year city people arc getting terribly anxious about the welfare ot the country cousin. This anxiety and solicitude will grow as the season advances, nnd, when they can bear it no longer, they will pack un four children and two trunks and go nnd sec about it. Middletown Transcript. k. NICE RCKHAM. Gaily the maiden, In colors bright, Walks with her lover In the twilight, Chattering so merrily O'er hill und dale, Till they encounter " Ice cream lor sale" Then tho young man wishes that Soerules hud never dis covered ice-creum, or that 1:j hud borrowed a quarter he fore he loll homo. , JVew York Express. IMllll LO Vf 111 UC 1IU11U LIT iVt lJ TT Ik Stat 1st les for (J iris. A young English statistician who was paying court to a young lady, thought to surprise lier with his immense erudi tion. Producing his note-book, she thought he was about to indite a love sonnet, but was slightly taken aback by the following question : "How many meals do you eat a day?" "Why, three, of course; but of all the oddest questions." " Never mind, dear, I'll tell you all about it in a moment." His pencil was rapidly at work. At List, fondly clasping her slender waist : "Now, my darling, I've got it, and if you wish to know how much hits passed through that adorable little mouth in the last seventeen years, 1 can give you the exact figures." "Goodness! Gracious! What can you mean? " " Now, just listen," says he, " and you will hear exactly what you have been obliged to absorb to maintain those charms which are to make the happiness cf my life." " But I don't want to hear," " Ah, you are surprised, no doubt, but statistics are wonderful things." "Just listen. You are now seventeen years old, so inai in niiccn years you have absorbed oxen or calves, 5; sheep and lambs, 14; chickens, 3'-'7; ducks, 304; geese, 12; turkeys, 1(H); game of various kinds, 821; hshes, lf0; eggs, 3,124; vegetables (bunches), 700; fruit (baskets), 003; cheese, 102; bread, cake, etc., (in sacks of Hour), 40; tea and collee (cups), IH.tiOO; water (gallons), 3,000." At this the maiden revolted, and jumping up, exclaimed: "I tiiniK you are very nuperwncui, and disgusting besides, and 1 will not stay to listen to you!" upon which sho llew into the house. lie gazed after her with an abstracted air and left, saying to himself: "If she kept talking at that rate twelve hours out of twenty-four, her jaws would in twenty years travel a dis tance of 1,332,124 miles." The maiden within two months mar ried a well-to-do grocer, who was no statistician.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers