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VOL. XII. NO. 15.
TIONESTA, PA., JULY 2, 1870.
$1,50 Per Annum.
Summer. ,
Oh, brightest season oftlte year I
'1 lion whitu-robod goddess all divina!
Wo bow in homage at thy shrine,
And roses strew o'or spring's cold bior!
8o liko thy sinter spring thou'rt Been,'
In vernal drapery ol green
Vit.h flowery skirt, as only natnro wenrs
AVhun she in happiest mood appears,
la the soil and Bunny hours
Uroidered and decked witli greenest leaves,
'And garlafidod with rarest flowers;
Whilo on'thy head a floral crown wo place,
jAnd in thy hand a lily lor thy mace!
Oh, summer queen! with air ol graco,
Thou request sweetly in thy youtlifulprido;
i Oh, poorloss queen with bonnio lace !
Scatter sweet blossoms strew them lar and
wide!
Fuif Holds of waving grain,
Vith myriad webs of shining pearls,
I)ie tangled thick upon the waving plain;
k And tufted blossoms lilt their yellow boads
Tocatch the dew-drops slmkon Irom the blades!
In nwv dunces thn morn advances.
How dow"-wot flag o'er all unfurls!
Soft flooding Btuals its mullow light along.
Melting the morning mists, and waking song,
Till o9t the goldon-skirtod clouds advance,
' Uc joining in relieved radiance
Of thine, oh, bright, luxurious summer.
Oronnd-ivy and clover are now creeping ovor
The heather and lawn;
While lilies uro blowing, and violets showing
Their, gold hearts glowing and glad to the
. dawn.
Whilo hero, amid the shellering wood,
Tlfo robin and the bluo bird brood ;
Tho song l)irds at night attest their delight,
. That tho rout hour is nigh;
Tho sad whip-poor-will and tho bell-bird, still
io woods with their lojio reply;
Then, in rhapsodyjertd they foretell the au-
.rorul
lUnsh of day-dawning sky!
Now rural maidens their trcssos twine
- With fragnint buds of columbine.
And gleefully o'er hill and vale,
Lights floats the sweet and wandering gnlo!
Or while I walk through meadows wide,
Or watch tho rippling river's tide,
Fresh odors, delicate and rare,
, Forfumo the warm and ambient air -
Vi. .l.nA .mlt .nair 1.1fA.it.w. aiitmnnr
M, 1 lltUU, VII, Unj , U.WY.I.ll DIIIIIIIIVI
Forthco for thee!
Tho glad earth throbs beneath thy feet,
For thee, ol., warm und dreamy summer!
While gleeful nature smiles to greet .
Thy happy face;
The heavens rejoico in thy glad voico,
Aud winning grace,
Oh, solt, sweet sheeny uunmer!
Late apple blooms witli ardor blush,
And cherries smile with tinted Hush;
Tho peach troo buds ore crimson red,
Whilo tnneful warblers plpo o'cihead,
For thee, oh, Irugruut, Iruillul summer!
The busy little honey-bee
Makes merry drone in locust tree
Now by its coining and its going,
And by its humming, it is showing
. 'The love it beurs to'thoo
To thoo, oh, honey-laden summer!
The love it. beurs to thee !
Luther G. liiyys, in Jeu York Muil.
GERTRUDE'S ABDUCTION.
ltY SAMl'I'.I. AYF.ltS.
"Miss Gertrude, I Jiave important
news for. you," said Edward Ruther
ford ns hcorossed the handsomely-car
peted floor of the luxurious parlor ot tin
Moor mansion, to where the young und
beaut uul (uTtrutle Moor stood by
window reading a book, in which she
was so much interested that she was not
aware of Edward a presence until he had
spoken
"What is it?" asked she, ns with
' crimson checks she glanced from the
book toward Edward.
" You have probably hoard that I vis-
.. Y.I 1 - .1 1. f 1 ?.l it W
iron ine saioons last iuiiill wiin tne ivev
Keuben Homes, who wished to secure
items for a sermon which lie intunds to
preach in the Methodist church next
Sabbath."
" Yes. sir, father spoke of it this morn
ing; but how can that be of itny import
ancetomc.""
"Listen, Miss Gertrude, and you shall
hear. I havejiot language to describe
the discustinir sights that we witnessed
We visited four of those gambling -dens
" in each of which were a number of rougd
haggard-looking men encaged in
drunken revelry. 'A'hera was not
young man in either of the first two we
visited, which was a great satisfaction
to me; but as we entered tho third one
I beheld among tho group that sur
rounded tho card table three young men
. and one of them was "
"Harold," said Gertrude, sarcastically
" Yes, it was Harold."
' Nonsense,. Mr. Ruthwford." cried
Gertrude, in angry tones, "I-vould
not believe such a thing of Harold Ful
ton thoughan angel should, proclaim it
to me."
" Very well. You will learn some da
that it is really true. Would to God it
were false ; for then you wouid not be
come a drunkard's wife. I must now
hasten back to tho store, as I shall leave
town by tho one o'clock train." And
without waiting for a reply from un
grateful Gertrude he bowed very courte
ously to her and departed.
Edward Rutherford had been in the
employ of Moor & Co. for nearly two
years, during which time he had learned
to love Miss Gertrude Moor, daughter of
the senior member of the firm, very
dearly, and had resolved that when his
financial circumstances-would allow to
ask her to be his wife; but now all hones
were vain; for Gertrude was engaged to
Harold Fulton, a young man of reputed
wealth who had been in the town only a
few weeks. It was with a great effort that
ho succeeded in allaying his sorrow at the
untimely end ol Ins brightest liopes; but
lie was determined that Gertrude should
never know how dear she had been to
him. Fearine that she might detect a
trace of the feelings that agitated Ins
breast,
it, he had refrained from visiting
ineo ho had heard of her engage-
her sin
mcnt; but the incidents of the previous
night had induced him to seek lier pres
ence to convey to her the intelligence
that might save her from becoming the
wife of a man whom he now knew to be
unworthy of her. .
(iertrudo watched mm as no proceeded
to the store, bitterly regretting her un
kind words; for she had observed the
expression of sorrow on Ins lace and
knew lie leit Hurt. so mucn nad ner
feeling toward him changed that a tear
trickled down her face as she thought
how much happier she would bo were
she engaged to him, whose love she had
never doubted, than to Harold, whom
she now believed to be a drunkard and
probably only courted her for her
money. Had she known that weeks
must intervene ere she should behold
Kd ward's face again she would doubt
less have went bitterly; but she did not
understand Ins last remark to her, and
when, an hour afterward, he was on
the train miles away from her, she sup-
losed him to be in tho store attending to
lis duties.
After a vain attempt to console her
mind by reading, she went into the
library and wrote Edward a letter, bog
trine nardon for what sho had said.
When her father arose to return to the
store, after supper that evening, she gave
mm the letter. He read the address and
returned it to her, saying, " He is not
there."
"Whore i3 lie?" asked Gertrude, in
surprise, dreading to hear the answer.
"He lias gone to l'liiiadeipma on
business for tho firm, and, as he passes
near his father's, he intends to stop on
his return and spend two or three weeks
with his relatives. It is a busy time to
let him go, but ho has not been at home
for nearly a year nnd I could not well
deny his request. I am sorry you did
not use more courtesy toward the noblo
fellow when lie came to bid you good
bye. It would "
"v hen lie came to bid me good-Dyer"'
interrupted astonished Gertrude.
" Yes. and vou treated him so indiffer
ently that lie returned to the store very
much grieved.
" But, father, ho never bid me good
bye!"
1 only know that ho said lie would
run up and see you before leaving, and
that when be came back lie was very
much agitated." And Mr. Moor has
toned away, leaving Gertrude to her own
reflections. .
Before closing her eyes in sloop that
night she resolved to tree herself from
her engagement to Harold at their next
meeting, for she was sure that what Ed
ward had told her was true, and she
ould never become tho wife of a man
who was guiltv of such conduct. She
arose very early on the following morn
ing nnd wrote Fid ward a letter, telling
him how bitterly she regretted her cruel
words and asking his pardon. She also
told him of her intention to free herself
from her ontratrement to Harold, Hav
ins: sealed tho letter in a neat white en
velope on winch she had previously
written his address, she took it to the
postofliee. Dead stillness reigned over
the town, and sho had thought to
get back to her room without being ob
served; but as sho was returning she
met Harold t ulton, Ins haggard coun
tenance and unsteady gait betraying the
effects of debauchery. She passed by
him without seeming to know him and
burned liome. Mie did not relate ner
meeting with Harold to her parents, but
when at breakfast her father spoke of
engaging him as a clerk until Edward s
return, she protested against it. He
was, however, that day employed. He
called on Gertrude in the evening and
requested her not to tell her father of
their meeting that morning. She told
him that she would comply with his re
quest, and also that ho must consider
their engagement as ended, as she could
never marry mm
I his did notpleaso liini, ana he went
away very angry.
The Methodist tliurcn stood in a
beautiful grove on a small eminence
overlooking the town. Thither on the
following day, which was Sunda", Ger
trude, accompanied by her parents, went
to hear the Kev. Keuben Homes deliver
his sermon on intemperance. He illus
trated the folly of intemperance, showed
how strongly its guilt is denounced
traced its ellects on its victims, andt
wound up by showing the drunkard's
doom. In tracing its eltects on its vie
tims, he gave an account of his visit to
the saloons, describing vividly what he
saw there, oertrude was inspired with
new courage in her resolution never to
marrv a drunkard. At the close of
meetine Harold asked permission to ao
company her home, which she politely
refused. She observed his sullen brow
and revengeful look, but heeded them
not.
A week passed away and then there
came a letter from Edward, a letter of
passionate love and devotion, winding
up witu a proposal 01 marriage, tier
trude, exultant in her new love, immedi
fttoly answered, accepting his proposal,
and bt gging him to hasten to her.
Harold .soon heard of her engagement
and forthwith left town. On the day
alter in0 departure tjertrude received a
letter from him, in which ho told her
that as she had refused to be his wife, he
had sworn that she should never be
Edward's. He warned her at the peril
tf Edward's life to tell no one the con
tents of his letter. After consideration,
she determined to send it to Edward,
which sho did by tho next mail." She
thought it best, however, to say nothing
about it to her parents.
Three days after Harold's departure
the discovery was made that the firm of
Moor & Co. had been robbed of $340 in
banknotes, the thief having placed bogus
money in Jieu of what he had taken, to
avoid immediate detection. Suspicion
at once pointed to Harold, and detectives
were placed on Ins track.
Another week flew by and Edward's
return drew near. He had shortened
bis stav at homo In order to he with
Gertrude. Nothing had been heard of
Harold, though careful search had been
made for him. It was the universal
opinion that he had sought refuge in tho
Mr. Moor's for Edward's reception, nnd
nil went merry, as though nothing wrong
tar West. Preparations were made at
had occurred; for, indeed, Gertrude's
parents felt grateful that Harold had
only gotten $340 instead of their affec
tionate daughter, whose happiness would
have been wrecked had she become his
wife.
We have stated that it was the univer
sal opinion that Harold had gone West;
but there was at least one-exception.
Gertrude did not believe it. She could
not forget what he had written to her.
Sho was more than once about to tell her
fiarents, but tho warning ho had given
lor prevented her doing so. On the
night preceding the day on which Ed
ward was expected to arrive, she retired
to her room at an early hour. Her mind
was filled with apprehensions of evil.
She spent several hours in meditation,
occasionally breathing a silent prayer to
God that all might be well with Edward
and that she might see him on the mor
row. She never onco thought of her
own safety. Why should sheP Harold
had made no threats against her, and
besides she was apparently beyond his
reach. The clock had tolled the hour of
twelve. Gertrude felt drowsy, but feared
to close her eyes in slumber lest sho
should be awakened by some horrible
dream. At last, however, despite her
efforts, she fell asleep on the chair with
her head reclining on the stand, some
time afterward she awoke very much
frightened. How long she had slept she
did not know. The candle had gone
out and the room was enveloped in dark
ness. Mie endeavored to recall the cause
of her fright; but, failing to do so, she
nung berselt on the bed ana was soon
wrapped in slumber again. Hut once
more she awoke. The room was dimly
lighted by tho moon, which had just
risen. A rustling noise on the carpet at
tracted her attention, and, looking in the
direction of the window whence the
noise came, she saw a man stealthily ad
vancing toward her. bhe sprang to Her
leot and attempted to scream; but a
strong arm was placed around her waist
and a hand over lier mouth, and a voice
which she knew whispered in her ear,
Attempt to escape or make a noise,
pretty bird, if you dare." Lifting her in
his arms, lie glided out of the window
nnd hurried through tho lot back of the
house to the alley, where a carnage
awaited him. into which he conveyed
the terrified girl and gave orders to the
driver to make all possible speed, as day
light was last approaching. Jjortrurte
wept very bitterly. She was now in the
hands of Harold Fulton. What fate
a waited her she could not tell; but she
prayed that (od might give her strength
to endure whatever should come.
An hour had elapsed, and the carriage
was rolling rapidly along t he road, when
Gertrude, whose weeping had somewhat
subsided, discovered that Harold was
asleep. No words had been spoken since
starting except by tho driver, who
swore occasionally at the horses, but
for sometime he, too, had been silent
(iertrudo at onco conceived the idea of
making her escape. She listened a few
minutes at Harold's heavy breathing.
and being satisfied that he was asleep.
she arose softly and looked out of the
rear end of tho carriage. She could
easily and silently let herself to the
ground, she thought. She stood motion
less, uncertain what to do. The driver
cracked his whip ovor the horses, and
the carriage went rolling along at in
creased speed. Her heart, beat heavily
and seemed to rise in her throat, for she
feared she would be detected. She gave
one stop toward tne seat; but no, she
would risk detection rather than submit
quietly to the doom that awaited her if
she remained in Harold's power. She
glanced at the driver to see that he was
not observing her, and with a prayer on
her lips that her undertaking might be
successful, she slid noiselessly to the
ground, iso one Had seen ner. and soon
the noise of the receding carnage died
in tne distance, inrowing lierselt on
her knees, the young girl, who had boon
brought up by religious parents, thanked
the God whom she had lsaraed to trust
from childhood for the success of her
undertaking thus far, and implored Him
to enable ner to return sate homo again
Rising from her knees, she began at once
her journey ; for well she knew that
sooner or later her escape would be
discovered, and an attempt made to re-
capture ner,
On, on she went, getting nearer and
nearer home. Day dawned, the sun
rose in all its majestic splendor and cast
its retulgent rays over the earth.
Eventually our heroine drew near the
town. Soon she expected to be safe at
home. Rut now the hopes that all along
Had nued lier breast gave way to despair :
tor, looking back, she observed a horse.
man approaching her at full speed. She
thought it must be Harold. Determined
on a last ellort, she began to run ; but
she was sure this could not bust lonir
He was fast gaining on her, nnd she wsis
expecting soon to be seized in his ruth
less grasp, when a half dozen horsemen
came galloping around a curve in the
road, and she fell fainting to the ground
as tney dasned lunously past her. A
nveiy race ciisueu, which resulted in
Harold's capture. But there was one
who did not engage in the pursuit. It
was Fdward Kutuertord. who had ar
f ived in town by the six o'clock train.
and, learning soon after of Gertrude's
abduction, had engaged at once in the
search, lie alighted and endeavored to
revive her, but failing in tli!3 he took
her in his arms and 4'ode back to town,
where medical assistance was procured
and she was soon restored to conscious
ness.
A few weeks afterward Edward nnd
Gertrude were married in tho Methodist
church by the Rev. Reuben Homes.
Edward is now a partner in the linn of
.Moor (5 U).
as to iiaroin fuiton. lie was con
victed and sent to prison for live years
At the expiration ol his sentence he went
to the West, and was never again heard
of by those whom he had persecuted and
sought to wrong.
A Suggestion.
We have not spaeo in the Register for
an "tended tale; but we have evolved
ftn u? for one which idea we are too
unselfish to withhold from a waiting
public, because we cannot get all the
glory of it. If some skillful pen will but
nil in uiis oare outline wiin ricn mo
toric and vivid imagination, not only
will some " lnterestin' readin' " be pro
duced, but a great moral engine will be
sent into the world to accomplish great
good. We should, perhaps, entitle our
romance
A BRAND FROM THE BURNING;
Oil, THE DELINQUENT SUKSCIUIlEK S SAL
VATION."
We would introduce the first chapter
with a picture of the heretofore honest
and prosperous farmer's happy home.
The angel of peace dwelleth there, and
the country paper comes to his postollice
box every week.
Having been supporting tins county
paper for some four years without paying
for it, he is surprised one day to get a po
lite note frfn the publisher to casli up.
Indignant at being dunned, he resolves
to punish the base insulter of his dignity
by beating mm out ot tlie whole bill.
Ah, rash resolve! " This, this, the source
of all thy ills'."
As delay makes ni3 tatal purpose mani
fest, direful consequences follow; his
friends fall away and recognize him no
more ; the wife of his bosom deserts him
and files an application in a Chicago po
nce court lor divorce; ins daughter
elopes with a lightning-rod peddler and
Ins best horse and buggy; Ins son, losing
all self-resnect in his father's degrada
tion, goes to the city and enters politics ;
his cattle start on " a iourney to the cen
ter oftho earth," through a neighboring
quagmire; his hogs die of cholera; his
corn yields only tassels all mankind and
nature seem to conspire Ins ruin. Job
had his comforters, spiritual and human ;
but " what cliarm snail soothe tliemelan
cholv" of the wretch who bears upon
his soul the purpose of defrauding the
trustlul editor!
Chapter 2. At last, deserted by all
but his faithful dog (who has been kept
in ignorance ot the lacts ot the ease), our
delinquent resolves to end his bitter
existence by suicide. (We suggest to the
previously-mentioned skillful pen that
the scene nere should be very gloomy
dark cliffs, stormy sea, blood-red sun.
etc.) Just as he is about to drain the
fatal draught (or shoot the fatal shot, or
stab the fatal stab we also leave this to
the taste of the filler-in) the spirit of
mercy, willing to give the old man an
other chance, inspires within him the
thought "Suppose I pay the printer.
and all may yet be well!" Seizing the
idea with avidity, and the dog by the
collar, he hies him to the neighlioring
town. Realizing there thirteen dollars
from the sale of this faithful animal, he
repairs to the editorial sanctum, pays his
arrears and lor a year in advance, and
has enough lett to "set 'em un all
around." His atonement is complete.
and lie walks lortn once more " a man
among his fellow-men." (The editor's
astonishment and joy at being the pos
sessor of eleven dollars all at one time
should be artistically pictured.)
Cn aptek shows tile inevitablv happy
result of this Christian action. Fortune
smiles broadly upon him once more his
wife withdraws her divorce suit and re
turns to his arms; the eloping liaJitning-
rod peddler turns out a wealthy Russian
count in disguise, and restores to our
larmer tne lost broad acres; the son
abandons political life and becomes once
more a respectable citizen; ins kinewax
fat, and hjs wheat fields yield some sixty
and some a nunarea-ioiu. J. lie scene
closes with a bright picture of the
prompt-paying subscriber's happy fire
side
If the above sketch, graphically de-N
lineated and broadly published, does not
rouse many a delinquent conscience into
action, then is all moral suasion vain,
and the butt end ot the law our only re
course. rrtnters lieuwicr.
Cabbage-Tree JfeTs Story.
A writer in the Boston Commercial
Bulletin upon life in Australia relates
this yarn: Une ot the stories told me bv
the driver as we ioltedalonir had relation
to the depth of the mud which covered
the road, l have heard the same story
in various forms since, for Ned was in
the habit of telling it to every passenger
that lie carried to the diggings. 1 have
also heard the same story assigned to a
California driver. No matter; 1 know
it was told to me by Cabbage-Tree Ned
in isaa.
" You see, young fellow." said ho. " I
was driving along keeping well to tho
right of the road where the mud was
shallowest, lor I knew that 1 had a
heavy load which 'ud prevent the coach
from floating, and besides none 'o my
horses could swim. I had just got to
about where we are now when I noticed
what I thought was a hat moving nloti"
on the top ot the mud just a little ahead
o me on my leit.
" I could not make out what it was at
first, but at last I seed it was a hat and
I felt kind o' frightened. Not that I'd
tie ingutenea at a hat, but what 1 was
frightened at was that the hat was mov
ing aiong in tne same direction as niy-
seii without any visible means. Jingo
iinnks i, now nere s a go; what the
deuce can it be? By-and-bye I came up
abreast of it, and then got a little ahead
ot it. men I seed there was a lace un
der the hat jingo if it wasn't a man.
llano, ineiid, "says I, "what are you
tramping through the mud in that way
for? Come along hero, and I'll give you
a nit in tne coach. '
" YV hat would I get into your coach
for," he cried, "and leave my own
horse ?" "And sure enough he was rid
ing a horse, for I saw the ears of the
animal just ahead of him sticking out of
the mud, but the horse, being tired, was
swimming low; yes, tho' mud was very
deep that day,"
In the Trenches nt Cold Harbor.
A writer in the New York Sun, who
was a young primer in the Federal army,
gives this incident of life in the trenches
at Cold Harbor, Va., during the terrific
fighting early in, lune, 1804: By daylight
we had our earthwork finished, and were
safe. The heavy artillery, nrmed as in
fantry, were some sixty or seventy yards
in front of us. We being on the crest of
the hill, they were below us. Behind us
were a couple of Delaware regiments,
tho two havingabout MOmen combined.
Back of us was a ravine, an alder swamp,
and in the thickets bordering on the
swamp was a spring of clear, cold water.
The men in front ot us had to go to this
spring for water. They would draw lots
to see who should run across the danger
ous open grounds. This settled, the vic
tim would hang fifteen or twenty can
teens around him: then, crouching low
in tho rifle pits, ho would give a great
jump, and when lie struck the ground,
was running at the top of His speed lor
our earthwork. Of course every Confed
erate sharpshooter in range fired at him.
Some of tliese men were shot dead ; but
generally they ran into the earthwork
with a laugh. Alter .nilins their can
teens, they would sit and smoke and talk,
nervinjj themselves tor the deadly return.
Adjusting the canteens, they would go
out of tho works on a run, and run back
over the bullet-swept course. Some
times they would come to us in pairs.
One day two Albany men came leaping
into our battery. Alter hliing tneir can
teens, they sat and talked of the beauti
ful city on the Hudson, and finally
started together for their rifle pit. I
watched through an embrasure and saw
one fall. Instantly Le began to dig a
little hollow with his hands in the sandy
soil, and instantly the Confederate sharp
shooters went to work on him. The dust
flow upon one side of him, then on the
other. The wounded soldier kept scrap
ing his little trench in the sand. AY e
called to him. He answered that his
leg was "broken below the knee by a rifle
ball. From the rifle pit wo heard them
call to him to take offhis canteens, tie the
strings together and set them on one
side. He did so, and the thirsty men in
the pits drew lots to see who would risk
his life for the water. I got keenly in
terested in this dicing with death, and
watched intent. A soldier springs out of
the pit. Running obliquely, lie stoops as
he passes the canteens, grasps the strings,
turns, and in a flash is safe. Looking
out I see tho dust rise in little pulls
around the wounded man, and with
quickening breath feel that his minutes
are numbered. 1 note a conspicuous
man in the rifle pit, and recognize him
ns the comrade ot the stricken soldier
He calls to his disabled friend saying
that he is coming for him, and that he
must rise as becomes near, and cling to
him when he stops, The hero leaves the
pit on a run ; the wounded man rises up ;
the runner clasps him in his arms; the
arms of the wounded one twine about
his neck, and he is carried into our bat
tery at full speed. To the honor of the
Confederate sharpshooters be it said that
when they understood what was being
done they ceased shooting.
Natural Enemies of the Telegraph.
There is, apparently, no apparatus so
liable to be interfered with by what we
may call natural causes as the electric
telegraph. Fish gnaw and mollusks
overweight and break the submarine con
ductors of the subterranean wires; whili
there is at least one instance of a frolic
some wlinta entangling liimsell in a
deep sea cable, to its utter disorganiza
tion. It is stated that within the three
years ending 1878 there have been sixty
serious interruptions to telegraphic com
mnnication, in Sumatra, by elephants,
In one instance, these sagacious animals.
most likely fearing snares, destroyed a
considerable portion of the line, hiding
away the wires and insulators in a cane
brake. Monkeys ol all tribes and sizes.
t. in .that fored island, use the poles
and wires as gymnasia, occasionally
breaking them and carrying off the in
sulators; wlnlo the numerous tigers.
bears and bunaloes on the track render
tho watching and repair of the line
duty of great danger. In Australia,
where there are no wild animals to in
hire the wires, which are carried great
distances overland, they arc said to bo
frequently cut down by the scarcely less
wild aborigines, who manufacture from
them rings, armlets and other varieties
of barbaric ornament. It lias been sug
gested as a means of protection in this
case that tho posts should be construe
ted of iron, when the battery could bo
used to astonish any native climbing
them with felonious intent. SeieiUiJic
American.
An Accommodating Artist.
Tho following story is told of Thomas
Hicks, the artist. The scene was Tren
ton Falls, N. Y., a summer or two ago.
Mr. 1 licks, who had been on a trouting
expedition, was approaching tho inn
with a single large trout, which lie in
tended to sketch, when a gentleman who
had just arrived with a party of ladies,
noting his rough fisherman's costume,
took him for a servant of the house, and
called out: "Here, my man, do you
know all about the falls? '; "Yes, sir,"
replied the artist. "Come, now, show
us the way there." "Certainly." 1 lie
artist led the way to tho falls, and on tho
way was so entertaining that the tourist
insisted on his going over the whole
route with him. At the close of the
journey he handed the artist a dollar,
and asked bis name. "Tom," was the
reply. "Well, Tom, you are tho most
intelligent guide I ever met, and ought
to bo in belter business. If you over
come to New York call on me, and I
will try and help you." "Thank you,
sir," said the artist, who had keenly en
joyed the situation, and had accepted the
dollar rather than moitily the guest by
an explanation. Next day the guest
told the landlord that he wanted to se
cure " Tom's " services another day. As
the landlord replied that no " Toin' was
in ins service, tne truth soon came out,
but Mr. Hicks keeps the dollar as a sou
venir of his afternoon's work us a guide.
Farm Life.
Saw yo tho lnrmer at his plow,
As yo were riding by T
Or wearied 'neath the noonday toil,
When summer Buns were high ?
And thought you that his lot was hard,
And did you thank your God
That you and yours wero not condemned
Thus like a slave to plod T
Como see him at his harvest, home,
When garden, field nnd tree
Conspire with flowing store to fill
His barn and ginnery ;
His beautiful children gayly sport
Amid the new-mown hay,
Or proudly aid with vigorous arm
His bisks ns best they may.
The Harvest-Giver is his friend,
The Mukcr of tho soil,
And earth, the mother, gives them bread,
And cheers their patient toil;
Como join them around their winter
hearth,
Tho honrtlelt pleasure see
And you can bettor judge how blest
The farmer's lite may ho.
Mr. Signurney.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
A turtle recently brought to New York
was eight feet long and six feet broad.
North and South Carolina and Louis
iana produce annually 80,000,000 pounds
of i ice.
It is a peculiar feature of the butler
market that a bad article outranks a
good one.
A wife costs ten cows in Zululand.
What can be the matter with the cows!
Boston rosl.
This is the time ot tho year when
the sentimental youth names a row-boat
after ins girl, and hits it painted green.
Mr. Vanderbilt's income is ovor i?l,0T0
an hour which, says a Western editor,
is more than some of us make m a whole
clay.
If you are over-anxious to know why
the elephant wears a trunk, irritate him
sufficiently, and you will discover that
be carries bis cliolerinit. Jew Haven
Megistcr.
" There are too many women in the
world ; sixty thousand more women than
men in Massachusetts," growled the
husband. " That is the ' survival of tho
fittest,' my dear," replied the wife.
Ovor 50,000 tea plants have lately been
distributed in the Middle and Southern
States by the United States Bureau of
AllVUllUltt All ttUUUU 1UUL (J.tflh3
nl. r i 1 1 V-vrk 1.1 i.rvrk nnnttnli 4--t n11-v nr .
full picking of leaves.
" Well, how is the spring trade?" said
a gentleman to a friend the other day.
" Dry goods never brisker," w:is the re
ply. "My wife shops all day, every
chair in the house is covered with bun
dles, and I think of sending my pocket
book out of town for a change of air
it's so thin."
About this time of year city people
arc getting terribly anxious about the
welfare ot the country cousin. This
anxiety and solicitude will grow as the
season advances, nnd, when they can
bear it no longer, they will pack un four
children and two trunks and go nnd sec
about it. Middletown Transcript.
k. NICE RCKHAM.
Gaily the maiden,
In colors bright,
Walks with her lover
In the twilight,
Chattering so merrily
O'er hill und dale,
Till they encounter
" Ice cream lor sale"
Then tho young man wishes
that Soerules hud never dis
covered ice-creum, or that 1:j
hud borrowed a quarter he
fore he loll homo.
, JVew York Express.
IMllll LO Vf 111 UC 1IU11U LIT iVt lJ TT Ik
Stat 1st les for (J iris.
A young English statistician who was
paying court to a young lady, thought
to surprise lier with his immense erudi
tion. Producing his note-book, she
thought he was about to indite a love
sonnet, but was slightly taken aback by
the following question :
"How many meals do you eat a day?"
"Why, three, of course; but of all the
oddest questions."
" Never mind, dear, I'll tell you all
about it in a moment."
His pencil was rapidly at work. At
List, fondly clasping her slender waist :
"Now, my darling, I've got it, and if
you wish to know how much hits passed
through that adorable little mouth in
the last seventeen years, 1 can give you
the exact figures."
"Goodness! Gracious! What can you
mean? "
" Now, just listen," says he, " and you
will hear exactly what you have been
obliged to absorb to maintain those
charms which are to make the happiness
cf my life."
" But I don't want to hear,"
" Ah, you are surprised, no doubt, but
statistics are wonderful things."
"Just listen. You are now seventeen
years old, so inai in niiccn years you
have absorbed oxen or calves, 5; sheep
and lambs, 14; chickens, 3'-'7; ducks,
304; geese, 12; turkeys, 1(H); game of
various kinds, 821; hshes, lf0; eggs,
3,124; vegetables (bunches), 700; fruit
(baskets), 003; cheese, 102; bread, cake,
etc., (in sacks of Hour), 40; tea and collee
(cups), IH.tiOO; water (gallons), 3,000."
At this the maiden revolted, and
jumping up, exclaimed:
"I tiiniK you are very nuperwncui,
and disgusting besides, and 1 will not
stay to listen to you!" upon which sho
llew into the house.
lie gazed after her with an abstracted
air and left, saying to himself:
"If she kept talking at that rate
twelve hours out of twenty-four, her
jaws would in twenty years travel a dis
tance of 1,332,124 miles."
The maiden within two months mar
ried a well-to-do grocer, who was no
statistician.