Th lerrler falri. iTIioacrri ill nrobftUr the very last place to which a young man in search of a wife would think of going. Xot that Chicago in destitute of mar riageable girls, but it has gained bo much notoriety ae a city of refuge for men desiring t rid themaelrea f m-itoc that it ia associated in the u;r mind ith d vorce ratber inan L.-.i. v-ni,l,a anew tin,! nTS,r has iust been broueht out in Chicago with a view of meet ing a great and increasing want in the matrimonial market Her pecu liar qualities render her precisely the sort of wife for those numerous and intelligent men who are constantly insisting that woman should keep within her own sphere: and there is no doubt that an enormous quantity of girls of the same pattern cculd be disposed of to young men contemp lating marriage, were the fact that a specimen of the new kind of girl is now on exhibition in Chicago to be generallv known. Outwardly this novel young wo man resembles the ordinary girl of commerce. She has the features, the hair-pins, the skirts, and presum ably the limbs with which nature has end'owed her sex. With these how ever, are combined the mental and moral characteristics of the terrier dog. In fact, she is known in Chi cago as the "terrier girl." Her hab its are purely canine. She convers es exclusively in the terrier dialect, and ber accent is conceded to be per fect. In the day-time she curls her self op on the rug or on a conveni ent chair, and sleeps soundly, unless awakened by a strange footstep. At night she is particularly wide awake, and takes pains to apprise the en tit neighborhood of the fact. Xight after night she will go into the back vard and there sit on end and bark it the moon until even middle-aged deacons get out of bed and make mysterious allusions to ancient Gaul, and to the modern process of repair ing woolen stockings, while tbey bun'- for bootjacks and old slippers. So powerful and effective is the young woman's expression of her canine views in regard to the moon that a Chicago scientific person has calculated that the average monthly fall of miscellaneous missiles in his back yard is fully three inches. She is wonderfully quick in her move ments, and has been repeatedly known to overtake the fleetest and most experienced of the local cats. In regard to rats her habits are pre cisely those of the accomplished Skye terrier. If a rat-hole is point ed out to her, she will scratch at it with tremendous vigor, barking meanwhile, with the full force of her lungs, and apparently filled with as tonishment because the resident rats do not promptly come out to be kill ed. Of course, she has a passion for bones, and will stand on her hind that is to say will stand op and beg for bones with all the solemnity, and rather more than the grace of a well trained dog. To all these accom plishments she adds an affectionate, confiding, and gentle spirit Though she detests tramps, she will ' permit any person whom she considers re spectable to pat her on the head, and will fetch and tarry for him with tireless energy. When moderately well-fed and treated with kindness and firmness, she has no superior in gentleness and fidelity. There may possibly be faults in this girl which have hitherto escaped notice. She may, for example, have the indelicate canine habit of sitting with her mouth open and panting in hot weather, and she tut? perhaps bury her spare bones in the flower bed. Still, her merits are incontest able, and could not fail to render ber a model wife. She has youth and beauty; qualities which overy man desires his wife to have. She does not play the piano, and cares nothing for dress. She is capable of loving her master with unswerving affection, and the more he might snub her, or tox her ears, the more she would love him. The unwomanly idea of improving her mind, and of posses sing indejendent views, would nev er occur to her. She would always come when called, and would never express a desire to leave ber home or to mingle in any society. If her master would desire to bear her voice, he could always make her speak for a bone, or bark at a pass ing stranger; while, on the other band, she would never annoy him by silly feminine conversation, and in case she persisted in barking at the moon at inappropriate hours, she could be readily reduced to silence by being shut ap in the cellar. She would never be guilty of reproving ber master for coming home at late hours under the influence of salmon and oysters, and would never shock him by impertinently entertaining private religious views. She would totally forget the exigence of her own relations, and would even fly at her mother's ankles and rend her umbrella, were that misguided old lady to venture to enter her son-in-law's house. In short, she would be beautiful, affectionate, submissive, and absolutely devoid of any suspi cion that she had either intellect or soul, and that she had a right to re gard those imaginary articles as her personal property. This is the ideal wife for which thousands of men have vainly sighed. Such men believe that a wife has no right to have any opinions or convictions whatever, and that she should model herself as closely a; possible upon a good and affectionate dog. Chicago has at last produced a girl who cannot fail to make a perfect wife, and it would be the height of folly for any man to marry without first inspecting and testing this beneficent production. 'Men and brethren, the world does move" as the Tribune was for merly accustomed to 6ay. The days oi me wue wno makes a reeble pre tense of intellect and chatters about ber alleged soul are numbered. The terrier girls of the Chicago pattern will speedily drive all rivals out of the matrimonial market, and hus bands will become in fact as wen aa in name tne lords of crea tion. A. 3'. Timet. ' aVlana Clark. Now conscience is God'a alarm clock. God has wound it up so that it may warn us whenever we are tempted to do that which is wrong. It give the alarm. It seems to say, take care, God see- you. Stop! How important it is to have a con science that will always warn us of danger of sin I but if we desire such a conscience, we must be willing to listen t it If we stop when it says stop, if we do what it tells ns to do. then we shall always hear it But if we get into the habit ot not heed ing its warning, and not doing what it tells os to do, then, by and by, we shall cease to bear it Our " con science will sleep, its voice of warn ing will be bushed, and we shall then be like a ship at sea that hat bo compass to point out tne right way, ana nc rudder to keep it in the war. right J Aa Fpl4esf War. The following is an extract from a i ' private letter written by a Ilnssian 'officer: "Coming to a place where things to have scent on the handker i the road somewhat widened, about chief; others, again, appear to think two miles from Tenlis, we halted, they cannot use too much. A and after driving away and cutting French author, a man of evident down in a abort skirmish a party of taste and culture, declares that he Turks who were busy robbing our i distrusts the people who denounce aeaa, we aioppeu io loroi wiu ' , . . j . l r . ine on. As 1 rode alonir the front. I shouting orders to my men, an agon- f ized cry for help arrested my atten- tion. I looked around. Nothing but brans of dead everywhere. Of these 1 f i Done needed rne. iut tars: once more, and again, and again these pit eous cries. Hastily dismounting I threw the bridle over my Sound arm and ran toward some bushes from be hind which the sounds proceeded, and there, in a small pool of clotted blood, lay that which I at first failed to recognize as a human being, though human it certainly was in bis piteous cries, and the seemingly glared hands that clutched the air in their agony. The rest, from the waist upward, was one mass of raw, quivering flesh the face featureless, eyelids and eyes cut out, the man flayed alive, all but the hands, whose white skin at first gave the appearance of being gloved. This ghastly object lay a few steps from a dead horse, one of our own regiment's golden bays, Faint at heart I bent over the suffer er, evidently one of our own men but now mangled beyond recognition. He prayed for death with his poor, torn lips, and ia a minute more W., our surgeon.and two more of my offic ers were by my side. I made room for Y., who stooped for a few seconds over our comrai?, and then rising sadlr shook his head, murmuring 'No help.' A sudden impulse prompted me to seize the poor helpless band in my own, and pressing it whisper a few words of comfort. At the sound of my voice came the sudden appeal : 'Nicholia, for old friendship's sake send a bullet through my heart.' This voice sounded sc strangely fam iliar, and yet I could not recognize it. 'Who are you V 'Alexis S.' Alexis, my old schoolmate, who had a few hours ago shared by breakfast by our bivouac fire, and then rode away, handsome and bold, at the head or our gallant first squadron. He had fallen wounded, helpless, his horse bbot under him, and the fiend ish Turks were slowly torturing him to death when our approach drove them away. Clasping my hand in bis, he still begged for death. My revolver was empty, discharged in a ecuflle, a few minutes before. I look ed at W., who silenily drew out bis, and shuddering in every nerve, placed the muzzle against S.'s breast, and, with averted face, fired twice in suc cession, while I still pressed the poor hand in mine. We wrapped bim up in my cloak, and placing him in a shallow ditch, rolled a boulder over him, and then, with our hands still moist with his blood we swore never to empty the last chamber of our pis tols, but always to reserve a shot for ourselves and friends, should any of as, wounded, have to be left behind. May a quick death, a soldier's death, be ours. v . l 411 Arcfcery. Indian archery is somewhat differ ent from that practiced by the young ladies and gentlemen of more civil ized society. These Utter take the arrow between their fingers, place it against the bowstring, and make it assist in bending the bow. An In dian does not do this. He takes his arrow between the index finger, and palls the bowstring with his middle finger; nor does he raise his arrow as our boys and girls do ; be shoots straight out from the shoulder, and appears to take no aim whatever. He hits the mark, though, too often, as the soldiers about the garrison can tell, who have flung their hats or caps into the air, at some Indian's suggestion, only to have them pierced by the unerring arrow. The growing papooses, that is as soon as these are able to toddle, are furnished with bows and arrows, of which the points have been sharpened, and may be seen about the reservations shooting at marks, at small birds, or anything else that may happen to attract their attention. They generally become expert at the age of about ten cr twelve, but are not allowed to gradu ate into buck-age, and all the pleas ares of the chase, autil they are six teen or eighteen. Then is the time the real pleasure of the Indian is found to culminate in his first hunt after buffalo. TbeKable Mother's Warning-. "Epbrabem, come to your m udder, boy. Whar you bin ?" "Playin' wid de white folks' chil lun." "You is, eh ? See hyar, chile, you'll broke your old madder's heart, an' bring her grey hairs in sorrow to the grave with your recklumness an' carryins on wid evil assosyashuns. Uabn't I raised you up in de way you should oughter go ?" "Yffthum." "Habn't I bia kine an' tender wid yon, treated you like my own chile, which you is ?" "Yethum." "Hadn't I reezened wid you and prayed wid, n' deplored de good Lord to wrap vou up in bis buzzum?" "Yethum." " "An' isn't I yor naterl detector an' gardeen fo' de law 7" "Yethum." "Well, den, do you s'pose I'se gwine to hab yer morals ruptured by de white trash ? No, sab ! Get in de house this instep; and if I eber cotch you 'municatin' wid de white trash any mo', fo' de Lord, nigger, I'll break your brack head wid a brick !" A Geneva watchmaker has just completed a full-sized hunter,' which is said to be the most complex and wonderful piece of mechanism of the kind ever produced in that city. On one side is a dial with the ordinary marking hour, minute, and second hands together with a large inde pendent chronographic hand in the centre, making the one-fifth of a sec ond and flying back toXH; and to this dial corresponds a repeating mechan icism, striking hours, quarters, and minutes. If the watch is turned over, a second dial is perceived, having, besides the ordinary marking, a per petual calendar months, days of the week, date and nl rsta nf thai mrtrtn and also a little regulator for the tim-j ing. This watch can keep two differ ent times, for instance, Paris on one side and London on the other, while there is only one knob on the stem for setting both dials to time without the addition of a pusher on the rim of the case. The mechanicism for Betting the hands to time actuates only the finger of the dial that is up permost at the moment It is said that Abraham was the first auctioneer when he nut Isaac nn for a sacrifice; hut the first bidders probably came from the land of Nod. Perfnnse. Many persons have a fixed belief that it is the most vulgar of vulgar iilcuw i juuim-a. iu uituoi . i. - r I 'I V, -.,,.... to a bad odor is a good odor, he says, and those who have do predi lection for agreeable odors will not 'at all object to had odors. A child, ! a student, an austere and crave eei- . entitle dignitary, an old man may be excused if they use no perfume; but a woman, young and beautiful, im aginative, gay and happy, cannot forego the luxury, the elegance, the poetry of perfume. Fashion has va ried greatly in this matter. In Paul de klock's day peppermint was the rage, sweetmeats were flavored with it. and aromatic dilutions were made of it. Ladies carried it in their scent bottles and in their bonbon boxes, in one form or the other. Then came the turn of what is called aromatic vinegar, speedily followed by lavender water, eau de Cologne, rose water, and patcbouly. And since the extreme popularity of patcb ouly, the fashion of using perfumes has somewhat subsided. In these days few ladies positively drop scent upon their handkerchief; tbey pre fer to keep their wardrobes well stocked with lavender, or orris root, or sandal wood, so that their clothes emit a pleasant fragrance rather than a distinct odor. A young American lady I anew in Paris had the cup boards and drawers in which her clothes were disposed, strewn with satchets of 6trong smelling violet powder, that gave a nameless, deli cate, fresh perfume to everything she wore, from her hat and veil to her handkerchief. For this mode of using perfume, nothing can be much better than lavender, which is ex quisitely fresh and wholesome, and has a sw eet natural scent that art can never outdo. A young English man, whose bachelor home in Paris, I saw only a wct-k or two ago, has sturdy bunches of lavender hung to each of the pegs for bis coats in his dressing room. And yet people de claim about the extravagant coquet ry of women, as if the hanging up of those masculine coats over fragrant lavender, did not equal any cf our harmless little devices. I any in pathetic ftoale. They stood up before the window, looking out upon the wintry day. The cheerful fire on the hearth sent its ruddy glow into the room. They were man and wife. She said with enthusiasm ; "Is i: not a grand sight?" "What?" answered he. "Why, this glorious tine of tne year." "Pshaw! I thought you referred to that old gentleman who fell on the sidewalk just now. Let's get near the fire ; I'm chilly." "Pear," said she. "Well?" abruptly poking the glowing returned he, embers vigor- ously. "i)on't you think that winter is monarch of the treasons ?" "I" "Let the poets rave about spring, with her violet-sandaled feet all wet with dew. About summer in ber wheaten garlands bound. Or au tumn stained with juice of purple grape. Do they half compare with ice-crowned winter?" But what is your opinion of this beautiful day'' "I think" "This day, when nature, draped in snowy mantle, presents a perfect por traiture of chastity. See how the sun sports among the drifts, causiug them to scintillate like diamonds. Is not this the chosen period of the year ?" "I think that" "Ob, it is superb ! No wonder Shakespere has said, 'He thou as pure aj snow.' Look hew the play ful wind circles the downy fleece ! Come, dear, to the window." He came reluctantly. She said rapturously: "Now, what do you think of this dav?" "I think that it would be a sp! spien- AA Aarr in trotlr raliliito'' Both were mute for an hour and a half. Soy. Some men move through life as a band of music moves down the street, flinging out pleasure on every side through the air to every one, far and near, that can listen. Some men fill the air with their presence and sweetness, as orchards in October days fill the air with perfume of ripe fruit. Some women cling to their own bouses, like the honeysuckle over the door, yet, like it, sweeten all the region with the subtle fragrance of tneir goodness. There are trees of righteousness, which are dropping precious fruit around them. There are lives that shine like star beams, or charm the heart like songs sung upon a boly day. How great a bounty and a bless ing it is to hold the royal gifts of the soul, so that tbey snail be music to some and fragrance to others, and life to all ! It would be no unworthy thing to live for, to make the power wbicb we Lave witbin as to breathe of other men's joy; to scatter sun shine where only clouds and shad ows reign; to fill the atmosphere where earth s weary toilers must stand, with a brightness which tbey cannot create for themselves, and which tbey long for, enjoy and ap preciate. lie Had ! 4'arc far hla Health A farmer was yesterday, walking around the market, trying to find some chap willing to go to the coun try and do a little work for good pay, wben a colored man accosted him, asking: "Boss, does you want some one to husk corn ?" "Yes, I've been looking all the morning for some one." "What's de pay ?" "I'll give yon $1 a day." "And board?" "Yes." "An' chickens an' puddin' for din ner r" "Y Yes." "An' Havana cigvs to smoke ?" "I I guess so," stammered the farmer. "An' a cole stove right close around rlar' char rl rnrn ia" "No, I never heard of a stove in a cornfield." "Well, if dar's no stove out dar, you can't coax dis child along! "I'se got to take care of my health, eren if there isnt a bushel of corn raised in dis country V'PiUghurgh Tele, graph. As a frightened darkey, chased by an infuriated bull, neared the bound aries of the field, he enthusiastically exclaimed, "Millions for de fence, but not one cent for de brute." Iwpkrk. Joseph Cook carries a railroad Shakespeare, and prepares his quota tions for his unique lecture on snaae- speare and Conscience on tee cars He picks up everywhere ; gathers ev ery where; it seems as though hs for gets nothing. Bat in private he be wails his treacherous memory. 1 npvpr knew a student vet who did not seem to grow indignant with himself over the undue proportion of all that he ever learned that he hab itually forgot Mr. Cook ia no ex ception to the rule. Yet he marvel- ously preserves and utilizes the results of his readings. ilia metnoas are peculiar. I violate no confidence, and I may give aid to students, lay and clerical, if I report here these methods, as he told them to me. This preserving machinery consists of three pieces: (1) He always car ries with him a cheap memorandum book. In this he jots down, wherev er he happens to be, a tnougnt, a sentence, a igure that strikes him. The book fills up quickly. Then a new one takes it place. These books are dated and filed away. He trusts his memory to serve as an index to sutrzest to him the date of the read ing, the incident, or the thought there noted, (z) lie aiso carries who mm a package of commercial note paper. Any extract in a book not in his own library, any fact or figure worthy of more careful preservation, he notes on a half sheet of paper. These are sorted according to a few large titles. The homogeneous ones are pinned together. As the pile increases they are sewed. "I am to lecture to-night," said he to me, on Ultimate America. I put in my bag my package of ex cerpts on America a hundred or more and look over them this after noon as a last preparation before I go on the platform. The method gives him the full use of his resources in each subject in each lecture. (3) He has not the contempt of some would be scholars for the newspapers ; be reads and uses tbem. With a red crayon be marks whatever strikes him as suggestive ; throws the papers in the corner. Mrs. Cook, who is a sort of private secretary to him, as many another wife of many another busy literary man, cuts oat the mark ed across and lays tbem loose, in an indexed scrap book. When a large store has accumulated Mr. Cook goes over them, culls out those of promin ent value, and pastes or otherwise preserves them ; the rest are destroy ed. Permanent journals are useless. Tbey are a waste of time. When I was in college I bought an Index Rerum, but there are not twenty en tries in it. A note book for sugges tions, loose sheets of paper easily classified for extracts, a scrap book for newspaper cutting are my simple means for preserving the results of reading. Lyman Abbott. 1 Here la a Hell. So says Dean Stanley. So says Henry Ward Beechef. So says Bob Ingersoll, and so many others, but that does not make it so. Though the Dean, the Canon and Henry are tolerably well versed in the affairs of this world, we do not believe they are any better qualified to teach us the whys and wherefores of the great hereafter than any one else. One thing is certain, that if there is a hell a place of eternal puuishment--we all ought to know it, and if those who are posted in regard to the mat ter it there are any such do not give us the bottom facts they will fall far snort of their duty. The commotion stirred up of late in relation to future punishment is likely to bring to the surface a skep tical undercurrent that has long troubled the waters of religious be lief. It will also develop certain "peculiar views" long held and se cretly nursed by various pulpiteers. But what will it all amount to the Stanleys, the Farrars, the Beechers, the Icgeraolls and all the rest of tbem will be unable to change the fact that there is a helL Tbey will, though, by the agitation of the vexed questions, by the expression of opin ions and counteropinions, cause the heads of many dyspeptic theological students and susceptible school girls to turn themselves inside out and up side down. The discussion of this subject will in oar opinion do more harm than good. Supposing the word "hell" as written in the Bible, means the "bad place," or supposing it means the grave, what possible dif ference can it make with good Christ ians ? Their salvation is sure, wheth er or no. Then if it should be clearly demonstrated that no one knows whether there is a hell or not, how will mankind be benefited by the re sult ? Many people are very anxious to find out the full truth of the mat ter, and we presume they will, but as far as we are concerned we hopo we may never know anything more about hell than we now do. And to all those who are of the same opinion, we would say : follow the teachings of your Divine Master, and you will probably remain as ignorant of the place nnder consideration as we hope to, and stand a good chance to take a front seat over them. Brtltfonte Watchman. Tbe ItardRnrlles. The Dardanelles, toward which so much attention is now directed, fairly teems witn historic and poetic memo ries, its navigation was first at tempted bv the Argonauts, nnder Jason, in their search for the Golden Fleece. At Abydos.Xsrxes built his famous Bridge of Boats for the inva. sion of Greece, and it was here that the loves of Hero and Leander be came werld renowned. Leander. who lived at Abydos, on the Asiatic snore, was in love with Hero, the beautiful priestess of Venus, at Sea tos, and regularly swam tbe Strait to meet his mistress. One dark and stormy night be failed to appear, and when the luckless Hero visited tbe shore tbe waves had washed tbe dead body of her lover upon the sands. Overcome by her loss, she piungea into the sea, and tbe spot oecame ever alter sacred to their memory. On tbe 3d of March, 1810, Lord Byron swam tbe Dardanelles at tbe same point in seventy minutes He was accompanied by a Lieuten ant Akenbead, whose name has been handed down to posterity in tbe line : Which Leander, Mr. Akenhead, and I dU. Ine swim from Abydos to Sestos is still repeated yearly by Byron in spired tooriets, and will probably con tioue to be so as long as the glamonr oi poetry and tradition bangs round tne spot sun. Teacher (to small boy in rrammar class) Let me bear you compare ride." Small boy Ride, rode, ridden. Teacher (to other small bovl unae, to move swiftly. utner small boy Glide, rlode. glidden. Then the teacher glode rieht out to him and reached for his ear ; but the youth had glidden from his place and left tbe door open as be went ont. Praia Taar Wife. Praise your wife, man ; for pity's sake, give her a little encouragement; it won't hurt her. one made your home comfortable; your heart bright and shining; food agreeable for pity's sake tell her you thank ber, if nothing more. She don't expect it; it will make her eyes cpen wider than tbey have this ten years, but it will do ber good, and you too. There are many women to-day thirstinir for words of praise, the language of encouragement Through Bummer's beat, through winter's toil, they have drudged uncomplainingly, and so accustomed have their fath ers, brothers and husbands become to their monotonous labors that they look for and opoo them as tbey do tbe daily rising of tbe sun, and its daily goiog down. Home every day may be made beautiful by an appre ciation of its holiness. You know if the floor is clean, manful labor has been performed to make it em. You know if yoa can take from your drawer a clean shirt whenever you want it, that somebody's fingers have ached in the toil of making it fresh and agreeable, so smooth and lus trous. Everything tnat pleases tbe eye and tbe Sense has been produced by constant work, much thought, great care, and untiring efforts, bodily and mentally. It is not that many men do not appreciate these tbiugs, and feel glow of gratitude for numberless at tentions bestowed upon tbem in sick ness and in health, but thev don't come with a hearty "Why, how pleasant you make things look wife !" or, "I am obliged to vou for taking so much pains." Tbey thank their tailor for their "fits!" thev tbank a man in a full omnibus who gives them a scat ; tbey thank a young lady who moves along in a concert room in short, tnev thank everybody ont of doors, be cause it is a custom ; and come home, tip their chairs back and their heels np, and pull out tbe newspaper ; grumble if their wife asks them to take tbe baby, scold if the fire has gone down, or, if everything is just right, sbut their moutbs with a snap of satisfaction, but never say, "I tbank you." I tell you what men, young and old, if yoa do not show ordinary ci vility to those common articles of housekeeping, your wives, if yon would give tbem the hundred and sixteeuth part of the compliments vou almost choked them with before yon were married, fewer women would seek for otber sources cf affec tion. Praise your wife, then, for ail the good qualities she has, and vou may rest assured that her deficiencies are counterbalanced by your own Married Experience. I marriei' my wife about thirty-five years ago. The ceremony was per- lormed about 7 o'clock in tbe morn ing. Before retiring that evening we bad a talk with each other, and the result has sweetened our entire lives. We agreed with each other that each should be watchful, careful, never, by act or word to hurt the feelings of the otber. We were both young, both hot tempered, both posi tive in our likes and dislikes, and both somewhat exacting and inflexible just the material for a life of conju gal warfare. Well, for a few years we found it bard work to always live by our agreement Occasionally not often a word or a look would slip off tbe tooguo or face before it could be caught or suppressed, but we never allowed tbe sun to go down upon our wratb. Before retiring at night on such occasions, there was always confession and forgiveness, and tbe culprit would become more careful in tbe future. Our tempers and dispositions became gradually more and more congenial ; so that af ter a few years we became one in reality, as tbe marital ceremony had pronounced us nominally. In think ing back, we find that for twenty years our little agreement has been unbroken, and there has been no oc casion for confession or forgiveness. In business we have had our adver sity and prosperity and success. We bave raised a family of children, and now have our grand children, about us ; we are simple enough to believe that we bave better children and grandchildren because of our little agreement Under such a contract, religiously kept, no ill-natured chil dren will be reared, no boys will find the streets and barrooms mere pleas ant tban borne. To make a wife or husband required tbe co-opera'.ion of both. A Matrimonial liplouiatWt. During the last hours of the last day cf the old rear a man quietlv en tered the office of the clerk of the court Mr. Gerdstern was fixtog mat ters preparatory to turning over the office on the morrow to bis successor. Tbe deputy clerk, Mr. Wakefield, sat at his customary table writing. The evening had alreaJj- et ia and the gas was lighted. "Is this the clerk's office ?" "Yes, sir." "Do you make out marriage licen ces here?" "Ob, yes, sir." was tbe response from the deputy, who was always pleased to see other fellows get married, and who was particularly glad to have this agreeable duty numbered among his last official acts. "Well, I guess I want one." "AH right, sir," and after the usual interrogatories the deputy began making out the document, which was soon finished, and as tbe official fold ed it up he said in a joking way, "lou have waited pretty late to get married this year." "Yes, I have, but I'll tell you my inend, l was resolved to Dave one year of my married life close happy." Tbe stranger said good night and departed. It was evident that be bad figured the chances down as fiae as possible. 1'inona llepublican. CaaanarallTe lie f t'aantrlta Water. Greece is about the 8;ze of Ver- mont Palestine is about one-fjurtb the size of New York. Hindostan is more than a hundred times as large ar Palestine. The Great Desert of Africa has nearly tbe present dimension of tbe United States. Tbe Red Sea would reach from Washington to Colorado, and it is three times as wide as Lake Ontar io. The English Channel is nearly as large as Lake Superior. I be Mediterranean, if placed across North America, would make sea nav igation from San Diego to Baltimore. Tbe Caspian Sea would stretch from New York to St Augustine. and is as wide as from New York to Rochester. Great Britain is about one twenty- fifth tbe size of tbe United States. The Gulf of Mexico is about ten times the size of Lake Superior. The Great New Medicine e r3 A Health-Giving: Power PURIFIES THK BLOOD, INVICORATES THE LIVE, PROMOTES DICESTION, and STRENGTHENS THE NERVES, Thns effectually carlasdlseasaaf what ever Mint or nature. It is warthr t a trial. HEUKF gaaramteed. tm AGREEABLE ta the taste, GRATE" FX'l ta t he tomaeh.aad acta eAteteatly a a CATHARTIC, ALTERATIVE a ad DII llETIt, It actios U aot attended with aay anpleaiant frellnjr.aelther la lana;omr axor debility experienced, lmt obi the contrary, refreshment and ln vla: oration, Ite t named late effect opon the digest We ore;aas,whether Impaired by disease or exhausted from any canse, la to Increase their powers of assimilation and natrt tion, the appetite being increased at once. To those affected with an cngor ged condition of the lirer. as Bllloae at4a,hararterlzeilbradHilirrniplfi ion. a coated tongue, a pasty, bad taste in the moa Ih, a caprlr ions appetite and sluggish ation of the bowels, with a sense of fullness In the head and of men tal dullness, VIUVRE.VE pioTes most valuable. Its effect upon the kidneys Is no leas happy, a turbid. Irritating urine ia cjuirkly cleared up by it. Inflammatory and C'hronle RHEtT MAT1SM will soon dlaappear by n per latent use of YIGOHEtK. for the cure of tikln Dlseaies and Eruptions of all kinds, VICOHEXK is most certain. HGORK.VK Is com paced of the act Its properties of IIEHHS, ROUTS, Gt Ma a jsjitt rk a, max nature alone ran nlahea. , great care being taken by that they are gathered at the right season of the rear, and that they possess I II fir naiivf v I it lift. That VIKOHENE has the power to PI RIFT THE 1JI.MI). INVIGORATE the I.IVEB, and KTI.Mt L.ATE the 1)1. FESTIVE t)IttA, Is Indisputably proven by lhoe who hare given it m trial and have been permanently cored. We do not ask yotrio try a doxen hot ties to experlenie relief, for we GrAR. ASTEE yoa will feel belter from the first few doses. VIQORE.V E Is astoninhlng the world with its cures, and Is throwing all other TOMC'S, ALTERATIVE and IMIU (HANTS. Into the shade. Pot up In large boltles,doub!eslrength. Requires small does. and is pleasant to take. Price, 91.00 per Bottle. WALKER &. BADGER MFG. CO., Prop's, 3 .shn Zt., Kev T:rk, asl ttuj City, . J. I HE OBJECT OF EATlJiO." a new book every .ue ahon'd reed, net too cr.oa receipt ot s one cent stair n. FOlt SALE BY O.W.SrEERS, Pit I'd GIST, Somerset, l'u. February t After rears of patient labor and experiment tbe ST. JOHN Sewing1 Machine, la now offered to the public, as the triumph of in Tenure genius in una urancn innnuiaciure. Its points of exrellence are apparent to any one examtuinarthe marhine ami toreadiir reeiirnized thai already thef'HT. JOIIi"ha foroed iuellto the front rank of Sewlnir Machines. It tulnlls all the neceiwary requirements fur a Urst-cUas Sewing Machine, which are 1st. Ability u douerlectii alltin.lsol worx de manded of a Sewing Machine. .21. Ease ol man agement. 3d. Lightness of running. 4th. Kree duin Inira noine. iih. Simplicity ot onstruclion Oth. Huratillity. All these pints are secnreO mtirethan in any other, In the ST. JOHN SEWING MACHINE. .V . 2 Machine. Urni'JtHi al M lohlae an 1 Stand, Bl:k Walnut Ti'.l, tj Dnwars, Patent Bx Corcr, which attaches to ti le of the Table, funning a e mvenient w.irk box or an extension top at will. PRICE No. I. No. 3 1-2 S45 00 S35 OO SAO OO SS9 OO 09 OO M.ikes the J .oik SliU-li. MSM in Osia. Perfect in Oislriictioa. Equally good cn tha lightost or hsavi est Goods. Its Points of Peculiarity, A3I0NG3T SAU7 OTHERS ARE It makes da ili Mereaee whether the Machine Is run bark ward r-urvrurel i the wirk will al. ways run Irum yua, aad inert la loss or change of stitch. It has a rinse shuttle la one piece, with nn thread hole through, the bobbin bvMlug from U lo luu yards ol ttirrsd. It winds the bobl'ln without runnlny the ma. chine; so that there Is ao neeeaity flir unthread, ing tbe machine, or removing lb work when tbe tioiiiiin nereis ui tie wound. Its tensions are simple, perlect, and can he ad justed both under and upjwr, without rsraovlug the work. 4-Kach Machine U furnished with the ordin ary attachments. Its Furniture is novel, peculiar and desirable Every Machin e is Wakraxted, It take well and gives complete aitisfaetlon. Twenty. bvc of these Machine! bave already been sold In this county. 1 also sell the well known Family Favorite or w eed Machines at about nail the old uriee. and also repair the various kinds of sewing machines promptly anil satisfactorily And all kinds of at- lacnuienis procured to order : Auuresa tj. r. w ALU r.K. Somerset. Pa. P. S Sample Machines te I seen at I). Flick's or at uaeeiwer k u I store. Jan. V3 SSIGXEESSALE. Mr virtue of an order Issued out of the Court of Common Pleas of Somerset bounty. Pa., the undersigned Assignee or W. C Hicks, will sell at public sale on the premlnes, on Saturday, March 1C, 1818. at t o'clock p. m., the following described real estate, via: No.i. A certain lot of ground situate a afore, anid, located on northeast corner ol Bnsulway and Grant streets. ki', fret front, and extending lv) feet hack to Water street, known on town plot as lot No lJuwlth a good ttro-stnry frame dwelling bouse and other buildings thereon erected. One-third In band on confirmation of sale, one third In tlx months, and nne-thlnl la one year from this date (Oct. 2, .177 ) with Interest on deterred payments from day of sale. Ten per rent, of tbe purchase money to be paid oa day of sale. JUHftM.OU.VQER, Feb. 2 A fugues. 0PIDM3S2 pQMUIT. srnsj stlsWPy 111. V'U.VI BOOKS': newest and most popular aunirs, it Li writing: ol Inatrmttioa and amusement: also a list ol all the oattles whea anil where fought, dortnr the war, fur 3c stamp. Address, DaasBQad dk Csa., Via Rare St.. Phil. Feb a) .':VI I nx&x, vfi.s ,iaj m JOHN F. BLYMYER DEALER IN Hardware, Iron, Nails, Glass, Paints OILS, &C, 5cO. The following is a partial list of goods in Stock : C rpenter's Tools, rianes, Saws, Hatchets, Hammers, Chisels, Tlane Iron?. Jzes, Ac, lilack smith'8 Goods, Bellows, Anvils, Vices, Files, Hammers, &c. Sad llery Hardware, Tab Trees, Gig Saddles, Hames, Buckles, Kinjrs, Bits and Tools. Table Knives and Forks, rocket Knives, Scissors, Spoons and Razors, the largest stock in Somerset County. Painter's Goods, a full stoek. White Lead, Colored Paints for inside and outside painting, Taints in oil. all colors, Tarnish, Turpentine, Flaxseed Oil, Brushes, Japan Dryer, Walnut Stains. Ac. Window Glass of all sizes and glass cut to any shape. The best C oal Oil alwayson hand. Our stock of Coal Oil Lamps is large and comprise, very elegant styles. Ditston's Circular, Mu!y and Cross Cut Saws. Mill Saw Files of thebest quailty. Porcelain-lined Kettles. Handles of all kindss SIIOVJEIS, FORKS, HlA3E.S. KAKl-LS. Mattocks, Grub Hoes, Picks, Scythes, Sneatbs, Sledges, Mason Hammers, Cast Steel, Step Ladders, Carriage and Tire Bolts of all sizes. Loooking Glasses, Wash Boards, Clothes Wringers, Meal Sieves, Poor Mats, Baskets, Tubs, Wooden Buckets, Twine, Rope all sizes, Hay Pulleys, Butter Prints, Mop Sticks, Traps, Steelyards, Meat Cutters and Stuffers, Traces, Cow Chains, Halter Chains, Shoe, Dust and Scrub Brushes, Horse Brushes, Cur ry Combs and Cards, Door Locks, Hinges, Screws, Latches and everything in the Builders' line. Caps, Lead, Shot, Powder and Safety Fuse, Sic, &c, The fact is, I keep everything that belongs to the Hardware trade. I deal exclusively in this kind of goods and give my whole atttention to it. Per sons who are building, or any one in need of anything in my line, will find it to their advantage to give me a call. I will always give a reasonable credit to responsible persons. I thank my old customers for their pacronage, and hope this season to make many new ones. Don't forget the place NV, 3, "BAER'S BLOCK." April 8 '74. JOHN F. BLYMYER. TENNANT, PORTEK, BOYTS & CO. Successor to ouffer, Porter JC Co. FOTJHDRY , . Machine Forge Works, Water Street, OppnuKe II. A O. R. It. Depot, CoiisielNTille, I'm Manufacturers of Railroad and Machine Castings, 11. 11. Frogs, Switch Stands and Bridles, Trucks, Pit Wagons, lor ries, Iron Wheel Barrows, Stone Picks, Hammers and Chisels, Bridge Trusses and Bolts, Plows, Plow Castings, Cook, Parlor & Heating Stoves, Gratss& Firs Fronts, Tenders, Hollow Ware. Miscellaneous Castings Alade to Order. Machinery of all kinds built and repaired, at Short Notice and Reasonable Terms. Also on hand all kinds of Material used about Steam Engines. Oaa, Steam ami Water Pipe Fittlnirs, brass Valves, Brass Wire, Oiira Hose, (lam and Fitiruus Packing, Leather and KuMmt hrttinir. Couiilinirs. Spiral Car Springs, Uirets, April 11. BOXjTS ETC:- WILSON SEWING MACHINE in workmanship is equal to a Chronometer Watch, and as elegantly finished as a first-class Piano, it received the highest- awards at the Vienna and Cen tennial Expositions. IT SEWS ONE-FOURTH FASTER than other machines. It3 canacity is unlimited. There are more WILSON MACHINES sold in the United States than the combined sales of all the others. The WILSON MENDING ATTACHMENT, for doing Sll kinds of repairing, WITHOUT PATCHING!, given FREE with each machine. w".S WILSON SEWING MACHINE CO. 827 & 829 Broadway, New York; New Orleans. La.; Cor. State & Madison Sts., Chicago, Ills.; and San Francisco, Cal. FOR SALE BY ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS. New Firm. SHOE STOEE, SOLOMON UHL, HaTlng purcliaMMl the Mum Store lately owned hj II. C. Beerlla, We take pleasure In aniline; the attention of public to the laei that we hare now and expec keep constantly oa hand as complete an meat ol Boots, Shoes and Gaiters BOTII OF Eastern and Home Manufacturt as ean be found an jwhere. We also will bare ot hand constantly a lull supply of SOLE LEATHER, MOROCCO CALF SKINS, Kli'S. AND LINING SKINS Of all kinds, with a full line ef Shoe Findings. The HOME MANUFACTURE DEPART. H EN T wll I be In charge of N. B. Snyder, Esq. Whose reputatioa for making Good Work and Good Fits b second to none In the State. The public ts re spectlully Invited to call anil examine our stock, as we are determined to keep a;cii as guod as tbe best and sell at prices as low aa tbe lowest. CrT Hirr-KT Hill SOLOMON UHL. , PMIXISTll TOR'S NOTICE. Lslate of K.pbrulul Luhr, late of Shade Twp., ucoeaaeu, Letters of administration on the above estate havlnu'leTrnied by theproierauinorlty. notice la hereby irlven to those Indebted to it torn keltn me diate iwynient, anil those havinaTclalms against It to present mem uuiy aumenueaieu lor settlement Monday. March ia, 1STH, at the late residence of deceased In said township. jiracrHtt. ia in k. Feb. 1.1 Adniluialraior. HEALTH AND HAPPIES Health and Happiness are priceless Wealth to their possessors, and yet they are within tbe reach of every one w bo w ill use H'RIGirrS LIVER PILLS. The onlv rare CI' RE for Torpid Liver, Dyspepsia, Headache, Sour Stomach, Conlliatlo-i, lleblllty. Nausea, and all Bilious complaints ami Blood disorder. None wenuine unless sitrned "Wm. Wria-ht, Phila." If your drutvist will wot sup ply (end ii cents ior one box to Barrica, IKoller fc UtL 70 N. 4th SU Phila. Feb. t CM C rREWrni WATCH 15B OH!- x.sstcm-windcr.Free wuhever. nrtler mt VWji tree. j. g. Uajiord Go ctiiuitfoVlJl. A VALUABLE INVENTION, THE WORLD RENOWNED GLEXX'S SULPHUR SOAP. Thoroit.hi.y Cures Disease of the Skit, Bk.u'tifiks the Complexion, Prkvf.nts and Kf.mf.diks Rheumatism and Ooit, ilt-Ais Sores and Abrasions of the Cuticle and Coi ntfracts Cuxt.mxo.n. This .Slan.laril External Remedy for Erup tions, S'ires and Injuries of the Skin, not only REMOVES FROM THE COM! LKX1DN ALL Bl.LM ISHES arising from local impurities of the blooil anil obstruction of the wires, bat also those produced by the sun And wind, such as tan and freck!.-s. It renders the CUTICLE MARVELOISLY CttAR, SMOOrH and PLIANT, and beinj a WH JLESOVfE EEAUTlFIKk is hi preferable to any cosmetic Ali. THE REMEDIAL ADVANTAGES OF SlTL- riH R Baths are insured by the x se of Glenn's Sulphur Soap, whi. ? irj ;Ui tion to its purifying elTects. rcmrt ud PRE VENTS Rhei'ma nsM and Got It aUo disinfech ei.oTuiSQ and linfn and PREYaWTS tilsEASlS COM M II N tv ATE t) BY Contact witi the person. It dissolves Dandruff, prevents biilJ ncss, and retards grayncss of the hair. I'hysicians speak of it in hih terms. Pn'ces-25 and 50 Cents v Cake; per Box (3 Cakes). Sdc. and SJ.20. N. B. -The jo emu cakes are triple tbe size of those at 85 CCt.1V "HILL'S HUE AM) WHISKER DFE," IJ.ark. ar Brawa, 30 I 'eata. 31, IWTOTOI, Froj'r, 7 Siitii u U KNOW Br reailina! ant pranlclne? the iiwstimablc truths con. taiutd in the be medical book rrcr I'surd. cotilli d TIIUAri wsELF-rKESERVATluN I I! f P Wl'ricconlyl. txntbfmail si I waailhsl nn receipt or price. It treats of Exhausted Vitalitr, Premature Decline, Krntons and Physical Debility, and the endless concomitant ilia and untold miseries that result 1 herefrom, and contains more than SOorit-innl pre acriptiona, any one nf which is worth the price ot thcDOok. This book was written by the motex trniTc and probably the mot skilful practitioner in America, to whom was awnrdedapold and jew elled medal by the National Method Association. A Pamphlet, illustrated with the Tory finest bterl Eiicrarinf-i; a mar- 1 1 F M I Tt 1 of art and beauty ll r A I sent rnrr to alL Bead I kfl sai fur it at once. Address 1-EABORY MEDICAL INSTITUTE, No. 4 Bui- THYSELF loch bt, Boston, Mas. DR. VAN DYKE'S SULPHUR 30AF, Makes the SKIJT Soft, Clear, Pore White and Healthy! Is t'leansinif , lteodoriilna;, bisiriect lna Soothing. Healing ami partlying- removes I lum I ni ft t kitllitv 1 ' k t: KoUKhnras and redness of the bkix : relieves itch iiiK. burning; aud stlnirina: or the Skin, and Irrita tion of bit inv and atinvlna; Inserts: will relieve ITOH 1NU PILES where nothiua- else will bave anycllHct; Is J'HKK VV.UA ALX. OFFtN Sl E ODOR, an J prevents Ontaarious Diseases. nu " P "lernei e.ttcal and Toilet Preira- ,?k:i Oeo W. Hen ford, Somerset. Pa., ami liruniilsts jrenerally. E. 8. WK1MTKR, Proprietor, of nee,.) N..th St., Phlbtd'a, p. Waulesule le pot. 41x1 N. Third St., PUH.. Pa. July 26. 'lirUsTERN PENN'A. CLASSICAL AND W SCIENTIFIC INSTITUTE. The Institute prepares Students lor College, Business, Preiessional Schools, Home Idle, and Teaching-. Location elevated, toeallbtnl, easy ol aeeeas, ami picturesque, eommaatiine; an extensive view of Chestnut Kl.lire. Full eorpt of Ins true tors. Five courses of Study. Open to both sexes Expenses moderate. New building lor ladlea! Opes arnie in eaoh mora. Address the Principal, JONATHAN JONES. A. M., . "f ML Pleasant, Pa SSIGXEE'S 'OTICK. Noilceis her given, that C. R Colborn of Som erset borough, by dew! ol voluntary aasia-nment has assigned all his real ami personal estate to the underpinned. In trust for the benefit of the creditors or said C. B. tVilhorn. All persons therefore indebted to the said C. B. Cdhorn will make payment to the said Assixnee, and thtwe navmx claims or demands will make knows the jna wunout delay. L. V. COLBORN, Feb. ' Aashfnee. kAOA Assents Wanted to subscribe for the tfWWW Kents' Journal, a bandsomelv bound, ?4 pare Journal, brim full of Interest to Agents. Specimen copy sent Iree. Feb. 13 Auksts' Jora.5 l, N, V. NEW STOR E. Hi In the Excelsior Mill Building, West End cf Main Street, sojiiaKsirr, im. We bare fur sale a a full and varied stock ir;en eral Merchandise, eonslsilna; of : Dry Goods, Groceries, Hardware, Queensware, Stoneware Hats and Caps, Boots and Shoes, Notions, and a Large and Full Stock , CLOTHING, SALT, FISH, WHITE LIME, PLASTER, FEED Flour, etc., etc. ALSO a full line of farm Implements, among wbiclf art' tbe CHAMPION MOWINO AND REAPINO MACHINES. ,k made and warranted durable, ol I.iariit Dntlt, al the vital parts lieina; made of VVrmiKht Iron an I Steel, no Pot Metal machines. The two Implements above namc'l ure our irr.-Ti Hobbies, and upon which we lKAtl ainl KANTKK. tme of oureuHumers told us that II he hadtohoy loo mowing maclilues, he would buy everyone CIIAMPIOX. The Oliver Chilled Plow of different noinbera, lor one, two cr three horses Warranted M Lrnam better, Kuu Ljaliter, Eii-ier onMitnand Horsti, si ick better to stony itrouml and turn a more regular and even Marrow tbananv Plow la ese. We also hare on hand ami Tor nletherolluwina Arst-chuis JIACJIIMJJIY, Which we will warrant to tie Well .Made and ,. ajood .Material, .to as rikki work aaany h It er Machines of Hie kind ami wlil a.k no man's m.uy until b9 has iriven tbe ma chine a thuruuif h tri al ami i.i a l ift ed with its work. THE EMPIRE Thre-er, Separator ani Cleaner, It and 1 burse puwrr. THE A. B. FARQUAHR.ehwethre.i.. er with staker attachment. "THE BEST." The Hjrstown GniD and Grass Seed Drill. THE HOOSIER force feeiKirainandc.-a-t Seed DruX "THE BEST," The H;iiterstown. Sprin Tooth Hay-rake. DODD'S CENTENNIAL sell Dump. Horse-rake. MELLINCER'S Horse Hav-rake?. HillMide Plow, Cast Iron Long IMovjv, Double Shovel CVu Plow. Scythes, Sickles (.'rain ('rati few. Forks, Shovel ami all kind of Plow Catlings. Shear, Points dr. ..oS-'TJT'.'1" '? the Agricultural Imple S "i,, line thtl ""rill keepln. which wewill rv U sell at such prices as will please oureu-touicri and aa low as they can be bad any where Ait Km,l nf Pr.l,ift Utkea in Es tn,me, ueh i rug, maple tuytr, but UrauUiag, All tint of grain, beef hide. hep and calf ttin. ami especially teool. ofwktch ve vant 2,XH) pound, fv trade or tah. Mar -a. A Desirable Kcsidenre For Sale. euhiva? ex,;pl l With an orrhAiil f -Mm s.kiu - i a- . . ',. "" A brick dwellin house with lo rooms, waib, wW and house, well rilled. Swi. barn. earr7. bouse, baa never l.illinar ronninir water at the t'J2&lW- rry he.,. -v. . uc 'i.ftittoc irim tne iuMmt iTkrTh..",;i1! W"h '" and p?ank olemen . i I r3 " "" ." If t. ucioretf, antl wlil iflvt possession uninediawty. K j. HKIMMEL, J. R. MECAHAN, BUTCHER, AND DEALER, Wholesale and Retail, IN FRESH. MEATS! All kinds, such as BEEF, FORK, MUTTON", VEAL, LAMB, SAUSAGE, Pudding, Bolog na, Mince Meat, and LARD of our own. Rendering-. MARKET DAYS Tues3ay,,TMay Saturiar Somernel, P. Mat can tx obtained any .lay .ltirins th week. April 11. T ATTPC! ''nol"r;theIr own Stocking sUstlsVisUls) "'r less than one rent per pair . ,i.,ire ,. FtMAOB DV me use of our "MAlUt! TISTS -i: r.,n . change tne cdor or their lresiw!!. restore to fresh ness and brilluorv bided Silks. .Merinos. Alpacas, Neckties. khihon., or Impart to them new and lovelvshades Little trouble and nominal cost Stick of any dsirod color sent on recwipt of lo cents. 3 different colors. J.c. Postage Stamps ac cepted. Send Stamp fur Circulars and Simples. K r. A K . K I CHE.UIC.tL. HIIKKS. MCortlan i St. N. 1'ork. P. O. Box, iVn. THE Perfection Earth Closet. a:r tight, loisam aid automatic. Seat always clean aud free from dast, sndt wo ooob can ercape. adapted fir as- li Hospitals, UolrUasd ranlltea. be used ia the Heiroons wllaeut rl.laa- aa; offence. Prices, 10, 14 and 18 Dollars.. Address, with, stamp, for circular, HENRT H. B. ELOOMFIELD, r. 0. Box 45!1 34 Dry St., Tew Fer Dee. i WAMfi to rare a rise cf Catarrh in eacb ik-hhorhiHHl. with nr. meily. to Introduce It. Kamser'i Sample- free. J. C. Tilton, Pittsburgh, 1'a. Nor. a Store aDfl Mouse
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