, i i:k.u or AtTi::ryiKij.: One square of 10 tine, on tlm, '. . - 1 M ' Every suosospjeut iuaeruou, 60 One Miliars, i uioulU, ' ' -4 nil hn mouths, 6 nil line year, ' i . "ID lit ktiuuUirK snt Adoiinirtritort notices ... .'. , 4 Bit, Ail litor no.ic.i". 1 Ml llusities? Ctuda of 5 limit, per annum, ' t IO Murchaiu iu ! inborn adveriisina; by lb jfeil-.. with "lie iirivid id oa, 11115111,4 quarterly. d . follow i ' feci (i.uj wiUiiu lb yt-.i. " Vnt Uiuiumn ui lU all trrsararfvt t 'ihmt lerin will -hi su-gllY adhered to hereafter. If ubcrilH-r neglect or retime lo Cuka ilieu uwa ty,pi. irum ilie ouigb lo wmci. itiy arnmi-eeita, iLej ar ipouaiui uuui ui,,y hay it ulu Ui bint n-. Cudoiea inem uiju-.ii.iiu;u. l'o.iu..siu niu p.e.ac oi u our Aguutt, iu.u fltUIH leUUI diiUissiUU., aUUMIIipOOs, UiOlity. 'Ibet; tru pei-iuiiu-U ,o aw mi. ULiiaui u, -'obi uHiee Law . 1 Ouc quarter column, not cxccediDK 4 ?quar,$ll if I Ouu lull' column, not tiiug tt t-juarus, " ih U One culuuin. ; it) 00 j tJiiorlul ur local sdvertisln;. ny number ul litus ! not t'lcediiiq ten, JO oenu r bm ; lu ees.a i'tt i vur M'1'.liituuti! liiiff. ' PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORISliNU, DY 11. B.MASSER & E. WILVERT, SUNBURY, NORTHUMBERLAND COUNTY, RENN'A. job rnntTiNO. W have couuiols-i null our eitablisbUieut a wei. SeitM.eti. Ut't'lUli, "UK'ta will enable lu to .-Ut., iu iu uu iij-io, , f vpw VTflf. 1 KO n M.irri4 uolioe, 60 oon'j. " .; . Uuilurios ur r-milu iD coap&Vltg BOtiuH of ' de.iiiii, 10 ouun iW lius. . - SATURDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 22, 18GL, OLD SERIES, VOL. 20, NO. 5 l-riuunit TUH.UM Of TUB "A.imitlt'A,. TKliM I TW 0) lKh.l4A.ts ft annum. $1 69 V SMBTJEI AMERICAN I, 1 V JB A.LTIM -TIB LOOK II O 8 P I T A I.. ESTAltTuslILD A3 A KF.FVUE FHOM Ql'ACK' EUY. THE OXLY PLACE WHERE A CVKE CM.V BE uBTAlSEt). DR. JOHNSTON hiw ili-rviti reil ihnmt Crrtnln, Spi'e.lv mil milv Eflcclunl Kcinfl.T In the Vorlil I'it nil PrivnleliKiiSi-". Wnikm-iw ( the B.-K-k '.r lmlw. Kiriclun. Atti-ciliina of tin- ki )ncy mid iilm! lei. lnv.ilui.tiirv liii.obnriji. rni.nteiic.T. dene Ml Di'b'liiv, Nmrn'mw. l Tf ' lV. Lmniiior. Low 8iirit ro'ifiim'ii ol I leu. P il.itnti..n ol Ihr HeurU 1 imi-li: v. 'j'r Mliitw. I'in nwi'l IK"1 'r Hirt'lmn". Jiiwris.-Vl'llie llon-L Thront. Noho r kin. Affwiiimj il the Liver. Luiin". Stoumch or Ikel thine Terri tile UwinltM Kii.!n from the Solitnry ll.iKit!" or Vciuih ilnwe- siicret nml snlitnry prnctiaim nmri- r-ttnl to their viclims thnti the soli ol Syren? to the Mil-rim-M "f l'lvmi'.blijbtiiiK Iheir moil hiillmnt bope or aiiticifi.iiion!!. reudcriuu uiarriiye, Ac, iinpossi, V-vchUv. no hnve hecmnie ihe victim? of So.ltnry Vice, th'il ilPMi'lful nnil di-?lrnctive bait which nniiii'illv i-wi'i-i" to -in untiir.tly jrrnve lhon?!,d of Vot:n ' Sl,-n of tin- wont cx ilie l tnli nta iini hrilliiint liiti'Mwt. who nii rht otherwise hnve entrnticed limen i.,, , s-n.il! ? i h the thunders of elonnence or waked .o" "luty tht living lyre, may call with full con- 8 I unco. ........ M.IKKI Kit,. M ivrii'u Ptrjim?. or Yoniii fcn eontemplnllnjt n-rri ';': ln-ii:c ire of pf. ion I wenknesf. orauio .- !-i!i: v. ! ;..i n ilii"-'. Ac eijci-lily cured. lie who p'.-o'c? tiiino lf nndi r ihe c ire ofltr.J. in iv r,!i':. i.lv n.n"i.le in hi.' li'iv..i n- 11 L'ciitli-niHIl. I iMiitfli-n'lv r.-'y ii,-.oti l.ii Kill Phynlciah. . 1. :.?in' v,'i:i:;i Ion d i-! . or-. 1. ut. 1 r uM Viftir, ItesloreJ. j ;,-. i,;...,,! ,i.;o-i. 1: -lich ri'ii'l'.'in Life mi--. r,il'i- hi n..,"rri i.-. m'ii.o..-;i.'- --i- the penally i.. I hv ihv v; ::i. if .i.o r.'t-.-r ;i1.lul..c;.?. ..uti? ,..i. i,s irr 1 .0 ait .. iti.b.'.i ex'nwc fi'tn not 'It- ;;-t'H-i;Vi :iii--'.,.iofiices Moil inav :!.! u:i.!,r I.-I..U the mit.ict will 1 i v ih'i' 'in' p"-r of procreation i lost v il-.c ' iM'1!!.' in'" "'T''' 'l'"r lial.i;: limn by . t j;,,; ,.. I."inj A 't.ri 1 the yU inire if I, v -IT r'.i,.' 1:0..: j.-rioU!" ml -1 liructiv ..o.i !.-. o-itli l o Iv 111 d n.iii 1 'iri-o. Th-y;eui I' I' ll." I'. ii..t I. 'h.' rliviC'il htmJ .ii.imi folic ..!. !..- ot I'r .T..'iir!'.i' l'"i-. N-rvnu -t ; 1 l'i.! ". :; oi l ' lleurt. 1' . 1,:. ii.ii 1 J-h-a V"aiiii nf ..1 ;;i. l' !.'.; r.itl..!.. 1 .. t4 1'CHth. . V .tliil l'Vi'tl 1 l.-ii iH-M I - ....:.- fvtn Vxiltiworo 'rec!, a few 11 !i - I i 1 o- 1- !U It, i i I l.i:in!"-r l.-ltil- n. v l.-..e.oi Ml'.. i,tt to oostrvr nau;e ho rai l -it. 1 c.-r,ti,'.r. a 'Uinp. Tht '.. ii Y.nn r :- h;(.r;.i3. : i Vi--t vri:i irv two -r't-r-j or .'.;. ..o.vt Drug:. tin. ,'iKf.j.vi'r.. 1 !i..vi.! Oo'".e'e of Surgeons. London, .oi . of the i-. "..t ainir.ent Colli de? in t!iir- -.ii 1 .h" t'-fiT l.'irt of who'e lite ?.! :, I..-1 cf t.ia ij-i'i 1- the 1 l.itol tu. I...,,, -t ., !..! -f Lonti-.n. 1 .irifi. i'UI-Ii M-l lli'.h, i.L-i'ii.-; eurv ,! : : r jitd f?ine of I..,. n ... .i ,fl I. il V 'i' ih.-'i v-.-irer known ; .- hi tl hTi.'l and euri i i. ' '.' nlmr.i"cl at M- !l -r.'ii,.'.?. r. I.il.-l ll,.' 1 c I 11. 1 :i: ! (!'.'. i :r -! . n 1 i' r ; i'V 111 1 ' ..t-,.!t..m.-. i- i -"i'h uvi liUSli i" ;i vi'h fr.-n. -nt oliL!uni. ,.;.j-r.iir.i' of u.iiid. weie lui hav itiiTi J ihctn, .i!-.i...v .u. l R.i!.iry hal.ite. 1 1 ii'ifi.l. ur.Iiiiin; il.cn for i -v -.-r M. iii i-i.;e. i- .'l -. I noh.i. .hr.'.- tfec;? yi.ilii. vi;: UnSfw of i.. 'n li i l!-d. I'imneee of VT. 1'nlpit.ilh.n ofll'O i. Irri:.l.i'i' li.Tnc-io-nc ii. -. Uei.cnr. L) ..bill'?, .lymp- Int.. ,,r.ilic Ii . .-.r!v I. ih" l.:ii I s. . il- V.rv. I'.inj.i; l)l..n. . t::'::l;n X, i:i hi.i.v. 1 1 n ll h I.i !i" .Irua.l" I I le IS. I ..ii'.rei--.. 11 'i. ,il rFe?rn the mind ar - M.-ivo e. O.'tifusioll of i ,-'lM.' 1 vh-K.-.-'i. l;-;'. Act- j trut. I.--'C i l .--olituilo, ; 'lii'ii.i;v. A i- at.' ? "ii'1'..f it..' wiH- pro to icl. T,!..: - i'- : ' ,r.--.i-' , f ii'ilnc-a - t..,w Jtidtfe I wieil i il.e cuu .' of -.beir .! -tilling health, Umug In i- i. Vi' . In-ciuiir i w "":. nale. nii-v.-.m aim j hallo a iiinl ir apps.irancd aiaiut tbu ,u.,, ;-iu;t, an I -ynn.ioxs'Jl ..'oiisiii:,,..! u. . '!-i h'Vi- ii i'.in l li; n I'lvc-hy s .-n il in rrae'lee , i,.ii,i,?.:.l ii, wi ii .'.l- ru'. a 1... .in :i!-i'.-ty .r-.ruvii .All ""I '! ihe orrc" of 1 l! .11 .l.'.i t.'l r, v.li.-ti i.fl'c. p. so i il riot ii. . ..s-il.le. a lid dv-lroy .1,1 i.i ply in ii .-.'.vili-iy. i.iii mini. Ih" !.o e of his p u , niu. l.'-nM be -n-it.-hc'l ..p.i ."ii.i.nu. -f lil'.-. by the r tv on p.''h ol nature - - ..-l bi.i il S..!u pcrs.jin oinri . . th n.i',.1 H..-I l-.-l . . -I," What a pity ill '1 a J i .i.n y. ih,' uiirlio 'i .i IIU.M -ill l-.il:S'-.,l'- pr.'.-p. iulin uii I in lu'jt'ii- i. i oiTfiej nisi, ocli.ru co. .luui n.i i-I Mi"'. ron..r.r th'it a mnnd loin 1 and laidy re the ra.t ii,;..'---:ii-v rm'.ii.-ii.-.s i. i r.iiii'-l It..! 1 without ll-.e . ihe ii e -iik u iv. on , p'iroioii, ,1 iru. iii : ii' vo-: 'In' mi wil'i ....-io:ir and tii.r'l l.llli t'.,.n ilia' 'to h-'l l '" ' . coi.t.nhist h iptiine-i. i i.rro.j thr.-i'-.'h I iii ho- j n I K'.-.-oi.i s hil'iowed I ihe n... t.ii. -iv.lv r.'n.'C. .rh-i- ij-i-. u.i blhicd v 'nh our ou n Mi-mi ih.' u...;nii-. ':r.pr ir.-.i.r .;i'--it v, tnry o ..'oi'.'i ib 'l!' o Ih'i i it.j ilvit i,n iil-iiiiied l'i.....,,-ery . ! ' mm f -. m I.. -;c ai an. I pl, n-ure finds Inn; " h lint IHItt.t ll .iii'".'. tl 1 '!' 1 S.-1..-C oi -ii.iri,. f .mi apply hi! iii. -si ri-poi-uiloliiy. i! ai.-ni! the ,-.n-'.iiii'.i''i.l fyinp n ske tlu'ir n i p"iuat.i- tl.r at. di-i-a- I i.. i :.i. 1 .;iuh. die i i- f-i hi III" I I, in., .h-hiyi!.),' till .i t'vir h.-:ii'l iliwe h a. i;'.'vr,i!'-l lure .. lu:r..:l p-ti: a i;i li e head :hr. il-.oit'io i, h'S mi the 'on I'. la p I I'l'le.1. '; r-u.i i ii-s. t r..r-.'- . In-.-, on the h' if -a iih l.-ili-Pil ad, l'iee und rai ldilv. till III h.ot III" :ii!i ol Ine liv e h IT i::o i. -i.e- onus tu.se latl ill. a. .1 tin; v:,-'..!ii of tl'i. in ful .lisi ao; l,..,',.i,i'- ii bor.'id ol.j.'i'.i ol '.'.i.ini.-.'riiii'.n. liil ilea ill pair a p rii. I to hi- ilivoll'iil (otf. i ioiis. hy n'lldilii (inn lo-uint I'niii-MUTo.i t-'uiiniiy fr.an wbcneu no traveller return.'1 ... li i- a ,u.i.i:,,h,i!u fft that thniif.nn l la'.l victim to this lerrilile do iowr.ua pr-.''.."..d :se, iii; to tne unssi uewoi i II, ,. Il j. '., Illv HOC ..I ,,.-. I l... .1 ..1 ) ..u Poi voii. -itlc. ' . n.ai . i constitution said uutke the rtn leuof lii'u iiii't-raolc. t .ir.it Triitt not your livi-s .or l.oaitt.. lo Ihe earcnflhe m c I i,,t.jirm-. ana w orlltli-is 1'reivii.i . i. .i-.,n.., ol know Ids, "sine or i t, J ihnstoii'a ndveriiMineiiis. i il... i, rfi.crs. re-ri.litf-tv racter. lio c..py IT. r sivlo iheinsetvea. Lducatisd riivsielana. iii -iu iihlu ol Curii.i, il.uy "keep you trilliint laoiUll st'i. r ii.onlli Inking ll.eir filthy and poo.oi.uK c.nii- p,a,u i-.r..sl"i.as iue.ni. ' u.. I ii, ,i..i,i.ir. it:.ic ,,iu .w over your iir.inj(ili.-ipp.iin'"iciii. lr J. iniiston is Ihe only I'hy-ieian .tveritini. His crc l. u.ial.ir ,li(.l.iuunalays ban - in liisotl'ue. Ilia l eiui lies r Irouiun.eiil are uiiku.mu lo ull liber, prepaid li' ii a lilc cnl iu the ifrcal ho--niiuot'i:iir..ie, the lir.l pi lb c.i.oirv and mors Uu-i.i-iiv I'rtrat Vr-Mlt. than tr.y other I'hjsiciau T.: h s:- r r this imi The laai'V ibousaud cured at tbi insuiu'ioii year f er vear.' sod li.e iiuiii.ioiu important Surionl nitration. iKiiIoioied i.y Ur. .b.bi.aton. witnel by the reporter, ol the -.-tin." "I'ui i ar." and many oiher paper, noiioi-i ..fwbicb tHve appearc I ,'Hin ud a-'aln before the public, beiidea hi itainluia a a tieuileuian '.f char.n'icr and re.puiisibility, u s r,.,,i. ... lo Ihe afflicted. au ..... 6 saflHilUl.l' 4 1 iti:i. Person" writin? nhnuld he particular In dircotinii tleir leiteri, tobis lmtilnti'-n, ii. ibe l.ll" u K "Ml .141114 31. J4UI Af '4'4, Ji. ., r. H i Buliiii ore Lock Hospital, Bsltiiuure, Md. April 2, lo-l y- l.T'rMEV' '. 'd i'rou.r-ay!.c York. Will carefully a. -tend to coIIooUom and ull olbor muticrs muiuil to jheircsre. Sept. I .-. i0" FLOUR & 1 1 WHOLESALE ASU HKlAlL. T1JE tubscriber respectfully iuforiut the publis iiV-t bo keep! comuntly on baud ux tn new U AkU0L'.-E. iVetb- duauiokia VaJUy Kuilroad llpii io L"N bUh-T. I'l .ur by lb. b-ur.l and tssik, JJiiabur, Jus 4. li POETICAL HOW THE PRIVATES TALK. ST PIllVATK Mil. KB O KEILI.T. Wv h ive Ill-aril tlir K el. yt-11. We lutvi' lii'tinl the L'tiimi xhuut, e li.ie Mt-luliiil ilii- tiiulttr wrv well. Ami mriiii tu tijlit il mil ; In licturi' lni'py i'iiw. In tin- lilioiiii of ntu r rnut. Wc Imve pk'dgeJ ourii-Ueti, "Come wi-al or win-. B IKiivt n ! wo tijlit it nut." Th imiw too late to question VVuni liiiii.iiit lilt- wur Hlnitit; 'l is a tiling nl pride mid imiciun. Ami m- iikhii In lii.li' it nut. Lit tin- '! i-h iM use I lie pen, Li-1, tlii-iu ram li. 'k: tin in r-pntlt, v ure liiiil'u inilli.iii wenputitil nun, A. ui iikhii t.i liglit it out. Our (k-itil, o.tr lovi-tl ure cr; ini, Frtiiii iiiiiuy a aim m il reilmilit. In the m hiiijjs unit tri'iiclii'H lying 'Oil, l ouintiliK. hV'lit it out 1 'Twiih our Comfort us we li'.l To hear your (jullieiinii ahout, Rolling liiiek the Ui-ljela' weitkor y Uml speeil ton, tij'lit it ou.tr Tin- negrnlVi-e or alave V- erne no pin u;nii t. But for the ll.i our l.ttm rs gtvu We me. in to tij.it it nut. ' Ai, I uii.l, linit I. nun. r In am ell- One Kiliel rarf alnill lioitt, Witii vo le.in ; iirm hihI lu;-liiii-' .daive ' 15.i heiiveii ! wit liglil it n it 1. O.i. wt have heitril the Ki liel jell. We nave liiaf.l tin; L'niop I-Mlt. We line eif-liett tin- limit, r er.i well, Ami me. ui to lifilit it out : III lie tl ii-.lt of perlei't lri,nnp!i, A 'ui tin- lilioiui nl ill lei lu i. We iia e k ir;i on initnj n Minnly lie'. I "We uie.iii to liln it out I" " iit o I:ji-j, l.in c Ui. I'rom ihu Si. Paul Press. "T .II c.ui'iU' le.l. Ihe work nf p-rnnrillu-ti.ni -. , ui . i lian' i 'fin eiy." .';.e McVul-i.i'.-. ic ttf oj Asc Ll, rV j i'-o, not snei-y, . it tie M. c, r or 1 .van lu. -re to s.-e ; Y"'t m i., nave nod a.) c.i-y time, . 11 a ll via- liu'ii o.i i.tr. I shall leineinbe , Little .Mi'", Iv en to in . il;. In;; i la., , IIo.v m Vnuiiiio s ii, ir swamps SYii'K ii.ier week we lay. Feu,-stars shone brightly, Little Mac, J oui- gloves were winle as show ; But hf, pimr soldiers iu ilie lii.l'c. Welt liiiillldcrin- to nll'l Ho. The rebs laughed ul us Little Mac. Who count tin ir n.i.tii co.uk-mii We loi e I line ui'i-Kiats lu the mad, The ,i. f.roi s lo.lei lor num. Tt;n k'li.lne-s in jou, Lillle Mac, To .-ii no mcio in c. ' I'll,. a k.ii.tiii s .y.i. r Siuihirii IViiiuls iui i-.r.iii-i u. ou on n.e. 'Twos manly in you, Little M n-, I'o leave our i s Ilii .r slaies. They don lies.- luedi il tliein to dijf T.iclr treiichci und their grilles. Bui it was nut easy, Lit lie .Ma-'. i-'or us. w urn out w nil ti lt. To nie. t sii. h loeiin n n we net, I p ui tue s.i'itt'l k iil. Th"V fi'Uht us iier. c V. Little Mac--Ii i I n..,l,hi to .In bat lioht ; Our g in-. i i iv rusty w;lh iK trii i I ; U.o' sp-el. .- a.. in. wi re lu iuht. An. I vo.i renieiu'i. r. Lilt it- Mac." That lam. iis "cl anoe of l iise," T.' us Ihu! foii-jiit Ih il seven days' Il w as no p, us, nit race. ..Jit, I'm it -ay '!i.m.ii;, I.'tl'e Vac; LU J t llll'ili' I I w. !l. 'Tiui, .' to see friends fall so f And u-ave theui while they fell And ull w ho foiiiibt tin re, Li't!e Will -it. uml it'll j ui Hue ; That il's no ens line o saie. 'itoii mid .s'.'i loo. st, v Mac, TALES AND SKETCHES. 'i .n; i'itoi i;s.ti .ti i;ic i A 'i.4. Some J Cat's since, w.ien I was in college. It I.i illlioliyt our "hll'll ty" a ( u. ion-per sonm;e w hoin evci v one r. nrdi d with con s de al.'.e ri -pect, ml ji t a-a cliiu'acti r '(' j i ir'". He ha I lived' many jeiir.- wi lioni a w f , iiiii i expected to live so always In I-ei', a-he ! a-I he )ilolessor of inall.ilia ti toe lib-tun li-'ii oi hisstietice forbade m, ulmiij Iii l ie idea o ictlinu niuitli il. C- . J- lo the iema e sex. then Inn be sliolMtl lio litcness re pai tit tilar. other reoar.l than common p q lire. I, His character, ill thi W i iuie!y ue: alive ..opii'ur with tue 1 1)1 course he was not i.'ii. s, and ihev kept 1 1 1 1 1 i-i I i s ut- a di-lHiici' from him, liul I'ircuuisiant es that i.tten I r'lii' abmit a luatch i.i other eases, p'need him in, a peculiar di tcunnu. Il seemed a whim, that a tn 1 1 --ii v Was htid Upon him to yet ii.i.iried. II wa , ... il ,e ul tile I.li'lilly ot the l oMt-oe, all toe ii. her professors were married and ol.line.l lo t u t it t ;i i ii t e . i t i i ,4 ii i - Li d vi-toi- m tin ln-l it in i,in. lie has ulwa s I uinled (i i-oiils.. il wa u'i i". i'1-i't.-it ..I hi a th.t In -ho i'd ever nUc n puny e a !'p m -r. Bti: I l e a i In r.'ja I- I i- i' i' i' i uie ill III ni tit lo shirk n:i liii- iiuiti.r ! i.i i iir lo ear, an. i "w ll nil' a- lie .s , e- i.'i.ni'i i , tn I'.rnw laeii'l v p. tit,- nl i.i i' in, in "i ! I he -i uii 1 trou'ile of i n . ri lining ,.. tl .o il p t'P p nt the Col I h -p. . i L g.-. I h .'-i: u was ll i'i 'o e lil'.llllllt 'y a-ki d , "A'liy doesn't soil, e ill I lie ills: in th.' .tils 'ul-i-r entertain -in I- tliat viir I" I Is " No v o.ir professor wasn't a u i-cr at all. and it illicit troiibVd liim to think lie was i siiaated that iie conhln.t Lear his part ul the burden And vet. what could he tin? Must he get man ic I f And if , to wlnuiif lie had no special regard for any om- in the vi.iinity ot the college, and no one had any special regard tor liim. Iu his younger laya he had seen at school, a young lady in the city of New York, iu whom hu had tell a peculiar interest. But nf her he hail not ueard for year.. Doubtless i efore this liiue sin- was maiiied, or in hei grave. PnssiLly, however, she w. sMili living ami waiting ior him 1 Glorious, thought ! He was qni'e relieved to think nl'it, I liuugh, inth ed, lltt-ie might be no foundation tor his relief. Nevertheless, he would make due inquiry. Nor could he long )g delay, for Commence- 'the professor had married a conk, why be was also jiiMfcg fcoa lauiiful ilsrj l)Qd, ocly a few clida't know ay U;tuf. Allti-tbt kosw Usl C-val di1 wt-ii e. olT. It was liia turn, or rather would lie il lie wax tnarrieil, to ive the great din ner to the (liatini(iii.ilieil pemonareii who wotilil lie present on thti occasion. Tnere would he t tie Governor of the Stale, ami hi lady the trustees of the Institution and tneir Irieniln, uml others of equal repute, liul who aliould de luuter of ceremonies .nut who an. mid (Trace the talile ? He could aiure t lie i-ircle periiap-i, iMit'aueli a cin ie a-, tlii, what I'ouid lie couid he tin w ith it t If lie was only married, what n helpmeet would Ida wile oe at much a time, And yet. Ilia wile unlet lie a ooii looking, kcciiiii pIMieil, mid illteliieiit lady j otherwise the blank wnuid Le a Lint I Ana there, was a joiiM-r lady in the m'gh Imrliond iliut l lie professor tlnuiirht iiiilit aiieut-r. He had eeeli her at Ida l.iuirdilig-Iioum-, uml pllkell to her mice ur twice. -But,' "eue iiiii. auy no," and if she did, "w lure ill eleutlnll," thought he, "could I liidu my head I And (lieir wlial would lie cuine nl" i lie dining t" The Umernnr mu.-t liHe a dinner und he must have a wife. And hence lie lay awoke ul nut it all tiiiilit. At iHi-t us Ihe in.iniMio; I in ike he tried out to linn ell, "Coiileii.pt ,J Mie will ray no. will sue I What 1 in-ill1 Oilier men have lived tiiMogli a. ami 1 i-lia.l. If nut, ! ahall have it en u c.mMieiice iil.nut the i.i n ', and a clear couaeieiii'e ia the main tiling niter all ! I il. write a note '. Miss A. any way. It ma., i t el.c will te. a l it laxnral I ." bo the prnl.aor .it down mid unite a note to Mina A. ''ctiij a minute," auid lie to him.-ell, "what will the lioiernnr lliink uf the lailv '. hue is handsome and poiite, but ran she e . in else ( (am she' cndr.uin t umiiiinv (' "ijotll'tliil.' said he to hiin-ell. "very doubt tu: :" and so he tore up ihe n.,le, A Ins I for a limn ou (lie vei'e ul lua' i iinmiy !, Ill an In-, r nl In.., l..wevr, liie.I'l'ulessur called l. hi Pi.Milenl a. ll said: "1 .-..nub! i.ke to Le absent a few days?" 'An!" said tut- President, "jiist at this timet" " I es, sir, I have my classes in reudinesa fur the ex .liiiuatlon,-and 1 wish to yo to N W Vol h.' Has mi, death octmrred in the family,'' Said tin- Pl'cslullit. ".Nn, si;- said the Professor, "but I have a lutir matter of bm-ine-s that rrqiiii-fs in y nn.ie I a e a tuiiiuii, and I tlmuyht it b, si in on." "You have my best ivi-hes," said the l'resiileiil, "and in. iy you re m ni safely and not name." I'll.' Prol'esaor almost smiled, but blushed ni iier lhaii sini, cd, and left tue President, and il. corned In cw Yolk. H. a iir-t in. piny on his arrival there, was. for Mi-s A lciine O , tne Miun ladv whoin he h e I s.-i ii some years belure, at school, us we Ii. v meiitioi e.l. " ii.. ." ai. tue respondi nt. "ihe family luis become rtduc, il, and site Is a cuuk. Pi r nips you d.in't know it sir?" 'A Ii !" said lie, "that is just what I waul !" I). i !" suid the la-lj we thoiiijil you wan- t.-d -omil..inu else pos-lblv.' No; I have been lul l -tarved Si Ce I le.l X ',v Y-u'iv. in I 1 want to dentil some one t .a e i i coo , d e tl ' " iv'ell, -ue can no thai, for she scarcely ha- mi ,-ipial in I lint line in thi - city. Why, sir, sue is a cook, j'tir tifeUtim." "And how dues she look ( I 'She is tue handsomest cook in the city 1 too." I ''Not quite lout. I pre-Hine." said the Pro-f'e-sni. -'Ii.il is she intelligent '. I speak enn liih t Ilj." ': ''lite lLent '. Sill- is, iudeetl slit can Winner a- l.ke an iiuuel." 1 ".V ill as lo iiiuii. e.s. Is she accomplish ed;" t As graceful us an actress." 1 "taiuldii'l 1 see her before that hour?" i "I tim.k that would be the most conveni ent time tor her to rail, ami to see jou. Hie will be engaged in her duties till tin n. I will wait then. Please to tell her that Ph. lessor Mai k, uf Virginia, wishes to see I er an oid acquaintance ut In rs." ! '."l.all 1 tell her that you wish to engage a ci'.k ;" "You may tell her t.hut I wish to See her," (aid the Professor. ' VtliHt name did you say ?" ! '-professor Ma. k.of Virginia, if you plesEe, niu him." i An ever'as'i.ig long day was before him, 1 m il he hud nothing to do; not a problem to , solve, except the one in hand, and that wits one nl a dnubuiil solution; Light o'c oi k at lost c inie. and the Pro l'is-or called aaln to sec the yolinii lady. 'A cook, indeed!" said the Professor to hiuiscli'; --he is a sph nded woman' tit to I g . ai e any par o. in the wol'l I ! ' But how in cleat h n sunitltl he make known Ills iul-1-i;e-s Poet-, tiiej say, beyin ill I hi- middle of tin tr sior.v ; bill protcssors of matheina tii'. w In re do thev begin! Kinallj . saiil the -i, Hut. ".d k .. how would von like logo to Virgo in I ' " I'o Vir.in a!" - ii I s'ih as if surprise I. Are joi. nut ii.i-laki n in the person whuni you wi-hed to see i" "No. no." said he, "don't ynii ren. ember tint we I. nth uttunded school in Franklin street "l)h." said she, -it is Georoe Mack I re ineml.crjnil well; why, 1 didu'l know that jou were alive!'' And 1 have never forgotten you." ' Ah ! indeed, jou are very kind to remeni her me so long ! I thong, it every one hud f rolten me in my calumnies." "1. ople olien think thev are overlooked a ..en . riaU overtake them to hi, thai jour plcsi'llt but it is for you trials are at an "Professor Ma k ! what do you mean A hy I am a n ere " "if you have hud reverses I have had sue ids, and have the means of making you cniu oitulile in life." "Bui you do not know iny circumstance iniii, for I w null I not deceive yii. Georgef" "i. does not Coin em mewhtit you are now, but. wind are you willing to do." "Hut I have imaged mother' Professor." "And I wish to have one; she cau go too," Matters were soon arranged as tn time. pace, and i.remony, anil this lulng over i lit- party were oil' to Virgiui the Pro !' s..r pleas d that lie hail solved the matri monial proi'lcin sotuaily. ami the lady that a, ic was no longer at the world's Lidding. Iu ilia country nt Virginia great ado i made tor a newlv married couple. Ut course much w as t specieit in Ilie Caw of the Proftssor. But some "bird in the air" car- red the story iu advance;, that Professor Mack had married a rook! What lady then would call upon hi-r t What society could ilia F. P, V a nl Virginia have with the cnuk. But Ihe Prtsitlent sd.ised hi wife to call uuon her out of decency ai least. If wan hnvr tn so'vt prolilenis in ninthemaiie?. Bepidi'S, he HI S u lit lint hate married a conk, or it he liar! hn wan well nlfiu tine respect he rould have a jjikmI talilo. "PbIihw!" aaid the riisidetlt'a lady, "whnl lines a person cure nlmut a table in conipari son r-Hti- in soriety f" ' ('ate In society will do well enough," he replied, ''hut bince we nuiat eat to live, u well roasted turkey ia Letter than u tried chicken, and a short hiacuit than an epicure care for ccteniony' A good nip of collie is l.etler." "You ore no Virginian, lnisliand other wise, you would never say that, for any Imily knows that noliility in a lug ml in is lo lli r tliHii a cook iu :i palace 1" 'Well, cull on the lady and sec theories are olten nund fur nothing, whilst practice is the sum of prelect inn!" The 1'iesidviitisa called and was am irci, the cook was much her aupeiiur mnl she tilt it. The other officers laditfs liavino; heard that the president's wile hud calieil mi .Mo. .Muck, were uluiued accortlin; to cutoiii to follow' suit. They, too, were disappointed for the JNew Yotk lady hadn't liied in a city in vulit. lu mind, in iminners. in uc- nssociiitin pinicipully Willi slavc-niastus, compliihmelits, she outranked tluaii all! t. hiif Justice Taney's political utu! umral Besides, in respect to family she was nut at j sentiments were gradually lihssed, until al iniTiOr. her father Lading hud forluue they became completely warped. Ju 1 b-"i(i, unci! und lost it. I wucii the reat si rtitj It; was yoino i-n I i Coinmeiiceiiient day was now nenr nt j tween shivery us a meal and slavery as a Ho lland, and the (jreat timing was to route oir j tioual lorce, he so tar loiym die diLtnitj o, at tin- Piolessor's. Nm was Mrs. Muck at all ' his iiosilion and liis own eel 1' respect as l. disconcerted about it. She had seen a tiling or two belure, and vvas.fully conlident in her owe ability to meet Ihe exiiteiicy. When t lie time arrived, all exes were fix ed on Mrs. Mack. How would she appear iu the presence of the Governor of Viiginia? How in ihe presence of the professors and tne PrcsidcntC Anil what sort of a table would she set, and how would i'!.e irriice it; Could she o through it with dignity ;'' Of course all this was enuujrh "to try men's soul's" but Mrj. Slack was perfectly at home, liijetiquette in convsrsation in the ur rnneiiient of all the circumstantials and in the formalities of the occasion she showed heiseif equal to the ilillies devolving upon hi r. und evidently inn-rested the (jovcitior very much by her powers of conversation. "What a cliiuniinii lady,'' said he to his w ilt-, "is Mrs. Mack! and v. hut a table has all sel! and I ow well she graces it !' "My ilear husband." saul she. "Do you know sin; isa New York rook why. she has been a mere servant lor many years !" "1 know uotliitiLr about that," said he. inn if she bus, I w ish t-iery other lady was servant and a -sew iorK rooK t. Wt sli mid have sonietliini; to cut then, my dear, besides friend chii kens und iisli-cskr! ' "All men are not epicures, like oti Gover nor." ! "No hut if they vcre they vvnv.!d imitate the iiiiitheinaticat Professor, and v.'t to New- York to yet a wile. A in in wouldn't he run pelh d then In ni In n soloi-n to ui t a ilc-i-nt dinner! lie could Dud one at Imuu now a great rarity." MISCELLxVNEOUS. I Xbe I.nlo 4 'Kiel' Justice '1 nner. ' Hoger Brooke Tuney, for twenty six years , Chit t Justice of the sjupifuie I ourt nt the United States, diid in Washington on the evening of the pjtli of October. - He was burn in Calvert county, Marjlimd. March j 17lh, 1777, and was. therefore, in his cighty ( eighth year at the time nf his death. He I was educated at Dickinson College, in Penn- ; sy Ivunia. and was admitted to the bar at Annapolis, Maty land, in the spring uf 17H!i, I nearly sixty six years ago. He was shoitiv ' alieiwiirds elected to the Legislature; in lBOi he served as State Senator ; in 1S23 lie I to Ua timore ; in 1827 hu was ap 'runn j pointed Attorney General ol Maryland, in wnieli otttce he seivcl tour ytsrs. I moral convictions, ot the nation that more In 1 W3 1 lie was appointed Attorney Gen- ! than anything else, perhaps, it led to an up eial of the United states by President Jack- I rising of the free sentiment of the North sou, with whose bank policy he agreed cor dially. When, in lfiia. Mr. Dusr,e was 1 is-niis.-ed from the Cabinet for his refusal tu remove the deponits, Mr. Taney was nomi nated Secretary ol the Treasury in his pl:i'-e, but the St nate refused to conhrui him. In IttJ.'i he was nominated by Gcheial Jiicksou Associate Justice of ilie Siipreilie Court, to fill the vacutuy caused by the resignation of Judge Duvall. The bi-nnte retusi-il The Semite refused to act Upon tin; nomination, and thus, for the see o. ul tune, rejected Mr. Tain v. Shortly after- ' wards Cl.nl Justice ybirvhall (Intl. nml U lie nil Jackson at mice iiniiiiuated Mr. , T.niev to till his plate. When the Senate . met. in Match. ISilS, sullicient rhuiirrs had taken place in thii polilicid i oinplexion of j that bodv to etl'ect a contiriiialioii of an act I w hifh would scarcely have been performed I hail not the President preferred to g rat iff ami reward personal friendship rather than j lace upon the Supreme bench as the suo- ces-nr nft he great Marshall, one of equal. win th, genius, and reputation, one whom I'liiel Justice Marshall had designated as his siicfissor. nanii'ly. Justice Story. When Mr. Tuney became Chief Justice of i l,e Supreme Court, he was already conside rably pust I he prime of lile he w as fifty nine years of age. He had In ch previously a hiw jer in good practice and of considera ble local repute; originally a Federalist in politics, and ul one time oi' his life the friend oi impaitiul lila rtv. In ill-lending the i.ev. Jacob Cruder from a charge of inciting slaves to tlisor.hr in Maryland, in 1 8 1 ri. Mr. Taney used these memorable word, which ve qilnte ut length as the most honorable record of his lit' ; "A hard necessity indeed compel us to endure the evil nf slavery tor a time. It wasimpu-ed upon u by another nation wid e yet we were in a (tale of colo nial vassalage. It cannot be easily or sud denly reoiovti I. Yet while it continues it is a blot on our national character, anil every it.tl lovi-r of freedom confidently hopes that it will be effectually, though it must he gradually, wiped away, und earnestly look for the means by which lids necessary object mav l-e atiained. Ami until it snail la) accomplished, until the time shall come when we ran point without a blush to the language lit hi in the Declaration of Inde pendence, every friend of Immunity will seek to lighten the galling chain of slave y, and ltter lo the utmost of Lis power, the wretched condition of the slave." Is ii not a coincidencs worthy of passing remark that the Chief Justice should have lived to witness these noble aspiration of Ins youth carried into effect bv hi fellow citizens in his native Stale. The very day ' on hich hu died they were voting "awa forever that hideous sorisl and political evil which he mum lamented so earnestly, and for the extinction of w hich he once so ar- denily prayed. A bit own spirit was pas- sing awav the darker spirit of that monster Din-inn the first years of his iccup:im'j nf Ihe lieiich .lust ice I uney tid not maintain the hioli repute nl his predecessniB in the exaited oihce. lie was mil u man of the wo mv c ililue of mind, ol'the name exhaustive learning u-i I cniiiprelielisivi Hess on. I snliilny ul jijilginiiit with the Kiiswuitii, u,,- .,. suaiis, tht; Slorj a, the Mi Leans, und oilu i iiluslrmiis men who have won for o.n- mi pieinv juilicinry tluj iliiiiialioii uml ic-.pi ct i 111 till- ll'lli WOIIII. Ills lU CI-li'll-, IniWi'li I. were fur the Ino-t part cntitiou.-, m;iisiI,.-, and on the whole siuiml. lu his inltipii ia llouS ol tile I 'nilsl It ulii Hi ui lue L ulled Males the j.,rt at ci'iicial list of the wisdom ami in.ici't h.u 1,1 c "1 the eourl In; inclined to (hose uil.ldlc and luoilerate npinuuis which j tnat tue Union not us a cuusnlidatid natiiin mi one Mile, nor us a mete lunieilt rai ion on toe oliier, ti.it us a co iip i-ile or mite I mi' j tin, i. in w inch the sovet -iontv has In cit di vided iielween the cenllal and the local (jo vi jiinieuts. These ore nuie npiu n n, II not i ill ui y ai.'ciirute, and so Iniiff lis they are lulhcred tn I'J the supteine tiiliumil will prevent alike a daiicious ecnlialiunon, and a still mure dangerous, seci'ssiuiii.-m. But living in aslaveliuldiiwenuiiniinilv, and leml IniiiM-d lo ihe conspiracy which -How ; to procure a nation;, I sanction if I In- evil. in tile famous I'Ted Scott case, in w Lich tile only I'fial puint itiVulicd wus a plea to i tne jiir.sdictioii of Ihe Ciit'nit Co'irt. upon a writ uf i nor to the Supreme Court, the Chief Justice Intving ilei'iiled that there was no jurisdiction w hich ought n Kive ilis niisseil ihe case, went out nl his way toutter several impertinent ami altogether anoma lous constitutional constructions. He pro claimed, in the course of this extraordinary opinion, that a free negro of ihu Alriian race whose ancestors were brought into this country und sold us slaves is not und cannot : be it "citr.en ;" thai for more than a cenlury pte iotis lo the adoption of the Decimation I of independence negroes, whether slaves or I free, hail been regarded us "being uf up in ! lerior order, uml altogether unlit to associate Jwitli the w hite race, cil hi r in social or ! political relations ; uml so lur inferior that liny Ltd no rights which the white man j was bound to re; -pert ;" that Dnd Scott, a I negro t.ave, who was reinov-.J by hi- mss ; ter from Missouri to liiinois, lost whatever I treeiloin In- may have thus acquired by I Len.j Miiiseniieiiilv lemovi'tl into the Tern- tnrrv ot Wisconsin und by his reltiin to , Ihe State ol .Missouri ; that the inhibition of I slavery in tue Ti rrilories ol' the Univcil Slate- lying north o the line of '.ili ileijiees mnl oh ii.iiiiiti .-, known a- tin; Miss.ouri j I'tompro, iii.-e, was uncmistitutioniil ; that i the only two claii-is in the Con-titution w hit h refer to negroes, trcut them as persons ) w li. m ii is liiiutally lawful to i leu 1 in us ait. i li s of property ; tha. the ci'.i.eii of any 'Mate may lake into a Territory nf the j I'nited States any niiii'h- of property rorng I ui.cd by the Constitution, or, in min i' I words, enrrv his sliives thither without moh -station to his pet feet right of owner ship, and ilutt Congress could not. exercise any authority whati ver over this species nf yopcrty thut it, could not ronslituliomilly cXiicise over any oilier pinperty. This decision, which was ititeiidtd to lend t he sanction of our supreme judical tri bunal to the great purpose of natioiinli.ing slavery, by I'eclai ing it - tir-t, to le lecog ui.idby I In! 1'o'is! itution ; sen-nd, lo be valid in the Territories, and third, to be entitled to a sojourne mid transit in the free States, was at war alike wilh history, with jurisprudence, with moral principal, with common sense and human feeling, and le , tented its own ends. It so shocked the which became apparent liist in tic Front nit i campaign, nndscc.iitid in Ihe Lincoln t La ti.ni, ' vvhicii murki'd I lie si cond grand epoch of our nutioiuil history. The t'earl'ul war which ha-, sin.e lsiil. desolated Ilie hind ot the slinc lord, is in a large part ilie fruit of i that ilili'ture which was given Lv the S:i- ' pi cnic Court to I he hefesics uml delusions uf the uml.ilious Southern oligarchs. I'n n if that decision hud not hern an pre'.-uaiit with political const-quenccs as it wa-; il it had been a mere leek less and pa-sing word, uttered in ! he excitement of cun-trover-y. it would have been no le-s dis graceful to ihu judge from whom it came. When lite digest judicial nuthoitty f a peo ple consent to dip its ermine in the til t It Mm I mire of the streets; when it opens the judi cial mind to the prejudices uf locality und class ; when it dues not scorn to furl her t he ll signs of parties or this intrigues uf parti sans; when, itl-teatl of standing bi l.tit; the w-iilldn. the innoirt ial and illl'Oiru'.vt il.li. exponent of the l ights of ull men to equal aud exact justice, it lakes upon itself to nro ' noiiuce a sentiment so atrocious lis tilat certain inin "have no rights which others aie hound to respect." it forfeits forever the reverence of mankind, und invokes its liu ineiisured contempt and abhorrence. A court of justice should lu- the visible em bodiment of the throne nf jod, where the lowest human creatine may p.in'i.letitly ask for justice, and w here the vilest even may yet hope for merry. But Chief Justice Taney has gone, ami his errors have gone with him. Free dom is now and henceforth Ihu law of thu land, and while her noble image crowns the dniiiu of thu C.ujitol, herspiiit, wo trust. will inspire thu courts that are g alheied be neath. A great slale-inaii ot the West, wliosu lifu has been i'l lectilie.l with Ihu si rnggle for truth, will doubtless nscetiii to the vuciint seat ; anil the year that closes the war will see a renewal of thu be.-t life of the Iti publie in her courts as well as in her legislative li..il. in the Executive chair as well us among; llit penult:. -V. Y, Etiniiig Advice to Yocno W'ivks. If anything occur in you domestic cnuctriis to vex or in. lie your temper, .In not annoy your guests In relating your grievances; it is unkind to thtui ami tends to mar their pleasure, with out bring of advantugu lo your self. Home people possess the enviable talent of nndrr i"g every one happy with whom they come in contact; they are endowed, also, wilh considerable discernment of clmrac'er, and know how to rail forth the peculiar talent and perfections uf others, while they en courage the tin, id and gently repress tha encroaching. Such, however, may not be your privilege-, but an earnest wish to pro mote the hsppinesj of your guests ia within your power, ami cannot fail to aheil it halo cf Utwjfuliirta ttfousd you. l(iuoi-au:e in ttn;xpi-li-l lMiiceN. Under this head Ihe A. I'. Ihrald says: We are verv iinieli astonished liy the in dicatioii ijiveii in General Mcl.'le! lull's recent sjieech, that ho hud never heard of Oeiierul Orint Uctictal McOielian, as the l.iaiuiitv I o. our readers know, is the candidate nf the I Chieuirn Convention, for President, and that 1 unveimnn in it piaiini'in, pi'oclaiincil its , j uipHthies with our urniy and .navv. Its I cuiiiiiiiate, I.-, t liercloie, to five expression to thai sympathy ill his speeches, tii.it Hits Oen. McClcIlan is undi-rstund to hav dune ut uiaiiLie. He spuke ol '8lu ridaii, rtiierman. und m nir',ut ; hut lie verystralii'ly uinil'ed the uieutest uf all tjciieral tirant the lean who certainly, b t5etiei.il Jli C'iillun'si-XHi.i- pie, is entitled to pruise. and nloty, nut tmlj for his ow n particular nchievemeiits, but fur the achievement uf all the others, lur when lien. McClclhui occupied the position that Gen. Grant now occupies, all the victories, east and west, noiih und south, and every w hi re, were his. He claimed this, and the country admitted it. But, whether or nut Gen. .Mi'Clellaii-eUT heard of the existence of this Gen. Grant, we can ass.tre him that it is ttie universal opinion of the people uf this country that there is such a man. it is believed that '.his Genera! Inught a great battle ut Kurt Doiitlson quite early in the war. und aehievei' a great victory there, capturing liliceii thuusaiid prisuuels. It is asserted tnat he captured ihu rebel strong- liont ol icksiiurg with duty tliou-aml pri- soneis: mill gained a great battle at Chut lav nooga in tin; same year. It is possitivelj Known that he has. fought battles nml I cell able to move his army next day. There, is, indeed, one reason that has tended to keep li : ii i nut nf sight he has never made ah, great noise in t!io papers with complaint. against the bad treatment otlllli Adminis tration. Yet, in spile uf this, his name i iu all ihe histories nl the wur. How is it that General MeClciiuu should not Have Diet .villi it ill his reading lately i He hub had marly tun years leisure. Whut bus he been ul Coi-lrail ol' Ilii- Eti'tirl 4-lciii, Jiilml I!m-ly. From tbe UrilUii (Ua ) llebel J Old Junul Lni'ly. urns General Lei-calls liim, his "bad old man," has won a nanu during. Lis sojourn in the vallev of Virgin. a of w Inch he is we.ll worthy. Did you ever see him; 1. not, you have mis-ed one n i the greatest curiositiis of the wur. He is it man ol eoiis'uiei alne corpulence, with a li.!': lace, which has the appearance, with i. j full niuoii when ll is at its height ili tc lue i lie is nbout six ieet high, uud.of iniiiieii- MI'liClute. His voice sounds like a cracked Chines, fit li 1 it-, aud comes from his nioulh somewha iu tht; style ol the hardshell Biip.i-t, wii, a long drawl, accompanied wituau intei polatinn of oui us. lu winter his head I etii ysed iii a lit I sli iped wool en sl.eil sj drawn tiboul his eiii.-, wbi.e his body Is con t illed Ultliln tin; eiui.i'aei.i o a V trl 1., Cllll 11 OM'I'I'oHt, are covered t.y rod. w u.l I i d i striking li s lice!?. II s leg leggiugs ot Ih.- ,n,e mati it ii. the kit ii v.t.iiis n.- ing. as tile kiic.-s wt.ii i i.i' ,,,,i He is as i'ljie t . lie Is li-fucii', an I ;.. h i.ncly its nay man you iver-aii. exi'i p P.-ti'soti Bi.i.vuiow, w i.i. is snd tn rival io-.-u t 1 1 1 1 ,' iiiaje-ly iu pel. -on, o appearance. There ule man, aiiec.lotes leialetl ol Om Jiiiinl, Out 1 caunut ai pre-el. t cni to mem ory but one. Daring t.iu battles in the Wi di I ness, on one ,iceusii;ii, a regiment from Small Carolina was ordered to charge lilt ilicmy, i'ur some reusou they fullered. Old Jubul hearing of it rode up to the heiul of tin- column, und in tnat peculiarity ol tone for which hu w as noted,-cried mil, "B!u-t you, you got us into this dam net scrape und liy God you shall help us out. The regiment was so cut by tue re nal r. that they i'll.-huil upon the foe, driving Liu from every position. Tnit.NDF.n ts FuBltCAHY. Meeting an old friend from West New bury, the oil.er day, he reminded Us ni an affair (hut happenetl there some veal's since, over w hich vve have clipivcd IliailV a heartv laugti together. A gentlemen residing in West N .vlieiry. huv nig int-.-ed a got d mnv sin ks irom his woodpile, his auspicious fell upon a well-to-do but miserly neighbor of his, whom lie thought capable of the act. He resolved accordingly, to resort to the old expedient, imt only in the centre, but in several minor crevices. Sure enough, tin- di-appearetl, and ouu looking very intieh like it "might have liein si-ell, " us James says, ou the kUs pia-ted gentlemen's hearth on the ensuing sundae. Before it, in a huge tiu kitchen, a turkey was browning itsell into a climux ' All nf a stublei:, a thundering expio'-ioii was hear. I, the tin ki'.ciieu was blown into a j thousand atoms, the dismembered turkey flew through the atmosphere, aud the old torn cut disappeared up tin' chimney. The ul'l gentleman and Ins inai. leu sister were ; lionioiy itii-vu, tan iii uiititii.ioy uijiiicu, ; .1 . 1 . . . - . I . . : :iu(l nil' luiiucr wns ine in -i in win uis von c. ' sister, saul lie, Hint tie was the loudest thiiii'le: I ever heard ill Feliruu.-v." Tliu next day, the plotter of tne mischief sent a tin poller to thu depredator' htui.se. "Want any tin ware! s.il'l Ihu UHKce. "No, no !" said the old gentlemen, testily, ('Why y,s you do," n-joined the puller; "y our memory must be ilivdtul short. .Must ull your neighbor say that you want a La l ilc.'uu." A pair of tongs tiew through the air, uml the till pedltr dodged u'nd uncle "flacks." Looking In the window, lie ex- 'cluimeil, "Better huv it now; Its a ftisl rale ' art if 1,-. warrant it lo stand moat unv- I'll male, uml all sorls of weather quakes dow n to thunder '."' Irom "uirth When the Vullandighani crowd began to show signs of deserting McClellan, the Worll thanked Cod lor a "dia. iithrullo l and regenerated Democracy." The Vaiiandig haiiliners ute all buck now so that accor ding to the Wurll't own testimony, ihe De mocracy is enthralled and degenerated. Tub Washington correal ondent ol the New York MiruU says: "It is staled Ihat Gen. Grant dislikes the f:hi, yon olatliirui and McClellau's letter of acceptance very much, and expresses hie, opinions freely on the subject. He is clear- j ly of the opinion that Lincoln should be re- ' elected- H is apparent thai he is gradually I becoming 'aluilili.mized'-i-by which is un derstood thai lit- is Iwgining In feel and act in coiiimou with the Washburm- cla-sof lie publicans. Twelve months have worked great apparent changes ia his aentiiueUM.' t Thb Bbt Gal. A chap was asked what kind of a -'uul'' he preferred for a wife -..one. ' he said, that won t be pnali gnlut fru-ge! - true 01., uiiud t- bis txinju ji UU- HUMOROUS MATTER. The local ri'purier of the Chicuo JJ. rold petpeituti d t he lulio'.vi ir, after hi.l it tiirn iioiu a summer vuesii iii, proi.ahlj : "As a ieiitli-uiiii was pu.-r.mg alnti I'lllh &l... t In T " P' ' -, ''. ii.an.le. clew iiittinira. v,io in '.(.eill, iu 11' n'l 1 11 i ii.-i rr, p,,t it i r. u r tie; ieiH teiiuiii nrleiiiuti sltped and sttimbli-d . , a!a". pa.-niiig, pieciiiiiatiii In r loot. 1 ne c.. chains! a lad along wuh hiiiiieli', up., n a niigu hop, who was evuiiining a gutter tteoliiKii-ally lor deb ris, 'l ue iii-;.. tn:iheii. i out ut his pmprie. t( ltol-.-d oil aud ia;i b.-lwcen the legs uf Kimtlu'r iitHtuan, wt-. in fidliiiu drew th string of hile Irom the bunds uf a boy. 'J in! kih; uf course lei', and ill '.ailing fright-eiu-d A pair of ui,rf allaehed lo a wagon in an lly. A iiia.i who wm iniii imo a ure in a carpenter simp by which they pa-se.1 surt ed up lo s;! wtiat was the matter, and in so lining dropped his lighted match among the s.iavinjja A tire was the oi, BMjUii.ce. The engines assi-tiililetl, and, in ilie hurry cniisi quuiifnl' the alurm, a man fed in tlm track of nn-j uf them, slid ha. I his arum broke, which ended this budget uf acci dents tor the ilay.'' Query Is the boy who shot the niarblu respousiLle for ull the cuuse qucnt (Unladen. Dr. Shendhal, who a;-ke( ihat il shou'd be inscri'ied on his tomb "ttW. rtmv m-ii." and who hu9 crj stullised the slutl of a Imn diC.I novels in hi inuxiius and ril'cetions j de l'tinur, made up hit mind finally that ;i 'woman is simply a ileln ioiis musical instru ment, of which love is the bn v and ma i tue an ist," It follows from tli.s simile, that, as a bad violinist will vers soon spoil the l ist I Creiuoine, tr is the men who are re.d.y. title? I all, responsible when the women get out of , time; a consideration north potulei ing, I alike by the Judges of Divorce Courts and ' by those who have ti desire to make their j acquaintance ! A Plank MovKvlfeNT. One of Sigel's sol diers gives the following account of a forag ing adventure he hud in Virginia. "Veil you sec, I goes doxiito (lit oid fellow's I. lace dat lias a bvec.li-orchurd, vere ve vus statlhi ilied, to sllieal some Leeches, ami ven 1 gets lo de vrout gate vat you dinks I see? 1 sect Here a pig puil-dog, ami he looks mighty savage. So 1 .links I fi'ighdciis him, and I says. -Look here Mr. Pull-dog. stan 'iocs. J light ou dis line ad sjininer." But le pull nog, lit don't cure for dal, so vlauks niiii. ' "II iw dii.1 you do that?" "Vy, I gocswuj itrounl, go as de pu'l ilog niil ln't see me. and veil 1 gets to de Lack gate vat you dink- 1 see? Vy dere I see dat -.tine old puil-dog! Sol vluuks liim again." "How tint yo . do tiutt f" "Vy, I goes vuy arouiit Huain, so S9 h5 jollldn't see me to sunder little beech orcll ird, ami veil I gets ileie vut you dinks I -ee? Vy dere vnl you dinks I seef Vy di re 1 see dat same old pull-. log! So I vlaiiks iiiii agin.'' "How did you do i hut ?'' "Vy. 1 says to dat oid pull-dovr. Look icre Mistir Pull-dog; I ilanks you dree li nes, und every dime I find you de same Id pul -dog. Tain your beei hesf My dime; is out next month ami de country may go ;o de devil lot beeckcj ; so 1 goes lo mv lent." Till. M.wksty ok thk Law. The other lay a Dutchman in Cincinnati was severely ihrashed by his "vrow," mid w hiie Miiarting under the iu'lietiun. lie complained to the .-lay or, and had his better halt arresled for the outrage, whereupon she was fined threo dollars an t the costs, but she not having; the money, tier husband was called upon to toik over. Upon which he " ipetied hU eves great surprise," exclaiming, "Vot for I P'iyf Shu vip uii !" The "statute" was explained to him and he paid, but an nounced ":!iat hereafter his wife might wal lop him as taticl as she pleased, but he would never again take steps to uphold the "majesty of the law." Not at Home. A worthy Hibernian, who was lal.oring under the delusion that men and women meant what they said., was tempted by a very cordial invitation from a lady of distinction to call at her house. The servant opened the door so quick that her voice was heard by Dr. M . Saying, "Tell him I am not at home I" 11. s Irish wit came to his rescue, for he immediately said in a loud voice to the darky, "Tell your mistress I have not culled upon her this evening as she w ished me." The lady ran out, took, the doctor by both hands, and laughed heartily at his ignorance of the greatest institution of respeg'.aljltf life ly- PuiDB. We have often heard a half grown up boy say pettishly to I is mother, 'I don't like to be St-t-il carrying a big bun dle through the streets.1' But trip- pride is a-haiiietl of such littleness of n i d. Mr. Astor, the wealthy millionaire of New York, was reluctant to sell some goods to a young ninn. except fur cash ; the merchant paid for lliem and took them on his shoulihr to carry tiiein nut of the store ; Mr. A-tor loon, cd in surprise, but before the merchant had gone many steps he called him back, saying, "You may buy on credit any amount, lean truat jou, sir. A man who is not ashamed to do his own work is sure to a cueed." Here is another lesson for false pride. Yoctdfcl S'vti.L: "Now, Chsrley, I your'r just in time for breakfast have a cup ! of collee i" Languid Swell : "Thanks, no! 1 I assure ysh iny dear feelah; If 1 were t. lake a cup i coiiee in me uioiuingii wouia keep me wke ail day." As Old Jew, who sold exclusively for lush. Mid that lie did it lor tile benefit of his neighbors. He did pot wilh to fee them "deep it! debt with tillU leu dev iah uo liionuh to pay nit." A Maidfslt QiF.svtoJ'.-Clara "Don't yon think it anomaly, Tom, your preparing to tight for juur hrarih and home, whilst you have not a vile !" Lt. Thb Ysnkets, it is ss'd, im apt to mind their p's and q; the Chinese their Ua. and cues, , X)st n.o.F of tin? rtbil ar' "given over to believe a lie," und the other to itll it. Tub Winsted Herald ys a farmtr i p in that reginn has so . ten curds of spi trte butt tn la-made into Lfitr-Auoit i ti. Just as gotwl. A Blust Bot.A. lady of somewhat ilif. nilied demeanor, having lost her way. ssid to an urchin in thu street. -Boy I Want to go to Dover street." Wt!l, inarm." replied t be hoy, coolly widkiog tut g9fU-u '-.to V 00, SM i
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers