THE HfcuotcD ta politics, Ciicmturc, griailtnrc,- S thine, iHoraliti), cut a ntcrcil intelligence VOL. U. STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA SEPTEMBER 14, 18S5. NO. m Published by Theodore Schoch. TERMS Two dollars .1 year in advance-and if no aid before the end of the ycaj, two dollars and fitly its. will bo charged. ., ., N paper discontinued until all arrearages nre paid, 'except at the option of the Editor. . C7"JUvertiscrnciits of one square of (eight lines) or UtToneor three insertions $1 50. Each additional "Uie'rtUn, 50 cents. Longer ones in proportion. JOB PRINTING, OF ALL KINDS, Sieeitei im the highest style of the Art, and onthe most rcusorriblc terms. Attempt to Shcot a Man in Court. There was a terrific flare up in Court at Williamsport, on Tuesday last. A soldier named Goldey, on his return home, not be ing satisfied with the appearance of his wife, charged her with infidelity, which ehe acknowledged. " He indicted a man named Sanford for fornication. While one of the counsel was arguing the case, Goldy approached Sanford, and suddenly snapped a pistol which missed fire, within a few inches of his head. The latter sprung to his feet and clinched Godly, when the pistol was fired. Goldy was at last thrown onthe j floor, but not until he fired his pistol the j third time. Fortunately no one was hurl, thniirrli nno inn n Imrl n hullpt nut inmiirrli . b ' , , : his coat ana ins snoui.ier si.gntiy scratched. , The room was crowded, and such of confu- aion and terror arc not often witnessed in a court of justice, yet some of them were cx-1 trcmcly ludicrous. The Judges dropped themselves like hot potatoes, behind there desks. Lawyers skedaddled over chairs and tables. The Phrothonatory, six footer es caped on his hands and knees. A number got out of the windows and others held up chairs as a shield. Aftcrjtho smoke and con fusion passed ofi; the prosecutor was sent to r,r., n,? tiio fiofiniiit wns rnnvir-.tof and ! fined bv the court. The Cristian Obscrver,one of the religious organs in Richmond, condemns a new juven ile singing book issued by the American Tract Soicety of New York, because it con tains a. song entitled the "Land of the Free," which commences as follows: My country, my country, I cherish thee still, Though many the ills that defile thee ; J I'll weep o'er thy woes, I'll pray for the weal, j And never, no, never revile thee." It describes the hymn as a "political song j concealed as it were among the hymns?, like ; n snake coiled up among flowers, which i will prevent its extensive circulatisn among lh Sabbath schools of the South." There is little hope of permanent peace and quiet in the South until such sentiments as arc here expressed are thoroughly eradicated The following letter was by a father to gnly. his son in college: "My dear Son I write j "I'll not stand here to be insulted ! to send you new stocks, which vour mother 1 Make off with yourself, or I'll call the po hae just knit by cutting down some of mine. ' Hcc ! I thought from the first that you . . , .;,y,nt ' was an entry thiet, but you don t play no Your mother sends you ten dollars without -. J . . ' . ,J , , j , J rrnino nn mr ! ' nnrl ho hnnirorf tnn ilnnr in my knowledge, and for fear you would not ; ipend it wisely, 1 have kept back nail, and only send you five. Your mother and I are lmrry (0 find the Smith's I should have well, except your sister has got the measles, given that rascally fellow a sound chasti which we think would spread among the , sing on the spot. other girls if Tom had not had them before j Inquiry elicited the fact that a John .ni,- ;e fi,o ni,nnn if T i,nno vnn will . Smith res'ulcd in Avch street. Thith- do honor to my teachings ; if you do not, you ere a donkey, and your mother and myself are your affectionate parents." Among the millitary prisoners confined in the Penitentiary at Richmond, awaiting trial for his crimes, is Dick Turner, known j "Yes sir," he cried in a voice of thun a the infamous and inhuman keeper of : der : Mr. Smith is in ! Yes, sir ; for once Libby Prison. He is confined in a cell 8 by he's in. He stayed at home all day on 12, seen by and seeing only the surgeon, who purpose to catch you ! and now, by Jupi ..: i.; a i,oi,i, i ter ! I'll have my revenge ! b uui justice luajf uui uu nituiw vut, ui due, The season of reflection afforded Tur- ner has operated very materially upon his , system From the weight of 1G5 pounds he ie reduced to a mere skelton. j Uncle John Morris wa.s a chronic toper, One day while returning from the tavern, he found locomotion impossible, and brought .. s f- ..' u up m iue corner oj a wuiu. - remained standing. . .. . 1 a few minutes, when the minister came long. "Uncle John," said he, " where do you suppose you will go when you come to die!" " If I can't go any better then I can now I shan't go anywhere," replied Uncle John. A " Farmer's Boy" advertises in a paper for a wife He says: He wants to know if she can milk And make his bread and butter; And go to meeting without silk, To make a show and splutter. He'd like to knew if it would hurt Her hand to take up stitches; Or sew the buttons on his shirts, Or make a pair of breeches. Father," said a rougish boy, " I hope you won't buy any more gunpowder tea for mother." " Why not!" " Because every time she drinks it, she blows us up. Go to bed, sir, immediately." An iriclimnn Rfifiinn- a work advertised entitled "Endless Amusement," remarked that it would be a cheap work to whoever could have long enough to reud it. THE SEAECH FOE JOHN SMITH. John Smith married my father's great uncle's eldest daughter, Melinda Byrne. Consequently I was a relative to John. John's family had often visited us at our quiet country home, and at each vis it had most cordially pressed us to return the compliment. Last October, business called me sud denly to the city of B , where our relatives resided, and without having time to write ana apprise them ot my com ing, I was intending a visit to the family of Mr. John Smith. With my accustomed carelessness, I had left his precise address at home in my note book : but I thought little of it-: I could easily find him, I thought to my self, as the cars set me down amid the smoke and bustle at B . I inquired for my relative of the first hackman I came across. He looked at me with an ill suppressed gnu. What was he laughing at ?' To be sure my clothes were not of the very latest cut, aud it is not just the tiling lor any one out of the army to wear bluej with bright buttons but my coat was ! wliilo nrfl flit. Ai,- 1f?ntr liorl cnnnrnfj J . the buttons with whitmug and soft soap untU they shonQ Hke g0,d lnv Question with di"-uitv I repeated "Can rou direct me to the residence of Mr. Smith ?' "Mr. S-tn.i-fc.h ?" he said slowly. "Yes, sir, 31 r. John Smith He mar ried my father's great uncle's daughter, Mcliuda." "I do not think I know a John Smith with a wife Melinda." John Smith seemed to be a common noun with a him, from the peculiar tone he used m speaking ol that individual ''Ah I" remarked I, "then there is more than one of that name in the city?" ''I rather think there is." kYery well, then. Direct mc to the . nearest." j i "The nearest is in West street. , oud left hand corner you'll see the name ( on the door." I I passed on, congratulating myself on i the cordial welcome I should receive from I John and Melinda. I soon reached the place a handsomel house with the name on a silver door plate I rang the bell a servant appeared. "Mr. Smith in ?" "No, sir ; Mr. Smith is in the armv." "Mrs. Smith is she ?" "In the army ? oh no she's at the beach." "This is Mr. John Smith's house, is it?" "It is." "Was his wife's name Mcliuda. and j was she a Byrne before she was married, from Squashville t The man reddened and responded an- and he banned the door in 4-L 111 S UU kuw j a th;ef j jf j ha(j not been in such er I bent my steps. A maid-servant auswered my rinr. "Mr. Smith in' Before the girl could reply, a big, red faced man jumped out of the shadows be hind the door, and laid his heavy hand upon my shoulder. "Sir," said I. "there must be some mis take. Allow me to inquire if you are Mr. John Smith ?" . f , . M j , g Uh jQ a way yQU wont rcish you don't settle the damage forthwith. Five thou- j an,i dollars is the very lowest figures and you must leave the country ! j "Uood gracious ! cried I, what do you take me for ? You'd better be careful, or vou'll get your head caved in ! : - ' r Wi :n fnr vm, vfm ' . IX VUIU jviA " J J J cried he, springing at me with his caue j f'Oh, John, dear John!" exclaimed a siirjH female voice, and a tall figure in a Eea of flounces bounced down the stair way. iOU i aou t : iur ui iuvu vi jicii ven, John don't murder him I" "Who the duece do you take mc for 1" l. .. I il. 1 C 1 cried I, my temper raising. "It looks well for you to ask that ques tion !" sneered the man "you, who have won my wife's heart, and are here now to plan to elope with her ! I've found it all out vou needn't blush, and " 'I beg your pardon lor interrupting vou, saia i : oui j. huvu uuvm cuuu vour wife before. 1 perceive sue is not Melinda, the eldest daughter of my fath- "Sir; do you deny that you are Wil liam Jones ? Bo you deny that you arc in love with my wife i "T am not a Jones I have not the honor, sir oil Rp.nrv lonur. 011. 1 iiuu.v im j arkwell of Squashville !" and with a ,ow I took myself off. bow After I had called at tne residences or three John Smiths none of which was mv Mr Smith and nothing occurred worthy of note My next Mr. Smith resided in Port - laud st. Thither I bent my steps. It was a very small house evidently not the home of wealth and cleanliness. I made my way up to the front door, through a wilderness of old rags, broken crockery, old tin-ware, etc., scattering a flock of hens, and rousing a snappish little terrier from his nap on the step. A red faced woman answered my rap, but before I could make my customary inquiry, she opened upon mc like a two edged butchers-knife. "Well, of all the imnudent rascals that ever I see, you beat the lot ! I want to Know it you nave got the cheek to come back here again t You'd like to sell me another Gorman silver tea-pot, and anoth- J er Drass nosom pm to dear Arainmty . wouldn't ye ?' "By no means," said I ; "I beg to in form you " "On, needn't beg ! We don't believe in beggars ! I s'pose you thought I shouldn't know ye but I did 1 I should know that black bag of yours in Califor ny ! Clear out of my premises, or I'll try my broom handle over ye ! If there is anything I hate, it's a pedler -especi- ally a rascal like you." "Allow me to inquire," said I, "if Mr, Smith's wife was Melinda Byrne, the el dest daughter of my father s The broomstick was lifted ; I heard it cut the air like a minnie bullet, aud sprang down the steps into the street at my best pace. Au angry man I do not fear; but who can stand before an angry woman ? I had rather face a roaring lion. I called on two more Smith's still un successful in my search. It was getting near dark, and I was more than anxious to reach my destination. My next Mr. Smith was located in Lenox street. It was twilight when I rang the bell at his door. A smiling fellow admitted mc, fairly forcing mc into the hall, belore I could utter a word. "Walk right in, sir ; they are expecting vou ! The ladies will be down m a uio- See-'ment, Miss Hattie is in the back parlor. Walk right m sir. I was gently pushed toward the door of a shadowy apartment, and at the en trance I was announced : "Mr. Henry !" . The gas was not lighted and the apart ment was iu semi-darkness. I heard a soft, quick footfall on the carpet, and a pair of arms fell arouud my neck, and a pair of the sweetest lips on the footstool touched mine : and, good gracious for a moment the world swam; aud I felt as if I had been stewed in honey, and distilled into Lubin's best triple extract of roses ! "Oh, Henry my dearest and best ! Why don't you kiss me Henry !" cried a voice like music, you "have ceased to care for me?" and again the kiss was repeated. Who could resist the temptatiou ? I am uaturally a diffident man, but I have some human nature in me, and I paid her principal aud interest. "Oh, Henry, I had so feared that being in the army had made you hard hearted heavens I She fell back a- gainst a chair pale as death. Ihe servant had lit the gas, and I stood revealed. "I beg your pardon, marm," said I, "there is evideutly some mistake. May I inquire if Mr. Smith's wife was Melin da Byrne, the eldest daughter of my fath er's great uncle ?" The red flush came to the young lady's cheek she was as handsome as a picture and she replied with courtesy : "She was not. You will, I hope, ex- cuse me lor the plunder 1 committed i We are expecting my brother Henry from the army, and your blue clothes deceived mc. "For which I shall always wear blue," E replied gallantly. "Allow me to intro duce myself I am Henry Parkwell, of Squashville! and in making my best bow, I stumbled backwards over an ottoman, and, fell smash into a china closet, de molishing at least a dozen plates, and aa many glass tumblers I sprang to my feet seized my bag, and without a word dashed out of the house. I knocked over a man who was passing at the moment, and landed myself on my head in the gutter. The man picked himself up, aud was about to make a dis nlav of muscles, when a glare of the street lamp revealed to mc the well-known face of my John Smith. "Eureka !" cried I. "Allow mc to in j quire if your wife was Me UnUa, the old est daughter of my father's great uncle Byrne ?" "She was said he, grasting my hand "and I am delighted to sec you ! Bu confound it ! you needn't have come at a fellow so !" But I must cut my story short. He took me home with him ; I had a good visit ; I saw Mcliuda to my heart's content, Nay more I met aud was prop erlv introduced to Hattie binith and well I am having a new suit of clothes made and in due time they will married .-"dcd I to myself iu them to the young lady In South America, small farmers arc wbnsn. lands do not extend over ' more than three square miles. Good land nan be bought for six cents an acre, and ,i . in some parts cattle are sold for less than ! two siver dollars a head. A stingy man inquired of a workman at his table if he knew how many cakes 1 bo had eaten. The latter was unable to 5 say. "Thirty-three," roared the miser Very well," said the workman "you count and I'll eat !" AnAlgerine wedding. Moorish ladies are usually married at or before the age of thirteen ; and I was informed of some curious particulars by an English lady who was present at one of these marriages, the family on both sides being of the lighest Moorish birth. The young lady was very lovely, and un der the age I have mentioned above. The company of ladies (headed by her mother) amounting in all to upward of sixty, among whom were my informant and a few French ladies, surrounded the bride, whose head, as usual, was wrapped in a sack, and led her, a. few hours after dark, to her future home, where they were received by the mother and female relations of the bridegroom. The poor child, weeping bitterly, was then undressed, carried by her attendants into a bed, where she was commanded to sleep for an hour or two while they ate their supper ! The liluropean ladies were served apart with coffee, cakes, and con fectionary ; while the Moorish ladies (some of them very beautiful) were closely seated iu a circle on a low cushion, and on their knees a long napkin which was a sort of low circular table which moved on a pivot, and on which the slaves placed a dish at a time, out of which each ladj took a mouthful with her fingers, and with a slight touch made the dish revolve to her next neighbor. The dishes succeeded one another to the number of more than twenty, when the whole was carried off, and at eleven a slight refreshment was taken to the bride, after which the ceremony of dress ing her commenced. Every lady present was requested to take some slight part in this important operation, and my English friend's consisted in plaiting one of an immense number of little tresses into which her long black hair was divided, with a diamoud trembling at the end of each. Her face was then enameled and a star of gold leaf fixed on each check, as well as on her chin and the tip of her nose. Hows of the finest pearls were hung round her neck, increasing in size until the lower row reached to her waist, and which were of the size of nuts. Her dress was of cloth of silver, with the u- sul muslin trowsers, and a sort of crown ot diamonds on her head. By two in the morning all was ready and the room prepared, when the finish- ng stroke was but to the whole by gum- ing down her eyes, which were not to be opened until the following moruiug when she might sec her husbaud, and not till hen. At two o'clock the slave introduced the bridegroom, a handsome youth of nineteen, dressed in a pale gray silk pro- usely ornamented with silver and dia monds. He took his place under a can opy, to which the bride was also guided by her mother and placed by his side. His mother then poured a few drops ot rose-water into the bride s hand, which the bridegroom drank ; and then her mother poured also a few drops into his hand and guided it to her daughter s mouth, and she drank itj upon which ther were pronounced man and wife, and the company immediately separated. National Nick-Names. The following are the nick-names of the different States, which we find in an exchange. The origin of many of them would be an entertaining study for tho curious matters : Maine, Foxes. New Hampshire, Gran ite Boys. Vermont, Green Mountain Boys. Masschusetts, Bay Staters, llhode Island, Guuflints. Connecticut, Wooden Nutmegs. New York, Knickerbockers. New Jersey, Clam Catchers. Pennsyl vania, Leathcrheads. Delaware, lilue ncu's Chickens. Maryland, Clam Thum pers. Virginia, Beagles. North Caroli na, Tar Boilers. South Carolina, Wea sels. Georgia, Buzzards. Louisiana, Pelicans. Alabama, Lizards. Kentucky Corncrackers. Ohio, Buckeyes. Mich igan, Wolverines. Indiana, lloosiers Illinois, Suckers. Missouri, Pukes. Arkansas, Toothpickers. Mississippi, Tadpoles. Florida, Fly-up-thc-Crceks, Wisconsin, Badgers. Iowa, Hawkeycs. California, Gold Hunters. Oregon, Hard Cases. Nevada, Sage Ileus. Kausas, Jay hawkers. Minnesota, Gophers. Tex as, Beef Heads, Nebraska, Bug Eaters. Railroad Waggery. Waggs went to the depot of one of our railroads the other evening, and fiuding the best car full, said in a loud tone : "Why, this car isn't going." Of course these words caused a gen eral stampede, and Waggs took the best s,cat. The cars soon moved off. Iu the midst of indignation, Waggs was ques tioned : "You said this car wasu't going ?" "Well, it wasn't then ; it is now." The "sold" laughed a little; but Waggs came rather near a good thrash ing. "Stuttering Ben," who was toasting his shius, observing that the oil merchant was cheating a customer in some oil, call ed out to him, "Jim, I can t-tcll you how t-to s-sell t-twice as much oil as you d-do now." Well, how ?" groaned Jim. "F fill your measure." Want to see Grant mighty bad do you?" said a blue coated veteran to the people who were crowding to the depot the oth er morning to get a squint at the famous general. "W-a-ll, why in thunder didn't you conie down to the lront when he want ed to see you, hey ?" Wanted a Printer. Wanted a printer, says a cotemporary, Wanted a mechanical curiosity, with a brain and fingers a thing that will set so were takiug a bank robber named Ro many type a day a machine that will'rubachcr, to Butler, Centre, to give e'vl think and act, but still a machine a be-' dence in the case against Pollard for tho ing who undertakes the most systematic .same offence. Hero is what hapneaed to' and monotomous drudgers, yet one that the ingenuity of man has never supplan ted mechanically that's a printer. A printer, yet for all his sometimes dissipated and reckless habits, a worker, at all times and hours, day aud night, ting up in a .close and unwhoh lolesorae of-1 hurrying to fVin lliinfpno lofAi. ofill wrlirtn flia otrnnf ' revelers are gone and the city sleeps, in revolver, then, and try your hand at thosa the fresh air of the morning, in the board : ducks." llorubacher took the weapon, and gushing sunlight, some printer is at j jumped out of tho little wagon, and swl his case, with his eternal and unvarying, vaucing towards tho ducks for about teS click ! click ! Click ! Click ! the polished types fall into the stick ; the mute integers are mar shaled into line, and march forth as immortal print. Click! and the latest j intelligence becomes old ; thought a prin- ciple ; simple idea a living sentiment. Click ! Click ! from grave to gay of scan dal, a graceful and glowing sentiment are in turn close by the mute and im pressive fingers of the machine, and set adrift in the sea of thought. He must not think of the future, nor recall the past ; must not think of home, of kind red, wife, nor of baby, his work lies be fore him, and thought is chained to his copy. You know him by his works, as your eyes rest upon those mute evidences of his ceaseless toil. Correspondents au thors and advisers, who scorn the simple medium of your fame, think not that he is iudiffcrent to the gem of which he is but the setter ; a subtle ray may penetrate the recesses of his brain, or the flowers he gathers may not leavo some of the fra grance upon his toil worn fingers. But when you seek a friend, companion, ad viser when you want Judges, Legisla tors, Governors and Presidents 0, ye people advertise : "Wanted A Printer." The True Kan. He is above a mean thing. He cannot stoop to a mean fraud. He invades no secrets in the keeping of another. He betrays no secrets confided to his keep ing. He never struts in borrowed plum age. He never takes selfish advantage of our mistakes. He never stabs in the dark. He is ashamed of inuendocs. He is not one thing to a man's face and an other behind his back. If by accident he comes iu possession of his neighbor's coun sels, he passes upon them an act of instant oblivion. He bears scaled packages with out tampering with the wax. Papers not meaut for his eye, whether they flut ter at the window or lie open gbefore him in unguarded exposure, are sacred to him. He encroaches on no privacy of others, however the sentry sleeps. Bolts and j bars, locks and keys, hedges and pickets, bonds and securities, notice to trespasses, are none of them for him. He may be trusted himself out of sight near the thinnest partition any where. He buys no office, he sells none, he intrigues for none. He would rather fail of his rights than win by dishonor. He will eat hon est bread. He insults no man. He tram ples on no sensitive feeling. If he have rebuke for another, he is straightforward, onen. manlv. Iu whatever he ludgcs I y honorable he practices toward every man s A Good 'Un. Some of the beverage dealers in this citv have the reputation of using very small glasses iu which they deal out their beer. The other day a returned soldier man called a for a drink at one of these places, and it was dealt out to him in a small glass. He asked the saloon keeper if he had a pocket handkerchief to lend him. Tho rag was handed over, and he deliberately tied one end of it to the han dle of the mug, and told the saloon keep er to hold the other end while he drank the beer. Very much surprised, he ask ed the soldier what he meant by such a straugc proceeding. "Nothiug," he ans wered, "only the glass was so small I was afraid of swallowing it." La Crosse (Wis.) Rcjnibltcan. A Venomous Serpent. M , who lives in the Mr. town adjoiuing one in Broome county, is very much in the habit of "drawing the long bow." One of his stories is as follows : "Did you ever see ouo of theso here hoop suakes?" "No," says his listener ; "I didn't think there was any such thing." "Oh, yes," says Mr M "I've seen one. iuo ana my nircu man vYi&;a nartford saloon keeper is the most exczu- Tr 1 1 t 1 down there in the homo lot, by the sltJ of the road, and we seen something roil ing down the hill, aud says I, 'I guess that are must be one of them hoopsnakes coming along.' My hired man he was afeared and cliin up a tree ; but I took my hoc in my hand, went out and stood Michigan, two hundred acres of peppermint side of a tree in the road, and when he 'growing for distillation. Half the land come along I stuck out tho handle, and cutivatcd for the same crop netted five thou ho hit it slap, and it made a noise jes Hke'sauu dolI(ira iast year hu CXpeCts to coin a a piSUU , m, Bit, i wa. u .ui a uiiu up as big as my leg !" f' ' j. 111 qui iy, mi. 11 uauu. iu ouu limn 1 j-i r 11 r ii - i ,i;c splendid field of potatoes so seriously dis - 1 -i ii fTi. eased, said a sympathizing specator. "Ah, well, it is a great pity," replied the former, "but there's some comfort Jack Thompson's is not a bit bettor." A Waggish. Prisoner; A few days ago in Buchauan county, lowa, a deputy shentt and two bailiffs the discomfiture of the officers At a certain point on their journey the party saw some wild ducks in a pond, and it was remarked to be a fine shot. The deputy hauled out his revolver, cocked, sit-.and was about to shoot when he said," "By the by Rorubacher, you are a good shot with the pistol, ain't you ?" "Of pniirao " Cfltn f?nrn C(rnl. 4 V. or twelve steps, then, suddenly wheeling; around and covering them with the pistol,, told the deputy aud his aids to get out of the wagon, and very quickly, as he in tended to take a ride by himself. Ima- they begau to crawl down out of the" wa gon, for the prisoner-witness had their: only pistol in his possession. Having got them safely into the road, and mount ing the buggy himself the facetious pri soner made the party a speech, aud their surrendered his advantage, declaring that he had no wish to use it, whioh ended the affair. A Rochester paper tells this story "Several weeks since, the ladies of the household of a prominent citizen, resid ing near Franklin Square, washed soma articles of lace; a lady's collar, Lice uudef slceves, etc., and hung them out to dry. Upon looking for them they could hot be found, and great conjecture was exci ted as to what bad become of them ; and it was finally concluded, as the most reas onable solution of the problem, that they were stolen. A day or two since, au en terprising youngster of the family climb ed a tree in the yard to explore the con tents of a nest that a pair of robbing had been building there. He found it oc cupied by a brood of young fledglings, and - under them he found the missing lace. The parent birds had seen it, cov eted and appropriated it as a bed for their young. One of the articles was so largo and heavy that it must have required tho united strength of the pair to convey is to the site for the nest." "What did you come here after ?" in quired Miss Susan Draper of a bachelor' friend who made her a call wuen the rest of the family had gone out. "1 came to borrow some matches, ho replied." "Matches ! That's a likely story ! Why don't you make a match ? I knotf what you came for, exclaimed the deligh ted Miss, as she crowded the bachelor in to a corner, "you came to kiss and hug me almost to death, but you shan't do it unless you are the strongest and the Lord knows yon are. A Confederate soldier who had fbugh fairly and s'quarely throughout the late war, when he was startled with the intelli gence of the scrrender of the three armies' of Lee, J ohnstou and Taylor, "jroke up to' a "realizing sense" of the stupendouanesa of the failure. His surprise broke forth in the exclamation, "D n tho thing, ifc didu't even flicker, but went right 011V'. "Come till America, Pat I" writes a sou of the Emerald Isle, to his friends in Ire land ; "'tis a fine couutry to get a livin in. All ye have to do, ia to get a three cornered box, and fill it wid brichs and carry it till the top of a four story build ing, and the man at the top does all tho work 1" That was a wicked boy who, wheri he was told that the best cure fcT tho palpitation of the heart was to quit iiaa ing the girta, said : "If that is the cnljr remedy for palpitation, let her, palp I" In New England there are 2,428 estab lishments for the manufacture of bootg and shoes, wiith a capital of $10,977,113. They employ 52,007 male hands, and 22,282 female. A man boasted of having eaten forty nine hard boiled eggs. "Why did yoa not eat one more and make fifty ?" asks Sounds. "Humph, do you want a man to make a hog of himself just for ona egg ?" Of all the specimens of German American orthography that ever eaw the light, that of 1 ciatfn He has "painted him a sign," and it reads, "TJoshdevele No-drushd." Pwi tively no trust. Mr. Van Auken has at Ada and Lyons,- - pcMnint 0f money Qut of U A well-known courtesan of St. Louis,' has just fallen heir to $75,000 left her by ii: n 1 ar c n i, -t - T . a relative, Col. May of Brooklyn N. Y. ' ' J , ' 1 . ' , . 1 1 his amount ot money will, nlaster in tha " i,l,lss"-r 111 WJU estimation of some people, plaster over the blotches upon her reputation, and restore her to respectability. Great is mammoq,'
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers