HENRY A. PARSONS, Je., Editob and Publisher, ELK COUNTY TJZE REPUBLICAN PARTY. Two Dollars tee Ashum: '" 1 -I-- II. . , I. ., , ,- . .... . . ,, .III I " ' -LI. ., . , . .. . ... -- I .1 I I ' VOL. I. IlIDGWAY, PA., THURSDAY, JANUARY 11, 1872. NO. 45. Ridiculous Story of Mrs. Bjrdc. The funniest story I ever heard, The funniest thlnir that ever occurred, Is the story of Mrs. Mehltable Byrde, Who war ted to be a Mason. Ilcr husband, Tom Byrde, if a Mason true, As good a MtiBon as any of yon ; He Is Tyler of Lodge Cerulean Blue, And tyles and delivers the summons due, And Bhe wanted to be a Maon too ; This ridiculous Mis. Byrde. 8he followed him 'ronnd, this inquisitive wife, And nagged him and teased him half out of his life ; So, to terminate this nnhallowed strife He consented at last to admit her. And first, to disguise her from bonnet and shoon, The ridiculous lady agreed to put on Ills breech ah I forgive me ; I meant pana loont ; And miraculously did they lit her. The Lodge was at work on the Master's de gree, Tbe light was ablaze In the letter G ; High soared the pillars J. and B. . The officers tat like Solomon, wise, The brimstone burned midst horrid cries ; The goat roamed wildly through the room, The candidate begged 'em to let him go home, And the devil himself stood up In the east As proud as an alderman at a feast ; When in camo Mrs. Byrde. Ob I horrible sounds I Oh I horrlblo sight ! Can it be that Masons take delight In spending thus the hours of night T Ah 1 could their wives and daughters know Tbe unutterable things they say and do, Their feminine hearts would burst with woe But this is not all my story. . For those Masons joined in a hideous ring, Tbe candidate howiing like everything, Aud thus in toues of death they sing Tbe candidate's name was Morey " Blood to drink, and bones to crack, Skulls to smash, and lives to take, Hearts to crush, and souls to burn ; (iive old Morey another turn, And make him all grim and gory." Trembling with horror stood Mrs. Byrde, Unable to speak a single word ; She staggered and fell, in the nearest chair On the left of the Junior Warden there, Aud scarcely noticed so loud the groans, Tbe chair was made of human bones t Of human bones 1 on grinning skulls That ghastly throne ol horror rolls ; Those skulls, the skulls that Morgan bore, Those bones, the bones that Morgan wore, His scalp across the top was flung, His teeth around the arms were strung Never, in all romance, was known Such uses made of human bones. The brimstone gleamed in lurid flame Just like a place wo will not name ; (iood angels, that inquiring came, From blissful courts looked on with ebunio And tearful melancholy. Again they dance, but twice as bud, They jump and sing like demons mad, The tune is Hunkey-Dorey " Blood to drink," &c, &c. Then dame a pause a pair of paws Reached through the floor, upsliding doors, And grabbed the unhappy candidate. How can 1, without tears, relate Tbe lost and ruined Morey's fate ? She saw him sink in fiery hole, Sue heard him scream "my soul I my soul !" Willie roars of fiendish laughter roll Aud drown the yells of Morey ; ' Blood to drink," &c., &c. The ridiculous woman could stand no more, She fainted, and fell on the floor 'Midst all the diabolical roar. What then, you usk me, did befall Mehltable Byrde f Why, nothing at all ! She dreamed that she'd been In the Mason's hall. Masonic Jewel. THE SIGHT EXPRESS. A bitter December midnight, aud tbe up-express pautiog through its ten min utes rest at Rugby. What with passen gers just arriving, and passengers just departing ; what with the friends whs came to see the last of tbe departing passengers, or ti meet tbe arriving ones, tbe platform was fall enough, I can as sure you ; and I bad some difficulty in making my way from carriage to car riage, even though I generally find that people (almost unconsciously perhaps,) move aside for the guard when they see him walking up or down close to the carriage door;. This difficulty was in creased, too, by tbe manoeuvres of my companion, a London detective, who bad joined me to give himself a better opportunity of examining tbe passen gers. Keenly be did it, too, in that seemingly careless way of big ; and, while be appeared only an idle, loung ing acquaintance of my own, I knew that under bis unsuspected scrutiny it was next to impossible for tbe thieves bo was seeking to escape even in ham pers. I didn't trouble myself to help him, for I knew it wasn't necessary ; yet I wag as anxious as hundreds of others were that those practiced thieves, whom the police had been hunting for tbe last two days, bould be caught as tbey de served. Bometim.es we cams upon a group which my companion could not take in at a glance, and then he always found himself unusually cold, and stopped to Btamp a little life into bis petrified feet. Of course for me this enforced standing was the signal for an attack of that per sistent questioning with which railway guards are familiar ; and, in attending to polite questioners who deserved an swering, and unpolite ones who insisted on it, 1 bad not much time for looking about me ; but presently I did catch myself watching a girl who stood alone at some distance. A girl very pretty and pleasant to look upon, I thought, though her face, and her dress, and ber attitude were all sad. She stood just at the door of the booking-office ; a tall, slight girl, in deep mourning, with a quantity of bright, fair bair, plaited high upon ber bead, aa well as banging loosely on ber shoulders, with a child ishly innocent face, and pretty, bewil dered eyes. I wished I could have gone straight to her, and put ber into one the most comfortable of tbe line of carriagf s at which she gazed so timidly. Just as I hesitated, a very remarkable figure elbowed its way to me ; a stout, grandly-dressed old lady, panting pain fully, and almost piercing me with a pair of restless, half-opened eyes, .that looked out through tbe gold-rimmed spectacles perched on ber sharp nose. Two porters followed ber, laden with bags, cloaks, umbrellas and flowers the only flowers in the station, I expect tbat winter night and one of the men wink ed at me over her head, while the other guarded her treasures with a face of con centrated anxiety, and thoughts en grossed by possible feet. "This is the London train, is it, ga'ad ?" she asked, peering sharply in to my face with herhalf-closed eyes, as if she found it difficult to distinguish me even through her spectacles. From ber whole attitude I guessed her to be deaf, but 1 never guessed hote deaf until, after yelling niy answer so loud that the engine-driver must have beard it eighteen carriages off, she Btill remain ed Btonily waiting for it. " Deaf as a dozen posts," said the de tective, aloud, Riving the old lady an expressive little nod in the direction of the train. " Slow train t" she asked, in tbat plaintive tone which the very deaf often use. Mail 1" . I shouted, putting my mouth as close to her cheek as I tancied she would like. " Ale 1" she Bbrieked back at me, the spectacles shaking a little on her thin nose. " Why should you want ale for listening to civil questions that you are paid to answer ? Ale, indeed f I be lieve railway men think of nothing else." Then she shook ber head angrily and waddled off, looking as acid an old party as I should ever try to avoid. In at every door she peered through her glit tering glasses, the two porters following her, until she made a Btop before an empty second-class carriage near my van, and with much labor and assist ance got herself and ber packages into it. Wbon I passed, a few minutes after ward, she was standing in the doorway, effectually barring the door to any other passenger by her own unattractive ap pearance there, and prolonging with an evident relish the anxiety of the obse quious porters. I fancy that though the purse she fumbled in was large, ttie coin she wanted was but small, for I passed on and left her still searching and still asking questions of the men, but bearing nothing either of their re plies or of the loud asides in which they indulged to each other. I had reached the other end of the train, and was just about making my way back to my own vau, .when the young lady I bad before noticed went slowly in front of mo to ward the empty first-class compartment near which I stood. " Am I right for Enston ?" she asked me gently, r.s she hesitated at the door. " All right, Miss," I said, taking the door from her, ei.d standing while the got in. ' Any loggage ?" For from that very moment 1 took ber in a sort of way into my charge because she was so thoroughly alone, you see, not having any friends there even to see ber off. "No luggage, thank you," she an swered, putting her little leather satchtl down beside her ou the seat, and Bat tling herself in the corner furthest from the open door. " Do we Btop anywhere between here and London ?" "Don't stop r.gain, Miss, except for a few minutes to take tickets." Then I looked at ber as much as to say, " You'ro all right, because I'm the guard," and shut the door. I suppose that, without exactly being aware of it, I kept a sort of watch over this carriage, for I saw plainly enough a lazy young gentleman, who persistently kept havering about it and looking in. His inquisitive eyes bad of course caught Bight of tbe pretty face in there alone, and I could see that be was making up bis mind to join her ; but he seemed do ing it in a most careless and languid manner. He was no gentleman lor that reason, I said to myself, yet his dress was handsome, and the band that played with bis long, dark beard was small and fashionably gloved. Glancing still into the fur corner of tbat one first class apartment, he lingered until the last moment was come ; then, quite leisurely, he walked up to the door, opened it, entered the carriage, and in an instant the door was banged to be hind bim. Without the least hesitation I went up to the window, and stood near it while the lamp was fitted in the com partment. The gentleman was standing up within, drawing on a dark overcoat ; that young lady in the distant corner was looking from the window as if even the half darkness was better to look at than this companion. Mortified a good deal at the failure of my scheme for ber comfort, I weut on to my van, beside which the detective waited for me. " No go, you see," be muttered crossly, " and yet it seemed to me so likely that they'd take this train." . " I don't see bow it should seem like ly," I answered, for I hadn't gone with bim in the idea. " It doesn't seem to me very likely that three such skillful thieves as you are dodging, who did their work in this neighborhood bo cleverly two nights ago, should leave the station any night by the very train which the Police watch with double suspicion." " Doesn't it ?" be echoed, with a most satirical knowingness. "Perhaps you haven't yet got it quite clear in your mind bow they will leave the town ; for it's sure enough tbat tbey haven't left it up to now. That they'll be in a hurry to leave it is sure enough, too, for this isn't the sort of place they'll care to hide in longer than necessary. Well, what's the hardest place for us t track them in? London. And what's the easiest place for them to get on sea from? London. Then naturally enough to London they'll want to go. Isn't this a fast train, and shouldn't you choose a fast train if you were running away from the Police ?" I didn't tell bim what sort of a train I should choose, because I hadn't quite made up in my mind ; and be was look ing cross enough for anything in that last glimpse I caught of bim. Having nothing better to do, I won dered a good deal bow these thieves could arrange their getting away while the walls were covered with the descrip tion of them, and every official on the line was up in it There was no doubt about their being three very dexterous knaves, but then our detective force was very dexterous, too, though tbey weren't knaves, (and I do believe the greater dexterity is generally on the knavish side,) and so it was odd that the descrip tion still was ineffective and the offered reward unclaimed. I read over again the bill in my pocket which described the robbers. "Edward Capron, alias Captain Winter, alias John Pearson, alias Dr. Crow ; a thickset, active man, of middle height, and about fifty years of age ; with thick iron-gray hair and whiskers, dark gray eyes and an aquiline nose. Mary Capron, bis wife, a tall woman of forty ; with a handsome, fair face, a quantity of very red bair, and a cut across ber under lip. Edward Capron, their son, a slightly built youth of not more than fifteen or sixteen," (though, for the matter of that, I thought be might have had cunning enough for twice his age,) -"'with closely out black hair, light gray eyes, and delicate fea tures." We all knew this description well enough, and for two days had kept our eyes open, hoping to identify them among tbe passengers. But our scrutiny had been all iu vain ; and as the traiu rushed on, I felt how disappointed the Police at Euston would bo when we ar rived again without even tidings of them. I was soon tired of this subject, and went back to worrying myself about tbe sad-looking, yellow-haired girl, who had so evidently wished to travel alone, and had been so successfully foiled in tbe at tempt by that intrusive fop with the handsome beard. Foolishly I kept on thinking of her, until as we were dash ing almost like lightning through the wind and darkness, only fifteen or twenty minutes from Chalk Farm, tho bell in my van rang out with a sharp and sudden summons. I never wondered for a moment who had pulled the cord. Instinctively I knew, and it was the carriage furthest from my van ! I left my place almost breathlessly as the en gine slackened speed, and hastening along the footboard, hesitated at no win dow until I reached the one from which I felt quite sure that a frightened young face would be looking out. My heart literally beat in dread as I stopped, and looked into tbe carriage. What did I seer1 Only the two passengers buried in their separate corners. The young lady raised her bead from the book she held, and looked up a.t me astonished childishly and wonderingly astonished. " lias anything happened to the train ?'.' Bhe asked timidly. The gentleman roused himself leisure ly from a seemingly snag nap. " What ou earth has stopped us in this hole ?" ho suid, riding, and pushing his hand some face and bis long beard past me at the window. It was only too evident that the alarm had not been given from this carriage ; yet the feeling had been such a certainty to me that it was lotg before I felt quite convinced to the contrary ; aud I went on along the foot-board to otker car riages very much more slowly than I.had gone first to that one. Utter darkness surrounded us outside, but from the lumplit compartments eager beads were thrust, searching for tbe reason of this unexpected stoppage. No one owned to having summoned me until I reached that second-class carriage near my own van, (which I bad hastened past before), where tbe fidgety, deaf old lady who had amused mo at Rugby eat alone. I had no need to look in and question her. Her bead was quite out of the window, and, though she had ber back to the light and I couldn't see ber face, her voice was cool enough to show that ehe was not overpowered by fear. " What a time you've been coming," she said. " Where is it ?" "Whare's what?" But though I yelled the question with all my might and main, I believe I might just as hopefully have questioned the telegraph post which stood beside ns, and have expected an answer along the wire3. " Where's the small luncheon beslcet ?" sho inquired, pulling out ber long purse with great fussiness. "A small luncheon basket, my good man, and make baste I" Shall I ever forget the sharp expectan cy of the old lady's eyes as they looked into mine, first over, then under, then through ber glittering, gold-rimmed spectacles? What surprised me most particularly was the fact of her decidedly not being, as any one might suppose, a raving lunatic. ' Be quick with tbe small luncheon basket, please," she said, resignedly sit ting down, and pouring the contents of her purse out into her lap ; "I'm as hun gry as I can bo." I suppose that when she looked up at me from tbe silver Bhe was counting, she saw my utter bewilderment. I didn't try now to make her hear, for I knew it to be hopeless for she raised ber voice suddenly to a shrill pitch of peevishness, and pointed with one shaking hand to the wall of tbe carriage. " Look there 1 Doesn't it say ' Small luncheon baskets. Pull down the cord.' I want a small luncheon basket, so I pulled down the cord. Make haste and get it me, or I'll report you to the man ager." Seeing now tbat she was almost as blind as she was deaf, I began to under stand what she meant. On the spot to which she pointed above tbe seat oppo site her two papers were posted in a line ; one the advertisement of " Small lunch eon baskets" supplied at Rugby, the other, the company's directions for sum moning the guard and stopping the train in cases of danger. As they hap pened to be placed, tbe large letters did read as she had said : " Shall Luncheon Baskets. Pull down the Coed." While I was gazing from ber to the bills, getting over a bit of my astonish ment, and she was giving me every now and then a sharp touch on the shoulder to recall me to my duty and hasten me with ber refreshment, we were joined by one of tbe directors, who happened to be going up to town by the express. But bis just and natural wrath loud as it wat never moved the hungry old lady, no, not in the slightest degree. She nev er heard one word of it, and only mildly insisted, in the midst of it, tbat she was almost tired of waiting for her small luncheon basket With a fierce parting sbot, the director tried to make her understand that she bad incurred a penalty of five pounds, but he couldn't, though he bawled it at her until the poor old thing perhaps mortified at having taken so much trou ble for nothing; perhops overcome by her hunger ; perhaps frightened at the commotion she saw though didn't hear sank back in her seat in a strong fit of hysterics, and let the shillings and six pences roll out of her lap and settlo un der tho seats. It seemed to me a long time before we started on again, but I suppose it was only a six or seven minutes' delay after all. I expect I should have waited to explain the stoppage to the pretty young girl of whom I considered myself a sort of protegtor ; but,, as I said, she was at the very opposite end of the train, and I was in haste now. There must have been a good laugh in several of the car riages where the cause of our stoppage fot whispered about. As for me, when got back into my van, solitary as it was, I chuckled over it until we stopped at Chalk Farm to take tickets. It seemed to me that the train was taken into custody as soon as it stopped here. "Of course you have the carriage doors all locked, and I'll go down with you while you open them one by one. My men are in possession of the platform." This was said to me by Davis, a detec tive officer whom I knew pretty well now, having had a good bit to do with bim about this Warwickshire robbery. " It is no use," I said, before we start ed, " the train was searched, as you may Bay, at Rugby. Every passenger has un dergone a close scrutiny, I can tell you. What causes such scientific preparation for us here." "A telegram received ten minutes ago," be answered. " It seems that two of the thieves we are dodging are in this train in clever disguises. We have had pretty full particulars, though the dis covery wasn't made until after you left tho junction. Have you noticed" he dropped bis voice a little here " a young lady and gentleman together in either carriage ?" I felt a bit of an odd catching in my breath as he spoke. ' No," I said, quite in a hurry. " No young lady and gen tleman belonging together; but there may be plenty in the train. What if there are, though ? There was no young lady or gentleman among the robbers ?" "Among the robbers," rejoined Davis, with suppressed enjoyment, " was a wo man who'd make herself into anything ; aud you must own that a gentleman with a dark, long beard isn't bad for a lady known to us pretty well by her thick red hair and a cut ou her upper lip." "But the young lady?" I asked, co gitating this. "Ah ! the young lady. True enough; well, what should you say now, if 1 told you she grew out of that boy with the closely-cut, dark hair that we are af ter!" I remembered the pretty plaits and tbe loose, falling hair. 1 remembered tbe bewilderment in the eyes which en tirely hid their natural expression, and I didn't answer this at all. " I wish I had as good a chance of catching the oli fellow as I have of catching the woman and the boy," con tinued Davis, as we moved slowly past the locked luggage van. " I know they're here, and that I shall recognize them un der any disguise ; but we've no clue yet to the older rascal. It's most aggrava ting that, by some means, we've lost sight of the biggest rogue of all. Come along." I did come along, feeling very stupid ly glad that there was all the train to search before we could reach that car riage at tbe other end where sat the girl whom I bad, in a way, taken under my protection. " When are we to be allowed to leave this train, pray ? Call me a cab," cried the deaf old lady, plaintively, as we reached her carriage, and found her gaz ing out in most evident and utter ignor ance of all that was going on around her. " I am locked iu, ga'ad. Do you hear?" I beard ; aye, sharp enough. I only wished she could hear me as readily. Davis stood aside watching while I un locked ber door and helped her down. Then, seeing her helplessness, and her countless packages, he beckoned a por ter to ber, winking expressively to call bis attention to a probable shilling. Carriage after carriage we examined ; and though Davis detected no thief, he turned away only more and more hope fully from each. He was so sure they were there, and that escape was impossi ble. We reached the last carriage in the line, and now my heart beat in the oddest manner possible. " Is this compartment empty, then ?" asked Davis, while my fingers were ac tually shaking as I put my key in the door of the centre one. " Empty and dark?" " Even if it had been empty it wouldn't have been left dark," I muttered, looking in. " Hallo ! what's come to the lamp r" I might well ask what was come to the lamp, for tbe compartment was as dark as if it had never been lighted ; yet bad not I myself stood and watched the lighted lamp put in it at Eugby? And the carriage was empty, too ! " Why was this ?" asked tbe detective, turning sharply upon me. " Why was not the lamp lighted ?" But the lamp teat lighted, and burn ing now as sensibly as tbe others if we could but have seen it. As we soon dis covered, the glass was covered by a kind of tarpaulin, intensely black and strong ly adhesive, and the carriage was as completely dark as if no lamp bad been there at alL The perplexity in Davis' face was as great as my own, when I told him who bad travelled here. u They couldn't have left the train here, at any rate," be Baid ; and 1 knew that as well as he did. But you have guessed the end. Dur ing those few minutes that we stopped on the line, tbe two thieves darkening the lamp even after I bad left them, and using their own key bad left the car riage under cover of the darkness ; man aging their escape in their black dresses out into the blackness of the night ss cleverly as they had managed their theft and subsequent concealment. But how could they have depended on this unusual delay this exquisite opportun ity given them in the utter darkness, close to the city, yet at no station? When I officially made my deposition, and explained the cause of our stoppage, something of the truth seemed to break upon us all ; but it wasn't for a good while that it settled into a certainty. Then it got clear to everybody that the older scoundrel had duped us more in geniously than the younger ones. As the incapable old lady (deaf as a stone, trad so blind that she had to peer through ber glittering glasses, with eyes always half-closed, and so hungry that she had to stop the train for a luncheon-basket) he had played upon us the neatest trick of all. Where on earth were the thick iron-gray hair and whiskers by which we were to have identified bim ? But by the time the police saw the whole thing clearly it was too late to follow up any clue to him. The cab which had taken the eccen trio old lady and her parcels and flowers from EuBton was lost; in the city, and could not be tracked. A high reward was offered for information, but no one ever won it. My firm belief is that it was no legitimately licensed cab at all, but one belonging to the gang, and part of tbe finished fraud. I verily believe, too, that sometimes now though per haps on the other side of the channel those three practiced knaves enjoy a hearty laugh over tbat December jour ney by night-express. Davis still assures me, with the most cheerful confidence, that be shall yet have the pleasure some day of trapping three of the most expert and ekihful thieves in Britain. I wish I felt as sure of it. The Argosy. The Empire of Japan With its forty millions of inhabitants, has recently been the scene of a blood less but radical revolution. For cen turies past the provinces of the empire have been ruled by feudal princes, know as Daiinioe, descendants of petty kings, who ence maintained independent sovereignty. These Daimios, like tbe feudal nobility of mediroval France, always Beized opportunities to weaken the power of the reigning sovereign, and raise themselves to the dignity of in dependence. In 1549, when Xavier visited Japan, he found the princes of Bungo, Avima, and Pxuma maintaining regal state and authority. The record of the struggles during tbe fourteenth and fifteenth centuries between the sovereign and his nobles, must remind the historical reader of the continual conflicts between tho monarchs of France and the princes of Burgundy, Cham pagne, and Aujou. The work of ter ritorial unity was commenced in France, in the fifteenth century, by tbe cunning Louis XL, and was begun in Japan, iu the sixteenth cntury, by Taiko Same, tbe Napoleon Bonaparte of Eastern Asia. Having raised himself, amid the turbulence of civil war, to imperial power, Taiko determined to weaken the authority of the Daimios, many of whom had thrown off their allegiance. With this end, he increased their num ber from sixty to several hundred. This policy, carried out by his successors, ended in establishing C04 independent principalities and lordships. To the Daimios the present Mikado owes the enjoyment of imperial power, which be only possessed in name before the overthrow cf the late Tycoon. Within the past few years, civilization has made more rapid strides in Japan than in any country of the East, and tbe Mikado, in centralizing the national authority, doubtless aims to place his country on an equal footing with the great centralized umpires of tbe West Tbe decree ordering tbe princes to sur render their sovereignties was no doubt bailed with satisfaction by the great multitude of the Mikado's subjects, for petty governments are usually oppres sive. Japan, as an enlightened and well-governed empire, now takes the front rank among the independent powers of Asia. As in the Sandwich Is lands, foreign enterprise and immi gration, instead of threatening, will secure ber independence. With its gold mines, its silk groves, and its tea, the island empire is conveniently situated for intercourse with the United States, and unless the whole empire be devoured by tbe Russian bear, which has already commenced on it piecemeal, an impor tant commercial interest may be built up between the two nations. Kerosene. Dr. James R. Nichols, the well-known chemist, in bis new work, " Fireside Science," says in substance of the fire fiend, kerosene : Kerosene is not explosive ; a lighted taper may be thrust into it, or flame ap plied to it, with perfect safety. Acci dents from kerosene occur from two causes : imperfect manufacture and adul teration. Naptha is volatile, inflamma ble and dangerous, and with imperfect distillation of kerosene some naptha re mains, and further, unprincipled dealers add naptha to kerosene. But even nap tha is not explosive ; to render it or the vapor that rises from it explosive it must be mixed with air, and this is the great secret of the terrible accidents now so frequent. A lamp full, or nearly full, is comparatively safe. In using impure oil, above the line of oil is inexplosive vapor (not gas), and as long as it is warm and quiet no air can reach the oil; but when the lamp cools the vapor con denses, and a vacuum is farmed which is instantly filled with air, and the mix ture is more or less explosive. Let the lamp be suddenly shaken and an explo sion is probable ; or let an unreplenish ed lamp be lighted, and'there is similar danger. Cola air striking a partially filled lamp will condense the vapor, air will rush in, and there will be an explo sion. So much for impure kerosene. Moral, buy of responsible parties, and always keep your lamps well filled. " The whole hazard oomes from air-mixed vapor." Court Anecdotes. The tedious session cf the Supreme Court at Pittsfield was relieved by an incident, one day recently, that drew a little smile. A leading member of the bar, rather noted for his strategy cf confusing witnesses by working them in to a passion, bad under cross-examination a woman who seemed an apt sub ject for his favorite tactics. Having wound her up to tho desired pitch, he inquired : ' Madam, are you now liv ing with your first or second husband ?" " That's none your business I" sharp and short. With an air of offended dignity, the attorney turned to Chief Justice Brigham, who remarked, with a smile.: " I think the witness is about right in that, is she not ?" Which reminds the older members of the bar of a similar misadventure that a still more distinguished member of the Berkshire bar once met at the hands of Chief Justice Shaw. " Where did you get the money with which you made the purchase spoken of ?" asked the " learn ed brother" of a witness under tbe tor tures of cross-examination. " None of your (gentle expletive) business !" thun dered the victim. " 1 ow, may it please you, are counsel to be insulted in this manner ?" appealed the lawyer. " Wit ness," said the Chief Justice, compas sionately, " do you wish to change your last answer ?" " No, sir, I don't 1" " Well, I wouldn't if I were in your place I" And the chuckle that Bhook the bench was audibly echoed. She Overdid It. It is easy to overdo a very good thing, and the " slip" between the " cup and the lip" is so readily found. A mechan ic, rejoicing in the natuo of Dubois, And a resident of the city of Detroit, took to drinking, and was speedily trans formed from a hard workingraan into a drunken sot. His good wife scoldsd, en treated, diminished the thickness of his beard without the use a razor, but could make no change. One night Dubois ar rived home and found that his wife and his coat had changed places the latter lay on the floor, and the former was sus pended from tha hook. Up rushed Du bois to the rescue, took his wife down, aud after much labor brought her to her senses. The attempt at suicide completely so bered him, and, like Obadiah Oldbuck, he turned over a new leaf. He pro mised never to drink again, and probab ly would have kept his word if his wife had been able to keep ber own counsel But she was jui-t smart enough to in form several of her neighbors that the apparent hanging was a put-up job, tbe rope being tied under ber arms. Tho knowledge of this little practical joke coming to the ears of Dubois, he first thrashed the whole family, then perform ed some extraordinary feats of furniture smashing, and finally left tho premises, and has not been seen eince Jefferson's Liking for Iudluiis. That liking for Indians which we ob serve in the writings of Jefferson resulted from bis early acquaintance with some of the best of the uncorrupted chiefs who used to visit and stay with bis fath er on their journeja to and from the capital of Virginia. Tho Indians held his father in that entire respect which they were apt to feel for men who never feared and never deceived them. One of the most vivid recollections of his boy hood was of a famous chief of the Chero kees, named Ontassete, who went to England on behalf of bis people. Tho boy was in the camp of this chief, the evening before his departure for Eng land, and heard bim deliver bis farewell oration to his tribe a scene that be used to describe with animation seventy years after its occurrence. Tbe moon was iu full splendor that evening, and it seemed as if it was to that lustrous orb the iin- Eassioned orator addressed prayers for is own safety and tbe protection of his people during bis absonoe. The power ful voice of the speaker, his distinct ar ticulation, bis animated gestures, and the silence of the listening Indians sit ting motionless in groups by their sev eral fires, filled bim with awe and vener ation, although he did not understand a word that was spoken. James Parton. The World to Stop In 18"3. The Second Adventists are at it again. At a convention held in Rochester, they have definitely settled the time for the total destruction of tbe world. It is to take place in 1873. Dr. Barbour, who has prepared sever al charts from which he has lectured ex tensively of late, from Boston to Roches ter, on tbe coming of Christ in 1873, made a speech on tbe signs of the times, and cited articles in the London Quar terly, the Edinburgh Review, Blaclwood't, and several American magazines, quar terlies and newspapers to show the enor mous proportions of the Commune its rapid growth the past year and its pres ent threatening aspect There were (he said) 500,000 members in this country and millions in Europe. Wendell Phil lips was a member, aud said in his recent lecture in Musio Hall, Boston, that "Eu rope was resting on a volcano that threatened the destruction of all ber thrones." And if the Church would not discern the signs of the times, the world did, and " men's hearts were failing them for fear, and for looking after the things that are coming on the earth." Concerning New Yorkers. A freo anoVeasy correspondent of the Cincinna ti Commercial, himself a New Yorker, " expands" in this fashion : " Ne w York is a noble State, that can not claim to be tbe mother of Presidents and to bacco like Virginia, but she has pro duced a good deal else tbat is worthy of notice, including Orange County butter. New Yorkers are an eminently respect able set, no matter where yeu find them. They are famous for good character. In Tennessee, for instance, there is not a single New Yorker in the Penitentiary or in the Legislature either. I call that a pretty good, reoord." MISCELLANEOUS ITliMS. Dulutb is tbe most hopeful place in the country. It has now a population of 4,500, but expects an increase of 40,- 000 next year by immigration. Tho Chicago and Northwestern Rail road Company divided $5,000 among its employes in Christmas gifts. Its divi dends will never suffer abatement on ac count of this timely benefaction. The best yet. A Michigan woman, the wife of an invalid, and mother of twenty-six children, picked cranberries enough lost fall to pay off a mortgage on ber farm. Mr. Porter, of Missouri, having com pleted a century without any prospect of dissolution, has concluded to rub out aud begin over again. Accordingly bis gray bair is turning black and be is cut ting a third set of teeth at the early age of 101. A new feature in tbe Woman's Rights movement presents itself in Spain. Heretofore the men of Spain have nearly monopolized all the honor and glory at tending the performances in the bull ring, but now two young ladies, feeling the wrongs of their sex and burning for distinction, have entered the arena at Madrid and have slain not less than three roaring, wild and dangerous bulls. What next iu the way of progress ? We wish that every boy in tbe State could read the following paragraph from the Albany Journal : Forty boys, now pupils in the Free Academy, earn their own livelihood while they ure pursuing tbeir studies. Some of them rise at four o'clock in the morning to carry newspa pers. Others are employed on nfternoon papers and other vocations. The boys possessed of such spirit and capable of such effort will make tbeir mark in the world. In Hartford recently a case bad been before tbe court for several days, and was finally given to the jury, who went out to decide upou their verdict. After they had been out nearly half a day, unable to agree, and while they were still conferring, the litigants agreed up on a settlement and started for home. Tbe jury were informed and appeared somewhat disgusted at the abrupt man ner in which tbe matter bad been taken out of their hands, while the court and counsel smiled audibly. A lad named Minor, in Cincinnati, has brought an action against his father and mother, claiming $50,000 damages for abuse and ill treatment. He says bo was thrashed with an iron ram-rod aud with rubber whips ; dragged about the bouse and down two flights of stairs by tbe bair; thrust into a closet, under a tank of hot water, and kept there forteu hours, in such a position that he was un able to stand up or sit down, and the like. The parents have refused an offer to compromise the Matter. This is the description cf a terrible iu fint which is s.iid to bo in Fentress County, Tenn. : " The prodigy is only three years old, and weighs seventy pounds firm flesh ; has as much beard as u twenty-year older ; his feet are eight inches long, though email for one of his build of conrse, he is fond of the society of the girls, but the boys he detests. His voice is coarse and bis fits of passion are terrific. He expects to marry next year, and go to Congress tbe year after, with the Presidency in the near prospective." Some not uninteresting statistics in regard to tbe members of the United States Senate are found in the columns of an exchange. From these it appears that Senator Cameron is the oldest sen ator, and Senator Spencer the youngest. Eleven senators have been governors of States ; nine were born in New York, fifty-two in New England, seven came from tbe British Isles and ene apieco from Canada and Prussia. Of the pro fessions represented, the editorial has eleven members. There are eight man ufacturers, three doctors, two clergy man, one teacher and one " general busi ness." The Southern railroad companies which bought tbe railroad material and rolling stock that the government found itself in possession of at the close of the war, are paying their debts, and, on tbe whole doing very well. The value of the property sold was $8,500,000. There were fifty roads involved in the transac tion, and June 30, 1870, thirteen had p lid up all tbeir indebtedness, amount ing, principal and interest, to $2,380,000. A year later, on June 1, 1871, over two millions more bad been paid, leaving due at that time $4,724,350. Consider ing the poverty of most of tho compa nies and of the people of the South, this is doing very well indeed. An elderly gentleman was recently " confidenced" on a train running into Keokuk by sharpers, who induced him to buy a draft (worthless) on Buffalo for $157.40, be paying them two $100 bills and they paying him $42.60 as change. The conductor on the train took the first opportunity to quietly suggest to the old gentleman that be was afraid the draft was a . fraud. "Well," was the bland response of the imperturbable greeny, "if it is auy bigger fraud than my two one hun dred dollar notes were, then I am not forty-three dollars ahead which I think 1 am, I am not in the habit of dealing in counterfeit currency, but I always keep a little of tbat sort of stuff about me for the benefit of that sort of custo mers." In Bristol, N. H., great public honors are showered upon a young gentleman whose only merit is that when be went wooing, he sat with tbe object of bis af fections, as many young gentlemen have done before bim, until three o'clock in the morning. After tearing himself from tbe lady, as be was walking home he discovered a house on fire. Now there hadn't been a house' on fire in Bristol before for a year and a half. The lover gave a loud yell, the engine com pany was aroused, and the village saved from destruction.- So delighted were the firemen with this that they mad a handsome present to tbe damsel whose personal beauty and delightful conver sation compelled her lover to stay much later, or rather go home inuoh earlier than he should have done.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers