HENRY A. PARSONS, Je., Editob and Publisher, ELK COUNTY TJZE REPUBLICAN PARTY. Two Dollars tee Ashum:
'" 1 -I-- II. . , I. ., , ,- . .... . . ,, .III I " ' -LI. ., . , . .. . ... -- I .1 I I '
VOL. I. IlIDGWAY, PA., THURSDAY, JANUARY 11, 1872. NO. 45.
Ridiculous Story of Mrs. Bjrdc.
The funniest story I ever heard,
The funniest thlnir that ever occurred,
Is the story of Mrs. Mehltable Byrde,
Who war ted to be a Mason.
Ilcr husband, Tom Byrde, if a Mason true,
As good a MtiBon as any of yon ;
He Is Tyler of Lodge Cerulean Blue,
And tyles and delivers the summons due,
And Bhe wanted to be a Maon too ;
This ridiculous Mis. Byrde.
8he followed him 'ronnd, this inquisitive wife,
And nagged him and teased him half out of
his life ;
So, to terminate this nnhallowed strife
He consented at last to admit her.
And first, to disguise her from bonnet and
shoon,
The ridiculous lady agreed to put on
Ills breech ah I forgive me ; I meant pana
loont ;
And miraculously did they lit her.
The Lodge was at work on the Master's de
gree, Tbe light was ablaze In the letter G ;
High soared the pillars J. and B. .
The officers tat like Solomon, wise,
The brimstone burned midst horrid cries ;
The goat roamed wildly through the room,
The candidate begged 'em to let him go home,
And the devil himself stood up In the east
As proud as an alderman at a feast ;
When in camo Mrs. Byrde.
Ob I horrible sounds I Oh I horrlblo sight !
Can it be that Masons take delight
In spending thus the hours of night T
Ah 1 could their wives and daughters know
Tbe unutterable things they say and do,
Their feminine hearts would burst with woe
But this is not all my story. .
For those Masons joined in a hideous ring,
Tbe candidate howiing like everything,
Aud thus in toues of death they sing
Tbe candidate's name was Morey
" Blood to drink, and bones to crack,
Skulls to smash, and lives to take,
Hearts to crush, and souls to burn ;
(iive old Morey another turn,
And make him all grim and gory."
Trembling with horror stood Mrs. Byrde,
Unable to speak a single word ;
She staggered and fell, in the nearest chair
On the left of the Junior Warden there,
Aud scarcely noticed so loud the groans,
Tbe chair was made of human bones t
Of human bones 1 on grinning skulls
That ghastly throne ol horror rolls ;
Those skulls, the skulls that Morgan bore,
Those bones, the bones that Morgan wore,
His scalp across the top was flung,
His teeth around the arms were strung
Never, in all romance, was known
Such uses made of human bones.
The brimstone gleamed in lurid flame
Just like a place wo will not name ;
(iood angels, that inquiring came,
From blissful courts looked on with ebunio
And tearful melancholy.
Again they dance, but twice as bud,
They jump and sing like demons mad,
The tune is Hunkey-Dorey
" Blood to drink," &c, &c.
Then dame a pause a pair of paws
Reached through the floor, upsliding doors,
And grabbed the unhappy candidate.
How can 1, without tears, relate
Tbe lost and ruined Morey's fate ?
She saw him sink in fiery hole,
Sue heard him scream "my soul I my soul !"
Willie roars of fiendish laughter roll
Aud drown the yells of Morey ;
' Blood to drink," &c., &c.
The ridiculous woman could stand no more,
She fainted, and fell on the floor
'Midst all the diabolical roar.
What then, you usk me, did befall
Mehltable Byrde f Why, nothing at all !
She dreamed that she'd been In the Mason's
hall. Masonic Jewel.
THE SIGHT EXPRESS.
A bitter December midnight, aud tbe
up-express pautiog through its ten min
utes rest at Rugby. What with passen
gers just arriving, and passengers just
departing ; what with the friends whs
came to see the last of tbe departing
passengers, or ti meet tbe arriving ones,
tbe platform was fall enough, I can as
sure you ; and I bad some difficulty in
making my way from carriage to car
riage, even though I generally find that
people (almost unconsciously perhaps,)
move aside for the guard when they see
him walking up or down close to the
carriage door;. This difficulty was in
creased, too, by tbe manoeuvres of my
companion, a London detective, who
bad joined me to give himself a better
opportunity of examining tbe passen
gers. Keenly be did it, too, in that
seemingly careless way of big ; and,
while be appeared only an idle, loung
ing acquaintance of my own, I knew
that under bis unsuspected scrutiny it
was next to impossible for tbe thieves
bo was seeking to escape even in ham
pers. I didn't trouble myself to help
him, for I knew it wasn't necessary ; yet
I wag as anxious as hundreds of others
were that those practiced thieves, whom
the police had been hunting for tbe last
two days, bould be caught as tbey de
served. Bometim.es we cams upon a group
which my companion could not take in
at a glance, and then he always found
himself unusually cold, and stopped to
Btamp a little life into bis petrified feet.
Of course for me this enforced standing
was the signal for an attack of that per
sistent questioning with which railway
guards are familiar ; and, in attending
to polite questioners who deserved an
swering, and unpolite ones who insisted
on it, 1 bad not much time for looking
about me ; but presently I did catch
myself watching a girl who stood alone
at some distance. A girl very pretty
and pleasant to look upon, I thought,
though her face, and her dress, and ber
attitude were all sad. She stood just at
the door of the booking-office ; a tall,
slight girl, in deep mourning, with a
quantity of bright, fair bair, plaited
high upon ber bead, aa well as banging
loosely on ber shoulders, with a child
ishly innocent face, and pretty, bewil
dered eyes. I wished I could have gone
straight to her, and put ber into one
the most comfortable of tbe line of
carriagf s at which she gazed so timidly.
Just as I hesitated, a very remarkable
figure elbowed its way to me ; a stout,
grandly-dressed old lady, panting pain
fully, and almost piercing me with a
pair of restless, half-opened eyes, .that
looked out through tbe gold-rimmed
spectacles perched on ber sharp nose.
Two porters followed ber, laden with
bags, cloaks, umbrellas and flowers the
only flowers in the station, I expect tbat
winter night and one of the men wink
ed at me over her head, while the other
guarded her treasures with a face of con
centrated anxiety, and thoughts en
grossed by possible feet.
"This is the London train, is it,
ga'ad ?" she asked, peering sharply in
to my face with herhalf-closed eyes, as
if she found it difficult to distinguish
me even through her spectacles.
From ber whole attitude I guessed her
to be deaf, but 1 never guessed hote deaf
until, after yelling niy answer so loud
that the engine-driver must have beard
it eighteen carriages off, she Btill remain
ed Btonily waiting for it.
" Deaf as a dozen posts," said the de
tective, aloud, Riving the old lady an
expressive little nod in the direction of
the train.
" Slow train t" she asked, in tbat
plaintive tone which the very deaf often
use.
Mail 1" . I shouted, putting my
mouth as close to her cheek as I tancied
she would like.
" Ale 1" she Bbrieked back at me, the
spectacles shaking a little on her thin
nose. " Why should you want ale for
listening to civil questions that you are
paid to answer ? Ale, indeed f I be
lieve railway men think of nothing
else."
Then she shook ber head angrily and
waddled off, looking as acid an old party
as I should ever try to avoid. In at
every door she peered through her glit
tering glasses, the two porters following
her, until she made a Btop before an
empty second-class carriage near my
van, and with much labor and assist
ance got herself and ber packages into
it.
Wbon I passed, a few minutes after
ward, she was standing in the doorway,
effectually barring the door to any other
passenger by her own unattractive ap
pearance there, and prolonging with an
evident relish the anxiety of the obse
quious porters. I fancy that though
the purse she fumbled in was large, ttie
coin she wanted was but small, for I
passed on and left her still searching
and still asking questions of the men,
but bearing nothing either of their re
plies or of the loud asides in which they
indulged to each other. I had reached
the other end of the train, and was just
about making my way back to my own
vau, .when the young lady I bad before
noticed went slowly in front of mo to
ward the empty first-class compartment
near which I stood.
" Am I right for Enston ?" she asked
me gently, r.s she hesitated at the door.
" All right, Miss," I said, taking the
door from her, ei.d standing while the
got in. ' Any loggage ?" For from
that very moment 1 took ber in a sort
of way into my charge because she was
so thoroughly alone, you see, not having
any friends there even to see ber off.
"No luggage, thank you," she an
swered, putting her little leather satchtl
down beside her ou the seat, and Bat
tling herself in the corner furthest from
the open door. " Do we Btop anywhere
between here and London ?"
"Don't stop r.gain, Miss, except for a
few minutes to take tickets." Then I
looked at ber as much as to say, " You'ro
all right, because I'm the guard," and
shut the door.
I suppose that, without exactly being
aware of it, I kept a sort of watch over
this carriage, for I saw plainly enough a
lazy young gentleman, who persistently
kept havering about it and looking in.
His inquisitive eyes bad of course caught
Bight of tbe pretty face in there alone,
and I could see that be was making up
bis mind to join her ; but he seemed do
ing it in a most careless and languid
manner. He was no gentleman lor
that reason, I said to myself, yet his
dress was handsome, and the band that
played with bis long, dark beard was
small and fashionably gloved. Glancing
still into the fur corner of tbat one first
class apartment, he lingered until the
last moment was come ; then, quite
leisurely, he walked up to the door,
opened it, entered the carriage, and in
an instant the door was banged to be
hind bim. Without the least hesitation
I went up to the window, and stood near
it while the lamp was fitted in the com
partment. The gentleman was standing
up within, drawing on a dark overcoat ;
that young lady in the distant corner
was looking from the window as if even
the half darkness was better to look at
than this companion. Mortified a good
deal at the failure of my scheme for ber
comfort, I weut on to my van, beside
which the detective waited for me.
" No go, you see," be muttered crossly,
" and yet it seemed to me so likely that
they'd take this train." .
" I don't see bow it should seem like
ly," I answered, for I hadn't gone with
bim in the idea. " It doesn't seem to
me very likely that three such skillful
thieves as you are dodging, who did
their work in this neighborhood bo
cleverly two nights ago, should leave
the station any night by the very train
which the Police watch with double
suspicion."
" Doesn't it ?" be echoed, with a most
satirical knowingness. "Perhaps you
haven't yet got it quite clear in your
mind bow they will leave the town ; for
it's sure enough tbat tbey haven't left it
up to now. That they'll be in a hurry
to leave it is sure enough, too, for this
isn't the sort of place they'll care to hide
in longer than necessary. Well, what's
the hardest place for us t track them
in? London. And what's the easiest
place for them to get on sea from?
London. Then naturally enough to
London they'll want to go. Isn't this a
fast train, and shouldn't you choose a
fast train if you were running away
from the Police ?"
I didn't tell bim what sort of a train
I should choose, because I hadn't quite
made up in my mind ; and be was look
ing cross enough for anything in that
last glimpse I caught of bim.
Having nothing better to do, I won
dered a good deal bow these thieves
could arrange their getting away while
the walls were covered with the descrip
tion of them, and every official on the
line was up in it There was no doubt
about their being three very dexterous
knaves, but then our detective force was
very dexterous, too, though tbey weren't
knaves, (and I do believe the greater
dexterity is generally on the knavish
side,) and so it was odd that the descrip
tion still was ineffective and the offered
reward unclaimed. I read over again
the bill in my pocket which described
the robbers. "Edward Capron, alias
Captain Winter, alias John Pearson,
alias Dr. Crow ; a thickset, active man,
of middle height, and about fifty years
of age ; with thick iron-gray hair and
whiskers, dark gray eyes and an aquiline
nose. Mary Capron, bis wife, a tall
woman of forty ; with a handsome, fair
face, a quantity of very red bair, and a
cut across ber under lip. Edward
Capron, their son, a slightly built youth
of not more than fifteen or sixteen,"
(though, for the matter of that, I thought
be might have had cunning enough for
twice his age,) -"'with closely out black
hair, light gray eyes, and delicate fea
tures." We all knew this description well
enough, and for two days had kept our
eyes open, hoping to identify them
among tbe passengers. But our scrutiny
had been all iu vain ; and as the traiu
rushed on, I felt how disappointed the
Police at Euston would bo when we ar
rived again without even tidings of them.
I was soon tired of this subject, and
went back to worrying myself about tbe
sad-looking, yellow-haired girl, who had
so evidently wished to travel alone, and
had been so successfully foiled in tbe at
tempt by that intrusive fop with the
handsome beard. Foolishly I kept on
thinking of her, until as we were dash
ing almost like lightning through the
wind and darkness, only fifteen or
twenty minutes from Chalk Farm, tho
bell in my van rang out with a sharp
and sudden summons. I never wondered
for a moment who had pulled the cord.
Instinctively I knew, and it was the
carriage furthest from my van ! I left
my place almost breathlessly as the en
gine slackened speed, and hastening
along the footboard, hesitated at no win
dow until I reached the one from which
I felt quite sure that a frightened young
face would be looking out. My heart
literally beat in dread as I stopped, and
looked into tbe carriage. What did I
seer1 Only the two passengers buried
in their separate corners. The young
lady raised her bead from the book she
held, and looked up a.t me astonished
childishly and wonderingly astonished.
" lias anything happened to the
train ?'.' Bhe asked timidly.
The gentleman roused himself leisure
ly from a seemingly snag nap. " What
ou earth has stopped us in this hole ?"
ho suid, riding, and pushing his hand
some face and bis long beard past me at
the window.
It was only too evident that the alarm
had not been given from this carriage ;
yet the feeling had been such a certainty
to me that it was lotg before I felt quite
convinced to the contrary ; aud I went
on along the foot-board to otker car
riages very much more slowly than I.had
gone first to that one. Utter darkness
surrounded us outside, but from the
lumplit compartments eager beads were
thrust, searching for tbe reason of this
unexpected stoppage. No one owned to
having summoned me until I reached
that second-class carriage near my own
van, (which I bad hastened past before),
where tbe fidgety, deaf old lady who had
amused mo at Rugby eat alone. I had
no need to look in and question her.
Her bead was quite out of the window,
and, though she had ber back to the
light and I couldn't see ber face, her
voice was cool enough to show that ehe
was not overpowered by fear.
" What a time you've been coming,"
she said. " Where is it ?"
"Whare's what?"
But though I yelled the question with
all my might and main, I believe I
might just as hopefully have questioned
the telegraph post which stood beside
ns, and have expected an answer along
the wire3.
" Where's the small luncheon beslcet ?"
sho inquired, pulling out ber long purse
with great fussiness. "A small luncheon
basket, my good man, and make baste I"
Shall I ever forget the sharp expectan
cy of the old lady's eyes as they looked
into mine, first over, then under, then
through ber glittering, gold-rimmed
spectacles? What surprised me most
particularly was the fact of her decidedly
not being, as any one might suppose, a
raving lunatic.
' Be quick with tbe small luncheon
basket, please," she said, resignedly sit
ting down, and pouring the contents of
her purse out into her lap ; "I'm as hun
gry as I can bo."
I suppose that when she looked up at
me from tbe silver Bhe was counting, she
saw my utter bewilderment. I didn't
try now to make her hear, for I knew it
to be hopeless for she raised ber voice
suddenly to a shrill pitch of peevishness,
and pointed with one shaking hand to
the wall of tbe carriage.
" Look there 1 Doesn't it say ' Small
luncheon baskets. Pull down the cord.'
I want a small luncheon basket, so I
pulled down the cord. Make haste and
get it me, or I'll report you to the man
ager." Seeing now tbat she was almost as
blind as she was deaf, I began to under
stand what she meant. On the spot to
which she pointed above tbe seat oppo
site her two papers were posted in a line ;
one the advertisement of " Small lunch
eon baskets" supplied at Rugby, the
other, the company's directions for sum
moning the guard and stopping the
train in cases of danger. As they hap
pened to be placed, tbe large letters did
read as she had said :
" Shall Luncheon Baskets. Pull
down the Coed."
While I was gazing from ber to the
bills, getting over a bit of my astonish
ment, and she was giving me every now
and then a sharp touch on the shoulder
to recall me to my duty and hasten me
with ber refreshment, we were joined by
one of tbe directors, who happened to be
going up to town by the express. But
bis just and natural wrath loud as it
wat never moved the hungry old lady,
no, not in the slightest degree. She nev
er heard one word of it, and only mildly
insisted, in the midst of it, tbat she was
almost tired of waiting for her small
luncheon basket
With a fierce parting sbot, the director
tried to make her understand that she
bad incurred a penalty of five pounds,
but he couldn't, though he bawled it at
her until the poor old thing perhaps
mortified at having taken so much trou
ble for nothing; perhops overcome by
her hunger ; perhaps frightened at the
commotion she saw though didn't hear
sank back in her seat in a strong fit of
hysterics, and let the shillings and six
pences roll out of her lap and settlo un
der tho seats.
It seemed to me a long time before we
started on again, but I suppose it was
only a six or seven minutes' delay after
all. I expect I should have waited to
explain the stoppage to the pretty young
girl of whom I considered myself a sort
of protegtor ; but,, as I said, she was at
the very opposite end of the train, and I
was in haste now. There must have
been a good laugh in several of the car
riages where the cause of our stoppage
fot whispered about. As for me, when
got back into my van, solitary as it
was, I chuckled over it until we stopped
at Chalk Farm to take tickets.
It seemed to me that the train was
taken into custody as soon as it stopped
here.
"Of course you have the carriage doors
all locked, and I'll go down with you
while you open them one by one. My
men are in possession of the platform."
This was said to me by Davis, a detec
tive officer whom I knew pretty well
now, having had a good bit to do with
bim about this Warwickshire robbery.
" It is no use," I said, before we start
ed, " the train was searched, as you may
Bay, at Rugby. Every passenger has un
dergone a close scrutiny, I can tell you.
What causes such scientific preparation
for us here."
"A telegram received ten minutes
ago," be answered. " It seems that two
of the thieves we are dodging are in this
train in clever disguises. We have had
pretty full particulars, though the dis
covery wasn't made until after you left
tho junction. Have you noticed"
he dropped bis voice a little here " a
young lady and gentleman together in
either carriage ?"
I felt a bit of an odd catching in my
breath as he spoke. ' No," I said, quite
in a hurry. " No young lady and gen
tleman belonging together; but there
may be plenty in the train. What if
there are, though ? There was no young
lady or gentleman among the robbers ?"
"Among the robbers," rejoined Davis,
with suppressed enjoyment, " was a wo
man who'd make herself into anything ;
aud you must own that a gentleman
with a dark, long beard isn't bad for a
lady known to us pretty well by her
thick red hair and a cut ou her upper
lip."
"But the young lady?" I asked, co
gitating this.
"Ah ! the young lady. True enough;
well, what should you say now, if 1 told
you she grew out of that boy with the
closely-cut, dark hair that we are af
ter!" I remembered the pretty plaits and
tbe loose, falling hair. 1 remembered
tbe bewilderment in the eyes which en
tirely hid their natural expression, and
I didn't answer this at all.
" I wish I had as good a chance of
catching the oli fellow as I have of
catching the woman and the boy," con
tinued Davis, as we moved slowly past
the locked luggage van. " I know they're
here, and that I shall recognize them un
der any disguise ; but we've no clue yet
to the older rascal. It's most aggrava
ting that, by some means, we've lost
sight of the biggest rogue of all. Come
along."
I did come along, feeling very stupid
ly glad that there was all the train to
search before we could reach that car
riage at tbe other end where sat the girl
whom I bad, in a way, taken under my
protection.
" When are we to be allowed to leave
this train, pray ? Call me a cab," cried
the deaf old lady, plaintively, as we
reached her carriage, and found her gaz
ing out in most evident and utter ignor
ance of all that was going on around
her. " I am locked iu, ga'ad. Do you
hear?"
I beard ; aye, sharp enough. I only
wished she could hear me as readily.
Davis stood aside watching while I un
locked ber door and helped her down.
Then, seeing her helplessness, and her
countless packages, he beckoned a por
ter to ber, winking expressively to call
bis attention to a probable shilling.
Carriage after carriage we examined ;
and though Davis detected no thief, he
turned away only more and more hope
fully from each. He was so sure they
were there, and that escape was impossi
ble. We reached the last carriage in the
line, and now my heart beat in the
oddest manner possible.
" Is this compartment empty, then ?"
asked Davis, while my fingers were ac
tually shaking as I put my key in the
door of the centre one. " Empty and
dark?"
" Even if it had been empty it wouldn't
have been left dark," I muttered, looking
in. " Hallo ! what's come to the lamp r"
I might well ask what was come to
the lamp, for tbe compartment was as
dark as if it had never been lighted ;
yet bad not I myself stood and watched
the lighted lamp put in it at Eugby?
And the carriage was empty, too !
" Why was this ?" asked tbe detective,
turning sharply upon me. " Why was
not the lamp lighted ?"
But the lamp teat lighted, and burn
ing now as sensibly as tbe others if we
could but have seen it. As we soon dis
covered, the glass was covered by a kind
of tarpaulin, intensely black and strong
ly adhesive, and the carriage was as
completely dark as if no lamp bad been
there at alL The perplexity in Davis'
face was as great as my own, when I
told him who bad travelled here. u They
couldn't have left the train here, at any
rate," be Baid ; and 1 knew that as well
as he did.
But you have guessed the end. Dur
ing those few minutes that we stopped
on the line, tbe two thieves darkening
the lamp even after I bad left them, and
using their own key bad left the car
riage under cover of the darkness ; man
aging their escape in their black dresses
out into the blackness of the night ss
cleverly as they had managed their
theft and subsequent concealment. But
how could they have depended on this
unusual delay this exquisite opportun
ity given them in the utter darkness,
close to the city, yet at no station?
When I officially made my deposition,
and explained the cause of our stoppage,
something of the truth seemed to break
upon us all ; but it wasn't for a good
while that it settled into a certainty.
Then it got clear to everybody that the
older scoundrel had duped us more in
geniously than the younger ones. As
the incapable old lady (deaf as a stone,
trad so blind that she had to peer through
ber glittering glasses, with eyes always
half-closed, and so hungry that she had
to stop the train for a luncheon-basket)
he had played upon us the neatest trick
of all. Where on earth were the thick
iron-gray hair and whiskers by which
we were to have identified bim ? But
by the time the police saw the whole
thing clearly it was too late to follow
up any clue to him.
The cab which had taken the eccen
trio old lady and her parcels and flowers
from EuBton was lost; in the city, and
could not be tracked. A high reward
was offered for information, but no one
ever won it. My firm belief is that it
was no legitimately licensed cab at all,
but one belonging to the gang, and part
of tbe finished fraud. I verily believe,
too, that sometimes now though per
haps on the other side of the channel
those three practiced knaves enjoy a
hearty laugh over tbat December jour
ney by night-express.
Davis still assures me, with the most
cheerful confidence, that be shall yet
have the pleasure some day of trapping
three of the most expert and ekihful
thieves in Britain. I wish I felt as sure
of it. The Argosy.
The Empire of Japan
With its forty millions of inhabitants,
has recently been the scene of a blood
less but radical revolution. For cen
turies past the provinces of the empire
have been ruled by feudal princes,
know as Daiinioe, descendants of petty
kings, who ence maintained independent
sovereignty. These Daimios, like tbe
feudal nobility of mediroval France,
always Beized opportunities to weaken
the power of the reigning sovereign, and
raise themselves to the dignity of in
dependence. In 1549, when Xavier
visited Japan, he found the princes of
Bungo, Avima, and Pxuma maintaining
regal state and authority. The record
of the struggles during tbe fourteenth
and fifteenth centuries between the
sovereign and his nobles, must remind
the historical reader of the continual
conflicts between tho monarchs of France
and the princes of Burgundy, Cham
pagne, and Aujou. The work of ter
ritorial unity was commenced in France,
in the fifteenth century, by tbe cunning
Louis XL, and was begun in Japan, iu
the sixteenth cntury, by Taiko Same,
tbe Napoleon Bonaparte of Eastern
Asia. Having raised himself, amid the
turbulence of civil war, to imperial
power, Taiko determined to weaken the
authority of the Daimios, many of
whom had thrown off their allegiance.
With this end, he increased their num
ber from sixty to several hundred. This
policy, carried out by his successors,
ended in establishing C04 independent
principalities and lordships.
To the Daimios the present Mikado
owes the enjoyment of imperial power,
which be only possessed in name before
the overthrow cf the late Tycoon.
Within the past few years, civilization
has made more rapid strides in Japan
than in any country of the East, and
tbe Mikado, in centralizing the national
authority, doubtless aims to place his
country on an equal footing with the
great centralized umpires of tbe West
Tbe decree ordering tbe princes to sur
render their sovereignties was no doubt
bailed with satisfaction by the great
multitude of the Mikado's subjects, for
petty governments are usually oppres
sive. Japan, as an enlightened and
well-governed empire, now takes the
front rank among the independent
powers of Asia. As in the Sandwich Is
lands, foreign enterprise and immi
gration, instead of threatening, will
secure ber independence. With its gold
mines, its silk groves, and its tea, the
island empire is conveniently situated
for intercourse with the United States,
and unless the whole empire be devoured
by tbe Russian bear, which has already
commenced on it piecemeal, an impor
tant commercial interest may be built
up between the two nations.
Kerosene.
Dr. James R. Nichols, the well-known
chemist, in bis new work, " Fireside
Science," says in substance of the fire
fiend, kerosene :
Kerosene is not explosive ; a lighted
taper may be thrust into it, or flame ap
plied to it, with perfect safety. Acci
dents from kerosene occur from two
causes : imperfect manufacture and adul
teration. Naptha is volatile, inflamma
ble and dangerous, and with imperfect
distillation of kerosene some naptha re
mains, and further, unprincipled dealers
add naptha to kerosene. But even nap
tha is not explosive ; to render it or the
vapor that rises from it explosive it must
be mixed with air, and this is the great
secret of the terrible accidents now so
frequent. A lamp full, or nearly full,
is comparatively safe. In using impure
oil, above the line of oil is inexplosive
vapor (not gas), and as long as it is
warm and quiet no air can reach the oil;
but when the lamp cools the vapor con
denses, and a vacuum is farmed which
is instantly filled with air, and the mix
ture is more or less explosive. Let the
lamp be suddenly shaken and an explo
sion is probable ; or let an unreplenish
ed lamp be lighted, and'there is similar
danger. Cola air striking a partially
filled lamp will condense the vapor, air
will rush in, and there will be an explo
sion. So much for impure kerosene.
Moral, buy of responsible parties, and
always keep your lamps well filled.
" The whole hazard oomes from air-mixed
vapor."
Court Anecdotes.
The tedious session cf the Supreme
Court at Pittsfield was relieved by an
incident, one day recently, that drew a
little smile. A leading member of the
bar, rather noted for his strategy cf
confusing witnesses by working them in
to a passion, bad under cross-examination
a woman who seemed an apt sub
ject for his favorite tactics. Having
wound her up to tho desired pitch, he
inquired : ' Madam, are you now liv
ing with your first or second husband ?"
" That's none your business I" sharp and
short. With an air of offended dignity,
the attorney turned to Chief Justice
Brigham, who remarked, with a smile.:
" I think the witness is about right in
that, is she not ?"
Which reminds the older members of
the bar of a similar misadventure that a
still more distinguished member of the
Berkshire bar once met at the hands of
Chief Justice Shaw. " Where did you
get the money with which you made the
purchase spoken of ?" asked the " learn
ed brother" of a witness under tbe tor
tures of cross-examination. " None of
your (gentle expletive) business !" thun
dered the victim. " 1 ow, may it please
you, are counsel to be insulted in this
manner ?" appealed the lawyer. " Wit
ness," said the Chief Justice, compas
sionately, " do you wish to change your
last answer ?" " No, sir, I don't 1"
" Well, I wouldn't if I were in your
place I" And the chuckle that Bhook
the bench was audibly echoed.
She Overdid It.
It is easy to overdo a very good thing,
and the " slip" between the " cup and
the lip" is so readily found. A mechan
ic, rejoicing in the natuo of Dubois, And
a resident of the city of Detroit, took
to drinking, and was speedily trans
formed from a hard workingraan into a
drunken sot. His good wife scoldsd, en
treated, diminished the thickness of his
beard without the use a razor, but could
make no change. One night Dubois ar
rived home and found that his wife and
his coat had changed places the latter
lay on the floor, and the former was sus
pended from tha hook. Up rushed Du
bois to the rescue, took his wife down,
aud after much labor brought her to her
senses.
The attempt at suicide completely so
bered him, and, like Obadiah Oldbuck,
he turned over a new leaf. He pro
mised never to drink again, and probab
ly would have kept his word if his wife
had been able to keep ber own counsel
But she was jui-t smart enough to in
form several of her neighbors that the
apparent hanging was a put-up job, tbe
rope being tied under ber arms. Tho
knowledge of this little practical joke
coming to the ears of Dubois, he first
thrashed the whole family, then perform
ed some extraordinary feats of furniture
smashing, and finally left tho premises,
and has not been seen eince
Jefferson's Liking for Iudluiis.
That liking for Indians which we ob
serve in the writings of Jefferson resulted
from bis early acquaintance with some
of the best of the uncorrupted chiefs
who used to visit and stay with bis fath
er on their journeja to and from the
capital of Virginia. Tho Indians held
his father in that entire respect which
they were apt to feel for men who never
feared and never deceived them. One of
the most vivid recollections of his boy
hood was of a famous chief of the Chero
kees, named Ontassete, who went to
England on behalf of bis people. Tho
boy was in the camp of this chief, the
evening before his departure for Eng
land, and heard bim deliver bis farewell
oration to his tribe a scene that be used
to describe with animation seventy years
after its occurrence. Tbe moon was iu
full splendor that evening, and it seemed
as if it was to that lustrous orb the iin-
Eassioned orator addressed prayers for
is own safety and tbe protection of his
people during bis absonoe. The power
ful voice of the speaker, his distinct ar
ticulation, bis animated gestures, and
the silence of the listening Indians sit
ting motionless in groups by their sev
eral fires, filled bim with awe and vener
ation, although he did not understand a
word that was spoken. James Parton.
The World to Stop In 18"3.
The Second Adventists are at it again.
At a convention held in Rochester, they
have definitely settled the time for the
total destruction of tbe world. It is
to take place in 1873.
Dr. Barbour, who has prepared sever
al charts from which he has lectured ex
tensively of late, from Boston to Roches
ter, on tbe coming of Christ in 1873,
made a speech on tbe signs of the times,
and cited articles in the London Quar
terly, the Edinburgh Review, Blaclwood't,
and several American magazines, quar
terlies and newspapers to show the enor
mous proportions of the Commune its
rapid growth the past year and its pres
ent threatening aspect There were (he
said) 500,000 members in this country
and millions in Europe. Wendell Phil
lips was a member, aud said in his recent
lecture in Musio Hall, Boston, that "Eu
rope was resting on a volcano that
threatened the destruction of all ber
thrones." And if the Church would not
discern the signs of the times, the world
did, and " men's hearts were failing them
for fear, and for looking after the things
that are coming on the earth."
Concerning New Yorkers. A freo
anoVeasy correspondent of the Cincinna
ti Commercial, himself a New Yorker,
" expands" in this fashion : " Ne w
York is a noble State, that can not claim
to be tbe mother of Presidents and to
bacco like Virginia, but she has pro
duced a good deal else tbat is worthy of
notice, including Orange County butter.
New Yorkers are an eminently respect
able set, no matter where yeu find them.
They are famous for good character. In
Tennessee, for instance, there is not a
single New Yorker in the Penitentiary
or in the Legislature either. I call that
a pretty good, reoord."
MISCELLANEOUS ITliMS.
Dulutb is tbe most hopeful place in
the country. It has now a population
of 4,500, but expects an increase of 40,-
000 next year by immigration.
Tho Chicago and Northwestern Rail
road Company divided $5,000 among its
employes in Christmas gifts. Its divi
dends will never suffer abatement on ac
count of this timely benefaction.
The best yet. A Michigan woman,
the wife of an invalid, and mother of
twenty-six children, picked cranberries
enough lost fall to pay off a mortgage
on ber farm.
Mr. Porter, of Missouri, having com
pleted a century without any prospect
of dissolution, has concluded to rub out
aud begin over again. Accordingly bis
gray bair is turning black and be is cut
ting a third set of teeth at the early age
of 101.
A new feature in tbe Woman's Rights
movement presents itself in Spain.
Heretofore the men of Spain have nearly
monopolized all the honor and glory at
tending the performances in the bull
ring, but now two young ladies, feeling
the wrongs of their sex and burning for
distinction, have entered the arena at
Madrid and have slain not less than
three roaring, wild and dangerous bulls.
What next iu the way of progress ?
We wish that every boy in tbe State
could read the following paragraph from
the Albany Journal : Forty boys, now
pupils in the Free Academy, earn their
own livelihood while they ure pursuing
tbeir studies. Some of them rise at four
o'clock in the morning to carry newspa
pers. Others are employed on nfternoon
papers and other vocations. The boys
possessed of such spirit and capable of
such effort will make tbeir mark in the
world.
In Hartford recently a case bad been
before tbe court for several days, and
was finally given to the jury, who went
out to decide upou their verdict. After
they had been out nearly half a day,
unable to agree, and while they were
still conferring, the litigants agreed up
on a settlement and started for home.
Tbe jury were informed and appeared
somewhat disgusted at the abrupt man
ner in which tbe matter bad been taken
out of their hands, while the court and
counsel smiled audibly.
A lad named Minor, in Cincinnati,
has brought an action against his father
and mother, claiming $50,000 damages
for abuse and ill treatment. He says bo
was thrashed with an iron ram-rod aud
with rubber whips ; dragged about the
bouse and down two flights of stairs by
tbe bair; thrust into a closet, under a
tank of hot water, and kept there forteu
hours, in such a position that he was un
able to stand up or sit down, and the
like. The parents have refused an offer
to compromise the Matter.
This is the description cf a terrible iu
fint which is s.iid to bo in Fentress
County, Tenn. : " The prodigy is only
three years old, and weighs seventy
pounds firm flesh ; has as much beard as
u twenty-year older ; his feet are eight
inches long, though email for one of his
build of conrse, he is fond of the society
of the girls, but the boys he detests. His
voice is coarse and bis fits of passion are
terrific. He expects to marry next year,
and go to Congress tbe year after, with
the Presidency in the near prospective."
Some not uninteresting statistics in
regard to tbe members of the United
States Senate are found in the columns
of an exchange. From these it appears
that Senator Cameron is the oldest sen
ator, and Senator Spencer the youngest.
Eleven senators have been governors of
States ; nine were born in New York,
fifty-two in New England, seven came
from tbe British Isles and ene apieco
from Canada and Prussia. Of the pro
fessions represented, the editorial has
eleven members. There are eight man
ufacturers, three doctors, two clergy
man, one teacher and one " general busi
ness." The Southern railroad companies
which bought tbe railroad material and
rolling stock that the government found
itself in possession of at the close of the
war, are paying their debts, and, on tbe
whole doing very well. The value of
the property sold was $8,500,000. There
were fifty roads involved in the transac
tion, and June 30, 1870, thirteen had
p lid up all tbeir indebtedness, amount
ing, principal and interest, to $2,380,000.
A year later, on June 1, 1871, over two
millions more bad been paid, leaving
due at that time $4,724,350. Consider
ing the poverty of most of tho compa
nies and of the people of the South, this
is doing very well indeed.
An elderly gentleman was recently
" confidenced" on a train running into
Keokuk by sharpers, who induced him
to buy a draft (worthless) on Buffalo for
$157.40, be paying them two $100 bills
and they paying him $42.60 as change.
The conductor on the train took the
first opportunity to quietly suggest to
the old gentleman that be was afraid
the draft was a . fraud. "Well,"
was the bland response of the
imperturbable greeny, "if it is auy
bigger fraud than my two one hun
dred dollar notes were, then I am not
forty-three dollars ahead which I think
1 am, I am not in the habit of dealing
in counterfeit currency, but I always
keep a little of tbat sort of stuff about
me for the benefit of that sort of custo
mers." In Bristol, N. H., great public honors
are showered upon a young gentleman
whose only merit is that when be went
wooing, he sat with tbe object of bis af
fections, as many young gentlemen have
done before bim, until three o'clock in
the morning. After tearing himself
from tbe lady, as be was walking home
he discovered a house on fire. Now
there hadn't been a house' on fire in
Bristol before for a year and a half. The
lover gave a loud yell, the engine com
pany was aroused, and the village saved
from destruction.- So delighted were
the firemen with this that they mad a
handsome present to tbe damsel whose
personal beauty and delightful conver
sation compelled her lover to stay much
later, or rather go home inuoh earlier
than he should have done.