Qlje-Straws, Nctu Blooiufwlu, f)a. 3 FEItttY COUHfTl Meal Estate, Insurance, ADD C3L.AXTSS. AGENCY. LEWIS POTTER & CO., Seal Estate Broken, Insurance, t Claim Agent Now Uloomfick, Pti. WE INVITE the attention of buyers and sell ers to the advantages we offer tliem In pur chasing or disponing of real estate through our of fice. We have a very large llstof deslrab property, consisting of farms, town property, mills, store and tavern stands, and real estute of any descrip tion which we are prepared to olf er at great bar. fialns. We advertise our property very extensive y, and use all our efforts, skill, and dilllgence to effect a Bale. We make no charges unless tht property is sold while registered with us. We also draw up deeds, bonds, mortgages, andall legal pa pers at moderate rates. Some of the best, cheapest, and most reliable fire, life, and cattle insurance companies in the United States are represented at this agency. Property Insured either on the cash or mutual plan, and perpetually at 14 and Jfl per thousand. Pensions, bounties, and all kinds of war claims collected. There are thousands of soldiers and lielrs of soldiers who are entitled to pensions and bounty, who have never made application, ttol diers, if you were wounded, ruptured, orcontract ed a disease In the service from which you are dis abled, you are entitled to a pension. When widows of soldlersdfe ormarry.the minor Children are entitled to the pension. Parties having any business to transact In our line, are respectfully Invited to give us a call, as we are confident we can render satisfaction in any branch of our business. r No charge for information. 4201y LEWIS POTTER & CO. Neiv Millinery Goods AX Newport, Fa. I BEG to Inform the public that I have Just re turned from Philadelphia, with a lul assort ment of the latest styles of MILLINERY GOODS. HATS AND BONNETS, RIDBONS, FRENCH FLOWERS FEATHERS, CHIGNONS. LACE CAPES. NOTIONS, . And all articles usually found in a first-class Mil linery Establishment. All orders promptly at tended to. WWe will sell all goods as Cheap as can be got elsewhere . DRESS MAKING done to order and In the la test style, as I get the latest Fashions from New York every month, (loitering done to order, in all widths. I will warrant all my work to give sat isfaction. All work done as low as possible. ANNIE ICKES, Cherry Street, near the Station, 6 16 13 Newport, Pa. CARLISLE CARRIAGE FACTORY. A. B. SIIEBK has a large lot ol second-hand work on hand, which he will sell cheap in order to muxe room ior new worn, FOR THE SPRING TRADE. He has. also, the best lot of NEW WORK ON HAND. You can always see different styles. The material Is not In question any more, for it is the best used. It you want satisfaction In style, quality and price, go to this shop before purchasing elsewhere. T here Is no hrm that has a better Trade, or sells more In Cumberland and Perry counties. 'REPAIRING AND PAINTING promptly attended to. Factory Corner of South and Pitt Streets, 3 dp CARLISLE, PA. Farmers Take Notice. fJHE subscriber offers for Sale THRES.IIING MACHINES. JACKS and HORSE POWER, With Tumbling Shaft, and Slde-Gearlng, Warrant ed to give satisfaction in speedy and perfect threshing, light draft and durability, on reasona ble terms. Also I Hi O U G I H Of Superior Make. CORN 8HELLEHS, KETTLES, STOVES. SCOOPS AND ALL CA8TINGS, made at a country Foundry. Also, A GOOD MILL SCREW, in excellent order, for sale at a low rate. I refer those wishing to buy to John Adams, Samuel Hliuinan, John Iloden, Ross Hench, at Ickesburg. Jacob Shoemaker it Son, Klllntts burg; Thomas Morrow, Loysvllle; John Fllcklng er, Jacob FUckinger, Centre. 620 13 SAMUEL LIGGETT. Ickesburg, May 14. 1872. JNSURE IN THE MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY OF NEW YORK. F. 8. WiKBTOK, President. The oldest and strongest Company In the United States. Assets over Uo,ouo,00o lu cash. 8. a, 811ULER, Agent. Liverpool, Pa. 8 44131. fi!f HAH TO BE CREDITED TO &4:,VJUVJ MUTUAL POLICY HOLDERS. The Pennsylvania Central Insurance Company havliiK had but Utile loss during the post year, the annual assessment on Mutual Policy holders will not exceed per cent ou the usual one year cash rales, which would be equal to a dividend of 40 per cent., as calculated In Slock Companies, or a deduction of 2 per cent., on the notes below the usual assessment: and as the Coimtany has over 1410,000 In premium notes, the whole amount cred ited to mutual policy holders, over cash rates, will amount to II, mil. Had the same pollcy-holdeis in sured In a Block Company, at the usual rate, they would huve paid 14,000 more than It has cost them in this Company. Yet some of our neighbor agents are running about crying Fruud I Fraud I and declare that a mutual company must full. Rut they don't say how many stock companies are falling every year, or how muny worthless stock companies are represented lu Perry County tk day. It is a well known act that a Mutual Company eanuot break. JAMES II. GRIER, 25tf Sec'y of Peuu'a Central Insurance Co. 4. U. eiBVIN. I. H. OIWVIR J M. UIltVIN & BOX, OommlMMlon 3Ierolinnt, No. 8, KPEAR'B WHARF, II u 1 1 1 in o r e , M 1 . ' IVWi will pay strl.'t attention to the sale of all Vlmis of country produce, and remit the amounts promptly. ft ally An Amusing Letter. Doestlcks as a "Striker." riIIE following humorous letter from JL "Doesticks," illustrates the beauties of "strikers." I've gone luto a now business, and I tell you it's a big thing by all odds the best investment I ever made. I'm a profession al "striker." I don't mean a political " striker" one of thoso follows wlioget up Target Shoots, and Presentations, and Ex cursions, and who " strike" the various candidates for office just before election for the cash wherewith to pay for all these things. No, no. I'm a different animal altogether. I'm proud of my trade, too, for it is one I invented myself. You see, I'd read a great deal in the pa pers about the strikes of the gasmen, the horseshoers, the bootmakers, the car-drivers, and all the rest of the follows, and how all these chaps have societies with huge reserve funds, out of which they pay their members out of work full wages until somebody gives in. Then 1 thought how glorious it would be to be a mechanic always on strike, getting full pay and never doing any work. The next thing was to put my plan into execution. By dint of pawning every per sonal possession not absolutely necessary to my appearance in the street, I raised (20. That day the Horseshoers were going to parade. Just as they were about start ing, twenty-seven non-socioty men pre sented themselves and asked to be admitted to membership. Need I assure you that I was one of that illustrious two dozen aud a quarter? We were received with cheers and assigned a place in the procession. That night I was initiated into tho " Union." Now, I can no more shoe a horse thau I could build a new tail for a disabled mermaid, but by a careful watch ing of what the other fellows said, and a judicious and convenient deafness when asked something that I didn't know any thing about, I pulled through. Having paid my (5 initiation fee, behold me a journeyman horseshoer. I, that don't know whether a horseshoe is round or square, whether it'fastens on with buttons or strings, or has india-rubber sides like a Congress gaiter. I, that couldn't coax a horse to lie down on his back and lot me tie hisshoes on, even if they wore all ready made to my hands. Behold me, I say, a full-fledged maker of adult horses' shoes, also marcs' and equine misses' gaiters and slippers. When the time came, I got up and speeched a few. I insisted on resisting to the last tho demands of our employers talked about the dignity of labor, the tyr anny of capital and all the rest of it and ended it by saying that I had just paid my last (5 for my initiation, but that I would starve till next meeting, or live on free lunches till " bounced" out by indignant barkeepers, rather than give in. My touching appeal commanded instant sympathy. A brother horseshoer, with tears in his eyes, .moved that the newly re ceived member have his fees remitted till a more convenient season, and that half a week's allowance be paid him in advance, to save a respectable workman from froe lunch igominy. It was unanimously car ried. As I am a first-class workman, I am entitled to 21 a week, so I was handed my 115.60 after which we attended to the re freshments. During the strike we have had special meetings every night, and by carefully manoeuvring a fictitious . starving wife, three sisters, and eight children; having a supposititious sick and destitute grand mother in the far West, to take care of ; being compelled to bury an imaginary cou sin in Jersey, and insisting that I bad three times bad my pocket picked on the Third avenue cars, I have extracted from the brotherhood already $211.73, and the mine isn't worked out yet. Nor was the game played out yot. I heard the gasmen in Brooklyn were going to strike. Instautly I repaired thither, joined the Union, wliioh cost me (10. Wo have now been on strike two weeks, and I have received (44. I haven't played my relations on them yet, but I shall touch them up with a wife and children and star ving sisters to-night. If they stand this, I'll invent a brother in Minnesota, with both feet and the end of his nose frozen off, who must . be immediately removed to a milder climate or die. This I consider good for at least (75. From the Journeymen Bootmakers' Union I have only received (30 up to date. Tba bosses came down too quick. My membership of the Tailors' Protec tive Association has as yet been all outlay, but we're hoping to strike next week. I wont for the Coopers' Union, and, al though I hardly know a lager beer hogs head from a flam keg, and couldn't toll how to go to work to make so simple thing as a common bung-hole, I got in. The strike was nearly over, however, and I've only reocved for my (5 about (45. I hold my relations in reserve as yet. I am a candidate for admission to half a dozen other protective unions, aud as there are always some of them on strike, summer and winter, I look forward to an easy, not to say luxurious life in the future. Of course, I have different names. As a blacksmith, I am John Miller; as a cooper, I'm Peter Martin ; the tailors know me as Tobias Peters, &c, &o. I sometimes get my aliases mixed, and not seldom confound the members of my lodges by addressing a horseshoer in the tailors' slang, or inquir ing about the coopering business of" a gas men. This will, I hope, wear off in time. When any brother wants to know in what shop I'm at work, why, I'm always just re. turned from Maryland, or have just got a splendid ofl'or in Maine. I rely upon you to keep this matter a profound socret. Hopefully, Q. K. Pnil.ANDKR Dokbtickb, P. B. Pulpit Gravity. A MINISTER was preaching to a large congregation in one of the Southern States, on the certainty of a future judg ment. In the gallery sat a colored girl with a white child in her arms, which she was dancing up and down with commen dable effort, to make baby observe the proprieties of the place. The preacher was too much interested in his subject to notice the occasional noise of the infant ; and at the right point in his discourse, threw him self into an interesting attitude, as though he had suddenly heard the first nolo of the trump of doom, and looking towards that part of the church where tho girl with the baby in her arms was sitting, he asked, in a low, deep voice : " What is that I hear? Bofore he recovered from the oratorical pause, so as to answer his own question, the colored girl responded, in a mortified tone of voice, but loud enough to catch the ears of the entire congregation : " I don'no, sa, I spec' it is dis here chile; but indeed, sa, I has been a doin' all I could to keep him from 'sturbin' you." It is easy to imaging that this unexpect ed rejoinder took the tragic out of the preacher in the shortest time imaginable ; aud that the solemnity of that judgment day sermon was not a little diminished by the event. , Another instance ; equally confounding to the minister, happened, we believe, in Richmond, Va. A large congregation had assembled to hear a stranger of some no toriety. Soon after he had introduced his subject, the cry of "fire 1 fire 1" in the street very much disturbed the congrega tion, and many were about to retire, when an elderly brother rose and said : " If the congregation will be composed, I will stop out and see if there is any fire near, and report." The congregation became composed, and the minister proceeded. Taking advan tage of the occurrence, he called atten tion to a fire that would consume the world 1 a fire that would burn forever in the lake that is liottomless ; and had just concluded a sentence of terrible import, and not without manifest impression on his audience, when a voice from the other end of the church, as if in a flat denial of all he had said, bawled out : " It's a false alarm !" The effect was ludicrous in tho extreme. The old man had returned ; but his inop portune response spoiled the effect of the eloquent appeal from the pulpit, and even the preacher could scarce refrain from join ing in the universal smile .that passed over the congregation. Rev. Mr. S. was preaching in ono of the Methodist Episcopal churches in ' New York, and there was in attendance a good old Methodist brother, very much given to responses. Sometimes these responses were not always appropriate, but thoy were always woll meant. The preacher usually lucid, was rather perplexed, and folt it himself. He labored through his first part, and then said ; " Brethren, I have now reached tho con clusion of my first point." " Thank God 1" piously ejaculatod the old man, who sat before him, profoundly interested ; but the unexpected response, and the suggestive power of it, so confused the preacher, that it waa with difficulty he could rally himself to a continuance of his discourse. Epistolary Brevity. LORD BERKELEY, wishing to ap prise the Duke of Dorest of his chang ed condition, wrote : " Dear Dorest : I have just been married, and am the hap piest dog alive. Berkeley." His interest ing news being acknowledged with: " Dear Berkeley; Every dog has his day. Dorest." Mr. Kendall, some time Undo Sam's Postmaster-General, wanting some information as to the source of a river, sent the follow ing note to a village postmaster t " Sir : This department desires to know bow far the Tomblgbee River runs op? Respectfully yours, &o." By return mail came : Sir : The Tomblgbee does not run up at all ; it runs down. Very respectfully, yours,&e." Kendall, not appreciating his subordinate's humor, wrote again : "Sir; Your appoint ment as poetmastor is revokod ; you will turn over the funds, &o., pertaining to your successor." Not at all disturbed by his summary dismissal, the postmaster re plied, "Sir : The revenues of this office for the quarter ending September 80 have boen 05c; its expenditures, same period, foi tal low candles and twine, (1.05. I trust my successor is instructed to adjust the bal lance." His superior officer was probably as much disgusted with his precise corres pondent as the American editor who, writing to a Connecticut brother : " Send full particulars of tho flood" meaning an innundation at that place received for re ply you will find them in Genesis." A good specimen of brevity is the order received by a commissariat officer named Brown from a Col. Boyd, which could scarcely have been couched in fewer words than : " Brown : Boof. Boyd," tho Colonel re ceiving his supplies with a line running: " Boyd : Beef. Brown." Talleyrand acknowledged a pathetic letter from a lady friend announcing her widowhood, with a note of two words : " Helas 1 Madame 1" And when the easily consoled dame wrote not very long after wards soliciting his influence 041 behalf of an officer she was about to marry, he merely, replied, "Ho! hoi Madame 1" More satisfactory to the recipient was Lord Eldou's note to his friend, Dr. Fisher, of the Charterhouse: "Dear Fisher: lean not to-day give you the proferment for which you ask. Your sincere friend. Eldon. (Turn over) I gave it to you yesterday." Pleasant to all parties con cerned was the correspondence between the Archbishop of York and the bishop of Cork: "Dear Cork: Please ordain Stan hope. York"" " Dear York : Stanhope is ordained. Cork." Hints to Owners of Watches. A watch is a most delicate machine, aud a very little thing is enough to damage its system, and make it go too fast or too slow or to arrest tho motion of its wheels, and it is just that very little thing that you don't take any notice of. Show us a watch and wo'll toll you what are the habits of its owner. A person of irregular habits will spoil the best watch in the world. Careless and inexact people will have watches that go fast or slow or go both too fast and too slow by turns. If you can't be steady and regular in your habits, you need not expect to have a watch that you can rely on. All the best watch-makers in the world will be unable to give your watch that reg ularity which is lacking in yourself, and which you cannot, therefore, preserve in your watch, and which you destroy as fast as the watch is regulated. For a watch should be wound up every day at the same hour, and as soon as possible in the morn ing. And the best occasion for doing this is when tho minute-hand marks seven, or ten minutes after the hour-hand has marked the hour. The operation of winding up a watch should never be performed carelessly or roughly ; but, on the contrary, with great precaution, especially at the moment when you give the final turn to the key. Then you should gently moderate the movement so as not to wind the watch up too tight. You should always take good care to fit the key perfectly into the keyhole before commencing. It is not a good plan to carry the key about with you, unless it is kept in a case ; and never carry it loose in your pocket, as it is liable to got dust into it, which you will introduce into the watch, from time to time, in winding it up, to its groat detri ment. Never, under any circumstances but those of extreme necessity, open the inte rior compartment that which contains the machinery of tho watch. ' In winding up the watch the hand which holds it should remain perfectly steady and without motion. The hands may be advanced or set back when necessary, without any harm being done to the watch, although contrary to the popular notion on the subject. The difference of temperature or the hab it which some have of carrying the watch about the person for a period, and again leaving it motionless for a groat length of time on some piece of furniture, may cause a slight irregularity in the best watch. Whether the hands are advanced or set back we should never touch the regulator as long as the defect is trifling. The crystal case of the watch should never be opened, except by the watch-maker. By keeping these rules in mind, and putting them in practlco, people would have less trouble with their watches, and far less need of the services of a watch maker. Married Himself. One of tho queerest old fellows among the first settlors in Boston was Governor Bellingham. There are many curious sto ries told about lyhn, but the most singular is mat respecting ins marriage, it is rela ted by Governor Winthrop in his diary,and was written at the time the affair took place, Bellingham was Governor of the Colony of Massachusetts Bay in 1041. He was fifty years old. There was then a young lady in Boston named PeQelope Pel bam, who was twenty-two years of age and was engaged to be married to a young man who was a friend of the Governor, and liv ed in the Governor's bouse. By what arts we know not, but it is certain that the Gov ernor persuaded Miss Penelope that he lov ed her best, and so one day, while the young man supposed that his sweetheart was true to him, the Governor and the young lady were married. But the singu lar part of it was, that as the Governor wanted to keep his little affair secret, and perhaps because ho oould think of no cler gyman to perform the ceremony, he mar ried himself I We may Imagine the old Governor standing up before himself and Miss Pclham, and going through the ser vico in the Puritan style. " Do you, Richard, take Penelope," says Governor Bellingham, " to be your wife?" " I do," replied Richard to himself as Gov ernor. "Do you, Penelope, take Richard to be your husband ?" " I do," feobly re plies tho little flirt. "Then," says Gover Bollingham, " I pronounce myself and you husband and wife, according to the rules of the Christian Church and the laws of the Proviuco of Massachusetts Bay." The ceromony is over, and the Governor salutes the bride and hopes she will be happy with hor husband. It may be said here that she was happy with him, and they lived to gether more than thirty years. Mrs. Bel linghaVn survived her husband thirty years, and died in 1702, nt the advanced age of eighty-three years. The Date Harvest. Only the female trees bear fruit, and this only when they are impregnated with dust from the males, which is consequently done artificially. The male palms are of ten tied up and blanched to be cut for the Palm Sunday festivals, and they are also sold to be stuck up in balconies as a pro tection against lightning, being considered quite as efficacious and being certainly much cheaper than an iron conductor. 2,000 worth are sold annually in Eloho for this purpose, and 14,000 worth of dates. The latter were being gathered during our visit (January) by the clever horelanoi,'vrho climb the branchless trunks like cats, a rope being passed round it and their waists, upon which they rest their whole weight in a horizontal position, low ering the! baskets when filled and raising them again by a pulley. Tho defective palm leaves arc sent to manufactories and used as cigarettes. By tho roadside, before every cottage door, are quantities of dates in baskets, no one watching them ; any1 passer-by may eat as many as he likes, fill his pockets, and leave his half-penny in payment. It is generally left, for where Spaniards are trusted they scarcely evor abuse a trust. When we walked in the groves the hospitable peasants were only too anxious to load us with the best branch es of the fruit, and would accept no pay ment at all. " Wanderings in Spain." Fashionable Women. Speaking of fashionable women, tho Lon don Lancet has lately had some very sound remarks in the same strain. "Fashion," it says, " kills more than toil or sorrow. Obedience to fashion is a greater transgres sion of the laws of woman's nature, a . greater injury to her physical and mental constitution, than the hardships of poverty and neglect. The slave-woman at her task still lives and grows old, and sees two or three generations of her mistresses pass away. The washer-woman, with scarcely a rny of hope to cheer her in her toils, will live to see ber fashionable sisters all extinct. The kitchen-maid is hearty aud strong, when her lady has to be nursed like a sick baby. It is a sad truth that fashion-pampered women are worthless for all good ends of life ; they have but little force of char acter ; they have still less power of moral will, and quite as little physical energy. They live for no great ends. They are dolls, formed in the hands of milliners and ser vants, to be fed to order. If they have children, servants and nurses do all save to " conceive and give them birth ; and when" reared what are they? What do they amount to but weak scions of old stock ? Who ever beard of a fashiouable woman's child exhibiting any virtue and powor of mind for which it became eminent? Read the biographies of our good men and women. None of them had a fashionable mother." Before telegraph operators became so expert as at present, ludicrous blunders were of frequent occuirence, from the ne cessary ambiguity in transmitting one let ter at a time. A manager of a telegraph company gives an instance of recent occur rence upon the line betwoon Boston and New York. A gentleman sent a dispatch requesting parties in New York to forward sample forks by express. When the mes sage was delivered, it read thus : ' " Forward sample K. 8." The parties who received it replied by asking what sample K. S. wanted. Of course the gentleman came to the office and complained that the dispatch had been transmitted incorrectly, and the operator promised to repeat it Accordingly he tel egraphed the New York operator that the dispatch should have read, 1 "Forward sample forks." The New York operator having read it wrong In the first instance, oould not deci pher it differently now. He replied that he did read it sample K. S., and so delivered, it. "But," returned the Boston operator, "I did not say for K. 8., but f-o-r-k-s 1" " What a stupid fellow that is iu Boston !" exclaimed the New York operator. "He says he didn't say for K. 8., but for K. 8." The Boston operator tried for an hour to make the New York operator read it forks, but not succeeding, ho wrote the dispatch upon a yleco of paper, and forwarded it by mail, and it remained a standing joke upon , the line for many mouths afterwards.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers