Qlje-Straws, Nctu Blooiufwlu, f)a.
3
FEItttY COUHfTl
Meal Estate, Insurance,
ADD
C3L.AXTSS. AGENCY.
LEWIS POTTER & CO.,
Seal Estate Broken, Insurance, t Claim Agent
Now Uloomfick, Pti.
WE INVITE the attention of buyers and sell
ers to the advantages we offer tliem In pur
chasing or disponing of real estate through our of
fice. We have a very large llstof deslrab property,
consisting of farms, town property, mills, store
and tavern stands, and real estute of any descrip
tion which we are prepared to olf er at great bar.
fialns. We advertise our property very extensive
y, and use all our efforts, skill, and dilllgence to
effect a Bale. We make no charges unless tht
property is sold while registered with us. We also
draw up deeds, bonds, mortgages, andall legal pa
pers at moderate rates.
Some of the best, cheapest, and most reliable
fire, life, and cattle insurance companies in the
United States are represented at this agency.
Property Insured either on the cash or mutual
plan, and perpetually at 14 and Jfl per thousand.
Pensions, bounties, and all kinds of war claims
collected. There are thousands of soldiers and
lielrs of soldiers who are entitled to pensions and
bounty, who have never made application, ttol
diers, if you were wounded, ruptured, orcontract
ed a disease In the service from which you are dis
abled, you are entitled to a pension.
When widows of soldlersdfe ormarry.the minor
Children are entitled to the pension.
Parties having any business to transact In our
line, are respectfully Invited to give us a call, as
we are confident we can render satisfaction in any
branch of our business.
r No charge for information.
4201y LEWIS POTTER & CO.
Neiv Millinery Goods
AX Newport, Fa.
I BEG to Inform the public that I have Just re
turned from Philadelphia, with a lul assort
ment of the latest styles of
MILLINERY GOODS.
HATS AND BONNETS,
RIDBONS, FRENCH FLOWERS
FEATHERS,
CHIGNONS.
LACE CAPES.
NOTIONS, .
And all articles usually found in a first-class Mil
linery Establishment. All orders promptly at
tended to. WWe will sell all goods as Cheap as
can be got elsewhere .
DRESS MAKING done to order and In the la
test style, as I get the latest Fashions from New
York every month, (loitering done to order, in
all widths. I will warrant all my work to give sat
isfaction. All work done as low as possible.
ANNIE ICKES,
Cherry Street, near the Station,
6 16 13 Newport, Pa.
CARLISLE CARRIAGE FACTORY.
A. B. SIIEBK
has a large lot ol second-hand work on
hand, which he will sell cheap in order
to muxe room ior new worn,
FOR THE SPRING TRADE.
He has. also, the best lot of
NEW WORK ON HAND.
You can always see different styles. The material
Is not In question any more, for it is the best used.
It you want satisfaction In style, quality and
price, go to this shop before purchasing elsewhere.
T here Is no hrm that has a better Trade, or sells
more In Cumberland and Perry counties.
'REPAIRING AND PAINTING
promptly attended to. Factory Corner of South
and Pitt Streets,
3 dp CARLISLE, PA.
Farmers Take Notice.
fJHE subscriber offers for Sale
THRES.IIING MACHINES. JACKS and HORSE
POWER, With Tumbling Shaft, and Slde-Gearlng, Warrant
ed to give satisfaction in speedy and perfect
threshing, light draft and durability, on reasona
ble terms. Also
I Hi O U G I H
Of Superior Make.
CORN 8HELLEHS,
KETTLES,
STOVES.
SCOOPS
AND ALL CA8TINGS,
made at a country Foundry. Also,
A GOOD MILL SCREW,
in excellent order, for sale at a low rate.
I refer those wishing to buy to John Adams,
Samuel Hliuinan, John Iloden, Ross Hench, at
Ickesburg. Jacob Shoemaker it Son, Klllntts
burg; Thomas Morrow, Loysvllle; John Fllcklng
er, Jacob FUckinger, Centre. 620 13
SAMUEL LIGGETT.
Ickesburg, May 14. 1872.
JNSURE IN THE
MUTUAL
LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY
OF
NEW YORK.
F. 8. WiKBTOK, President.
The oldest and strongest Company In the United
States. Assets over Uo,ouo,00o lu cash.
8. a, 811ULER, Agent.
Liverpool, Pa.
8 44131.
fi!f HAH TO BE CREDITED TO
&4:,VJUVJ MUTUAL POLICY HOLDERS.
The Pennsylvania Central Insurance Company
havliiK had but Utile loss during the post year, the
annual assessment on Mutual Policy holders will
not exceed per cent ou the usual one year cash
rales, which would be equal to a dividend of 40
per cent., as calculated In Slock Companies, or a
deduction of 2 per cent., on the notes below the
usual assessment: and as the Coimtany has over
1410,000 In premium notes, the whole amount cred
ited to mutual policy holders, over cash rates, will
amount to II, mil. Had the same pollcy-holdeis in
sured In a Block Company, at the usual rate, they
would huve paid 14,000 more than It has cost them
in this Company. Yet some of our neighbor
agents are running about crying Fruud I Fraud I
and declare that a mutual company must full.
Rut they don't say how many stock companies are
falling every year, or how muny worthless stock
companies are represented lu Perry County
tk day.
It is a well known act that a Mutual Company
eanuot break.
JAMES II. GRIER,
25tf Sec'y of Peuu'a Central Insurance Co.
4. U. eiBVIN. I. H. OIWVIR
J M. UIltVIN & BOX,
OommlMMlon 3Ierolinnt,
No. 8, KPEAR'B WHARF,
II u 1 1 1 in o r e , M 1 . '
IVWi will pay strl.'t attention to the sale of all
Vlmis of country produce, and remit the amounts
promptly. ft ally
An Amusing Letter.
Doestlcks as a "Striker."
riIIE following humorous letter from
JL "Doesticks," illustrates the beauties
of "strikers."
I've gone luto a now business, and I tell
you it's a big thing by all odds the best
investment I ever made. I'm a profession
al "striker." I don't mean a political
" striker" one of thoso follows wlioget up
Target Shoots, and Presentations, and Ex
cursions, and who " strike" the various
candidates for office just before election for
the cash wherewith to pay for all these
things. No, no. I'm a different animal
altogether. I'm proud of my trade, too,
for it is one I invented myself.
You see, I'd read a great deal in the pa
pers about the strikes of the gasmen, the
horseshoers, the bootmakers, the car-drivers,
and all the rest of the follows, and
how all these chaps have societies with
huge reserve funds, out of which they pay
their members out of work full wages until
somebody gives in. Then 1 thought how
glorious it would be to be a mechanic always
on strike, getting full pay and never doing
any work.
The next thing was to put my plan into
execution. By dint of pawning every per
sonal possession not absolutely necessary
to my appearance in the street, I raised
(20. That day the Horseshoers were going
to parade. Just as they were about start
ing, twenty-seven non-socioty men pre
sented themselves and asked to be admitted
to membership. Need I assure you that
I was one of that illustrious two dozen aud
a quarter? We were received with cheers
and assigned a place in the procession.
That night I was initiated into tho
" Union." Now, I can no more shoe a
horse thau I could build a new tail for a
disabled mermaid, but by a careful watch
ing of what the other fellows said, and a
judicious and convenient deafness when
asked something that I didn't know any
thing about, I pulled through.
Having paid my (5 initiation fee, behold
me a journeyman horseshoer. I, that don't
know whether a horseshoe is round or
square, whether it'fastens on with buttons
or strings, or has india-rubber sides like a
Congress gaiter. I, that couldn't coax a
horse to lie down on his back and lot me
tie hisshoes on, even if they wore all ready
made to my hands. Behold me, I say, a
full-fledged maker of adult horses' shoes,
also marcs' and equine misses' gaiters and
slippers.
When the time came, I got up and
speeched a few. I insisted on resisting to
the last tho demands of our employers
talked about the dignity of labor, the tyr
anny of capital and all the rest of it and
ended it by saying that I had just paid my
last (5 for my initiation, but that I would
starve till next meeting, or live on free
lunches till " bounced" out by indignant
barkeepers, rather than give in.
My touching appeal commanded instant
sympathy. A brother horseshoer, with
tears in his eyes, .moved that the newly re
ceived member have his fees remitted till
a more convenient season, and that half a
week's allowance be paid him in advance,
to save a respectable workman from froe
lunch igominy. It was unanimously car
ried. As I am a first-class workman, I am
entitled to 21 a week, so I was handed my
115.60 after which we attended to the re
freshments. During the strike we have had special
meetings every night, and by carefully
manoeuvring a fictitious . starving wife,
three sisters, and eight children; having a
supposititious sick and destitute grand
mother in the far West, to take care of ;
being compelled to bury an imaginary cou
sin in Jersey, and insisting that I bad three
times bad my pocket picked on the Third
avenue cars, I have extracted from the
brotherhood already $211.73, and the mine
isn't worked out yet.
Nor was the game played out yot. I
heard the gasmen in Brooklyn were going
to strike. Instautly I repaired thither,
joined the Union, wliioh cost me (10. Wo
have now been on strike two weeks, and
I have received (44. I haven't played my
relations on them yet, but I shall touch
them up with a wife and children and star
ving sisters to-night. If they stand this,
I'll invent a brother in Minnesota, with
both feet and the end of his nose frozen off,
who must . be immediately removed to a
milder climate or die. This I consider
good for at least (75.
From the Journeymen Bootmakers'
Union I have only received (30 up to date.
Tba bosses came down too quick.
My membership of the Tailors' Protec
tive Association has as yet been all outlay,
but we're hoping to strike next week.
I wont for the Coopers' Union, and, al
though I hardly know a lager beer hogs
head from a flam keg, and couldn't toll
how to go to work to make so simple
thing as a common bung-hole, I got in.
The strike was nearly over, however, and
I've only reocved for my (5 about (45. I
hold my relations in reserve as yet.
I am a candidate for admission to half a
dozen other protective unions, aud as there
are always some of them on strike, summer
and winter, I look forward to an easy, not
to say luxurious life in the future.
Of course, I have different names. As a
blacksmith, I am John Miller; as a cooper,
I'm Peter Martin ; the tailors know me as
Tobias Peters, &c, &o. I sometimes get
my aliases mixed, and not seldom confound
the members of my lodges by addressing a
horseshoer in the tailors' slang, or inquir
ing about the coopering business of" a gas
men. This will, I hope, wear off in time.
When any brother wants to know in what
shop I'm at work, why, I'm always just re.
turned from Maryland, or have just got a
splendid ofl'or in Maine.
I rely upon you to keep this matter a
profound socret. Hopefully,
Q. K. Pnil.ANDKR Dokbtickb, P. B.
Pulpit Gravity.
A MINISTER was preaching to a large
congregation in one of the Southern
States, on the certainty of a future judg
ment. In the gallery sat a colored girl
with a white child in her arms, which she
was dancing up and down with commen
dable effort, to make baby observe the
proprieties of the place. The preacher was
too much interested in his subject to notice
the occasional noise of the infant ; and at
the right point in his discourse, threw him
self into an interesting attitude, as though
he had suddenly heard the first nolo of
the trump of doom, and looking towards
that part of the church where tho girl with
the baby in her arms was sitting, he asked,
in a low, deep voice :
" What is that I hear?
Bofore he recovered from the oratorical
pause, so as to answer his own question,
the colored girl responded, in a mortified
tone of voice, but loud enough to catch the
ears of the entire congregation :
" I don'no, sa, I spec' it is dis here chile;
but indeed, sa, I has been a doin' all I
could to keep him from 'sturbin' you."
It is easy to imaging that this unexpect
ed rejoinder took the tragic out of the
preacher in the shortest time imaginable ;
aud that the solemnity of that judgment
day sermon was not a little diminished by
the event. ,
Another instance ; equally confounding
to the minister, happened, we believe, in
Richmond, Va. A large congregation had
assembled to hear a stranger of some no
toriety. Soon after he had introduced his
subject, the cry of "fire 1 fire 1" in the
street very much disturbed the congrega
tion, and many were about to retire, when
an elderly brother rose and said :
" If the congregation will be composed,
I will stop out and see if there is any fire
near, and report."
The congregation became composed, and
the minister proceeded. Taking advan
tage of the occurrence, he called atten
tion to a fire that would consume the
world 1 a fire that would burn forever in
the lake that is liottomless ; and had just
concluded a sentence of terrible import,
and not without manifest impression on his
audience, when a voice from the other end
of the church, as if in a flat denial of all
he had said, bawled out :
" It's a false alarm !"
The effect was ludicrous in tho extreme.
The old man had returned ; but his inop
portune response spoiled the effect of the
eloquent appeal from the pulpit, and even
the preacher could scarce refrain from join
ing in the universal smile .that passed over
the congregation.
Rev. Mr. S. was preaching in ono of the
Methodist Episcopal churches in ' New
York, and there was in attendance a good
old Methodist brother, very much given
to responses. Sometimes these responses
were not always appropriate, but thoy were
always woll meant. The preacher usually
lucid, was rather perplexed, and folt it
himself. He labored through his first part,
and then said ;
" Brethren, I have now reached tho con
clusion of my first point."
" Thank God 1" piously ejaculatod the
old man, who sat before him, profoundly
interested ; but the unexpected response,
and the suggestive power of it, so confused
the preacher, that it waa with difficulty he
could rally himself to a continuance of his
discourse.
Epistolary Brevity.
LORD BERKELEY, wishing to ap
prise the Duke of Dorest of his chang
ed condition, wrote : " Dear Dorest : I
have just been married, and am the hap
piest dog alive. Berkeley." His interest
ing news being acknowledged with: " Dear
Berkeley; Every dog has his day. Dorest."
Mr. Kendall, some time Undo Sam's Postmaster-General,
wanting some information
as to the source of a river, sent the follow
ing note to a village postmaster t " Sir :
This department desires to know bow far
the Tomblgbee River runs op? Respectfully
yours, &o." By return mail came : Sir :
The Tomblgbee does not run up at all ; it
runs down. Very respectfully, yours,&e."
Kendall, not appreciating his subordinate's
humor, wrote again : "Sir; Your appoint
ment as poetmastor is revokod ; you will
turn over the funds, &o., pertaining to
your successor." Not at all disturbed by
his summary dismissal, the postmaster re
plied, "Sir : The revenues of this office for
the quarter ending September 80 have boen
05c; its expenditures, same period, foi tal
low candles and twine, (1.05. I trust my
successor is instructed to adjust the bal
lance." His superior officer was probably
as much disgusted with his precise corres
pondent as the American editor who,
writing to a Connecticut brother : " Send
full particulars of tho flood" meaning an
innundation at that place received for re
ply you will find them in Genesis." A good
specimen of brevity is the order received
by a commissariat officer named Brown
from a Col. Boyd, which could scarcely
have been couched in fewer words than :
" Brown : Boof. Boyd," tho Colonel re
ceiving his supplies with a line running:
" Boyd : Beef. Brown."
Talleyrand acknowledged a pathetic
letter from a lady friend announcing her
widowhood, with a note of two words :
" Helas 1 Madame 1" And when the easily
consoled dame wrote not very long after
wards soliciting his influence 041 behalf of
an officer she was about to marry, he
merely, replied, "Ho! hoi Madame 1"
More satisfactory to the recipient was Lord
Eldou's note to his friend, Dr. Fisher, of
the Charterhouse: "Dear Fisher: lean
not to-day give you the proferment for
which you ask. Your sincere friend.
Eldon. (Turn over) I gave it to you
yesterday." Pleasant to all parties con
cerned was the correspondence between
the Archbishop of York and the bishop of
Cork: "Dear Cork: Please ordain Stan
hope. York"" " Dear York : Stanhope
is ordained. Cork."
Hints to Owners of Watches.
A watch is a most delicate machine, aud
a very little thing is enough to damage its
system, and make it go too fast or too slow
or to arrest tho motion of its wheels, and
it is just that very little thing that you
don't take any notice of. Show us a watch
and wo'll toll you what are the habits of its
owner.
A person of irregular habits will spoil the
best watch in the world. Careless and
inexact people will have watches that go
fast or slow or go both too fast and too
slow by turns. If you can't be steady and
regular in your habits, you need not expect
to have a watch that you can rely on.
All the best watch-makers in the world
will be unable to give your watch that reg
ularity which is lacking in yourself, and
which you cannot, therefore, preserve in
your watch, and which you destroy as fast
as the watch is regulated. For a watch
should be wound up every day at the same
hour, and as soon as possible in the morn
ing. And the best occasion for doing this
is when tho minute-hand marks seven, or
ten minutes after the hour-hand has marked
the hour.
The operation of winding up a watch
should never be performed carelessly or
roughly ; but, on the contrary, with great
precaution, especially at the moment when
you give the final turn to the key. Then
you should gently moderate the movement
so as not to wind the watch up too tight.
You should always take good care to fit
the key perfectly into the keyhole before
commencing.
It is not a good plan to carry the key
about with you, unless it is kept in a case ;
and never carry it loose in your pocket, as
it is liable to got dust into it, which you
will introduce into the watch, from time to
time, in winding it up, to its groat detri
ment. Never, under any circumstances but
those of extreme necessity, open the inte
rior compartment that which contains the
machinery of tho watch. '
In winding up the watch the hand which
holds it should remain perfectly steady and
without motion.
The hands may be advanced or set back
when necessary, without any harm being
done to the watch, although contrary to
the popular notion on the subject.
The difference of temperature or the hab
it which some have of carrying the watch
about the person for a period, and again
leaving it motionless for a groat length of
time on some piece of furniture, may cause
a slight irregularity in the best watch.
Whether the hands are advanced or set
back we should never touch the regulator
as long as the defect is trifling.
The crystal case of the watch should
never be opened, except by the watch-maker.
By keeping these rules in mind, and
putting them in practlco, people would
have less trouble with their watches, and
far less need of the services of a watch
maker.
Married Himself.
One of tho queerest old fellows among
the first settlors in Boston was Governor
Bellingham. There are many curious sto
ries told about lyhn, but the most singular
is mat respecting ins marriage, it is rela
ted by Governor Winthrop in his diary,and
was written at the time the affair took
place, Bellingham was Governor of the
Colony of Massachusetts Bay in 1041. He
was fifty years old. There was then a
young lady in Boston named PeQelope Pel
bam, who was twenty-two years of age and
was engaged to be married to a young man
who was a friend of the Governor, and liv
ed in the Governor's bouse. By what arts
we know not, but it is certain that the Gov
ernor persuaded Miss Penelope that he lov
ed her best, and so one day, while the
young man supposed that his sweetheart
was true to him, the Governor and the
young lady were married. But the singu
lar part of it was, that as the Governor
wanted to keep his little affair secret, and
perhaps because ho oould think of no cler
gyman to perform the ceremony, he mar
ried himself I We may Imagine the old
Governor standing up before himself and
Miss Pclham, and going through the ser
vico in the Puritan style.
" Do you, Richard, take Penelope," says
Governor Bellingham, " to be your wife?"
" I do," replied Richard to himself as Gov
ernor. "Do you, Penelope, take Richard
to be your husband ?" " I do," feobly re
plies tho little flirt. "Then," says Gover
Bollingham, " I pronounce myself and you
husband and wife, according to the rules of
the Christian Church and the laws of the
Proviuco of Massachusetts Bay." The
ceromony is over, and the Governor salutes
the bride and hopes she will be happy with
hor husband. It may be said here that she
was happy with him, and they lived to
gether more than thirty years. Mrs. Bel
linghaVn survived her husband thirty years,
and died in 1702, nt the advanced age of
eighty-three years.
The Date Harvest.
Only the female trees bear fruit, and
this only when they are impregnated with
dust from the males, which is consequently
done artificially. The male palms are of
ten tied up and blanched to be cut for the
Palm Sunday festivals, and they are also
sold to be stuck up in balconies as a pro
tection against lightning, being considered
quite as efficacious and being certainly
much cheaper than an iron conductor.
2,000 worth are sold annually in Eloho
for this purpose, and 14,000 worth of
dates. The latter were being gathered
during our visit (January) by the clever
horelanoi,'vrho climb the branchless trunks
like cats, a rope being passed round it and
their waists, upon which they rest their
whole weight in a horizontal position, low
ering the! baskets when filled and raising
them again by a pulley. Tho defective
palm leaves arc sent to manufactories and
used as cigarettes. By tho roadside, before
every cottage door, are quantities of dates
in baskets, no one watching them ; any1
passer-by may eat as many as he likes, fill
his pockets, and leave his half-penny in
payment. It is generally left, for where
Spaniards are trusted they scarcely evor
abuse a trust. When we walked in the
groves the hospitable peasants were only
too anxious to load us with the best branch
es of the fruit, and would accept no pay
ment at all. " Wanderings in Spain."
Fashionable Women.
Speaking of fashionable women, tho Lon
don Lancet has lately had some very sound
remarks in the same strain. "Fashion,"
it says, " kills more than toil or sorrow.
Obedience to fashion is a greater transgres
sion of the laws of woman's nature, a .
greater injury to her physical and mental
constitution, than the hardships of poverty
and neglect. The slave-woman at her task
still lives and grows old, and sees two or
three generations of her mistresses pass
away. The washer-woman, with scarcely
a rny of hope to cheer her in her toils, will
live to see ber fashionable sisters all extinct.
The kitchen-maid is hearty aud strong,
when her lady has to be nursed like a sick
baby. It is a sad truth that fashion-pampered
women are worthless for all good ends
of life ; they have but little force of char
acter ; they have still less power of moral
will, and quite as little physical energy.
They live for no great ends. They are dolls,
formed in the hands of milliners and ser
vants, to be fed to order. If they have
children, servants and nurses do all save to "
conceive and give them birth ; and when"
reared what are they? What do they
amount to but weak scions of old stock ?
Who ever beard of a fashiouable woman's
child exhibiting any virtue and powor of
mind for which it became eminent? Read
the biographies of our good men and
women. None of them had a fashionable
mother."
Before telegraph operators became
so expert as at present, ludicrous blunders
were of frequent occuirence, from the ne
cessary ambiguity in transmitting one let
ter at a time. A manager of a telegraph
company gives an instance of recent occur
rence upon the line betwoon Boston and
New York. A gentleman sent a dispatch
requesting parties in New York to forward
sample forks by express. When the mes
sage was delivered, it read thus : '
" Forward sample K. 8."
The parties who received it replied by
asking what sample K. S. wanted. Of
course the gentleman came to the office and
complained that the dispatch had been
transmitted incorrectly, and the operator
promised to repeat it Accordingly he tel
egraphed the New York operator that the
dispatch should have read,
1 "Forward sample forks."
The New York operator having read it
wrong In the first instance, oould not deci
pher it differently now. He replied that he
did read it sample K. S., and so delivered,
it. "But," returned the Boston operator,
"I did not say for K. 8., but f-o-r-k-s 1"
" What a stupid fellow that is iu Boston !"
exclaimed the New York operator. "He
says he didn't say for K. 8., but for K. 8."
The Boston operator tried for an hour to
make the New York operator read it forks,
but not succeeding, ho wrote the dispatch
upon a yleco of paper, and forwarded it by
mail, and it remained a standing joke upon
, the line for many mouths afterwards.