DR. CROOK'S WINE OP TAR '''.)''.. , Has been tested by the public . ,i FOB TKN YEARS. Dr. Crook's Wine of Tar , Renovates and ' Invigorates the entire system. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR , ' Is the very remedy for the Weak and Debilitated. DR. CROOK' S "W INK OF TAR Rapidly restores exhausted Strength I DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Restores the Appetite and Strengthens the Stomach. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR .Causes the food to digest, removing Dyspepsia and Indigestion DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Gives tone and energy to Debilitated Constitutions. (DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR. All recovering from any Illness will find this the best Tonic they can take. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR , Is an effective Regulator of the Liver. OR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Curoa Jaundice, . . or any Liver Complaint. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Makes Delicate Females, who are never feeling Well, Strong and Healthy. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Has restored many Persons who have been unable to work for years. (DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Should be taken if your Stomach is out of Order. Dr. Crook's Wine "of Tar "Will prevent Malarious Fevers, and braces up tho System. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Possesses Vegetable Ingredients which make it the best Tonic in the market. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Has proved itself in thousands of cases capable of curing all diseases of the Throat and Lungs. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Cures all Chronic Coughs, and Coughs and Colds, more effectually than any other remedy. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR tHas Cured cases of Consumption pronounced incurable by physicians. iDR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Has cured so many cases of Asthma and Bronchitis that It has been pronounced a specific for these complaints. XR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Removes Fain In Breast, Side or Back. DR, CROOK'S WINE OF TAR. Should be taken for diseases of the Urinary Organs. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Cures Gravel and Kidnoy Diseases. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR Should be taken for all Throat and Lung Ailments. DR. CROOK'S WINE OF TAR 'Should be kept in every house, and its life giving Tonio ptoporties tried by all. Dr. CROOK'S Compound Syrup of Poke Root, Cures any disease or Eruption on the Skin. DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND SYRUP OF POKE ROOT, Cures Rheumatism and .Fains In Limba, Bones, tc. DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND SYRUP OF POKE ROOT. Builds up Constitutions broken down from Mineral or Mercurial Poisons. DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND SYRUP OF POKE ROOT, Cures all Mercurial Diseases. DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND 3YRUP OF POKE ROOT fihould be taken by all . requiring a remedy to make pure blood. DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND BYRUP OF POKE ROOT, Cures Scald Head, ' Bait Rheum and Tetter. DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND BYRUP OF POKE ROOT, Curos long standing Diseases of the Liver. DR. CROOK'S COMPOUND ." BYRUP OF POKE ROOT, . , " , Removes Syphilis ' or the disease It eutalls mosteffcctually and speedily than ' any and all other .reniediuscoiubuiud. Mfjr . , ; , ' ENIGMA DEPARTMENT. All Contributions to this department? must be accompanied by the correct answer. , ... kv- Answers to enigmas in ( last week's Times i , Enigma Mo. 1 "Buy the truth and sell it ltnot." " ' Enigma No. 2 Northampton, Montgomery, Schuylkill, Huntingdon. A Court Jester. POPULAR traditions in Russia unite In presenting the jester Balakireff as the constant attendant of Peter the Great, who figures largely In all the stories attached to the name of his buffoon. A writer In All On Tear Round gathers up some well authenticated stories of the jester's wit. On one occasion Balaklrcff begged per mission of his imperial master to attach himself to tho guard stationed at the palace, and Peter, for the sake of the joko, con sented warning him at tho same time that any officer of the guard who happened to lose his sword, or to bo absent from his post when summoned, was punished with doath. The newly-mado officer promised to do his best, but the temptation of some good wine sent to his quarters that evening by the czar, "to moisten his commission," proved too strong for him, and ho partook so freely as to become completely " screw ed." While he was sleeping off his debauch, Peter stolo softly into the room and carried off his sword. Balakireff, missing it on awakening, and frightened out of his wits at the probablo consequences, could deviso no better remedy than to replaco the weap on with his own professional sword of lath, the hilt and trapping of which were exact ly similar to those of the guardsmen. Thus equipped, he appeared on parade the next morning, confident in the assurance of re maining undetected, if not forced to draw his weapon. But Peter who had doubtless foreseen this contingency, instantly began storming at one of the men for his untidy appearance, and at length faced round upon Balakireff, said, "draw your sword aud cut that sloven down 1" Tho poor jester, thus brought to bay, laid his hand on his hilt as if to obey, but at the same time exclaimed fervently, "Mer ciful heaven I lot my sword be turned into wood 1" And drawing the weapon, he exhibited indeed a very harmless lath. Even the presence of the emperor was powerless to check the roar of laughter which followed, and Balakireff was allowed to escape. The jester's ingenuity occasionally serv ed him in extricating others from trouble as well as himsolf. A cousin of his, having fallen under the displeasure of the czar, was about to be executed; and Balakireff presented himself at the court to petition for a reprieve. Peter, seeing him enter and divining bis errand, shouted to him ; " Its no use your coming here; I swear that I will not grant that which you are going to ask 1" Quick as thought, Balakireff dropped on his knees, and exclaimed, "Peter Alox erevitch, I beseech you to put that scamp of a cousin of mino to death I" Peter, thus caught In his own trap, had no choice but to laugh, and sent a pardon to the offonder. During one of the czar's Livonlan cam paigns, a thick fog greatly obstructed the movements of tho army. At length a pale watery gleam began to chow itself through the mist and two of. the Russian ' officers fell to disputing whether this was the sun or not. Balakireff, happening to pass by that moment, they appealed to him to de cide. " is that light yonder the sun broth er?" . - . y '- ' "How should I know?" answered the jester ; " I've never boon hero before !" At the end of the campaign, several of the officers were relating their exploits, when Balakireff stopped in among them. "I've got a story to tell, too," cried he, boastfully ; "a bettor one than any of yours are!" " Let us hoar It, then," answered the officers ; and Balakireff began. . . " I never liked this way of fighting, all In a crowd together, which they have now-a-days ; it seems to me moro manly for each to stand by himself, and therefore I always went out alone. Now it chanced that one day, while reconnoiterlng close to the ene niies outposts, I suddenly espied a Swedish soldier lying on the ground Just In front of me 1 There was not a moment to lose ; he might start up and give the alarm. I drew my sword, rushed upon him, and at one blow cut off his right foot I" " You fool !" cried one of the listeners, " you should rather have out off his head !" "Sol would," answered Balakireff, with a grin, but somebody else had done that, already ! At time Balakireff pushed his waggeries too far, and gave serious offense to his for midable patron. On one of these occasions tho enraged emperor summarily banished him from the court, bidding him " never to appear on Russian soil again. y The jester disappeared accordingly, but a week had hardly elapsed when Peter, standing at his window, espied his disgraced favorite very coolly driving a cart past the very gates of the palace. Foreseeing some new jest, be hastened down, and asked with protended roughness, " How dare you disobey me, when 1 forbade you to show yourself on Russian ground ?",-. ; j i ' v ' ' ' "I haven't disobeyed you," answered Balakireff, coolly J .' I'm not on Russian ground now !' ,,, , 'Not on Russian ground?" "No ; 'this cart-load of earth that I'm sitting on is Swedish soil. ; I dug it up in Finland only the other day 1" Peter, who hod doubtless begun already to regret the loss of his jester, laughed at the evasion, and restored ' him to favor. Some Russian writers embellished this story (a Gorman version of which figures in tho adventures of Tyll Eulonspicgol) with the addition that Peter, ou hearing the excuse, answered, "If Finland be Swedish soil now, it sliall be Russian be fore long" a threat that he was not slow to fulfil. A Comical Neutral Letters Tho following letter was written by a gentleman to his son in St. Louis, and was kindly furnished by him for publication': " My Drar Sour One of the most pleas ing reflections in my declining years is the ready obedienco which you have always yielded to my whishes. Your Father's ad vice to you now is, as it was when you en listed in the war, namely, to bo neutral. You and I must be neutral that is to say, that while we take neither side as a side, we go our length for Greeloy and Brown. This is the genuine thing, my son. It is, in my judgraont, tho quintessence of neu trality. I have lately been much amused at some of my Democratic friends who appear anxious to know which side I am going to take in this contest. I have uniformly as sured them that I should take neither side as a side; that if I knew myself I was per fectly neutral, and that I should mind my own business aud vote for Greeley and Brown. Not for the round world, my boy, would I have you think that I am attempt ing to dictate, or in any way to control you in this matter. I have only this to say on that head, ,. i You asked me by the last mail to let you have one hundred dollars to purchase sugi cal instruments. I will answer your letter shortly. Meantime, (do you under stand ?) I am neutral, I take no side as a side, but I swear by Greeloy and Brown. They are my men and I am doing all I can for them. I send you a white hat, which is a sign and symbol of our neutrality. I will answer your hundred dollar letter in good time. Meantime I would like to know how the Greeloy hat fits. Understand mo, my son. Some parents undertake to control and direct the opin ions of their children. This is cruol. It Is barbarous. Parents should be neutral in such matters and leave their children do as they please. All that I find in my heart to do is to kindly advise you in the premis es, and to give you a gentle hint no more. You inform me that tho surgical instru ments are ' necessary, and that you are unable to purchase them. You therefore, like a good and dutiful son, call upon your father to aid you. Certainly you ought to have the instru ments. You may soon expect to hoar from me. But, as I was saying, I am determin ed to mantain my neutral ground and go it strong for Greoley and Brown. If your hat is too small, stretch it. . You ought to have those instruments just as certainly as that I am going to vote for Greeloy and Brown. While not wishing or intending in any way to influence you in the least, I would remark that I have just the one hundred dollars that I have no present use for and I stand on neutral ground iu other words, I am for the Cincinnati ticket against Bal timore and the field. 1 repeat I have just the one hundered to spare that you asked for. Meanwhile would it not bo well fur you to drop me a lino as to how you stand on tho subject ? Upon my soul I think it would. I agree with you that the surgical instru ments are a necessity. I do not see how you have done without them so long. But, my son you must remember that there is another necessity. It is necessary for the good of our common country that you should be neutral that is to say, that you should imitate the' pariotio example of your father, and vote for Greeley and Brown.' " ' 1 ' ! '' Indoed, I scarcely know what to do with that loose hundred dollars. You can write at your leisure and let me know how you stand, I wish you to exercise your own judgment and act as you think best, but you ought to have those instruments, and you know where to find mo. Your affect ionate father, . . J. B. : tW" Doctor," exclaimed a waggish Son of Temperance to a well-known doctor, "bow long will it take hanging to produce doath?" "Twenty, or at most thirty minutes," replied the doctor, '- but why do you ask?" " O, because last night I saw a man hanging for two hours, and is notdead yet." " You did !" exclaimed the doctor em phatically, " I havn't heard a word of this yet. ' Where was the man hanging ?" " He was hanging around an ale shop on North 8t." replied the wag. The doctor gave utterance to something that sounded like a blasphemous expres sion and passed on. Dutch Justice. tl , ., ! v . : An enterprising butcher of Cattaraugus county, New York, some time ago bought of a German farmer a calf, with the under standing to come for it on a cortain day. Being for some reason detained he did not go for the calf at the stated time. Mean time a butcher from Oleau came along and bargained for the calf, but could not take It just then. It happened they both went for the calf, on tho same day and both were determined to have it. The little butcher of Alleghany was not an equal for the big butcher from Olean, and therefore didn't get the veal. So he goes to sue " the Orlean feller or somebody mit the laws by the Jus tice." A brother German hearing the difficulty takes it upon himsolf to arrange things amicably they agreeing to leave it tobim. Now, Shake, you says you buys him first? Yaw. You gets him not? Neiu. Rudolph, you buys him second? Yaw, I buys him all the 'time. Well, then, you geU him? Of course, he bees mine all the vilo. I kills him and sells him in mine shop. So you gets more ven you sells him as ven you buys him ? . Of course yaw. I makes no monish less I do not. - How much you make on dis calf? O, from two ash three dollars. Well, then you shust pay dis man for his calf. Den you shust give Shake one half what you make on dis veal. Dats what I say. So that law suit was tried without swear ing a witness,aud equal justice rendered. How they Shave In China. A fellow who has been shaved in China says that his barber first strapped the ra zor on his leg and then did the shaving without any lather. Tho customer remon strated, but was told that tho lather was entirely useless, and had a tendency to make the hair stiff and tough, and woe therefore, never usod by persons wlio had any knowledge of the face and its appen dages. After the beard had been taken off and it was done in a very short time the barber took a long, sharp, needle-shaped spoon and began to explore his custo mer's ears. He brought up from the nu merous littlo crevices bits of wax and dirt that had been accumulating since his child hood. The barber suddenly twisted bis subject's neck to one side in such a manner that it cracked as if the vertebra) had been dislocated. , "Hold on !" shouted the party, alarmed for the safety of his neck. " All right 1" replied thotonsors "me hurt you 1" and he continued to jerk and twist tho neck until it was as limbor as an old lady's dish rag. He then fell to beating the back, breast, arms, and sides with his fists, and pummolod the muscles until they fairly glowed with the boating they received. Then ho dashed a bucket of cold water over his man, dried tho skin with towels, and declared that his work was done. Price, two cents. A Singular Hotel. Of all the hotels in the world the very oddest is a lonely one In California, on the rood between San Jose and Santa Cruz. Imagine ten immense trees standing a few feet apart and hollow inside ; these are the the hotel neat, breezy and romantic. The largest tree is sixty-five foot around, and contains a sitting room and that bureau of Bacchus wherefrom is dispensed the thing that biteth and stingoth. All about this tree is a garden of flowers and evergreens. The drawing-room is a bower made of rod wood, evergreens and madrona branches. For bed-chambers there are nine great hol low trees, white washed or papered, and having doors cut to fit the shape of the holes. Literature finds a place in a lean ing stump, dubbed "the library." If it were not for that same haunt the guests of Bacchus, it Is certain that the guests of this forest establishment would feel like nothing so much as dryades. tf A splendid illustration of Mr. Dar win's theory has turned up in Vienna. There is a girl there, aged thirteen, a na tive of Palermo, Therese Gambardell, who is literally covoied with hair so thickly that the Vienna papers pronounce her skin more like a fur than any thing else. The famous Julia Pastrana is described as per fectly smooth compared with the new claim, ant to celebrityj whose hairy covering ex tends from head to foot even tho forehead which in similar cases is said to have been invariably found bare being entirely over grown. The head closely resembles that of a monkey, and several abnormities in the build of the body still further complete the resemblance. ' flTAt Sharon, N. Y., recently a pretty Bhakeress eloped witb a young Shaker, greatly to the surprise and 'indignation of the Community. The runaway couple were followed but tho pursuers found that they were too late as the happy couple had been made man and wife. The lady, In answer to the angry expostulations of her friends, is reported to have said: , . " You can make your apple boss and war rant it to keep ; but gals ain't apples, and you can't bile 'em down so they won't sour on your old rulos about marrying." 1 SUNDAY BEADING. t . t--t -: . ". ' The Testimony of the Dying. '', ' ' ' BY REV. JOHN S. C. ABBOTT. T11HE name of Sir Humphry Davis is one JL of the most- conspicuous in the annals of the past. As a philosopher he attained the highest eminence. He had opulence which enabled him to surround himself with all the luxuries of life. His celebrity gave him rank whlclijSule him a welcome guest in the castle of nobles and the palaces of kings. This Illustrious man as he placed his head upon the pillow of death loft be hind him the following testimony : " I envy no qualities of the mind and in tellect in others, nor genius, nor power, nor wit, nor fancy. But if I could choose what would be most delightful and I believe most useful to me, I should prefer a firm religious belief to every other blessing, for it makes life a discipline of good, creates new hopes when all earthly hopes vanish, throws over the decay of existence the most gorgeous of all lights, awakes life in death, and calls from corruption and decay beauty and everlasting glory." Such testimony from such a. man is cer tainly worthy of being deeply pondered by every thoughtful mind. And how much confirmatory testimony have we of the same nature. Recall to mind the words of Prince Albert as he was breathing his last, amid the splendors of one of England's most gorgeous palaces : " I havo enjoyed wealth, rank, and pow er. But if this were all I had, how wretch ed should I be now. "Hock of ages cleft for me, Let me hide myself In thee." Visit in imagination the solitude of Marshfield, whore Daniel Webster is dying with a heart broken by disappointments and regrets. The silence of tho dying chamber is disturbed only by the ticking of the clock, and the breaking of tho surf upon the shore. It is midnight. Listen to tho last utterances of that voice to which a ' nation has often lout its ear in willing homage : "The boast of heraldry, the pomp of power And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave, Await alike the Inevitable hour. The paths of glory lead but to the grave." The silence of the death-chamber remains for a few moments unbroken, when again that voice is heard exclaiming in its most solemn and fervid tones : " Show pity. Lord, 0 Lord, forgive, Let a repenting rebel live, Are not thy mercies large and free T May not a sinner trust In thee ?" Enter the mournful glooms which en velop the dying bed of Sir Walter Scott. Uis genius has won the admiration of near ly all Christendom. Now impoverished, disappointed in all his plans, paralyzed, he is gasping in the death-struggle. He raises his imploring eyes to his son Lockharr,who is standing by his side, and says : " My dear, dear son, be a good man ; bo a religious man ; nothing else will give you any comfort when you come to lie here." Edmund Burke has arrived at the close of his wonderful career. The diplomacy of evory cabinet in Europe has been swag ed by tbe energies of his gigantio mind. He has stood upon the highest pinnacle of intellectual greatness, the admiration of an applauding world. With weary heart and pallid cheek he now stands upon the verge of the spirit land, and looks back, and looks forward, Hear him : "What shadows we are and what shad ows we pursue. I would not, in this hard season, give one peck of refuse wheat for all that is called fame and honor in the world." Prince Talleyrand, one of the moBt re nownod and successful of European states men, having attained the ago of oighty threo years, is prostrate on a dying bed. In scarcely logiblo lines he traces with pen cil upon paper tbe following as his dying testimony : " Behold eighty-throe years passed away I What cares, what agitations,' what anxie ties, what ill-will, what sad complications ! And all without othor result savo great fa tigue of body and mind, and a profound sentiment of discouragement with regard to the future, and disgust with regard to tho past." " , And now lot us enter the doath-chamber of Edward Payson. He hod devoted the energies of his lifo, as a disciple of Jesus, to winning souls to God. Thus he had been preparing for a dying hour and laying up treasure in heaven. To his sister he wrote: "The celestial city is full In my view. Its glories beam upon mo. Its breezes fan me. Its odors are wafted to me. Its sounds strike upon my ear and its spirit is breathed into my heart. Tho sun of righteousness has boon gradually drawing nearer and nearer, appearing larger and brighter as he approaubod, and now he fills the wholo homjsphore, pouring forth a flood of glory, in which I seem to float like an insect in the beams of the sun. ' " O my sister, could you but know what awaits the Christian, eould you only know as much as I now know, you oould not re frain from rejoicing and even leaping for joy. ' And now, my dear, dear sister, fare well 1 Hold on your Christian course but a few days longer, and you will meet In heaven your happy ami affectionate broth er." I'-'. .-!.. . ; ,-. Reader, you soon will be psostrate upon a dying bed. Are you prepared for that hour? Aud what will be the testimony you will leave behind you?
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