jc mcsNcw Bloomfictir, JJcu Laughable , Mistakes. IN the thriving village of Ilollytliorn there were (as is common in such places) a church post-office, a couple ' of stores, and a district school, being taught by a young lady who had a widowed mother and brothers and sisters to assist in sup porting. For the 'sake of economy, Miss Eva Stanley ' " boarded around" among the scholars, and was. considered a paragon among teachers. Her father had been a respeotablc mechanic, but died after two years of illness, which bitterly impoverished the family. Eva had however, (she boing the oldest,) received a good plain education before the great calamity ' fell upon them, and noble-hearted and unselfish, began her work of assisting In the support. ' The last week previous to the holiday vacation she had been boarding at a Mrs. Carpentor'SjWho was makinggigantic prep arations for guests sho was expecting from Isew York. ... " Tou never met my brother, Eva," she said, and then began to give a discription of them. " There's 8am, George, and Johnny, the youngest; and such times as they do have when they cot out here to rest and rusticate, as they call it ! But, dear mo, J don't get much rest or peace,' for they are like a lot of boys let out of school, Such tricks and pranks no man ever saw. The last time they visited mo altogether, John and Sara actually cut a pane of glass from the window, and pelted George out of my best room with snow I You see there is always a strife for that particular room, for the bed is a spring one, and as they say they don't sleep on any othor in the city. But thoy don't got in there this time, that's certain, for I intend to keep you in that room, and that will end the controversy. I am so afraid that they will break or ruin something, that I am glad you nre hero. It may keep them in check a little." ' I would just as soon occupy another room, Mrs. Carpenter, and do not wish to incommodnte your brothers I have no right to do SO." i r . "No you shan't, Eva," peremptorily ex claimed her hostoss, " and what is tlio use of your going home vacation ; week? You ' can stay hero just ns well as not, and do your sewing on my machine. Your mother has mouths enough to feed I guess, and won't miss your's." The subject was dropped, and the entire household retired early, for to-morrow the brothers young, ardent full of life, were going to be there. But without sending any word of their intention, they had con cluded to take the evening train, .which would land them at Ilollytliorn about bed time. George and John did so, and, whon . safely seated in the cars, began to spec ulate about the absence of Sam. "No reason upon earth why lie shouldn't have been along," said George. " No, for he told mo this morning ho certainly would be on hand," replied John. " I can't make it out unless ho has taken the Ave o'clock train in mistake." " Not a bit of it," laughed John, who fan cied he understood the entire programme. " It's more likely he took the train on pur pose to get into Hannah's spare bed room, and make ub take up with straw ticks and feathers." "I didn't think of that, but I reckon you are right. We must contrive some way to get him out somehow." " Bet your life on that." The brothers put their heads together, and laughed merrily over tome scheme of outwitting Sam, and accordingly, whon the train reached Ilollytliorn, about 11 o'clock they approached the bouse of their sister in a very stealthy manner. Climbing a fence in the rear, they softly opened a window and obtained ac cess to the pantry, where they demolished a mince pie and a quantity of doughnuts. 'Then, with appetites appeased, they remov ed their boots and prepared to investigate the "best room"-stole along the hall, which was dimly lighted by the moon, ascended the stairs and reached the door. The faint rays of the moon disclosed a chair piled with clothing, and they could distinctly trace the outlines of a form beneath the bed clothes, with not the re ' motest idea but that Sam was enjoying sweet repose upon Hannah's best bed. ' A few whispered words were exchanged, and then as softly and lightly as if shod with down, they drew near. " All ready !" Whispered George. 1 Quick as thought they seized upoii the form of the sleeper, bed clothes and all, bore it swiftly down the stairs, out into the snow1, and was about to deposit It in a huge drift, when a shrill scream broke the stillness ef the night, and oh I horror ! it was that of a woman t And in their con sternation they dropped ' their burden plump into the middle of the drift 1 " Good Heaven t" exclaimed George, Mt isn't Sam, but some woman, as I am a six ner, and she has fainted. Run and call Hannah." - " Whitb admirable presence of mind be lifted the limp form of Eva Stanly and car ried her Into the house. But her cry had already been heard, and the Inmates eanie rashlng into the hall just as he appeared. 1 " George I John I for goodnets sake hat does this mean, and who have you there ?' asked Mrs. Carpenter) in one breath. '"Blessed if I know," began Goorgo; "we thought it was Sam, so we con eluded to give him a douce ii the snow, for getting Into the best bed and trying to euchre us. Quick ) I believe she has faint cd. ."Just like you I" scolded Hannah, as she assisted in depositing Eva once more upon the bed ft-ora whloh she had ;boen so unceremoniously taken ;' "beginning ' your tricks upon each other before you fairly get into the house. Clear out, now 1" L'o'ng before sho had got through with her tirade her discomfited brothers had betaken themselves down stairs, whore they almost went into hysterics over the joko. . ,, , " A pietty kettle of fish !" said George, rolling over the ljoor and letting off peal after peal of laughter. ." I should think it was," replied John, holding his sides. "Oh I my. But what tho d ickens is to be done about it, and who do you suppose she is, George?" . . " Some guest of Hannah's, of course,and young and pretty at that, I don't know how it is with you, but I feci paiticularly small and extremely cheap would sell myself at a very low price.". , "Cheap?" roared John. "Cheap?. I would nctually give myself away this bless ed minute, and th row something in to boot, What weaio to do I can't say; but I bo lievo I shall dig out of this placo and get back to the city before morning. I haven't got the courage to faco the music, so I'll get up and get." Ho began hastily putting on his boots, and would havo put his threats into execu tion but for tho nppcaranco of Hannah, who at once assorted her authority. " You are not going a singlo step," said sho; "but I don't wonder you feel ashamed of yourselves. What on earth possessed you is more than I can tell." . " That's right, Hannah, pitch in, scold away. I'll tako my amount just now, for I'm as meek as a lamb. But who is it we have played such a trick on?" replied George. , " Trick ? I should think it was. Why, it is Eva Stanley, just ns nice a young lady as ever lived. She is our school teacher, and this is her week to board hero; and I knew well enough you boys would bo squabbling over tho , room as usual, so I put her in there, littlo thinking you would como homo in this s tcalthy manner." " Eva Stanley ? Whew 1 A pretty school teacher," and repeating his sister's words, ho gave a lugubrious groan. " Has she recovered?" questioned John, vainly endeavoring to restrain his laughid g at tho wry faces his brother was making. . ", Yes, I soon brought her to; but I don't believe the poor gill will ever get over her fright. She said the first thing she knew sho was being lifted , up and carried out, and she was so much alarmed that sho eouldu't utter a sound, but the moment the eold air struck her, she realized that she was being abducted or something of the kind, and had time to utter a scream when she fainted. It is too bad, I declare, boys, I shouldn't wonder if sho had taken her death being dragged out of a warm bed this time of night and dropped into a snow drift in that fashion. No wonder that she cried, poor thing." , j "Cried, did she? repeated George, with a groan. " I should think she did. I just took her in my arms and let her have her cry out, while 1 explained to her how she hap pened to be mistaken for Sam, and so be came the victim of your mad pranks." "That was neat of you, Han. I'm awful glad you hugged the poor little thing. Wish you had given her a brotherly squeeze for roe 'pon my honor I do. i Oh dear 1 1 am in sackcloth and ashes from this time henceforward and forever," : re plied George, with another dismal groau. , " And how on earth do you expect us to stay and take the cousequences ?" asked John, beginning to look serious. " I had rather face a mask battory than this pretty teacher, after making such fools of our selves." ' i . . i i "I don't care if you had," answered his sister, Indignantly. "Tho only way to do is to brave it out, both of you, and apol gize for your rudeness. She is not a bit stupid, but pleasant and -merry, and no doubt you will have a jolly laugh over the affair." - " But Sam ? How the deuoe are we to got along with him. You know woll enough, Han., we shall never hear Uie last of it from him; but it will be brought up at all times and in all places." " If you two can keep the secret, I'll And a way to silence Bridget, and it is a subject Eva will not care to Imve discussed, and fortunately my husband is away from home. So go to bed and rest -contented." ' She sliowed the room ' she had intended them to occupy, ' and soon the house was once more hushed in slumber. ' Meanwhile their brother Sam had reach ed the depot a few minutes too lata. ' He found the train he was to have taken gone, but upon consulting a time table, he ascertained that another tram started two hours later, and mo -decided to take' it. He figured to himself, s he impatiently orawl etiito an empty aeot,- and -being whirled along at a rapid rate, how snugly his broth ers had essconsed themselves into the best room, which by right belonged to the eld est, and consummated a plan to get even with them. .,,,' Sometime after midnight he was depos ited at Ilollytliorn, and reaching his sister's house, he scouted around until he found a way of entrance into the kitchen, where he deposited his luggage and removed his boots. I Then1 heuiotly stole up stairs and opened the'door of the best room. Sure enough, thought he, "my chaps you are in clover," for there were not to be mistaken signs of tho roW being occupied. ' Gar ments were lying upon chairs, and the bed was being possessed by slumbering forms. To think of coping with their united strength by dragging them forth, was not practicable, but there stood the pitcher of water, and he know that a good dousing . with that icy fluid would bring them out quick enough. " If I can't have my old quarters," ho chucked, "you shan't that I am determin ed on. So here goes." He lifted the pitcher and approached tho bed, raised it high, and suddenly dashed the entire contents upon the sleeper ! Such a torrent of screams as he heard never had rang through the house and boforo Sam could colloct his scattered Renscs door after door opened and Hannah, Georgo and John rushed in, clothed in scanty apparrol Hannah with a'.frightened look in her faco and a lamp in her tremb ing hand, that revealed the entire scone. ' There,' sitting up in bed, with ' her hair dripping like a mermaid, her night dress deluged, her faco colorless and) eyes look ing terror, was the young school-mistress and thero was Sam, with the empty pitch er in his hand, the very picture of imbecil ity, staring about like an idiot at Miss Eva and the havoc he had made. Hannah, George and John instantly com prehended tho situation, and the latter, at the command of their sister, dragged Sam away, while sho assisted the drenched and terrified girl to dry clothing, and then took her to her own room and bed explaining, for the second ' time the mishaps of tho night. ' ' " I'll keep you with mo' now, my poor child," said silo, though with great diffi culty she kept back her laughter. " Those boys are nicely come up with at any rate, if it wasn't for you having been so fright ened, and the way my best bed has been used, I wouldn't caro. Thoy do nothing when thoy are bore but study up some trick to play on each ' other, and," continued she, by way of apology, " thoy are so con fined iu their offices and stores during most of the year, that they let entirely looso when thoy get here. But you are safe now." Hannah kissed her ' chargo, and went down to see the boys, who as soon as they were fairly shut up in the regions below, began thorou ghly to appreciate the joko; and now, that Sam was as deep in the mud as thoy were in the mire, gave no quarter. " I'll be blamed if I know what it all means," said Sam, looking in confusion at his brothers, who were rolling and kicking in convulsions of laughter. " Wait" replied George " until Hannah comes, and see if you don't find out I" And ho gave vent to another peal. Sam had not smiled and sat looking tho very picture of discomfort and perplexity, but answered: " For heaven's sake, hold on boys I' I'm willing to admit that I'm badly sold gone dog choap to the highest bidder; but hold up long enough to tell a fellow what it sans." "Means? Of course I wjll," continued George, holding his sides. It means that you have stolon like a thief into Miss Eva Stanley's bedchamber who is a young lady teach or and "boarding around;" that this is her week here; and thinking it was yqur humble servant andJ6hnny snug ' in bed, you uttempted to drown us out and mado a grand 1 mistake, now do you like it j Sam." " I confess I see tho poin tlmt can't see the joke. It is a most outrageous shame." At this juncture nannab came in and began rating tliV-m soundly, thereby letting out the whole story. It was Sam's turn ' to laugh. He struggled manfully to retain his gravity, but the whole thing was so su premoly rldiculous'that he was compelled to join his brothers. ' "''' "' ' Miss Eva was not visible at the breakfast table next moming,'and Hannah announc ed that she was sick with a severe cold; whereupon George groaned out ' and called for a handful of peas to put in Sam's boots, while the gentlemen looked Very contrite, and John declared he wanted to shoot him self. But Hannah had ' the unruly crew tinder he thumb for once in her life, and had the satisfaction also of seeing " thorn behave with something like dignity. They appeared to never forget that there was an invalid in the house, ' and went on tiptoe about; and Sain,' who seemed to take the entire responsibility upon' bis shoulders, sent off slyly to New York for c hoice fruits and flowers, which he induced his sister to convey to the young lady with the most abject apologies and regrets. '!-' ' In a couple of days Eva ' was able to come down stairs.' She was looking very pale and lovely, ' and, of course, blushed Cifidently when presented by Mrs. Car penter to her three brothers, who behaved quite well considering the unpleasantness of their situation. But Sam, who had broken the ice by means of his presents, was the most ;a't ease, and, by virtue of his age aud experi ence constituted himself the propitiator, and was constantly on hand to give Era a a thousand namoless attentions, and, before the week was out, John declared, in contt donee to Hannah, that "Sam was done fort" '-'. "Gone under completely I" . echoed George, with one of his dismal ! groans. Just think of it, Han, if it had not been for that pitcher of water, Sara would,, have been heart-whole this blessed minute. The follow; meets lots of girls much prettier than she every day, and with lots of stamps too. They say pity is twin sister of love, and I believe it." "Sour grapes I" whispered John, puck ing his mouth. ' " Hannah sang Eva's praises, and secret ly commended Sam's choice. ' Sho recom mended marriage to all of them as being the only sobering process she was acquaint ed with. It is a piece of advice, however, they did not appear inclined to follow, not. withstanding Sam's happy lot with the pretty school mistress of Ilollytliorn. Sho often reminds her brothers-in-law of her unceremonious introduction to a snow drift in tho dead of night, and they retali ate by tho shower-bath given by Sain. And she twines her arms about Sam's neck, and with tears in her Bwcet blue eyes, declares but for that cpisodo, sho fears sho would never had a husband. A Tall Story. A man in Detroit gavo mo somo idea of the richness of the soil in that vicinity. He said there ' wasn't any placo on tho earth whoro things grew as they do there. Ho said his wife never mado bread. Sho always made littlo biscuits the size of an egg, and sho would leave them an hour to swell by themselves, and they would grow into twelve pound loaves. I thought to myself you are a loafer. Ho continued his growing tale, and said! ' ! ' "Once there was a man. Ho went into the woods aud chopped down four trees. Housed the four stumps for cornet posts, and ho built' a nice log house on. thoso stumps. Then lie and his family went to bed in tho house. Tho next morning ho found himself and family up 60 feet in the air, with a lot of Indians'down cellar wait ing to cut their hair off, and the Indians did scalp the whole of 'em." ' ' "Stranger," said I, "you don't mean to tell mo that those trees grew sixty fect in one night." " Sir, I do," says he, " and notonly that they hoisted tho house with 'cm." "Are you sure it wasn't sixty-ono feet'."' I asked meekly. "Sir," said ho, "I never prevaricate, especially on ono foot." 'So they took and calpcd them all, did thoy ?" said I. ' ' ' ' " They did," said ho. "How in tho namo of Mary who had the littlo lamb did they get up to 'em ?" I ask ed. Says ho. " Respected sir, thoso Indians each one sawed off a tree ; then each Indi an sat on a stump, and thoso stumps grow tho Indians up to the houso and then they icalped tho family. A Rare Client. A good joke is told of a young lawyer who sports a shinglo lu the vicinity of Wall street. On one of the days of last week, ho was called upon by a Fronchman, with a request that he would immediately acom pany him to his houso, as he wanted his advice. Without a moment's loss of time our lawyer threw down his books and star ted, consoling himself, during a long walk up Hudson street, with the vision of a f 5 retainor; and a long bill of costs. On ar riving at the domicil of his client, he was ushered up staias, introduced to the wife of tho Frenchman, and very complacently waited the opening of tho business. "Monsiour," said the client, " they ave got the small pox like do deuce down stairs and up stairs they ave got it a great sight worse, and they havo shut up my gangway." Without waiting to hear more tho law yer caught up his hat, aud giving the Frenchman not a very polite benediction, bolted the houso, returning to his office iu no very enviablojfooliug s, lifter his walk of three miles, to give his advice to a man surrounded by smallpox patients. Popping the Question. ' ' ' , Going over on the ferry boat the othor day, the water was a little rough, and a lovely and estimable young lady, as the boat gave a sudden lurch, clung affright edly to the extended elbow of her male companion. Looking up into his fond orbs Bhe murmured, " O Henry, this terrible !" "Yes, it Is," he responded) " but lean on me and I will protect you." " Do you think it will be as rough as this all the way across?"1 anxiously inquired the female. "I do," responded Henry.' "Tlieul guess I'll have to to' loan on you," said the lady. "For ' life?" whispered Henry, 1 turning pale at the thought of refusal. ' I don't know the water is awful rough I guess -yes---ask papa." 1 ' '"" ' ST. ELMO HOTEL, " .(FORMERLY "THE UNION,") JOS. M. FEWER, ' . ; Proprietor, 817 '& 819 ARC n STREET, PHILADELPHIA. Terms,' $2.60 Per Day. THE ST. ELMO Is centrally located una lias been re-tltted and refurnished, so that It will 1) found as comfortable and pleasant a stopping place as there is Iu Philadelphia. 6 2j Farmers Take Notice, rjruiE subscriber oilers for Sale THRESHING MACHINES. JACKS and HORSE POWER, With Tumbling Shaft, and Side-Gearing, Warrant ed to give satisfaction In speedy and perfect threshing, light draft and durability, on reasona ble terms. Also . . i , , I JL. O U G H Of Superior Make. CORN HHEI.LKHS. KETTLES, STOVES. HCC Mll'H j AM) ALL CASTINGS, made at a country Foundry. Also, A (iOOI) MILL SCREW, In excellent order, for sale at a low rate. T riifn i" Htnu ululil., ... ) . i .. i . a i Samuel Shuinan, John Hoden, Ross llench, at Iokesbnrg. Jacob Shoemaker i Son, Elliotts- ...... ...n-vu i-muciiiAncTi cv foil, 1MMOUS- irgs Ihomas Morrow. Loysvllle: John Flicking. '.Jacob Fllcklnger, Centre. 620 13- Ulll er T . . ,r SAMUEL LIGGETT. Ickesburg, May 14. 1872. Xeiv Millinery Goods J.t Newport, Pu, I BEG to Inform the public that I have Just re turned from Philadelphia, with a lull assort ment of the latest styles ot , MILLINERY GOODS, ' ' ' - HATS AND BONNETS. RIBBONS, FRENCH FLOWERS FEATHERS, CHIGNONS, " LACE CAPES, NOTIONS, i ' And all articles usually found In a tirst-class Mil linery Establishment. All orders promptly at tended to. -VVo will sell all goods as Cheap as can be got elsewhere. DRESS-MAKING done to order and' in the la test style, as I net the latest Fashions from New York every month. Goffering done to order, in, all widths. 1 will warrant all my work to give sat isfaction. All work done as low as possible. . ANNIE ICKES, . Cherry Street, near the Station, . , o 10 J3 . Newport, Pa. CARLISLE CARRIAGE FACTORY ' ' A. Ji. SIIEliK has a large lot of second-hand work on cSHSJL hand, which he will sell cheap Iu order E2Esg to make room for new work, FOR THE . SPRING TRADE. ,' - lie has. also, the best lot of . . - .j NEW ,W0RK ON HAND. You can always see different styles. The material. Is not in question any more, for It Is the best used If you want satisfaction Iu style, quality and price, go to this shop before purchasing elsewhere. There is no tli-iii that has a better Trade, or sells more In Cumberland aud Perry counties. . REPAIRING AND PAINTING promptly attended to. Factory -- Corner of South, and Pitt Streets, 3 dp CAUMSL.K, 1A. rEICHY- COUXTY Ileal Estate, Insurance, CLAIM AGiaVCY. , LEWIS POTTER & CO., Ileal Eitate Broken, Insurance, Claim Agent ' TSc-vv Illoomliell, rti. WE INVITE the attention of buyers and sell ers to the advantages we oiler them in pur chasing or disposing of real estate through our of. tlce. We have a very large list of deslrab property consisting of farms, town property, mills, store and tavern stands, ami real estate of any descrip tion which we are prepared to otre.r at great bar gains. We srUertise our property very extensive ly, and use all our elfcirts, skill, and d'illlgeuce to ellecta sale. We make no charges unless the property Is sold while registered with us. We also Ura up deeds, Iwmds, mortgages, andull legal pa pers at moderate rates. Some of the best, cheapest, and most reliable tire, life, and cattle Insurance companies In the United States are represented at this agency. Property Insured either on the cash or mutual plan, and perpetually at U and tfi per thousand. Pensions, bounties, and all kinds of war claims collected. There are thousand of soldiers and heirs of soldiers who are entitled to pensions nnd bounty, who have never made application. Sol diers. If you were wounded, ruptured, orcontract ed a disease tu the service from which you are dls-abk-d, you are entitled to a pension. When widows of soldiers die ormarry.tlie minor ohlldreu are entitled to the H9iision. ... Parties having any business to transact In our line, are respeotrully Invited to give us a call, as we are comment wecau render satisfaction lu any branch of our business. 1 1 No charge for Information. J40 ly LEWIS POTTER & CO. jOBINSON IIOUSE , ,. . ... (Formerly kept by Woodruff and Turbett,) , , iYi KioomleU, firry County, ra. , ; , , , ,' , AM08 ROBINSON, Proprietor. . , . This wen known "and pleasantly located hotes has been leased for a number of years by the pres ent iiroprletoi Mind he will spare no pal us to accom modate his uuests. The rooms are comfortable, the table well furnished with the best In Ilia mar ket, and the bar stocked with choice liquors. A. careful and attentive hostler will lie In attendance. A good livery stable will be kept by the proprietor April 3.187L tf , -y LOC'lIMAX'tt Writing Ilnid ! THIS FLUiD Is warranted EQUAL to ARNOLD'S, and Is sold at muuli less pi-lee. The money will be refunded to those buying It, it it does not. Trove entirely satisfactory. For sale by F. Mortimer, New Bloomfleld. U MILLER A ELDER, Sol Agents, ,- - ; - . , - 430 Market Street, , mil " ' Philadelphia..
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